The Dreadful Dinner Party – Part One
Chapter 7 of 22
nagandsevSeverus and Nagini start becoming aware of each other in a pleasant way, as well as others in unpleasant ones.
********************
Perhaps it was entirely the foul mood lingering on from his afternoon spent at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, or just simply the rumbling of his empty stomach that added to Severus' discomfort and irritation. Severus hungered for something. Anything. Where's the bloody food?
When Walburga Black had one of her 'attacks', the entire household shut down; consequently, neither he nor Regulus had eaten the entire afternoon. In a terse, hushed hurry, Orion had gathered his now slightly sedated wife, Regulus and Severus, and by the time they had arrived at Malfoy Manor, the boys were both highly irritable.
So it was with gritted teeth and unwavering determination to cover his edginess that Severus curtly nodded in agreement to Lucius' fierce whispered order, ''Severus, watch Rodolphus tonight!", accompanied with a fervent glance to Nagini and Rodolphus.
A ravenous pang shot through his gut. Severus looked around the crowded room, determined to find a tray of hors d'oeuvres, either self-hovering or attached to an elf. Finding neither, he turned his attention back to the circle of droll conversation he found himself suffering through.
Only deriving sporadic pleasure from admiring the demure witch he had been commissioned to watch allowed him to civilly nod or comment on the chaff discussion around him. Having purposely placed himself beside Nagini, Severus reflected on how, with momentarily daunted breath, he had watched her enter the room this evening, passing through the gaggle of guests, seemingly unaware of the sporadic sniggers behind her back from the grotesquely animated faces. She had waded through the garish throng of affluent and powerful wizards and witches with Lucius, who strategically halting now and then to receive a greeting, an introduction or congratulations continued making a beeline towards Narcissa as best he could, escorting Nagini beside him.
Over half were supporters of the Dark Lord, and the others, who took for granted their place and influence, supported no one but themselves and the legacy they had been given as descendants of the Knights of Walpurgis. They smelled of old magic; but all smelled of an even more esoteric trait along with their wealth and power: pureblood. With derisory curiosities satisfied once introduced to Nagini, this echelon of pureblood Wizarding society turned to one another to speculate further about the niece of Abraxas Malfoy.
Is she aware of their gandering and gossip? wondered Severus to himself. Perhaps she is aware of it, but merely ignoring it all?
Noticing Nagini giving a troubled look into the oppressive crowd, Severus pondered the cause for her discomfort. What was she concerned about? Did she overhear derogatory remarks about her blood status?
Severus swallowed hard, gazing at Nagini, a fleeting thought crossing his mind: Are you like me? A half-blood?
Nagini was so close that Severus could detect a soft pleasing fragrance around her: Cinammon. And something else... undeniably, a feminine scent. Her scent...
Nagini looked around into the myriad of faces filling the room; not finding whom she sought, her attention returned to the immediate circle, lingering on Severus. The one who entered my mind... Well, I'm ready for him now, she assured herself.
"Yes. Yes, of course. However, it is refutable on several points," remarked the tall dark-haired wizard to Narcissa, and he proceeded to give her examples. Nagini and Severus' eyes met, followed by spontaneous knowing smiles; the discussion at hand was quite absurd, and Severus and she both knew it. Sharing a mutual moment of amusement with Nagini caused a warm surge to sweep through Severus: sensual, soothing and magnetic.
Narcissa had been in a heated disagreement with Guinevere Rookwood over the debatable usages of dragon blood, most of their conversation centring on its questionable usage in fertility rituals. Their opinions were in direct contradiction with one another.
Nagini couldn't tell whether Severus' comments were laced with sarcasm or earnestness, as his eyebrows, raised as if commenting on the ludicrous, belied his smooth voice which she found so compelling. There was something alluring about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on. The curiosity he aroused surprised her. Nagini already knew he was powerful and highly skilled. His excursion into her mind earlier that day bore witness to that, but there had been no pretension or arrogance in his demeanour. He had an ability to exert such power, yet not feel the need to draw attention to it; his modesty and austereness intrigued her.
Narcissa pouted teasingly. "Oh, Severus! You needn't disagree with everything I say!"
"I'm not disagreeing, but rather pointing out indisputable facts regarding ..."
Narcissa burst into laughter. "See? You're doing it again! Can you not not disagree, ever? You're one of the most exasperating men I've ever met ..."
"Good you've worked her up for me!" Lucius had come up beside Narcissa, gliding a hand around her waist. "Now, I get to calm you down," whispered Lucius into Narcissa's ear; he was in a particularly gregarious and, the more he touched Narcissa, amorous mood.
"Can't you get them to quiet down a tad?" Narcissa asked, indicating the raucous group Lucius had left to rejoin her.
Severus turned and caught Rodolphus within his peripheral vision; in sharp contrast to the rowdy group he stood among, Rodolphus was disturbingly quiet. He seemed sublimely subdued, but with a lethal edge.
Letting his gaze travel further, Severus slowly looked around at the loosely serrated circle of Hogwarts' peers mixed with several older guests. Some were dividing their attention between either Narcissa and Lucius, or Bellatrix and Rodolphus. The majority of the latter group, predominantly male, strategically positioned themselves around Bellatrix, who, laying half-reclined on a narrow settee loveseat in the midst of them, was gluttonously soaking up the volatile energy exuded from her admirers.
Peeved, Severus noticed how the vulgar, animated jostling of McNair, Nott and Goyle egging Regulus on was drawing the attention of many guests. In the midst of Bella's admirers stood Regulus, visibly shaking, adrenaline pumping through his veins as Mulciber and other young Death Eaters punched and jabbed at him, animatedly describing the various pleasures of the Imperius curse when used for sexual, fatal tortures on Undesirables and Muggles. The sixteen-year-old was wide-eyed and speechless, just nodding and giving hoarse grunts, mentally logging all the details.
Bellatrix's cackles spontaneously exploded from her when something particularly amusing struck her fancy. But the boisterous rowdiness and excitement was getting out of hand, causing some of the older guests to stop and throw distasteful, quizzical looks at the unruly group.
Narcissa had had enough.
"Lucius!" pleaded Narcissa with a forced smile covering her simmering anger, then insisting urgently, "You must control them. Now, Lucius!"
"They're just letting off some steam, excitement for tonight."
"Yes," she hissed. "But it was to be a night for us, excitement for us not him."
"The Dark Lord?" enquired Lucius. Then, he pointed out, "It's his title, Narcissa use it!"
There was a second of tense hesitancy between Lucius and Narcissa.
In a neutral tone, Lucius carefully repeated, "It's his title, Cissy. You will use it when discussing or addressing the Dark Lord."
Lucius was forced to look away from the wounded look Narcissa gave him. After some contemplation, he made a decision. Manoeuvring Narcissa to the secluded spot directly behind Severus and Nagini, he took advantage of the momentary privacy and gave Narcissa a quick, soft kiss below her earlobe as he lifted her hand to his lips.
"Cissy, it is a night for us; our night. After the first set of dancing... the very first interlude..." He smiled surreptitiously. "Remember my plan?" he whispered. "I have something to show you. Privately?"
It seemed to mollify Narcissa momentarily, for she looked up at him with sad eyes but the slightest soft smile.
"It's all going to be all right, Cissy," Lucius reassured Narcissa, kissing her forehead. "Five more months you'll be Mistress of all this, and of me for always." He kissed her hand again. "You'll have other things to fill up that lovely mind of yours, other worries, obligations..." His other hand had slowly glided down to Narcissa's waist to gently rest over her womb. Gasping softly, Narcissa gracefully caught his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "There, there..." Lucius was murmuring in her ear, comforting her with sweet nothings interspersed with soft kisses to her neck.
Sharp shots of unexpected envy fired through Severus; his irascibility escalating at not only witnessing the privileged turtledoves cooing behind him, but enabling the nauseating display by providing cover for them. Severus sourly watched Regulus continuing to be goaded and revved up by the likes of Mulciber, Nott and Goyle. Look at Regulus, like a Muggle wally... the idiot! The Dark Lord will crush him with one glance... penetrate him senselessly.
Increasingly taxing his strained nerves, and being further distracted by Lucius and Narcissa's continual sweet nothings behind him, Severus bitterly ruminated, Lucius... handed everything on a silver platter: position, prestige, power... a bride, for always....
Brooding darkly, Severus gave a quick side-glance to Nagini. Though she continued to stand, seemingly aloof to the different scenes playing out around her, the faint rosy flush on her cheeks gave away her emotional state. Though she maintained her poise, she couldn't masque her gentle, shallow breathing.
The thought of her reacting to the heated whisperings of the lovers drew Severus' attention to her more ardently. Previously unexpected and unwelcome but now undeniable, the blazing warmth surged through Severus once again, but this time, he was not ashamed by it. A sudden bolt of entitlement awoke in him. So, she is made of flesh and blood after all, he mused heatedly, his muscles tightening throughout his body in excitement. Perhaps... perhaps my lovely wallflower is responsive to...
Thinking again of the mark left on her face by Abraxas, Severus decided, I'll kiss away your pain, make up for what you've had to endure from that arrogant, sadistic lout...
The image of brushing his lips across her aroused, flushed cheeks, causing them to bloom with more intense shades of burgundy, flashed through Severus' mind. Allowing his thoughts to drift further, Then, a trail of slow kisses down that lovely neck of yours... to its nape... down to your.... Severus noted with intensifying appreciation, the soft flowing material snugly caressing curves of her breasts...
"There you two are!"
Everyone in the nearby group jolted and turned to the addressor. It was Abraxas.
"None of that, now," Abraxas jokingly wagged his index finger, addressing Lucius and Narcissa. "Plenty of time for that after you're married. Propriety first. Control, young people, control!" The elders within hearing distance responded with hollow laughter as the dinner bell chimed, beckoning all to the grand dining room.
As a sweep of energy swept the scattered groups towards dinner, Lucius motioned to Severus. "Would you do the honours and escort Nagini?"
"Shall we?" offered Severus.
Taking Severus' offered arm, Nagini felt his firm, muscular bicep. Who would have thought? He's lean but so taut... "Thank you," she responded.
Once seated for dinner, Nagini and Severus barely spoke a word to each other. Through the courses, Severus was kept busy by Narcissa, seated to his right, who enjoyed having him, along with Lucius sat on her other side, as her audience.
This left Nagini much to herself, which she was grateful for. Even though Regulus Black was seated to her left, thankfully, he was completely engrossed in Bellatrix beside him. This gave Nagini time to think about what she should do next. For he was here. Lester Qualmsick, seated directly across the table from her. It's all a mistake. Why did I think this evening could be normal?
Nagini had thought simply doing what was expected of her this evening would be the most difficult aspect of it: 'Don't speak unless spoken to. When spoken to, respond politely, but as little as possible. Be the attentive listener, not the initiator...'
I'll return to my room after dinner when the dancing starts; I'll find Abraxas and ask if I may return to my room. No one'll care or notice my absence, and I'll be able to avoid him...
But even as she planned this, Nagini looked up to find Lester Qualmsick's hawk-like gaze boring into her. Meeting his gaze was difficult. In a flash, the entire miserable weeks in her cell in the bowels of the Ministry of Magic came back to her; the endless interrogations, preparations, the brutal inquisitions from Bartemius Crouch, Albus Dumbledore they had not bothered her as much as Qualmsick's had because the former ones had been fierce but objective, but Qualmsick... There was that lingering undisclosed connection with Abraxas: something personal, intimate.... Lester Qualmsick knew more about her than anyone in this room.
Nagini wanted a fresh start without the past to burden her. She had been forced to disclose her past all of it to Qualmsick, in desperation for someone to defend her.
And now, meeting his gaze across the table in this increasingly unruly atmosphere, Nagini could only feel her growing sense of shame at seeing Qualmsick's smugness, possibly holding her very future in his hands. The possibility of his influencing it further unsettled her.
Under his dark lashes, Severus discreetly followed Nagini's gaze to where it rested on Lester Qualmsick. Qualmsick, who despite a voluptuous witch dripping with gems having attached herself to him, vivaciously attempting to hold his attention wasn't taking his eyes away from Nagini.
Qualmsick's stare continued relentlessly: Nagini tried to focus left and right, anywhere in order to avoid having to return his gaze.
As Severus watched, Qualmsick's vacant expression, in spite of the garish witch's squawking and clinging, changed to a knowing smile, and he nodded upon finally catching Nagini's attention. Nagini, unable to deny his presence any further, but hating herself, acknowledged him.
Severus had the sudden impulse to hex the esteemed barrister, regardless of Qualmsick's reputation. His gut instincts told him that Qualmsick's complacent smile and nod to Nagini was fraught with parlous intention. It was not Rodolphus that Lucius should be worrying about, and by the reticent aura surrounding Nagini, Severus knew that she would agree.
************************
AN: Greatest thanks to beta Sempra and beta Agnus Castus; thank you both for your incredible guidance and technical help and support!
Story Actions
To follow, favorite, like, and more either log in or create an account.
Leave a Review
Log in to leave a review.
Latest 25 Reviews for A Nagini and Severus Tale
77 Reviews | 8.27/10 Average
WOW. You just left me speechless.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback, truly appreciate it!
Phew... I got so engrossed reading the chapters one after the other that I just forgot to review! This chapter was amazing... I particularly liked (I know that's not an appropriate word here) the interaction between Lily and Sev... it seemed like a missing page from the JKR books... thanks for rediscovering it for us! Also enjoyed the really adorable first kiss:)... Looking forward to a beautiful relationship that would heal two scarred hearts!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this, and so happy that you are enjoying it--had to explore some interaction between him and Lily as she was so influential on him... Needed to explore what a first kiss would be like between these two at this point, so I'm happy that it came across as intended. Again, thank you for reading and your feedback, truly appreciate it!
It's such an amazingly original idea to portray Nagini as a Malfoy girl who is so different from the rest of her family! I wonder where the Malfoys got that name from, though! Nagini is the Sanskrit word for a female serpent and I have been traditionally intrigued by Jo's choice of name for Voldie's serpent! :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading, truly appreciate it! This was my first attempt into the wonderful universe of HP fanfiction💕Hmm... I'm trying to finish off the last chapters, so since meeting you, maybe I can write in some justification for the name... At this point, I can't change her biological origin for this tale... but maybe her mother traveled to India when in hiding from Voldy, before becoming impregnated, and became inspired/enlightened by some Sanskrit parchments she came across... hmmm, I'll reflect on it--and dedication to you!:-)Thank you again!
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Lol! That's again an amazing idea. And that would explain a lot of things too, considering that a Nagini (in the Hindu mythology context) is often capable of changing into a beautiful (and often potentially dangerous) human female. Could our Nagini be like that? Well, we have to find out!:)
PS: I think I NOW know the reason for your unique penname!:)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
In gratitude for assistance offered, namaste,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Ah, namaste dear!
A chapter of action and revelations.For this chapter, the snake bearer arises and the snake in two parts is a symbol of duplicity.Damphna and Lucretia betray Grindewald.Severus demonstrates himself worthy of the Dark Lord who he now hates and will soon plan to betray.Nagini accepts becoming a hit witch, joining those who killed her caretaker, but possiby planning revenge against their leader.Nagini compartmentalizing her life, fooling herself.One might make a wild guess on first reading canon that Severus's cruelty is a mask and reaction against his caring nature, betraying himself.The perspicacious Narcissa is shocked at her own fate.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this and for your generous feedback in the review--it means so very much to me, truly deeply value and appreciate you taking the time to let me know what is coming across in this long-winded tale! The next chapter will continue to push the action and further revelations, I hope to answer most if not all of the back/side story of Lucretia, Dymphna, Grindewald, Abraxas, etc. , as well (if I can get it 'right') as moving on with the Nag, Sev, Narcissa, et alia in the present/main storyline. I'm realising that instead of one more chapter, I'll need at least three... Yes, canon Severus seems to have worn many masks, hiding (and yes, absolutely, betraying) his caring nature and yet wishing for something elusive and/or embittered/consumed by the lack of it, or 'a man hagridden by the future' (interpreted by me as 'tormented by his life') as the singular C.S. Lewis described some, etc. Yes, Nagini is in a fluctuating state--her decision(s) to be made in the next chapter. And Narcissa... as revealed by the end of the HP canon, she (along with Severus) had the power to deceive and conceal her thoughts and feelings from Voldemort himself, let alone Severus, Lucius, Bellatrix... She is one of the many underwritten characters in fanfic imho, and I'll try not to get too derailed from the main plot with her--lol!--she just preoccupies me sometimes, and I wanted to give a nod to her and her predicament/fate. Again, thank you so very much for your thoughts and observations, can't quite find the proper words to thank you enough... Wishing you all the best, now and for the New Year!
The impression is that of a bridging chapter, but one where emotions are gathering below the surface and getting ready to explode.Deprived of nurturing when young, Severus clings to any sign of friendship and romance. Does that explain his continued attachment to Lily even though he has found Nagini? He could sneer and say Lily got the prat she deserved.Finally get a hint at what Nagini's mother did - excessive ambition and pride, a Frankenstein scenario.Would a memory loss obliterate her attraction to Severus? It appears to be returning at the end.Bit of irony having Pandora warn Xenophilius about being cautious with spells.Dumbledore takes Nagini away from people who would be her friends and who can even admire her mother although they would say her mother did transgress if they learned what she had done. He dumps her among her tormentors.As always, clear elucidation of complex plot and characters.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, truly, deeply appreciate it! Yes, things are about to explode, in the next chapter, exactly, on several levels. It seems that Severus has a deep unreasonable fixation attachment to Lily, truly obssessed with her from early in his life--an obsession that carved a deep groove within that he blindly associates with a kind of 'goodness' he had never known, being deprived so as he was... He seems to have had very limited exposure--his persistent preoccupations with people will be explored and highlighted in the remaining chapters--but I agree and perhaps he will put Lily and her prat in a box, label it, and throw it away on an old shelf to rot.:-)Yes, more explicit information and details of Nagini's mother's actions (and others) in the next chapter, her and her cronies' endless sub-plot laid out fully and put to rest. Nagini's memory loss will be shown to have been selective, obliterated selectively, and the question of can an emotion 'record' be stronger than a mental record, either exist without the other, or will one enhance and strengthen the other to full retainment? Yes, perhaps bad taste about the Pandora and Xeno comment about dubious, untested spells--but I couldn't resist... I meant it as more bitter irony, as Luna's mother could only have been quite a unique persona, such a shame she died the way she did.Keenly seen by you, Dumbledore's plans for Nagini will be to prove a point of his, one of several actually, without leniency, an 'all or nothing' scenario... All the loose ends will be tied together--currently working on the last three chapters, simultaneously--lol! (will ty to get them down to maybe two if I can compact the narrative and dialogues and tie together everything... We'll see). Thank you again for your incredible feedback and inspiring observations--nourishment for the Muse, and always deeply grateful,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
The irony about Pandora is not in bad taste at all. It says she is more concerned about Xenopilius thqn about herself. It is a rich chapter with more than mentioned in the review: Narcissa steps forward, the contrast of the schoolboy bullying of Sirius with the adult evil of Lucius, the portrait of Slughorn eager not to ruffle powerful feathers.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for contnuing to read and for the generous feedback,
Thank you for another wonderful chapter!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for reading this and the review--truly appreciate your kind feedback!
A seemingly straight-forward chapter but numerous undercurrents are playing themselves out.
How did the Dark Lord and company know they would be gathering horklumps? The runespoor is replaying the Garden of Eden. What is Rodophus's interest in Nagini? Anything besides lust? (It's been a long time since I read the previous chapters.) Dumbledores's reason for keeping Nagini away from the Malfoys may be to keep her away from their evil influence when the intent should be to protect her.
There does seem to be a belief running through magic fiction that once touched by the Dark, a person is not redeemable. (I am reminded of the oath required of all US Civil Servants: "I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party.")
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
McNair, Nott, Goyle, and Regulus are acting like adolesents, which they are. Narcissa and Bellatrix are coquetes, each in her own way. Lucius is acting mature, partly because he has been trained to do so and partly because in is in the throes of romance, which everyone knows and accepts. Nagini is flustered. Severus is acting mature, but no one takes exception to this, which is odd because adults do not take kindly to an adolescent not acting his age.Severus wants to oomfort Nagini, but he only plans to ease her hurt after Abraxas has finished with her. He does not plan to protect her by confronting or eliminating Abraxas. Similarly, Lucius wants Narcissa to acknowledge the Dark Lord. Power and the social order are dominant. Are the men correct? Would they be able to neither have nor help Nagini and Narcissa if they did not first secure their place in the social order?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback--truly appreciate it! Yes, in the world of this story, power and social order are dominant; without securing one's place in the present social order, Severus' power, his lacking social order power, at this point in his life, leaves him helpless to act effectively--how his impulses or wishes would otherwise act... thus, perhaps, motivating him to attain social power at any cost (blindly, being still a youth) in order to be more effective, and have the so-called freedom to take matters into his own hands...At this point, the futility of confronting or attempting to eliminate Abraxas would not be wise... It's one thing to see the signs of domestic abuse and another to act upon it immediately on the behalf of someone he has just become acquainted with in the rigid perimeters of his world. Lucius is his father's son... and all the cliches that go with 'the apple not falling far from the tree', etc. Again, thank you!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
You are correct. The review was too focused on the similarities of Nagina and Narcissa, and it sounded too harsh. Even in more normal circumstances, a well-intentioned intervention can cause more harm than good.
The chapter presents the Malfoys as cold, calculating, and treacherous, but they are not caricatures. Their motivation is power: personal, family, class. Abraxas is one who is too extreme or too inflexible - in some ways a tragic figure. Nagini's mother suggests he is goaded by fear. Perhaps his behavior can be explained by the absence of the Midas stone, which would bring part of the story full circle. Lucius suggests using a display of understanding out of a mix of compassion and strategy. He is so eager to please his father, however, that he presses Nagini too hard and she becomes suspicious and demands a trade of information instead of freely giving it - a price for his mistake.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
More will come out a bit later about Abraxas and the crux of the matter, way back when, between him, his sister and Riddle. And yes, power is meant to be their driving force; I still wanted Lucius to be 'in process' of becoming 'a slippery' agent, not yet as polished as the adult canon, yet, but he learns/he'll learn quickly from his mistakes... Thank you for continuing to read this and the insightful feedback, affirming what is coming across--truly appreciate it!
This chapter brings out the cruelty of the young who are still finding their way and the friendship-rivalry between Severus and Regulus And, of course, the ambivalent feelings of Severus, Regulus, Lucius, and Nagini. This is contrasted with the attitude of Abraxas who could have had a powerful ally in Nagini if he had been more flexible. Perhaps ambivalence isn't all bad. It was quite a bit to pack into one chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for continuing to read and the feedback! Yes, I wanted to touch upon the seeds of cruelty manifested in earlier forms in them, and try to convey the different kinds of ambivalence they are each feeling at this time in their lives, now being forced to respond to people/things they haven't before. Abraxas is quite rigid and decisive, hardened by the past and resolute on how he wants/demands his world to be for the future. Thank you again!
An impressive chapter. Good portraits done in a subtle manner - both characters and relationships. Nagini still immature and impulsive.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for the read and the feedback! I was trying to set up the Slytherins and their very 'mature', polished and ordered world that Nagini has been plunged into versus her disordered, unpolished and impulsive nature and background... Thank you again for the specific feedback, truly appreciate it!
Continued, unrelenting portrait of the Malfoys.
There is some inner core of Nagini that that affects even Abraxas.
Not certain about Hagrid's comment on Nagini just being let out since I though she had already spent the autumn at school.
The Malfoys gaining their wealth by a special, magical device fits canon where special, magical devices are important. It also portrays the Malfoys to not be strategic planners since an ancient house of long-lived individuals could gradually accumulate enormous wealth.
There could be more discussion of the accusations against Nagini since it might have been self defense, but self defense not tempered by the self control that the Malfoys appear to lack.
(Still not my type of story, but I can rate it on the basis of imagination and unfolding narrative.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and the specific feedback! You've given me a lot to think about, and how I can clean up or connect more of the narrative logically in Hagrid's comments and other parts; some points I had purposefully left convoluted--lol!--such as more about Nagini's defense, etc., but other points are just sloppy narrative. More clarity will come in the next few chapters about her schooling, about her being in Durmstrang in the autumn-- sorry that the scarceness of this narrative has been left out here, but it'll be detailed in a later chapter... Thank you again for your precious time and patience, and generous rating--it's wonderful to get constructive feedback about such a roughly constructed storyline--I deeply appreciate your input!
Severus does not believe that living well is the best revenge, but for some reason, when confronted with retribution against Nagini for her past wrongs (according to the Malfoys), he is uncomfortable. Perhaps he likes revenge in the abstract, but the reality of it repels him. This is canon Severus where he offers insults and injustice, but protects the students from any real danger. Neither Severus or Regulus approve of the Malfoys. Good portrayal of Malfoy arrogance.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yes, I wanted to capture some level of insecurity and confusion in Severus at this earlier point in his life... before he becomes the full, specific resolved character we experience in adult canon... I felt the need of retribution is playing an influence in him on some levels, abstractly, and the notion of revenge is what has been and will be an influence on him, but yes, the reality is always something different... Severus' duality on so-many levels is something I wanted to explore... I was always profoundly struck by the inherent ethical choices within Severus and Regulus that differed (revealed finally in DH) from the others in Voldemort's followers, etc. Thank you again for your generous feedback.
The narrative begins in-the-middle with a dramatic scene and proceeds to offer some explanation of current events and to suggest underlying motives. (This is not my type of story, but I must rate it as a literary effort.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh goodness,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for your kindness of giving this a read and leaving feedback! I truly appreciate it. However, as if you can't already tell--lol!-- this was my very first, ever, fledgling attempt at writing fanfiction--I had just discovered the wild wayward goings-on and wonderful Potter verse and fandom universe, and it was started and written at an unusually strange time of my life, etc., etc. (further excuses elaborating on exploratory pulp fiction thingys, etc.) It took a very long time to discover one-shots and drabbles in this universe, which I so much enjoy now. So please, especially knowing that it is not your type of story, and it will only get worse in this and other aspects, please don't feel the need to read on--of course, I'm gobsmacked to have a writer of your calibre read and make time to constructively leave feedback, but it may be too painful an experience for you--and I'd much rather your energy go to your own writing and more posting as soon as possible!Again, regardless, thank you for your kindness & consideration with this newbie's noodling(s).
So instead of a lovely outing to Hogsmeade, it's detention with the Gryffindorks for Sev and Nagini? Those Slytherins are a tough bunch to be around, especially when the crazy one is among them. You have Bellatrix spot on- just the right amount of madness combined with malevolence, and her dialogue is perfect - "Miss hoity-toity Malfoy" made me laugh out loud. Poor Nagini just can't find her place -not quite a Ravenclaw and uneasy amongst the Slytherins (well most of them ;)) Looking forward to reading how detention works out. 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks
Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Great characterisation of the Marauders in this chapter, and I loved Snape's impudent request that Potter kneel down and kiss his toes. I'd happily kiss any body part he offered me... Ahem... You conveyed blistering, crackling tension between Snape and his enemies - well done! The scene in the Ravenclaw Tower stairwell provided a wonderful contrast, and Snape's "Brilliant..." declaration was a lovely intimate and adolescent moment which made me smile. No doubt that Nagini's universe has been forever changed by this encounter. Lovely work! 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Oh, I love this chapter. Nagini and Severus' seductive hidey-hole was such a tease Lol! I was ready to scream at those damn Marauders for interupting. But it only added to the tension and made their eventual getting together all the more sensual, and oh was it worth the wait.I loved it all... oh but his baritone voice healing her arm *swoon*- now that's an image I'll remember for a while. I will be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else
Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
More sweet solace please. Pretty please with a cherry on top!That was so sensual. I love the way you took us into Snape's mind and made us privy to all that he was aware of: Nagini's physical response to him, her embarasment and obvious feelings of attraction. I've said it before and I'll say it again, 'What is a spurned wizard to do?'And about that spurning: Ms Evans is more than a little insensitive here, yet I truly believe that canon Lily did not think him capable of love or devotion... well HE showed HER. Pity it was too late.The scene with Snape and Lily sems like a very likely encounter; it could almost be a missing scene. Of course Snape, being Snape focuses his hatred onto James not Lily as if SHE has been Imperiused by the big bad toe-rag. And trust the Marauders to be the instigators of snoggus interutptus. GET EM, SEV!!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
*click* *Click* *CLICK* What? No more? *taps fingers* Pot, meet kettle. :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
I hope Sev really can cope with whatever Bella has up her sleeve. :0
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Sybill is flaky but hilarious. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Marcus is pretty creepy, but in his own way may serve to protect Nagini. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Lovely to see an update on this story 
The scene between Severus and Lily in the library was beautifully choreographed and utterly heartbreaking. I can just imagine such a conversation taking place as a result of his bereavement, but of course Lily managed to pour salt in the wound and give it a rub for good measure. Poor Severus, so blind to the consequences of his decisions and unable to comprehend the error of his ways.I also enjoyed the moments outside the hospital wing with Nagini, despite the rude interruption. Looking forward to finding out who throws the first hex!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
OOOh! nag! VERY hot chapter. Absolutely brilliantly written, full of evocative imagery. Snapes, disappointment and bitterness over Lily and his carnal lust and inability to resist Bella was tangible. I loved this line:"But, like a sinister dream of dark yearning, Bellatrix stood before him." WOW!Then the close with the description of Nagini's sexual fantasies was equally well done because of the contrast between the darkness of Snape and Bella's act and the almost innocence of Nagini's because it was the realisation of genuine feelings of affection towards our hero. Wonderful chapter my dear!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Hexgirl, thank you so much for the lovely, specific feedback - truly appreciate it! Sorry Sev's Slytherin, human side was depicted - he just wasn't in the mood to back down from the wench - and definitely man enough to take her on - LOL! Thank you for the feedback regarding Nagini's sexual awakenings mixed with her awakening feelings for Sev - had to start somewhere - lol! Again, thank you for your support on all levels! xxx
I hope it won't be detrimental to Nagini that she's been put in Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the read and review! Really appreciate the feedback! The Slytherin family members will definitely be irked by this, as well as a few of their cohorts, but there's one Slytherin that's discreetly 'got her back' ;-) Thanks, again!