Misunderstanding and Maturity

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling and am not making any money from this fic. There – a straightforward disclaimer.

Thanks go to Southern_Witch_69 for her patience, encouragement, guidance, beta reading, and friendship.

Misunderstanding and Maturity

Severus woke up on his sofa the next morning in dire in need of a shower and a fresh set of robes. The first thing he thought of, after wondering briefly why he was on his couch, of course, was Hermione. In the light of day, the all-consuming passion had gone, but the feeling of rightness he'd had as he'd held her and kissed her, of completion... remained strongly.

It was a bit frightening, if he was honest with himself. More than a bit actually, but not so much that he wanted these feelings to go away. They were strong, new, and, therefore, risky to pursue, but Severus had gone on long enough in the same routine. This could be a chance to find out what he'd been missing – if he dared, and he certainly wanted to.

He thought again back to the night before and how quickly it had gone from nervous and friendly to heated and hungry, how that first kiss had left him reeling. He'd become another man last night. He'd never lost control like that before in his life. He'd never lost his ability to reason, never once lost himself in the way Hermione's kiss – kisses – had taken him over. It was unnerving but also exhilarating, in a way.

He wondered if there really could be more to this. He wondered if Hermione would give them the chance to find out. Would he? Yes, he would. He wanted to feel that way again. He just hoped that Hermione was through with distancing herself from him.

Severus sighed, knowing already that he was in over his head. He had no idea how to go about a romantic relationship with a woman – assuming, of course, that the woman in question was open to being romanced.

As he showered and dressed for the day, his mind barely on his routine, he came to the conclusion that he would have to find out where Hermione stood before he could even let himself think of anything further happening. It was all well and good for him to think about how much he'd like to explore these newfound possibilities, but what if she had woken up this morning and had come to her senses? What if she thought it had been a mistake? She had been the one to put a stop to it... He shook his head, reminding his brain not to get ahead of itself.

He needed to talk to Hermione... but what to say?

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Hermione, meanwhile, was having many of the same thoughts as Severus – feeling elated and excited about what had happened, but afraid he would think it was a mistake, that he would tell her in no uncertain terms that he'd lost his senses with a willing woman in his arms and would not have done any of it if it hadn't been for the wine.

She made her way through her quarters as she prepared for the day, going back and forth in her mind, her stomach fluttering in a combination of nerves and happiness.

She realized as she closed her door and warded it behind her that she was only one half of this equation; she was just going to have to take the day as it came.

Minutes later, she took a deep breath and pushed open a door to the Great Hall, her eyes instinctively looking to see if Severus was already there; he wasn't. Unsure of what that meant, or if it meant anything at all, she made her way up to the staff table and took her seat, too nervous to be very interested in a real breakfast.

"Hi, Hermione," Remus Lupin said, drawing her out of her thoughts. He could tell there was something on her mind – anyone with eyes could tell there was something on her mind. "Are you feeling all right this morning?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. How are you? I haven't seen you since the full moon. How did it go?"

"Well enough," he said, shrugging. "Wolfsbane Potion's the same as it's always been. Anything new with you?"

They fell into a light conversation that put Hermione ease simply because it gave her something to do other than wonder about Severus.

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Severus entered the Hall shortly after Hermione and made his way up to the head of the room, glaring suitably into the occasional wandering eye that met his. He glanced at the staff table and noted with a slightly uncomfortable jolt in his stomach that Hermione was already there.

He swallowed hard. Even after all the thinking he'd done on the matter, he still had no idea what he was going to say to her. If it turned out that she was upset, angry, or uncomfortable with what had happened, how would he explain his behavior to her? What could he say to excuse the way he'd practically mauled her?

As he got closer to the table, he noticed that Hermione's back was turned to his usual chair and that she was already making conversation with Lupin. He scowled, unsure of how to react. Did that mean she was going back to treating him with indifference, even after last night? Was she just going to pretend it hadn't happened? Well, if that was the case, he was hardly going to open the door for her to snub him.

He steeled himself as he sat down, thinking that if she was going to go on ignoring him, she wasn't worth the bother. The least she could do was turn around and face him. She had to know he was there; he'd been making the usual amount of noise typical of sliding a chair back from a table and sitting down.

He looked again at her turned back and clenched his jaw, feeling spurned and foolish for getting ahead of himself. Enough was enough. If she wanted to continue her game, she could continue on her own. He wanted no part in it.

Hermione had no idea that Severus had not only arrived but was also sitting behind her doing a truly impressive job of letting his bitterness and doubt replace the good they'd achieved over the last week. She'd been so glad of the momentary excuse to get her mind off her nerves that she'd completely tuned everything else out but her conversation with Remus.

It was, therefore, a surprise to her when they finished speaking and she turned around to find Severus staring fixedly ahead, eating his breakfast at an unhurried pace. She looked at him, again feeling the fluttering sensation in her stomach that was quickly become familiar.

She didn't know what to say, so she tried to catch his eye, hoping it would lead naturally to a conversation, but he didn't seem to notice.

She suddenly felt very unsure of herself. Why hadn't he said something to her when he'd arrived? Was it as she'd feared – that he thought it was a mistake? More uncertainty flooded through her. Had last night meant anything at all? Was he angry with her for it?

"Severus?" she said hesitantly and a felt something stab through her heart when he turned a cutting glare on her. The look in his eyes as he stared at her was one of pure resentment. This was her worst fear coming true. She'd finally had a taste of what his arms felt like around her, and he was wishing it had never happened. She had thought, hoped, that he'd want to keep moving forward, but... she felt her heart break as the last of her hopes threatened to die.

Still, she needed to hear it from him. She needed him to tell her that it had been a mistake. "What––what's wrong?" she asked, swallowing a thick lump in her throat and dreading the answer.

"Don't bother with the act, Miss Granger," he sneered back. "You know perfectly well what's wrong, and I want nothing to do with your games."

So that was it. He'd realized what she'd been up to, and now he wanted nothing to do with her. She should have known that trying to maneuver the situation would come back to bite her in the arse. But she'd really thought she had seen something in his eyes the night before other than lust. Why was he just dismissing it all?

"So, that's it?" she said, choking back tears as he turned away from her. "Just like that?"

"Just like what?" he scoffed into his coffee.

"After everything... and la–last night." She couldn't keep the tears from spilling now. "The way you h–held me?" She worked hard to keep her voice steady and failed.

Severus' eyes snapped to hers when he heard the break in her voice. He watched the tears running down her cheeks and realized he'd made a terrible mistake. He cursed himself for being so hasty in assuming she was choosing to ignore him. He'd thought she was reverting back to indifference and had acted defensively, and now she thought he rejecting her, that she meant nothing to him. He wasn't sure he could pinpoint what exactly she meant to him, but it certainly wasn't nothing.

She wore her heart in her eyes, and he could see what his callous words had done to her. He needed to fix this, but he didn't know what to say.

Hermione stood up quickly, thinking she'd already made enough of a scene as it was and that she'd rather not stick around and have her heart squashed even more. Moving as swiftly as she could with her head tilted down to hide her tears, she left the Great Hall and just kept walking, turning several random corners and finally breaking into a run only to have her arm caught by Severus.

"Hermione, wait. I didn't––Let me––"

She yanked her arm free and said, "Tell me something. Was it only lust to you?" Her voice was just loud enough for him to hear.

"Hermione..."

"I was just... a warm body." She closed her eyes.

"No, I––"

Her voice turned decidedly bitter as she went on, but she couldn't help it. Her disappointment was overwhelming. "Not that I blame you," she said with a humorless laugh. "Here's little Hermione with a crush on her ex-professor. You'd have been a fool not to take what I was offering."

"What? No!" he said hastily. "Hermione, no. Why would you think that?"

She looked at him incredulously. "You said it yourself. You figured out the game I've been playing with you. Surely you must have realized I was doing it because I wanted you to notice me."

Severus was speechless. That thought had never crossed his mind. He'd figured she'd just wanted to throw him off, see him vexed about something. "I had no idea."

She gave him another look that plainly told him she thought he was full of shite.

"Truly, I... I had no idea you felt that way about me."

"Right," she snorted. "As if there could have been any doubt in your mind after last night. Me throwing myself at you and shoving my tongue down your throat isn't exactly cryptic. Gods, I couldn't have been more obvious..." She let out a self-depreciative scoff. "I asked you to dance. I... I wrapped myself around you like a grindylow! You must have felt how much I wanted you, and you just let it happen. You left my door last night letting me believe something had changed between us; then it was 'business as usual' this morning. Why couldn't you have just told me last night? Why did you have to wait until now to tell me you want nothing to do with me?"

Well done, Severus. Now she thinks you used her, then didn't even bother to let her down softly. You absolute fuck-up.

"Listen to me. I didn't know how you felt about me. I thought you were just enjoying getting to me. I shouldn't have lashed out at you. It wasn't my intent to hurt you. I was just... out of my depth."

"What do you mean?"

"I arrived to find you with your back to me, talking to... Lupin. I thought you were purposely ignoring me again. I thought..." He chuckled at the irony of it. "I thought what you are thinking, that last night had just been a part of your game, and this morning was, as you put, 'business as usual.'"

Hermione stared hard at him, as if searching for the truth in his eyes, until he felt fidgety and spoke again. "I acted on impulse, and in the process, I gave you the wrong idea. I apologize for that; it's not what I wanted."

"What do you want?" she said quietly.

Severus gave her a small smile. "What I want is for us to start this conversation over, this time sans misunderstandings."

"And last night?"

Severus looked right her eyes. "Last night was... overpowering, and it was more than lust, at least in the beginning. Towards the end there..." He cleared his throat, remembering how he'd shoved her up against her own door and ground his cock into her stomach. "I came to breakfast this morning prepared to apologize for losing control like I did, but... if you truly feel about me the way you said, I would think that renders that particular apology unnecessary." He gave her a smirk that held more warmth than smugness.

Hermione flushed, embarrassed that she'd reacted so dramatically and mortified that she'd given herself away completely in the process, but if he noticed, he didn't mention it.

"Now that we understand one another, I – I want to ask you if you'd be willing to let me... court you." He cringed at the word, knowing it sounded old fashioned, but unable to think of something more eloquent. "This time without any pretext between us."

Hermione gave him a small but genuine smile. "Yes, I think I'd be quite willing."

Severus allowed a pleasant rush to flow through him at her smile and her words. He was in uncharted territory and had no idea what he was doing, but he was ready to take the plunge. However, he thought it would a good idea to warn her, just so his rear was covered in the likely event that he fucked up again.

"I feel I should warn you that I've never tried to have this type of relationship. Relationships in general, you've likely noticed, are not my forte. I've no doubt that I'll do something to... I think you understand what I'm telling you."

She nodded. "Severus, the biggest problems in relationships come from a lack of communication. If we are open and honest with each other, we can avoid misunderstandings. Neither of us are perfect, but if we just talk to each other, I think we could have a chance at something special."

Severus thought she was right.

"And," she continued a bit shyly, "about last night..." She looked him right in the eyes and said quietly, "I've never felt anything like that."

Severus felt elation flood through him. So she'd felt it, too. Knowing that he wasn't the only one feeling that their connection had been something incredible pleased him very much. "Nor I," he said sincerely and moved a bit closer to her. "I've been concerned that you might have been frightened been my intensity. I don't..." He scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I don't know where that came from."

She smirked. "I don't know where it came from either, but you're right; it was rather intense. But not in a bad way. It just took me by surprise, and you're not the only one who lost control."

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. The truth was he'd been just as surprised by how strongly he had reacted, so it was indeed fortunate that she wasn't put off by his passion. "Where do we go from here?" he asked.

"Well," she said, considering the question, "given how easy it was for both of us to overreact this morning and jump to conclusions, I'd say it's obvious that we don't know each other very well yet."

He nodded. That was certainly true. Perhaps if he'd known her better, he wouldn't have assumed she was ignoring him. He felt a bit dense that he'd been so far off about her motives and not just about what had happened this morning. He felt he should have realized that she was trying to get him to pay attention to her. Looking back on it now, he thought it should have been obvious. He had no idea why she'd wanted to get his attention, though. This was something he intended to find out.

"I think that we should take this, whatever this is –" she gestured between them " – slowly."

Slowly? Meaning what, that a repeat of last night was out of the question? "How slowly?" he asked.

"Well, my father's birthday is the Saturday after next... Would you like to meet my parents?"

That's taking it slowly? he thought with alarm. What if they didn't get along? What if her parents told her they thought she could do better? He'd have liked to secure her affections a little more before they made their relationship more public – assuming of course that the brief scene at breakfast hadn't given them away. "So soon?" he asked.

Hermione, seeing his hesitance, wondered if she shouldn't have brought it up. It was new after all. Maybe he thought that was too big a step. She'd just thought they should approach this like an honest relationship, and meeting her parents seemed to her be a step towards that honesty. "Oh, uh... I mean, if you don't want to, it's okay – I just thought that... you know, since you were going to... uh, court me, you might want to meet my family. I... Just forget I said anything. You can meet them another time."

Severus was silent for a minute, thinking. That was almost two weeks away, and maybe he was making a bigger deal of it in his mind than it was. It was true, after all, that meeting her parents was a logical step and would make the relationship feel more real. "I think, Hermione, that I would like to meet your parents."

"Oh," she said. "Then, you'll come with me?"

He nodded, and she smiled, relieved. "Until then," he said, "we still need to find a test subject, and I think it would be appropriate to spend some time together, getting acquainted."

"Right. By the way, I was thinking about that, about testing on a human, and I think I have the perfect subject. I have a friend who works in Chinese Arithmancy. In fact, a lot of the ideas I had for our potion were ones I remember discussing with him when we worked on our Arithmancy in Potions Making project in my second year at University. He speaks fluent Chinese, so we could test the potion on him and see what he has to say about out project. Would you like me to contact him?"

Severus considered this. It sounded like a good enough idea to him, and it would make any further searching for a subject unnecessary. "That sounds fine. Be sure to let him know I'll be compensating him for his time and contribution to the project."

Hermione nodded. "And about the 'getting acquainted' part?"

Severus smirked. "I might as well make this proper. Miss Granger, Hermione, would you care to have dinner with me tonight in my chambers?"

Hermione smiled. "Yes, I'd like that."

"Very well. Seven o' clock then."

"I'll be there. Have a good day, Severus." A bell rang to signal that classes would begin soon, and Hermione gave him a warm smile that lit up her eyes, then left.

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The day went by quickly enough. By lunchtime Hermione had written to her friend, Chen. She took a detour by the Owlery and sent off the letter, then made her way to the Great Hall for lunch. She was feeling slightly anxious about what she might find there. She didn't think the few words she'd said to Severus before she'd had the sense to leave had been loud enough to be heard by others, but she wasn't sure.

She wasn't really ready to deal with the opinions most people would likely feel the need to share, not while her relationship with Severus was still so new and delicate.

It turned out that luck was with her. The only person who had noticed anything amiss was Remus, and he quickly pulled her aside and whispered, "Is there something going on between you and Severus that I should know about?"

"You heard? Who else heard? What are they all saying?" she asked in alarm.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one," he assured her. "What's going on, Hermione? It sounded like... Did he––Did that bastard do som––"

She shook her head. "No. It was just a misunderstanding."

He looked at her suspiciously.

"Really," she said. "Remus, please don't say anything to anyone. This is all new, and I don't want any rumors circulating."

"So I was right," he said. "There is something going on."

"Yes," she said simply, "but it's no one else's business, so please, don't say anything."

After a long silence, he said, "All right. I won't. Just be careful, Hermione. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Hermione gave him a smile, but said nothing more. This was not a conversation she wanted to have.

By seven, she was more than ready to spend some time with Severus. She changed from her normal teaching robes to casual jeans and a comfortable sweater in a cream color. The walk to his quarters was filled with nervous excitement. She didn't know what to expect, but that was part of what made this so fantastic – she would finally be getting to see the man behind the master. She knocked on Severus' door, and he opened it quickly. He motioned for her to come in, and she found herself in a sitting room much like her own. A fire was going, heating the room and adding to the light.

She noticed that Severus was also dressed casually. His usual robes were gone, replaced by a pair of black trousers and a plain, white shirt with a row of buttons down the front. She thought the relaxed look was nice on him. He looked much more approachable, though he still looked a bit tense, sending her a glance, then looking away.

There was a silence for a moment, and it became clear to Hermione that he was waiting on her to make the first move, unsure of what she would want or allow. She caught his eye, and before she could lose her nerve, she moved forward and gave him a light kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Hi," she said with a grin. She felt him relax noticeably, and then he returned her kiss for a moment before pulling back to look into her eyes.

"I wasn't sure what you would prefer to eat, so I took the liberty of alerting the house-elves that we'd be dining in. We can decide what we'd like, and they'll bring it to us when we're ready."

"That sounds fine," she said with a smile. "I'm quite hungry. Anything would be good at this point."

"I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific than that, or the house-elves will bring something of everything."

She laughed. "In that case, I think I have an appetite for roast beef."

He nodded and muttered something. Moments later, two plates of roast beef and vegetables appeared on his coffee table along with a pitcher of water.

Soon, they were eating in companionable silence with the occasional random comment. When they were finished, Severus muttered something else, and the plates vanished. Hermione leaned back into the leather sofa and closed her eyes, pleasantly full.

Severus watched her, wondering what he should do now. He hadn't really planned past the actual eating part of the evening, not wanting to presume anything and truly not knowing what to expect. He found he was comfortable just to watch her. Though she looked as she usually did with her hair pulled back and her slightly loose-fitting clothing, his opinion of her beauty had been irrevocably altered by their dinner and all that followed the previous night. He'd seen her as a woman, seen the curves that were downplayed by the fit of her usual teaching robes, and now he'd never see her any other way, no matter what she was wearing.

Hermione open her eyes and saw that he was watching her. She smiled and shifted closer to him. "So, Severus, what happens now?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I was going to ask you the same thing."

She grinned. "Well, I'd say we should commence getting acquainted. That was the plan, right?"

"And how would you suggest we go about that, Hermione?"

"I have a few ideas," she said, tilting her head playfully.

"Oh?"

She nodded.

"Enlighten me."

"Well – " She moved closer. "We could try this..." She pressed her lips to his cheek and settled against him. "Or this..." She kissed the corner of his mouth again, this time bringing her hands up to stroke the base of his neck, threading her fingers through the hair there.

Severus felt his heart speeding up and gripped her arms, shifting to accommodate her better. He turned his head a bit and put his lips right against hers, encouraging her to kiss him properly.

"Or we could... talk."

"Talk?" he murmured against her mouth.

"Well, we did say she should be getting to know more about each other."

"Right," he said, letting his eyes flutter closed as she brushed her parted lips against his. He thought hazily that there was more than one way to get to know her. They could spend time getting comfortable with each other, like this, and other times finding out more about each other. There could be a balance between the two, right? As long as he didn't lose control like he had last night, he saw nothing wrong with enjoying being close to her.

With that thought, he shifted until he was reclining back against the arm of the sofa and pulled Hermione against him, wrapping his arms securely around her back. She relaxed into his body and sighed, letting her weight rest on him and opening her mouth to encourage him to explore.

She didn't want to move too fast, but this felt right. It wasn't hurried or hungry as it had been the night before. She didn't feel in danger of losing herself. This was just pleasurable, fulfilling. There was no need to turn it into something more demanding.

They went on that way for quite a while. Severus felt exhilarated by the lightness in his head and the warm feeling that was filling his chest. This closeness felt wonderful, and he loved the taste of her. She held nothing back from him, wanting him to feel what she was feeling.

Their leisurely exploration came to a close as Hermione pulled back with a sigh, pressing easy kisses to his lips before sliding down his body a bit and resting her head on his chest, her temple fitting into the hollow of his throat.

The feeling of connection remained as they both rested, the firelight flickering and casting dim shadows across the room. Severus felt Hermione's breathing deepen and realized she had fallen asleep. He reached up with one hand and stroked her hair, brushing it off her forehead so he could see her face.

Her eyes were closed, and her mouth was slightly parted. He brushed his thumb lightly across her cheek, thinking she looked beautiful and feeling that warmth grow in his chest as he realized that she trusted him enough to let go of consciousness in his presence.

He watched her for a long time before he drifted off himself, his last hazy thought being that she was his.

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Hermione woke up some hours later. She realized where she was and smiled, wishing she could stay that way all night, but she knew she needed to get back to her quarters. She sighed and finally lifted her head, wondering if she should wake Severus or not. He looked so peaceful asleep like that. She didn't want to disturb him, but she also didn't want to leave without letting him know she was going. She didn't want another repeat of breakfast, and who knew what he might assume if he woke up to find her gone without an explanation?

"Severus," she whispered, and his eyes fluttered open. He looked at her for a moment, and she grinned. "Hi."

"Mmmh," he muttered and closed his eyes again. "What time is it?"

"It's late. I need to get back to my rooms."

He nodded and muttered something else that she couldn't understand. "Right," he said finally, waking up a bit more. "I'll walk you."

"No need. I just didn't want you to wake up and wonder where I'd gone. Go back to sleep." She gave him a quick kiss and got up off the couch. She straightened her clothes and gave him a smile. "I'll see you in the morning."

He smiled back at her sleepily. "You sure you don't need me to walk you?"

She nodded and turned to go, saying softly, "Goodnight, Severus."

"Goodnight, Hermione," she heard him say as she left, closing the door quietly behind her.

SB's Notes: Hope it was worth the two day wait. ;-) No, seriously. I hope you didn't find Severus too soft. I tired to keep him as in character as possible considering I'm also trying to have him falling in love. I'd love to know what you're all thinking. The next chapter will be up in two days!

Thanks for reading!