Epilogue: Bright Blessings
The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice
Chapter 12 of 12
dracontiaBy golly, I tried. But I couldn't help myself. Here, in all its lack of glory: The Epilogue.
Disclaimer: Reggie, Rose, and Moto are mine. The rest I nicked when JKR wasn’t looking, and will have to return… eventually.
Epilogue: Bright Blessings
“I’m behaving myself,” Hermione said smugly as they left the doorstep of the new house at Godric’s Hollow.
“If you had been behaving yourself, you would have managed to avoid this invitation altogether. And rest assured, I will spend the rest of tonight working in my laboratory if you decide to be so absurd as to say, ‘That wasn’t so bad,’” Snape said. He didn’t bother to disguise his sarcasm any more than she had her smugness.
“I think Aster actually liked you,” she teased. “There must be something about you that appeals to young females in the Lovegood family.”
Snape gave her a glare that could have curdled milk. “I thought I was the one who liked inciting arguments to solicit make-up sex. Believe me, I could have happily gone the rest of my life without acquainting myself with Potter’s little foliage-themed brood; it’s quite unnecessary for you to relive the introduction all the way home.”
“All right, love.” Hermione laughed. “But will you at least agree with me that naming identical twins Aster and Azalea is cute to the point of inducing nausea?”
Snape humphed, but it was an amused ‘humph,’ and he knew his wife would recognize it as such. He would really rather put all thought of the little Potter brats out of his mind, but he couldn’t help thinking, Hermione and I could do much better than that.
Perhaps one day… if he could convince Hermione. Hadn’t Albus’ portrait all but said that they were destined to have a child anyway?
The thought crossed Hermione’s mind that she really would like to have a child while she was still young and while Severus wasn’t especially old by wizarding standards. Perhaps she could, sometime in the near future, talk him into just one.
When they reached the Apparation point, he pulled her close, looking deep into her eyes with a suggestive smile playing about his lips. Hermione clung to him tightly, answering desire sparkling in the chocolate depths of her eyes. Without a word exchanged, they Disapparated home—straight to the bedroom.
“Would you like to play our song?” she whispered. He flicked his wand at the phonograph, knowing that the recording was still there from the last time they played it. There was no need to discuss what they intended to do next.
Rose moved her workbench into the half of the garden accessible from her shop. The moon was full that night, and she didn’t want to waste a single ray; conditions were ideal for making divination rings.
Bless the old man who sold this building, and Mr. and Mrs. Snape, and anyone who made it possible to move Moore and Mraz to Tangent Alley, she thought. The garden alone was worth more than the old shop in its entirety. There was no substitute for moonlight unfiltered by glass windows.
She set out silver ingots, an array of moonstone cabochons, a handful of beryl orbs, and several onyx discs, to absorb the moonlight. Then, she removed the stones and metals charged on the last clear, moonlit night from their protective sacks and set to work.
Rose had only completed four rings (two with moonstones, one with a perfect crystal orb of clear beryl, and one with an oblong disc of onyx) when soft music began to drift from the upstairs windows. She listened for a moment, then smiled. Her landlord and landlady played that tune often enough that she’d picked up all the words. This was no song to make scrying rings by. She Summoned paper and parchment and began to design betrothal rings.
As the strains of the orchestra floated in the moonlight, she softly sang along…
‘When I fall in love
It will be forever
Or I’ll never fall in love.
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it’s begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun
When I give my heart
It will be completely
Or I’ll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that
You feel that way, too
Is when I fall in love
With you.’
Sometime the next afternoon, Regina Fletcher sensed an appointment being written into her Fairy Date Book. She hastily flipped several pages into the future, then whooped ecstatically at the new entry writing itself in.
“Moto! Moto, are you around? Get your arse over here!”
Motoyoshi trotted over obediently. Even though the silver threads around the waistband of his tutu proclaimed that he was now a Journeyman and no longer answerable to Reggie, he still kept up with the cases they had handled together. “Do you have news of Hermione-san and the Snarky One?”
“Yup. Kid number one is on the way,” Reggie said, happily pointing out the entry: ‘Celebrate Birth of Eileen Snape: February 16, 2008.’
“Though I am pleased to be a Journeyman, it saddens me that I will have no reason to visit the child since I am no longer your apprentice,” Moto said wistfully.
“You could always just show up with me and claim you ‘poofed’ the wrong way, like when we ended up in L.A.,” Reggie said with a snort of laughter.
“Oh, I brought us to Los Angeles intentionally. I remembered that you said you were born there, and I thought you might like to see it again,” Moto said.
Reggie stared at him, her little jaw dangling. Never mind that it had been so many years since she’d been there that she would have been hard-pressed to find her actual birthplace with locator spells… paws down, that was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her.
“Moto, I know for damned sure I never said this enough… but you were one hell of an Apprentice. No matter what they come up with next, it won’t compare to you.”
Moto bowed. He now managed to do so without spilling anything… most of the time. “Domo arigato, Reggie-san. And you were a most excellent Master.”
Over the course of the coming months, Reggie watched the name in the FDB change to ‘Athena Eileen Snape… Acantha Granger-Snape… Eileen Amanda Granger-Snape… Acantha Eileen Snape-Granger…’ Motoyoshi ultimately gave up the vigil, asking Reggie to please inform him when a final decision was reached.
As she noted the almost daily name (and sometimes hourly) changes near the end of the nine months, Reggie said lazily, “You know what, hinnys? You’ll bloody well have to work that part out for yourselves.”
FIN
Author’s Notes:
‘When I Fall In Love’ was written by Edward Heyman and Victor Young; if anyone other than Nat King Cole ever recorded it, I don’t need to know about it.
I’d like to say thank you, Jim Henson, wherever (or, if you believe in reincarnation, whatever) you are. From the time I was three years old, your brilliant creations deeply ingrained in my psyche the idea that fuzzy critter + adult vocabulary = comedy with a heart.
Thanks, as always, to my Dad—who hadn’t the faintest clue what constituted appropriate TV viewing or reading material for a young, impressionable child. I owe you half my DNA and most of my sense of humor, Dad. Though I picked up all the bad words on my own… and I think Mom might be to blame for some of the risqué elements of my humor.
And will everyone who reads this please join me in giving Tempest of Dreams a well-deserved round of applause?
We’re taking a wee break from Reggie’s case files on Severus and Hermione, but be on the lookout for ‘The Origin of the Fairy God-Jarvey’—a trip back in time to discover the Jarvey behind the snark and the laughs. Warning: in the long literary tradition of stories involving animals, the humor will be, at best, bittersweet. But it’s all about Reggie.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice
129 Reviews | 7.73/10 Average
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I laughed my ass of at the 'Pinky and the Brain' Pygmy Puff scene!! That is absolutely hilarious! I love your stories.....if I need a good laugh, I know just what to read! Thanks! :)
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
You're entirely welcome! Thanks so much for reviewing (your laughs make my day!)
Response from BulletTimeScully (Reviewer)
You're very welcome......and I'd also like to thank you for giving me the irresistable urge to swear in Spanish! One can never know too many foreign obscenities!
Another highly entertaining chapter! Moto is really starting to come into his own. Loved Severus' letter to Lucius. Always looking forward to more!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Thank you kindly (and Moto thanks you, too!)Chapter 10 is in the queue... the last but for the epilogue. Enjoy!
*squee*
For some mysterious reason, I never received notice of the updates, so I saw the hgss_digest and run here to read... and found 2 chapter to read. woohoo.
I don't know if it was your intention or not, but I thank you sending Lucius to me ;) Moto may have left him a bit away from home and smelling like manure, but I can tell you he managed to arrived... mellowed, but in good shape. :P
BTW, I love the chapters. And I don't want to know what Reggie and Narcissa can cook up together. Well... I wouldn't mind knowing... sounds too much like mischief not to know. ;)
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
LOL I'm glad you managed to retrieve him in once piece. Considering the old 'war criminals hiding in South America' cliche, and given the choice of sending him to Brazil or Argentina... there was no doubt where he would end up. gotta love those ladies that look good in silver...Thank you as always for reviewing--Chapter 10 is in the queue, and will be duly pimped on P_P.
Narcissa and Reggie having tea? It's one of the first signs of the Apocalypse. *lol*
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
*nods sagely* Yup. Thanks for the review!
Yay, another chapter. Thank you. I love Reggie, and Draco as a sub - he does seem the sort that would enjoy that particular role in the bedroom, and if Ginny's anything like her mother...nothing more needs to be said about their potential.
I love the way that Severus and Hermione react to each other, and totally putting the kibosh on any 'Detention' fantasies made me giggle.
I look forward eagerly to the next parts :) thank you for yet another laugh fest.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
LOL! I had to do in the detention fantasy thing. One of my delights in life is gently mocking fandom cliches. (Shut it, Draco. Did I give you permission to speak? That's better.)You're very welcome, and the next chapter is in the queue!
Lucius returns...and then he leaves again. Please tell me he doesn't get too friendly with the cows; mysterious potions are no excuse. Love the way your version of Narcissa is evolving; she's the sort of person who would probably do a great job running Vogue magazine if she were a Muggle. And I also just love the way she never uses Ginny's nickname -- it seems so much in tune with everything else about her!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
woohoo! Narcissa running Vogue... Yeah. She could do that. ;-)LOL I don't think there's anything strong enough to make Lucius feel, um, that 'well-disposed' towards cows!!Thanks for the review! :-)
Loved the t-shirts--esp the first one! Thanks for bringing a laugh (or ten) to my otherwise boring day!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
heh heh heh... we loved them, too. I steal hubby's 'nicer' one every chance I get. ;) Reggie and I live to redistribute the laughs. See you in Chapter 10--we promise, there's more than enought to go around.Thanks for the review!
I certainly won't complain from the proliferation of plot bunnies in your mind!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
LOL If only 'plot bunny rancher' was a paying profession! Thanks for reviewing. :-D
Fabulous chapter. There's so much going on! Besides the jokes and wordplay, I liked the Fairy Blessing--they never knew what hit them. Hopefully they won't get it all at once.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
wooo... three squirts at once? No, even I cannot conceive of that much chaos! LOLYet I promise, they still won't know what hit them. *wink* Thanks for the review!
All this mayhem around the organisation of a wedding sounds so real, and so funny, as long as one isn't implied in the plainning.I suspect the twins' motivation to imagine such a complicated plot to get Rita in her Animagus form has more to do with fun than efficiency.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Fun... efficiency. Fun... efficiency. Decisions, decisions. *wink*We of the Guild of Perpetual Chaos thank you for your review, and hope you will be pleased to remember our subsidiary disorganization, Anarchy Transport, for all your travel needs!
Splendid! I'm a little annoyed that Hermione and Severus can go to Las Vegas from Britain and I can't go there from Ohio. It just isn't right. But I'll not begrudge them the sun and the Elvis impersonators, not for a moment. Is there any way Wayne Newton can go to the wedding?
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Yeah, I'm still hoping Reggie can hook me up with a jarvey discount journey to Phoenix Rising... not looking like it, though...As for Wayne Newton... LOL Oh, golly, if I could have thought of a way to do it, I would have! Thanks as always for reviewing!
Oh dear.
Okay, now I have mopped up the sprayed drink and applied heat to the strained ribs, I can review.
There were just too many jokes in that chapter.
I love the way you have worked out the weddings, but I can't wait to see how Severus reacts to Las Vegas. Will he open a button or two?
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Ooops... I haven't been posting 'no drink warnings' lately, have I? *contrite expression*Buttons--to be opened in Chapter 9!Thanks kindly for the review, and I will try to remember warnings and a bottle of potion to deal with the pain next time around...
“Vegas, baby.” Oh my, how you keep track of all the plot twists Reggie dances through -- I am in awe! Hopefully this isn't your last Jarvey Outting. Mayhap she could help plan Jorge and Federico's weddings....
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Thank you! This isn't Reggie's last adventure, though I confess that the series is winding down. Just hang on to the little silver tail and enjoy the ride!
And what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas (and subsequently posted on Petulant Poetess) *grins* Lovely chapter!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Heh heh heh heh... let's see if this lot can keep it in Vegas. *wink*Thank you kindly as always for reviewing!
Brilliant! Still side-achingly funny. It's about time the "real" Hermione made an appearance.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
'Real' Hermione is back, and will be in residence throughout the remaining chapters. The potions for aching sides are still on the third shelf of the bathroom cabinet (I think...) Thanks for the review!
It's been a long day. I managed to hold in any hysterical laughter until 'Prince Snarking' had me in stitches. Thank you for that!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
You're very much welcome, and thank you for the review! (Comics, tailors, doctors... the only three professions on earth where you can legally put someone in stitches...)
Brilliant, once again! You pack these chapters with so much humour and clever dialogue. You're the best.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Thank you! One more chapter (hopefully at least as humorous as the last) coming right up!
So, should we wait for a spin-off about Mr Delectable Arse and his lustful partner?
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Hee hee... why wait? It's entirely possible they could get up to something within the next four chapters...Thanks for the review!
I have no idea how I got so far behind the times here, unless you are slipping chapters in with a "Do Not Notice" spell. I'm getting a Dramamine prescription for the rollercoaster ride, by the way. It's worse than being drunk, to read this.The non-makeup scene at Snape's house had me turning red with suppressed laughter. This is because I'm at the library, since my computer is still at the California Computer Spa run by Hewlett Packard.If you drag this out properly, you can throw in some Bill Murray Groundhog Day schtick. Not that I'd want to give someone as obviously vulnerable, if not impaired, as you any further means of mayhem.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
No 'do not notice' spells here--just a really fast moving queue! (At SH it scarcely budges, and here it speeds by so fast everything gets buried.) I hope it's better than being drunk... at least, I don't THINK reading mad stories causes hangovers. *Wonders if someone should be researching this.*You have no idea how you tempt me to sneak 'I've Got You, Babe' into the coming chapter. But, I will resist. For the sake of my offspring, it's best they don't confine me to a rubber room just yet. Thanks for the review!
I laughed a bit more than usual. I needed a good laugh or eight. Thanks! I loved "I could have been born female and been spared the need to learn Legilimency, he thought." Other LOLs: "I would prefer to deny any and all knowledge of all Thursdays for the foreseeable future." "For reasons beyond her understanding, humans usually found that objectionable." And Pip was splendid. Can't wait for more!
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Thanks very much, and I hope the next chapter proves worthy of the last! The wait will be over soon--next chapter is in the queue (along with the offspring of a wayward plot bunny that jumped me at the sink.)Happy reading!
The alliance of Reggie and the Weasley twins is a promise of mayhem of cataclismic importance.Candy fetishes: I'm still laughing with this one.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Thank you! I do believe mayhem and cataclysm are highly appropriate words to associate with Reggie and the twins. I hope Chapter 7 proves worthy of the combination--I had to cut off their chaos eventually, if we were ever to get to the wedding!
I love Reggie a bit more every chapter (if that is possible). The fact that you were able to write a Ñ in an English webpage is amasing (I've been known for using the same kind of vocabulary as Miss Fletcher when trying to post something with Spanish only characters in the Internet).
Reggie, Rico and Jorge working together. Should I run in fear or stay and watch the train-wreck? ;)
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
LOL! Well, it depends upon how you feel about train wrecks! I hope there is enough carnage to suit, though I have to warn you, Reggie is making sure the lads will be on their best behavior. REALLY sure. :)Reggie returns the love, and treasures the ~ that Tempest was able to provide! I don't have one in my character set, either! Thank you always for your kind reviews. :)
[wondering if I can type and giggle both-at-once]*bows* My vast appreciation for your ability to provide a bucketful of laughs using only a two-dimensional surface.Thanks for updating & enjoy your holidays. ~
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
It must be that improbability drive, bending space/time. *wink*Thank you very kindly for reviewing! I consider it a privilege to make a contribution to holiday cheer, any time of year! :-D
You see, that's the nice thing about being drunk, everybody looks good! Drunkness makes the world a better place.I really enjoyed this chapter, but I noticed something: Why men always have more fun than women?! I only hope that one day I will be chased out of a respectful club due to lewd behaviour.
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
*snerk!* I have to wonder if the men thought they were having more fun, especially in light of what happened next! If one of your aspirations is to get chased out of a respectable club for lewd behavior, then Reggie is definitely pleased to make your acquaintance. Thanks for the review!
perhaps the first thing she needed to do was find Britain.
*giggles madly*
Loved the chapter. The moment I saw it was up I had to read it. That means it's now 7:19AM and I'm still up reading...
Response from dracontia (Author of The Fairy God-Jarvey's Apprentice)
*snicker* Rita Skeeter is going to feel the pain in this one. You'll begin to see what I mean when chapter 6 gets out of the queue...Here's to reading so late it gets early! Thanks for the review!