Chapter 8: Repercussions and Realisations

Disclaimer: Once again, it's not mine.

Author's Notes: DracoGurlFurever has, once more, passed her critical eye over this and weeded out my grammatical errors, so I owe her a huge thank you. Thank you also to you, the reader, for sticking with me and this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 8: Repercussions and Realisations

Sirius sat staring at the fire that licked against the last remaining pieces of wood as he tried to sort through the events of the evening. He shifted his gaze to Sophia, who was now asleep, lying with her head in his lap; his arm was draped round her waist as she clung onto his hand.

He had feared she would be plagued by nightmares and had spent at least half an hour staring at her, watching for any sign that she was in distress while mentally kicking himself for not asking for a Calming Draught potion when he had been in McGonagall's office.

However, she had been asleep for a while now and looked peaceful in her slumber, so his careful watch had relaxed slightly. One of her dark brown curls had fallen across the front of her face, and Sirius gently reached out to move it, noticing how soft it felt between his fingers. He stared at her features and listened to her steady breathing for another few minutes, still looking for any sign of distress.

As he watched her, his mind drifted to the image of her face when he had stumbled across her earlier in the evening. He would never forget that face – it was so far removed from the happy and bright face that he had become accustomed to seeing. He felt his stomach twist as he remembered the fear that had replaced the twinkle in her eyes – how they had been wide, like startled prey. He remembered how her pale skin had been ashen and clammy, how she had collapsed to the floor, looking like a ragdoll, when Rosier had finally left – and then, of course, how she had cried while he had held her.

He tried to push the torturous images from his mind, exhaling loudly and letting his head roll back against the sofa. He closed his eyes as other thoughts and images started filtering through his consciousness, jumping erratically from one to the next.

Through the evening, his emotions had ranged from intense anger and revulsion towards Rosier, fear about what would have happened to Sophia if he hadn't been there to stop it, and feelings of inadequacy when he had tried to comfort her ... but the most overwhelming of all had been his intense desire to protect and care for her.

He'd been astounded by her bravery as she'd relived every moment in McGonagall's office. It had obviously been a huge emotional strain on her, but, somehow, she had found the strength to get from the beginning to the end. As he'd listened to her describe Rosier's actions, Sirius had felt his blood begin to boil once again. Knowing that that ... bastard had said those things to her, that he had touched her, made him want to storm into the Slytherin common room and blast Rosier to oblivion.

His dark train of thought was broken when he felt Sophia move. He quickly looked down and saw that her breathing had quickened and her brow had furrowed. He anxiously observed her for a few moments until she returned to a calm state and her face became smooth again.

Sirius let his head fall back against the sofa one more time, only then realising that his own pulse had quickened at her stirring. He dwelt on this unusual turn of circumstances in an effort to understand what had just happened to him. Since his discussion with Remus about dating Sophia, he had done his best to push those ideas out of his head. However, in his own thoughts, he had to admit that he hadn't been entirely successful.

He had been fascinated by her eyes; he'd often wondered how they could seem so familiar to him even though he could never place where he had seen them before. He knew the answer to that riddle now, although he also knew that he would never have made the connection between the young, beautiful girl who was currently asleep on his lap and the old Headmaster. He had to admit that she'd done a good job of keeping that a secret.

Besides, it wasn't just her eyes that had kept his mind occupied on many occasions – there were many parts of her anatomy that were highly appealing to him, and Remus definitely would have caused him bodily harm for those thoughts. It wasn't just her physical appearance that attracted him, however. He'd come to realise how thoughtful and kind she was while also being charming and witty. She would say something highly intelligent one minute and then ask the silliest questions the next. He found that the time he spent alone with her passed swiftly, and there was a part of him that was always sad when it came to an end. He was even doing better in Charms now than he had done in his O.W.L.s, and he was sure she was a major part of it.

Sometimes, when he was trying to get to sleep, he would think of something she had done that day that had made him laugh. Usually, it was something inconsequential such as her getting her words the wrong way round or the way she laughed at a story of his. He'd noticed that she had several different types of laughs; he loved each one, but his favourite was her deep belly laugh – which often caused a snort as well – when she found something really funny. Whenever she did snort, it would always send her into more fits of giggles through embarrassment, and her cheeks would go very red.

He smiled to himself as he remembered the last time he'd seen her laugh like that; it had been that very afternoon when he had been larking around during their shared free period. He'd been messing around levitating his quill. Sophia had warned him not to play with it, but he'd ignored her, joking that she was boring. She'd shrugged, but continued to watch him as he sent the quill into a spin. It was as the quill was spinning that the jet of ink had spurted out and splattered all over his face. As he'd sat there, stunned for a moment, Sophia had erupted into a long and deep bout of laughter. However, this memory was crushed as he wondered when he would next see that laugh again – he was sure it wouldn't be for quite a while.

The more he thought about her, he came to a startling realisation – he was well and truly taken with her.

'Moony is going to kill me,' he moaned to himself.

How could he not have realised this earlier? Even just a day would have been something! Now what would he do? He was totally stuck. There was no way he could tell her how he felt after the events of tonight. There would be no way that she would be in a position to accept the advances of anyone until she had put this whole mess behind her; Merlin only knew how long that would take.

After quickly assessing his situation, he decided he would just have to be there for her if she needed him – whether that meant he had to be a shoulder to cry on or someone she could vent her fury at or someone who simply did his best to cheer her up.

Then, perhaps, when she had put this horrific experience behind her, he might be able to discuss the feelings he had for her. What he was feeling now was different from how he had felt about her a month ago – this was far more powerful, like nothing he'd ever felt for a girl before – but he still wasn't sure that Remus would approve, especially given the circumstances.

Sirius was pulled out of his deliberations by the sudden arrival of a house-elf. The creature looked around the common room before spotting Sirius and Sophia on the sofa together. Sirius smiled at the small female figure, working hard not to laugh at the look of disapproval that she gave him. Sirius held a finger up to his lips to signal the house-elf to remain quiet; he didn't want Sophia to be disturbed.

Reluctantly, the house-elf turned around and started silently (and at a remarkable speed) tidying up the common room. Within a few minutes, the room was completely tidy, and the house-elf disappeared again after giving Sirius another dirty look.

Soon after the house-elf's departure, Sophia began to move again. Sirius watched helplessly as her face became twisted and her breathing became more ragged. He didn't know whether or not it would be a good idea to wake her – on the one hand, it would end her obvious nightmare; on the other hand, if the nightmare was indeed about what he guessed, then waking her up and startling her further was surely no better.

His decision was made when a deep, pained moan came from her lips. He couldn't bear to see her go through the obvious agony that the nightmare was causing. Cautiously, very gently, he stroked her hair and spoke to her.

'Sophia, it's okay, you're safe. It's time to wake up now.'

~~~~~

Sophia woke with a start from her dream – her heart was racing, and her palms felt slightly clammy. Then, she realised that her hand was around something ... Where was she? Why wasn't she in her own bed? Her mind wouldn't work fast enough to give her the answers that she needed, and she felt her chest begin to tighten in panic. Just then, she heard a soft voice from above her, causing her to spin her head up to find the source.

'Hey, you okay?' It was Sirius; in the dim light from the dying fire, she could see that his face was filled with concern. It was then that everything fitted back into place in her memory. She was in the common room; she was safe, safe with Sirius. Her heart rate was returning to normal, and she took a deep breath as she rubbed her forehead. Sirius gently stroked her hair as he spoke again. 'Bad dream?'

'Yeah. What time is it?' she asked, not wanting to talk about the dream which had plagued her, partly because she didn't want to dwell on the images of Rosier that the nightmare had created and partly because she felt embarrassed at Sirius' having witnessed her having a nightmare in the first place.

'I think it's about half past three. A house-elf came in about half an hour ago and gave us both such a look of disgust ... It was something that I've never seen from a house-elf, or, at least, wouldn't have seen from a house-elf if I hadn't lived with Kreacher for sixteen years,' he said with a smile.

'Do you mean you've been awake this whole time?' she asked.

'Couldn't sleep even if I wanted to,' he replied, looking away from her. She suddenly became aware of how she was lying almost on his lap, and she sat up quickly.

'Sorry,' she said, covering her body defensively with one arm and rubbing the top of her other arm while looking down at the rug by the fire. Guilt flared up inside her for being even more of a burden on Sirius. He'd done so much for her already – not only finding and rescuing her, but giving her the strength to talk to McGonagall and then getting rid of everyone so that she could rest, and now she'd fallen asleep on him and kept him awake all night; she should have gone to bed when she felt tired and ignored her desire to stay with him, where she felt safe.

'Oh, no, Soph, I didn't mean it like that. Really, I didn't,' he said quickly, peeling her hand away from her arm and drawing her attention back to him. 'My mind is just in overdrive and I can't switch off – that's all I meant.' She looked into his eyes; seeing the sincerity there, she felt her feelings of guilt ease a bit. 'Besides, you looked so peaceful; I didn't want to disturb you.'

'Well, maybe I should go up to bed now, anyway – at least that'll give you a chance to get some sleep, or else you won't make it through all your classes,' she said, though it was the last thing that she wanted to do.

'Well, let's just think about this logically for a moment, shall we?' Sirius stated seriously. 'I have Charms with you, so I can borrow your notes for that; everyone does Potions, so I don't really need to pay attention in that either; and then I have a free double period before Arithmancy, so I can sleep then. Really, I don't need to sleep now at all, if you want to stay here,' he concluded, a grin playing across his face.

Sophia let out a small chuckle, 'Do you ever pay attention in Charms anyway?'

'Well, now that you mention it – no, not really, so tomorrow won't be any different from normal. I don't tend to pay attention in Potions either, now that I come to think of it,' he said, smiling back at her mischievously.

'I know – the four of you are always larking about, and Lily complains to me about all of you for the whole lesson,' she said, trying to put on a stern face; she failed to keep it up for more than a few seconds before she started to chuckle again. She was amazed at how he could do this to her – she had gone from feeling her absolute worst to laughing within a matter of a few minutes. Not that she was complaining – far from it. She was happy to have her mind taken off the events of the evening, if only for a little while – she just wished she understood how he did it.

'Does she? I had no idea,' he replied, trying to look innocent and surprised.

'Oh, yeah, like you didn't know that already,' she said as her giggles died away. Sirius's expression changed, and he became serious once again as he spoke.

'So, do you want to stay down here or would you prefer to go up to bed – and be honest,' he said, giving her a stern look.

'Truthfully – I would like to stay here,' she replied softly, giving him a small smile.

'Thought as much – come here, then.' He opened up his arms to give her a hug. She moved closer to him and let him wrap his arms around her. She felt the warmth from his body and the strength of his arms – it made all her bad feelings melt away. She felt safe once more. After a little while, she spoke.

'Sirius?'

'Mmm?'

'Thank you.'