Chapter 14 ? The Past Always Comes Back

This chapter has a slightly slashy scene, not graphic or detailed. If you don't want to read it, skip from where Hermione and Ginny enter the italicized Pensieve scene, and go to the part where Severus takes another dose of Polyjuice Potion.

All canon characters belong to JKR.

A huge thanks to June for all of her suggestions in this chapter.

Chapter 14 – The Past Always Comes Back

Dolohov had received Voldemort's permission to torment Samuel Higgenbottom, the minor Death Eater who had been making potions for the Dark Lord after Snape's death. He enjoyed beating the potions maker; in fact, Dolohov enjoyed torturing and killing anyone. He had almost killed Hermione – then just a schoolgirl – in the Department of Mysteries battle.

But right now, Antonin Dolohov was shaking. He'd always been afraid of Severus, and now the man had seemingly come back from the dead. The now very scared Death Eater wondered if it had been Severus all along as "Higgenbottom."

Severus kneed Dolohov in the scrotum, yet still held him by the throat and against the wall. The wandless Death Eater was now struggling for breath and in pain, but he could do little to fight back; his hands were scrabbling to try to pull Severus' hands from his throat.

"Surprised that I am here?" hissed Severus. "I take it you are. You realize of course that you really can't be allowed to leave here, don't you?"

Dolohov felt a warm liquid trickling down his leg and realized he'd just urinated all over himself.

Severus looked down and saw the large wet spot on the man's robes and smiled. He'd always known Dolohov to be a coward. "Due to the fact that we are in the Riddle home, I am afraid I will not be able cast the Killing Curse on your miserable self. You have left me with no other alternative than to come up with something a bit more... creative to rid the world of your presence."

Severus hit Dolohov in the jaw and allowed the man's now semi-conscious body to slide down the wall. He stepped back and crossed his arms. "Whatever will I do?"

~*~*~*~*~

At Hogwarts, Hermione and Ginny were in the middle of their search for the manual Severus had allowed Hermione to use for her class, when Hermione noticed something on the very top shelf of the bookcase she'd already looked through.

"Did you find it?" asked Ginny as she noticed her friend make a beeline towards the corner of the room.

"No, but I'm wondering what this is doing up here." Hermione used a stepladder and climbed up to retrieve the object that caught her attention. She brought it down and placed it on the table.

"Is that a Pensieve?" asked Ginny. The small thinly carved bowl appeared to have been made of alabaster. Upon looking inside they could see the telltale liquid swirls that told them they had indeed found a Pensieve.

Hermione and Ginny looked at each other.

"I didn't know Severus had a Pensieve," said Hermione. "I wonder why he has it all the way up there."

Ginny cocked her head. "Probably because his girlfriend is a curious Gryffindor."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "We trust each other, Ginny. If he told me he had one I would respect that. But..."

"But what? He's got one and he had it up there for a reason," argued Ginny. "It might not even hold his memories – maybe he's keeping it safe for someone else."

Hermione shook her head. "I know, but...we promised we would always be honest with each other. Why is this hidden away like that? Wouldn't you wonder?"

Ginny was silent. Truth be told, there were so many things about Lucius' past she wanted to know. If she had the opportunity to look through a Pensieve she would, if it helped her to better understand the man she was growing deep feelings for.

"Hermione, Severus has been a spy for years. He's seen atrocities. Maybe that's what he's got hidden away."

Hermione looked down at the bowl, then up at the shelf she'd taken it from.

"I know you're right, Ginny. But I've just got to see. Maybe if I know what he's gone through, what he's seen, I can understand him better."

Ginny sighed. "Well, if you're going to look, I will too."

They both nodded and looked into the bowl, allowing themselves to be taken into the memories now coming to life.

They found themselves standing in the corner of a bedroom. In front of them they saw two figures now becoming clearer. The figures were Severus and Lucius, but they both looked younger than they did now. Hermione and Ginny looked at one another and then began to watch the two men.

"I can't do this," said Lucius as he turned away from Severus and leaned his head against the cold stone wall.

"Your wife is pregnant, and we both know that if the Dark Lord ever found out about what we've been doing he would kill us both with no hesitation." Severus stood behind Lucius and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder.

Lucius turned, his eyes filled with tears.

"We have no choice, Lucius," whispered Severus as he caressed Lucius' cheek. "Do you think it's so easy for me to walk away from this? From you?"

Hermione's jaw dropped, and Ginny's eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. They both held on to each other's hands tightly.

"You have been my only comfort all of these years throughout this madness," Severus said softly.

Lucius leaned his forehead against Severus' and sighed.

"And you mine," Lucius said as he placed his hand on Severus' neck and pulled his head away slightly. "I love Narcissa, but...you know that I love..."

Severus closed his eyes and nodded. "I know, I know, don't say it. I feel the same way, but there is no use saying it."

Lucius nodded. "You are right. Voldemort despises the thought of any kind of same sex relations. We've both heard him say it before: 'Being gay is almost as bad as being a Muggle.' If he knew that any of his Death Eaters had been engaging in that kind of activity he would not hesitate to kill them, even us."

As Severus made to leave, Lucius grabbed him by the arm and spun him around.

"No, I can't leave it like this." He pulled Severus close to him and kissed his lips roughly.

Ginny wasn't sure if the gasp she'd heard came from her own mouth or from Hermione's. Both women continued to look on as the men in their lives kissed each other passionately.

Severus unhooked Lucius' cloak as well as his own. They both began to tear away at each other's clothing. For a time they were clawing at each other, kissing, biting, and scratching. When they were both wearing only their undergarments, Severus stopped and held Lucius back. They were both breathing heavily, and looking deeply into each other's eyes.

"No, not like this. I don't want to remember it like this," Severus said.

Lucius smiled sadly, and guided Severus to the bed.

Both men quietly climbed into the bed and lay next to each other, caressing one another and kissing each other. Their actions were not rushed; it was as if they were memorizing every second of what was happening.

"We shouldn't be here," said Ginny quietly, yet she made no effort to move.

"Look at them, Ginny. Look at how beautiful they are." Hermione knew that what she was witnessing was something no one was ever meant to see, but she couldn't turn away.

Ginny had never seen Lucius naked; he'd been nothing but an absolute gentleman during their time together. His face hadn't changed much in appearance over the years, and she couldn't help but wonder if his body still looked as he did now in front of her.

The friends watched as the Pensieve-Severus and Pensieve-Lucius took hold of each other's undergarments and slid them off.

"Oh my," said Ginny, as she saw both men's jutting erections.

"Goodness, Ginny. Lucius is just as...umm...talented as Severus." Hermione noticed that both men were quite well endowed. She knew Severus was a healthy eight, maybe nine inches, and seeing the looks of Lucius' own equipment, she guessed he was about the same.

They watched as both men took turns caressing and licking the other. Neither one seemed to ever dominate the other, both always seeming to surrender to the moment.

"Hermione, is Severus like that with you?" asked Ginny. She'd never thought that her former professor could be so gentle and sexy.

Hermione smiled. "Yes, he is." She saw Severus using Lucius' body much in the same way he used hers. She also noticed the way the blond wizard made Severus smile and moan with pleasure.

"You have quite a bit to look forward to yourself," said Hermione as she looked at Ginny. But she noticed her friend looking worried. Thinking they'd best get out now, Hermione took Ginny by the hand. Ginny looked to her, then suddenly they were both back in Severus' rooms at Hogwarts.

"Are you all right?" asked Hermione, now worried that Ginny might have been given too much of a shock. She knew that her friend had feelings for Lucius. She also knew Ginny's heart had been broken many times before, and she now wondered if seeing the newest man in her life in the arms of another was more than Ginny could bear.

Ginny smiled. "I'm fine. I should go." She walked towards the hallway that led back to Hermione's room.

Hermione came after her and stopped her before she reached the front door.

"Ginny, what we saw happened a long time ago, before they ever met us. And, well...I suspect that they still might feel close towards one another, but I don't think you have to worry about anything like that happening between them. After all, they're pursuing us now, not each other."

The redhead was silent as she reached out to hold onto the doorknob.

"Ginny," Hermione said as she placed her hand on her friend's wrist.

Ginny looked at her. "It's all right, Hermione. I've always felt there was something between them, from the way they look and talk to one another. Look at Severus the next time you mention Lucius; his eyes light up. It's the same way with Lucius."

Hermione knew just what Ginny was talking about. She'd suspected something herself, but the two men had known each other for years and she knew they had been close friends when they were younger.

"I know, I've noticed. But I also know that Severus loves me. And that same light I saw in his eyes in the Pensieve when he looked at Lucius, I see when he looks at me now. He doesn't love Lucius now the same way he loves me."

Ginny shook her head. "I don't doubt that Severus loves you."

"Are you bothered by the fact that Lucius had sex with another man? Would it have been easier to see Lucius have sex with another woman instead?"

"No, of course not, Hermione. It doesn't matter to me about his past lovers as long as he doesn't expect me to share him with anyone now."

"Are you jealous of Severus because he and Lucius spend time together?"

"No, I know Severus is committed to you. Still, I just wonder."

"What do you wonder, Ginny?" asked Hermione gently.

"I wonder if Lucius has any more love to give." Ginny opened the door and left. As she walked up out of the cold dungeons she wrapped her arms around herself. She knew deep down in her heart, now after having watched the two men in the Pensieve, that while their sexual relationship was a thing of the past, Lucius and Severus still had a deep love for each other. She also knew that Lucius had always loved Narcissa as well, even after they had stopped having sex. Sadly, she wondered if there was any room in Lucius' heart for her. How many lovers could a man love deeply and uniquely? And for how long? Ginny wanted a "forever" love, not just for a few months or years.

~*~*~*~*~*~

After taking another dose of Polyjuice Potion, Severus was readying himself to leave the Riddle home when he heard a knock on his door. It was Wormtail.

"Master says he will need his potion soon." Peter was still a young wizard, but he looked three days older than dirt. The years spent serving the Dark Lord – so closely on top of the guilt he began to feel several years ago for all he'd done against Harry's parents and even his own friends – were just too much for him.

"I have it ready." Severus-as-Higgenbottom took the potion from the table and handed it to the short and rotund wizard. He noticed Peter looking at the chair in the corner.

"I don't remember seeing that chair in here before." Peter was the one who often set up and cleaned the potions lab. He knew that there was only one stool in the room. He also knew every bit of furniture in the Riddle home, and this chair didn't look like anything he'd seen before. It had odd markings on it. As he approached the chair he noticed the wood grain seemed to have some sort of drawing on it, a face.

"Perhaps you forgot about it. It's not a very noteworthy or useful chair, but it's been here ever since I began working in this room," said Severus as the meek Higgenbottom.

Peter nodded; he knew that sometimes his memory failed him. It was more than likely he'd simply forgotten about the chair, what with all the important details he needed to remember. Knowing he needed to take the potion to Voldemort quickly, he decided to leave things be.

"Give me the potion. The Dark Lord will be finished washing himself soon. He will want this waiting for him. I must also get him some wood for his fire."

Severus smiled. "It is quite cold outside and this chair is of no use to me. Far better to use this to warm the Master's room." He waved his wand and the chair was thrown against the wall and broke easily.

Peter turned and began looking around the room.

"What is it?" asked Severus.

"Did you hear that?" said Peter as he felt his body shiver. "It sounded like..."

"Like what?" asked Severus, but he knew full well what Peter was talking about. He'd discreetly cast a Muffliato on Pettigrew, but that only filled the rat's ears with an unidentifiable buzzing, so that he couldn't understand what Dolohov was saying.

Peter laughed nervously. "It sounded like a man groaning in pain, a sort of muffled groan."

Severus picked up the scattered pieces of wood and placed them in Peter's arms.

"Nonsense, there is no one else here but you...and me." Severus coldly looked at the pieces of wood, one of which had an etching of an eye that seemed to be staring straight at him.

As Peter left, Severus took one final look around the lab. He picked up a set of robes he'd moved under the table, as well as the bamboo rod and a wand. Severus threw them all into the fire and watched them burn. He thought about the Muggles and wizards Dolohov had tortured, and Molly Weasley's two brothers who had been killed by Dolohov in the first war. They were now avenged.

Tonight, Severus would go home to Hermione and celebrate. After Wormtail finished putting the last of the pieces of broken "chair" into Voldemort's fire, there would be no trace left of him; no one would ever hear of Antonin Dolohov again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading.

I'd also like to thank harrypotterfan2005 for her idea regarding the pensieve. I had wanted to do a flashback scene between the men and her suggestion worked very well and allowed Hermione and Ginny to witness their past relationship.