Chapter 20: Birthdays can be Emotional Things

Disclaimer: Nope, I've still not managed the transformation into JK Rowling, so I only own Sophia and the plot.

Author's Notes: As with all the previous chapters, beta credit must go to the marvellous DracoGurlFurever, and I must thank the Admin staff here, who've also helped me immensely with polishing up the chapters even further. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'd love to hear your thoughts by way of a review. :)

Chapter 20: Birthdays can be Emotional Things

The Marauders all served their detention with McGonagall that Friday evening for their part in the fight with the Slytherins the day before. Sophia had waited up until they all returned, and the rest of the girls had waited with her. They had spent the evening working on small pieces of homework before turning their attention to the latest gossip ... which mostly involved the other girls interrogating Sophia about her budding romance with Sirius, of course. Sophia had spent much of the conversation staring at Hamish and putting all her concentration into petting him as he sat in her lap, as uncomfortable as she was with her friends' insistent (and sometimes very direct) questions.

Hamish had luxuriated in the attention, purring loudly and turning himself so that he lay on his back, wedged between Sophia's legs as they stretched out in front of her. Sophia was relieved when the Marauders climbed through the portrait hole into the common room just after nine o' clock. Sirius and James were leading, talking animatedly between themselves; judging by the hand movements, Sophia guessed they were discussing something related to Quidditch, but she couldn't be sure what. The four boys headed over in the girls' direction, Sophia giving Sirius a large smile as he perched on the arm rest next to her.

'Hey,' she said. 'How was the detention?'

'It wasn't too bad ... we just had to clean the Transfiguration classroom,' Sirius replied, leaning down slightly to rub Hamish's stomach, his other arm draping behind Sophia on the back of the sofa.

'Yeah, I think McGonagall really didn't want to give us a detention, but the rules called for it. It's certainly the easiest one I've ever had from her,' James added. He, Remus, and Peter had all sat down on the rug, their backs to the fire, as the girls were currently occupying all the chairs.

'Well, you've certainly had enough of them over the years to be able to compare!' Melanie joked.

James gave a grin and a wink as his only reply.

'I'm glad it wasn't too bad,' Sophia said softly. She still felt a certain amount of responsibility over the whole mess. Hamish wriggled himself free from the V of Sophia's legs, jumping down to wander over to where Remus was. He plonked himself down on the rug, and Remus dutifully began to stroke the cat.

'What is with that cat and you?' Sirius asked, intrigued. 'He's obsessed with you!'

'It's my animal magnetism,' Remus responded suavely, cocking up an eyebrow as he gave them all a sly grin. There was a beat of absolute silence before the whole group erupted into a loud chorus of laughter.

*

The next couple of weeks passed quickly and relatively smoothly. Sophia was aware that the Slytherins, and Rosier in particular, were still keeping a close watch on her and Sirius, but so far they had not approached again. Sophia was simply praying that they would eventually get bored and leave her alone ... this time for good.

During the last week of January, Sophia and the rest of the girls returned to the common room after dinner to find a notice about the start of Apparition lessons pinned to the notice board. It said that the lessons were to be held in the Great Hall every Friday evening for four weeks, beginning on 4th February. As the girls were reading the rest of the details, the Marauders also returned from dinner.

'What's going on?' Peter asked the girls, trying to get close enough to read for himself.

'Apparition lessons ... they're starting on the 4th!' Lucy answered.

'Apparition lessons?' Sirius repeated excitedly. 'Brilliant! Just think, James, a turn on our heels, and we can go wherever we want!'

James positively beamed at the idea, and Sophia instantly recognised the shared glint in their eyes. She turned her attention to Remus, who had a look of indulgent exasperation on his face, and they both giggled softly.

'Not anywhere you want, Black,' Lily corrected. 'You will have to pass your test first, and you can't Apparate inside Hogwarts.'

'Ah, Evans, you're such a wild child ... a right bundle of laughs to be around,' Sirius replied sarcastically. Lily rolled her eyes, ignoring the jibe, and turned back to finish reading the notice sheet.

Slowly, the group moved away from the notice board, everyone excitedly discussing the upcoming lessons. Sophia was about to follow when she noticed Remus lingering, so she hesitated.

'Remus, are you okay?' she asked, sliding closer to him.

'Hmm,' he muttered, dragging his attention from the sheet of paper to her face.

She could see a slightly haunted look to his face and worried instantly.

He seemed to shake him free of whatever was troubling him, giving her a tight smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. 'Yeah, I'm fine.'

'No, you're not. Tell me what's wrong,' she coaxed.

'I can't go to the first lesson,' he answered flatly.

Sophia's brow crinkled in a puzzled frown. 'Why not?'

'Give you one guess,' he responded, looking sadly at her.

Sophia blinked rapidly as she tried to work out what Remus was going on about, when it suddenly hit her. 'The fourth is a full moon, isn't it?'

'Bingo,' he replied, his voice sounding both slightly bitter and sarcastic.

'Oh, Remus, I'm sorry.' Useless words, she knew, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

'Not your fault, Soph. It just is what it is.' He paused for a moment, glancing over to the rest of the group, who were still chattering away. 'I'm going to go up to my room for a bit ... if they ask, can you tell the guys I have a headache, but that I'm okay?'

Sophia nodded. 'Sure.'

'Thanks,' Remus replied before carefully making his way round the common room and going up to the boys' dormitory.

Sophia meanwhile, made her way back to the group. Sirius gave her an enquiring look, but she gently shook her head, smiling to reassure him everything was fine. He still looked concerned, but seemed to trust her judgement as he slipped an arm round her shoulders before turning his attention back to the conversation.

*

The following weekend marked the end of January, and therefore Lily's seventeenth birthday. The girls had all awoken early to begin the celebrations, piling onto Lily's bed as she ripped the paper off her assortment of presents.

'So, how do you feel?' Niahm asked. 'Do you feel different now you are officially an adult?'

'Officially old and over the hill, you mean?' Melanie teased, resulting in a ripple of laughter from the other girls.

'No different, really, from yesterday,' Lily replied. 'Only today, I'm the proud owner of a really nice pair of boots.' Lily smiled, picking up and hugging the pair of sheepskin-lined, black suede boots that her parents had given her to prove her point. 'Oh, and I can't forget the charm bracelet that you guys got me!' She held up her wrist and twisted it, causing the bracelet to make a jingling sound.

The girls had clubbed together to buy the goblin-made gold chain bracelet, and then each had selected a different charm to place on it. Melanie had selected a gold '17', Lucy had chosen a gold 'L', Niahm had picked a gold four leaf clover that had a small Amethyst on one of the leaves to signify Lily's birthstone, and Sophia had selected a unicorn charm that stood out as the only silver charm on the bracelet.

'You really like it?' Lucy asked, sounding still slightly nervous.

'I love it, really I do.' Lily beamed at the rest of the girls. 'I promise to treasure it always. Thank you.' She leaned forward and (rather awkwardly, considering they were all still sitting cross-legged on the bed) gave each of the girls a hug.

'So, is the birthday girl ready to go down to breakfast?' Sophia asked as she and Lily let go of one another.

'Absolutely ... I just need to decide which of the clothes I want to wear from what my parents sent!' Lily replied, spreading her arms wide to encompass the clothes that were piled up both in front and around her.

'Oh, well I'm sure we can help speed up the process,' Niahm said, giving Lily a grin as she pulled out a forest green peasant top from the pile. The top had long sleeves that were tight to the elbow before flaring out as well as a square neckline; it was cut on an empire line with ties that tied at the back of the top. The top was plain, other than a small amount of lace that edged the neckline, but the fabric was crinkly, which gave it an interesting look. 'How about this with a pair of dark jeans and the new boots?'

Lily looked at the top for a moment before smiling. 'Good choice.'

The girls all showered and dressed for the day before bounding down the stairs into the common room. The Marauders were all there, waiting for the girls, and Sophia greeted Sirius with a hug and a chaste kiss, as had become their routine over the last few weeks.

There were repeated wishes of 'Happy Birthday' from the four boys, which Lily accepted with a smile. The boys gave her a present each, all identically sized boxes, each wrapped in identical paper.

Lily smiled knowingly and took a seat so she could open each of the presents.

'Would I be right in thinking that these were all bought in the same shop?' she asked, a merry glint shinning in her emerald eyes.

The boys nodded and smiled back.

'Hmm, and it doesn't take a genius to work out that you all took the gift wrapping option in store.'

At this, the four boys exchanged sheepish looks, but Lily simply laughed.

'It's alright ... I'm touched you all bought me something.' She gave them a broad smile as she ripped into the first of the boxes.

The girls had informed the Marauders of their plans to buy Lily a charm bracelet, so the boys had each ordered her charms to add to it. Peter had bought a pair of gold dice; Remus had selected one that was the rune for the word 'friend'; Sirius had chosen a gold starfish, and James had picked a silver dove.

Lily thanked each of the boys and allowed them all to attach their charms to her bracelet. Sophia noticed that James continued to hold Lily's wrist once he'd attached the dove ... not to mention the fact that Lily did nothing to pull away from him. It was only when Peter complained about being hungry that James became aware of what he was doing and let go of her, though Sophia could see that he was reluctant to do so. When she looked back to Sirius, Sophia could see he'd noticed the same thing as she had. She quirked an eyebrow up at him, and he gave a small nod, a smirk evident on his face.

The Gryffindors enjoyed a leisurely breakfast together; Lily was beset by owls, each bearing more birthday cards wishing her well; some even carried more birthday presents for her to open. When it came time for them to leave, Sophia noticed James in front of her, clearly looking for Lily. A quick glance behind her and she saw Lily walking behind Melanie and Niahm. She didn't need a second look to know something was troubling her best friend.

'Sirius, I need to speak to Lily,' she whispered as they walked along, hand in hand. Sirius turned his face to see her better, his grey eyes questioning. 'Something's wrong ... I can tell. Could you distract James?' Sirius nodded, and she squeezed his hand before letting go and slipping back beside Lily.

Grasping the redhead's elbow, she steered them both down the corridor into a shadowy alcove. Lily looked startled by Sophia's action and quickly looked up and down the hallway before speaking in a hushed tone.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'What's wrong?' Sophia countered.

Lily stayed silent for a moment, her fingers worrying in front of her. Looking down at her hands, she whispered, 'It's Sev.' Although Sophia couldn't see her face, Sophia could hear the tightness in her voice which told her Lily was very upset indeed.

'What's happened?' Sophia was very careful to keep her tone neutral as she spoke.

Lily took a steadying breath before speaking again. 'Nothing ... that's the thing.'

Sophia's brow knitted in confusion as she tried to work out what Lily meant by her statement. Drawing a blank, she reached out to still Lily's hands, the contact causing Lily to look up at her again. Sophia could see the tears brimming in Lily's eyes; reacting on impulse, she pulled her friend into a tight hug.

'Oh, Lily,' she whispered. 'Please, don't cry.'

Lily's arms wound around Sophia, and she gripped on tight as she continued to breathe erratically, clearly trying to stop the tears from falling.

'Talk to me, Lils.'

Sophia felt Lily shake as she held her. 'I don't know if I can,' she whispered.

'It's me, Lily. You can tell me anything. That's why we will always be friends ... we know too much about each other not to be friends,' Sophia joked, hoping she could cheer Lily up slightly.

'Oh, Soph,' Lily said, a slight chuckle to her voice. Slowly, Lily slackened her grip, and Sophia stepped away, though she still held onto Lily's hands. The two girls looked at each other for a moment, then Lily sighed and spoke once more. 'I'm being stupid,' she stated.

'Why?' Sophia enquired gently.

'I still thought he would send me something.' Lily looked ashamed as she cast her eyes to the floor once more. 'Stupid, right? We've not properly spoken since he tried to apologise for calling me a Mudblood, but I still thought he would send me a lily like he used to every year.' Lily shook her head, taking a deep breath as she did. 'I guess it didn't properly sink in until today that I've lost him – forever.'

Sophia didn't know what she could say to comfort her friend. Lily had been so reluctant to talk about anything relating to Severus that Sophia had never been able to fully establish how Lily felt over the situation. Now, she was realising Lily was still mourning the loss of her friendship. Sophia eyed Lily speculatively.

'Lily,' she said, drawing the redhead's attention back from the floor, 'you and Severus ... you were just friends, right?'

Lily's eyes widened ever so slightly. 'Yes ... of course. Why do you ask?'

Sophia shook her head, 'Nothing; it's nothing.' She smiled warmly to put Lily at ease again, giving both hands a firm squeeze.

Lily nodded, though it was hesitant, like she was trying to reason why Sophia would ask her such a question.

Sophia decided to move the conversation along, determined to help her friend enjoy the rest of her birthday.

'Look, I may not be able to sort this out for you, but I do know where we could find chocolate fudge brownies ... fancy coming to find them with me?' Sophia grinned and was relieved to see Lily quirk a corner of her lips up in reply.

The girls spent the next hour in the kitchen being fussed over by the house-elves who gave them a rather large tray of brownies (they had doubled the size of the platter when they found out it was Lily's birthday). Feeling stuffed and not a little sick, Sophia shrank down the platter so that they could take the leftovers up to the common room for the rest of their friends to share between themselves.

The sixth years spent the rest of the morning and the afternoon celebrating Lily's birthday by playing games of Wizard's Chess, Exploding Snap and by just generally relaxing together, each of them glad to have a legitimate excuse not to work for a day.

The three other girls had helped themselves to two brownies each and the Marauders each fought over the remainder, which resulted in Remus and Sirius getting into a small scuffle over the last brownie.

Sophia had suggested they could split it in half, but apparently it was an all-or-nothing situation. As far as she could see, though, by fighting over it, all they had achieved was mashing half the brownie into the carpet and the other half into their clothes. She was certain that there was a part of the male psyche that she would never understand.

She had kept a close eye on Lily throughout the day after her small emotional outburst in the morning. However, she was pleased to see that Lily appeared to be back to her normal self, and she was even more pleased to see that Lily had accepted a seat next to James and had made no effort to move from that spot since. When it came time to go down to the Great Hall once more for dinner, Lily even went so far as to walk with James, chatting happily and sitting next to him during dinner that night as well.

Once back in the common room, Sophia was surprised to see that Lily wasn't with them. Panicking slightly, she turned to say something to Sirius, but halted when she saw him smirking.

'Just realised she's missing, have you?' he said, speaking quietly so no one else nearby could hear them.

Sophia just looked back at him, waiting for him to continue.

'Notice anyone else missing?'

Sophia quickly glanced around, and then it hit her. She turned back to look at Sirius, wide-eyed.

He nodded, a smirk on his face. 'Yep, James hung back with her as we all walked on. I think he's taken her up to the Astronomy Tower.'

'Oh, my,' Sophia breathed. She began to chuckle and smiled broadly back at Sirius. 'Good luck, James.'

'Indeed,' Sirius replied. 'We await the results with baited breath!'

They did not need to wait long to find out what the result was. It was presented to them when a sobbing Lily came running back into the common room before flying up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. James was hot on her heels, crashing ungracefully through the portrait hole in his desperate attempt to catch up with her.

'Lily! Lily! Please, wait! LILY!'

Sirius and Sophia had leapt up from their seats by the window.

James attempted to run up the stairs as he frantically followed Lily. However, by the time he reached the fifth step, the stairs had turned into a slide under his feet. He fell to the floor forcefully and slid all the way back down to land in a heap in the common room.

Sirius quickly helped James up, then had to forcefully stop him from trying to make another foolish and futile attempt to reach Lily.

'Out of my way!' James shouted, violently trying to shake free of Sirius' hold on him. 'I have to speak to her!'

'James!' Sophia snapped in an effort to get his attention. 'What happened?' She was frantic with worry, but wanted to get the gist of the story from James before she tried to calm Lily down.

James ignored her completely and continued to struggle against Sirius.

'James, mate, listen to Sophia ... tell us what happened!' Sirius' face was slowly turning red from the effort of restraining him.

James gave a couple more jerks, but reason slowly seemed to filter back into his consciousness, and he finally relaxed in Sirius' arms. He glanced to the side and saw everyone in the common had stopped whatever they were doing and was staring at him instead. He swallowed nervously and, for a moment, looked like a rabbit caught in the head lights.

'All right, you lot, get back to whatever it was you were doing ... nothing to see here.' Sirius stared at everyone in the common until they had all, somewhat sheepishly, gone back to their previous occupations. He turned his attention back to James. 'Come over here,' he said quietly, tugging on James' arm and pulling him towards an empty corner of the room.

Sophia noticed Remus, Peter, Niahm, Melanie, and Lucy looking curiously up from the sofas. All of them seemed unsure what to do, so she waved at them to sit down ... reassuring them that she and Sirius could handle things for the moment.

'Okay, what the hell happened?' Sirius asked.

Sophia winced slightly as Sirius' phrasing ... if she had asked she would have been a little bit more tactful about it.

'I don't know,' James replied despondently.

'What do you mean? How can you not know?' Sirius asked in disbelief.

Sophia reached out a hand and laid it on Sirius' arm ... a non-verbal way of trying to get him to calm down.

'I just don't!' James replied harshly, frustration evident in his voice.

'Okay, James. Tell me everything that happened,' Sophia soothed, trying desperately to be the rational person in the discussion despite the fierce feeling of urgency she had in her gut telling her she needed to be with Lily right now.

James huffed. 'We were up in the Astronomy Tower, and we chatted about her birthday. I plucked this feather from the parapet and transfigured it into a flower. I turned round and held it out for her to take as I asked if she would go out with me. She didn't move, didn't even make a sound, and then she just bolted. I ran after her, but she wouldn't come back.' James looked utterly heartbroken and deflated once he had finished.

'What kind of flower did you turn the feather into?' Sophia asked, already dreading what she expected to hear.

'A white lily ... why?'

'Shit!' Sophia exclaimed, her worst fear realised; she ran up the stairs, oblivious to James and Sirius' startled looks or calls.

Sophia ran up the stairs two a time and came hurtling into her dormitory to find Lily sitting on the edge of her bed, tears streaming down her face.

'Oh, Lily,' she cooed softly, seating herself next to Lily, reaching out to wrap her arms around her shoulders. Lily turned and buried her head against Sophia's shoulder; it didn't take long for Sophia to feel the dampness spread through her shirt. 'James told me what happened.'

Sophia held onto Lily as she cried, waiting patiently for Lily to be able to talk again. Slowly, Lily's shaking eased, and she broke the silence, her voice sounding strained.

'I loved him.'

Sophia didn't need clarification that 'he' was Severus. 'I know you did.'

'Along with you, he was my best friend, and I lost him.' Lily gave a deep sniff.

Sophia didn't know what she could say, so she opted to stay silent.

'It's my fault. It's all my fault.' Lily's voice sounded utterly hollow.

'Shh, Lily. It wasn't all your fault. Severus made his own choices. Even if he was angry and upset, it still doesn't excuse what he called you.'

'But I could have listened ... I could have given him a chance when he came to apologise. I didn't ... I told him to go and never come back. And he's held me to my request, Soph. He's never going to come back.' A fresh wave of tears consumed Lily as she finished speaking.

Sophia rubbed Lily's back as she cried anew, whispering nonsensical words as she did in an attempt to calm her friend's nerves. When Lily had regained some control, Sophia spoke.

'What about James?' she whispered, almost afraid to bring it up, but knowing Lily would need to talk about it.

'I ... I can't ... I just ... I need more time.'

Sophia nodded. 'Okay,' she breathed. 'It'll be okay, Lils. I promise.' Privately, Sophia prayed that it really would be okay at some point in the future.

She continued to sit with Lily until her friend had calmed down and fallen asleep, her cheeks still showing the evidence of all her heartbroken tears. Gently, Sophia moved Lily to lie on the bed, bringing a blanket up over her before leaving the room to make her way back down to the common room.

As soon as she entered the common room, James was on his feet and making his way over to her, Sirius close behind him. Knowing they would need some privacy, she walked over to an empty corner of the common room and waited for the two boys.

'How is she?' James demanded, worry clearly showing on his face.

'She's okay ... she's calmed down a lot. She's sleeping at the moment,' Sophia replied softly.

James breathed a sigh of relief, but then turned his attention back to Sophia. 'What happened?'

Her heart went out to James ... he had no idea what had caused Lily's catastrophic reaction. She couldn't tell him the whole truth ... most importantly, it would be a betrayal of trust between herself and Lily, but she also knew James' feelings about Severus Snape, and there was no way she was going to admit this to him and risk being in the firing line. No, if anything ever happened between Lily and James, then they could have that discussion privately or not at all.

'James,' Sophia began sadly, 'I can't tell you the full story.' He took a breath, as if to protest, but she stilled him immediately. 'No, James, this is not for me to discuss. Lily's reasons for her reaction are her own, and therefore she should decide whether or not to tell you. I'll warn you, though, that I wouldn't expect for her to explain this to you. I'd also advice that you don't badger her to find out. She's upset and hurting, and if you try to push her, you will destroy the tentative friendship you have built up this year.'

James looked not only puzzled but also hurt ... yet, Sophia knew it was better to prepare him.

'However, I did ask about you.'

At this, James' face changed to one of cautious hope, and Sophia smiled softly at him.

'She didn't rule out anything flat out, but she's feeling confused at the moment and she just needs time. Be patient with her, James,' Sophia implored.

James nodded slowly in understanding. Sophia knew he was still crushed by what had happened, but she was secretly impressed by the mature way he was handling what she was telling him. He turned his brown eyes back up to her, giving her a deeply sincere look.

'Just tell her ... tell her, whatever I did, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt her, and if she will let me, I want to make it up to her,' he said softly.

Sophia nodded. 'I will, James.'

With that, James left Sirius and Sophia and returned to the rest of the group by the fire.

'Is she really okay?' Sirius asked as he gripped Sophia's waist on either side, pulling her a step closer to him.

'Yeah, she is.'

'You're not even going to tell me what happened, are you?' Sirius stated more than asked.

Sophia shook her head sadly. 'No, I'm sorry, but I can't. Lily trusts me to keep her secrets, I can't betray her. You would do the same for any of the Marauders, I'm sure.'

Sirius sighed resignedly. 'You're right. Besides, if I knew, I would want to tell James, and he wouldn't leave me alone until I told him, so it's probably for the best.' He paused and kissed her chastely on the lips. 'Are you okay, though?'

'I am; I have you.' She smiled warmly at him before he wrapped her in a warm hug and then led her back to join the group of friends by the fire.