The Haunted Bed and Other Dilemmas: Part One
Chapter 12 of 22
nagandsevSettling down for the evening in her House, Nagini is confronted with a variety of dilemmas.
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Nagini lay in her canopy bed, breathing in the sweet fragrance of the cinnamon-scented healing balm which she had rubbed on her neck before lying down. She reflected on how earlier, after unpacking, she had rushed to change into her nightgown, and in doing so, she had forgotten about the welts on her back from Abraxas' flogging.
Having been perched on one corner of Nagini's bed, Hibiscus saw the swollen lash marks and then gazed at Nagini with her protuberant eyes, saddened at the sight of the mercurial Malfoy's marred skin; but then, the effervescent blonde witch simply commented, "Some of those wales still look angry." Lithely crossing over, Hibiscus picked up one of the small tins of balms, which Professor Flitwick had given to Nagini earlier in his consultation study, and she offered, "Let me help you."
Nagini had been too ashamed to say anything, but merely turned away from Hibiscus. After a few seconds of silence, the uneasy Malfoy lowered her gown to her waist and waited. Neither girl spoke as the sylphlike blonde witch carefully rubbed the balms of Dittany and Murtlap on Nagini's back.
When Hibiscus had finished applying them, she returned the salves to her roommate's vanity table and smiled serenely. "You've nothing to be ashamed of... The person who did this to you should be ashamed."
Nagini did not reply; softly, Hibiscus wished her good night and slipped through the shimmering curtain which curved around, sectioning off and enclosing each separate sleeping area of the dormitory room, used in the late evenings for privacy. The pensive Malfoy waited a second and, assured that all had retired for the evening, carried one healing balm with her to her bed. She untied the midnight-blue curtains from each bedpost and drew them closed.
Lying down, she then raised her nightgown to her waist, and took some balm, slowly rubbing it on an older, burned scar on the inside of her upper left thigh. It probably won't help it to disappear, but it can't hurt, just to soothe the dryness... Slowly, she massaged the salve on the taut, thin skin. It no longer hurt her physically, only a tingeing tightness now and then. As for any emotional scar regarding how she had received it, she had grown used to that; accepted it as a part of her life: an irreparable part. On some level, it actually had strengthened and shielded her, for she allowed no one to touch her, only very selectively; therefore, she felt she could control and not allow anyone to hurt her. Physically, as well as emotionally, that is.
As the soothing fragrance of cinnamon, mixed with the Essence of Murtlap, filled the air of her now enclosed canopy bed, she recalled the event in which she had received the mark.
"Gunther! Rolf! That's it, hold her down, tight!" The young blond wizard, Karl Von Sturmberg of Durmstrang, commanding them, swirled his wand upwards, using all his concentration, and whispered, "Flagrate!" A burning, fiery line appeared in the air, and Karl began to draw with his wand a specific shape: a straight vertical line, adding a circle on top of the line, and then, he enclosed both line and circle in a triangle.
With the symbol of Gellert Grindelwald complete, he guided it towards the tightly held figure of Nagini, fastened to the floor by his two bullyboy mates. "Spread her legs," hissed the vicious Von Sturmberg. "Wider!"
Pulling her skirt up to her waist, Von Sturmberg guided the burning symbol to her inner thigh and branded her flesh. Over her screams from the searing pain, Karl crouched down more comfortably between his yobbos. Satisfied Grindelwald's symbol had burnt into her permanently, he lifted the fiery line in the air above them and grabbed her hair, jerking her head upwards. He spat out, "Now, you and all will know you for what you are...an abomination created by that heretic hag who you called your mother: Lucretia de Malfoy!"
The seconds that followed were all one blurry wave of hatred and blinded violence.
Before the Durmstrang bullyboys could further continue and carry out their hate crime, all three assailants were thrown away by the explosive force of a nonverbal hex from the avenging witch. Gunther's head had cracked against the dark stone wall, and he lay unconscious; Rolf's wand arm's elbow had snapped, broken, on his body's contact against the stone. The leader's body had been knocked back and slid across the floor. Karl lay near the brink of a dangerous precipice, one of the open-sided staircases of Durmstrang.
Through tears of uncontrollable rage, in the blink of an eye, Nagini had Summoned her wand from Rolf's pocket. In fury, she pointed it at Von Sturmberg's fading Flagrate spell, the lines weakly hovering still in the air. In wrathful Parseltongue, she hissed an Incendio spell. As the dark fire took the shape of a serpent in its swelling flames, it swallowed the dwindling Flagrated symbol, and with a decisive swish of her wand, Nagini directed the cursed flames to pursue its intended human target: Karl Von Sturmberg.
Once set on fire, he had, naturally in the torturous pain, panicked, running and thrashing about, and had fallen backwards off the open-sided stone staircase, plummeting to his death.
Blinking back the painful memory, Nagini wiped the tears off her cheeks and tucked the healing balm under her pillow.
Pushing the horrid event aside, Nagini continued to ruminate and willed herself to think over the immediate day's events; she refused to dwell on Abraxas, Qualmsick or anything else related to Malfoy Manor or further back in her past. She turned on her side and reflected, rather, on her newest surroundings and the other witches she was now sharing this serene, elegant room with.
She remembered how Hibiscus had helped her finish unpacking her belongings from her trunk after the evening meal when two other witches entered the Ravenclaw dormitory room.
"Hello! I'm Charity Burbage, and this is Mildred Bagnold. We're two more of your roommates."
Nagini shook their hands.
"Mildred's sister, Millicent, is rumoured to be the next Minister of Magic; so, you're rubbing shoulders with the elite here!" teased Charity good-naturedly.
"Don't listen to Charity; I'm not a pompous prat like Belby, spouting off my family's positions," assured Mildred.
Nagini's fifth roommate entered wide-eyed and gave a knowing look to Nagini. "The haunted bed!" croaked out Trelawney.
As all of the canopy beds with midnight-blue curtains in their room seemed identical, Nagini only looked at the portentous witch, not knowing how to respond.
The levelheaded Bagnold asked, "You've already met Sybill, yes?"
Shaking Trelawney's limply offered hand, Nagini quickly turned back to organize the remaining items that she had tossed on her bed. As she placed the array of marble-handled brushes, combs and hairpins in proper order inside the centre drawer of her ornate vanity table, Nagini sentimentally thought of the little elf. Dobby! He remembered how I liked these so much and packed them!
But then, the sweet memory of Dobby faded, replaced by unpleasant ones of Malfoy Manor. Nagini gazed fleetingly at herself in the blue and bronze trimmed, oval looking glass above the table and saw the dark circles under her eyes. Her back muscles twinged. Distracting herself by stretching her neck and rolling her shoulders gently, she looked around the room in more detail as the other girls chatted randomly.
The Ravenclaw dormitory was a light-filled, rounded chambre with bewitched constellations on its high, domed ceiling, mirroring those found in the common room. As Nagini gazed upwards, the stars, almost imperceptibly, moved, continually forming different formations. She blinked and took a deep breath, admiring the pleasing décor of the sleeping chambre. On its graceful arched windows, there hung blue and bronze silk draperies. The rich midnight-blue carpet gave softly under her feet, and beside each bed, an antiquated bookcase protruded out, beckoning to be filled with tomes of wisdom. Peaceful... Lovely, just lovely!
Hibiscus had picked up the old dragon-skinned book Nagini had unpacked, placed on her bed covering beside Lucius' used sixth-year books and his Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy.
"Ooooh," cooed Hibscus, opening the slightly tattered, fragile binding. "Runes! Ancient Runes and glyphs You're quite a Runologist!"
Seeing the other inquisitive Ravenclaws immediately flock around Hibiscus to get a gander at the antiquated curiosa, Nagini quickly dispelled the notion. "No, I'm not at all...can't even read one symbol! It was my mother's book."
Hibiscus' protuberant eyes, filled with wonder, gazed upwards, and she asked, "Oh, Nagini, may I borrow it for a few days? To show to Xenophilius? He'll be quite delighted...runic scripture is one of his specialties! Some runic texts scribed in pamphlet-like parchments are occasionally circulated within the student body. They were penned by Xeno; he is quite passionate about Runology."
"Yes!" squeeled Charity in excitement, pointing steadfastly on one page. "Muggle runes!"
Gazing at Nagini in awe, thoroughly delighted, Burbage sputtered, "Your mother was a scholar in Muggle Studies? Fluent in the ways of the Elder Futwark? It's unprecedented! Fascinating!"
"Burbage is a Muggles freak," joked Mildred. Seeing the worried look on Nagini's face, she clarified, "Madly keen on all things Muggle...ancient and new!" Then Mildred remembered, "Oh, speaking of eccentrics, Professor Flitwick wishes to see you in the consultation study. It's the little snuggery straight across the common room from the base of the dormitory steps. It's like his second office...but just for Ravenclaws, of course." The unrestrained Bagnold snapped her fingers searching for a phrase. "What's the word Muggles use, Charity? Oh, yes pronto!" She smiled, pleased with herself. "Just love it...sounds like a spell!"
As Nagini crossed to leave, she saw that all four roommates had perched around on her bed, utterly immersed in the strange old book. So much for my bed being haunted! Even Sybill's joined in! They were all captivated and chirping excitedly. Nagini didn't bother to interrupt their 'Oohs' and 'Ahs' as they shared esoteric observations from each new discovery the book held.
Silently slipping out, Nagini made her way down to the wide, circular common room, passing in front of the white-marble statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. Giving an admiring look to the founder of the Ravenclaw House, she saw Professor Flitwick's door open.
The tiny wizard appeared and called out, "Ah, Miss Malfoy! Please, do come in!" She crossed through the spacious room filled with bookcases, tables and chairs, and soon found herself warmly greeted and snuggly seated in the cosy little study.
The half-goblin wizard smiled and noted, "Quite a day for you, Miss Malfoy!"
Suddenly nervous under the wise gaze of her Head of House, she could only reply, "Yes, sir."
Cordially, Professor Filius Flitwick got out a circular tin from his desk drawer. He opened and placed it in front of her on the desktop. A Baroque tune tinkled out. Nagini peered closer and saw little colourful cupcakes inside it. Filius waved gracefully over the tin with his wand, and the icing covered pastries began to twirl and swirl, forming stately minuet movements, only to then jerk and jive in a rhythmic pattern as the tune exuding from the box changed to upbeat Jazz.
Nagini smiled at the sweetness of such a display of Light magic. "It's lovely..."
"Have one! They're as delectable as they are delightful!" Filius assured her, helping himself to one. Nagini took one as well. As she bit into the tasty cake, Professor Flitwick then referred to a list he had been analyzing on his desk and gently explained, "The Headmaster has proposed the following for your present timetable; the staff will immediately begin to assess your skills during classes. In a fortnight, we will re-evaluate you. If need be, we'll adjust your curriculum, and at that time, add on a few electives to help fill out anything missing from your," Flitwick hesitated, "past training, private or otherwise."
Finishing her little cupcake, Nagini took the parchment Filius proffered. On it was written: Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology.
"As your housemates may have told you already Lovegood and Hope can be quite thorough Ravenclaw House prizes learning, wisdom, wit and creativity in its members. I look forward to the diversity and individuality you shall bring to our House. You are the first Malfoy ever to be Sorted into Ravenclaw..." Flitwick broke off, as another thought occurred to him, and reached for a small loosely wrapped, half-opened packet. He gave it to Nagini.
"This was, um, delivered earlier, intended for you."
She unfolded the wrapping. Nestled inside were three small tins. The scent of cinnamon protruded heavily from one. A tiny note was underneath them. Written in spidery, cursive handwriting, it read: 'Cinnamon... oil-based chamomile, Dittany, and Essence of Murtlap'. Nagini gave a confused look to Professor Flitwick.
"I checked them," he admitted, slightly embarrassed. "They seem to be healing balms..." Gently, Filius enquired, "Have you an injury?"
Nagini blinked and stared at the tiny, tarnished tins. Thinking quickly, she said, "No. No, I just usually have some with me as a precaution. I'm very clumsy. Prone to accidents..."
Suddenly, a flashback of waking up in her boudoir at Malfoy Manor, and gazing through a haze of excruciating pain, she saw Dobby being kicked by Lucius. Her blond cousin, who was holding a similar, larger tin as those in her lap, was hissing at the wretched little creature, "Don't you dare touch her! Use some of your filthy powers to apply it to her back!"
Lucius! Lucius must have brought these to me! Momentarily feeling guilty for snubbing him earlier, she explained further to her Head of House, "I must have forgotten to pack them. My cousin delivered these?"
Clearing his throat, Flitwick delicately informed her, "This packet, the contents therein, was confiscated by Prefect Belby from a second-year, Terry Boot. Mr Boot can't remember exactly who gave it to him, although he does remember that it was a Slytherin." Flitwick cleared his throat again. "There has been an incident: Marcus is in the Hospital Ward, nothing too serious; however..." It was difficult for Filius to say it directly. "Miss Malfoy, although we strive and pride ourselves here in Ravenclaw to resolve conflicts of interest, beliefs, and such, intellectually, diplomatically, wit over brute force, as it were...there are always unforeseen exceptions to the rule. Marcus and Lucius are these. Our Mr Belby is the exemplar, model student: our Head Boy," Nagini bit the inside of her lip to not huff derisively, "however, any time he and Mr Malfoy are left to their own devices, there have always been incidents." He gave a knowing look to Nagini.
"Professor Flitwick, please, what has happened?"
"Marcus was found a short time ago, face down, in his own blood from a broken nose. Someone had used a Petrificus Totalus on him and kicked him in the face. Inappropriate behaviour has occurred before between the two." Flitwick pushed his glasses up a bit, momentarily stalling; but then, he asked, "Were you expecting Mr Malfoy to deliver these? Would you be willing to attest to this before myself, Professor Slughorn of Slytherin, and the Headmaster?"
Nagini's eyes widened in panic. To squeal on Lucius? But what if it wasn't him? Of course, it was...who else? Only he knows why I would need these...
Hesitating, Nagini asked, "Professor Flitwick, surely Marcus knows whether it was, indeed, Lucius or not? Surely, he can identify him?"
"That is the crux of the matter; Marcus' pride won't let him name a name, and without anyone else to do so, my hands are tied."
"I'm sorry, Professor," Nagini felt her face burning in cowardly shame, but couldn't bring herself to agree to do it. Lucius! Moreover, there was the faintest nagging doubt in her mind connected, incomprehensibly, with the scent of cinnamon filling her senses. It wasn't Lucius' face, but someone else's, an unidentifiable presence in her subconscious, teasing and intangible. "I...I can't say it, for certain..."
Disappointed, Flitwick's attention was distracted as he noticed Nagini's hair changing. Dark red streaks flowed through her brunette locks.
"Ah, yes, wonderful! The Headmaster informed me that you are a Metamorphmagus."
Self-conscious, Nagini touched her hair. "Not not a pure " she stopped, having become flustered. "My Metamorphmagus powers fluctuate from voluntary to involuntary responses, reacting to various emotional stimuli." Nagini stopped and waited. At that moment, she was feeling guilty, ashamed, but also angry for having to be put on the spot. She dwelt on what would happen if she stepped up and accused Lucius on behalf of Marcus. What will it gain me, except for more trouble? She fingered the bewitched ring on her finger. For whatever reasons, Belby doesn't want to accuse Lucius himself, or he would have... It's unfair for Professor Flitwick to ask me to! If Marcus won't... And yet, if I truly want to disassociate myself from Lucius and show my loyalty and respect to Flitwick, the Ravenclaw House, I should do the right thing!
Through her fog of doubt, the faint, unidentifiable imaged face triggered by the cinnamon scent became clearer to her: Severus Snape. Her brow knitted; she was utterly confused.
"Professor Flitwick, I'm sorry, but perhaps I could sleep on it? If that is all for now, may I please be excused?"
Knowing it was best for the young woman to get some rest, Professor Flitwick complied, "But of course, Miss Malfoy. If you haven't any questions for me at this time, do return to your dormitory. You can ask or discuss with me anything which comes to mind in the morning. You'll start your day off with two hours of Charms, back to back. How do you find your room?"
"Lovely, sir, truly lovely." Thanking him, she rose to leave, only to turn and ask, "Sir, my wand? I was told..." Abraxas' devious smugness flashed through her mind, "that I would receive it upon my arrival."
"Ah, yes, the Headmaster shall give it to you right before Charms class. After breakfast, you may go directly to his office and, afterwards, come to room 2e, the Charms classroom, located on the third floor."
Taking the little tins and thanking the Ravenclaw Head again, she left, eager to return to her room. She sighed heavily, dreading having to meet with Dumbledore alone. The last time she had spoken with him was in the bowels of the Ministry, the day of her hearing in front of the Wizengamot. Moreover, she could never forget her very first meeting with the omnipotent wizard before that in her gaol cell; his deceptive, grandfatherly blue eyes had seared through her with wrathful judgment, smiting her shields of denial and avoidance instantaneously.
She quaked in her boots at the memory of the angered Dumbledore. Her only comfort was that she would be reunited with her wand. With this hope, and that the Headmaster would be mercifully brief, she returned to the dormitory room.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Nagini and Severus Tale
77 Reviews | 8.27/10 Average
WOW. You just left me speechless.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback, truly appreciate it!
Phew... I got so engrossed reading the chapters one after the other that I just forgot to review! This chapter was amazing... I particularly liked (I know that's not an appropriate word here) the interaction between Lily and Sev... it seemed like a missing page from the JKR books... thanks for rediscovering it for us! Also enjoyed the really adorable first kiss:)... Looking forward to a beautiful relationship that would heal two scarred hearts!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this, and so happy that you are enjoying it--had to explore some interaction between him and Lily as she was so influential on him... Needed to explore what a first kiss would be like between these two at this point, so I'm happy that it came across as intended. Again, thank you for reading and your feedback, truly appreciate it!
It's such an amazingly original idea to portray Nagini as a Malfoy girl who is so different from the rest of her family! I wonder where the Malfoys got that name from, though! Nagini is the Sanskrit word for a female serpent and I have been traditionally intrigued by Jo's choice of name for Voldie's serpent! :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading, truly appreciate it! This was my first attempt into the wonderful universe of HP fanfiction💕Hmm... I'm trying to finish off the last chapters, so since meeting you, maybe I can write in some justification for the name... At this point, I can't change her biological origin for this tale... but maybe her mother traveled to India when in hiding from Voldy, before becoming impregnated, and became inspired/enlightened by some Sanskrit parchments she came across... hmmm, I'll reflect on it--and dedication to you!:-)Thank you again!
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Lol! That's again an amazing idea. And that would explain a lot of things too, considering that a Nagini (in the Hindu mythology context) is often capable of changing into a beautiful (and often potentially dangerous) human female. Could our Nagini be like that? Well, we have to find out!:)
PS: I think I NOW know the reason for your unique penname!:)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
In gratitude for assistance offered, namaste,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from MayavanavihariniHarini (Reviewer)
Ah, namaste dear!
A chapter of action and revelations.For this chapter, the snake bearer arises and the snake in two parts is a symbol of duplicity.Damphna and Lucretia betray Grindewald.Severus demonstrates himself worthy of the Dark Lord who he now hates and will soon plan to betray.Nagini accepts becoming a hit witch, joining those who killed her caretaker, but possiby planning revenge against their leader.Nagini compartmentalizing her life, fooling herself.One might make a wild guess on first reading canon that Severus's cruelty is a mask and reaction against his caring nature, betraying himself.The perspicacious Narcissa is shocked at her own fate.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for continuing to read this and for your generous feedback in the review--it means so very much to me, truly deeply value and appreciate you taking the time to let me know what is coming across in this long-winded tale! The next chapter will continue to push the action and further revelations, I hope to answer most if not all of the back/side story of Lucretia, Dymphna, Grindewald, Abraxas, etc. , as well (if I can get it 'right') as moving on with the Nag, Sev, Narcissa, et alia in the present/main storyline. I'm realising that instead of one more chapter, I'll need at least three... Yes, canon Severus seems to have worn many masks, hiding (and yes, absolutely, betraying) his caring nature and yet wishing for something elusive and/or embittered/consumed by the lack of it, or 'a man hagridden by the future' (interpreted by me as 'tormented by his life') as the singular C.S. Lewis described some, etc. Yes, Nagini is in a fluctuating state--her decision(s) to be made in the next chapter. And Narcissa... as revealed by the end of the HP canon, she (along with Severus) had the power to deceive and conceal her thoughts and feelings from Voldemort himself, let alone Severus, Lucius, Bellatrix... She is one of the many underwritten characters in fanfic imho, and I'll try not to get too derailed from the main plot with her--lol!--she just preoccupies me sometimes, and I wanted to give a nod to her and her predicament/fate. Again, thank you so very much for your thoughts and observations, can't quite find the proper words to thank you enough... Wishing you all the best, now and for the New Year!
The impression is that of a bridging chapter, but one where emotions are gathering below the surface and getting ready to explode.Deprived of nurturing when young, Severus clings to any sign of friendship and romance. Does that explain his continued attachment to Lily even though he has found Nagini? He could sneer and say Lily got the prat she deserved.Finally get a hint at what Nagini's mother did - excessive ambition and pride, a Frankenstein scenario.Would a memory loss obliterate her attraction to Severus? It appears to be returning at the end.Bit of irony having Pandora warn Xenophilius about being cautious with spells.Dumbledore takes Nagini away from people who would be her friends and who can even admire her mother although they would say her mother did transgress if they learned what she had done. He dumps her among her tormentors.As always, clear elucidation of complex plot and characters.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, truly, deeply appreciate it! Yes, things are about to explode, in the next chapter, exactly, on several levels. It seems that Severus has a deep unreasonable fixation attachment to Lily, truly obssessed with her from early in his life--an obsession that carved a deep groove within that he blindly associates with a kind of 'goodness' he had never known, being deprived so as he was... He seems to have had very limited exposure--his persistent preoccupations with people will be explored and highlighted in the remaining chapters--but I agree and perhaps he will put Lily and her prat in a box, label it, and throw it away on an old shelf to rot.:-)Yes, more explicit information and details of Nagini's mother's actions (and others) in the next chapter, her and her cronies' endless sub-plot laid out fully and put to rest. Nagini's memory loss will be shown to have been selective, obliterated selectively, and the question of can an emotion 'record' be stronger than a mental record, either exist without the other, or will one enhance and strengthen the other to full retainment? Yes, perhaps bad taste about the Pandora and Xeno comment about dubious, untested spells--but I couldn't resist... I meant it as more bitter irony, as Luna's mother could only have been quite a unique persona, such a shame she died the way she did.Keenly seen by you, Dumbledore's plans for Nagini will be to prove a point of his, one of several actually, without leniency, an 'all or nothing' scenario... All the loose ends will be tied together--currently working on the last three chapters, simultaneously--lol! (will ty to get them down to maybe two if I can compact the narrative and dialogues and tie together everything... We'll see). Thank you again for your incredible feedback and inspiring observations--nourishment for the Muse, and always deeply grateful,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
The irony about Pandora is not in bad taste at all. It says she is more concerned about Xenopilius thqn about herself. It is a rich chapter with more than mentioned in the review: Narcissa steps forward, the contrast of the schoolboy bullying of Sirius with the adult evil of Lucius, the portrait of Slughorn eager not to ruffle powerful feathers.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for contnuing to read and for the generous feedback,
Thank you for another wonderful chapter!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for reading this and the review--truly appreciate your kind feedback!
A seemingly straight-forward chapter but numerous undercurrents are playing themselves out.
How did the Dark Lord and company know they would be gathering horklumps? The runespoor is replaying the Garden of Eden. What is Rodophus's interest in Nagini? Anything besides lust? (It's been a long time since I read the previous chapters.) Dumbledores's reason for keeping Nagini away from the Malfoys may be to keep her away from their evil influence when the intent should be to protect her.
There does seem to be a belief running through magic fiction that once touched by the Dark, a person is not redeemable. (I am reminded of the oath required of all US Civil Servants: "I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party.")
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback! Yes, it's a turning point; a certain Slytherin Head Boy let it slip out about the nature of their detention (in next chapter), to the convenience of the Dark Lord & Rodolphus/company. For Rodolphus, having possessed Nagini sexually represents several things to him (more later on that), but mostly a warped game between him and Lucius of sorts. Dumbledore will have an overall reason for wishing to keep her away from the Malfoys and their support of the Dark Lord and accompanying agendas; he'll attempt to protect as long as its needed for his purposes as well.Hmmm... the matter of redeemablility... will be explored. Love the quote! Immediately thought of it applying to Dumbledore somehow first--lol!Thank you again, truly appreciate your commentary and insight!
McNair, Nott, Goyle, and Regulus are acting like adolesents, which they are. Narcissa and Bellatrix are coquetes, each in her own way. Lucius is acting mature, partly because he has been trained to do so and partly because in is in the throes of romance, which everyone knows and accepts. Nagini is flustered. Severus is acting mature, but no one takes exception to this, which is odd because adults do not take kindly to an adolescent not acting his age.Severus wants to oomfort Nagini, but he only plans to ease her hurt after Abraxas has finished with her. He does not plan to protect her by confronting or eliminating Abraxas. Similarly, Lucius wants Narcissa to acknowledge the Dark Lord. Power and the social order are dominant. Are the men correct? Would they be able to neither have nor help Nagini and Narcissa if they did not first secure their place in the social order?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback--truly appreciate it! Yes, in the world of this story, power and social order are dominant; without securing one's place in the present social order, Severus' power, his lacking social order power, at this point in his life, leaves him helpless to act effectively--how his impulses or wishes would otherwise act... thus, perhaps, motivating him to attain social power at any cost (blindly, being still a youth) in order to be more effective, and have the so-called freedom to take matters into his own hands...At this point, the futility of confronting or attempting to eliminate Abraxas would not be wise... It's one thing to see the signs of domestic abuse and another to act upon it immediately on the behalf of someone he has just become acquainted with in the rigid perimeters of his world. Lucius is his father's son... and all the cliches that go with 'the apple not falling far from the tree', etc. Again, thank you!
Response from MHaydn (Reviewer)
You are correct. The review was too focused on the similarities of Nagina and Narcissa, and it sounded too harsh. Even in more normal circumstances, a well-intentioned intervention can cause more harm than good.
The chapter presents the Malfoys as cold, calculating, and treacherous, but they are not caricatures. Their motivation is power: personal, family, class. Abraxas is one who is too extreme or too inflexible - in some ways a tragic figure. Nagini's mother suggests he is goaded by fear. Perhaps his behavior can be explained by the absence of the Midas stone, which would bring part of the story full circle. Lucius suggests using a display of understanding out of a mix of compassion and strategy. He is so eager to please his father, however, that he presses Nagini too hard and she becomes suspicious and demands a trade of information instead of freely giving it - a price for his mistake.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
More will come out a bit later about Abraxas and the crux of the matter, way back when, between him, his sister and Riddle. And yes, power is meant to be their driving force; I still wanted Lucius to be 'in process' of becoming 'a slippery' agent, not yet as polished as the adult canon, yet, but he learns/he'll learn quickly from his mistakes... Thank you for continuing to read this and the insightful feedback, affirming what is coming across--truly appreciate it!
This chapter brings out the cruelty of the young who are still finding their way and the friendship-rivalry between Severus and Regulus And, of course, the ambivalent feelings of Severus, Regulus, Lucius, and Nagini. This is contrasted with the attitude of Abraxas who could have had a powerful ally in Nagini if he had been more flexible. Perhaps ambivalence isn't all bad. It was quite a bit to pack into one chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for continuing to read and the feedback! Yes, I wanted to touch upon the seeds of cruelty manifested in earlier forms in them, and try to convey the different kinds of ambivalence they are each feeling at this time in their lives, now being forced to respond to people/things they haven't before. Abraxas is quite rigid and decisive, hardened by the past and resolute on how he wants/demands his world to be for the future. Thank you again!
An impressive chapter. Good portraits done in a subtle manner - both characters and relationships. Nagini still immature and impulsive.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you for the read and the feedback! I was trying to set up the Slytherins and their very 'mature', polished and ordered world that Nagini has been plunged into versus her disordered, unpolished and impulsive nature and background... Thank you again for the specific feedback, truly appreciate it!
Continued, unrelenting portrait of the Malfoys.
There is some inner core of Nagini that that affects even Abraxas.
Not certain about Hagrid's comment on Nagini just being let out since I though she had already spent the autumn at school.
The Malfoys gaining their wealth by a special, magical device fits canon where special, magical devices are important. It also portrays the Malfoys to not be strategic planners since an ancient house of long-lived individuals could gradually accumulate enormous wealth.
There could be more discussion of the accusations against Nagini since it might have been self defense, but self defense not tempered by the self control that the Malfoys appear to lack.
(Still not my type of story, but I can rate it on the basis of imagination and unfolding narrative.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much for reading and the specific feedback! You've given me a lot to think about, and how I can clean up or connect more of the narrative logically in Hagrid's comments and other parts; some points I had purposefully left convoluted--lol!--such as more about Nagini's defense, etc., but other points are just sloppy narrative. More clarity will come in the next few chapters about her schooling, about her being in Durmstrang in the autumn-- sorry that the scarceness of this narrative has been left out here, but it'll be detailed in a later chapter... Thank you again for your precious time and patience, and generous rating--it's wonderful to get constructive feedback about such a roughly constructed storyline--I deeply appreciate your input!
Severus does not believe that living well is the best revenge, but for some reason, when confronted with retribution against Nagini for her past wrongs (according to the Malfoys), he is uncomfortable. Perhaps he likes revenge in the abstract, but the reality of it repels him. This is canon Severus where he offers insults and injustice, but protects the students from any real danger. Neither Severus or Regulus approve of the Malfoys. Good portrayal of Malfoy arrogance.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yes, I wanted to capture some level of insecurity and confusion in Severus at this earlier point in his life... before he becomes the full, specific resolved character we experience in adult canon... I felt the need of retribution is playing an influence in him on some levels, abstractly, and the notion of revenge is what has been and will be an influence on him, but yes, the reality is always something different... Severus' duality on so-many levels is something I wanted to explore... I was always profoundly struck by the inherent ethical choices within Severus and Regulus that differed (revealed finally in DH) from the others in Voldemort's followers, etc. Thank you again for your generous feedback.
The narrative begins in-the-middle with a dramatic scene and proceeds to offer some explanation of current events and to suggest underlying motives. (This is not my type of story, but I must rate it as a literary effort.)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh goodness,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for your kindness of giving this a read and leaving feedback! I truly appreciate it. However, as if you can't already tell--lol!-- this was my very first, ever, fledgling attempt at writing fanfiction--I had just discovered the wild wayward goings-on and wonderful Potter verse and fandom universe, and it was started and written at an unusually strange time of my life, etc., etc. (further excuses elaborating on exploratory pulp fiction thingys, etc.) It took a very long time to discover one-shots and drabbles in this universe, which I so much enjoy now. So please, especially knowing that it is not your type of story, and it will only get worse in this and other aspects, please don't feel the need to read on--of course, I'm gobsmacked to have a writer of your calibre read and make time to constructively leave feedback, but it may be too painful an experience for you--and I'd much rather your energy go to your own writing and more posting as soon as possible!Again, regardless, thank you for your kindness & consideration with this newbie's noodling(s).
So instead of a lovely outing to Hogsmeade, it's detention with the Gryffindorks for Sev and Nagini? Those Slytherins are a tough bunch to be around, especially when the crazy one is among them. You have Bellatrix spot on- just the right amount of madness combined with malevolence, and her dialogue is perfect - "Miss hoity-toity Malfoy" made me laugh out loud. Poor Nagini just can't find her place -not quite a Ravenclaw and uneasy amongst the Slytherins (well most of them ;)) Looking forward to reading how detention works out. 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks
Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gryffindorks? ROFL--Brilliant! May I use it? So happy that the mad one is coming across as intended and tickled that the words I'm forcing her to say work for you--only Bella can get away with some of this stuff--lol! Yes, I think Nag and Sev need a House of their own, preferably far, far away from it all, although an evening at the ol' Hog's Head would have been a nice outing, even temporarily--damn Gryffindorks Thank you so much for continuing to read this and your incredible support... It helps me push on and try to finish this--to get to the crux of it all and then the denouement--your generous feedback is so very much appreciated, dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
! Can't wait for your latest SS/HG--still squeeing!xx
Response from hexgirl (Reviewer)
Of course you can use it - I'd l;ike to claim it for my very own, but alas, I stole it from someone with wit :)
Great characterisation of the Marauders in this chapter, and I loved Snape's impudent request that Potter kneel down and kiss his toes. I'd happily kiss any body part he offered me... Ahem... You conveyed blistering, crackling tension between Snape and his enemies - well done! The scene in the Ravenclaw Tower stairwell provided a wonderful contrast, and Snape's "Brilliant..." declaration was a lovely intimate and adolescent moment which made me smile. No doubt that Nagini's universe has been forever changed by this encounter. Lovely work! 
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Thank you so much--so glad you liked Snape's impudent request and that the Marauder's scene came across as intended:-) About the 'Brilliant' reply moment - LOL! - just wanted a second of Severus being 'human' and like any other adolescent before things change further for them; Yup! Nagini's universe has definitely changed--thank you again for continuing to support my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Oh, I love this chapter. Nagini and Severus' seductive hidey-hole was such a tease Lol! I was ready to scream at those damn Marauders for interupting. But it only added to the tension and made their eventual getting together all the more sensual, and oh was it worth the wait.I loved it all... oh but his baritone voice healing her arm *swoon*- now that's an image I'll remember for a while. I will be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else
Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
I know it's on Wendy's top 25 things not-to-do list, but... again, what's a spurned Severus to do when sweet solace is offered in the nooks and crannies of Hogwarts? - LOL! I'm so glad you liked it--had to put in his voice:-) and wanted the image of another kind of intimacy between them, with the healing of her arm by him, before it progressed to something else Hexgirl, thank you so much for your continued support for my slow and sporadic Muse *hugs*
More sweet solace please. Pretty please with a cherry on top!That was so sensual. I love the way you took us into Snape's mind and made us privy to all that he was aware of: Nagini's physical response to him, her embarasment and obvious feelings of attraction. I've said it before and I'll say it again, 'What is a spurned wizard to do?'And about that spurning: Ms Evans is more than a little insensitive here, yet I truly believe that canon Lily did not think him capable of love or devotion... well HE showed HER. Pity it was too late.The scene with Snape and Lily sems like a very likely encounter; it could almost be a missing scene. Of course Snape, being Snape focuses his hatred onto James not Lily as if SHE has been Imperiused by the big bad toe-rag. And trust the Marauders to be the instigators of snoggus interutptus. GET EM, SEV!!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Dearest
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the lovely, provoking feedback-- I agree with you regarding canon Lily; she had her perceptions and needs and chose Potter to fulfil them, leaving Severus to his fate; both quite flawed characters and so very human:-) I just wanted to touch on another rejection scenario; however, my pov is that Sev always picked himself up, he'd learned early on to be his own man regardless of pain and rejection, a man of steel will and determination rather than an utter basket case, however, again, very human with needs and baggage of his own and yes, *deeply sentimental* underneath the layered facade;-)I could go on and on about what Lily meant and represented to Sev, like the rest of fandom - haha! - but JKR did it best, of course,--poor Snape... no mercy for him... but thankfully we are allowed to play and write fandom about him!So, 'what is a spurned wizard to do?''snoggus interutptus' - ROFL! Yea, Sev, GET EM!!! I realise I'm doing all of the 'don't dos' (I think it was on Wendy's no-no list, but I'm having too much fun, couldn't resist having my OC snog Sev in Hogwarts corridors: thanks for forgiving me!xxx)
*click* *Click* *CLICK* What? No more? *taps fingers* Pot, meet kettle. :P
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
'Pot, meet kettle.'--Hey, sweetie, I tagged you first - lol! Seriously, I'm in the middle of my dental problems/saga in RL, but will try to get the next chapter shaped up enough for a beta soon-- thank you so much for the clicks and finger tapping-- the best nudging there is!
Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)
OK, mine's done, just needs a final tweak and the beta. And yours...?
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
um... in a jumbled process of being-- the tweak and beta is the light at the end of the tunnel, far, far away-ish... *hiding and distracted by Xenophilius*--will get back to Sev asap... thanks for the double-whammy nudge xxx
I hope Sev really can cope with whatever Bella has up her sleeve. :0
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Me too!:O Bella never does anything without ulterior motives, and Severus may have experienced a lot of things, but this might be more than he could possibly imagine at this point in his life... Thank you so much for the read & feedback!:-)
Sybill is flaky but hilarious. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Gotta' give Sybill a little love, don't we? She just can't help herself sometimes it seems - lol! Thank you for reading and the feedback -- realy appreciate it! :-)
Marcus is pretty creepy, but in his own way may serve to protect Nagini. :)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Yeah, the pompous prat might be good for something... hmmm... Thank you so much for the read and the feedback, sunny! Really appreciate it!
Lovely to see an update on this story 
The scene between Severus and Lily in the library was beautifully choreographed and utterly heartbreaking. I can just imagine such a conversation taking place as a result of his bereavement, but of course Lily managed to pour salt in the wound and give it a rub for good measure. Poor Severus, so blind to the consequences of his decisions and unable to comprehend the error of his ways.I also enjoyed the moments outside the hospital wing with Nagini, despite the rude interruption. Looking forward to finding out who throws the first hex!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Oh,
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you for reading and the lovely, detailed feedback--really appreciate it! As time goes on, it just seems to me that, regardless, Lily would've kept to her decisions of rejecting him, and yet, Severus would've also kept his projected wish of Lily, how he wished/wishes her to be, and the excuses he'd make for her behaviour/rejection in his mind, regardless of how she treated him or what she told him... same old story, so sad... They were rudely interrupted, weren't they? Something will have to be done about that! Yes, I also am looking forward to the first hexes beng thrown-hehe! Thank you so much, again!
OOOh! nag! VERY hot chapter. Absolutely brilliantly written, full of evocative imagery. Snapes, disappointment and bitterness over Lily and his carnal lust and inability to resist Bella was tangible. I loved this line:"But, like a sinister dream of dark yearning, Bellatrix stood before him." WOW!Then the close with the description of Nagini's sexual fantasies was equally well done because of the contrast between the darkness of Snape and Bella's act and the almost innocence of Nagini's because it was the realisation of genuine feelings of affection towards our hero. Wonderful chapter my dear!
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Hexgirl, thank you so much for the lovely, specific feedback - truly appreciate it! Sorry Sev's Slytherin, human side was depicted - he just wasn't in the mood to back down from the wench - and definitely man enough to take her on - LOL! Thank you for the feedback regarding Nagini's sexual awakenings mixed with her awakening feelings for Sev - had to start somewhere - lol! Again, thank you for your support on all levels! xxx
I hope it won't be detrimental to Nagini that she's been put in Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
Response from nagandsev (Author of A Nagini and Severus Tale)
, thank you so much for the read and review! Really appreciate the feedback! The Slytherin family members will definitely be irked by this, as well as a few of their cohorts, but there's one Slytherin that's discreetly 'got her back' ;-) Thanks, again!