Epilogue

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to JKR. Only the plot shenanigans and the kids with the funny names are mine.

Epilogue

Hermione watched the first years file into the Great Hall. Most of them displayed appropriate awe and nervousness at their first sight of the enchanted ceiling and all the older students and staff. All except two slightly scruffy, dark-haired boys wandering in a moment or two behind the other children. After all, Seth and Geneon had grown up at Hogwarts. They had treated the Great Hall as their personal playground and all the students as friends. The teachers were their honorary aunts and uncles, and the most feared of all, the Potions professor, was simply 'Dad'.

Grinning up at their anxious parents, the two boys shuffled their feet as they watched yet another Sorting. They had giggled through Habbutt's three years earlier and teased him endlessly about being a Hufflepuff, although no-one had been the least bit surprised. Likewise, Piers' Sorting into Slytherin had been a foregone conclusion, much to his father's delight.

"Merlin, I hope they behave," muttered Hermione.

"Those two. Not bloody likely. I just hope they aren't sorted into Slytherin. Let someone else deal with their hijinks for once!" grumbled their beleaguered father.

His wife snorted. "Coward!"

"Can you imagine the trouble they would get into if they had Slytherins as housemates? They're bad enough as it is; they don't need any encouragement to be devious as well. Piers alone is bad enough."

Hermione sighed. "You're right, of course. What is it with twins? The Weasleys when I was at school, then the Barnaby twins – I was pleased when they left last year. It's just as well twins aren't a common occurrence in wizarding families!"

"We still have George Weasley's pair to look forward to in two years. Oh, gods, what are they doing?" Severus glared at his youngest sons as they innocently slid their wands into their pockets.

"I have no idea. And I don't think I want to know. Listen, they must be up next."

"Geneon Snape," called Filius Fitwick, Deputy Headmaster.

Geneon sauntered up to the Sorting stool, hands in pockets, as if he had all the time in the world. The Sorting Hat was barely on his head ten seconds before a decision was made.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Geneon high-fived the air in his twin's direction and skipped over to the Gryffindor table, his grin of delight flashing perfect, white teeth.

Five minutes later, Seth joined him and waved gaily up to their parents at the staff table.

"Oh, bloody hell," Severus groaned. "Just what I need, two more Gryffindors in the family." He barely flinched as the expected whack on the arm was delivered.

"Never mind, dear. They'll be Neville's responsibility now," Hermione crooned.

An evil smile crossed the Potion master's face, visions of the rubies in the Gryffindor hourglass dropping regularly to the bottom as his sons contributed in their own inimitable way to Slytherin's House Cup victory at the end of the year. "So they will. Poetic justice, I believe." On that happy thought, he reached for the meat platter and offered it to his wife.

"So, Severus, where did you come up with those boys' names?" Minerva asked once dinner was under way. "They are quite unusual, and you've never explained why you chose them."

Severus and Hermione shared a conspiratorial glance. "Shall we tell her, dear?"

"Why not?" Hermione replied. "She can't dock points off our houses now, can she?"

Minerva frowned and wondered whether another helping of roast beef might have been a better option. "Well?"

"Think about where we were nine months before the twins' birth," Severus suggested with a smirk.

"How should I know?" Minerva began, then the rogue Bludger of the truth hit her. "You were supervising that seventh-year trip to Stonehenge. S.T.O.N.E.H.E.N.G.E. SETH and GENEON. You conceived them there! You two miscreants were supposed to be supervising the students, not canoodling!" she scolded.

The guilty pair grinned, looking uncannily similar to the two boys entertaining the Gryffindor table with embarrassing tales about their parents.

Minerva continued her calculations. "Using that logic, Piers was obviously conceived on your holiday in Brighton. I don't know why I've never worked that out." Suddenly, she blushed. "Piers? Severus, you didn't!"

Severus waved away all responsibility. "It was my young wife. I warned her the beach was all rocky, but she had to try it anyway."

"But I still don't understand Habbutt. You didn't leave the castle between your wedding and his conception." The older witch frowned as she tried to make the connection.

It was Hermione's turn to smirk. "You know, love, I think we should leave that one for Minerva to work out for herself."

"Certainly, my dear. Shall we go and congratulate Professor Longbottom on the latest additions to his house?"

"Just don't be too smug, dear. We still have to live in the same castle as the Daring Duo."

"Is that what they call themselves now? I suppose they would never have been anything but Gryffindor. Please tell me there wasn't a bossy know-it-all little girl Sorted into Gryffindor with them. I swear by Merlin's balls, I'll retire right here and now if there was!"

Hermione laughed. "I'd be more worried if they found out their Uncle Harry has an Invisibility Cloak." She caught his arm and dragged him over to the Gryffindor table, where Seth and Geneon were hugging Uncle Nev, who didn't look the least perturbed at having them in his house.

"Thank the gods that's over," sighed Severus as his boots joined his robes on the floor and he sank into the couch. The traditional Slytherin Sorting party had dragged on far longer than usual, no thanks to Piers' little trick with the clocks.

Hermione shook her head, picking up his discarded belongings and taking them to the bedroom. "You're becoming as bad as the boys, Severus. You used to be the neat member of this family," she chided with a fond smile.

"Perhaps they've rubbed off," he replied, reaching for her hand. "Now, come here, witch. I want to celebrate child-free quarters."

"Er... yes. About that. There's something I need to tell you, love." She bit her lip as she sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Severus frowned and lifted her chin to meet her eyes. "What is it?"

"Well..."

"Well?"

"You know that night we celebrated the completion of my Potions mastery?"

"Oh, yes, I remember it well." His body heated with the memory of exactly how they had celebrated.

"We didn't use the Charm. I'm pregnant again."

"Oh, fuck. Again? What are we, competing with the Weasleys?" Still, he grinned like an eleven-year-old with his first wand.

"You pillock! You love the world knowing you're so bloody virile. You don't have to have your stomach all stretched out of shape and covered in stretch marks and your nipples chewed on for months," she grumbled half-heartedly.

"And you know I happen to adore every one of your stretch marks. And your nipples. Speaking of nipples..." He reached under her blouse to fondle the area under discussion. "Mmm. Yes, I believe they might be larger. I propose a more thorough investigation."

"Severus!" She slapped his hand away, but spoiled it with a giggle at his pout. "You do realise now you're the grand old age of fifty-four, this one is likely to be girl?"

"Hermione, my love, if this one is another boy, he can go straight back where he came from, anatomical impossibilities be damned."

His wife chuckled and kissed his cheek. "You're all bluster, Severus Snape. No matter what sex this baby is, you'll love it and spoil it just like you did the other four. It would be nice to have a girl though. What do you think we would name her? It doesn't seem quite right to use our usual method for a girl."

"I know exactly what name to use," Severus declared. "But I'm not telling you for at least half an hour."

"Half an hour?" Hermione stood, slowly unbuttoning her blouse as she wriggled out of her skirt. "I'm sure you can do better than half an hour, Professor Snape. After all, there are no children to interrupt tonight."

His appreciation rising, Severus watched his wife undress. Despite three pregnancies and the beginning of a fourth, she still looked as youthful to him as she had on their wedding night. Skin supple and satiny, breasts full yet still firm, and curves that made his body ache with desire. He could definitely do better than half an hour.

Much later, Severus whispered a name into Hermione's ear. Her snort of appreciation was taken as agreement.

"Oh, I wish they would hurry up. I know she's been delivered already. Whatever can be keeping them?" Ginny Potter paced outside the delivery room at St Mungo's, impatient to meet her new goddaughter.

"Hush, love. I'm sure they're just enjoying a few quiet moments together," Harry soothed. "Severus'll be out in a moment or two, showing off his latest achievement."

Ginny chuckled. "That man sure is proud of himself when his wife gives birth. You'd think he did all the work!"

"Hey. We men do contribute, you know."

"Yes, dear. A few minutes huffing and puffing at conception. Big effort." Ginny grinned as the door opened and a tired Severus joined them, bearing a bundle of pink blankets like a pro.

"Let's see her then, Sev," the redhead ordered, reaching for the newest Snape progeny. "Oh, look, Harry. She's just like her brothers. I told you Sev's genes would win through. She's got your nose too, you old bat! Poor kid."

At that moment, the baby woke and stared at the woman holding her with large, dark eyes. Then she screwed up her face and howled.

"That'll teach you to insult her nose," Harry teased as he took the irate baby and expertly rocked her back to silence.

"She's got her father's temperament too," Ginny added as she wrapped her arms around Severus and hugged her congratulations. "You did great, Sev. Now, what have you named her?"

Severus smirked and with a bow, gestured towards his daughter. "Mr and Mrs Harry Potter, please meet Dolores Ginevra Snape."

"Dolores!" shrieked Ginny. "You can't pair my name with Umbridge's!" She narrowed her eyes. "Why did you pair my name with Dolores? Not that I'm unhappy you used my name."

"It's obvious, isn't it? If it wasn't for Dolores Umbridge and her machinations, Hermione would never have married me. For that, I owe her my most heartfelt thanks. And as for pairing her name with yours, just consider that payback for Albus Severus, young lady!"

"Oh, Sev! You idiot!"

The idiot ignored her. He had a tired wife and grumpy daughter to appease.

The End

A/N: Written for the Variety Challenge. It's taken a year, but we got there in the end. Many thanks to karelia for all her beta work. She's amazing!

House points to anyone who works out the origin of Habbutt's name.

Thank you to all the readers who have stopped by and left reviews. Love you all! xx