Chapter Ten: The Toad Returns

Chapter Ten: The Toad Returns

Hermione twirled before the mirror in her room. Her delight at the image before her overcame her earlier protests when Ginny's short walk had led into Hogsmeade, where a visit to Gladrags had provided a more suitable dress than 'that old, red thing.' The light reading had consisted of witches' magazines from which a suitable hairstyle had been sought. Ginny had once again set her inner Molly free, and in the process Hermione's initial reluctance had vanished along with her anxiety.

The dress they had chosen was a construction of pure magic. The fabric was impossibly sheer, yet the surface iridescence maintained Hermione's modesty with a constantly moving shimmer of mother-of-pearl. Shoestring straps held up the closely fitted bodice, which was cut low enough to reveal only the first swell of her breasts, and then the dress nipped in at her waist to hug her curves before flaring decadently to knee length.

"I feel as if I am nearly naked." Hermione giggled as she spun around yet again, admiring the effect of the moving fabric. "And those flimsy scraps you call underwear don't help!"

"I know. It's amazing what they can do with a little magic and imagination. You look perfectly decent, but feel as if you are wearing nothing but a breath of air. It's supposed to do wonders for the libido, not that yours needs any encouragement!" Ginny laughed as Hermione flushed. "Come on, sit down and let me finish your hair."

Ginny swept the top of the bride's hair up into a soft knot studded with pearl hairpins and left the rest to hang in soft ringlets down her back.

"That's amazing, Gin. It looks far less bushy styled this way. I love it!" Hermione grinned as she studied the beautiful bride in the mirror. "I can't believe it's me!"

"All part of the Weasley service. Now, do you have any suitable jewellery?" The redhead suddenly turned and stared at Hermione. "Bloody hell! What about wedding rings?"

Hermione's elation evaporated as she realised she had given no thought to the matter. "I have no idea. The subject never came up. What shall I do?"

Ginny thought rapidly. "This is a Ministry ceremony, right?"

"Yes. It has to be performed by an authorised Ministry official to comply with the Marriage Law."

"Then don't worry. You won't need wedding rings, as they are unnecessary in purely Ministry performed unions. If you wish to buy rings later, you are perfectly entitled to, but you won't need them today. They usually use some sort of magical bond or vow in their ceremonies."

"I suppose wedding rings really are a fairly recent Muggle invention anyway," mused Hermione, reassured by Ginny's words. "But it would have been nice to have them. I guess I should talk to Severus about finding some later. Now, it's time you dressed as well, Miss Weasley!"

Once Ginny had donned her own finery, a dress in a similar style to Hermione's but in soft, green satin, the girls were ready to go. Hoots and cheers followed them as they passed through the group of well-wishers in the common room, once again explaining why the ceremony was only to be attended by a select few.

"We'll see you all at the celebratory feast later," Hermione called when they finally reached the door.

"Whew! I thought we'd never get away from that lot!" Ginny grinned, then stopped in her tracks as she rounded the corner into the main corridor. "Wow! That's some wizard you are marrying, Hermione!"

Hermione followed her friend's gaze, smile widening in appreciation.

"Do you think it's his hair?" whispered Ginny. "Tied back like that it makes him look quite striking."

"Or it could be those gorgeous robes. They have to be silk. Still black, but the detailing is magnificent. And the cut shows off his body much better than his usual style." Hermione openly ogled her husband-to-be.

The two young women trailed behind the seemingly oblivious wizard until they reached the corridor which led to the headmistress's staircase.

"So, do I pass?" Snape turned and asked with a roguish grin.

Hermione slowly ran her eyes over his body from elegantly coiffed hair to highly polished boots. "Mmm. Definitely," she replied.

"Impressive," Ginny added.

"I'm pleased you approve, and may I say, you ladies are both looking delightful." He spoke with gentlemanly courtesy to both witches, but the hot desire in his eyes was only directed at one.

Moments later, the three stood at the base of stairs leading to Snape and Hermione's future.

"Are you ready for this?" he murmured in her ear.

"I'm ready." She reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. The brief upturn of the corners of his mouth was his only response.

Ginny turned and wrapped her arms around Hermione, surprising her with a fierce hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"He's a good man. Take care of him," she told her best friend.

Snape's startled expression at her words transformed into warmth as Ginny embraced him in turn.

"I know you'll look after her, sir. And remember, if she gets a little bossy, just tell her so – she usually backs off." After kissing his cheek as well, she grinned. "Well, come on then, let's get you married. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you will get to the wedding night!"

Hermione's whack on her arm and Snape's flush only served to make the irrepressible redhead's grin wider.

"You two are so easy to bait!" she crowed.

"Remind me again why this crazy young woman is your best friend, my dear?" Snape enquired, his best scowl applied to his face.

"Because she's crazy enough to like my fiancé," Hermione replied with a wry grin.

"I suppose that is an acceptable reason for putting up with her."

"It could be worse. We could be standing here with Ron... or Harry... or..."

"No! Stop! I give in. Ginny Weasley, you are my soon-to-be-bride's best friend. I would consider it an honour to be considered a friend as well." Snape extended his hand formally, which was ignored as Ginny enthusiastically hugged him once more.

"OK! OK! That's enough! He's mine, remember!" Hermione chuckled.

"You do realise, between the pair of you my reputation as a sour, old git is going to be completely ruined?" Snape smiled ruefully at the two young witches before him.

"We certainly hope so," retorted Ginny. "Now, get upstairs!"

And to Snape's astonishment, and secret delight, she slapped him on the rear to get him moving.

"Merlin, save me from Weasley women!" Snape pleaded as they ascended the stairs.

Hermione simply stared at the younger girl. Once Ginny Weasley accepted someone as a friend, she held nothing back.

Upon entering the headmistress's office, Hermione was entranced by the profusion of flowers and soft, pastel colours, which had replaced the heavy plaids and dark wood the current incumbent favoured.

A twinkle in Filius Flitwick's eye revealed the wand responsible for the changes. She watched with interest as Snape's expression morphed smoothly from his initial horror to serene acceptance. Wondering briefly if her fiancé had had a few fortifying drinks before leaving his rooms, she decided to simply enjoy his apparent mild humour.

Minerva McGonagall stepped forward. "Severus, Hermione, and Ginevra. You all look splendid. Please come and sit down while we attend to the legal necessities."

A short, thickset wizard wearing ill-fitting robes coughed delicately as the headmistress spoke.

"Oh, yes. Allow me to introduce Horatio Flume, the senior Marriage Law official from the Ministry. He will perform the ceremony and the appropriate Ministry-required charm work." Her lips thinned in disapproval as she spoke.

"What Ministry-required charm work?" demanded Hermione, a split second before Snape opened his mouth.

"Er... The spell that monitors the couple's compliance with the... ahem... procreation intent of the law." The Ministry man looked suitably embarrassed.

"Oh. You mean the spell that tells the perverts in your office exactly how often we are shagging? Tell me, Mr Flume, does kissing register? Manual stimulation? What about oral sex? If I give Severus here a blow job, does that show up on some sort of score sheet?" Hermione was deliberately blunt, much to the amusement of all in the room except Flume and her mortified fiancé, who had discovered a sudden fascination with the pattern on the rug. "I hope you people don't have a heavy workload, because we intend to keep you extremely busy!"

"Don't take that tone with me, young lady. I am no more in favour of this whole process than you are, but I have a family to feed and a Head of Department who does not take kindly to her orders being disobeyed."

Hermione sighed but said no more as she and Snape were handed the standard marriage documentation and the special Marriage Law papers.

"Severus, this says we have to have sex at least once a week without contraception, and if I haven't conceived after twelve months we have to present ourselves to the Ministry healers for examination. They also retain the right to randomly check for the use of contraceptive charms or potions." Hermione pointed out the relevant paragraphs.

"And you expected otherwise? How else will they enforce your recommendations?" he countered.

She had the grace to flush. "True. Well, we did expect it, didn't we? How many little Snapes did you say you wanted?" she asked with a cheeky grin, knowing full well the scans used by the healers would not reveal her Muggle contraceptive methods. She had discreetly checked that fact with Poppy Pomfrey the previous week.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Just sign the damned paperwork, Granger!"

Hermione signed her name with a flourish. "Why do we have to do this before the ceremony?" she asked.

"Your signature gives your consent to the spells used in the ceremony. Such charms cannot be used against a witch's or wizard's will," Flitwick explained as they all stood to begin the final part of the proceedings.

"Ahem," began Flume. "Do we have two witnesses of legal age and good standing present for the marriage of Severus Tobias Snape to Hermione Jean Granger?"

"I, Ginevra Molly Weasley, bear witness for the bride," stated Ginny.

"I, Filius Flitwick, bear witness for the groom."

"Then we may begin. Please face each other and join hands."

Snape and Hermione complied, standing before the bespectacled wizard.

"Hem, hem."

The interruption from the doorway called a halt to the proceedings. Standing just inside the office was Dolores Umbridge, resplendent in a pink tweed suit and matching bow, accompanied by a slightly twitchy Sybill Trelawney and a wide-eyed Millicent Bulstrode.

"Oh, Merlin, it's the Unholy Alliance," murmured Snape into Hermione's ear. "There should be a law against those three consorting together."

"I suppose it was a little too much to expect them to give up such a prize without a fight," she teased, sotto voce. "Should I take my wand out and prepare to defend your honour?"

He nodded at the headmistress, whose expression left no doubt as to her opinion of the intruders. "I think Minerva can handle the likes of Umbridge. I think we should just sit back and watch the show."

"Ms Umbridge, Professor Trelawney, Miss Bulstrode, to what do we owe the pleasure?" The cold steel in the headmistress's tone belied her polite inquiry.

"We are here to prevent a travesty. The very thought of a professor at this institution marrying a student is disgraceful!" Dolores Umbridge puffed herself up into full toad-like officiousness as she spoke. "The ceremony must be stopped. I will not permit it to proceed." She folded her hands complacently over her handbag and stood, smug and secure in her own righteousness.

"Is that so?" Minerva McGonagall replied, giving the odious woman no quarter. "I believe the Ministry would view it in an altogether different light, given the new Marriage Law, which actively encourages any woman over eighteen to petition for eligible wizards. There appears to be no stipulation as to the ages or occupations of the couple. The paperwork for this union has been completed before a duly authorised Ministry official, who could find no irregularities.

"Furthermore, Ms Umbridge, I demand to know what business it is of yours, and why you are in my office uninvited." In full tirade, she turned to the cowering Divination professor and student. "Sybill, did you bring this woman past the gargoyle? What could you hope to gain by allying yourself with such a b...witch? And Miss Bulstrode, while I am aware you might have been led astray by those supposedly older and wiser than yourself, unless you remove yourself from this office immediately there will be consequences." The headmistress's glare melted the Divination professor's feeble resistance, and she scuttled out of the room, dragging the young Slytherin witch with her.

Hermione mouthed silently to Snape and Ginny, "Two down, one to go." They watched with amusement as Dolores Umbridge ignored the headmistress's admonition and stormed over to the flustered Ministry man.

"Mr Flume. What is the meaning of this? You of all people should know how hard I worked and how many favours I had to call in to get this law slipped through as quickly as possible." Her composure cast aside, Dolores allowed her temper to take over. "How dare you give Ministry approval to this match. You know he is mine!" she screeched, heedless of her suddenly interested audience.

"Yes, Ms Umbridge. No, Ms Umbridge. Sorry, Ms Umbridge. P-please don't fire me, I have..."

"She is your superior?" Hermione could not restrain herself as her brain put a few things together and rapidly reached the correct conclusion.

The man stopped grovelling briefly and nodded.

"So, she used my analysis to further her own underhanded desire to get her hands on Severus Snape? You evil, misbegotten, manipulative..." Hermione no longer felt any obligation to conceal her feelings for the nasty piece of work before her.

"Now, Hermione, dear, perhaps we should let the appropriate authorities deal with her?" Minerva McGonagall suggested as Ginny and Snape confiscated Hermione's wand and restrained her more violent impulses. Meanwhile, the Charms master had the forethought to disarm and immobilise the raving, incoherent Umbridge before she took flight.

A quick Floo call summoned Kingsley Shacklebolt, who rapidly took everyone's statements. Flume happily detailed the extent of Umbridge's many breaches of protocol, ethics, and Wizarding Law. An hour later, Umbridge had been removed to the Ministry for further questioning, and a beaming Flume had begun to gather up his papers.

"What are you doing?" asked Hermione, a suspicious cloud gathering on her brow.

"Leaving. I assume you will not need me any longer," he replied.

"But you haven't performed the ceremony yet."

"You heard Minister Shacklebolt. There is to be a full enquiry into the whole Marriage Law. You do not have to marry now. It's all been cancelled."

Prompt: 1. Something Old. The Marriage Law Challenge. Many thanks to karelia for the beta.