Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"I have a 'Meeting' tonight, so I won't be able to spend time with you, Hermione."

Hermione looked at Severus from behind her desk. They were alone in the classroom as class had just dismissed. This was his first meeting in over a month. Perhaps now that spring was here, Voldemort would increase his activity. Hermione had been secretly glad he hadn't been called very often, but now her heart filled with trepidation once again. How would he return?

"Be careful, Severus," she warned.

"I always am."

"Come find me if you're hurt."

"Why would I be hurt?" he asked curiously.

Hermione looked down. "Voldemort likes to play with his followers. He liked to play with you a lot in my past. Besides, if he finds out you're dating me, he will be livid."

Severus stared at her in silence, processing what she had said. Had he consigned himself to a life of torture? When Dumbledore had explained his role as a spy, he knew there would be the chance that he would be tortured and perhaps even killed, but he wasn't expecting to be at Voldemort's wand tip consistently. Frowning, he hoped he would be able to take whatever was thrown at him without breaking his cover.

Dumbledore's instruction in Occlumency had gone well. He had developed the talent quickly, and he was quite good at it. He had even become smug about his abilities, but if he were to be tortured, how strong would he be? Would he be able to keep the Dark Lord out of his thoughts? Would all of his secrets come tumbling out of his head and into Voldemort's? He would need to redouble his efforts and strengthen his skills even more. If his cover was blown, it would not only mean his death, but the possible destruction of the Order as well. Of course, if Voldemort were ever to know anything about his relationship with Hermione, it would probably mean the death of the both of them.

"I will be careful, Hermione," he said finally. "He will never know about us. I won't let him find out. And if for some reason I am hurt, I will come to you."

Hermione looked back up at him, then rose from her desk and came around to hug him. She placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"I suppose I won't see you until tomorrow then," she said after they parted.

"I will be fine, and I will see you tomorrow."

She nodded, and he disappeared. Hermione braced herself for an evening of worry about his welfare. She knew she wouldn't rest easily until she saw his black eyes looking at her from the Slytherin table at breakfast in the morning.

oooOOOooo

There was a loud banging on Hermione's door. She sat bolt upright in her bed. She had dozed off and had been startled awake by the pounding. She glanced at the clock while she got a robe on. It was midnight. Perhaps Severus had returned. She hurried to the door and pulled it open. Sure enough, Severus was on the other side. He quickly entered the room, looking crazed. Before she even had a chance to close the door, he had pulled her to him and hugged her as if she were a lifeline.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

Severus released her and closed the door. He turned back to Hermione and embraced her again.

"Voldemort told me to kill you," he said finally.

Hermione stiffened.

"He said that you have ignored his warning to leave. You must be taken care of. It will send a message to all Muggle-borns that they must be obedient to him. He wants me to do it tonight."

"Severus, what are we going to do?"

He pulled away from her. "You have to go back, Hermione; to your time."

She crushed him in an embrace. "No! I'm not ready to leave! I can't leave you, Severus."

"You have to. If I refuse to kill you, I will be killed, and then they will send someone else to kill you. I will not have you murdered. You must go back."

Hermione burst into tears. "I won't leave you," she cried. "We can fight him. I'll go into hiding!"

He pushed her back and grabbed her shoulders. "Hermione, think! You have to do this."

Hermione looked down and sniffled, trying to control her tears. "I know... I just don't want to," she finally said.

"You will see me again."

"Everything will be different," she said dismally.

"My love for you will never change."

She looked at him searchingly. Of course it would change. Everything would change. He would have twenty-five years to forget her. He would move on. But she had known that he would. She had prepared herself for their separation. She just wasn't ready for it to be right now. Unfortunately, Voldemort had sealed her fate. She was so tired of him driving everyone's lives. At least when she returned to her present, he would be gone.

"I'll go get the Time-Turner," she said in defeat.

She turned and went to her bedroom. She quickly changed her clothes and went over to her nightstand. She pulled the turner from the nightstand and put it around her neck. She went back out to Severus.

"I want to do this in Dumbledore's office. I would rather appear there in the future. He will at least know what was going on."

Severus nodded and took her hand. They left her room and headed for the Headmaster's office. Still holding her hand, Severus glanced over at her. Teardrops fell silently down her face. He watched her for a few minutes and then stopped and turned to her. He reached out and cradled her face in his hands.

"Don't cry, Hermione," he said and kissed her tears.

"I'm alright, Severus," she sniffled. "Let's just go."

They continued down the hall hand in hand.

"What will you tell Voldemort?" Hermione asked finally.

"I will tell him that when I got to your room, it was deserted. You had packed everything and must have left secretly in the night."

"He will punish you."

"Perhaps, but you will be safe," Severus replied with determination.

"Does he suspect that you are in a relationship with me?"

"No, he has no idea."

They had reached the Gargoyle, and Hermione murmured the password. As the Gargoyle moved aside, she pulled Severus into another embrace.

"You must forget about me," she told him.

"I will never forget you," he responded.

"Then forget that you love me."

"No."

"I just want you to be happy."

"I will be, knowing that you are safe."

"Find someone who will care for you, Severus."

"I already have."

Hermione sobbed and buried her head into his shoulder. "I don't want to leave," she moaned.

"But you will go, because that is what you have to do."

"Please, Severus, move on with your life."

"I will never move on unless you are by my side."

Hermione fought to compose herself. She glared at Severus. "You, Severus Snape, are more stubborn than I am," she said finally in exasperation.

He smiled. "You see, we are perfect for each other."

They turned, ascended the stairway, and knocked on the office door. It took a while, but finally Albus opened the door and let them in, looking from one to the other curiously. They quickly explained everything, and he urged Hermione to get on with the time travel.

Severus had been staring at Hermione the entire time, trying to memorize every part of her. She turned to him and looked at him sadly. He rushed over, and she flung herself into his arms. Severus took her chin in his trembling hand. He lifted her face up so he could stare into her eyes. A million things were said without words in each of their looks. Severus bent down towards her, stopped, and looked at her again. He gazed at her beautiful face, knowing he would not see it again for twenty-five years. He slowly pulled in close to her lips. They kissed one last time as Dumbledore turned to give them some privacy. Tears streamed down Hermione's face as Severus kissed her passionately. She returned his kiss lovingly, conveying her feelings for him and sadness at having to be torn apart. Finally they broke apart. Severus wiped her tears away.

"You will see me very soon," he told her.

"You will not," Hermione said sadly.

She knew in her heart that this was the end of them. How could he wait for her? There was too much time between now and their furture reunion. As determined as he may feel now, she knew that when she appeared in her time, their relationship would be over. She looked upon him again, hoping to sear his face into her memory. It would be the only thing that would console her when she returned.

Looking into his eyes, she saw such immense love in them. It took her breath away. Could it be possible that that love would last? A glimmer of hope flickered in her heart as a tear slid down her cheek. It was selfish, she knew, to want him to continue loving her. But she couldn't help it. Her life seemed empty without him. She truly didn't know how she would go on in the future without his love.

Severus touched her face again, memorizing everything about it. She broke out of her reverie as he caressed her and kissed her lightly once more.

"You'd better go," he said finally and moved away.

She picked up the Time-Turner and took her wand. She readied herself to spin the turner and return to her present. She regretted not having more time with Severus, but thanks to Voldemort, they had no other choice. She glanced back up at the man she loved and gave him a brilliant smile.

"I love you," she told him and tapped the turner.

"I love you too," he replied as he watched the small instrument begin to spin wildly. Before he had a chance to look back into her face, she had disappeared. His life was gone.

Dumbledore turned back to Severus.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I'm sure this is hard for you."

Severus fought back tears and looked at Dumbledore. "I will be alright. She is safe. I need to report back to the Dark Lord," he said and turned to leave.

"Good luck, Severus," Dumbledore said as Severus swept from the room.

oooOOOooo

Voldemort sat regally upon a throne in the largest room in his hideaway. The 'Dark Lord' did nothing shabbily. The floor was made of marble, and the room was filled with expensive tapestries depicting great Wizards in history. The largest sat behind the throne. It was a depiction of Salazar Slytherin in front of a statue of a snake. The colorful tapestry covered the wall from floor to ceiling.

"Is she dead, Severus?" Voldemort demanded as he hissed out the words.

The Dark Lord's eyes looked to his tool in expectation.

Severus bowed low on one knee and said, "My Lord, when I arrived at her rooms, I found them empty. All of her belongings were gone. She has escaped."

"What!" Voldemort screamed. "How could she know what we were planning? Someone tipped her off."

"My Lord, it seemed that she had been gone for some time; probably before our meeting dispersed. I don't know how, but she must have had some foreboding. I don't think you have been betrayed."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes at Severus. He swept into Severus' mind and saw the same things that Severus had just explained. Evidently, his minion was telling the truth.

"I'll teach you to think, Severus," he cried and extended his wand.

The Cruciatus curse hit Severus, and he crumpled to the floor. He had never felt such excruciating pain before. Voldemort held the curse for what seemed like forever, and Severus screamed. The tears he had been holding back since Hermione had left flowed down his face as he reacted to the pain and to her departure. He pulled himself into a ball and shivered as Voldemort lifted the curse.

"Next time, when I give you an assignment, I expect it to be done! Is that understood?"

"Yes, my Lord," Severus groaned from the floor.

"Leave me," Voldemort ordered.

Severus shakily got to his feet. He was unsure if he could Apparate properly but was even more sure that delaying his departure would cause more pain. He turned on the spot and disappeared. He collapsed in front of the gates of Hogwarts. Curling into a ball again, he screamed. He wasn't sure if he was screaming from the pain of the curse or from his intense feeling of loss. Hermione was gone. He would not see her again for twenty-five years. It was as if she had died. Tears coursed down his cheeks as he screamed again. He wrapped his arms around his legs and sobbed.

He felt gentle hands pulling him to a standing position. Dumbledore was supporting his weakened form.

"We should get you to the infirmary, my boy," he told Severus.

Dumbledore put his arms supportively around Severus' shoulders and guided him up the walkway.

"It will get easier with time," he muttered to Severus as they slowly made their way into the castle.

Severus frowned. Twenty-five years worth of time, he thought morosely.

oooOOOooo

Severus spent that night in the infirmary, recuperating from the Cruciatus curse that had been cast upon him for his inability to kill Hermione. Madam Pomfrey had given him the necessary potions to recover, but he found that he still ached all over. The ache was more of a feeling of loss than of pain. He sobbed in agony into his pillow for most of the night, feeling more alone than he ever had. Hermione was gone. She would no longer flash a quick smile at him in the middle of class. They would no longer share their evenings together in the Room of Requirement. He would no longer feel her loving embrace and have her wonderful kisses to encourage him. He didn't even have a picture of her.

How could he go on without her? She had become essential to his life, like the beating of his heart. Now all he felt was an incredible emptiness. His heart felt like it would explode in grief. His chest physically ached from his sense of loss. When he thought of the months and years he would have to endure without her, his chest constricted so tightly he thought he would be unable to continue breathing. He was alone, utterly alone, and no one could help him ease the pain of his loss. No one could understand what he was feeling. He would have to endure this horrible agony alone for what seemed like forever. He punched his pillow in frustration.

"Hermione!" he sobbed. "I can't do it. I can't live without you for that long!"

He sunk into hopelessness. The years he had to wait stretched in front of him, mocking him. Would he ever feel happy again before she returned? Was he consigned to this bitter grief for what would seem to be the rest of his life? How could he live his life alone like this? He felt empty, drained of everything that made him feel good. There would be no happiness for him. He was to be nothing but a puppet of Voldemort, with no passion, no joy, just misery.

For a little bit, he wished he had never met her. But if that had been the case, he would be consigned to a fate that seemed to him now to be worse than death. Becoming the monster that Hermione had described to him would be so much worse than living without her for the next twenty-five years. At least if he could change his life, when she reappeared in it, she would see him in a new light. Hopefully it would be a light that she would find appealing.

Slowly, his sobs quieted and stopped completely. He had no more tears to shed. He finally slipped into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning on the bed. His dreams were filled with nightmares of Hermione coming toward him and then being pulled away into a vortex where she was crying his name over and over again until she disappeared from his sight.

oooOOOooo

The next months were difficult for Severus. Hermione's disappearance had been spoken of often among students and faculty alike, bringing memories that Severus would have rather forgotten right back into the forefront of his mind. Every night he went to the Room of Requirement. Every night he tortured himself about her being gone. Some nights he missed her so much he would sleep in the room, emerging the next day looking haggard. It was as if she were dead, and in truth, to him it seemed she was. Her return seemed so far away that he could not fathom spending all of that time without her. He contemplated ending his life, but quickly threw those feelings out of his mind. They would serve no purpose; he would still be without his Hermione.

He went about classes in a fog. He didn't care anymore whether he passed or not. People left him alone even more than before. They would give him a wide berth in the hallway, and even Lucius didn't sit with him at meals anymore. The Marauders had lost interest in taunting him also, as he would just ignore them, taking the fun out of their teasing. If only he had known that was the key to their silence before. The faculty tried to get him out of his funk, but he just ignored their concern and hid himself away in the Room of Requirement for as long as he could when school wasn't in session.

Slowly, he began to mourn less. He began concentrating on happy memories of the two of them and tried to look forward to their reunion, even if it seemed like it was so far in the future that it would never come. He tried to concentrate on other things. He poured himself into his studies once again; even more so than before Hermione had gone. He concentrated on Potions and asked Professor Slughorn if he could help him brew in the evenings. Slughorn had seemed a bit taken aback, but he accepted Severus' offer readily. The Professor needed to brew a lot for the infirmary among other things and welcomed a helping hand.

Severus learned much from Professor Slughorn and told him of his desire to become a Potions master. Slughorn had seemed pleased that one of his students had such a liking to his subject and had suggested he try to set up an apprenticeship with a master friend of his. Severus went about the normal formalities, and before he knew it, he had an offer to study under the foremost Potions master in the world. Slughorn did have great contacts after all.

Severus continued his missions with the Dark Lord. He quietly slipped information to Dumbledore, and some of Voldemort's plans were thwarted. Other times they were not. More than once Severus was forced to take part in things that gave him nightmares for months afterwards. He had been forced to torture innocent people and had watched as other Death Eaters had mercilessly killed innocent Muggles. He had even been forced to kill some himself, usually to keep them from suffering worse fates. His stomach turned every time he was a part of such brutality, but he stayed stoic behind his mask.

Before he realized it, the school year had come to an end, and he was preparing to begin his apprenticeship. His Potions Master lived in London; so unfortunately, he would still be tied to the Dark Lord. No matter, he was studying a subject he found fascinating.

His memories of Hermione had now turned bittersweet. He held his love for her deep within his heart and thought of her fondly. He no longer had the urge to destroy things when he thought of them being parted. He no longer wished he were dead. He looked forward to the future. A future far away, where she would be in his life again, and they would never be separated. The thoughts of that future helped him to deal with the harsh realities of his current life.

A/N: Next up: History repeats itself; with a few twists.

Stupid Voldemort, ruining everything. I think Hermione might have hung out in the past for several years had it not been for his death order. Don't forget to leave a review, and thanks for reading.