A First Glimpse of Diagon Alley
Chapter 8 of 20
Celestial MelodyRiana enters Diagon Alley...
ReviewedA First Glimpse of Diagon Alley
Riana woke early, before the sun had risen. She yawned and stretched, grimacing in pain as each ridged backbone cracked, creakily complaining the ill treatment she bestowed upon it. She gazed, bleary-eyed, around the room with a sort of detached interest, and then remembered that she was in room number eight, in a pub called the Leaky Cauldron. Riana leapt from her bed and darted to the cracked, yellow mirror for her customary body-examination.
She pulled off her black shirt and counted each rib. A muscle at the edge of her proud mouth twitched as her ribs stuck out even more prominently than the day before. Just goes to show, Riana smirked with satisfaction, that going without meals pays off.
After the examination was over, Riana turned away from the mirror. However, she then spun suddenly back, noticing with distaste that she was wearing the same clothing she had been sporting yesterday. With a quick derisive look toward herself in the mirror, Riana walked to one of her suitcases and in a single fluid motion, picked it up and slung it on the bed, unzipping it and flinging the top open. Rifling through the topsy-turvy contents, she spotted the hem of an embroidered black linen peasant top and pulled. Everyone here was dressed so oddly, almost with a medieval flair, and the least she could do would be to try and match that style. Riana certainly didn’t want to stand out unnecessarily.
*
Walking down the dusty, wood-paneled hall, Riana was satisfied to hear that she was one of the only occupants awake. The rest were all still snoring, including the person who had talked during their sleep in room number three.
Riana reached the long rickety staircase and descended, one hand holding up her ankle-length, black skirt, the other clenching her list of school supplies. Her slender, boot-clad feet reached carefully, toe-heel, toe-heel, down to the subsequent step. Upon reaching the bottom, she dropped both hands and held them, with the letter clamped securely between the two, clasped in front of her, gazing around the pub's common room.
Tom was awake and wiping down the large wooden tables with a grey rag—He didn’t look at her as she skulked across the room and sat down at the bar. He continued wiping the table, over and over; Riana simply waited for him. As the minutes ticked by, and he still didn’t return to the bar to wait on her, she cleared her throat primly and he glanced up, surprised.
Reluctantly, he draped the rag over his shoulder and stumped to the bar. “Yes? What is it you’re wanting? I haven’t got all day. Come, come, speak up.”
Riana thought him very rude to speak to her this way, but didn’t make any comments as he deserved none. And, that principled little voice whispered, he was quite kind to you yesterday … even though he didn’t have to be.
Shut up! Riana vehemently screamed at the little voice in her head. It did, amazingly enough. Confident in successfully squashing it, she turned her scathing, condescending attention on old Tom.
“Yes, I’d like a fruit smoothie, if you please … and could—“ She broke off as Tom turned his back and slouched out of the bar, entering a door to the left it. He emerged seconds later, arms laden down with fruit and threw it all in an undignified heap in the grimy sink behind the bar. He then began to search through the hodge-podge of peeling-paint cabinets until he found the archaic and rusty blender he was searching for. Tom tugged halfheartedly at the appliance and, when it failed to give, took a deep breath, gave a bodily pull and yanked the blender out of the voracious cabinet.
“Excuse me,” Riana spoke again, with a trace of annoyance in her cool voice, “can you tell me how I'm supposed to get to d-Diagon Alley after you finish that?” she questioned, indicating the fruit that Tom was now chopping speedily.
He looked up at her, continuing to chop. If he isn’t careful, Riana half-thought in a detached manner, he’ll chop off one of his fingers.
But Tom did not chop off any of his fingers, and looking Riana up and down as if sizing her up, he gave a curt nod and returned his gaze to the chopping board, his knife traveling (if it was possible) even faster through the luscious-looking fruit.
*
Some thirty minutes later, Riana sat at the bar, finishing the last of her smoothie and watching the new arrivals emerging from the sleeping quarters upstairs. It was still early in the morning yet several more people had begun, by this time, to wake up, and as each came slowly down the stairs, rubbing their sleepy eyes, all turned right and headed to a doorway underneath the steps that, Tom explained upon seeing Riana's curious gaze, led to the dining room.
The people—and not all of them were human, Riana noticed. One looked suspiciously like one of the short and stumpy dwarves that graced her fantasy books in her old world—were dressed in the same sort of odd clothing Riana had noticed on the Knight Bus. Many wore hats, and most sported long, flowing robes in varying shades of the color spectrum. One, a plump witch with a very large, beaky nose and a piquant, bow-shaped mouth, was wearing robes that shimmered and changed color, varying between a tangerine orange and a very ugly, lurid yellow.
*
Riana finished the last few drops of her smoothie. Guiltily, she admitted that she’d forgotten how good food could taste, but quickly berated herself for that momentary pathetic lapse. Her forehead creased as she wondered how she could possibly be so weak, and then, to take her mind off her own problems, she sliced a glance toward Tom’s turned back. He was doing something, she couldn't quite tell what, at the sink. Whatever it was, though, it wasn't washing dishes as the mammoth pile of dirty goblets, bowls, and plates on the counter seemed to grow rather than shrink. Sighing deeply, she arched an eyebrow and set her glass down with a resounding clunk. Tom swept it up without looking at her and began washing it out in the less-than-clean sink. Riana shrugged her tiny shoulders, sent another piercing stare toward his back and “Harrumphed!” loudly. This caught his attention and he finally turned around.
“Excuse me,” she said, for the second time that morning. Honestly, it’s like talking to a brick wall, Riana thought uncharitably, but continued with her question. “Can you show me how to get to Diagon Alley now? Please?” The afterthought slipped out of her mouth and really couldn’t be categorized as an afterthought—but when had Riana ever said, “Please,” without thinking about it first?
Tom smiled an old, crotchety, toothless smile and gestured with his left hand before shuffling off. Slipping off her bar stool, Riana followed in the direction that Tom was moving. He passed through a doorway and into a cloak room, then opened another door leading to a backyard full of rubbish bins, varying in stages of fullness, and walked up to a high brick wall.
He pulled a stick from his pocket—No, not a stick, Riana thought, a wand—and tapped the bricks in a pattern. Three up, Riana memorized, two across. She’d always been a keen observer. People who are outwardly silent are often more watchful than the odd individual. They listen, they watch, and they don't easily forget. Oh, and they make the best eavesdroppers.
Leaning forward, Riana watched closely, and the bricks began to move. She stepped closer, entranced, as the red bricks shifted aside to form a doorway through which she could see … Diagon Alley!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Serpent in the Moonlight
33 Reviews | 7.45/10 Average
It was all incredibly well-written. So does Riana get help to deal with her anorexia? Did you adopt the plot in another more well-read FF because we readers here aren't doing your authoring justice in reviewing? I think it's just that the traffic isn't high, but it will come! Is the completed FF posted in another HP portal?
Love your pace. And the OCs. Too bad I wouldn't have come across this story if not for the random FF spinner.
I have been reading your story avidly since the beginning. Good work, though I wish the girl would eat!
Wow ... a much longer chapter! I have about thirty seconds to review, so I'll just say that that was great, and I can't wait till they get to Hogwarts. I'm glad Fabian will be looking out for her!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, I know ... it was very long. I'm not too fond of it, actually, so I'm going to rewrite it and then resubmit it. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. Your reviews, as always, truly encourage me! :-)I, too, cannot WAIT until they get to Hogwarts ... it's been too long. :-PThanks again!~Julia~
Ooh ... what an unusual idea! I'm looking forward to finding out exactly what happened in that chapter. Does Leanne know that Riana is at the Leaky Cauldron now?I thoroughly enjoyed your writing in that chapter, particularly this : "Carefully ignoring the prone figure frozen on the bed, Riana’s evading gaze hurriedly glanced at the floor where the broken glass from the photograph mixed with the fibers of pink carpet, creating a sparkling mélange of color as it was touched by the pinpricks of moonlight from the room’s open windows."Really lovely. Well done! :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks for your complimentary review, :). I'm so pleased that you are still enjoying the story.
I'm so glad, too, that you liked the idea for this chapter--it has been the one that most people have complaints against. Some feel it's too vague, others don't understand the point. However, rest assured that there is, indeed, significance in that blue book with the bronze writing. Hee!
I believe that the way in which I wrote it explains why most people find a hard time enjoying it, :-S. This chapter was very similar to my one-shot, "The Ultimate Trust" in that it was very image-oriented and had less of a storyline. Most people don't like that. But I'm thrilled that you tapped into that. Kudos to you for being observant! :P
And about Leanne, yes, she knows that Riana is alive, anyway. But she doesn't know--and I believe I can tell you this without ruining anything--that Riana is at the Leaky Cauldron. There are other things, though, that she does know...Hee! But I won't say what they are.
My utmost thanks, again, for your endlessly wonderful reviews. They truly encourage me. :)
~Julia~
how strange...very interesting...
more. :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks for R&R-ing. I hope you enjoyed it. :) More should be around soon... but no rushing, eh? We want the next chapter to be good, too. :P Hee!
~Julia~
Response from togspled (Reviewer)
i want to say rush, but i know you're right. take it slow. make it good. (as i know you will.)thank u!
Really nice chapter. I love the way Fabian is having a positive effect on her ... he's good for her.Your writing is getting more and more fluid ... keep it up!And ... can't wait to find out who her parents are! More ... and SOON!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you, as always, for your lovely comments. This was one of my more ... eloquent chapters, I suppose you could say, hee! Just kidding... but, really, I'm grateful to you for your kind words.
I, too, am glad that Riana now has Fabian. He's not perfect, but I love him to death. :)
And... I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer to truly know who Riana's parents are. *pulls face* There are aspects of her history that I wouldn't want an eleven-year-old to know. So, years must pass until she finds out the Truth. *giggles and points at the capital T*
Anyway, thanks so much for your comment and I'm going to go and read/review the newest chapter in "Where My Future Lies." :)
~Julia~
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
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Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
swoons and faints*. YEARS??? We have to wait for YEARS until we find out the Truth (capital T!)???Cruel! Intriguing, though! :) Gosh ... and I thought I was cruel for stringing things along!Gotta go read your new chappie now!BTW: I was slightly incorrect about the inventor of the entrail-expelling curse. It was Urquhart Rackharrow, chapter 22 of OotP.
riana and fabian are so cute together! this mystery about her parents is fascinating. (and i can't wait to see what fabian thinks is 'real fun')
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much for your review. :) I'm so glad that you are enjoying Riana and Fabian's time together.
The mystery, yes... that will all be revealed in good time. I'm so glad you're intrigued; your enthusiasm truly encourages me.
Fabian... well, not this next chapter, but the one after that... that will show a bit of Fabian's definition of 'real' fun. :P Not all... but then, Riana's not a werecat either. Thus, she wouldn't be able to accompany him on his nighttime jaunts, more's the pity. :(
Thank you again, though, for your lovely review. I love getting them.
~Julia~
Wonderful! Well written, as always, and Padma Patil is a most welcome addition!There is only one thing I would like to point out, and it is not something you could be exptected to know if you haven't been to Britain. I live in Ireland, lived in England for two years, and make many trips to London/Scotland. Biscuits with gravy (especially the white kind) are an entirely American phenomenon, and would never be found in any pubs/restaurants/diners in Europe. They simply don't exist here. Gravy here is runny and brown, made from meat stock, and biscuits here are what you refer to as cookies.I went to the U.S for the first time in January, and came across 'biscuits with gravy' ... and was very puzzled indeed! There are so many differences between our cultures and U.K/U.S English ... it's quite mind-boggling!Okay ... rambling finished now! Anyway, as I said, I thoroughly enjoyed that chapter, and look forward to the next! Well done! :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you for your lovely comments and also for your con. crit. Those comments really help me, I wish I could get more of them, hee! But I will change it right away!
I had no idea that "biscuits" weren't available with (American) gravy. *gasp* It seems to be a main staple on restaurant/cafe' menus here in America.
Again, thank you ever so much for R&R-ing as well as for the correction. :)
~Julia~
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
You're very welcome! If I had to write a fic set in the U.S, I would be completely lost as regards many things, such as food.I see so many Americanisms creeping into HP fics. A very common one is 'pinkie' ... a word never used here. We simply call it a 'little finger'.Having said that, my beta (who is American) is forever finding Irishisms in my work. Even between England and Ireland there are so many differences in phrases and sayings.Can't what for chapter 12!
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
Can't what for chapter 12!!!???Can't wait for chapter 12, obviously! ;)
i love your descriptions of the books! ~~Or so she thought…~~ that has me interested indeed...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks very much,
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
! :) It really encourages me that you like the story and find it intriguing. I enjoyed writing the descriptions of the books very much.
And you shall see ... what "~~Or so she thought...~~" meant. Oh, yes ... you shall certainly see. :)
~Julia~
Well done, well written and you obviously have done your homework with all those books ... lots from Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them etc ... I'm looking forward to her meeting students and getting some dialogue going!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Why thank you, :). Yes, if there's one thing I can do ... it's my homework. *grimaces slightly* Although homework for HP is much better than homework for ... anything else. :)
There will be plenty of dialogue in the following chapters, however there is so much background to cover that the first chapters are rather limited in dialogue. Never fear! There are great things to come.
Thanks so much for R&R-ing.
~Julia~
great intro to diagon alley!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much. I love writing about Gringotts because it is such an amazing place! Me and my "dusty balustrades," *sigh*
Hee! Thanks again for R&R-ing.
~Julia~
Another good chapter :) Am getting imaptient for her to meet some witches/wizards now, though!Keep up the good work!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you for your review. I assume you've just started reading the story? :)
And there will soon be contact with witches and wizards, hee! :) Chapter after next, I believe...
Again, thanks so much for your review--it was very encouraging!
~Julia~
riana's anorexia seems to be getting worse, poor girl. it'll be interesting to see how that affects her at Hogwarts.
I never would have thought old Tom could make a smoothie! haha...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Well, thank you, :). Personally, that wasn't my favorite chappie, however, I'm glad that you are still sensing Riana's conflict.
Tom is very talented, hee! The only problem is that he doesn't want anybody to see that, *shiftily looks left and right*
Thank you so much for R&Ring.
~Julia~
This is such an interesting story. I'm so glad to have discovered it! Looking forward to your next update!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much! :) I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story. I didn't want it to be run-of-the-mill, which has caused a smidge of trouble when getting it validated on other sites! Hee! (Something about 'delicate issues...') :P
However, I'm very glad that you have found my story and the next chapter is in queue, so it should be up soon.
~Julia~
What a very different and interesting story! I'm so glad you reviewed mine, or I might not have discovered this!Well written and intriguing ... reading on now!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, thank you so much! I'm so glad I reviewed yours, too, or I might not have ever found it! (That's slightly confusing, but you get the picture, hee!)
Thank you, again, for your kind comments.
~Julia~
Nice start, i like it, please continue soon!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much for your review! It encourages me ever so much that you like my story! :)
The next chapter is in queue, so it should be up soon.
~Julia~
And ... I'm so looking forward to her upcoming journey to Hogwarts!!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, thank you very much! I'm sorry that it was such a short chapter, but I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! :)
~Julia~
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Short chapters are nice ... and sometimes they are essential. As in this case; it was a pivotal point. Now, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!
omg...parseltongue. riana is a very complex character! (and definitely a true slytherin?) great job
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much! I'm so glad you find her interesting. The last thing in the world that I wanted to do was create a "Mary Sue." :) Considering, however, that she's her own person, that wasn't too difficult at all! Thanks for R & R - ing ... I really appreciate it!
~Julia~
Yes, Riana will definitely be sorted into Slytherin. You captured Leanne's feelings very well. Being a mom myself I could feel her desperation. You really have a way of capturing feelings in your writing. I am enjoying this story and looking forward to more!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Hehe, how'd you guess? I'm kidding... yes, I did want her to be in Slytherin. We always hear such bad things about the Slytherins and I wanted to look at the whole "magic" situation from a 'Snake's' position. :)
Thank you very much for your kind review!
~Julia~
Yes, I should be assigned detention with Professor Snape for not reviewing until now. You really have created suspense with this chapter. I loved the detail, her search for the key. It reminded me of similar personal pursuits. But the end, with her mom coming into the kitchen and her trying to look normal, like she wasn't up to anything... well, I could feel my heart thumping in my chest as if I were a teenager again and was definitely up to something. Well done!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Wow. What great praise! :) Thanks very much for your kindness. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. And it's fine that you haven't reviewed 'till now... you've read them, at least. :)
Again, thanks very, very much!
~Julia~
oh i just love it when u post another chapter!
the story is coming along so very nicely. keep it up!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks very much for R&R-ing. *smiles*
I'm so glad you like the story. :) Also, Riana will soon get to Hogwarts, just stick with her, please. The story is taking its own precious time, but I think it will turn out all right ... at least I hope so, hee! :)
~Julia~
Ooooh! Urquhart! Wasn't he that entrail-expelling curse chappie?And yay! His Mum's Irish. Gosh, it looks like this is going to be a seriously long story! Any idea how many chapters?Enjoying ... as always! 
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Hmm.. not sure about the "entrail-expelling" but he was the captain of Slytherin Quidditch team at one point. :)
I love Favel (plus her name is so fun!) She was a pleasure to write, even though she is a very minor character ... at this point. Hee!
About the length, hmm, well... I really don't know how long it's going to be. *laughs uneasily* I was going to try and make it 30 chapters, however, the length of some of the chapters is so short. I simply ended where I felt a cliffhanger would do well. They just happened. I'm sure you know what I mean. :)
Now, though, I'm thinking that I may do volumes of Riana's life. You know, Serpent in the Moonlight: Volume One. This one details her first year. Serpent in the Moonlight: Volume Two... and so on and so forth. A bit like the HP books, but not. There's just so much information about her that I want to share and she can't discover everything in her first year ... that much knowledge would kill her, poor thing. :( Honestly, I have some ghastly stuff planned for her in the future. I'm so mean. Hee! *snickers evilly*
Anyway, that was a really long post. *sigh* I should have just said "Thank You," except that I love getting your reviews and your feedback. Talking to much again... must go. Thanks so much!
~Julia~
so there's still pureblood-mania so long after the HP events? that's intriguing. i'm eager to learn the missing history there. fabian's character is getting more and more complex...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, as long as there are purebloods, there will be pureblood mania. :) I'm glad you are intrigued by Fabian's character ... the last thing in the world I wanted to do was make him "flat." *cough Ron & Hermione cough cough* Hee! Just kidding... only in canon, not in fanon. :D
I love getting your reviews! :) Thanks so very, very much.
~Julia~
great byplay between riana and fabian. he seems like he'll be good for her with his friendly nature and everything. if only he could convince her to eat a licorice wand...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I do plan to continue Fabian as a foil to Riana ... if only he could get her to eat that Licorice Wand, hee! :)
~Julia~