Midnight Deception
Chapter 3 of 20
Celestial MelodyRiana prepares to leave her home for Hogwarts...
ReviewedMidnight Deception
Reaching the bottom of the staircase, Riana took a right turn and reentered the sparkling, spotless kitchen. Her parents were sitting in the exact same spots they had been when she’d dashed out of the room only five minutes before. Leanne was staring, absorbed, into her cup of French vanilla coffee, but looked up when Riana entered the room. Riana’s father was still reading his London Daily.
“Mum, Dad, I’m sorry for my tantrum.” Riana swallowed quickly as the lie rose easily to her lips; she wasn’t a bit sorry. “And I’ve decided to forget about that whole letter thing. It was probably a joke anyway.”
Here, she giggled, a high, forced giggle that was not her own because her parents’ complacency was causing the blood in her veins to boil and she knew that she would start screaming in a moment. But she bit back the temptation and continued. “But I’d also like to know if I could, you know, have my … the letter, because it is mine and, well, I’d like to put it in my scrapbook.”
Riana’s mum loved scrapbooking and encouraged her daughter to keep one. Of course Riana hated the thing and put it off, telling her mother that she kept up with it faithfully—yet another lie, although small and insignificant. However, the mention of the scrapbook did clinch the matter, and Leanne smiled at her daughter, picked up the letter from the table and held it out to Riana, who walked up and gave her mum a tiny and unwilling hug of thanks. Leanne was big on hugging. John continued reading his newspaper.
*
“Ding! DONG…” The downstairs grandfather clock chimed the hour, and a very late hour it was, indeed. Riana crept down the stairs, dressed in her thin, flannel nightgown. If anyone had been watching her, they might have thought that a skeleton-like wraith was making its way down from a moon-lit recess. As Riana stepped off the last step into the hall, her slanted grey eyes narrowed further still as she slowly looked to the left and then swung her head to the right, straight, ebony hair rippling in the moonlight, echoing the motion of her small head.
Stealthily, Riana edged to the left and entered her father’s study. Pausing as she stepped through the open door, Riana took another guilty look over her shoulder and, seeing no one, proceeded to the far edge of the room. She lifted a portrait of her mum, her dad, and herself and peeked underneath.
Ha! she shouted, silently, oh, so silently. Found you…
There, hidden behind the harmless portrait, was her father’s safe. Once, Riana had been skipping merrily down the stairs and, by pure chance—or was it fate?—had looked to the left and seen her father swinging the portrait out of the way and fitting a small, gold key into the lock that opened the concealed safe. As she had watched—so many years ago—her father had reached into the small, cement hole in the wall and stuffed in several stacks of money: it was this money that Riana was after now.
Riana swung the portrait quietly back into place and began a systematic search for the key. She opened her father’s desk drawers—all of them. Nothing. She cursed quietly. Staring slit-eyed around the room, her eyes fell on a small Chinese urn placed decoratively on a small table in a corner.
Could that be…? she wondered and resolutely walked over to it. There was no stopper in the urn, and she peeked fearfully over the top to see if, by chance, there were any spiders that she would have accidentally disturbed. No such colony appeared to exist, and she reached her bony arm, arm-pit high, deep into the urn. Her fingers groped around in the dusty darkness, searching for any slight imperfection in the smooth recesses of the urn.
She was beginning to feel that this might not be her father’s hiding spot after all when her pencil-thin fingers brushed over a small, cold, metallic shape. She gasped in surprise and ecstasy and then quickly froze, listening to see if anyone else in the house had heard her audible breath. There was no sound from upstairs—Riana breathed a silent sigh of relief and groped again for the key; her fingers found it, and she seized the tiny, metal object and drew it out into the cold, moonlit room.
The gold key rested on her palm, blue in the filtering moonbeams and cool, insolent. She liked keys. They did not give up their secrets easily and neither did she. A small smile tilted the corners of Riana’s proud mouth up into a smirk, and she marched across the room, lifted the portrait and resolutely placed the key in the lock, where it fit perfectly.
Barely suppressing a shout of triumph, Riana turned the key and heard a satisfying click in the recesses of the grey safe. She pulled the handle and opened the safe door, her eyes dazzled at the sight of the piles of pound notes and other greater bills.
She turned around once more to make sure no one was lurking—Lurking like a snitch—she thought angrily, and, when she saw no one, began to grasp the piles of money and shove them into a purple cloth bag with a gold drawstring that used to hold her collection of marbles.
After stuffing in only as much money as she thought she would need to buy school supplies and a train ticket, Riana shut the safe door and quickly locked it. Swinging the family portrait back into place and straightening it, she hurried over to the urn, stuck her arm deep inside and nestled the golden key back in the bottom, among its fellow urn-mates—the dust bunnies.
Riana prowled to the door and looked back at the study to check if it was in pristine order—it was. She allowed herself a tiny smile of triumph and, walking a few paces forward, began creeping back up the stairs. She had only managed several steps when she heard the floorboards in the hall above her creak. Her slanted eyes widened in fear, and she quickly pivoted and dashed down the stairs, leaping from the last step to the floor as lightly and with as much grace as a cat.
She sprang up, then, and glanced wildly from side to side. She couldn’t go in the study … that was absolutely ridiculous. She looked to her right and heard the footsteps on the second floor walk closer to the top of the staircase. In an instant, she made her decision and darted down the hallway to the kitchen.
Riana stood in the moonlight-bathed kitchen in desperate misery—there was nowhere to hide. Her parents would surely ask what she had been doing if they found her wide awake, clutching a purple bag full of money.
That’s the least that they would do, Riana thought bitterly; I’d be grounded for a month.
Gazing around the immaculate cleanliness of her mum’s kitchen, Riana spotted a crystal drinking glass drying upside down on a fluffy, white towel by the sink. She promptly walked toward it, her gaze zeroing in on the cabinet door under the sink as she did so. She knelt down quickly; her thin body hunched over itself, and opened the white cabinet, shoving her bag inside. Straightening up, Riana grabbed the glass and filled it with water from the tap; she put the glass to her lips just as her mother walked in, yawning sleepily.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Serpent in the Moonlight
33 Reviews | 7.45/10 Average
It was all incredibly well-written. So does Riana get help to deal with her anorexia? Did you adopt the plot in another more well-read FF because we readers here aren't doing your authoring justice in reviewing? I think it's just that the traffic isn't high, but it will come! Is the completed FF posted in another HP portal?
Love your pace. And the OCs. Too bad I wouldn't have come across this story if not for the random FF spinner.
I have been reading your story avidly since the beginning. Good work, though I wish the girl would eat!
Wow ... a much longer chapter! I have about thirty seconds to review, so I'll just say that that was great, and I can't wait till they get to Hogwarts. I'm glad Fabian will be looking out for her!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, I know ... it was very long. I'm not too fond of it, actually, so I'm going to rewrite it and then resubmit it. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. Your reviews, as always, truly encourage me! :-)I, too, cannot WAIT until they get to Hogwarts ... it's been too long. :-PThanks again!~Julia~
Ooh ... what an unusual idea! I'm looking forward to finding out exactly what happened in that chapter. Does Leanne know that Riana is at the Leaky Cauldron now?I thoroughly enjoyed your writing in that chapter, particularly this : "Carefully ignoring the prone figure frozen on the bed, Riana’s evading gaze hurriedly glanced at the floor where the broken glass from the photograph mixed with the fibers of pink carpet, creating a sparkling mélange of color as it was touched by the pinpricks of moonlight from the room’s open windows."Really lovely. Well done! :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks for your complimentary review, :). I'm so pleased that you are still enjoying the story.
I'm so glad, too, that you liked the idea for this chapter--it has been the one that most people have complaints against. Some feel it's too vague, others don't understand the point. However, rest assured that there is, indeed, significance in that blue book with the bronze writing. Hee!
I believe that the way in which I wrote it explains why most people find a hard time enjoying it, :-S. This chapter was very similar to my one-shot, "The Ultimate Trust" in that it was very image-oriented and had less of a storyline. Most people don't like that. But I'm thrilled that you tapped into that. Kudos to you for being observant! :P
And about Leanne, yes, she knows that Riana is alive, anyway. But she doesn't know--and I believe I can tell you this without ruining anything--that Riana is at the Leaky Cauldron. There are other things, though, that she does know...Hee! But I won't say what they are.
My utmost thanks, again, for your endlessly wonderful reviews. They truly encourage me. :)
~Julia~
how strange...very interesting...
more. :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks for R&R-ing. I hope you enjoyed it. :) More should be around soon... but no rushing, eh? We want the next chapter to be good, too. :P Hee!
~Julia~
Response from togspled (Reviewer)
i want to say rush, but i know you're right. take it slow. make it good. (as i know you will.)thank u!
Really nice chapter. I love the way Fabian is having a positive effect on her ... he's good for her.Your writing is getting more and more fluid ... keep it up!And ... can't wait to find out who her parents are! More ... and SOON!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you, as always, for your lovely comments. This was one of my more ... eloquent chapters, I suppose you could say, hee! Just kidding... but, really, I'm grateful to you for your kind words.
I, too, am glad that Riana now has Fabian. He's not perfect, but I love him to death. :)
And... I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer to truly know who Riana's parents are. *pulls face* There are aspects of her history that I wouldn't want an eleven-year-old to know. So, years must pass until she finds out the Truth. *giggles and points at the capital T*
Anyway, thanks so much for your comment and I'm going to go and read/review the newest chapter in "Where My Future Lies." :)
~Julia~
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
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Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
swoons and faints*. YEARS??? We have to wait for YEARS until we find out the Truth (capital T!)???Cruel! Intriguing, though! :) Gosh ... and I thought I was cruel for stringing things along!Gotta go read your new chappie now!BTW: I was slightly incorrect about the inventor of the entrail-expelling curse. It was Urquhart Rackharrow, chapter 22 of OotP.
riana and fabian are so cute together! this mystery about her parents is fascinating. (and i can't wait to see what fabian thinks is 'real fun')
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much for your review. :) I'm so glad that you are enjoying Riana and Fabian's time together.
The mystery, yes... that will all be revealed in good time. I'm so glad you're intrigued; your enthusiasm truly encourages me.
Fabian... well, not this next chapter, but the one after that... that will show a bit of Fabian's definition of 'real' fun. :P Not all... but then, Riana's not a werecat either. Thus, she wouldn't be able to accompany him on his nighttime jaunts, more's the pity. :(
Thank you again, though, for your lovely review. I love getting them.
~Julia~
Wonderful! Well written, as always, and Padma Patil is a most welcome addition!There is only one thing I would like to point out, and it is not something you could be exptected to know if you haven't been to Britain. I live in Ireland, lived in England for two years, and make many trips to London/Scotland. Biscuits with gravy (especially the white kind) are an entirely American phenomenon, and would never be found in any pubs/restaurants/diners in Europe. They simply don't exist here. Gravy here is runny and brown, made from meat stock, and biscuits here are what you refer to as cookies.I went to the U.S for the first time in January, and came across 'biscuits with gravy' ... and was very puzzled indeed! There are so many differences between our cultures and U.K/U.S English ... it's quite mind-boggling!Okay ... rambling finished now! Anyway, as I said, I thoroughly enjoyed that chapter, and look forward to the next! Well done! :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you for your lovely comments and also for your con. crit. Those comments really help me, I wish I could get more of them, hee! But I will change it right away!
I had no idea that "biscuits" weren't available with (American) gravy. *gasp* It seems to be a main staple on restaurant/cafe' menus here in America.
Again, thank you ever so much for R&R-ing as well as for the correction. :)
~Julia~
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
You're very welcome! If I had to write a fic set in the U.S, I would be completely lost as regards many things, such as food.I see so many Americanisms creeping into HP fics. A very common one is 'pinkie' ... a word never used here. We simply call it a 'little finger'.Having said that, my beta (who is American) is forever finding Irishisms in my work. Even between England and Ireland there are so many differences in phrases and sayings.Can't what for chapter 12!
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
Can't what for chapter 12!!!???Can't wait for chapter 12, obviously! ;)
i love your descriptions of the books! ~~Or so she thought…~~ that has me interested indeed...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks very much,
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
! :) It really encourages me that you like the story and find it intriguing. I enjoyed writing the descriptions of the books very much.
And you shall see ... what "~~Or so she thought...~~" meant. Oh, yes ... you shall certainly see. :)
~Julia~
Well done, well written and you obviously have done your homework with all those books ... lots from Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them etc ... I'm looking forward to her meeting students and getting some dialogue going!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Why thank you, :). Yes, if there's one thing I can do ... it's my homework. *grimaces slightly* Although homework for HP is much better than homework for ... anything else. :)
There will be plenty of dialogue in the following chapters, however there is so much background to cover that the first chapters are rather limited in dialogue. Never fear! There are great things to come.
Thanks so much for R&R-ing.
~Julia~
great intro to diagon alley!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much. I love writing about Gringotts because it is such an amazing place! Me and my "dusty balustrades," *sigh*
Hee! Thanks again for R&R-ing.
~Julia~
Another good chapter :) Am getting imaptient for her to meet some witches/wizards now, though!Keep up the good work!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you for your review. I assume you've just started reading the story? :)
And there will soon be contact with witches and wizards, hee! :) Chapter after next, I believe...
Again, thanks so much for your review--it was very encouraging!
~Julia~
riana's anorexia seems to be getting worse, poor girl. it'll be interesting to see how that affects her at Hogwarts.
I never would have thought old Tom could make a smoothie! haha...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Well, thank you, :). Personally, that wasn't my favorite chappie, however, I'm glad that you are still sensing Riana's conflict.
Tom is very talented, hee! The only problem is that he doesn't want anybody to see that, *shiftily looks left and right*
Thank you so much for R&Ring.
~Julia~
This is such an interesting story. I'm so glad to have discovered it! Looking forward to your next update!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much! :) I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story. I didn't want it to be run-of-the-mill, which has caused a smidge of trouble when getting it validated on other sites! Hee! (Something about 'delicate issues...') :P
However, I'm very glad that you have found my story and the next chapter is in queue, so it should be up soon.
~Julia~
What a very different and interesting story! I'm so glad you reviewed mine, or I might not have discovered this!Well written and intriguing ... reading on now!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, thank you so much! I'm so glad I reviewed yours, too, or I might not have ever found it! (That's slightly confusing, but you get the picture, hee!)
Thank you, again, for your kind comments.
~Julia~
Nice start, i like it, please continue soon!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much for your review! It encourages me ever so much that you like my story! :)
The next chapter is in queue, so it should be up soon.
~Julia~
And ... I'm so looking forward to her upcoming journey to Hogwarts!!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, thank you very much! I'm sorry that it was such a short chapter, but I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! :)
~Julia~
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Short chapters are nice ... and sometimes they are essential. As in this case; it was a pivotal point. Now, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!
omg...parseltongue. riana is a very complex character! (and definitely a true slytherin?) great job
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much! I'm so glad you find her interesting. The last thing in the world that I wanted to do was create a "Mary Sue." :) Considering, however, that she's her own person, that wasn't too difficult at all! Thanks for R & R - ing ... I really appreciate it!
~Julia~
Yes, Riana will definitely be sorted into Slytherin. You captured Leanne's feelings very well. Being a mom myself I could feel her desperation. You really have a way of capturing feelings in your writing. I am enjoying this story and looking forward to more!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Hehe, how'd you guess? I'm kidding... yes, I did want her to be in Slytherin. We always hear such bad things about the Slytherins and I wanted to look at the whole "magic" situation from a 'Snake's' position. :)
Thank you very much for your kind review!
~Julia~
Yes, I should be assigned detention with Professor Snape for not reviewing until now. You really have created suspense with this chapter. I loved the detail, her search for the key. It reminded me of similar personal pursuits. But the end, with her mom coming into the kitchen and her trying to look normal, like she wasn't up to anything... well, I could feel my heart thumping in my chest as if I were a teenager again and was definitely up to something. Well done!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Wow. What great praise! :) Thanks very much for your kindness. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. And it's fine that you haven't reviewed 'till now... you've read them, at least. :)
Again, thanks very, very much!
~Julia~
oh i just love it when u post another chapter!
the story is coming along so very nicely. keep it up!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks very much for R&R-ing. *smiles*
I'm so glad you like the story. :) Also, Riana will soon get to Hogwarts, just stick with her, please. The story is taking its own precious time, but I think it will turn out all right ... at least I hope so, hee! :)
~Julia~
Ooooh! Urquhart! Wasn't he that entrail-expelling curse chappie?And yay! His Mum's Irish. Gosh, it looks like this is going to be a seriously long story! Any idea how many chapters?Enjoying ... as always! 
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Hmm.. not sure about the "entrail-expelling" but he was the captain of Slytherin Quidditch team at one point. :)
I love Favel (plus her name is so fun!) She was a pleasure to write, even though she is a very minor character ... at this point. Hee!
About the length, hmm, well... I really don't know how long it's going to be. *laughs uneasily* I was going to try and make it 30 chapters, however, the length of some of the chapters is so short. I simply ended where I felt a cliffhanger would do well. They just happened. I'm sure you know what I mean. :)
Now, though, I'm thinking that I may do volumes of Riana's life. You know, Serpent in the Moonlight: Volume One. This one details her first year. Serpent in the Moonlight: Volume Two... and so on and so forth. A bit like the HP books, but not. There's just so much information about her that I want to share and she can't discover everything in her first year ... that much knowledge would kill her, poor thing. :( Honestly, I have some ghastly stuff planned for her in the future. I'm so mean. Hee! *snickers evilly*
Anyway, that was a really long post. *sigh* I should have just said "Thank You," except that I love getting your reviews and your feedback. Talking to much again... must go. Thanks so much!
~Julia~
so there's still pureblood-mania so long after the HP events? that's intriguing. i'm eager to learn the missing history there. fabian's character is getting more and more complex...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, as long as there are purebloods, there will be pureblood mania. :) I'm glad you are intrigued by Fabian's character ... the last thing in the world I wanted to do was make him "flat." *cough Ron & Hermione cough cough* Hee! Just kidding... only in canon, not in fanon. :D
I love getting your reviews! :) Thanks so very, very much.
~Julia~
great byplay between riana and fabian. he seems like he'll be good for her with his friendly nature and everything. if only he could convince her to eat a licorice wand...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I do plan to continue Fabian as a foil to Riana ... if only he could get her to eat that Licorice Wand, hee! :)
~Julia~