A lot of credit goes to the beta and other initial readers who pointed out numerous lapses.  It took me a while to realize how valuable they had been.Hermann is alone because deep down, where he cannot admit it until he writes the prologue, he knows he has betrayed everyone who trusted him and treated him well.Your excellent reviews have me admitting that I did once write an epilogue where the Middle European assault teams hit the Death Eater cells.  They fatally crippled the Death Eaters, but a number of innocents, Order of the Pheonix, and Aurors were caught in the cross-fire.  The Death Eaters then struck back like a wounded animal.  I now like to think that in Middle Europe, cooler heads prevailed and they left Brit wizardry to work out its own problems.

You’ve identified the critical places in the chapter: the scene with Pansy where it’s no longer a game and he has blood on his hands, the scene with Shan Li where his treachery costs him everything, and the analysis which is his despair intellectualized.  Canon is Gryffindor-Slytherin; this story is Ravenclaw-Slytherin.  I was starting to think that no one would be able to review this chapter.  Thanks for the boost.

This was my favourite chapter of the story for the main reasons that you mentioned. Also, the work you and the betas put in is evident. It's nice to see some clever writing on this site =)

‘Brilliant witches.’  There’s not many of them, but there’s a selection process.  What families would be interested in an exchange student?  Who would be attracted to Draco and Hermann? ‘Get real.’  My acquaintances became hysterical when they learned what I was going to write since the societies with such practices are abhorrent to them.  The story stands this on its head.  Even with Draco, it’s the witches that come through.  Thanks for the review.

Misunderstanding, uncertainty, and confusion abound--both ways.  I'm glad you think it was a realistic chapter.  The final lament by Shan should be familiar to any girl who's been involved with a geek.  Thanks for the review.

The longest arguments I had with readers of the first draft were about the class differences.  They kept telling me Narcissa wasn’t acting like a lady.  I kept saying Narcissa Black Malfoy is not a refined version of Molly Weasley. The e. e. cummings poem was difficult.  It has a subtle rhythm that I never quite matched. It struck me as appropriate that house-elves have a primitive streak.  

I kept hearing that erotica was difficult to write and decided to try it.  Could it be interesting and advance the plot and character development?  Chapter 14 adds another element.  Is it possible to take themes that squick out readers and turn these themes into beautiful scenes? Thank you for the kind review.

Yes, it’s Hermann and the tigresses, and now a lioness.  Hermione?  Don’t tell me you were attracted to the analysis.  We can’t expect much to happen.  A school kid causing significant damage to Voldemort or the Death Eaters would be a Mary Sue.

Good call.  The first twelve chapters were introduction and development.  Now things can happen.  Like a well-tended potion?  Ah, the slings and arrows of outrageous reviews.

A perceptive review.  Perceptive enough that any comment would reveal too much.  Erotica is tricky.  I’m competing against sites that specialize in smutlets — smutlets written to order.  Is there anything that hasn’t been described?

Pleasantly surprised by the review.  The original beta, a magazine editor, liked the chapter.  My conjecture was she liked the pairing of fellow professionals.

Great.  Glad you think that about the first chapter.  It takes a while for the story to gather momentum.

Thank you for your kind comments and your patience with the story.  A disadvantage of original characters is they require more background.  There are times when I envy the Severus-Hermione writers.  A reader of an early version of the story was bothered by Hermann’s inconsistencies until she realized that Hermann was a (chemistry) geek.  Those, she was familiar with.

Thanks.  A non linear narrative is one of the conventions of fan fiction I'm breaking.  We'll have to see if the extra effort is worth the way it lets events unfold.

The language is German.  I had a great time perusing the web sites that told me how to swear and insult people in German.  'Tell your mother that I will pay her tomorrow" was a good one.The first chapter occurs in the middle of the story.  The reader should have questions about what is going on.  Why is he at Hogwarts?  Why is he friends with Draco?  Are Hermione's suspicions justified?

I forgot to mention in the original response that you write poetry.  I'm interested in your reaction when it appears in 'Hermann.'

Thank you for a perceptive review.  I would like to comment more, but I don't want to ruin the small amount of narrative tension I've managed to create.

A-ha!  You don't have to comment even more.  I think I'm looking forward even more now to the next chapter.     

Thanks for giving it a try.The reader is supposed to be puzzled at this point in the story.  The tale begins 1 July, and the first scene is 1 September.  The first scene occurs in the middle of the tale.  Does the reader want to know why he is at Hogwarts, why he knows Draco, and what will happen with Ginny and Hermione?The prologue was intended to be quaint and stilted until the final phrase.  The dialogue was intended to be stilted becuase Hermann is a foreigner, he is shy with girls, and he is caught between two warring factions.Can I write smooth (or even better, realistic) dialogue as events progress?  We will have to see.

He has visited a strange, new world - one full of conflict, possibilities, and a wide range of people reacting to him - one that might be quite different from the family and student life he previously led.  Draco became acquainted with him as part of his warm family life, and this relationship extended into the school year.  He may have had more of an impact on the witches than he realizes.Thank you for all the kind reviews and insightful comments.

As before, the credit goes to Janice Nott who is responding wholeheartedly to her competent wizard with a violent streak.  She has the intelligence and flexiblity to participate in what he brings from Durmstrang: potion recipes, tribal dances, and sex charms.

A thought provoking review.An unfortunate event.  It didn't have to happen, but given the circumstances, it was likely to happen.He overreached, hubris.  The tragedy is internal.  He is grief stricken.  He has turned the Clearwaters into traitors and placed them in danger.  He has detroyed his relationships.  He has gloomy thoughts.The text tries to foreshadow this.  There is his violent streak: broom clashes with Vincent and Gregory, kata, the duel in the hallway.  Only the Notts appear to notice it.  There is his treachory: the affairs, acting friendly with Hermione.  Only the Weasleys notice this when he appears with Percy's girlfriend.Will his activities be revealed?  There may be too much misperception of him.  The Hufflepuffs and the Gryffindors believe he is a Death Eater wannabe.  The Slytherins and Ravenclaws believe he is a secret Slytherin misplaced by the hat.  Luna, Shan, and Dumbledore have guessed what he has done, but Shan dissaproves because of the bloodshed, not because he has acted against the Death Eaters, and Dumbledore and Luna have engaged in fights themselves.But the damage is done, and ultimately, when he leaves England, he will leave for good.   

Thank you very much.  From a literary point of view, there may be too much erotica, but its purpose was to illustrate the full range of their relationship.The fable is told in a childish manner which, in some ways, makes it harder to follow, but it was the delivery deemed appropriate to the audience.Your comment about Hermione had me thinking that, to her, Hermann is the Dark Stranger of romance novels, but they are not able to bridge the gap.I did block out the meeting between Mrs. Busch, Mrs. Malfoy, and Mrs Nott.  Given the primitive nature of Brit wizard society, the investment tips would be about real estate.  They would be after a quick turn-around of property that suddenly increased in value because of the development plans of the New Year's guests. 

Obviously, the translated-into-American comment is poking fun at Brit-speak.The pamphlet is another inversion.  One might think it patriarchal, but it is a guide to providing witches with the companionship they crave.  Despite Draco's misgivings about his efforts, the two girls get the message - and they like it.Pansy is a mirror image of Hermione.  Hermann and Shan have not gotten beyond the other's superficial aloofness.Thanks for the review.

Now that you mention it, the chapter begins with class differences causing problems for the students.  It continues with visits to an aristocrat's manor, a middle class burrow, and a yuppie's flat.  I'd like to think that this and other chapters present a deeper view of elves than canon.  The interlude with Penny really tests his tolerance.Of course, I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter.

The competition with Hermione has gotten out of hand, and he has made a big mistake, but this is the move that ties all the threads together.  It has become the analytical versus the heroic.  Yes, Luna and Shan want to watch over him, and one wonders why he isn't paying more attention to them.  Glad you are following the story.

A lot of the credit for this chapter goes to Janice Nott.  She is a warmer person than Narcissa, Severus, or Hermann.  She has the open honesty of a landowner and independent business person who does not depend on the opinions of others.  It's also true that unrecognized romance is having its effect on her.   

Glad you like the way the story is constructed: seemingly unrelated scenes thrown at the reader.  It's for those who enjoy an alternative view of Hogwarts.  Part of the fast pace may be due to its being experimental fic and ignoring the advice given to beginning writers to include lots of description.  The details of furniure, landscape, weather, and how people look are omitted.  The inspiration may be Icelandic Sagas which proceed by dialogue and action with some ancestry mentioned to establish character.There was a man called Hermann Busch.  He was an exchange student from Durmstrang.  His father ...And thank you for the review and kind words.