First Impressions
Chapter 11 of 18
ShanastayShaluinn meets some of Hogwarts? staff over breakfast.
Disclaimer: (In the spirit of Crimson Starlight)
Shana: *still waving hand in front of Kim's face* Hellooooooo? *Snaps fingers*
Kim: *jerks, snapping out of it* Wha...?
Shana: Snape Shock.
Kim: *frowning* What?
Shana: You were in "Snape Shock."
Kim: You made that up.
Shana: *grinning* Damn straight.
Snape: Do I want to know what the two of you are discussing?
Kim: *smirk* Why, you, of course.
Snape: *glares*
Shana: Better knock it off. You're still in trouble mister.
Kim: *evil smirk* Can I punish him?
Shana: *points* See that? He has a new wand. Do you really want to try?
Kim: *nodding enthusiastically*
Shana: Oh, dear. That might have been an error on my part.
Snape: *shudders, Disapparates*
Kim: *sulks* Shanastay owns only the plot and her original characters. All else belongs to the genius of JK Rowling.
Chapter 11: First Impressions
Shaluinn was rudely awakened by a shrill, piercing, pulsing, screech echoing through her rooms. The American immediately recognized that the sound had been triggered by someone attempting to enter her rooms. Most likely it was McGonagall, as the Headmistress was the only person (other than Dobby) she had met so far.
Throwing off the heavy comforter, the redhead scrambled to the bathroom, grabbing one of the large bath towels and wrapping it around her nude form. She swiftly cast a rudimentary version of her customary glamour and rushed into the main salon, almost blinded by the bright sunlight streaming through the windows. Throwing up a hand to shield her eyes, the other clutching the towel so it wouldn't fall, she went toward the entrance, just barely missing tripping over her bags.
Belatedly remembering to silence the alarm, the American waved a hand at the wall and stuck just her head through.
Minerva jumped back, barely containing a shriek as the new UD professor's head and neck appeared through the wall, the unexpected sight more than a little unnerving.
Confused, Shaluinn took in the elder witch's defensive posture, wand at the ready, her left hand fluttering near her throat. "Mist-Minerva?" the redhead asked.
"Sweet Merlin! You startled me!" McGonagall cried, breathing heavily from the fright she'd just received.
"Sorry about that," the redhead looked sheepish. "What's up?"
Visibly calming, the Transfigurations mistress tilted her head back, looking around at the ceiling. As the elder witch opened her mouth to answer, Callaway cut her off.
"Sorry again," she apologized. "I keep forgetting I'm not in America anymore, and the slang is different here." The younger woman grimaced. "What I meant was, what can I do for you, Headmistress?"
Minerva returned Shaluinn's gaze, one eyebrow raised sardonically over her glasses. "I was coming to see if you would accompany me to breakfast. The rest of the staff is anxious to meet the newest addition, especially since you didn't join us at dinner last night."
"Oh, shit. I didn't even think..."
McGonagall waved a dismissive hand. "Don't worry yourself. I made your apologies, explaining you had come a long way and needed to recover from your trip."
Callaway smiled wryly. "Thank you. If you don't mind waiting a couple minutes, as I'm a bit underdressed at the moment..." At Minerva's narrowed, questioning gaze she added, "I'm only wearing a towel," and blushed, the deep red showing through the glamour as a slight pink tinge.
The Headmistress made a shooing motion, scoffing. "Go on, dear. I'll be right here." The elder witch turned as the younger woman's head vanished, pointing her wand at a hard, wooden chair, transfiguring it into something a bit more comfortable to sit in.
Relieved, Shaluinn murmured a thank you as she pulled back. She paused, inhaling several deep breaths and dropping the hastily constructed glamour. Her head spun a bit from the concentration necessary to poke just her head through the portal. A good night's sleep had left her rested and relatively pain-free. Only the dull, constant ache of her condition registered in the back of her mind. Not the barest whisper of the decidedly erotic dream she'd had during the night crossed her mind. The world now steady, she padded over to her bags.
Rifling through one, she pulled out several items and carried them back into the bedroom with her. Lining the items up in a row, carefully spaced apart, she retrieved her right-hand wand and waved it, returning the trio of boxes to their normal size. Carefully dropping to her knees, she flipped the lids off, grabbing a bra and panties from one box, a long-sleeve, v-neck, black bodysuit from the second, and a pair of black, stretchy, hip-hugger jeans from the third. Returning to the first box, she snagged a pair of thick, black, combat-boot socks.
Retrieving her knives and carrying everything into the bathroom, she set all but the socks and knives on the counter, donning those while she used the facilities. She quickly put everything else on, unable to hold back a sigh of relief as she adjusted her bra, the garment instantly easing the tension in her back, her shoulders now bearing the load.
She double-checked her appearance in the mirror, turning a critical eye to any exposed expanses of skin, as she habitually murmured the incantation for her customary glamour. The new, dark purple mark at the juncture of her neck and shoulder went unnoticed amidst the other bruises.
Satisfied, she stepped out to the main room, and alternately balanced on each foot, putting her boots on. Striding through the room she snagged her long, leather coat as she passed her bags. Donning the coat, she waved a hand as she walked through the wall into her office.
Minerva stood from her seat as the UD Professor reappeared, fully clothed this time. "Shall we?" she asked, inclining her head toward the door.
"Yes, let's," Shaluinn answered, as she buttoned up her coat, following the elder witch out. Matching pace with McGonagall, the American flipped her damp braid to the front. She undid the plait and let her long red hair fall free to finish drying, the length settling into soft waves. She listened carefully as Minerva caught her up on recent happenings, as well as pointing out things that would help the younger witch find her way around the unfamiliar castle.
"...Watch the staircases. They like to change quite often..."
Shaluinn smiled at that, believing it after her convoluted escorted trip to the Headmistress' office upon her arrival.
The American wasn't surprised by the news that it was Snape who had brought Albus to his end, Minerva's voice hitching as she passed that along. As soon as Shaluinn had seen the portrait, she'd known what had transpired. The White Tomb was a nice touch. She'd have to pay her respects later.
The students had been sent home, now three days ago. She had just missed the maelstrom of activity. The redhead was a bit surprised when Minerva mentioned that she had yet to decide if she would advise the governors to keep the school closed this coming term.
Shaluinn frowned, her gaze on the elder witch as she spoke, "From what Albus, and now you have told me, it seems like the students would be about as safe here as at home. A hard lesson about war has been driven home, that there is no truly safe haven."
The redhead raised a hand to forestall the argument she saw coming. "Hear me out. I have some experience serving in the Muggle military. We learned the hard way that anyone can be a combatant. There are no truly innocent bystanders. The enemy used children as shields and as suicide bombers, among other things."
McGonagall had a deer-caught-in-headlights look on her face, so Shaluinn decided to cut short her little dissertation, the details not all that important. "I'll sum it up, paraphrasing one of my favorite British authors. 'The people of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them.'"
"Who said that?"
"Tolkein. J.R.R. Tolkein," the redhead answered.
Minerva seemed thoughtful. "That name sounds familiar. Was he a wizard, dear?"
"You know, I honestly don't know. From all the biographies I've read about him, I always assumed he was a Muggle. But then again, you could be right," Shaluinn admitted. By now the two women had arrived at the Great Hall. Standing outside the tall oak doors, Shaluinn paused for a moment, gathering her wits and courage.
Minerva caught the momentary look of apprehension that crossed the American's face before the redhead hid it well, head held high, back straight. This one would have been a Gryffindor, I'm sure of it. But I wonder... "Shaluinn?"
The woman turned suddenly cold, shuttered eyes toward the Headmistress. "Yes, Madam?"
Oh, dear heavens! Recovering quickly, the elder witch covered her surprise by clearing her throat. "I was wondering if you might indulge me sometime in the near future by trying on the Sorting Hat."
Callaway blinked in confusion, her expression otherwise unaltered. "The what?"
"The Sorting Hat. It's the way students are assigned to their respective Houses. If Hogwarts reopens come September, you will see it in action during the Sorting Ceremony for the first years. I am merely curious to see what House the hat would put you in." As she uttered that final explanation Minerva pushed the hall door open, preceding the American.
"Certainly, Madam," Callaway assented, inclining her head before following McGonagall inside.
The American had no idea just how much she resembled Hogwarts last DADA professor as she strode after the Headmistress. She was clad from head to toe in solid black, minus the billowing teaching robes Snape had favored, garnering his "great black bat" description. The woman held herself stiffly straight; hands clasped behind her back, head high, expression carefully neutral and closed. The bottom of her coat flared slightly as she walked, exposing the length of her legs, made to look longer by the added height of her boots. Her long red hair flowed freely behind her, like a stream of molten fire. Her emerald eyes darted about, taking in everything around her.
Silence descended over the professors gathered in the Great Hall as they caught their first glimpse of the newest addition to the teaching staff. Two of the women present leaned into each other, whispering quietly while throwing openly suspicious, yet furtive glances at the American. They broke off as Callaway's gaze fell on them, her expression neither hostile, nor welcoming. It was simply... cold, making her otherwise plain features somewhat sinister, the redhead inadvertently cutting quite the imposing figure.
Since the students had been sent home, the four long tables that customarily dominated the hall had been replaced by a single table, large enough to hold the staff left. Only seven individuals were seated along its length. Minerva stepped up to the head of the table, motioning for Callaway to stand beside her.
"Since I already have your attention, I would like to introduce you to Shaluinn Callaway. She will be teaching a new elective class, Unwanded Defense." She waited while the redhead made a small bow before motioning to an open seat further down the table. "Perhaps we can go around and each of you introduce yourself," McGonagall suggested, as Shaluinn made her way over to the open spot next to the two grey-haired witches who had been conversing quietly since the redhead entered.
As soon as both Shaluinn and Minerva were seated, food immediately appeared on large platters arranged down the center of the table. As everyone began to serve themselves, the witch to the Callaway's immediate left turned bright yellow, hawk-like eyes on the newcomer. The redhead tried not to appear at a loss over the, unusual for her, breakfast selection. Grey, short-cut hair stuck out from the other witch's head at every angle, causing Shaluinn to wonder if it did that naturally, was charmed into place, or if Muggle gel was utilized to create the effect. While at USAFA, the redhead had sported a similar style and had enjoyed the rather punky look.
"I'm Rolanda Hooch, Quidditch coach and referee, and flying instructor here at Hogwarts." Her gaze still very intent, the witch seemed about to say something else, but instead turned to the woman on her left.
Shaluinn couldn't exactly gauge heights as everyone at the table was seated, but she guesstimated that Professor Hooch was likely a good head taller than her, the witch's build strong and muscular, like Shaluinn's, but not as curvaceous. "Professor Hooch," Callaway greeted in reply.
"Madam Hooch," the hawk-eyed woman corrected.
"My apologies, Madam Hooch," Shaluinn acknowledged, inclining her head.
"I'm Professor Pomona Sprout," chirped the definitely shorter, much rounder witch with grey, flyaway hair, topped by a patched hat seated to Hooch's left. "I teach Herbology and am Head of Hufflepuff House. Welcome to Hogwarts." She finished with a strained smile, clearly trying to ignore Hooch, who was openly frowning, still studying the American.
Even from down the table, it was clear to Shaluinn that the woman spent a great deal of time in her greenhouses, the deeply embedded dirt under her fingernails visible from a distance. "Professor Sprout," Callaway acknowledged with another dip of her head.
As introductions were being made, the redhead settled on some scrambled eggs and toast, and a bowl of what looked something like oatmeal. British food was definitely different from American food. The woman was careful to take small bites, in case someone decided to ask her a question.
Across the table from the pair of grey-haired witches sat a thin, rather vulture-like woman. Realizing it was her turn, she spoke with a shrill voice, her irritation more than evident. "I'm Madam Irma Pince, Hogwarts librarian. I will not tolerate any shenanigans in my library!" the woman admonished sternly, eyes flashing before turning back to her breakfast.
Oh good grief! "Madam Pince, I feel obligated to inform you that you may be receiving visits from Miss Hermione Granger and Misters Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. They are to have unfettered access to the Restricted Section," Shaluinn concluded, the corners of her mouth twitching as she restrained the smirk that wanted to emerge.
Pince went into an immediate fit, muttering and then hurling accusations at the newest professor. All eyes were on the two women as the librarian pointed one long, bony finger at the American. "You have no right..."
"Irma!" McGonagall admonished from the other end of the table. "As a professor, Miss Callaway is well within her rights to grant students access to the Restricted Section. Although informing you over breakfast might not have been the best of times." Minerva threw a warning look at the redhead. What is this girl playing at?
The whole exchange had everyone's attention. Professor Sprout lost her air of forced cheerfulness as the American seemed to be openly baiting the librarian. The move was entirely too much like Snape for anyone's comfort. The redhead was not winning herself any friends with her behavior.
Shaluinn met Minerva's confused gaze and dipped her eyes, acknowledging the admonishment. She then looked across the table and up at the enormous man sitting there. He had to be at least twice as tall as the average man and five times as wide. A curling black beard and long, wild, tangled hair hid his face, eyes like black beetles staring down at her. His hands were so huge they made the utensils he held appear nothing more than doll accessories. He could snap me in half without a second thought.
An impromptu staring contest started as the American looked calmly and evenly up at the giant, the large man clearly taking in the measure of the redhead. She made sure to open her gaze to him, silently telling him her intentions were honorable, despite the baiting of a moment before. She had no idea why, but she felt it imperative that this individual have a good impression of her, that somehow his opinion would mean a great deal.
Silence reigned for several more beats before Callaway broke it, speaking matter-of-factly, with a touch of awe in her voice. "You're half-giant. I've never met one before. It's an honor."
And with that, the man across from her burst into reverberating chuckles, a grin spreading across his face. The tension that had been hovering in the air was effectively broken. "Aye, lass. That I am. Rubeus Hagrid, but everyone calls me Hagrid, Gamekeeper and Keeper of the Keys here at Hogwarts, as well as Professor of Care of Magical Creatures," he announced with pride.
Shaluinn decided that now was the time to let her carefully crafted mask slip a bit. "Care of Magical Creatures you say?" Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, eyes widening with excitement. "Have you any dragons?" The redhead had no way of knowing she had unintentionally lit upon Hagrid's favorite subject. Dumbledore had spoken highly of this man, but had not gone into great depth.
The half-giant's whole face lit up with the question. "They're illegal to keep round here, but we did have four brought in two years ago for the Triwizard Tournament..." He trailed off as a throat clearing was heard from the head of the table. "Sorry, Headmistress."
"Hagrid, I'd like to continue this conversation at a later time. If that's alright?" Shaluinn asked.
"Of course! I live in the cottage down by the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Come down for a cuppa sometime," he offered before turning his attention back to his meal.
A cuppa? For the first time since entering the Great Hall, Shaluinn smiled. "I'd like that. Thank you, Hagrid." With any luck, she'd thrown pretty much everyone off balance by now. For Dumbledore's plotting to work, she had to establish herself as a loner from the start. It wouldn't do to have people constantly visiting her, especially since she had no idea when Snape would try to make contact with her. The only thing she was sure of was that it would be in person.
The woman to Hagrid's left spoke up. "I'm Madam Poppy Pomfrey. I'm the mediwitch here." She appeared middle-aged and was wearing what looked like a white habit taken from The Flying Nun.
Shaluinn's gaze swept past McGonagall to the man--no, men--who sat to the redhead's right. She had almost missed the diminutive older man, seated on a large cushion to raise him up to the table. He considerately stood on his chair, so she could get a good look at him, as he introduced himself. He had a shock of white hair and a somewhat squeaky voice.
"Filius Flitwick, madam. Professor of Charms and Head of Ravenclaw House." The little man performed quite the elegant bow, one arm across his waist, the other held at an angle from his body, and his right heel extended in front of him. It was quite cute, actually. "Welcome to Hogwarts." He then sat back down, offering the stage, so to speak, to the not quite as short, portly man to Shaluinn's immediate right.
"Professor Horace Slughorn, Potions, and Head of Slytherin House, at your service. You wouldn't happen to be the daughter of Jolena Anhel, would you?" He smiled widely, his prominent eyes seeming to bug out for a moment. He was definitely shorter than Shaluinn, his shiny, bald head likely to be a glare hazard. He sported a large belly and an enormous, silvery, walrus-like moustache was the only hair on his head. He wore a waistcoat dotted with many shiny gold buttons.
The first word that came to mind as she gazed coldly down at him was "sycophant." How the hell would this guy know my mother? More importantly, how the hell did he find out...? Oh. Death announcements. They include "survived bys." Still... "I am, sir," she answered truthfully, tone flat and emotionless.
"Oh, excellent! Excellent!" He hastily wiped his hands on his napkin and extended the right one. "I'm sure we can expect great things from you, my dear, great things indeed! Your mother was an incredible, powerful witch."
Shaluinn looked down at the proffered hand with a sneer that would have made Snape proud, refusing to take it. Gratified, she watched Slughorn's bravado falter in the face of her obvious disdain. "Yes, she was," the redhead acknowledged, turning back to her now cold breakfast.
Remembering the tray still in her room, she debated saying fuck it to breakfast and going back. Unless I want Minerva on my ass, I need to make some pretense of eating. Nibbling on the corner of a piece of toast, her thoughts were interrupted by Madam Hooch.
Her voice cold, the witch seemed to be daring the redhead to back down. "Perhaps you could tell us about yourself, now."
It's a reasonable question, but the way she said it tells me she's trying to bait me. Well, two can play this game. Deciding swiftly on the best course of action, she focused on the half-giant across from her, speaking as if they were the only two in the room, a hint of warmth entering her voice.
"Well, you already know my name and have surely surmised I'm an American from my accent. As Professor Slughorn felt necessary to point out, I am the daughter of Jolena Anhel, an American Unspeakable." She definitely had a rapt audience.
Hagrid smiled encouragingly at her as she continued. "My mother was killed several weeks ago by one of Voldemort's Death Eaters." Shaluinn held back a smirk as everyone at the table, including Hagrid, shuddered at the mention of that name.
She decided to give them a general overview of her life that, hopefully, would garner few questions. "I was born July 5, 1958, adopted and raised by my adopted Muggle grandparents. I attended the Pacific Branch of the American Institute of Magic and Mysteries from 1969 to 1976. I subsequently turned my back on the magical world, entering the United States Air Force Academy on June 28, 1976, part of the first class to include women. I left the Academy in March of 1979.
"I bounced around a bit, serving in the Muggle Air Force until May of 1981. I left the Air Force and moved to Japan with a friend to study martial arts, which is what I'll be teaching here at Hogwarts. I achieved fifth-degree black belts in five different disciplines, as well as winning an international swordsmanship competition. I left Japan in December of 1992, returning to my birthplace in Southern California and my adopted mother.
"I completed studies for a Muggle Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice, as well as taking up competitive archery. In May of 1995, I moved to Washington State in the Pacific Northwest to be near my real mother, Jolena Anhel. I spent time getting to know her, finally, until about three weeks ago, when she was murdered. Up until six months ago, I had spent my entire adult life living as a Muggle. Six months ago Professor Dumbledore approached me about teaching Unwanded Defense here and began reacquainting me with the magical world."
Madam Pomfrey took the lull in Shaluinn's speech to ask what normally would have been an obvious question. "So you're 38, soon to be 39?"
"Technically, actually temporally, I'm 45, soon to be 46."
A chorus of cries rose up along the table, varying from comments about the impossibility of the American's statement, to speculation on how that could possibly be.
"QUIET!" the redhead cried out, effectively silencing the debates. "My adopted parents refused to allow me to attend the Institute, and as my mother, Jolena, had been through the same fiasco years prior, she obtained permission for the use of a Time-Turner. For seven years I attended both Muggle and magical classes. That is how I can be seven years older than my birth date indicates."
Callaway cast her gaze about, taking in the patently stunned expressions around her. "Any other questions?" Stated rhetorically, she didn't wait for an answer. "No? Then I believe I shall return to settling in." The redhead gracefully stood from the table.
Hands again clasped behind her back in that unknowing impersonation of Snape, she stalked past the head of the table, pausing for just a moment. "Minerva, I shall see you this afternoon then." She pivoted to face the group and inclined her head. "Good-day, all." Turning sharply, the American strode directly out of the hall, her footfalls echoing slightly in the resounding silence.
TBC...
A/N: A few of you may recognize the Lord of the Rings quote as actually being from the movie. Both versions are spoken by Eowyn to Aragorn. In the movie The Two Towers, it takes place as the group is readying to leave for Helm's Deep and is as follows: "The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them. I do not fear either pain or death."
The original, or book version, takes place in The Return of the King, in the chapter titled, The Passing of the Grey Company, and is as follows: "All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death."
Yes, I know the LotR movie trilogy hadn't been released by 1997, but it is a valid point and good paraphrasing of the original book lines. So sue me. It's called artistic license for a reason. A HUGE thank you to everyone who has stuck with me up to this point. I hope I haven't mangled the canon characters too badly.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Lies You Tell Yourself
27 Reviews | 5.56/10 Average
Yo! No compaints here! I enjoyed your genderbending as much as I have enjoyed Lotm's too ( in my own sick demented crack head way!) (That last comment is my eldest sons loving term he calls me when I'm silly ,..... crack head. Its ok I love him right back with Fuckernut ;) ) Anywho, good chappie, serves moine right for trying to break in. Glad to see Harry is getting more and more efficient with his wand.....(well that's another story ;) right?? ) Man am I in a mood today LOL! What?? I know, I'm always this way, in the gutta!! Keep up the good work, catcha later
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Not the gutter... the SEWER! You are my newest sewer-dweller!
A second secret, well, lets see......How about she experiences all of the other person's feelings and thoughts?? That sounds kinda good to me, let me know If I'm close. As for being short, well as long as you dont make a habit of it LOL! Another good chappie and I am definatly looking foward to more, oh and one more thing. If you did decide to just abandon this one, just remember, I know were your moving too....LOL ;)) Later
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
You know I'm not giving anything away... not in my author notes anyway. And DUH you know where I'm going. I'm moving in with you! Thanks for leaving a review. I love to see people coming back for more.
i feel sorry for her now that she shows she is human and not all mighty good chapter
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Thank you! I'm SOOO glad you've stuck with me! I'm waiting for 16 to come back from my beta and will post that. I think you'll like that one. *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Great imagery here. I can nearly visualize her body and how it looks. I wonder, however, what Snape will think, knowing he thinks she still looks like a "hottie" as she did before.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Thank you. That is an entirely valid concern that I hope I will address sufficiently. I've already written most of the scene where he finds out what's up and it's undergone several revisions. I'll be interested to see what you think of that chapter when it goes up.As always, I appreciate your feedback and support more than you will ever know. I hope to have the next chapter submitted for validation sometime tomorrow. *crosses fingers* It's a doozy!
I laughed at the prank Severus pulled. That was hilarious! Ahahaha! I like the way the story is shaping up. I am not a bow/arrow person, so I tend to skim some of that, though my son shoots them. I just can't wait for things to get on and for them to actually get together. ;)
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
I saw that windex commercial and just had to pay homage.I understand glossing over the archery stuff. It's there because it will have a bearing later in the story. They will be meeting up within the next 2 chapters. Chapter 14 is going to put an *ahem* interesting spin on how Snape looks at her, not to mention all women. *snicker* No, I'm not telling!I'm glad you're enjoying this!*hugs*
I love a snarky Madam Hooch. She's one of my fave minor characters.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Me too! I have to admit I fell in love with her character after I saw the first movie. I dig the actress they chose to play her. I can just see her and Snape trading sarcastic barbs (pre-HBP). Thank you for the review! *hugs*
Response from Southern_Witch_69 (Reviewer)
I definitely tend to agree. The movie Hooch was just perfect. I use Hooch in my stories and always have her sniping at Snape. Teehee!
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Great minds think alike! *snicker*
*Bouncing up and down, clapping hands, huge grin on face, chanting* I gotta mention, I gotta mention!! That was great! Send by guys back when they are finished visiting. They were so excited to come BTW!!Love the chappie, I can't wait to see how this all works out! Its cool he's an animagus now, but it also could have been interestingly funny to see how he would handle being a girl! LOL, I'm still really sad about Dumbledor tho, but I guess JKR knows what she's doing. Anywho, thanks for the mention, the great chappie and most of all for being generous and giving me two chappies back to back ;)
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
I'll bring the guys with when I head down there. Using them for moving labor at the moment. :) *hugs* thanks for reviewing! Next chapter should be up in a couple of days.
Nope! No mangling of charaters here! I loved it,of course!! You know I do!! I really like the fact that she is unwittingly channelling Snape! Set them back a few pegs Heh, Heh, Heh, Ok now woman *rubbs hands togather* Wheres chapter 12!! More More More, NOW! ok, not working that way, then how about PLEEEAAASSSEE??
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Your enthusiasm is infectious, as always. I'm working hard on the upcoming chapters, bouncing around a bit in my scattered state. 12 is pending validation and should be up, hopefully, by mid-week.Thank you again for always bolstering me with such positive feedback. *hugs and other silly drunken behavior*
This is getting vera good
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
*dances with delight* You're still with me! Thank you again for catching that discrepancy a few chapters back. I hope I fixed things up adequately.Thank you for the review! *hugs*
Its getting hot in here, so hot, so take off all your clothes! Sorry...couldn't help myself! What a really good chappie! I don't care what anyone says, I like dream visitations, yea its been done before but....hell whats one more time! after all its not the type of wand you use, it how you weild it ( I think I spelled that right) Good Job and I am surely looking foward to more!!Thanks, Linwe
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
*hugs* I wub woo! It's "wield" by the way.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Ohhh yeah, much more to come. I've got something truly wrong planned for a rendition of the "First-years speech." You're gonna love it!
I think the explanation for your character is a good one. Sometimes, I'll admit, she did seem like supergirl, but now that we are learning more of her past and flaws, it's so much more acceptable. Things are coming together nicely.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
I hadn't realized how I would turn readers off with the character initially looking "all-powerful." Being the author I know what's up with her and what's going on "behind the scenes" so when I read it I see something different. It's an act. She is hiding a lot and trying to make herself look "all that." She knows she's not, and as more chapters go up everyone will see how flawed she is (or at least stop calling her a Mary-Sue, I hope. Gads I hate that). It's all about being a perfectionist (I know I'm one). I like my OFCs human. But part of being human is making mistakes. I think her attitude and secrets might just hurt her more than she realizes. So many secrets...Thank you for all the positive and constructive feedback! *hugs*southern_witch_69's response: Readers, self included, are just too impatient to get it all out in the open. LOL... Patience is a virtue. ;)
I've not noticed any glaring grammatical errors as per the review on here. I suppose it depends on preference, as they said. Anyway, I have to second that this OFC is thoroughly defined and obviously thought out. Most that I come across don't have so much depth and backstory. Keep up the good work.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
*drowning in all the praise* You do realize this makes me want to spend all my time writing now? Thank you so much! I really have tried to make my OFC well rounded and 3-dimensional. As I think I mentioned before she is based partially on a real-life friend who is every bit as complex as the character. Thank you again! *hugs*
All I can say is ... wow... it's hot in here. Very nicely done, dear. I like dream meetings. Teeehee...
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
*blushes* Thank you, thank you, thank you! High praise indeed!
I have been try to read this story and get into it but I just cant get pass your original character. She is just too perfect from her size to her abilities. I won't use the Mary Sue term but its a close call. I would have stopped reading sooner but I wanted to see if someone would finally put her in her place.When she used her skills to show up the children was the last straw for me. If someone like an american can have such skills and those types of wands, so could the Order and Aurors which would make their jobs easier. It just doesnt sit with me well. Nobody has shields that good even Dumbledore like when he fought against Voldemort. Neither did. Its a magical world not a physical worldThis character would be better suited in an original story with a woman heroine instead of here. You have a great writing ability so dont think that I dont appreciate your ability. I just like a more normal character who have faults and normal abilities like all else.Good luck with the rest but I will not be following
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
*runs off to beat up her 7 beta-faries* You have several very valid points. I've done a re-write of the chapter to hopefully rectify these problems. I'm not divulging the secrets of her wands just yet as that comes out in a later chapter which also explains why no one else would really want to do what she did to disable summoning spells on her wands.The shielding issue is now a non-issue *raps beta-faires on backs of heads*. Won't come up again.Showing up the children? Gads, I didn't mean it to play off like that. I just wanted to get across the idea that she has something to contribute.As to someone having multiple incredible abilities... The character is actually based off a real-life person I know who was a martial arts world champion and is currently a compound archery world champion. So it is actually possible, as my friend does exist (and she's built like the proverbial "brick house" to boot *curses her luck*).I'm sorry I've put you off. I hope you will read the revamped chapter. If it is still not to your tastes, again I'm sorry. I've tried to address the issues you've brought to my attention and for that I am grateful.
Response from snapes_faerie (Reviewer)
I will go read it again and am glad that you are not up set about what I said I have to go to class but will catch up tonight hopefully
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
I've added a LOT to upcoming chapters in response to your criticisms and hopefully the explanations allay your concerns. I think I was trying to draw out the mystery a bit too far. Chapter 8 will explain her appearance in greater depth. There's a good deal of backstory there.No, I'm not upset by what you had to say. I welcome sincere and valid criticism, which is exactly what you gave me. In response to someone else's review I asked that I be called on making the character "unbelievable." You did that. Sometimes it is too easy to let your imagination run away and you don't realize just how far you've strayed from your chosen path. I really, truly hope the character and story make more sense now. I hate losing readers because I screwed up, especially when it's fixable.I had to laugh that it was my beta fairy that got all huffy about the criticism as I whapped her for not doing her job and alerting me before I posted.Happy re-reading and thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts. Too few people are brave enough to speak up.
This is a wonderfully strong original character, and I enjoyed this chapter a lot. I will be looking forward to seeing where this story goes.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Thank you for the compliment. In Shaluinn I've tried to create a character who has a strong, indepedent, personality, yet is still feminine. It is often hard to strike a believable balance between the "Zena Warrior Princess," who is able to hold her own against strong males, and the "damsel in distress," who is always needing to be saved. The character is largely based on an extraordinary, and very real, person I know. If I end up taking her in an "unbelievable" direction, please nudge me back on the straight and narrow.
For the Krum part, I was like, "WTF is Snape doing there? Thought he was off flying?" LOLI don't blame Snape for ... investigating further. teehee
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Oh, it is SO gratifying to know that my misdirect worked!!! *hugs* Thank you! *snicker* I couldn't resist the baby-crack-plot-bunny's gender bender. I mean, really, if you were a guy transformed into a girl wouldn't you be just a bit curious???Thank you so much for stopping in and leaving a review!
Ok, sorry, forgot to rate you fic, I am so the absent minded professor!! My humble appologies.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Awwww. I wub woo!
Wow! That was so great! I had really thought it was Snape instead of Victor in the hallway, the whole time I was thinking WTF! How'd he get in there?? Good twist! Its good she now has to tell Minerva about her Leukemia. She needs for someone to know. To have some kind of support. Its a good thingI am waiting for my next up date please! Awsome job with the gender bending BTW. ;) Cant wait for more!
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Thank you for dropping by. So I actually had you fooled with the Snape/Krum thing? Excellent. I was going through GoF and saw the similarities in their appearances and just had to play a bit.Glad you liked the gender-bender. I blame Lotm entirely for giving me the courage to shine daylight on my depraved crack-smoking plot-bunnies.I'm working on the next chapter and with people like you on my butt it will be ready by mid-week.Don't mind me... I'm in a "mood."
And another chapter of suspenceful goodness! Has chapter 14 been submitted? Huh?! Huh?! I know I've read it, but I want to come here and read it. It's just that good!By the way, I do not say such things as "Bwahbwahbwah…" It's more of a "Bwahhhaahhabaaahhh..." I'm just saying... Cheers!
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Do I need to beat you, my dearest beta-fairy? Of course 14 has been submitted. Waiting on validation now. Couldn't have done it without your somewhat dubious help. No, I'm kidding! You are the best and you keep me in line. This fic wouldn't have gone anywhere without you! *huggles* I wub woo!
Another amazing chappie!! Congrats to you and keep up the good work! I just loved the part with the sliding glass door! Priceless! And what is up with Hoochie??? hhmmm she's being a bit too nosy. I guess we shall see what she's up to.. Oh and thanks for the mention, Those two really have messed up the kitchen more than once, but hey, you really can't stay mad at them in all their elvie goodness......aaaahhh twins!
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Hoochie? *snickering* The next chapter just got finished and sent off to the beta. Lots of things will come to light... Stay tuned! Thank you for another great review!
Love this character so far. Have you read 'The ancient future' by Traci Harding. She reminds me of the heroine in that story. Tough and feisty. Hate swearing, but in this it just seems to fit. Also love the intro dialogue...crazy!Keep up the great work, your descriptions are really vivid. Feels like I am actually there. One thing that people compromise on in fanfic is describing the scenery. Love that you have taken the time and effort to thoroughly describe her surroundings. Can't wait for the next installment - and the countdown to meeting Snape.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Sorry about the swearing, but I'm glad you found it fit. I am articulate enough I can express myself without profanity, but where I have used it in the fic, it was meant to have a purpose. That is exactly what I was going for. I'm glad you like the way I present the disclaimers. I got the idea from a friend and make the disclaimers have their own ongoing (and hopefully funny) mini-plot.I am several chapters ahead in writing so I update at least once a week. Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter... It's gonna be... interesting...Thank you SO much for such a lovely review! *hugs*
Love it!! really good chappie!! we are finding out more and more about her. I can't wait to see how this is going to come togather more. More please, please, please.;) SB
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
I love positive feedback. But you already know that. Thank you! With the next chapter this fic will earn its rating...
First off I love the password to her quarters!! I'm sure Glory got a chuckle out of that too! Poor sevvie! Just now being able to grieve, I sure hope he kicks the shit outta that bitch belitrix, I really don't like her at all!!I still havent' figured out her alement, Its probably staring me right in the face LOL just not seeing it. Anywho, on with the next great chappie!!
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Serenity... I just know that's you... As always, thank you for your encouraging and appreciative feedback.*hugs*
The description of her quarters was very nice. That carpet would make me want to sleep on the floor too. Your descriptions painted a picture in my mind and allowed me to "feel" the scene as though I were there. Wonderful!
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Feeling as well as vision was exactly what I was going for. Thank you for letting me know I succeeded! *hugs all around*
I?m interested so far, but I?ve found several grammatical errors as well as some awkward language in the descriptions. Maybe that?s just a personal preference, but nonetheless.
I am surprised you don?t have more reviews. OC?s in HP can be difficult to pimp since people are so fixated on the canon characters. Although, I have to say that this is one of the best OC?s I?ve seen enter into the HP universe. Even if she has some blatant HP Sue qualities (American, physically and magically superior, etc) it is easy to see through to the character you?ve created.
I look forward to reading more. This story is the first addition to my favorites list.
BTW, I?m glad I?m not your beta. I?ve never seen a writer badmouth their beta like that in response to a review. Granted, you didn?t say anything terrible, but you?re the writer. You?re responsible for the content you post. I didn?t even notice a mention of a beta, so they don?t get any credit and then they get disparaged for their work? I?d hate to see the writers I beta for treat me like that if I made a mistake.
Anyway, nice story. I found it poignant that both Snape and Shaluinn should break down, together but separate. I look forward to seeing where these characters go, and what?s going to happen when they finally meet.
Response from Shanastay (Author of The Lies You Tell Yourself)
Grammatical errors? Hmmm. Would you mind at all sending me a PM pointing them out? I think my writing style may be to blame for that problem.I'm glad you like Shaluinn. I'm trying to stay away from HP Sue characteristics as much as I can but I do subscribe to the theory of "write what you know." Being an American myself I made the OC American as I don't feel qualified to create a British character believably. I simply don't know enough. As to being physically superior, I'm guessing you're referring to her taking down Hermione and Ron? Please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not trying to portray her as superior, rather she was able to gain the upper hand, having training and skills the others don't. If she's not very careful she's gonna get her ass handed to her rather easily. As it's coming out in later chapters, you'll hopefully see that a lot of what she's doing is acting.Magically surperior? She's not, or at least I didn't write her to be. I know somewhere I had her actually say she's not qualified to teach them (Golden Trio) anything magically related. She's good in certain areas and can do things some people can't just because she approaches things from a different angle and has had different/unique training. She only beat the Golden Trio in that short-lived duel because she got DAMN LUCKY. That's how I intended it anyway. She's really just a pawn in the game, and doesn't actually understand the role she's meant to play.As to my betas, what I wrote was actually one of their ideas. When I sent off a copy of the review she wrote back, "You gonna beat us with a hard-cover book now since you got hit with a book-spine last week?" She was kidding, and knew I was joking around. I didn't intend for it to come off as badmouthing my betas, especially since they didn't take it that way at all. Whole thing has actually become a massive running joke with them putting all kinds of outrageous suggestions into our correspondence. But seriously, I'm sorry if I offended you. That particular review led to a nice conference where we all discussed and elaborated on our expectations for each other (I beta stuff for them as well as they beta me). I realize I am responsible for what I write. I guess the lot of us just have a really twisted sense of humor. (Maybe that's why we all get along... hmmmm...) And the primary beta actually appears in the disclaimers per her preference *coughKimcough* the rest aren't actually betas, just dear friends who like to have a first look at everything I write, and in return throw their honest opinions my way. They like to stay under the radar just in case I manage to stick my foot in my mouth all the way to my kneecaps (which it seems I have managed). They've never gotten huffy about my criticism, they actually got pissy about what another reviewer wrote. The comment being, "You're taking this a lot better than we would."I'm really glad you liked the parallels I'm drawing between Snape and Shaluinn. It's partly coincidence and partly, maybe, something else.Thank you for the feedback. I hope I have cleared up any confusion I inadvertantly caused.