Chapter Twenty-one: Parenthood

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to JKR. Only the plot shenanigans are mine.

Chapter Twenty-one: Parenthood

Severus slammed the door of his living quarters and muttered to himself as he threw his robes over the couch. After pouring a glass of Firewhiskey and draining it in one long swallow, he lowered himself into his favourite chair and closed his eyes. Slowly, he felt the tension draining away as the alcohol worked its magic.

A soft giggle prompted him to lift one eyelid. Hermione was standing in the bedroom doorway studying his... feet?

"What?"

She walked over and sat on the arm of his chair. Kissing away his frown, she murmured in his ear, "Look at your socks, love."

Peering down at his feet for the first time since he had dressed that morning, Severus found enlightenment. Somehow, his trousers were three inches shorter than usual, revealing his socks. Socks that were usually plain black, not black with red and gold lettering scrolling around them declaring, Harry Potter is My Hero.

"Oh, fuck. You mean she not only charmed the hem of my robes to lift all the time, but she enchanted my socks as well? No wonder the little brats couldn't stop their infernal snickering," he griped.

"Er... that's not all. Go and look in the mirror."

He sighed and stood to face the mirror above the mantelpiece. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Try taking a point off Gryffindor."

Severus turned and gaped at his wife.

"Take a point off Gryffindor. Or Ravenclaw. Or Hufflepuff."

"One point from Gryffindor!"

The moment the words issued from his mouth, red and gold streaks appeared in his hair, lasting a full minute before fading away.

Shaking his head, Severus turned back to his smiling witch. "And I suppose they are yellow for Hufflepuff and blue and bronze for Ravenclaw?"

Hermione nodded, mouth twitching from suppressed mirth. "I think Ravenclaw suits you best, really, dear."

"The little minx. She must have cast the spell last night. I wondered why she was touching my bloody hair. And she put a time-delayed spell on my socks and robes so I didn't notice it this morning when I dressed. Did you help her with this?"

"No. It was all her own work," Hermione replied. "I don't think I would ever have thought of the hair spell."

Grudging admiration began to replace irritation as Severus considered the skill required to out-Slytherin the Head of Slytherin himself. "Ten points to Gryffindor for resorting to sneaky, underhanded tactics," he declared out loud. Suddenly, a faint crackle emanated from his head as red, gold, yellow, blue, and bronze sparks showered out from his hair.

"I think you've just broken the enchantment." Hermione laughed. Pointing her wand at his feet, she ended the spell on his socks and trousers, restoring everything to its usual condition. "There, I think it's safe to go to dinner now."

"Excellent. But before we go, I have something I must do."

"No more pranks. It's time you two called a truce," she warned.

Severus grinned and gathered her into his arms. After several heated kisses, he released her and straightened his clothes. "I needed that. Shall we?" He offered an arm to his flustered wife.

"Tease!"

"Later, my love. Later."

Ginny's cheeky grin greeted them as they entered the Great Hall. She raised her glass in a silent toast as Severus and Hermione reached the Gryffindor table.

"I see you've figured it out," she said.

Severus nodded and gave a formal bow. "Indeed, and I concede defeat. You, Ginevra Weasley, really are the expert at tormenting poor, innocent creatures such as me. I find myself needing to compliment you on your utter deviousness and callous disregard for authority. If I had the power, I would bestow upon you an honorary membership to Slytherin House and..."

"All right, all right, I get the idea. No need to be sarcastic, Professor dear." Ginny smirked at her victory and seamlessly switched to a completely different topic. "So, what did you think of Hermione's news?"

Severus frowned and glanced at both witches in turn. "What news?"

"Er... I was going to tell you, but..." Hermione blushed and managed a weak smile.

"You haven't told him yet? Didn't you see Madam Pomfrey this morning?" Ginny sighed and turned to Severus. "I'm sorry; I should have kept my big mouth shut."

"This wouldn't be something to do with the way you've been so distracted lately, would it, dear?" Severus growled. "Tell me what everyone else in this castle appears to know already!" he ordered, unaware his frustration was finding a ready audience in the tables nearby.

"It would be better if we waited until after dinner. In our own quarters," Hermione pleaded.

"I've waited long enough. Shall I ask our redheaded friend here?"

"No! Just trust me; it's not something..."

"Tell. Me. Now!" He glared around at the nearby Gryffindors, who hastily averted their eyes. "Before every student in this damned room pokes their nose into our concerns!"

Three days of gut-wrenching anxiety combined with raging pregnancy hormones conspired against Hermione's carefully wrought self-control. She snapped.

"And if you hadn't poked yourself into every part of my body, there wouldn't be any concerns!" Her hands automatically fluttered down to her lower abdomen. Several nervous snickers were stifled as the culprits realised the risk.

Severus suddenly became silent and still, eyes transfixed by her currently flat stomach. All his previous resentment at the expectation he would produce children for the greater good faded into insignificance as his heart swelled with masculine pride.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I'm going to be a father?"

"Well, I'm sorry. I knew the Muggle pills had a failure rate, but..."

"I'm going to be a father! I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER!" He gazed at the woman he loved beyond reason and finally accepted he deserved the joy she had just bestowed upon him.

The whole school was struck silent by the sight of the Potions master swinging Hermione around and laughing delightedly. It appeared the old bastard had managed to get his wife up the duff!

Hermione suddenly sat up from her position on the couch snuggled into her husband's arms.

"Severus! What about Potions classes?"

His fingers automatically soothed as he replied, "What about them?"

"The ingredients. Can any of them harm the baby?" Wide, anxious eyes met his.

He laughed. "Hermione, for years I've taught mixed classes of hormone-ridden teenagers who all live together. Do you think yours is the first pregnancy to occur in a student?"

"Well, no. I did hear there was a seventh year a couple of years ago..."

"And several others you did not know about. The curriculum is especially designed to avoid the use of any ingredients that could potentially cause harm to an unborn child."

"But some of them are toxic!" she cried.

"Only if you eat them. Are you planning to eat potions ingredients, dear? I know pregnant women develop odd cravings, but you really should warn me so I can ward the supply room," he teased, cradling her in his arms once again.

For his efforts, he received a slap on the arm. "Prat! What about when we sample the finished product?"

"Have you ever seen me ask a N.E.W.T. level female student to sample a potion, Hermione?"

"No. I suppose I haven't," she replied after due consideration.

"Besides, I'm sure your dear friends would be more than willing to take your place in any dangerous experimentation."

Hermione grinned. "Just wait until Ron has done something particularly idiotic; then feel free! I'm sorry, Severus, I should have realised you had measures in place for this particular eventuality. After all, I've seen how my housemates behave when you professors aren't around."

Severus shuddered. "Please, I don't want to know. I have to brew enough Contraceptive and Morning-After Potion as it is! Now, talking about potions, I'll need to go to the lab shortly to brew you some pregnancy supplements." He scowled as her face dropped. "What?"

"It's just... I can imagine the taste. I've heard about your medicinal potions."

"All the better to dissuade students from feigning illness. However, for you, my love, I'm sure I can do something about the taste."

Hermione snorted. "You make them taste foul deliberately, don't you?"

His smirk was all the answer she needed.

Later that night, after a dose of pleasant-tasting strawberry flavoured Antenatal Potion, Hermione curled around her husband in bed.

"You really don't mind?"

"No. I really don't. I admit, I thought I would, but the idea of my child growing inside the woman I love... It's just..." His gentle caress completed the thought. "And you, Hermione? Do you mind? It is you who has to carry this child and give birth. It is you whose life will be most disrupted."

"I know. At first, I couldn't imagine how I could cope, but the exams will be over long before I become too uncomfortable. I realise I'm likely to be more tired for the first month or two, but I think I'm far enough ahead in my studying to manage. I've always assumed we would start a family sooner rather than later; after all, we don't have many years before you turn forty-five," she replied, stroking his face in reassurance when he winced.

"Do you have to remind me of how ancient I am," he complained.

"Oh, you poor old thing. Do you think I need to Transfigure your broom to a walking stick?"

"Very bloody funny. You won't be laughing when I'm turning grey and you're still young and beautiful."

She attempted to study his appearance in a solemn manner. And failed. Badly. Grinning, she told him, "I think you'd look rather handsome with silver streaks." Before he started to preen, she added, "And of course, a few green ones, just to keep up the Slytherin theme. Perhaps I should ask Ginny what that spell was she used..."

His only recourse was to silence her by the most effective way he knew – with his lips and hands.

"I love you, Severus Snape," she murmured a little later as she ran her hand through his hair. "How did we get so lucky?"

Tenderness never seen by anyone else met her gaze. "I believe a certain know-it-all with a penchant for numbers was to blame. We really ought to thank her some time."

The time for words over, Severus gathered his witch into his arms and proceeded to demonstrate his gratitude.

Several times over.

Habbutt Tobias Snape was born on the seventh of November, 1999. It took Severus eight weeks, several bunches of flowers, untold boxes of chocolate, many fumble-fingered nappy changes, and a good word from Ginny before his wife relented and allowed him the pleasure of her body again. And taught him the handy nappy-changing spell she'd secretly learned from Molly Weasley.

Habbutt was a true Snape in appearance: piercing black eyes, lank black hair, and unfortunate nose. Fortunately, the sweet-tempered nature he had inherited from neither of his parents stood him in good stead as he grew.

Eighteen months later, Habbutt's brother, Piers Brighton Snape made his appearance. This time, his father had the nappy changing down to a fine art, needing only five weeks of grovelling before he was back in favour. Piers was the spitting image of his brother, but even as a baby was far sneakier.

By December 2002, with four black-haired, dark-eyed, large-nosed little boys to care for, Hermione had decided enough was enough. Seth and Geneon's birth had been uneventful, even for twins, but despite the assistance of the house-elves she was tired all the time. Severus, whose nappy-changing expertise was put to excellent use, didn't even try to convince her to do anything other than sleep. If the truth was known, he was quite happy to see their bed at the end of the day himself.

However, as in all families, the sleep-deprived months finally passed. One Saturday, Hermione looked around the sitting room in wonder. It was quiet. The older boys had been stolen by Pomona Sprout for the afternoon, and the twins were fast asleep under the watchful eye of Nupsy. Meeting the gaze of her beloved, patient husband, she deliberately stretched and smiled.

"Severus?"

"Yes, love?"

"You don't suppose..." She raked her eyes slowly down his lean form, with a deliberate pause below his waist.

"Oh, Merlin, I thought you'd never ask," he gasped, unfastening buttons as quickly as his trembling fingers permitted.

"Bedroom!" she squeaked as he tossed his shirt over the chair and started on hers.

"Don't know if I can wait that long," he groaned, but valiantly steered his wife in the general direction of their bedchamber.

"Oh, gods, Severus. You have too many clothes on!" Tugging at his trousers, her hands brushed his erection, sending shivers of arousal through them both. Finally freeing him from confinement, she pushed the garment down to his ankles together with his boxers and stepped out of her own skirt and knickers. Passion paid no heed to the boots obstructing the removal of his trousers as she pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him urgently. Sinking down, taking him in, Hermione breathed a sigh of relief as she rediscovered paradise, Severus following her eagerly down the path to long-awaited release.

Nupsy discretely placed a special house-elf silencing spell on the twins' bedroom door and smiled. Things was back to normal.

A/N: This was written for the Variety Challenge last year. Many thanks to karelia, who is a wonderful beta.