Malfoy 1
Chapter 2 of 19
FairfieldAt home with the Malfoys
ReviewedChapter 2: 1 July 10:00 AM -- 5 July 5:00 PM Malfoy 1
"Hermann Busch, I presume," he stated as he offered me his hand. "I'm Draco Malfoy. This is my mother."
I greeted them, was shown my rooms, and brought back for morning tea. It was a little after 10 on 1 July.
"Draco can take you on a tour of the house and grounds," offered Mrs. Malfoy.
Draco looked as enthusiastic as I felt about a tour of the house.
"Can we ride our brooms on the grounds?" I asked.
Draco perked up.
"Yes," they both said at once.
"Lunch at one," cried Mrs. Malfoy as we took off ... Draco on his fast-looking steed and I on my serviceable one.
I expected Draco to ride sedately until his mother was out of sight, put on a burst of speed around the lake, do a fast climb and dive, and then take an obstacle course through the woods. I was not disappointed. What my broom lacked in speed, it gained in maneuverability. I came out of the woods just behind Draco. The look on his face told me I had been accepted.
My broom work was from training for hunting vampires through the German forests. I was a mediocre hunter, but I was still trained. I didn't see any reason to mention the training. The German Ministry was flexible on the matter. Its position was that the Brits could learn anything we transfer students knew by sending an English student to Durmstrang. We could tell our hosts whatever we felt comfortable telling them. Later, for vampires. Right now, lunch.
Draco was in a good mood after the ride, and it was infectious. He kissed his mother on the cheek and took over overseeing the elves.
"Do you ride?" I inquired.
"I used to, but not anymore," Mrs. Malfoy replied.
"I was hoping you could take us on a tour," I told her, hoping I wasn't being too forward. I glanced at Draco. He seemed to like the idea.
"Yes, Mother," he said. "You should relax and get some air."
"Perhaps you know some scenic spots," I suggested as casually as I could.
"There are some places I would like to visit," she confessed.
"That's great," said Draco.
After a pause he pleaded, "It would be good for you."
"I don't know if I'm up to it," she replied.
"Isn't Hermann a potions master?" quipped Draco, gesturing in my direction. "We could brew you some restoratives."
"I'm not that fragile," she retorted, and then she caught on. "That's a good one," she said, smiling at us.
Draco and I caught each other's eye. Let's leave it at that. Gentle persuasion.
"I hear you play Quidditch," I said, changing the subject.
"Oh, yes!" responded Mrs. Malfoy. "He's the team Seeker." She leaned over and squeezed her son's arm.
"Do you train with Snitch-Birds?" I asked. They gave me blank looks.
"Snitch-Birds," I explained, "are specially bred to mimic the movements of the snitch. Our Seekers train with them."
Draco looked interested, but his mother looked appalled. "You chase those poor little birds around and catch them?" she exclaimed.
"The birds live for it," I assured both of them. "There's an active Snitch-Bird Society dedicated to their welfare. They tried raising them without using them in Seeker practice. The birds died young."
Mrs. Malfoy still looked skeptical.
"The Seekers are very careful with them. It's considered clumsy and dishonorable to hurt a bird. There's an active debate whether or not our Seekers are being trained correctly. We're afraid they won't pursue the real snitch aggressively enough."
"But the birds still get hurt," countered Mrs. Malfoy.
"The injury rate for the birds is much less than for the players, but Quidditch is a sport," I replied. "In sports, people and animals get hurt."
"Could we practice with them?" asked Draco.
"Draco!" said Mrs. Malfoy. "Those poor little birds!"
"We'll be careful, Mum." He turned to me and asked, "Could we practice with them?"
"If you two agree to try them, I can ask the German Ministry."
Draco left for a few minutes. "Do you think I'm being a spoilsport about the birds?" asked Mrs. Malfoy.
"Not at all," I replied, looking into her kind eyes. "I'm glad you're concerned." She seemed to blush a little.
"Do you really want me to ride with you? Do you think I can?"
"Believe me; we both want your company. Take it easy at first."
"You look athletic to me," I added. She smiled at that and seemed to get slightly pinker.
I spent the rest of the day in a reading room, sorting through the Hogwarts' textbooks. The Hogwarts and Durmstrang curriculums were different, and I had to fill in some gaps. As I worked, I noticed the room was cozy. It had lots of natural light, comfortable chairs, a wood floor, and some quiet oriental carpets. Somebody liked this room and had made it friendly.
The next morning after tea, Draco and I discovered that Mrs. Malfoy had dug out and polished her broom. We made a small tour. That afternoon the Snitch-Birds arrived, and Mrs. Malfoy immediately appointed herself their guardian. Caring for the birds was not something she was going to leave to a pair of ruffians.
That afternoon I sent a message to the German Ministry that things were going well. We had been worried. After all, Mr. Malfoy was in prison, along with a number of other people I had planned to visit. The German Ministry and I had canceled all the summer plans. The Malfoys and the Notts, however, had insisted that I come as planned. As far as the Ministry and I could tell, it was their aristocratic heritage. For a thousand years, Malfoys and Notts had been going to wars, revolutions, big game hunts, and adventures. For a thousand years, some catastrophe had just happened, was happening, or was about to happen. It was a way of life to them, and it would not interfere with their hospitality.
A few afternoons later, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle appeared with sacks of old Bludgers. They were Beaters on the Slytherin team. The object of this afternoon's game, the three explained to me, was for Vincent and Gregory to knock Draco and me off our brooms with the Bludgers as we two targets flew about in an area the size of a Quidditch pitch. Draco and I could charge Vincent and Gregory if we felt like it. By the time the rules had been explained, Draco had a feral grin. This aristocratic heritage stuff could be scary. I noticed that Mrs. Malfoy was outside reading in a spot that let her observe everything.
Let the Games begin. Vincent and Gregory were good. There was not any way Draco and I could get close to them, at least not two-dimensionally. The laws of chance said that, sooner or later, Draco or I would get hit ... probably sooner given how good those Beaters were. It was time for Durmstrang defensive tactics. I got directly above them. It's hard to send a Bludger straight up with any accuracy. I dove behind them to the ground where I pushed myself off. As I went past Vincent, I switched hand positions and thrust my broom out like a quarterstaff. It hit the front of Vincent's broom, knocking it out of his hands. Vincent spiraled to the ground. I was counting on Gregory being too surprised to react. I flipped over in the air without reseating myself. In a dive with the broom in front of me, I struck Gregory's broom behind him with a quarterstaff blow. It knocked him off his seat, although he still had both hands on his broom. He, too, spiraled to the ground. I flipped over again, regained my seat, and managed to land not too hard. I only bounced once.
Vincent and Gregory were up, whooping with glee and pounding me on the back in congratulations. They were joined by Draco. I absolutely had to show them how to do that. Those flips, however, did not agree with my inner ear. I stumbled. Somehow, Mrs. Malfoy was there holding me up. I wondered if I was becoming a sissy since I didn't mind at all that Mrs. Malfoy kept a hand on me all the way back to the table. Once back at the table, we returning heroes clicked our mugs together and quaffed a mighty brew.
The cozy reading room became my favorite place. When Mrs. Malfoy and I were alone she talked about her years at Hogwarts, and she asked about Durmstrang. "Do you really emphasize the Dark Arts?"
"Yes," I said, trying to be diplomatic, "but Durmstrang has expanded its courses the last two decades. Defense for the Dark Arts is now part of the Incantation Disciplines along with Charms and Transfigurations."
Mrs. Malfoy nodded and said, "They built around their strong point."
I agreed. "Yes, they first made the Incantation Disciplines world class. Then they decided we needed to relate to the rest of the world, and they built up the Social Disciplines ... magic and non-magic social studies, and magic and non-magic history. These disciplines have recently become world class. We're even doing revisionist history."
"Revisionist history?" asked Mrs. Malfoy.
"The latest study out of Durmstrang argues that the goblins were justified during the last goblin-wizard war, that the treaty ending the war is unfair, and that it should be changed."
Immediately after saying this I realized what a mistake I had made. The Death Eaters did not recognize anyone not a pureblood wizard as having a right to a full and decent life, and the Death Eaters believed in violence and intimidation instead of compromise and peaceful settlement. I expected Mrs. Malfoy, the wife of a Death Eater, to become angry and dismiss revisionist history as Durmstrang craziness, but she thought about it and said, "They're trying to prevent the next war. They want to remove its causes before it happens."
I couldn't believe it. That was one of the most insightful and sympathetic comments about revisionist history that I had ever heard. "Yes," I said.
Of course I was a little disappointed that I had not heard a spirited argument about why pureblood wizards should rule the world. It would have been interesting to get a first hand account of their position.
I admired this lady and liked her company. I tried encouraging her visits by paying attention to her. I made a pest of myself by asking if she wanted any tea and by adjusting the lights for her, but she accepted all this graciously. She even acted as if she enjoyed it. After a while, we were talking about our families. Soon, Mrs. Malfoy was in the room almost all the time I was in the room. I actually got irritated one day when she didn't appear. Strange.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Hermann Chronicles
58 Reviews | 9.28/10 Average
Mmm... lovely and interesting observations being made by Hermann... His perceptions and genteel warmth seem to have affected his hosts--He seems to have evoked a considerate and much appreciated empathy (and perhaps more) within and from Narcissa, in particular... and from within himself for the lady of the Manor. Love the cultural background snippets revealed throughout-- the esoteric Death Eaters' social circle has been infiltrated by a unique 'voice'!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Appreciate the comments. The story does try to portray a character with a different point of view.One possibility is that the Malfoys and Durmstrang have been misrepresented in canon. This is the Malfoys at home. And it is the Malfoys without Lucius. After all, Draco is a better scholar than Harry and a better athlete than Hermione. His father is disappointed in him, but his mother supports him. Is Hermann an aristocrat, an artificial personality?
Intriguing, fresh, and unique! A rare gem of a male original character dropped into canon and on his way to Hogwarts--brilliant! "(...) You don't have a House called 'Gottverflucht' do you?"--lol! But poor dear... the day is starting out a bit shakey for him and he is so very critical of himself... Hermann Busch has definitely a tale to tell--looking forward to his chronicles of his life and times at Hogwarts/Great Britain!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Hope you enjoy the tale. It is the first story I wrote, and for some reason, I decided to break all the rules: no first person narrative, non-chronological chapters, no transfer students at Hogwarts, no one is as smart as Hermione. Our character is a stranger in a strange land.
It seemed to me that he has asperger's syndrome. I do not regard Hermann as a Casanova. but was hoping he would manage to sleep with more girls. particularly If You could manage an ffmf. loved your first half writing more than the second half no idea why is there a difference but still excellenmy done.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Mild autism or cultural differences or socially awkward scientist or forty-year-old women versus sixteen-year-old girls?
ffmf? He keeps thinking the fmf is going to get him killed.
Don't know if there is a difference in writing styles or not since I am too close to the material. The first half has more varied interactions with the girls although I remember the second-half scenes with Pansy and Li Shan.
lol. excellent characterisation. notaAllboring....
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. Yes, the first chapter tries to present some of his character and dilemma while at Hogwarts.
My days as a lonely wizard were over.She said, "Do you know Theo Nott?" LOL, this entire story is too good! i love your writing style... it conveys emotion without actually telling you... it's so clever =)
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. I tried for a zen no-style, but I don't think I accomplished it.
Response from LoveFenrir (Reviewer)
Are you kidding? You are undoubtedly the master of this style =)
i love your writing style =Dthe first sentence had me literally LOL-ing! my plan was to review every chapter but i'm just getting so carried away with the plotthis hermann guy is such a sexy yet naive player <3 how is this possible? O.O
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. This was the second story I wrote, and I tried pushing the boundaries by breaking all the rules and conventions, which makes it difficult to read. For various reasons, Hermann is an outsider and morally conflicted.
Response from LoveFenrir (Reviewer)
Once you get past the confronting writing style, you really start to love it! I'm surprised more readers aren't obsessed with your work =)
I have really enjoyed reading this fic. I particularly loved the good bye to all his friends at the end, it was well written and beautiful.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the kind comments.
Arguing with the sorting hat! How cool!As before, I wonder why you've changed to Padma's POV in the second last paragraph, but otherwise, I like this chapter a lot!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for reviewing. Hermann does not take Hogwarts at face value. The change in point of view was probably not necessary, since most readers could guess what she was thinking, but I’m preparing the reader for some really jarring changes that occur later.
Ooh, I like the romance unfolding between Herman and Narcissa.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for a perceptive review. I tried to write a subtle, growing relationship that neither was consciously aware of.
I think you did a fantastic job of portraying a character with English as his second language. His speech seemed very believable to me, and I think the insertion of the German words lent credibility to it. My only nitpick about this chapter is the three lines where it changes from his point of view. After Hermann and the others had left, Ginny rounded on Hermione, "You could have been a little more unfriendly if you had worked at it.""Ginny," Hermione said quietly, "that shy little boy is probably a Death Eater.""I'm going to board the 'nice looking train,'" said Ginny, walking off in a huff.That doesn't seem to fit to me. Since the story is written as his narritive it seems out of place to mention an exchange he didn't hear. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. I'm totally intrigued that he knows Draco, Crabbe and Goyle, and I found the opening paragraph very intriguing, particularly the part in which you say a twelve-month period in which I betrayed everyone who came into my life. I'm off to read the next chapter!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I appreciate your remarks about the stilted conversation, and I’m glad you found the prologue and first scene intriguing. Thanks for the review. Regarding point of view, I originally had one point of view, but initial readers wanted the views of other characters in some scenes. I resisted at first, but then decided to approach the changing points of view as a writing challenge. The site editors questioned me about it, but decided to allow it since I knew I was doing it and regarded it as a writing challenge. I realize that, no matter how well it is done, it will bother some readers. In chapter 1, I could have used the artifice of Hermann overhearing the conversation, but I decided to ease the reader into the fact that the story was going to do this. In some later scenes, the abrupt change creates an effect would be impossible to achieve by other means. If it helps, I regard fan fiction as an experimental arena. If I’m successful, you will find things in ‘Hermann’ that you will not find anywhere else.
There were many amusing bits in this chapter. I wish there were more ... but I'm not bitter about it.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Okay, the chapter kept you anchored and you rode it through to the bitter end. Thanks for the review
What I find interesting is that no matter how much Hermann offends others, he intrrigues them so much that they just can't leave him alone.
I don't find Hermann offensive necessarily, though the way he speaks can oftentimes offend. He is a complex character -- and he is so intriguing as to be addictive. Sort of like my morning coffee, I need a little Hermann.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Or … we can invert it and say that the canon character, remaining in canon, can approach him only through his flaws.
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
And, I must add that I am in awe at how thoroughly you have thought through JKR's story, your story and its character. I have to admit, it's more than many do, including myself.
great new chapter! yay for TS Eliot. i'm looking forward to more.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks — continued interest by an accomplished writer means a lot. If you like Eliot, there is a parody of ‘Wasteland’ near the end of chapter 8. Part of it is the chapter summary. I hope it’s not carrying on too much to say that there’s one of e. e. cummings (Buffalo Bill) with Luna at self-defense practice in the desolate field.
I just read this story all in one sitting, and I really enjoyed it. The language reminds me of this book I read a few years ago called 'Everything is Illuminated' It's sexy and interesting seeing Hogwarts from an outsider's perspective. continue please!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you very much for a great review. I hope you find the rest of the story as interesting.
... And the girl in the library reading this wonderful story shouted rounds of "Bravo!" as their souls were equally satisfied and another excellent chapter came to a close.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Glad to be entertaining. The next several chapters are calmer. The plot requires the introduction of a major canon character, and it requires this character remains strictly canon.
All I can say is I think Luna is channeling me. Shan definitely is not. I would never request a sonnet. (I like punishment, but not THAT much punishment.)
Darn it ... now what was that dismembering charm?
Okay. So that wasn't a very mature review, was it? I have an excuse, though ... the vacation has left me in need of a vacation. But this chapter had so many little gems in it. It was either that or I could have sung a stanza of:
Im Hogwarts der ist kein bier.
(Which I understood perfectly of course, being originally from Wisconsin.)
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
The review fits the chapter — Ravenclaws at play. It’s quite funny you consider writing a sonnet crueler than dismemberment.
Oh, that was so funny ... ripping a chapter out of the Malfoy book to say he they had a wider range of acceptable behavior!
Hermann's escapades were well written. I particularly enjoyed the verbal part of the stimulation. While he still has many things to learn, he is certainly learning a few things quite well.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I thought I had written the raunchiest scene this side of consensual. The site editor snickered over it, and you found it titillating. Tough crowd.
I love the introduction of the kata and the two girls going through the routines and fencing with him. It gives Hermann something more to think about, doesn't it?
I wonder if I've said this before in another review... I think the episodic approach is what keeps this story interesting. Every chapter there is something new. And I really like that.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I almost prefaced the chapter with Tyger, Tyger, burning bright In the forests of the night Hermann is not wrong about those two. I still remember blocking out the vignettes as they occurred to me, arranging and rearranging them on the timeline, and working at getting them to come together.
I must say that Hermann is quite in touch with his feelings. I suppose in more ways than one. (I was specificially talking about how he is so in tune with his anger, but I see that it could be interpreted another way as well.) I think Hermann is wise to take advantage of an opportunity when he's presented with one, but the poor boy certainly needs a witch with more ... verve.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I appreciate your continued interest. Yes, you have summed up the points of the chapter: his dealing with his raging emotions, his moral quandary, and his feelings of inadequacy.
Well, it seems that Hermann is getting used to conversing with girls. Honestly, he was mis-housed. He is a true Slytherin. But, I do agree that he has the intelligence to rival the most-intelligent Ravenclaw.
I have become addicted to this story, I hope you are aware.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Yes, that Slytherin-Ravenclaw mix is the main point of the chapter. It's not much of a spoiler to say that it's important for the story.Hermann is marginally better with the girls.I notice you can review without giving away the contents. Very clever. Is that a Slytherin trait?
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Every time I put on that darn hat, it tosses me into Slytherin. I'm not disappointed. *wink*
There are many readers who read reviews first, which can be like reading the last page of a novel first if reviewers aren't careful. I intentionally try not to give away any spoilers.
I was happy to see a longer chapter. Not only does it give us more insight into the Malfoy family relationship, it gives us more insight into Hermann. Your style of writing also lends a hand to the character development. The more I read, the more I like this story, Fairfield! Keep up the excellent work!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I’m glad you liked the chapter, and I thank you for the encouragement. Later sections, however, may disappoint you. If I recall correctly, the order of importance for the ancient Greeks was (1) plot, (2) ideas, (3) character, and (4) diction. I tried a mix. [Yes. I read Aristotle’s ‘Poetics,’ became inspired, and wrote a fanfic.]
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
I am rarely disappointed. I understand that some chapters may develop plot while others develop character or other things. I am a patient girl.
I believe you are the only person I've met who got inspired to write fanfic after reading Aristotle. My goodness. Maybe it's what makes your writing so interesting to me. It could be what gives it that unique flavor.
I kinda hate to see it end. This was really a fun story to read. You gave Hermann such interesting adventures/encounters with Hogwarts as a backdrop. It was nice to see a different perspective--even if it was from an adolescent who was somewhat a Casanova.
And even though Hermann was made up completely, the other "normal" characters were fairly believable. (I hate it when someone writes a story about Harry--or one of the trio--and makes it look like a 16-year old is directing adults and that the adults are just meekly doing what he says.) In short, I think you've done a fine job of writing.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for the perceptive review and kind comments.
The story is finished, and everyone who is going to read it has read it. No reason to worry about spoilers.
Please, tell your friends about the story. Lucius is available. Narcissa does not regard setting a large snake on a student body containing her son as good parenting.
Adult Brit wizard society appears weak in the novels—probably to emphasize Harry’s heroism. Hermann, however, observes Brit wizard society is weak, reasons that Harry is not a social reformer and cannot act beyond society, concludes that Harry will be ineffective or detrimental, and decides to take independent action.
Canon Hermione spouts canon. Since Hermann believes canon is nonsense, he thinks she’s a nutter, and Hermione is left a lonely swot.
Such a beautiful good-bye to all his friends. I felt sort of sad that he was so alone in the end ... but all good things must come to an end, mustn't they?
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
My regards to The Petulant Poetess, the only fan fiction site with the courage and tolerance to publish ‘The Hermann Chronicles.’
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
And you are more than welcome here. I enjoyed the uniqueness of this story and the uniqueness of your style. Thank you, Fairfield, for posting!!
A magical little interlude ... leaves me wondering where they teach Medieval sex charms. Those are quite useful.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
They are quite useful if you’re as capable as Janice Nott … of course you are … just mentioning it. Thanks for the review.
I've been reading this story and find it really funny--and often hot.
There are stories where some of the characters are out of character, but the author won't recognize it. You've done a wonderful job of creating out-of-canon situations and characters--and acknowledging it. Thanks for providing such fun!
I should probably have reviewed more often, but I smile every time I read your work.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for a perceptive and sympathetic review. Most of the characters are original or minor (who may as well be original). I tried a transformation of Draco. Instead of reacting to Harry, I gave him an independent existence with a supportive mother, a peer as a friend, Quidditch, Potions, and girlfriends. I tried to keep Hermione in canon. Her interactions with Hermann are a clash of personalities and cultures.
Response from janis (Reviewer)
I noticed your transformation of Draco. I have a friend who would have been angry at your sympathetic portrayal of Narcissa--mostly because she fancies Lucius--but it was quite nice to see more about Draco and less about Harry for once. Don't get me wrong, Harry is still the hero in my eyes, but since JKR's stories are basically told from Harry's perspective, it's refreshing to have Draco as a more complex character.
I think you did a good job of keeping Hermione in canon. You made her a swot, had a little competition going (completely believable) and also showed her as being quite logical.
I'm sorry to see the story end, but you're probably right to conclude it the way you have with the next chapter.
--Janis