Chapter Two: A Nudge in the Right Direction

Chapter Two: A Nudge in the Right Direction

Hermione spent the next week avoiding the glares of her fellow students. Even Ron and Neville had been aloof. Ginny and Harry alone offered support, their unique position allowing them to understand the disaster which would have unfolded had she not acted upon her suspicions at the beginning of the school year. She kept her head down in class and only answered questions when she was called upon for fear of drawing her classmates' attention. The Potions master had been particularly vitriolic, and for once no-one bristled with indignation as she was berated time after time.

"Miss Granger, with your supposed brilliance with numbers, I would have thought you could measure those black beetle eyes more accurately. The instructions call for eight and a half eyes, not nine. Nine points from Gryffindor for carelessness," he snarled as he Vanished her potion, recording a fail once again for the class.

She knew the instructions had read eight and a half to nine eyes, but conveniently the latter part had disappeared from the blackboard. Sighing, she packed up her Potions kit and sat quietly awaiting the end of the class. Snape had returned to his desk and started marking the essays they had turned in earlier. Looking up, he met her eyes and scowled as he scrawled an obvious D on some poor student's essay. Probably mine, she thought. She studied his face once he returned his attention to the parchment on his desk. He looks more drawn than usual – tired and stressed. Not that he ever looks relaxed.

Her mind turned to more pleasant thoughts. One thing she hadn't mentioned to her friends about her summer in Australia was a heated, month-long fling with a sun-kissed Muggle surfer, which had given her some much-needed stress relief and finally delivered her of her burdensome virginity, one of the items on her list. The things she had learned under his skilled hands...

"Miss Granger, unless you wish to stay here for a detention I suggest you wipe that ridiculous expression off your face and leave this classroom." Her reverie was interrupted by Snape, jolting her back into her unwelcome present.

In the absence of friendly conversation directed her way, Hermione spent her time during dinner thinking about her Potions master's behaviour. She had not spent years fighting Death Eaters, hunting Horcruxes, and finally helping defeat an evil megalomaniac, to let one sour ex-spy get to her. It was time to face the serpent in his nest. Resolutely, she strode down to the dungeons half an hour after dinner and knocked on Severus Snape's office door.

"Enter!" His brusque command was accompanied by the door opening. The dark wizard looked up with his trademark sneer. "Miss Granger. Just what I needed. What have you brought to plague me with this time? An inquisition into my wardrobe?"

The days of scathing comments from the man in front of her and pointed remarks from her peers finally coalesced with this jibe into a rarely displayed red-hot temper. Throwing caution to the winds, she looked him in the eye and replied, "Just what is your problem, Professor? Is it the fact that I dared to question the declining number of wizards arriving at Hogwarts, or that you personally are expected to assist in saving the Wizarding world from extinction? Would you prefer I had ignored the statistics and went on my way, naively hoping something miraculous would occur, rather than disturb your self-imposed, miserable existence? I don't understand why you are so irritated by this. Presumably you would have met someone sooner or later. This just gives you a nudge in the right direction."

"A nudge?" His expression was dire. "You call these, a nudge?" Throwing down a handful of parchments, he slumped into his chair and gazed broodingly at the fire as she opened them.

"Sybill Trelawney, Dolores Umbridge... Millicent Bulstrode? Surely you have received some more suitable offers?" she gasped.

"From whom? It may have escaped your notice, but most of the witches in this country under the age of thirty-five have been my students. Who would desire marriage with me after having been in my classes? And to top that, my Death Eater past is not exactly enticing." He sighed, body sagging in resignation. "Miss Granger, just for once, could you not have shared your knowledge with all and sundry? I was quite content leading a solitary life."

"Merlin knows I am sorry you have been put in this situation, Professor. But I stand by my findings. Something does need to be done. As usual, the Ministry of Magic has taken a mere suggestion and turned it into a senseless, draconian law, and I realise now that was to be expected. Idiots, all of them! However, it does not change the fact that the law now exists, and you need to find a wife."

"What? Volunteering, are you?" he asked sardonically.

Hermione stared at him as his words sunk in. Of course. Not only had she been directly responsible for his invidious position, but she genuinely believed that she, of all people, should take her part in averting the crisis. She had always wanted a career, but she could see now with the extended life span of witches and wizards, childrearing could come first, leaving plenty of time to pursue a career after, if not during, the process.

"You are brilliant!" she exclaimed as she grabbed a piece of parchment and began scribbling. Handing it over to the astonished wizard, she grinned.

"Don't mock me, Miss Granger," Snape growled dangerously as he read her petition for his hand in marriage.

"No. I am serious. Why not? I have no other interests, and, quite frankly, the boys my age are so immature. Besides, if it doesn't work out we can quietly divorce and get on with lives once the law is repealed, as it is sure to be."

Snape stood suddenly and stalked over, backing her into the wall. "Be careful what you wish for, Miss Granger. Have you forgotten the intent of the law? Procreation. Sexual congress. I have no desire to take the innocence of anyone, least of all one of my students," he spat.

"That is all very noble, Professor, but have you forgotten the alternatives? Besides, I am no innocent, so you needn't be concerned about that."

"You wish to be touched intimately by one of your professors?"

"I wish you would stop worrying about that side of things. It's only sex. It is 1999, not 1899, for goodness sake. Anyone would think YOU were the virgin..." Hermione stopped prodding his chest as she realised his cheeks were a little flushed. Incredulously, she murmured, "You are, aren't you? And you are bloody terrified. Oh, Professor, it is nothing to be ashamed of and certainly nothing to fear." She stared after him sadly as he turned on his heel without a word and escaped through the door to his quarters. No wonder you expect no-one decent will offer for you. No-one ever has.

Upon arriving back at her room, Hermione threw her robes onto the bed and sighed. She had really created a mess. What on earth had possessed her to petition for her professor's hand? What would she do if he accepted?

"So. Just what did you say to him?"

Hermione jumped. Turning, she found Ginny Weasley sitting on the chair behind the door.

"What are you doing in here, Gin?" she asked.

"Waiting for you. I saw you take off after dinner towards the dungeons, and Harry told me how badly Snape has been treating you since last week. Now, spill. What happened?" The redhead was just as formidable as her mother when it came to getting answers, and she was not about to leave without them.

The older girl crumpled. Sitting on the bed, she lowered her head to her hands and wailed. "Oh, Ginny, you don't know what I've just done!"

"What? What did you do? Call him out for harassing you?"

"Worse." She swallowed. It would come out soon, anyway. "I... I... petitioned for him."

"You did WHAT? Why?" Ginny narrowed her eyes. "You haven't been harbouring a crush on him?"

"No. Nothing like that. I knew he was furious about the new Marriage Law and blamed me, so I went there to try and explain. But then he showed me..." She shook her head as she tried to find the words.

"What? What did he show you?"

"His petitions. From Trelawney, Umbridge, and Millicent Bulstrode."

Ginny gasped. "Oh, Merlin, the poor man. Even I wouldn't like to see him stuck with any of those three."

"I know. Let's face it, who else is going to petition for him? He's not exactly popular, despite being proven to be on the side of the light during the war. I couldn't see any other solution. It's my fault he's in this situation, after all."

"But, Hermione. Marrying him? Children... that would mean... ewww!" Ginny paled.

"That was his objection. He was horrified at the thought of being forced to have sex with a student. I told him it was no big deal nowadays, but he..."

"Hermione! Think about it. The man is a probably a bloody virgin. Of course he would be horrified," Ginny chided.

"But... How do you know that?"

"Like I said, think about it. He was the unpopular, greasy kid at school, and early on he fixated on Harry's mum. Remember the memories he gave Harry. He was in love with Lily for twenty years. He didn't have any other relationships. And as a spy, do you really think he would frequent those places in Knockturn Alley and risk blowing his cover?" Ginny explained matter-of-factly.

"He still could have had someone at school before he became obsessed with Lily."

"No. I overheard Hestia Jones talking to Bill about it at home once a few years ago. They were speculating about his experience – don't ask me why – and she said she was at school with him. It was well known he was the only seventh-year who 'didn't get laid' before he left. Bill started Hogwarts the year Snape started teaching, and he didn't remember any women ever being seen with him."

"That doesn't mean anything. He could have slipped out to see someone, or over the summer..." Hermione persisted, but deep down she knew Ginny was correct. The look on Snape's face earlier had confirmed it.

"Either way, he is certainly not very experienced. Imagine how he feels, knowing he will have to perform for some witch whether he likes it or not within a few weeks?" Ginny giggled. "Do you think he even knows what to do?"

"Don't be daft. He's a male." Hermione gave in and imagined Professor Severus Snape faced with something he did not know. "If all else fails, he could read a book." Her face dropped. "Oh gods, Gin. What have I done?"

Her friend threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "He may not accept your petition. You may be a little too scary!"

"Compared with the other options, I suspect I may be the least scary. Ginny, what shall I do?"

"Buy a damned good sex book?"

Hermione couldn't help it. She succumbed to fits of laughter. It was either laugh or cry.

"Do you think he would be good, once he figured out the basics?" Ginny asked later as they shared some ice cream smuggled in from the kitchens.

"Hmm. Well, he has those long, skilled fingers," Hermione mused.

"And that silky voice," Ginny added

"Mmm. That could be a definite asset used on something other than deducting house points."

"Madam Snape. Ten points off Gryffindor for improper use of my wand."

"Ginny! That's... that's..." Hermione spluttered.

"Ahhh! Mmmm! Yesss! Two hundred points to Gryffindor!" Ginny continued.

"Oh my god! Stop it! You're killing me!" Hermione collapsed onto the bed incapable of any further coherent conversation.

After a few minutes, the two turned to each other. "You know what they say about..." Ginny started.

"... noses," Hermione completed.

"Oh yes!" they said together.

"Hey, that's my potential fiancé's bits you are imagining. Cut it out!" Hermione scolded.

"He's no-one's fiancé yet," Ginny retorted. "Perhaps I should...?"

"Sure. Give Harry another reason to hate him. He's only just getting over the fact that Snape loved his mother."

"No. You are right. I shouldn't even joke about it," Ginny sobered. "You are OK, aren't you, Hermione? It is Snape, after all. Marriage is a big step."

"I know. Crazy though it seems, I'm not too worried. He may be a surly, sarcastic bastard, but he has had good reason to be since we have known him. He is intelligent, powerful, and actually quite witty sometimes. I just need to find a way to direct that sarcasm elsewhere. He has shown himself to be loyal, brave, and capable of great love. I know, I know." She waved Ginny's warnings aside. "I don't expect it would be a marriage of love, but many marriages of convenience work in their own peculiar way. I'm just saying it may not be as awful as it sounds, once we get past the initial... twenty years or so."

"That's providing you don't hex each other first." Ginny smiled. "I still think you are being terribly brave, offering to rescue him from those awful witches."

"It's no more than he has done for us over the last few years," Hermione replied thoughtfully.

"True."

"Just don't tell the boys yet. Let's wait until he decides one way or the other."

"Er. I'm not telling them anything. That's your job! Imagine what they will say when they find out you will be having sex with Professor Snape."

"I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about sex, anyway. It is fun and feels good. You all have fun and feel good when you play Quidditch, don't you?"

"Yes. But, Hermione, sex is so... intimate. You have to get naked and touch each other and stuff. You would have to do that with Snape," Ginny reminded her, screwing up her face.

"True. I didn't have any trouble doing it with Jason, though, and he was almost a complete stranger. Merlin, that sounds so slutty. I was just ready, I suppose. I think if you are in the mood, and you are physically attracted, it doesn't matter if it's not some grand romantic gesture. You know I'm no romantic, anyway, Gin."

"But wouldn't it be so much better if it was with the man you loved." Ginny closed her eyes and smiled dreamily.

"Don't be such a sap, Ginny," Hermione teased, then said seriously, "Of course, it would be better with all that deeper feeling involved. I'm just saying it is not essential to be in love to enjoy sex."

"But Snape isn't all that attractive, despite the hands and the voice, and not exactly a pleasant personality. How will you get past that and enjoy yourself? You know, the teeth, the hair, the snark..." Ginny shuddered.

"I agree that superficially he is no pin-up boy. The hair... well, if I complained about that it would be case of the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't it, with this bush on my head? He can't help oily hair any more than I can help dry, frizzy hair. Mind you, he is a Potions master, maybe with a little encouragement... And his teeth look awful, but as far as I can tell his breath is not offensive, and he has been looming over me often enough lately to tell. Once again, my teeth weren't much better when I was younger; they only improved because I cheated when Madam Pomfrey fixed them after that hex from Malfoy. As far as his body goes, it doesn't look too bad, what little I have glimpsed under his robes."

"So, it's just his obnoxious personality you have to deal with. Good luck with that!" Ginny giggled.

"Perhaps I should just use a Silencing charm in bed. That'll fix him," Hermione countered. "I'm more concerned about actually having to live with him. If he is as surly and difficult in private as he is in class, I think I would be spending most of my time back here. Which is all very well until the end of the year, but then what?"

"By then, you will have tamed him, I'm sure. Just keep him happy in bed and throw him a book or two – you'll be fine," Ginny teased. "But, Hermione, what happens if you meet someone else later and fall desperately in love? What happens if he meets someone else?"

"I know divorce is frowned upon, but it is not impossible. And by then, hopefully the Ministry will have revised the law. I see this as a marriage of convenience, but if it works out, so much the better. If it doesn't, well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it," Hermione replied.

"And if you have children by then?"

Hermione's face fell. "I know. I'm hoping we can avoid that until we have decided whether we can make a marriage work. We are supposed to start trying immediately, and they will monitor whether we are using any Potions or Charms, but I have these." She took out a packet of Muggle contraceptive pills from her drawer. "I doubt they can track them, as they are totally non-magical."

Ginny smirked. "You really should have been in Slytherin, Hermione. That's just devious!"

Hermione grinned. "But what Slytherin would resort to Muggle medicine?"

"I still think you must have been a little crazy to even offer like that," Ginny remarked.

"You think... I know! It just sort of happened before I even thought about it. That man just drives me to distraction sometimes."

The younger witch studied her friend thoughtfully. "You know, this may just work out."

Prompt: 1. Something Old. The Marriage Law Challenge. Many thanks to karelia for the beta.