Seeds of change
Chapter 9 of 21
HogwartsHoneyDisclaimer: Jo Rowling owns them. I just make them do naughty things!
A/N: This is where I begin to blur the lines of canon a bit, mainly for my own gratification and because I can! Mwaaa haa haa! It's also the chapter that my Nishles (Charmed3) INSISTED that I write, and because of her, it earned the NC-17 rating.
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For Cedric, January went by in a blur of classes and assignments. Thankfully, his project with Jamie and the Mandrakes was over, so that was one less aggravation, but Transfiguration and DADA were becoming more stressful with each passing week.
Professor McGonagall had set them a task as part of preparation for next year's NEWTs. Their project was to research and conjure an item of furniture. Whereas Cedric was more than up to task regarding Transfiguration, he first had to research the type of furniture he would conjure. Contrary to the beliefs of the younger students, conjuring an object wasn't as simple as Accio. Conjuring an object required a proper mental image of the item as well as a better-than-average knowledge of the incantation. McGonagall's project included a foot of parchment on the proper description of the item to be conjured as well as the spell used.
Cedric finally decided that he would conjure a bed. His other classmates were thinking along the lines of chairs or ottomans, and even Jamie had expressed an interest in barstools. Cedric merely smiled; his reasoning was perfectly clear to him, and he already had a clear mental image of the bed in question.
Cedric had dreamed of this particular bed since his infatuation with Harry had begun. A stately bed with strong horizontal lines and heavy, square based legs made of oak. The posters would be bevelled, rising from the solid square legs into a solid oak canopy. The headboard would be solid oak panelling also bevelled in simple but elegant square and rectangular shapes. The curtains would run along tracks hidden along the sides of the canopy and, when pulled would transform the bed into a private retreat.
He had perused several books in the library as he researched both spells for his Transfiguration work and spells for the task in the Black Lake. He was very proficient in warming charms and he knew that he wouldn't have any trouble there, but after many weeks of searching, he finally found a spell that he thought could solve the problem of breathing underwater.
The weekend before the Second Task, Cedric returned to the Prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor for another bath. He considered it to be his private sanctuary, a place where he could relax totally with his thoughts and not be disturbed. It was pretty much the only place to get some peace. Tonight he had different motives though, because he wanted to practice the Bubblehead charm he had found in the library. He ran the water until the tub was filled with very warm water and a thick head of bubbles, then he removed his clothes and entered gingerly. The water was slightly too hot and his naked flesh tingled in mild protest, but he soon acclimated and began to move around. After a couple minutes of enjoying the water and allowing the heat from the water to pervade his body, he muttered the incantation and plunged below the surface.
He had researched the spell and its expected results, but never thought that the effect would be so complete. Suddenly, he found that he couldn't feel the water against his face, and he opened his eyes to realize that his entire head and neck were encapsulated in a diaphanous membrane. Moreover, he was able to breathe, and the air was always clean and fresh. He wondered how the charm was able to refresh the air without an obvious intake and exhaust mechanism, but magic was just that: magic.
He remained under the water, swimming up and down the large bath for several minutes, before returning to the surface and removing the spell. He felt reasonably comfortable in his ability to perform the charm and could only hope that it would be enough for whatever awaited them in the murky depths of the Black Lake. Satisfied, he returned to the side of the tub and stretched out, bobbing slightly as he floated around and gazed at the ceiling.
His thoughts floated through his head like the thousands of bubbles in the bathtub, ebbing and flowing in and out of his consciousness. He recalled his date with Cho in Hogsmeade the previous weekend when she had dragged him into Madame Puddifoot's for tea. He secretly believed that she had put him on display by walking hand in hand with him through the brightly decorated and slightly confining tea shop, almost as though she was announcing their relationship to the world. Between that event and the Yule Ball, Cho Chang had subtly, but effectively, marked her territory. He had been preoccupied that day with thoughts of the upcoming second Task and had not been as attentive as he should have, but their time together was pleasant enough.
He was moderately troubled though, mainly because of Cho's obvious delight at their being a couple, but also by his nonchalance. He had struggled with his feelings since that Christmas night and his conversation with Harry following the Yule Ball, but he knew to himself that his longing and heart's desire lay firmly in the hands of the other Champion. His heart fluttered slightly at the memory and scattered images of Harry floated into his consciousness. He recalled his own condition the night he discovered the egg's secret in this very bath, and the memory caused his member to twitch slightly. He rolled the memory around in his mind and leaned his head back against the hard tile at the edge of the bath as he let the images overtake his thoughts.
Flashes of Harry and snippets of conversations bounded through his mind like a herd of gazelles that leaped and frolicked around him, drawing him in. He was immersed in the sensation of the water swirling around his body and his hand as he grasped his hardening cock, revelling in the simple touch and imagining it to be Harry's hand. Harry's hot hands on him; oh yes, the thought alone was enough to make him stiffen even more. He pictured Harry's face after the First Task, dirty, sweaty, triumphant, excited, and pumped high on adrenaline. The image only served to excite him further, and as he wrapped his hand more firmly around himself and squeezed, he felt the unmistakable jolts of ecstasy begin to surge through him. Cedric could almost see Harry in the tub with him, could almost feel him leaning against his body as he stroked Cedric's side, his thighs, the insides and outsides of his legs, his hand grazing lightly over his stomach. Cedric's lips parted slightly, as did Harry's, and they breathed together, at first deeply, inhaling each other, then a little more raggedly as the pace of his stroking increased. Cedric's groans mirrored the sensations that swirled into his body and into his mind. The anticipation was agonizing yet delicious at the same time, and Cedric didn't know whether he wanted his release, or more of this indescribably wonderful torture. As Harry licked his neck and breathed into his ear, stroking harder, Cedric decided that the torture was just fine, thank you.
He began to feel more pressure on his swollen member as Harry proceeded with his ministrations and rolled his thumb around the head of Cedric's penis, rubbing it along the tender ridge. Cedric shuddered as Harry's other hand cupped his balls, and he unconsciously spread his legs wider while his mind screamed with desire. His body was on fire in spite of the water surrounding them, and he wanted this boy, all of him, inside him at every moment in every cell of his thirsting, hungering, starving, lusting body. The motion of Harry's hand on his cock and the effect of the water as it sloshed dangerously between them increased the waves of sensation throughout Cedric's body. Jolts of electricity seemed to arc up and down his spine, the skin of his back and his nerves shivered and screamed with agonized pleasure. His mind gasped at the sensations, each one fuelling the others, until Cedric's body and mind were in an almost continuous loop of pleasure and desire and want and need, and his body quivered with pre-orgasmic rapture.
Harry's hand quickened its pace and he felt his own body's change in response. He breathed in gasps as his mind focused on the points of his pleasure, the sure grasp of his hand as the friction created its own wavelengths of excitement that travelled directly to all the pleasure centres of his mind and body. Suddenly, as though in concert with his own mind, Harry's hand started to pump even faster and he felt his own girth increase again; the quickening of his heartbeat foretold the funnelling of his stimulation into one swirling vortex in his groin. He felt the tremors as his abdomen tightened and the waves of lust, need, and want coursed through his body and down through Harry's hand. Suddenly, his entire body gave way to the crashing, thundering, shuddering climax and the mind blowing sensations as the rush of energy flowed out of him.
'Oh, yes! Harry!'
A ragged groan of pure pleasure dragged the words from his lips, coloured by every desire, every wish, and every dream he'd ever had of the young Gryffindor. Cedric rode the crest of that exquisite wave as it twisted and turned his body, surfing the pulses of pleasure until they subsided, slowly returning him to awareness. He lay there for a moment and breathed heavily as the shuddering spasms and electric shivers subsided. He was startled out of his reverie by a clattering sound behind him, a situation made worse by the sound of a cheerful female voice.
'Oh, hello, Harry,' the voice said airily, and Cedric's post-orgasmic glow rapidly dissipated as his eyes flew open and he looked around wildly.
Harry? What in the name of ...?
Time seemed to stand still as his horrified eyes took in the scene. The female voice belonged to a ghost who he could only assume was Moaning Myrtle. She lived in the plumbing system of Hogwarts, but he had never seen her before. His eyes also took in the white face of Harry Potter who looked as ghostlike as Myrtle, and certainly more horrified. Indescribably horrified. Cedric noticed Harry's Golden Egg lying some distance from the boy's feet, where it had apparently fallen and made the clattering sound. There was also a shimmering cloak that pooled around Harry's bare feet, and the only item of clothing he wore was a thin pair of pyjama bottoms that did nothing to hide his... erection! Cedric blinked, but his eyes were locked on Harry's groin.
With difficulty, he wrenched his gaze away and met Harry's eyes, whose green depths reflected shock and disbelief. Yes, but there was something else. Something unreachable, indefinable, and Cedric wondered, maybe even hoped... Could it be desire? He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Harry appeared to snap out of his shocked state and turned quickly, scooping up his cloak, before he disappeared through the door.
Blast!
Cedric dressed hurriedly, and returned to his dorm carrying Harry's egg, rather worked up about what the boy might have seen or heard. Not for the first time, he hated his duplicitous life and his inability to pluck up the courage to do anything about it. He also mentally berated himself for his lack of courage when, time after time, he backed away from trying to advance their interaction to another level. He was no Gryffindor, that was certain, and he laughed bitterly, for Triwizard Champions were supposed to be among the bravest and most worthy of the students. When he'd placed his name in the Goblet of Fire all those months ago, he could never have dreamed that the journey would have led him here.
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The following day Cedric was doing his rounds as Prefect when he decided to walk up to Gryffindor tower. He had concealed Harry's egg in his robes, and he sought to quieten his own nerves as he knocked on the portrait of the Fat Lady.
'Hello there! What brings such a handsome young Hufflepuff to the Gryffindor area, hmm?' the Fat Lady enquired playfully. She loved to flirt with him, and occasionally he had noticed that she was 'visiting' some of the other portraits closer to his own common room. Cedric smiled and walked past her portrait without answering her. He stopped just further down the corridor and turned, nervously pacing back and forth in front of an enormous tapestry of dancing trolls. His only thought was that he needed to give Harry his egg in a secret place. He heard a quiet click and noticed that a door swung open under the tapestry. When he opened it fully, he found a small room with a candle burning comfortingly. The room was large enough to fit into, but was barely larger than a broom cupboard.
At that moment, Harry walked out of the Gryffindor portrait hole and turned in Cedric's direction. Cedric's heart leapt as they came face to face, although Harry's expression of surprise and shock was clearly evident. Cedric cleared his throat, not knowing exactly how to begin.
'Hi, Harry. Can I see you for just a moment, in here?' he began, gesturing towards the open door of the small room.
Harry hesitated, and glanced in the direction of Cedric's outstretched hand. Cedric could see Harry's doubt and, considering what he'd seen the night before, Cedric could understand his hesitancy.
'Come on, Harry, it's nothing like that.'
Harry still looked sceptical.
'Look, I've got your egg, see, I came by to give it back...'
Cedric's ears heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming down the corridor. Without thinking, he pushed Harry through the door into the room and closed the door behind them.
He turned to look at Harry, who stood against the far wall of the room. Slightly breathless from his quick spurt, Cedric apologised for the roughness of his actions and explained to a shaken Harry that they certainly couldn't be seen together in the darkened halls of the Castle. Rumours of collusion between the rivals would surely run rampant amongst the student body.
'Just imagine if anyone had seen me handing you your egg, Harry. Can you imagine the questions?' Cedric was beginning to feel exasperated, but then Harry seemed to relax and accept Cedric's reasoning.
'Yeah, I see your point.'
A silence fell between them, heavy and oppressive. They both glanced furtively around and Cedric felt the closeness of the walls as they seemed to lean in, almost eavesdropping on their conversation. He also felt the unusually strong aura that Harry gave off but, as usual, he wasn't able to make any clear sense of it. His heart thundered and he felt that he should at least try to explain his actions of the previous night, but didn't really know how to begin.
'Harry, look, about last night...'
'Um, Cedric, about yesterday...'
They both laughed, embarrassed, and Cedric began again.
'I'm sorry that you saw... well, what you saw.'
'Well, I didn't expect to see anyone there at that hour, and certainly not you.'
Harry's voice was low and quiet as he averted his eyes and blushed. Even in the dim light of the room, Cedric could see the heightened colour on the boy's face, and the sound of Harry's voice made him shiver, a delicious ripple of desire that melted his self-control.
'Neither did I, Harry. Really, I had no idea you even used that bathroom.'
They looked at each other for a long while as everything seemed to fade around them. Their breathing was noticeably louder, and Harry took a slow, cautious step towards Cedric. The taller boy swallowed nervously, but stood his ground as Harry's aura fluttered against him. Cedric was almost sure that the combination produced a faint and harmonious humming sound, or was that just in his mind? He casually wondered whether he was actually going insane, and why every brain cell, every nerve ending and every pulse point was acutely focused on the magic of the boy in front of him.
Harry moved closer and Cedric still made no attempt to move away. He and Harry stood in the midst of the aura and Cedric felt an unbelievable vibration in the very air surrounding them, as though they stood within a force field of their own making. The frantic swirling of colours that was Harry Potter's aura began to decrease in their fervour, and the Gryffindor appeared to be as profoundly affected as he was. Cedric could almost discern patterns in the waves now, nearly distinct colours, and he gazed into the younger boy's eyes. Windows to the soul a silly Muggle saying, but boy, was that true tonight. Those eyes... thought Cedric, and he was lost again as waves of joy and desire pushed him to surrender, and surrender he did, helpless against the tide.
'Cedric...'
Harry's voice was no more than a whisper, and Cedric shivered as he felt the light touch of Harry's hand on his arm. He seemed as unsteady in his speech as Cedric felt on his own legs, and they were standing mere inches apart, encircled in waves of light and magic. After what seemed like an eternity, the spinning aura stopped, and Cedric could clearly see vibrant hues of blue and green, red and gold in the space around them. Cedric felt an unbelievable sense of happiness, of rightness, and he gasped as he felt Harry's grip tighten. Suddenly the moment was lost. Cedric shook his head slightly to ground his thoughts, but it had not escaped his notice that his skin tingled where Harry's hand still remained on his upper arm. The silence stretched between them again, and Harry moved his hand away as though it was an afterthought. Cedric's skin lamented the loss, and as Harry ran his hand through his hair nervously, Cedric covered his disquiet by fumbling in his robes as he wondered just how much their moment had affected the younger boy.
'Here's your egg, Harry.'
'Oh, right. Thanks.'
He handed Harry the egg and their hands touched...
Cedric had a blinding image of him kissing Harry. Harry's neck, throat, chin, lips, leaning into his body and breathing in his scent, kissing him so thoroughly that there could be no question of his intent.
'Cedric.'
Harry groaned, the sound deep in his throat as his hands clawed through Cedric's hair, and the raw sexuality of his voice made Cedric almost explode with his own desire...
Cedric turned, sweating profusely beneath his robes. His hands shook as he cautiously opened the door and rapidly scanned the corridors, but heard no footsteps or other signs of movement. He turned and nodded briefly to Harry whose eyes gleamed even in the dim lights of the room, then stepped out of the door and hastened down the stairs. He was both exhilarated by the encounter and mortified by his own thoughts, as he tried to hide the evidence of their manifestation on his body.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Wizards and Champions
68 Reviews | 6.87/10 Average
Wonderful beginning. I can't wait to see where you take them.
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Thanks! I hope you enjoy their journey.~HH
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Thanks! I hope you enjoy their journey.~HH
Cedric's role in the books was always a tear-jerker, but developing a story like this makes it even more intense. Good plot idea, and well written!
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Thanks, and I'm happy you actually read the last chapter. I always wondered what Cedric might have been like if JKR had expanded his character even a little bit, so that the readers would have an even greater sense of loss.
Just so you know, I cried like an ass every time I wrote a piece of the last chapter, every time I edited it, and every time I posted it at an archive. ~H
Yes! That was satisfying! I don't want to read the next chapter but I will anyway...
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
*grins*
Oh my god, I am already devastated for poor Cedric....nothing like knowing that the worst horrors imaginable are approaching....I'm hoping that Cedric and Harry at least get a special moment before going into the maze- that they at least kiss.
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
The muse was particularly horrible in these chapters, and although I kept screaming "Kiss" "sex" "more" she was adamant.
Bossy thing, the muse.Thanks for reading! ~H
Seems to have potential for a great story-I look forward to reading more =)
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Thanks! I hope you enjoy it. ~H
Cedric's going to die in the next chapter, isn't he?
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
La la la la lalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........
Thanks for the review!
Uh oh Cedders, you need to watch out! Something wicked this way comes!
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
*nods*
Oh yes, it does! Thanks for reading, and Chapter 19 is almost ready for the betas.
~H
Eau PIDGELING!The boys... I love them so.. .can't we just keep them? Can't we????We are so Mary-Sue'd... I'm breathless with anticipation for your further chapters.
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
LOL Mary-Sue'd and proud!
Thank yew, Midgeling!
wow.... he's figured out old dumbledore already! i hope you don't really kill him! i like cedders!
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Dumbledore might have let himself slip a little too much, and everybody underestimates the Hufflepuffs! I love my Cedders too ;o) Thanks, HH
Another wonderful chapter! I loved their interaction when they were flying, and I'm getting a little weepy now because I know it will all end soon!Do you think you might change this into an AU fic where Cedric lives? I can bribe you! *begs*
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Thanks! I loved the flying scene myself - I felt that it was a real bonding time for them.
*grins* One can never tell where the muse will take me and I'm always open to bribes! Chocolate-covered Harry *cough*Equus*cough*, or Cedric, or Severus, come to think of it. Yes, those are all good bribes
just read the whole thing! it's awesome! poor jealou cedders....
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Woah, the whole thing? Hope you don't have a headache! Thanks for that and I hope you enjoy the rest of it!
"the Boy Who Mattered Most." - RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRhhhrrrr!!!
"Merlin, he's a living, breathing wet dream!" - Merlin! He IS!
"...he felt the thrum as their magic met, clashed and, finally, harmonised." - SUCH a beautiful image, mouffling!
Heh! Harry's such a lil bad-ass!
Eau, MISTY!
"Your cousins Anne-Marie and Joan..." - *WETS self!!!!*
*laughter... laughter and more laughter!*
I think this is my favourite chapter, peaupette... I'm not shore of course... but it just FEELS thet way!
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
LOL. It's been SEAU long in the making, Midgen, eye kneau! and yes, here we have young Harry, all het up by that beautiful Hufflepuff and not being able to *do* anything about it because Cedric's getting all 'ethical' on his ass! I mean, REALLY!!! ;O)
I must say that this story is coming along nicely. I cant wait to read more about it! Love the way you stuck to the original story but add your on twists. Please up date soon!
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Thanks for your review! I enjoyed the plot of The Goblet of Fire because I found that it was so involved, with so many new and different characters! Am working on the storyline and hope to have the next chapter up soon! HH
Yes! *pumps fist in air* You have no idea how eager I've been for the new chapter! And it's finally here! Yay! It was well worth the wait. The battle scene in the forest was so well written that I felt as if I was actually there.
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Wow! What a review! Thanks for that, and I'm thrilled that the battle scene works! I caught my a** trying to get it to 'sound' like how it looked in my mind! HH
I just had an epiphany ... and it made me so sad. I realized (while I was hanging up clothing in my closet, of all places!) that Cedric was a 'real' person, which is what you've been getting at in this story all along. Cedric was real and he had friends who loved him and he had a life ... and he died. And it just struck me and made me really sad.
The "battle" scene was beautifully written. I loved it. So captivating; you've really done your research well (the jinxes, hexes, etc.) and made everything very believable. Well done. :)
So ... Wow, this story is really marvelous. Thank you for writing it! :)
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Scary thing - I just realized that you're right about Cedric being a 'real' person! I always wondered what he was like, who his friends were and whether Rowling put much thought into his life.
I had the battle scene vividly in my mind, yet somehow it was particularly hard to write/coordinate! All snaps go to my fantabulous beta, JaneAverage! She made my mish-mash of jinxes,hexes,wrong incantations into something that really rocked!
Thanks for your review, I'm so happy that you enjoy the story and appreciate your taking the time to review!
HH
I have been waiting SO LONG for an update! When I saw it in the Newly Submitted list, I literally jumped up and down and squealed!I cannot tell you how much I ADORE this story! I hope the next chapter is just as satisfying as this one!
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
LOL. wow, I'm gratified to know that you're getting such a kick out of my ficlet.I'm working out some details with my beta on Chapter 12 and I hope to have it in her capable hands by the end of next week. Fingers & toes crossed, and thanks for reading! HH
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I LOVE your Patronus class! I can just see the rest of the class saying "CUDDERS MUNT, boy!"
Poor Diggs, having to be with the couples when all he wants is Harry... *sighs wistfully*
VERY clever that you put in the trip up the mountain with Snuffles, the exchange between him and the twins/Lee.
*DIES* - "Oh, do that again."
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
LOL. Cudders munt indeed, poppet!
You remember our days of 'do that again' don'tcha!? I agree that I've been unfair to our Cedders in Puddifoot's with all the couples... *bad muse* I caught my *arse* with that whole Snuffles/Ced waiting timeline thing... am happy that it's come off okay! Hugs, HH
The Patronus Charm was very effective, wasn't it? Marvelously written! Just what exactly is an African Oryx? Is it a buffalo or gazelle-like creature? I am too lazy to look it up on the internet and I can't quite recall what it is right now...
Oh, yes! I loved this line, "She had still been friendly, but she was distant, and he could see the hurt in her eyes; could feel her loss without even trying to sense it."
It reminds me of another story I read (can't remember what it was) in which the author had written, "No girl wants to be the one who turned her boyfriend gay." Hee! That's what I thought of when I read the above.
This is very well-written and I look forward to an update. I hope your move went well. And there's just one little bit of con. crit.
*Ahem!* You use a lot of "alrights" and I remarked on that in an earlier chapter. However, I see them here, too, hee! So... if you wanted to change them to 'all right', that's fine. If not, that's great, too, because a lot of writers use 'alright,' although--grammatically--it isn't quite correct.
Again, looking forward to reading more. Cheers!
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
African Oryx . I think they're beautiful creatures, even though this particular photo isn't the most graceful one I've ever seen.
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m89/HogwartsHoney/AfricanOryx-cedders.jpg
HH
Well, Cho's not a Ravenclaw for nothing! She's a smart cookie! :P
Great job on the Second Task. Harry showed up right on cue ... after all the others! I suppose he'd just been woken up by Dobby and given the Gillyweed.
Lovely job and I knew that Jamie would understand ... he's the understanding type.
Reading on!
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Yep, that Cho sharp all right! I try to weave my story in and out of canon. I hope it makes it more plausible that way instead of being waaaaaaaay out, y'know? Jamie is my prince!!! I love that boy!! He IS the understanding type and very mellow, but , like all my Hufflepuffs, he's more than he seems.... ! *cough*
Response from Celestial Melody (Reviewer)
Ooh, really? I can't wait to find out about this unseen side of Jamie. :)
~Julia~
Wow. That was an intense chapter and I was shocked that Harry was in the bathroom with Cedric! I had to reread it to make sure that I'd read it correctly the first time.
This story is getting very complicated. The triangle is going to have a bit of an upset when Cho finds out. Reading on...
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Poor boy - he certainly didn't expect to walk in on THAT kind of thing!! LOL HH
Ooooh, very nice. The conversation between Cedric and Harry was mesmerizing and I can't wait to read more, so just one itty-bitty bit of con crit.
"who Cedric belatedly realized was Hermione Granger."
Perhaps it should be "who, Cedric belatedly realized, was Hermione Granger." Offset that statement *points up* with commas.
I'm truly enjoying this story and reading on, leaving a short review, because I can't wait! :)
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Yes, poor Cedric. The mention of the Firebolt was almost his undoing!! ;o) HH
Beautiful! This is my favorite chapter so far. I loved the capricious nature of the mermaid. Good job on the gifts at the end, too. :)
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
*grins* I enjoyed this chapter too, and the mermaid was fun to write. HH
Hee! Fantastic detail about Hannah; I applaud her for her intelligence! They do say that Hufflepuffs are well-rounded in everything.
Marvelous job on writing the First Task. We finally find out what happens to Cedric during that task! Great job; I'm truly enjoying this story.
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
'Puffers' are too often overlooked y'know! They may be the gentle souls of the bunch, but I think they have HUGE potential and a lot to offer the school!
Thanks for your reviews. That first task was a joy to write, although stressful in its own right!
HH
The first thing I thought of after I read the first few paragraphs was, in response to Amos' input, "Ooh, I bet he'll be sorry after the tournie is over!"
This story has really captured my attention and the only other slash I've read that I liked was one about Harry/Draco. Good job! :)
Hee! I laughed when I read this, "uncertain feelings." It's often 'certain' feelings, but of course Cedric doesn't understand his! :)
Great detail on the badges.
Um... should this be a question? "What could that… witch … have said or done that would have upset Harry this way."
"have said or done that would have upset Harry this way?"
And Cedric placed his hand on Harry's thigh! *gasp* This is getting very interesting! :)
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
Our poor Ced. Things are conspiring against him, not least of which his hormones and a determined author with an extremely naughty muse!! ;o) I'm happy that you're enjoying it.
Ced didn't mean his hand placement to be in a sexual way, more of in a supportive way, 'cause... let's face it, he's worked up also about the entire Tournament. He's a caring and sympathetic being...
HH
I enjoyed reading about Lee ... he has always been a favorite character of mine, :), and I appreciate that you've included him in the story.
A bit of a constru. crit. that I found in the... oh, I am NOT about to count the paragraphs, :P, but here it is anyway: "'Hey, listen, it’s not about that, alright?’ he growled."
Often, authors use 'alright' in their stories, however, the correct way to use this term is 'all ____ right", with a space in between the 'all' and the 'right.' This is because 'right' corresponds with 'wrong' and you wouldn't say 'alwrong,' would you?
Just a bit there... and "...scarlet-haired Gryffindors." I assume you're referring to the Weasley clan, although they don't really have "scarlett hair," do they? It's more of a carrot color, whereas robed Gryffindors would definitely be scarlet.
I am really enjoying your story, it's marvelously written and I can't wait to see how the "Cho Chang conflict" works out. *bounces up and down excitedly* :)
~Julia~
Response from HogwartsHoney (Author of Wizards and Champions)
*nods* Yep, I was in two minds about the 'alright' vs 'all right' thing, so have changed it. thx again, it's always good to have a fresh pair of eyes picking up what my beta and I have missed! Also changed the hair colour! LOL
I love Lee, he's a wonderful addition to the twins' lunacy and he's very important in his own right. Thanks for reading! HH