Three

A/N: Standard disclaimer applies.

~*~

The first rays of light over the canyon shimmered through the early morning haze, bathing the area around the studio with a golden light. Severus opened one eye and could almost see the waves of magic as they danced around his body in the sun's rays that penetrated the small room. He stood and stretched, wincing as the muscles in his back protested his sudden movements.

The door to Lupin's bedroom swung open and the yawning man emerged clad in a pair of pyjama bottoms. Severus was reminded of that body warm against his in the bed they had once shared, and of the countless mornings that Lupin had emerged naked from the bedroom at Spinner's End, rumpled in a just-shagged way with a wolfish grin on his face.

Lupin didn't smile this morning however, and his cagey demeanour only served to remind Severus that they were indeed starting over.

~~~

'Morning.'

Remus was surprised at Severus' greeting, but he supposed that the ex-spy wouldn't have survived for long if he'd not been constantly vigilant. He growled his reply in a voice still roughened by sleep and grabbed the blanket off the couch, wrapping it around himself as he shuffled across to the kitchen counter. Severus' scent on the blanket evoked too many memories that Remus was trying desperately to forget, and he gazed out his window as he tried to distract himself with the softly shimmering light on the canyon walls. With a few waves of his wand the water was boiling, and shortly thereafter the two men sat on opposite sides of the small table, clutching cups of black coffee and picking at slices of toast. Not a word had been said, and Remus wondered just what he'd set himself up for.

Failure, probably. Sorrow, definitely. He could only hope that Severus would quickly accomplish whatever it was he'd set out to do so that Remus could once more be left in peace. He'd found that peace here, and he knew that he could recapture it, if only Severus would leave him to his uncomplicated life.

He had the nagging feeling that Severus intended no such thing. The man had apologised the night before, and Remus couldn't begin to imagine what had driven the normally taciturn man to such extremes. He hardly dared think that it was because Severus missed him or really wanted him back.

Remus turned his thoughts back to the day's mission. He had woken early in order to journey to the bottom of the canyon. The temperatures during the day often rose to 115° in the summertime, but the full moon was approaching and he needed certain plants for his potion. There was no substitute for Wolfsbane, and he certainly didn't possess the knowledge or the skill to even attempt to brew it, but he had devised a reasonable alternative. His potion didn't do much to lessen the pain of his transformations but it did keep the wolf calm throughout the night. It was as much as he could hope for.

He chanced a look at Severus, whose long, slender fingers wrapped around his cup as his black eyes mirrored the dark coffee within it. Severus looked up quickly, their eyes catching, and Remus felt tingles up his spine at the incredible power of that gaze.

'I'll be going down to the bottom of the canyon today, Severus. There is something I need there.'

He noticed the flicker of interest in Severus' eyes and wondered whether he should have bothered to say anything.

'Will you be Apparating there?' Severus' voice was calm, his words precise. Remus nodded – it would take him several hours just to descend to the bottom using the Muggle trails.

'May I join you?'

Remus was genuinely surprised at Severus' deferential tone and nodded again without thinking.

~~~

Severus breathed an inward sigh of relief that Lupin had agreed. Although he was never someone who enjoyed the outdoors, the Canyon possessed a unique quality that was unmistakable, and he welcomed the opportunity to visit her depths in the hopes that he could break through the chill and begin to close the distance between him and Lupin.

Less than an hour later, they stood just inside the front door, Silencing Charms in effect. Severus had showered quickly and was now wearing a pair of Lupin's jeans and his own shirt that he had transfigured into one with short sleeves. Lupin was dressed in lighter fabrics: cotton trousers, a lightweight shirt and moccasins. Gone were the signature cardigans that Severus remembered.

Lupin would have to Apparate them both to the canyon floor, and Severus was more than a little concerned. He hoped that the man had his head together enough and wouldn't Splinch them both, but he had to go on faith. To Severus Snape, faith was something very hard to come by, but he had vowed to give Lupin time and to show him understanding. There was too much to lose, and he held his breath as Lupin's arms wrapped around his torso.

Everything about him was so familiar – his warmth, his smell, the wiry strength of his body against Severus' – and for a fraction of a moment, Severus was thankful that he wasn't the one in charge of the Apparation. For another fraction of a moment he was disturbed that he could be so affected by this man, and then he felt the familiar squeeze as they moved through space.

They landed on the uneven canyon floor, and Severus stumbled slightly, temporarily disoriented by the sudden change in altitude. He should have expected it, and Lupin's strong arms tightened for a moment as he held Severus steadily against his chest. Severus shook his head and took a couple of deep breaths, then, just as suddenly as they'd arrived, Lupin's arms disappeared from around him and a reed basket was thrust into his hands.

Severus looked up at the canyon walls towering thousands of feet above him. They had Apparated to the banks of the river that cut a path through the rocks at the bottom, and its cool, almost cheerful rippling movements helped to ground Severus in a way he'd not thought possible. The ancient magic was as powerful here as it had been at the canyon's rim and he felt its welcoming presence all around him. He could only hope that it was a favourable sign.

He looked around for Lupin and noticed that the lycanthrope had made his way to a small inlet in the river and was standing in a thicket at the river's edge. Severus wondered how the man had ever found the secluded spot, but acknowledged that both Lupin's animal instincts and the area's magical guidance probably led him straight to it. He joined Lupin and watched him place some tiny seeds into the basket. Severus recognised the smooth, reddish-brown bark on the slender branches of the large, shrub-like tamarisk plant. From what he knew of the weed, it was highly noxious.

Lupin ignored him and moved further upstream, stopping next to a small thicket of some sort of willow. All that Severus could remember of willows was that they produced a pain-relieving substance called salicin which had been used for centuries to treat toothaches and other intestinal pain. He arched his eyebrow and watched closely as Lupin placed some of the trimmed bark into the basket as well, but was surprised when he began speaking.

'The bark makes a soothing tea. It helps.'

Severus knew he meant after transformation and filed that information away as Lupin walked towards him once more. The stifling heat of the day was settling into the canyon and Severus began to feel rivulets of sweat run down his back.

'We just need one more thing, Severus. It's getting late, so I'll need to Apparate us there.'

Severus was gratified to hear the 'we' and 'us' in Lupin's words, and that almost made up for the indignity of Side-Along Apparation.

Less than an hour later they were back in Lupin's home, the results of their trip laid out on the table before them. Lupin had harvested some flowers and the sap from the western honey mesquite plant – Severus had known that the blossoms could be used for tea, but Lupin quietly informed him that the sap could be used as a wash for wounds and the leaves were also beneficial in a medicinal tea.

Severus noticed that whereas Lupin had been moderately communicative, his tone held a quiet, almost resigned quality that Severus didn't feel comfortable with. He wondered whether Lupin was in fact able or even willing to make the effort that they'd both need in order to salvage anything of their relationship.

~~~

Remus was thankful that his gathering of plant materials had been successful. He had both anticipated and dreaded Side-Along Apparation with Severus as he found that the man's proximity disturbed him in all-too-familiar ways. When Remus had wrapped his arms around Severus, the tension had been obvious, and for a brief moment Remus had flashes of their lives several years prior. He had always loved the feel of Severus against him and had revelled in the power of his presence. Whether they were sitting reading, standing and arguing, or sliding against each other in passion, Severus Snape was sheer power. Nothing had changed in that regard, but Remus was wary of the effects that Severus' power could have on him. He wasn't the same man Severus had known, the disheartened and weak werewolf of the second war. Remus had come into his own here; his soul and heart had been tended and mended by the magic of the ancients. He had grown strong, capable and confident in his abilities.

For all that, his only weakness was Severus.

He refused to think about that as he set about preparing an early dinner for himself and Severus. A glance at the table confirmed that Severus had not moved from his position where he'd been separating the leaves from the stems, and Remus had thanked him for his efforts. Now, as Remus skinned the desert hare he'd caught in the canyon, he heard the scrape of a chair against the wooden floor. He didn't have to turn around to know that Severus was approaching; he could feel him.

Remus' hands stilled as Severus stood beside him, and they both stared out the window and across the canyon's considerable breadth. Remus was proud of his view as it took in the vista of the canyon below and the North Rim several miles away. He had often stood here over the years and pondered his life, eventually finding the peace that had eluded him everywhere else. How perfectly ironic it was that his peace should be shattered here as well.

Severus cleared his throat and Remus held his breath in anticipation.

'Let me help you?'

That voice!

Severus' tone was questioning and Remus strove to keep his voice level and his hands from shaking. He could feel the soothing and gentling waves of the Hopi's magical forces and knew that he wasn't alone. The canyon had always protected him.

'It's only a hare and some vegetables, Severus – nothing fancy, I'm afraid.'

'Still, I'd like to help you.'

Severus' quiet tone told Remus more than the mere words could. He was trying to make amends the best way he knew how.

~~~

Severus wondered whether Lupin would in fact let him in; let him help in whatever small way he could. He needed an opening, an opportunity to get them talking again, to connect again.

They used to talk. They would have deep philosophical discussions over dinner or discuss books in front of the fireplace. Sometimes they would speak of their fears in hushed tones as they lay in bed after sex, and as guarded as Severus had to be in his life, those rare moments with Lupin afforded him the opportunity to expose his underbelly without fear of being eviscerated. He hadn't realized just how valuable that had been, and by the time he had understood his mistake, it was too late.

Lupin finally met his eyes, and Severus noted again the man's golden glow, so different from the pale, thin man he'd known. They were so close that he could almost count the flecks of gold in Lupin's eyes, and he shivered slightly. Lupin handed him the hare and, with effort, Severus focused his attention on the animal. He noticed that it had been deftly gutted and skinned, so he proceeded to concentrate on the task at hand as he broke apart the various pieces and scored the meat with his wand. Lupin filled a small cauldron with water, and soon the potatoes and onions were simmering. As Severus rolled the rabbit pieces in a mixture of flour, salt and pepper, he handed them to Lupin who browned them slightly in another pan with some butter before adding them to the boiling mixture. Severus felt an almost electric shock every time their fingers met, and he hoped that his elevated heart rate was audible only to himself. He felt the definite tingles of attraction along his spine, made more acute by the magic that encompassed them, and the very thought of Lupin's skin on his made him twitchy with desire.

Lupin added some herbs and various leaves from a small basket, then covered the cauldron and lowered the fire. They moved well together in the kitchen, efficiently getting the job done, and then they cleared up after themselves and stood as a slightly awkward silence stretched around them.

'Thanks.'

Severus was grateful that Lupin had broken the silence, and although the werewolf's eyes hadn't met his own, Severus knew that his opportunity had come.

'Tell me about the magic here.' He sat on the couch and tried to make it sound like a request rather than a command.

Lupin glanced through the window into the wide expanse of canyon and took a deep breath.

'Hopi magic predominantly, I believe, very ancient, many centuries old, and very powerful. They consider this place to be spiritually significant as their legendary Sipapu, or 'place of emergency,' is located about thirty miles northeast along the river. I felt their strength and power the moment I arrived...' Lupin's voice trailed off as he met Severus' eyes, and for a moment Severus saw the haunting shadow of the man the night he left two years prior.

'But how did you find this place?

'I knew about it from my years of travelling. I'd researched it a bit and it seemed to be right somehow.'

'Well, it's about as different from England as one could hope to get.'

Lupin's eyes narrowed. 'Exactly. I wanted nothing of my former life, Severus. No hatred, no prejudice, no war, no death, no pain. I just wanted to be left alone, and to find some sort of peace.

'And have you found it?' Severus' heart leapt at his question, both needing and fearing Lupin's answer.

Lupin gave a rueful grin.

'I thought I had, yes, in the moments just before you arrived.'

'And now?'

'Now I'm not entirely sure. I've certainly enjoyed my solitude, Severus. I live as I want without answering to anyone.'

Severus considered that pointed remark and wondered whether he'd do Lupin any good by coming back into his life.

'What about the Wolfsbane? What do you do for that?'

'I've managed to find something that works, certainly not as well as your potion, but I've made do.'

Severus noticed the firm set of Lupin's jaw and realized that the two years spent apart seemed to have greatly improved Lupin's sense of self. Living on his own like he did after the first war, once again having to rely solely on his wits and his knowledge had turned the former mild-mannered Order member into so much more. Lupin had become as strong a wizard in his own right as Severus was. A ripple of appreciation and understanding flowed through him, accompanied by a tingle of excitement. Lupin was now a more-than-worthy adversary and someone who would be a strong and equal partner in a relationship. Severus would have to make damned sure that this more self-assured Lupin wanted him.

TBC