I have re-read this story, and while I can not say I like it, I can say that it is well put together.  The author did a good job of moving her story and keeping her characters consistent.  While I still do not like the portrayal of Ron, personally I don’t find him to be a jerk in the books, the author did a good job of adding humor to his situation.

The cheese and hallmark comments from before were out of line.  In truth the fluff for me lay in the dialogue which was very sweet and simple.  While written well the dialogue felt out of character for passionate and intelligent people like Hermione and Snape. 

All in all, this story contains a good plot, good plot movement, and humor.  However it was a little too fluffy for my taste.

Elen

P.S. Sorry for the rudeness before, and I hope that I haven’t been rude with these new comments.  Also, please note: I make no comments about your punctuation, grammar or spelling so don’t attack mine.  I judge stories solely on that which I know, style, plot and characters.

~Sigh~ I do so love happy endings! Great chapter! I did feel sorry for Ron though. LOL

Oh, I hope that Hermione is not disappointed by her folks! Poor, insecure Severus. I can see him that way, actually. Hermione will fix him up and, as you said... Stroke his ego! On to the next!

Very nice. I like how they both muddled through and then jumped to the wrong conclusions because they don't know each other well enough not to. Good job! Off to the next!

Oh. My. God. ~fans self~ That was utterly hot. Man, even the kiss on the dance floor got my blood pumping! Off to see what's next!

Well, I can honestly say that I love this beginning! This is so true, if you think about it. People get used to and take for granted how other people treat them, then only notice when something changes.Hermione was brilliant, drawing him out that way. Very subtle. Made him realize he's interested when he hadnt figured it out himself yet. Well done! On to 2!

THis was a great fic all around.  It is one I will set to reread again at a later time too.  Thank you for sharing your talents.

This is great from the start.  The byplay between Hermione and Severus is spot on.  Albus is of course Albus as well.  I look forward to reading through the rest of the story that I see is completed for this one.  It's nice to know that I'll have a finished story when I'm done reading.  {smiles}

I didn't like Ron being painted as a love pariah, and you have some cheese issues to work through;  good writing shouldn't sound like an x rated hallmark channel.  However, the premis was good and there were quite a few moments which made me laugh.ElenAuthor's Response:

I have to say that I find quite a few things interesting.  The first is you giving me a negative comment about my portrayal of Ron.  If you are honest, Ron is an arse at times in canon, so it is my right to portray him that way and give him what I feel is his due in my fic if I choose to do so.

Secondly, "cheese issues?" What cheese issues?  Perhaps you could point out this so called cheese instead of mentioning that it exists and then chickening out of actually commenting on what you found cheesy.  Seems to me that you are happy to criticize my work as long as you don't have to be specific... because then you might actually have to put your money where your mouth is. 

An X-rated Hallmark channel?  Oh, that's clever.  Perhaps you didn't notice that my fic was clearly rated NC-17 before you started reading it, which is the highest rating this site offers.  I do find it interesting, though, that every single story on your favorites list is rated adult... and that most of them have quite a lot of graphic sex scenes.  

I also find it interesting that you have one of my other stories on your favorites list.  Since I think it's safe to assume you like reading graphic sex, clearly your problem is with my writing in general.  What I find interesting is that you can trash this story for its bad writing and favorite my other, which was written at the exact same time this story was.  My writing and writing style are consistent. Are you?

I also noticed, looking through your reviews of other stories, that you gush over many stories with graphic, cheesy sex, full of plotholes and messy grammar, with ridiculously OOC Snapes. Hmmm.

While I appreciate that you liked some parts, I don't appreciate your tone and three stars (which signifies that I have bad grammar and bad plot). But you said I had good plot (premise), and I know for a fact that my grammar is good, so I can only conclude that the three stars is becuase of a petty personal opinion different about Ron not being a love pariah.

Perhaps before you climb up on your soap box next time, you might consider posting your own stories so that we lesser authors might know what good, non-cheesy writing looks like.  I can't wait! 

Have a lovely weekend!

~Soul Bound 

Deputy Headmistress's Response:

SB, I've changed the three star rating to "I prefer not to vote" since it's clear it wasn't given with intentions of helping you grow as a writer but because of a difference of opinions.

that was great. Ron got what he desirved. 

Wow. Just...wow. I love the plot. Severus doesn't get auctioned off nearly enough. :-) I love the way you portray both characters and their relationship, which, like 'real' ones, has uncomfortable moments. Great job!

The only suggestion I have is a product of my anal self, and therefore can be ignored at will. In the first couple sentences of the first chapter, you said 'moral' when you meant 'morale.' There are some comma splits scattered around, but only a few, and they did not detract from my enjoyment of your story.

Oh, the bit with her parents was cute--especially her father! I like how he was nervous to voice his feelings, and the batchlor part with Dumbledore! Good job.

Hello,I've just finished reading this story. I only read completed stories therefore this review is for all chapters.I like the story very much. It's different from the other bachelor auction stories I've read. Sometimes I even wondered about the title because the auction is only mentioned in the beginning and we only get to it in the end. But I like that the auction is not the beginning of the relationship between Severus and Hermione. That's a nice twist to the theme. I also like the slow development with Severus missing her warm smile and them both inventing a potion almost by accident (great idea!). I had some problems though with imagining Severus winking at Hermione. I can imagine him rising a single eyebrow (like Mr. Spock) or a corner of his mouth but winking? But that's all the critique I have. The story is nice, not too fluffy, sexy and funny. As mentioned I like the slow development of the relationship and therefore I appreciate that they don't jump into the next bed right after getting together.Thanks for giving me some entertaining hours.

I'm really enjoying this story.  I can't wait for the next chapter. :)

Cute chapter! Really cute. The way they did the candles on the cake was original! Oh, and I really felt for Severus when he was trying to get up the nerve to tell her he loved her!I can't wait for the next chapter!Sd

i love your lil break marks. those are so pretty!

Loved the bit with the parents.  Poor SS and HG. Maybe she can bid for him.  Great story.

The dinner was funny and I love the line you ended the chapter with.  Nice use of humor r, which showcses your range as a writer.  One of my favorite lines: 

"the cake in front of them more resembled a frosted minefield with candles to mark the bombs than an actual cake"

what a wonderful image! 

  <--  This is me the whole time I read this chapter!  I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed this story.  I'm slightly sad that it'll be over with the next chapter, but then I also canNOT wait to see how it ends!  Thank you so much for this wonderfully funny and sweet piece of reading.

I had fun reading this chapter.  I found her mother's drill sargent rutine funny, mailnly since my father is a retired Marine and put my boyfriends through hades and back. I am looking forward to the next chapter, so see you then!

oh my god! it was a very hard job for my not to laugh out loud as i'm sitting on my balcony and my neighbours would probably have sent me psychiatry lol

dinner with the parents was wonderful!!!! poor severus - finally encouraging himself to show his feelings and then... lol

looking forward to the auction - i wished i could bid as well...

nika 

Albus mettles too much for his continued good health! LOL

lovin this story keep up the fantastic work

You really have to feel for Severus.  I've always seen him has a very private man, who is also very shy.You are portraying him very well.  I especially enjoyed the dinner and the early morning conversation with Hermione.Albus is a menace.  But, you have to indulge him.Love the way the story is going.  Cannot wait for the aution, Hermione will hex anyone who bids against her. I think!  Best wishes.

I loved Hermione's dad... but her mum!  What a tough cookie.  I'm happy she isn't my mum.  LOLGood chapter, even if you did write in the dead of night with barely no sleep.  Kudos for the fine writing.  Cheers!