A Restitution of Sorts, a Runespoor, and the Horklump
Chapter 18 of 22
nagandsevAfter receiving a warning from Lucius, Severus is given detention with Nagini and Pettigrew in the Forbidden Forest; after being separated, a Runespoor and an unusual Horklump catapult events forward.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
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Of all the trees that grow so fair,
Old England to adorn,
Greater are none beneath the Sun
Than Oak and Ash and Thorn.
(Puck of Pook's Hill, by Rudyard Kipling, 1906)
oOoOoOo
"When I said you needed a distraction...when I asked you to keep an eye on Nagini, I didn't mean for you to...," Lucius searched for the right phrase, his cool grey eyes peering into Severus' black ones, deliberating his choice of words, "get involved with her intimately."
Snape didn't blink or move but sat stiffly in his Head Boy's plush armchair that graced Lucius' Prefects' quarters. As if he'd been Petrified, he stared back solemnly at Malfoy, masking well his inner thoughts.
Lucius sighed heavily, and his lips pursed tightly as he made his decision. "Severus, I've been more than generous with favours to you all these years," he put his hand up in defense as he pressed his point, "of my own accord, and I've had no regrets... until now."
The blond wizard slowly walked over to his ample bed and began to undress in front of the taciturn housemate. When bare from the waist up, Lucius flicked back his long hair, turning around to Snape, and pointed out matter-of-factly, "She's been marked by and for others. So stop before you continue anything further." He crossed over to in front of Severus and sat on the edge of his massive writing table, bracing himself so that his muscular arms flexed in his pose, and whispered fiercely, "Immediately!"
Severus had learned well to parry and ignore Lucius in all of his dubious, duplicitous ways and intentions.
Lucius ran a hand through his hair and gave Severus a challenging look. "Well? Say something, Snape!" He impatiently sniffed. "I'll take your silence as a complete agreement."
Still, Snape sat without moving or speaking. Seconds went by in silence. Lucius began to glare at him and his jaw clenched in growing tension. "Rodolphus... and the Dark Lord have claimed her..."
Severus croaked out, "She chose me! Nagini chose me!" His voice was weak, but his eyes flashed in anger at Malfoy.
Lucius jolted up and paced around, clenching and unclenching his fist. "What I'm about to say, I mean with all sincerity for your well-being, Snape." Lucius noted that Severus' eyes now gleamed with attention. "Don't. Be. Stupid."
To emphasise his point, he grabbed Severus by the arm. "Nothing and no one is worth risking the displeasure of the Dark Lord."
Severus snarled, "Even Narcissa?"
Lucius' eyes narrowed. "Cissy is not your concern." His expression hardened. "Just as Nagini is not your concern."
Feeling an innate, cruel urge to push his point, Malfoy reminded Severus, "She wears their cursed ring...bewitched until Lestrange has had her." His grip tightened so much that Severus winced, and Lucius continued, "It was either Nagini or... Narcissa, in repayment of my... access to Bella. A reciprocity of sorts." He gave Severus a defiant look. "You will not interfere with their intentions regarding Nagini. Your path and hers are never to cross other than as schoolmates in Hogwarts...do you understand me? Her path has been decided upon by others, and it has nothing to do with you."
A soft knock on the door caused Lucius to loosen his grip on Snape's arm, as well as soften his voice, as the blond wizard repeated, "Do you understand, Severus?"
The knock became louder, more insistent.
"There's always Guinevere, willing and able to amuse you... or...," a caustic sneer appeared on Lucius' face, "or your little Mudblood...one swish of your wand and Evans is yours." Impulsively, Malfoy offered, "I'll do it for you..."
"Lucius..." The voice was heard from the door, which opened slowly, and Severus turned to see who was entering, his pulse racing in expectation of coming face to face with Lestrange and feeling a wild surge to strangle him. But it wasn't Rodolphus who slipped in and stopped in the doorway...it was Regulus Black.
Dressed in a sleeping robe, Regulus stared at Severus in surprise.
Malfoy huffed, miffed and restless. Shooting Snape an indignant look, he motioned to Regulus, saying, "Come on in. Snape was just leaving."
As Black casually sauntered over and lazily stretched out on the bed, Lucius reminded Snape as he left, "You've been warned."
A lump in his throat, Severus gave his two Slytherin housemates a fleeting glance before he left without further ado, leaving Lucius and Regulus to their own devices and privacy.
*************
It wasn't the Forbidden Forest's undergrowth that raked Nagini's nerves, nor even the incessant, nervous chirping of Peter Pettigrew pecking away at her patience as they brushed and poked under thick shrub growth in the moonlight, searching for mutant Horklumps.
The main part of her irritation was the cursed ring on her finger annoying her; it had been tightening on and off all evening, and she had an almost uncontrollable need to scratch around it. In order not to rub her skin raw, whenever she felt the urge to dig her nails into the skin around the metal, she would fiddle with her mother's necklace, which she wore to distract from the horrid ring.
But on top of this, more intensely bothering her and putting her nerves on edge, was Severus' changed behaviour these past few days. Something was wrong, very wrong, and she couldn't put her finger on it, but his apparent avoidance of her confused her. Whenever she saw him, his eyes looked at her just as intensely as when he had kissed her, but ever since the evening of the ambush by Belby and the Gryffindors, ever since he had said goodnight afterwards and kissed her goodbye in front of the Ravenclaw door, his demeanour was stiff, formal...cold.
Trying to catch him privately to talk, she had lingered down beside Ravenclaw Tower's steps in the evenings this past week as long as allowed, hoping that he would make a secret appearance. That not happening, Nagini had loitered after classes in the corridor leading to the Slytherins' dungeons and dawdled in the Great Hall after each meal, watching and hoping that they could both accidentally-on-purpose meet each other. But nothing had occurred. They had only exchanged a few brief greetings in the hallways between classes, and 'I'll contact you when I can' was all Severus had further offered her in a quick hushed whisper two days ago.
So when Professor Flitwick announced that her detention would be that Saturday evening with the other guilty students, she couldn't wait. At least I'll be able to talk to Severus and find out what's wrong, what's troubling him!
Their detention to look for and gather magical fungi this night under Hagrid's charge was monotonous, but having been paired up with Pettigrew while Hagrid kept Severus with him was more and more tediously taxing. "Best not to put yer and Severus together, yer see, nor Severus and yer," Hagrid had informed her as well as the nervous Gryffindor, who was glancing back and forth from Severus to Nagini.
"Now, yeh lot'll be collectin' these mutated sorts o' Horklumps, well, all kinds...whatever yeh find...Madam Pomfrey needs their juice fer her healin' potions. The thing is, they grow in dark clumps; yeh'll be manually diggin' and pullin' 'em out o' the ground under shrubs and whatnot. It's dirty, hard work, but someone's got ter do it." He gave them a knowing look. "And that someone is yeh three. Plus me and Fang. We'll divide up."
Hagrid gave Pettigrew a supportive look and then turned to Nagini. "Sirius told me that yer good around snakes. If yeh run into any errant Streelers or Runespoors, yeh'll know what ter do," he pointed out, giving Nagini a nod.
"Why would Black say that?" she asked defensively.
"You're a Parseltongue!" squeaked Pettigrew. "I heard you. We all did..."
"And where exactly are the other Gryffindors?" asked Severus through gritted teeth, cutting him off.
"Oh, they'll be doin' a separate detention, once Lupin is up and about. There were six o' yeh, so the professors decided to split yeh up in two groups o' three. And I decided to split us up in two groups o' two." He gave Fang a fond look. "Well, two and a half and two."
Severus made a derisive sound, which Hagrid ignored as he announced, "So it'll be yeh and me, Severus, with Fang. Peter, yeh with Nagini. Extra points if yeh come across a Velebetian Horklump," he handed out huge canvas-clothed sacks to each of them, "and after yeh've unearthed them one by one, toss 'em into yer bag. We'll meet back here at dawn."
"At dawn?" squeaked Pettigrew. "But that m-means we'll be here all night." He peered around into the murky forest apprehensively.
"Well, yeh should o' thought o' the consequences o' yer actions before goin' around throwin' hexes at each other. As if yeh haven't better things ter do." Then Hagrid, with Fang beside him, turned around and headed off in one direction, only to stop and call out, "Come along, Severus!"
Nagini's heart leapt and then fell as Severus only gave her a quick glance, but not a word, before following Hagrid, leaving her feeling worse and full of more doubts than ever before.
********
And so it was that hours later, after Nagini and Peter had slowly sauntered deeper into the Forbidden Forest's woods, they managed to find a thick growth of Horklumps and proceeded to root them out of the dark earth under the bright moon's light. Well, Nagini was doing it; after two or three samples, Pettigrew sat lazily on a half-rotten log lying in front of what appeared to be a circular thicket of yew trees behind him.
Nagini pulled the muddy fungus she had her fingers wrapped around, carefully feeling and gripping around its tentacles with her other hand, and gave Peter an annoyed look. She huffed and gave another tug, unearthing it. "You're supposed to be helping me, Pettigrew! Our detention remember?"
"But you're doing such a fine job without me," commented the smug Gryffindor.
"You think you're so clever, don't you?" she quipped, throwing the Horklump in her half-full bag.
Peter said in a small voice, "Well, I am. I'm more clever than you know."
Nagini frowned. "Alright, so you're clever. Now, will you help me? The sooner we collect enough, the sooner we can finish this and go back and wait for them. Your bag is practically empty, in case you were too clever to notice."
Peter opened his mouth to retort but stopped, frozen, as a soft hissing was heard, followed quickly by two other hisses.
Runespoors! thought Nagini, recognising their distinct sounds immediately.
"Pettigrew, don't move! Just be still." She took a step closer to him and saw the magical creature behind the boy's back. She concentrated and softly hissed, asking the Runespoor to move away and leave him alone, telling it that they meant no harm.
The three-headed serpent agreed and then unexpectedly gave Nagini advice. "Yonder where the yew trees fork, a rare Horklump lays... In the heart of the blackthorn tree, one Horklump like none other! Take it, and you'll need no other... It's medicinal juice is the rarest of the rare... but you must be quick! It's magical power is so great that it can will itself to move through space! Hurry!"
"How did you know we were looking for Horklumps?"
"We've been watching you," said the centre head of the Runespoor, "You humans are a loud, noisy lot... but you are not all human, are you, my dear?" And with that, the three-headed creature slithered off, leaving Nagini unnerved by its last comment.
Looking alarmed, then relieved, Peter gasped, "You saved me! What...what did you say?"
Nagini blinked in thought, still stunned by what the Runespoor had just said, and then slowly she answered, "I just told it to leave you alone and go about its business."
"And it did it? It listened to you? Just like that?" Pettigrew stood and looked Nagini up and down, as if seeing her for the first time. "You're that powerful? I owe you..."
Nagini felt a sick feeling in her chest, seeing him gawp at her in awe. "I'm not powerful!" she snapped. "I'm just a regular parseltongue...I'm normal. It's not a big deal." She hurried to point out, "You don't owe me anything...just help me, follow me...stay by my side before something else almost happens to you." Nagini gave her half-filled sack a tug and hitched it over her shoulder. "This way."
Gods, how she wanted this night to end! She wanted to find and get this special Horklump, return to the meeting point, and hoped that if what the Runespoor said was true, the rare medicinal fungus would appease Madam Pomfrey and help refill her stock enough to not have to ever repeat this detention. She would think more about her interaction with the Runespoor later, for most of all she just wanted to hurry back and have some private time with Severus before returning to the castle. She felt like she would never be alone with him again.
She stepped through the yew tree thicket with Pettigrew near her, and they found themselves upon a bare, open patch of grass, circularly surrounded by the evergreen grove...except for one very different tree.
"Look!" exclaimed Pettigrew, seeing the object of interest before she did. Across from them, a gleam of gold shone brightly in the moonlight. The Gryffindor bounded towards a gnarled old blackthorn tree incongruously standing twisted and sinister within the yew circle. In the centre of the ancient tree was a large golden mushroom-like object.
"Wait, Pettigrew! Don't touch it!"
"You want it all for yourself?"
"Don't be stupid...it might be poisonous! I've never seen one of these in Professor Sprout's class, have you?"
Pettigrew stopped in his tracks, conceding, and waited until Nagini caught up with him; they both cautiously approached the tree until they stood before the golden entity.
"Is it...?" The runt of a young wizard raised himself on his tiptoes to see better. "A Velebetian Horklump? I don't know what one looks like."
"Neither do I," whispered Nagini and squinted as she observed it closer. The Horklump had what appeared at first to be the typical black bristles which usually covered and identified it. "It's not poisonous because it has the dark bristles..." She poked it with her finger for good measure. Then she touched it more gently. Its texture was soft and its skin shiny. Nothing happened.
But as she stood face to face with the fleshy fungus, studying it, she saw that the black patterns weren't just inlaid bristles but were tiny lines of... Runic symbols? She whispered, "It seems to be..." Nagini stopped and tried to remember what she had learned thus far from studying Runes and world Runology. No... it's a... a saying or a spell of sorts... But some of these runic patterns... It's not a Nordic one, but it's a... Witches in England would place them on objects in olden times for... protection? She sighed, frustrated. Where are Xenophilius and Hibiscus when I need them?
Suddenly, staring at the Runic symbols, Nagini remembered a childhood rhyme:
Evil return to the one who sent thee
For me and mine are now set free
No, not a rhyme... a spell? Her forehead furrowed in thought. She scrunched her eyes as images unexpectedly flashed in her mind: her mother's face, green light from a spell being cast, and then, she saw Dymphna...her old caretaker's face and voice were sensed so strongly, as if she was standing near, whispering the words into Nagini's ear. She closed her eyes, simultaneously touching and holding the necklace Dymphna had given her from her mother so long ago, and whispered aloud:
Evil return to the one who sent thee
For me and mine are now set free
No hurt nor harm can enter here
For my life and way are now made clear.*
"Here now, what are you up to?" asked Peter nervously.
Nagini's eyes flew open, and she reached up and touched the protruding symbol. She pulled at the fungus; its texture seemed to toughen under her touch. But also it appeared to move a wee bit. She felt compelled to tug at it, loosen it more. But it still wouldn't come out. "Pettigrew, help me. Just tug on that side, and I'll tug on this one...we have to pull as many of its tentacles out as possible to detach it!"
They worked their fingers around and under the exotic magical fungus, huffing and puffing until, simultaneously, they pulled it out. Holding it together, admiring the mesmerising golden Horklump, they barely realised what they had done when a flash of light burst forth from it, and they were Portkeyed away to a spelled destination.
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A/N: *A Celtic Protective Spell from The Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, as contributed by Jacqueline Paterson, date unknown.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Nagini and Severus Tale
77 Reviews | 8.27/10 Average
WOW. You just left me speechless.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback, truly appreciate it!
Phew... I got so engrossed reading the chapters one after the other that I just forgot to review! This chapter was amazing... I particularly liked (I know that's not an appropriate word here) the interaction between Lily and Sev... it seemed like a missing page from the JKR books... thanks for rediscovering it for us! Also enjoyed the really adorable first kiss:)... Looking forward to a beautiful relationship that would heal two scarred hearts!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this, and so happy that you are enjoying it--had to explore some interaction between him and Lily as she was so influential on him... Needed to explore what a first kiss would be like between these two at this point, so I'm happy that it came across as intended. Again, thank you for reading and your feedback, truly appreciate it!
It's such an amazingly original idea to portray Nagini as a Malfoy girl who is so different from the rest of her family! I wonder where the Malfoys got that name from, though! Nagini is the Sanskrit word for a female serpent and I have been traditionally intrigued by Jo's choice of name for Voldie's serpent! :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading, truly appreciate it! This was my first attempt into the wonderful universe of HP fanfiction💕Hmm... I'm trying to finish off the last chapters, so since meeting you, maybe I can write in some justification for the name... At this point, I can't change her biological origin for this tale... but maybe her mother traveled to India when in hiding from Voldy, before becoming impregnated, and became inspired/enlightened by some Sanskrit parchments she came across... hmmm, I'll reflect on it--and dedication to you!:-)Thank you again!
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Lol! That's again an amazing idea. And that would explain a lot of things too, considering that a Nagini (in the Hindu mythology context) is often capable of changing into a beautiful (and often potentially dangerous) human female. Could our Nagini be like that? Well, we have to find out!:)
PS: I think I NOW know the reason for your unique penname!:)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
In gratitude for assistance offered, namaste,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Ah, namaste dear!
A chapter of action and revelations.For this chapter, the snake bearer arises and the snake in two parts is a symbol of duplicity.Damphna and Lucretia betray Grindewald.Severus demonstrates himself worthy of the Dark Lord who he now hates and will soon plan to betray.Nagini accepts becoming a hit witch, joining those who killed her caretaker, but possiby planning revenge against their leader.Nagini compartmentalizing her life, fooling herself.One might make a wild guess on first reading canon that Severus's cruelty is a mask and reaction against his caring nature, betraying himself.The perspicacious Narcissa is shocked at her own fate.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this and for your generous feedback in the review--it means so very much to me, truly deeply value and appreciate you taking the time to let me know what is coming across in this long-winded tale! The next chapter will continue to push the action and further revelations, I hope to answer most if not all of the back/side story of Lucretia, Dymphna, Grindewald, Abraxas, etc. , as well (if I can get it 'right') as moving on with the Nag, Sev, Narcissa, et alia in the present/main storyline. I'm realising that instead of one more chapter, I'll need at least three... Yes, canon Severus seems to have worn many masks, hiding (and yes, absolutely, betraying) his caring nature and yet wishing for something elusive and/or embittered/consumed by the lack of it, or 'a man hagridden by the future' (interpreted by me as 'tormented by his life') as the singular C.S. Lewis described some, etc. Yes, Nagini is in a fluctuating state--her decision(s) to be made in the next chapter. And Narcissa... as revealed by the end of the HP canon, she (along with Severus) had the power to deceive and conceal her thoughts and feelings from Voldemort himself, let alone Severus, Lucius, Bellatrix... She is one of the many underwritten characters in fanfic imho, and I'll try not to get too derailed from the main plot with her--lol!--she just preoccupies me sometimes, and I wanted to give a nod to her and her predicament/fate. Again, thank you so very much for your thoughts and observations, can't quite find the proper words to thank you enough... Wishing you all the best, now and for the New Year!
The impression is that of a bridging chapter, but one where emotions are gathering below the surface and getting ready to explode.Deprived of nurturing when young, Severus clings to any sign of friendship and romance. Does that explain his continued attachment to Lily even though he has found Nagini? He could sneer and say Lily got the prat she deserved.Finally get a hint at what Nagini's mother did - excessive ambition and pride, a Frankenstein scenario.Would a memory loss obliterate her attraction to Severus? It appears to be returning at the end.Bit of irony having Pandora warn Xenophilius about being cautious with spells.Dumbledore takes Nagini away from people who would be her friends and who can even admire her mother although they would say her mother did transgress if they learned what she had done. He dumps her among her tormentors.As always, clear elucidation of complex plot and characters.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, truly, deeply appreciate it! Yes, things are about to explode, in the next chapter, exactly, on several levels. It seems that Severus has a deep unreasonable fixation attachment to Lily, truly obssessed with her from early in his life--an obsession that carved a deep groove within that he blindly associates with a kind of 'goodness' he had never known, being deprived so as he was... He seems to have had very limited exposure--his persistent preoccupations with people will be explored and highlighted in the remaining chapters--but I agree and perhaps he will put Lily and her prat in a box, label it, and throw it away on an old shelf to rot.:-)Yes, more explicit information and details of Nagini's mother's actions (and others) in the next chapter, her and her cronies' endless sub-plot laid out fully and put to rest. Nagini's memory loss will be shown to have been selective, obliterated selectively, and the question of can an emotion 'record' be stronger than a mental record, either exist without the other, or will one enhance and strengthen the other to full retainment? Yes, perhaps bad taste about the Pandora and Xeno comment about dubious, untested spells--but I couldn't resist... I meant it as more bitter irony, as Luna's mother could only have been quite a unique persona, such a shame she died the way she did.Keenly seen by you, Dumbledore's plans for Nagini will be to prove a point of his, one of several actually, without leniency, an 'all or nothing' scenario... All the loose ends will be tied together--currently working on the last three chapters, simultaneously--lol! (will ty to get them down to maybe two if I can compact the narrative and dialogues and tie together everything... We'll see). Thank you again for your incredible feedback and inspiring observations--nourishment for the Muse, and always deeply grateful,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
The irony about Pandora is not in bad taste at all. It says she is more concerned about Xenopilius thqn about herself. It is a rich chapter with more than mentioned in the review: Narcissa steps forward, the contrast of the schoolboy bullying of Sirius with the adult evil of Lucius, the portrait of Slughorn eager not to ruffle powerful feathers.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for contnuing to read and for the generous feedback,
Thank you for another wonderful chapter!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for reading this and the review--truly appreciate your kind feedback!
A seemingly straight-forward chapter but numerous undercurrents are playing themselves out.
How did the Dark Lord and company know they would be gathering horklumps? The runespoor is replaying the Garden of Eden. What is Rodophus's interest in Nagini? Anything besides lust? (It's been a long time since I read the previous chapters.) Dumbledores's reason for keeping Nagini away from the Malfoys may be to keep her away from their evil influence when the intent should be to protect her.
There does seem to be a belief running through magic fiction that once touched by the Dark, a person is not redeemable. (I am reminded of the oath required of all US Civil Servants: "I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party.")
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
McNair, Nott, Goyle, and Regulus are acting like adolesents, which they are. Narcissa and Bellatrix are coquetes, each in her own way. Lucius is acting mature, partly because he has been trained to do so and partly because in is in the throes of romance, which everyone knows and accepts. Nagini is flustered. Severus is acting mature, but no one takes exception to this, which is odd because adults do not take kindly to an adolescent not acting his age.Severus wants to oomfort Nagini, but he only plans to ease her hurt after Abraxas has finished with her. He does not plan to protect her by confronting or eliminating Abraxas. Similarly, Lucius wants Narcissa to acknowledge the Dark Lord. Power and the social order are dominant. Are the men correct? Would they be able to neither have nor help Nagini and Narcissa if they did not first secure their place in the social order?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback--truly appreciate it! Yes, in the world of this story, power and social order are dominant; without securing one's place in the present social order, Severus' power, his lacking social order power, at this point in his life, leaves him helpless to act effectively--how his impulses or wishes would otherwise act... thus, perhaps, motivating him to attain social power at any cost (blindly, being still a youth) in order to be more effective, and have the so-called freedom to take matters into his own hands...At this point, the futility of confronting or attempting to eliminate Abraxas would not be wise... It's one thing to see the signs of domestic abuse and another to act upon it immediately on the behalf of someone he has just become acquainted with in the rigid perimeters of his world. Lucius is his father's son... and all the cliches that go with 'the apple not falling far from the tree', etc. Again, thank you!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
You are correct. The review was too focused on the similarities of Nagina and Narcissa, and it sounded too harsh. Even in more normal circumstances, a well-intentioned intervention can cause more harm than good.
The chapter presents the Malfoys as cold, calculating, and treacherous, but they are not caricatures. Their motivation is power: personal, family, class. Abraxas is one who is too extreme or too inflexible - in some ways a tragic figure. Nagini's mother suggests he is goaded by fear. Perhaps his behavior can be explained by the absence of the Midas stone, which would bring part of the story full circle. Lucius suggests using a display of understanding out of a mix of compassion and strategy. He is so eager to please his father, however, that he presses Nagini too hard and she becomes suspicious and demands a trade of information instead of freely giving it - a price for his mistake.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
More will come out a bit later about Abraxas and the crux of the matter, way back when, between him, his sister and Riddle. And yes, power is meant to be their driving force; I still wanted Lucius to be 'in process' of becoming 'a slippery' agent, not yet as polished as the adult canon, yet, but he learns/he'll learn quickly from his mistakes... Thank you for continuing to read this and the insightful feedback, affirming what is coming across--truly appreciate it!
This chapter brings out the cruelty of the young who are still finding their way and the friendship-rivalry between Severus and Regulus And, of course, the ambivalent feelings of Severus, Regulus, Lucius, and Nagini. This is contrasted with the attitude of Abraxas who could have had a powerful ally in Nagini if he had been more flexible. Perhaps ambivalence isn't all bad. It was quite a bit to pack into one chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for continuing to read and the feedback! Yes, I wanted to touch upon the seeds of cruelty manifested in earlier forms in them, and try to convey the different kinds of ambivalence they are each feeling at this time in their lives, now being forced to respond to people/things they haven't before. Abraxas is quite rigid and decisive, hardened by the past and resolute on how he wants/demands his world to be for the future. Thank you again!
An impressive chapter. Good portraits done in a subtle manner - both characters and relationships. Nagini still immature and impulsive.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for the read and the feedback! I was trying to set up the Slytherins and their very 'mature', polished and ordered world that Nagini has been plunged into versus her disordered, unpolished and impulsive nature and background... Thank you again for the specific feedback, truly appreciate it!
Continued, unrelenting portrait of the Malfoys.
There is some inner core of Nagini that that affects even Abraxas.
Not certain about Hagrid's comment on Nagini just being let out since I though she had already spent the autumn at school.
The Malfoys gaining their wealth by a special, magical device fits canon where special, magical devices are important. It also portrays the Malfoys to not be strategic planners since an ancient house of long-lived individuals could gradually accumulate enormous wealth.
There could be more discussion of the accusations against Nagini since it might have been self defense, but self defense not tempered by the self control that the Malfoys appear to lack.
(Still not my type of story, but I can rate it on the basis of imagination and unfolding narrative.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and the specific feedback! You've given me a lot to think about, and how I can clean up or connect more of the narrative logically in Hagrid's comments and other parts; some points I had purposefully left convoluted--lol!--such as more about Nagini's defense, etc., but other points are just sloppy narrative. More clarity will come in the next few chapters about her schooling, about her being in Durmstrang in the autumn-- sorry that the scarceness of this narrative has been left out here, but it'll be detailed in a later chapter... Thank you again for your precious time and patience, and generous rating--it's wonderful to get constructive feedback about such a roughly constructed storyline--I deeply appreciate your input!
Severus does not believe that living well is the best revenge, but for some reason, when confronted with retribution against Nagini for her past wrongs (according to the Malfoys), he is uncomfortable. Perhaps he likes revenge in the abstract, but the reality of it repels him. This is canon Severus where he offers insults and injustice, but protects the students from any real danger. Neither Severus or Regulus approve of the Malfoys. Good portrayal of Malfoy arrogance.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yes, I wanted to capture some level of insecurity and confusion in Severus at this earlier point in his life... before he becomes the full, specific resolved character we experience in adult canon... I felt the need of retribution is playing an influence in him on some levels, abstractly, and the notion of revenge is what has been and will be an influence on him, but yes, the reality is always something different... Severus' duality on so-many levels is something I wanted to explore... I was always profoundly struck by the inherent ethical choices within Severus and Regulus that differed (revealed finally in DH) from the others in Voldemort's followers, etc. Thank you again for your generous feedback.
The narrative begins in-the-middle with a dramatic scene and proceeds to offer some explanation of current events and to suggest underlying motives. (This is not my type of story, but I must rate it as a literary effort.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh goodness,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for your kindness of giving this a read and leaving feedback! I truly appreciate it. However, as if you can't already tell--lol!-- this was my very first, ever, fledgling attempt at writing fanfiction--I had just discovered the wild wayward goings-on and wonderful Potter verse and fandom universe, and it was started and written at an unusually strange time of my life, etc., etc. (further excuses elaborating on exploratory pulp fiction thingys, etc.) It took a very long time to discover one-shots and drabbles in this universe, which I so much enjoy now. So please, especially knowing that it is not your type of story, and it will only get worse in this and other aspects, please don't feel the need to read on--of course, I'm gobsmacked to have a writer of your calibre read and make time to constructively leave feedback, but it may be too painful an experience for you--and I'd much rather your energy go to your own writing and more posting as soon as possible!Again, regardless, thank you for your kindness & consideration with this newbie's noodling(s).
So instead of a lovely outing to Hogsmeade, it's detention with the Gryffindorks for Sev and Nagini? Those Slytherins are a tough bunch to be around, especially when the crazy one is among them. You have Bellatrix spot on- just the right amount of madness combined with malevolence, and her dialogue is perfect - "Miss hoity-toity Malfoy" made me laugh out loud. Poor Nagini just can't find her place -not quite a Ravenclaw and uneasy amongst the Slytherins (well most of them ;)) Looking forward to reading how detention works out. 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks
Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Great characterisation of the Marauders in this chapter, and I loved Snape's impudent request that Potter kneel down and kiss his toes. I'd happily kiss any body part he offered me... Ahem... You conveyed blistering, crackling tension between Snape and his enemies - well done! The scene in the Ravenclaw Tower stairwell provided a wonderful contrast, and Snape's "Brilliant..." declaration was a lovely intimate and adolescent moment which made me smile. No doubt that Nagini's universe has been forever changed by this encounter. Lovely work! 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Oh, I love this chapter. Nagini and Severus' seductive hidey-hole was such a tease Lol! I was ready to scream at those damn Marauders for interupting. But it only added to the tension and made their eventual getting together all the more sensual, and oh was it worth the wait.I loved it all... oh but his baritone voice healing her arm *swoon*- now that's an image I'll remember for a while. I will be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else
Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
More sweet solace please. Pretty please with a cherry on top!That was so sensual. I love the way you took us into Snape's mind and made us privy to all that he was aware of: Nagini's physical response to him, her embarasment and obvious feelings of attraction. I've said it before and I'll say it again, 'What is a spurned wizard to do?'And about that spurning: Ms Evans is more than a little insensitive here, yet I truly believe that canon Lily did not think him capable of love or devotion... well HE showed HER. Pity it was too late.The scene with Snape and Lily sems like a very likely encounter; it could almost be a missing scene. Of course Snape, being Snape focuses his hatred onto James not Lily as if SHE has been Imperiused by the big bad toe-rag. And trust the Marauders to be the instigators of snoggus interutptus. GET EM, SEV!!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
*click* *Click* *CLICK* What? No more? *taps fingers* Pot, meet kettle. :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
I hope Sev really can cope with whatever Bella has up her sleeve. :0
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Sybill is flaky but hilarious. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Marcus is pretty creepy, but in his own way may serve to protect Nagini. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Lovely to see an update on this story 
The scene between Severus and Lily in the library was beautifully choreographed and utterly heartbreaking. I can just imagine such a conversation taking place as a result of his bereavement, but of course Lily managed to pour salt in the wound and give it a rub for good measure. Poor Severus, so blind to the consequences of his decisions and unable to comprehend the error of his ways.I also enjoyed the moments outside the hospital wing with Nagini, despite the rude interruption. Looking forward to finding out who throws the first hex!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
OOOh! nag! VERY hot chapter. Absolutely brilliantly written, full of evocative imagery. Snapes, disappointment and bitterness over Lily and his carnal lust and inability to resist Bella was tangible. I loved this line:"But, like a sinister dream of dark yearning, Bellatrix stood before him." WOW!Then the close with the description of Nagini's sexual fantasies was equally well done because of the contrast between the darkness of Snape and Bella's act and the almost innocence of Nagini's because it was the realisation of genuine feelings of affection towards our hero. Wonderful chapter my dear!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Hexgirl, thank you so much for the lovely, specific feedback - truly appreciate it! Sorry Sev's Slytherin, human side was depicted - he just wasn't in the mood to back down from the wench - and definitely man enough to take her on - LOL! Thank you for the feedback regarding Nagini's sexual awakenings mixed with her awakening feelings for Sev - had to start somewhere - lol! Again, thank you for your support on all levels! xxx
I hope it won't be detrimental to Nagini that she's been put in Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the read and review! Really appreciate the feedback! The Slytherin family members will definitely be irked by this, as well as a few of their cohorts, but there's one Slytherin that's discreetly 'got her back' ;-) Thanks, again!