Appreciate the comments.  The story does try to portray a character with a different point of view.One possibility is that the Malfoys and Durmstrang have been misrepresented in canon.  This is the Malfoys at home.  And it is the Malfoys without Lucius.  After all, Draco is a better scholar than Harry and a better athlete than Hermione.  His father is disappointed in him, but his mother supports him.  Is Hermann an aristocrat, an artificial personality?

Hope you enjoy the tale.  It is the first story I wrote, and for some reason, I decided to break all the rules: no first person narrative, non-chronological chapters, no transfer students at Hogwarts, no one is as smart as Hermione.  Our character is a stranger in a strange land.

Mild autism or cultural differences or socially awkward scientist or forty-year-old women versus sixteen-year-old girls?

ffmf?  He keeps thinking the fmf is going to get him killed.

Don't know if there is a difference in writing styles or not since I am too close to the material.  The first half has more varied interactions with the girls although I remember the second-half scenes with Pansy and Li Shan.

Thanks.  Yes, the first chapter tries to present some of his character and dilemma while at Hogwarts. 

Thanks.  I tried for a zen no-style, but I don't think I accomplished it.

Are you kidding? You are undoubtedly the master of this style =)

Thanks.  This was the second story I wrote, and I tried pushing the boundaries by breaking all the rules and conventions, which makes it difficult to read.  For various reasons, Hermann is an outsider and morally conflicted.

Once you get past the confronting writing style, you really start to love it! I'm surprised more readers aren't obsessed with your work =)

Glad you enjoyed it.  Thank you for the kind comments.

Thank you for reviewing.  Hermann does not take Hogwarts at face value. The change in point of view was probably not necessary, since most readers could guess what she was thinking, but I’m preparing the reader for some really jarring changes that occur later.

Thank you for a perceptive review.  I tried to write a subtle, growing relationship that neither was consciously aware of.

I appreciate your remarks about the stilted conversation, and I’m glad you found the prologue and first scene intriguing.  Thanks for the review. Regarding point of view, I originally had one point of view, but initial readers wanted the views of other characters in some scenes.  I resisted at first, but then decided to approach the changing points of view as a writing challenge.  The site editors questioned me about it, but decided to allow it since I knew I was doing it and regarded it as a writing challenge.  I realize that, no matter how well it is done, it will bother some readers.  In chapter 1, I could have used the artifice of Hermann overhearing the conversation, but I decided to ease the reader into the fact that the story was going to do this.  In some later scenes, the abrupt change creates an effect would be impossible to achieve by other means.  If it helps, I regard fan fiction as an experimental arena.  If I’m successful, you will find things in ‘Hermann’ that you will not find anywhere else.

Okay, the chapter kept you anchored and you rode it through to the bitter end.  Thanks for the review

Or … we can invert it and say that the canon character, remaining in canon, can approach him only through his flaws.

And, I must add that I am in awe at how thoroughly you have thought through JKR's story, your story and its character.  I have to admit, it's more than many do, including myself.

Thanks — continued interest by an accomplished writer means a lot.  If you like Eliot, there is a parody of ‘Wasteland’ near the end of chapter 8.  Part of it is the chapter summary.  I hope it’s not carrying on too much to say that there’s one of e. e. cummings (Buffalo Bill) with Luna at self-defense practice in the desolate field.

Thank you very much for a great review.  I hope you find the rest of the story as interesting.

Glad to be entertaining.  The next several chapters are calmer.  The plot requires the introduction of a major canon character, and it requires this character remains strictly canon.

The review fits the chapter — Ravenclaws at play.  It’s quite funny you consider writing a sonnet crueler than dismemberment.

I thought I had written the raunchiest scene this side of consensual.  The site editor snickered over it, and you found it titillating.  Tough crowd.

I almost prefaced the chapter with       Tyger, Tyger, burning bright     In the forests of the night  Hermann is not wrong about those two.  I still remember blocking out the vignettes as they occurred to me, arranging and rearranging them on the timeline, and working at getting them to come together.

I appreciate your continued interest.  Yes, you have summed up the points of the chapter: his dealing with his raging emotions, his moral quandary, and his feelings of inadequacy.

Yes, that Slytherin-Ravenclaw mix is the main point of the chapter.  It's not much of a spoiler to say that it's important for the story.Hermann is marginally better with the girls.I notice you can review without giving away the contents.  Very clever.  Is that a Slytherin trait?

Every time I put on that darn hat, it tosses me into Slytherin.  I'm not disappointed.  *wink*

There are many readers who read reviews first, which can be like reading the last page of a novel first if reviewers aren't careful.  I intentionally try not to give away any spoilers. 

I’m glad you liked the chapter, and I thank you for the encouragement.  Later sections, however, may disappoint you.  If I recall correctly, the order of importance for the ancient Greeks was (1) plot, (2) ideas, (3) character, and (4) diction.  I tried a mix.  [Yes.  I read Aristotle’s ‘Poetics,’ became inspired, and wrote a fanfic.]

I am rarely disappointed.  I understand that some chapters may develop plot while others develop character or other things.  I am a patient girl.

I believe you are the only person I've met who got inspired to write fanfic after reading Aristotle.  My goodness.  Maybe it's what makes your writing so interesting to me.  It could be what gives it that unique flavor. 

Thank you for the perceptive review and kind comments.

The story is finished, and everyone who is going to read it has read it.  No reason to worry about spoilers.

Please, tell your friends about the story.  Lucius is available.  Narcissa does not regard setting a large snake on a student body containing her son as good parenting.

Adult Brit wizard society appears weak in the novels—probably to emphasize Harry’s heroism.  Hermann, however, observes Brit wizard society is weak, reasons that Harry is not a social reformer and cannot act beyond society, concludes that Harry will be ineffective or detrimental, and decides to take independent action.

Canon Hermione spouts canon.  Since Hermann believes canon is nonsense, he thinks she’s a nutter, and Hermione is left a lonely swot.  

My regards to The Petulant Poetess, the only fan fiction site with the courage and tolerance to publish ‘The Hermann Chronicles.’

And you are more than welcome here. I enjoyed the uniqueness of this story and the uniqueness of your style. Thank you, Fairfield, for posting!!

Thank you for a perceptive and sympathetic review. Most of the characters are original or minor (who may as well be original).  I tried a transformation of Draco.  Instead of reacting to Harry, I gave him an independent existence with a supportive mother, a peer as a friend, Quidditch, Potions, and girlfriends. I tried to keep Hermione in canon.  Her interactions with Hermann are a clash of personalities and cultures.

I noticed your transformation of Draco. I have a friend who would have been angry at your sympathetic portrayal of Narcissa--mostly because she fancies Lucius--but it was quite nice to see more about Draco and less about Harry for once. Don't get me wrong, Harry is still the hero in my eyes, but since JKR's stories are basically told from Harry's perspective, it's refreshing to have Draco as a more complex character.

I think you did a good job of keeping Hermione in canon. You made her a swot, had a little competition going (completely believable) and also showed her as being quite logical.

I'm sorry to see the story end, but you're probably right to conclude it the way you have with the next chapter.

--Janis 

They are quite useful if you’re as capable as Janice Nott … of course you are … just mentioning it. Thanks for the review.