The Haunted Bed and Other Dilemmas: Part Two
Chapter 13 of 22
nagandsevUnable to sleep, Severus seeks refuge in the Slytherin Common room, only to be confronted with one immediate dilemma which he has no choice but to deal with … Elsewhere in Ravenclaw Tower, Nagini, also, is having trouble falling to sleep…
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Severus tossed over on his side. He couldn't sleep. The grating snores of his roommates caused his pulsing temples to pound achingly. The lingering residue from having witnessed Lily being touched and kissed by Potter crushed his chest. I can't breathe! Feeling suffocated in mind and body, he jumped up and grabbed his robe, quickly putting it on as he strode silently out of the dormitory room. Making his way to the Slytherin common room, he crossed to a corner and flung himself down onto a grande sofa. He wished to brood in peace in the shadows of the eternally lit fireplace and dim greenish light the dungeon perpetually emitted.
Why? Why would she let him do that to her? The truth gnawed at him, a persistent, painful comprehension which he fought against accepting. She's accepted him as her... lover. She has chosen Potter... It was the hard truth, on a base level, along with other nauseous truths. Incensed, his frustration and insecurity increased tenfold. The merciless mulling over what James Potter had that he didn't, tortured him. And now, the great Quidditch hero, Saint Potter, wants to get inside her knickers? Severus face burned. And she'll let him?
It was too much for him to hold in. "No!" he cried out. He scrunched his eyes tight and took deep breaths. Suddenly, he froze.
Someone else had entered the common room.
He wouldn't usually have cared; it wasn't the first time he had sought refuge in the common room when unable to sleep, nor the first time his solitude had been interrupted. But it has to be around three o'clock in the bloody morning! Tonight was a night he particularly wished to be alone with his thoughts. With his pain.
The figure stopped, paused, and then slowly walked towards him. As it neared, he recognized the feminine form. As she drew even closer, he recognized the witch. Bellatrix!
"Well, well, what have we here?" she whispered softly.
Severus' onyx eyes glittered, the gleams from the dancing flames of the burning embers of the fireplace reflected in them; but then, Bella halted, her curvaceous figure silhouetted, casting a shadow upon Snape.
Fuck! I forgot my wand! Before he could nonverbally Accio for it, in a flash, Bellatrix had fluidly flicked her wand, placing an Invisibility Shield and Silencing charm around them.
Neither spoke as she languidly crossed over and lowered herself beside him in a sinuously yet...Severus could not negate...alluring manner. He had always prided himself on deflecting Bellatrix's licentious behaviour, but he could not deny that he was well aware of what indulgent pleasure it promised. It was her voracious and precocious sexual behaviour which always threw him off, challenging him, and the only way he could counter her volatile energy was to withdraw from and shun her. She was everything Lily was not.
And yet, he was keenly aware that the eldest Black sister's voracious sexual energy was tied in with her powerful, Dark magical powers. Or so, Bella proclaimed every chance she could. Is there just magic, and only the wizard or witch determines its darkness? Rather, its darker usage? asked the curious young wizard to himself as she drew nearer. So many times the exultations of a wizard's sexual energy being equal to his abilities were droned into Severus by his mates. Is that what Potter has? The mad thought flitted through his mind. Is that what Lily is drawn to?
He could not quite fathom, nor accept this, but perhaps... His first full sexual experience had been with Guinevere Rookwood just this last Halloween's festivities. An impromptu party had been given at Hogwarts for the sixth and seventh years. The liberating event had left mixed marks on his psyche. He had lain and the eager witch had ridden him, completely in control. He didn't complain, nor regret it; the experience was eye-opening and whetted his appetite, feeling physically empowered. Sexually empowered. And, consequently, he felt more self-assured around the more perverse of his Slytherin mates, understanding their weaknesses from his own experience.
Nevertheless, a large void still remained within him; the gap of loneliness in his life became even more pronounced. The emptiness of the physical act of copulation had not eased his longing for a fuller union with another: completeness. Something more than just the functions and needs of the body. It had only keenly emphasized the large hole of longing for something which remained forever, frustratingly, elusive. But, with the right person it could be filled and fulfilled: with Lily... He believed he would be made whole by her. Now that he had gained some basic, practical experience, he had pledged to save himself for her and her alone.
But, like a sinister dream of dark yearning, Bellatrix stood before him. His pubescent hormones pumped furiously in his veins, clashing with his defence of disdain that he usually shielded himself with against her. In the surreal ambience, her salacious energy exuded forth, catching his dubious and curious attention. She's incredible. Indescribable... Lucius' words echoed in his thoughts. But Severus' reason bolted forward, reminding him of another private oath he'd sworn to himself, Nothing is worth Bellatrix' favours...
Feeling his resolution wavering for the slightest second, torn between tasting that which he had chosen to deny himself, that which he prided himself on abstaining from, Severus started to rise.
"Always so afraid."
He stopped.
"Always so cowardly around me... Why is that, Sevy?"
Severus turned to her, his fathomless eyes boring into hers.
"The Dark Lord knows this about you. He knows it's a weakness of yours... your peculiar sensibilities regarding the fairer sex."
Severus huffed. It wasn't the first time Bellatrix had boasted and endowed herself to speak on behalf of the Dark Lord. But it was the first time she had spoken so unaffectedly. There was none of the mad mockery or goading which usually accompanied her addresses. Unaccustomed to her unusual normalcy, he sat back and waited. What is it that she wants of me? Even as this thought occurred, he saw her lick her lips and cock her head, curious.
"Why are you afraid of me, Snape?"
Severus blinked, thoughtfully. He was treading in dangerous waters and needed to wade very carefully. His eyes flickered over her deceiving, attractive features: her wavy raven hair flowing down, her opened robe revealing an enticing décote. Her full red lips. But her otherwise classic beauty was mocked by her vulgar, unstable aura. So opposite to what he usually found attractive. For even though Lily was perfection incarnate, a category all unto herself, which no witch could or would ever compare, Severus had an appreciative eye of the female form. He did not deny that. Rather, he prided himself on his control, prided himself on being above the others and their follies, not indulging in the weaknesses of other wizards.
Even now, gazing at the unpredictable, sultry Bellatrix, he momentarily mused on how it had always astounded him how different the elder Black was to her fairer sister, Narcissa. For a fleeting moment, his thoughts wandered further, and it struck him curiously odd how even the Malfoy witch, Nagini, in her demeanour was more kindred to Narcissa than Black's own flesh and blood: Bella.
Narcissa and Nagini are attractive, but not in the obvious way... His eyes lingered a moment too long on Bella's breast as she loosened the outer robe of her nightgown. That Bella is explicit in her needs... deliciously indecent, that is...
Seeing her challenging stance, he gritted his teeth. I will not back down from you, witch!
Holding firmly Bellatrix's gaze, he answered smoothly, "It is not fear; it is out of respect."
Marvelling, Bella's eyes shined, and she challenged him, "Respect for what?"
"Respect for you, Bellatrix. Respect for your fiancé; you'll be taking your wedding vows soon."
Bella let out a high-pitched laugh. "Oh, that is utterly amusing!" Then, her demeanour changed, and the familiar, dangerous scowl that Severus was used to slowly crept on her face. "What's the real reason?" Bella leaned closer. Childlike, she pouted, "Why do you reject me?" Severus felt her hand on his thigh. He made to grab her wrist just as her hand grazed and pressed firmly over his member. In silence, they held each other's gaze while she firmly rubbed him up and down. "So afraid," she whispered again, "Your mind is resistant, but your body..." she tightly grasped his tented, hardened cock, "your body is not."
As the seconds blurred by, it became harder and harder for him to concentrate. His keen libido awoke with a vengeance, and holding Bella's gaze, he acknowledged that this time he would not deflect her daring candidness and bold actions. His muscles clenched, involuntary tightening up throughout his body, the pressure in his veins building up, intensely needing release as Bella's expertise administrations captured him within their pleasurable powers.
"Do you feel pain?" she whispered in his ear, her hot breath tingled. His closed, tightened eyelids contracted as she pinched his cock's tip through the cloth. "I heard your cry, Severus. I can help you with your pain... It'll be our little secret. Let me ease your pain," she murmured hypnotically. Her apt hand had found its way inside his underpants, stroking his burning flesh. "Let me help you unleash your deep, buried powers." Severus had shut his eyes in conflict; the pleasure centre of his brain was taken over by sensuous, psychoactive release. It was true; her stimulus was so much more powerful than anything he had known. He felt her lips on his cock's tip and forgot all else. As she took him deeper in her mouth, he knew not what his name was, but only felt her incredible oral skills pleasuring him.
Her own arousal from sucking him off grew wild and, before he knew it, Bellatrix had released his cock from her mouth and climbed over his lap, straddling him. She raised herself up, positioning her entrance and, boldly grasping and holding, guided his manhood to her opening. She thrust herself down upon him, crying out in pleasure. As she rocked forward, undulating tautly, she dared him to meet her lips.
Severus turned his head away from her, refusing the contact, even while their bodies simultaneously rammed together in growing syncopated fucking.
No, I will not be intimate with you that way... but I will fuck you to my fullest ability, Miss Black! With that decision, he continued to thrust hard upwards, grabbing and locking her curvaceous hips clenched against him, feeling her gasp and mewl, both grinding pelvic bone to pelvic bone.
Bellatrix eyes clenched tight; her face distorted in euphoric ecstasy as she came. Ecstatically whimpering, she slowly began to rock and sway again, more intensely. The sight of her abandoned wanton lust took his breath away. Her rocking increased. The friction of her velvety wetness, mixed with the slippery cum, caused Bella's movements to slide and jerk sporadically until she cried out loud again; her head thrown back and fingers sunk into his skin as she clutched him as if for dear life.
Her vaginal muscles flexed tightly around his cock in spasm. Severus groaned out, clenching his teeth as he came; she was squeezing every drop out of him. Suddenly, Bella collapsed on his chest, gasping hard, her head momentarily resting on his shoulder. She still held his spent member tight within her. Time ticked by with only the sounds of their arrhythmic breathing. Abruptly, her vaginal muscles pushed his cock out, and she slowly rolled off him, gathering her robe around her. Shivering, she stood up and flicked her wand, walking away without looking back or further ado.
Pulling his pajamas up, tying his robe closed, Severus watched her disappear into the direction of the girls' dormitory.
He sighed, not knowing what the next day would bring, what further dilemma he had brought upon himself giving into Bellatrix, but he shrewdly thought, Come what may, I'll turn anything Bella throws at me to my advantage. She's only weakened herself by pursuing me this way in this little game she is playing.
For Severus' caustic astuteness, from years and years of Slytherin 'use or be used' diatribe, could not help but plan ahead various strategies to counter against any backlash of what had just occurred. Bella never does anything without a reason, to gain an advantage for herself. If she'd wanted just a quick shag, her dear fiancé could've serviced her... Just to wait and see how she plans to use me, this little indiscretion, and then, I'll show her; I'm not her fool... He smirked confidently. At the least, my headache has disappeared.
And with that, he returned to the snoring of his roommates, where he took his wand, cast a Silencing Charm and, unable to shake the residue fully of having had some sexual release, proceeded to envision how he would one day make love to Lily. Properly. I'll be the perfect lover... she'll desire only me...
Before drifting to sleep, his thoughts had changed to dwell on the upcoming private meeting with her on Thursday. Realising it had to be perfect, from his first utterance of a greeting to his declaration of amatory love for her, he began to practise and subvocalise variants of responses and replies. And with this monotonous script of wooing Lily, playing on his mind, Severus fell into a deep sleep.
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Vulnera Sanentur... Vulnera Sanentur... sana haec vulnera... sana hoc corpus...
Nagini woke up in a sweat. The chant of Healing spells and soft murmurings echoed in her drowsy dullness, along with the compelling voice, beckoning her, lingering, unshakeable. She struggled, through her heavy sluggishness, to surface from the muddling notions in her mind. The strange dreams, wispy images, combined with powerful, emotional reactions, caused her to stare upwards, not fully realizing where she was, lost in a haze.
She blinked, confused. As she gazed up through the gauze-like fabric draped directly over her bed between the four bed posts, she could see clearly, through the transparent cloth, the constellations of the heavens adorning the room's ceiling.
Capricornus twinkled above her.
The scent of cinnamon oil surrounded her, luring her into a dreamy softness, but she was not alone. A dark angel encompassed her, and she could feel his wings folding around her, enwrapping their bodies, molding them together. She felt his lips slowly brushing across her neck, covering her scars with his marks of passion, the heat of his kisses tingling throughout her body. His administrations began to lower and his fingertips brushed over the curves of her undulating form.
Rolling over on her side, she felt the lethargic fullness that accompanies the middle of the night weighing down upon her. Everything was so still; uncontrollably, her quiescence was disturbed, the impact of fitful slumber diverted her attempts for quiet restfulness: for his image kept reappearing.
Unable to resist the raven-haired presence, wishing to fully give herself to this dream-like sensation, she could not ignore the actual, dull burning which had coursed through her, a heaviness now settling between her legs. The residue of him pressing her into the mattress, their bodies molding as one, and his touch arousing her as she had never experienced before, occurred. Unknown sensations had erupted forth. "O," she softly moaned out as her fingers explored searchingly between her legs, as if they were his, stroking and rubbing her sex. Thankful that the medieval canopy bed had curtains, completely enclosing it, ensuring warmth and privacy, and hid her actions. An unknown abandonment washed over her, and she continued to explore and stimulate her folds and centre, discovering her clitoris, until her toes curled, and she whispered, in orgasmic relief, "Severus!"
Awaken in arousal, she breathed deeply and gazed once again at the changing constellations above her, pondering the now vivid memories of her dreams. But the more she lay, trying to make sense of them, the more perplexed she became. The fragrance of the cinnamon scented salve, the chanting of healing spells, the sense memory of being touched, hearing his low, caressing voice, and his face, the young wizard she barely knew, Severus Snape, she kept experiencing again and again.
She sighed in frustration.
The haunted bed? More like a bed of torment... Severus' image stayed with her, refusing to disappear, so her hands found their way to her sex... again. A bed of tormented desire... But as her fingers touched her sensitive nub, ready for further release, the feeling was too pleasurable for Nagini to feel ashamed of, to retract from, and she started, slower this time, savouring the sensation, to stimulate herself once more. He'll never know; we're not in the same House. I'll hardly have to even see him ever... no one'll ever know. She increased her friction, allowing the delicious intense pleasure to flow through her in mounting waves. It'll be my secret and mine alone that I fancy him...
As she came again, she saw with flushed delight that the constellations had changed again. Horologium now shone above. Slowly, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. As she fell into sweet slumber, the stars changed to Ophiucus, the serpent holder, but Nagini was already in deep sleep, unaware of this dubious auger of the heavens.
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A/N: Greatest appreciation to the very wonderful, and very busy emdramaqueen for beta reading and supporting my lemons ... a lady of many talents! Translation of sana haec vulnera... sana hoc corpus...: heal these wounds... heal this body...
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Nagini and Severus Tale
77 Reviews | 8.27/10 Average
WOW. You just left me speechless.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback, truly appreciate it!
Phew... I got so engrossed reading the chapters one after the other that I just forgot to review! This chapter was amazing... I particularly liked (I know that's not an appropriate word here) the interaction between Lily and Sev... it seemed like a missing page from the JKR books... thanks for rediscovering it for us! Also enjoyed the really adorable first kiss:)... Looking forward to a beautiful relationship that would heal two scarred hearts!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this, and so happy that you are enjoying it--had to explore some interaction between him and Lily as she was so influential on him... Needed to explore what a first kiss would be like between these two at this point, so I'm happy that it came across as intended. Again, thank you for reading and your feedback, truly appreciate it!
It's such an amazingly original idea to portray Nagini as a Malfoy girl who is so different from the rest of her family! I wonder where the Malfoys got that name from, though! Nagini is the Sanskrit word for a female serpent and I have been traditionally intrigued by Jo's choice of name for Voldie's serpent! :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading, truly appreciate it! This was my first attempt into the wonderful universe of HP fanfiction💕Hmm... I'm trying to finish off the last chapters, so since meeting you, maybe I can write in some justification for the name... At this point, I can't change her biological origin for this tale... but maybe her mother traveled to India when in hiding from Voldy, before becoming impregnated, and became inspired/enlightened by some Sanskrit parchments she came across... hmmm, I'll reflect on it--and dedication to you!:-)Thank you again!
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Lol! That's again an amazing idea. And that would explain a lot of things too, considering that a Nagini (in the Hindu mythology context) is often capable of changing into a beautiful (and often potentially dangerous) human female. Could our Nagini be like that? Well, we have to find out!:)
PS: I think I NOW know the reason for your unique penname!:)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
In gratitude for assistance offered, namaste,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Ah, namaste dear!
A chapter of action and revelations.For this chapter, the snake bearer arises and the snake in two parts is a symbol of duplicity.Damphna and Lucretia betray Grindewald.Severus demonstrates himself worthy of the Dark Lord who he now hates and will soon plan to betray.Nagini accepts becoming a hit witch, joining those who killed her caretaker, but possiby planning revenge against their leader.Nagini compartmentalizing her life, fooling herself.One might make a wild guess on first reading canon that Severus's cruelty is a mask and reaction against his caring nature, betraying himself.The perspicacious Narcissa is shocked at her own fate.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this and for your generous feedback in the review--it means so very much to me, truly deeply value and appreciate you taking the time to let me know what is coming across in this long-winded tale! The next chapter will continue to push the action and further revelations, I hope to answer most if not all of the back/side story of Lucretia, Dymphna, Grindewald, Abraxas, etc. , as well (if I can get it 'right') as moving on with the Nag, Sev, Narcissa, et alia in the present/main storyline. I'm realising that instead of one more chapter, I'll need at least three... Yes, canon Severus seems to have worn many masks, hiding (and yes, absolutely, betraying) his caring nature and yet wishing for something elusive and/or embittered/consumed by the lack of it, or 'a man hagridden by the future' (interpreted by me as 'tormented by his life') as the singular C.S. Lewis described some, etc. Yes, Nagini is in a fluctuating state--her decision(s) to be made in the next chapter. And Narcissa... as revealed by the end of the HP canon, she (along with Severus) had the power to deceive and conceal her thoughts and feelings from Voldemort himself, let alone Severus, Lucius, Bellatrix... She is one of the many underwritten characters in fanfic imho, and I'll try not to get too derailed from the main plot with her--lol!--she just preoccupies me sometimes, and I wanted to give a nod to her and her predicament/fate. Again, thank you so very much for your thoughts and observations, can't quite find the proper words to thank you enough... Wishing you all the best, now and for the New Year!
The impression is that of a bridging chapter, but one where emotions are gathering below the surface and getting ready to explode.Deprived of nurturing when young, Severus clings to any sign of friendship and romance. Does that explain his continued attachment to Lily even though he has found Nagini? He could sneer and say Lily got the prat she deserved.Finally get a hint at what Nagini's mother did - excessive ambition and pride, a Frankenstein scenario.Would a memory loss obliterate her attraction to Severus? It appears to be returning at the end.Bit of irony having Pandora warn Xenophilius about being cautious with spells.Dumbledore takes Nagini away from people who would be her friends and who can even admire her mother although they would say her mother did transgress if they learned what she had done. He dumps her among her tormentors.As always, clear elucidation of complex plot and characters.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, truly, deeply appreciate it! Yes, things are about to explode, in the next chapter, exactly, on several levels. It seems that Severus has a deep unreasonable fixation attachment to Lily, truly obssessed with her from early in his life--an obsession that carved a deep groove within that he blindly associates with a kind of 'goodness' he had never known, being deprived so as he was... He seems to have had very limited exposure--his persistent preoccupations with people will be explored and highlighted in the remaining chapters--but I agree and perhaps he will put Lily and her prat in a box, label it, and throw it away on an old shelf to rot.:-)Yes, more explicit information and details of Nagini's mother's actions (and others) in the next chapter, her and her cronies' endless sub-plot laid out fully and put to rest. Nagini's memory loss will be shown to have been selective, obliterated selectively, and the question of can an emotion 'record' be stronger than a mental record, either exist without the other, or will one enhance and strengthen the other to full retainment? Yes, perhaps bad taste about the Pandora and Xeno comment about dubious, untested spells--but I couldn't resist... I meant it as more bitter irony, as Luna's mother could only have been quite a unique persona, such a shame she died the way she did.Keenly seen by you, Dumbledore's plans for Nagini will be to prove a point of his, one of several actually, without leniency, an 'all or nothing' scenario... All the loose ends will be tied together--currently working on the last three chapters, simultaneously--lol! (will ty to get them down to maybe two if I can compact the narrative and dialogues and tie together everything... We'll see). Thank you again for your incredible feedback and inspiring observations--nourishment for the Muse, and always deeply grateful,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
The irony about Pandora is not in bad taste at all. It says she is more concerned about Xenopilius thqn about herself. It is a rich chapter with more than mentioned in the review: Narcissa steps forward, the contrast of the schoolboy bullying of Sirius with the adult evil of Lucius, the portrait of Slughorn eager not to ruffle powerful feathers.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for contnuing to read and for the generous feedback,
Thank you for another wonderful chapter!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for reading this and the review--truly appreciate your kind feedback!
A seemingly straight-forward chapter but numerous undercurrents are playing themselves out.
How did the Dark Lord and company know they would be gathering horklumps? The runespoor is replaying the Garden of Eden. What is Rodophus's interest in Nagini? Anything besides lust? (It's been a long time since I read the previous chapters.) Dumbledores's reason for keeping Nagini away from the Malfoys may be to keep her away from their evil influence when the intent should be to protect her.
There does seem to be a belief running through magic fiction that once touched by the Dark, a person is not redeemable. (I am reminded of the oath required of all US Civil Servants: "I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party.")
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
McNair, Nott, Goyle, and Regulus are acting like adolesents, which they are. Narcissa and Bellatrix are coquetes, each in her own way. Lucius is acting mature, partly because he has been trained to do so and partly because in is in the throes of romance, which everyone knows and accepts. Nagini is flustered. Severus is acting mature, but no one takes exception to this, which is odd because adults do not take kindly to an adolescent not acting his age.Severus wants to oomfort Nagini, but he only plans to ease her hurt after Abraxas has finished with her. He does not plan to protect her by confronting or eliminating Abraxas. Similarly, Lucius wants Narcissa to acknowledge the Dark Lord. Power and the social order are dominant. Are the men correct? Would they be able to neither have nor help Nagini and Narcissa if they did not first secure their place in the social order?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback--truly appreciate it! Yes, in the world of this story, power and social order are dominant; without securing one's place in the present social order, Severus' power, his lacking social order power, at this point in his life, leaves him helpless to act effectively--how his impulses or wishes would otherwise act... thus, perhaps, motivating him to attain social power at any cost (blindly, being still a youth) in order to be more effective, and have the so-called freedom to take matters into his own hands...At this point, the futility of confronting or attempting to eliminate Abraxas would not be wise... It's one thing to see the signs of domestic abuse and another to act upon it immediately on the behalf of someone he has just become acquainted with in the rigid perimeters of his world. Lucius is his father's son... and all the cliches that go with 'the apple not falling far from the tree', etc. Again, thank you!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
You are correct. The review was too focused on the similarities of Nagina and Narcissa, and it sounded too harsh. Even in more normal circumstances, a well-intentioned intervention can cause more harm than good.
The chapter presents the Malfoys as cold, calculating, and treacherous, but they are not caricatures. Their motivation is power: personal, family, class. Abraxas is one who is too extreme or too inflexible - in some ways a tragic figure. Nagini's mother suggests he is goaded by fear. Perhaps his behavior can be explained by the absence of the Midas stone, which would bring part of the story full circle. Lucius suggests using a display of understanding out of a mix of compassion and strategy. He is so eager to please his father, however, that he presses Nagini too hard and she becomes suspicious and demands a trade of information instead of freely giving it - a price for his mistake.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
More will come out a bit later about Abraxas and the crux of the matter, way back when, between him, his sister and Riddle. And yes, power is meant to be their driving force; I still wanted Lucius to be 'in process' of becoming 'a slippery' agent, not yet as polished as the adult canon, yet, but he learns/he'll learn quickly from his mistakes... Thank you for continuing to read this and the insightful feedback, affirming what is coming across--truly appreciate it!
This chapter brings out the cruelty of the young who are still finding their way and the friendship-rivalry between Severus and Regulus And, of course, the ambivalent feelings of Severus, Regulus, Lucius, and Nagini. This is contrasted with the attitude of Abraxas who could have had a powerful ally in Nagini if he had been more flexible. Perhaps ambivalence isn't all bad. It was quite a bit to pack into one chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for continuing to read and the feedback! Yes, I wanted to touch upon the seeds of cruelty manifested in earlier forms in them, and try to convey the different kinds of ambivalence they are each feeling at this time in their lives, now being forced to respond to people/things they haven't before. Abraxas is quite rigid and decisive, hardened by the past and resolute on how he wants/demands his world to be for the future. Thank you again!
An impressive chapter. Good portraits done in a subtle manner - both characters and relationships. Nagini still immature and impulsive.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for the read and the feedback! I was trying to set up the Slytherins and their very 'mature', polished and ordered world that Nagini has been plunged into versus her disordered, unpolished and impulsive nature and background... Thank you again for the specific feedback, truly appreciate it!
Continued, unrelenting portrait of the Malfoys.
There is some inner core of Nagini that that affects even Abraxas.
Not certain about Hagrid's comment on Nagini just being let out since I though she had already spent the autumn at school.
The Malfoys gaining their wealth by a special, magical device fits canon where special, magical devices are important. It also portrays the Malfoys to not be strategic planners since an ancient house of long-lived individuals could gradually accumulate enormous wealth.
There could be more discussion of the accusations against Nagini since it might have been self defense, but self defense not tempered by the self control that the Malfoys appear to lack.
(Still not my type of story, but I can rate it on the basis of imagination and unfolding narrative.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and the specific feedback! You've given me a lot to think about, and how I can clean up or connect more of the narrative logically in Hagrid's comments and other parts; some points I had purposefully left convoluted--lol!--such as more about Nagini's defense, etc., but other points are just sloppy narrative. More clarity will come in the next few chapters about her schooling, about her being in Durmstrang in the autumn-- sorry that the scarceness of this narrative has been left out here, but it'll be detailed in a later chapter... Thank you again for your precious time and patience, and generous rating--it's wonderful to get constructive feedback about such a roughly constructed storyline--I deeply appreciate your input!
Severus does not believe that living well is the best revenge, but for some reason, when confronted with retribution against Nagini for her past wrongs (according to the Malfoys), he is uncomfortable. Perhaps he likes revenge in the abstract, but the reality of it repels him. This is canon Severus where he offers insults and injustice, but protects the students from any real danger. Neither Severus or Regulus approve of the Malfoys. Good portrayal of Malfoy arrogance.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yes, I wanted to capture some level of insecurity and confusion in Severus at this earlier point in his life... before he becomes the full, specific resolved character we experience in adult canon... I felt the need of retribution is playing an influence in him on some levels, abstractly, and the notion of revenge is what has been and will be an influence on him, but yes, the reality is always something different... Severus' duality on so-many levels is something I wanted to explore... I was always profoundly struck by the inherent ethical choices within Severus and Regulus that differed (revealed finally in DH) from the others in Voldemort's followers, etc. Thank you again for your generous feedback.
The narrative begins in-the-middle with a dramatic scene and proceeds to offer some explanation of current events and to suggest underlying motives. (This is not my type of story, but I must rate it as a literary effort.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh goodness,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for your kindness of giving this a read and leaving feedback! I truly appreciate it. However, as if you can't already tell--lol!-- this was my very first, ever, fledgling attempt at writing fanfiction--I had just discovered the wild wayward goings-on and wonderful Potter verse and fandom universe, and it was started and written at an unusually strange time of my life, etc., etc. (further excuses elaborating on exploratory pulp fiction thingys, etc.) It took a very long time to discover one-shots and drabbles in this universe, which I so much enjoy now. So please, especially knowing that it is not your type of story, and it will only get worse in this and other aspects, please don't feel the need to read on--of course, I'm gobsmacked to have a writer of your calibre read and make time to constructively leave feedback, but it may be too painful an experience for you--and I'd much rather your energy go to your own writing and more posting as soon as possible!Again, regardless, thank you for your kindness & consideration with this newbie's noodling(s).
So instead of a lovely outing to Hogsmeade, it's detention with the Gryffindorks for Sev and Nagini? Those Slytherins are a tough bunch to be around, especially when the crazy one is among them. You have Bellatrix spot on- just the right amount of madness combined with malevolence, and her dialogue is perfect - "Miss hoity-toity Malfoy" made me laugh out loud. Poor Nagini just can't find her place -not quite a Ravenclaw and uneasy amongst the Slytherins (well most of them ;)) Looking forward to reading how detention works out. 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks
Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Great characterisation of the Marauders in this chapter, and I loved Snape's impudent request that Potter kneel down and kiss his toes. I'd happily kiss any body part he offered me... Ahem... You conveyed blistering, crackling tension between Snape and his enemies - well done! The scene in the Ravenclaw Tower stairwell provided a wonderful contrast, and Snape's "Brilliant..." declaration was a lovely intimate and adolescent moment which made me smile. No doubt that Nagini's universe has been forever changed by this encounter. Lovely work! 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Oh, I love this chapter. Nagini and Severus' seductive hidey-hole was such a tease Lol! I was ready to scream at those damn Marauders for interupting. But it only added to the tension and made their eventual getting together all the more sensual, and oh was it worth the wait.I loved it all... oh but his baritone voice healing her arm *swoon*- now that's an image I'll remember for a while. I will be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else
Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
More sweet solace please. Pretty please with a cherry on top!That was so sensual. I love the way you took us into Snape's mind and made us privy to all that he was aware of: Nagini's physical response to him, her embarasment and obvious feelings of attraction. I've said it before and I'll say it again, 'What is a spurned wizard to do?'And about that spurning: Ms Evans is more than a little insensitive here, yet I truly believe that canon Lily did not think him capable of love or devotion... well HE showed HER. Pity it was too late.The scene with Snape and Lily sems like a very likely encounter; it could almost be a missing scene. Of course Snape, being Snape focuses his hatred onto James not Lily as if SHE has been Imperiused by the big bad toe-rag. And trust the Marauders to be the instigators of snoggus interutptus. GET EM, SEV!!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
*click* *Click* *CLICK* What? No more? *taps fingers* Pot, meet kettle. :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
I hope Sev really can cope with whatever Bella has up her sleeve. :0
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Sybill is flaky but hilarious. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Marcus is pretty creepy, but in his own way may serve to protect Nagini. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Lovely to see an update on this story 
The scene between Severus and Lily in the library was beautifully choreographed and utterly heartbreaking. I can just imagine such a conversation taking place as a result of his bereavement, but of course Lily managed to pour salt in the wound and give it a rub for good measure. Poor Severus, so blind to the consequences of his decisions and unable to comprehend the error of his ways.I also enjoyed the moments outside the hospital wing with Nagini, despite the rude interruption. Looking forward to finding out who throws the first hex!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
OOOh! nag! VERY hot chapter. Absolutely brilliantly written, full of evocative imagery. Snapes, disappointment and bitterness over Lily and his carnal lust and inability to resist Bella was tangible. I loved this line:"But, like a sinister dream of dark yearning, Bellatrix stood before him." WOW!Then the close with the description of Nagini's sexual fantasies was equally well done because of the contrast between the darkness of Snape and Bella's act and the almost innocence of Nagini's because it was the realisation of genuine feelings of affection towards our hero. Wonderful chapter my dear!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Hexgirl, thank you so much for the lovely, specific feedback - truly appreciate it! Sorry Sev's Slytherin, human side was depicted - he just wasn't in the mood to back down from the wench - and definitely man enough to take her on - LOL! Thank you for the feedback regarding Nagini's sexual awakenings mixed with her awakening feelings for Sev - had to start somewhere - lol! Again, thank you for your support on all levels! xxx
I hope it won't be detrimental to Nagini that she's been put in Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the read and review! Really appreciate the feedback! The Slytherin family members will definitely be irked by this, as well as a few of their cohorts, but there's one Slytherin that's discreetly 'got her back' ;-) Thanks, again!