Where The World Spins
Chapter 11 of 13
neelix‘I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.’
~ Daphne Rae ~
Severus
This has to be the most foolish thing I have ever done.
When I say this to Hermione, she laughs and reminds me that I had once chosen to take the Dark Mark, which sort of puts things in perspective. I remain quiet while she straightens my collar and brushes imaginary Kneazle-hair from my jacket.
‘You look really handsome,’ she says, overly-brightly in my opinion.
‘This from a confirmed lesbian. I’m heartened.’
I turn to check myself in the mirror. I last wore this suit for Happy’s naming ceremony, charcoal grey to differentiate from my teaching persona. I’m wearing it now for similar reasons, because although I have moved on, the age gap between Harry and me feels immense. I choose not to say this out loud, because I know Hermione will point out that the same gap exists between us, too. It’s not the same.
‘Harry will fall at your feet,’ she says softly.
‘You say that as if it’s a good thing.’ I run my fingers through the lengths of my hair and toy with the idea of changing my mind yet again.
‘Well, you wouldn’t be going if you didn’t want something to happen, Severus.’ She takes my hand and turns me to face her earnest eyes. ‘It’s going to be fine. He still loves you, so relax and enjoy it.’
‘Romantic clap-trap,’ I mutter, but I cannot help the surge of excitement at her words.
‘Nonsense. You deserve to be happy, and Harry does, too.’
‘You have convinced yourself he will find his happiness with me, Hermione. You could both be disappointed.’
‘Do you love him, Severus?’
This is the question, isn’t it? The one I have avoided, the one we’ve tip-toed around, and the one I didn’t allow myself to think about. I pushed him away instead, not allowing myself to have even a glimmer of a chance to be fulfilled and happy in such a way. It had been so often denied to me in the past, I couldn’t believe it was truly mine for the taking then. And now…
‘Yes,’ I whisper finally.
‘Then you won’t allow yourself to disappoint him, will you?’ She kisses my cheek lightly, and I see the unshed tears in her eyes.
‘You are sure you want this? It will change things.’ I look at her closely. She was never able to hide her inner-most feelings from me. She smiles, and then laughs.
‘Severus, you are ridiculous. I want you to be happy. We will all be fine, whatever happens. Now go. You’ve kept him waiting long enough.’
I hug her on impulse. She has given me more than I would ever have hoped, and now, she is giving me a second chance. I owe her everything.
***
Harry
In my mind, I’ve played scenes like this over and over again. Severus, in my house. Sitting at my table, or with his long legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles, his glasses perched on his nose as he reads the Daily Prophet in front of the fire. Or better still, asleep in my bed, his hair mussed from sleep, his long, tapered feet poking out from under the duvet.
The reality is far more intense than my imaginings. The house feels smaller with him in it, because no matter where I go, his presence fills every empty space. He seems tall, even though I know I’m not much shorter than him now. I take his overcoat and hang it on the hook by the kitchen door and try to think of something intelligent to say. It’s hard to get the words out when I look at him. I’ve never seen him look so bloody edible in my life, and my mouth goes dry. He’s made an effort, that’s for sure. The suit is elegant, the colour forgiving, but it’s the open collar of his shirt that grabs my attention, the flash of pale, smooth skin at his throat just slightly coloured by the scar of Nagini’s bite. I feel an urge to lick the exposed flesh, and my pulse starts to race even faster.
He’s smirking at me, and suddenly I’m back in the hallway, reality intruding on my daydream like a cold shower.
‘I’m being an idiot, sorry. Drink?’ I walk into the kitchen and pour two large measures of Jameson’s.
‘What is this?’ he says, sniffing the amber liquid before risking a taste.
‘Irish Whisky. Not as hot as Firewhisky, but smooth, warm and just as delicious. Try it,’ I say, trying to stay chirpy and ignoring the fact that all I want to do is kiss him.
He tastes a long sip, and I’m jealous that he’s touching the glass with his smooth, warm lips and not me. He darts the tip of his tongue out briefly, to catch the remnants of taste that remain, and I bite back the involuntary moan in my throat.
‘Not bad,’ he says. ‘You have good taste.’
‘I like to think so.’ I look into his eyes, and he as he smiles I feel myself relax.
He’s here. That means something. I feel suddenly brave and take a step towards him. I had toyed with the idea of letting Severus make the first move, but sod that. He looks far too delicious to avoid any longer. He doesn’t move, but I see a flash of unease cross his face briefly. I remember Hermione’s words clearly: he couldn’t bear being hurt again.
‘I promise I will never purposely hurt you, Severus,’ I say firmly. He closes his eyes so I can’t read him, something I remember from before.
‘Don’t,’ I say. ‘You have to look at me, or you won’t believe me.’
His eyes spring open, wary but bright, and I lift my hand, threading my fingers through his inky black hair and cupping his face with my hand. He sighs.
‘Harry…’ His voice is low, almost a whisper, and as our eyes meet I can’t help but smile as he puts his glass on the table without looking.
We move together like we have been doing this for years, our mouths slightly open as our lips meet. He tastes so much better than my memory told me, his tongue probing gently as he cups my face with his warm, slim hands. God… I have wanted this for so long. I can feel his firm body pressing closer to mine, and my cock twitches in appreciation. I slide my palm inside his jacket, and hear his soft groan as my fingertips brush his erect nipple through the fabric of his shirt. He deepens the kiss and pushes me back against the wall, and suddenly I realise he has taken control. Oh, God… His hands are sliding down my body, and he’s cupping my arse now, flexing his fingers firmly as his tongue thrusts into my mouth. Delicious, firm, perfect… Oh, so perfect.
I want to stay right here for the rest of my life, but I can hear a buzzing sound beyond our moans. Fuck it. I pull away reluctantly, lips hot and tingling. His eyes burn into me as he rests his forehead against mine.
‘Much as I would love to carry on, that was the cooker timer. Let’s eat.’ I say quietly.
‘That’s what I was hoping for,’ he says. I feel the laughter before it breaks, and he chuckles deeply, pulling me to him warmly. I inhale him.
It feels like home.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Making Happy
80 Reviews | 6.75/10 Average
So good to read this again.
Seriously lovely.
Yay for happy endings! You have done a fantastic job with this, Neelix. Really, it was beautiful from start to finish. I think this ended perfectly where it did, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be thrilled to see little glimpses of the future here and there. I like the conversation between mother and daughter on the train. It would be totally unrealistic if Harriet didn't have some reservations about how her peers would accept this unconventional family. It isn't the norm, and kids are cruel. Still, you make the point that different is not equivalent to bad. She just has extra people to love her is all. Regardless of her nerves about what people will think, I have no doubt that she knows deep down how very special she is and how very much she is loved.I don't think she will get too much grief about her parentage. Having three of the most instrumental folks in wizarding history as your family has got to count for something, right?I really, really love Harry's confidence in their relationship. He could feel nervous due to lack of verbal confirmation on Severus' part, and yet he seems to just know that this is right and that it will work between them for always.I hope the writing of this tale lifted your spirits a bit. I know reading it did for me. Thanks so much for sharing such a great story!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
thank you so much for your positive response to this. I'm really pleased with the way it was recieved, and yes, I did really get a boost from wiritng it!There will be new one-shots intermittently I think, firstly from Severus' POV. I'm still off work but I hope to go back soon . I miss the craic, to be honest!
So glad to see them together at the end. I really liked your story telling from each person's point of view. As someone else said, Snape's point of view on the bonding would be lovely to see.Well done.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank yu so much for reading. I intend to do a few one-shots to go with this, i think.
This was fantastic. Although not my usual pairing preference, the characterizations were outstanding. I agree with the request for a sequel. Very interesting to see how they balance the alternative family and how the kids handle it. It is always fun to see the true potential of a kid with parents such as Hermione and Severus too! Thanks for writing!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you so much - I seem to have convinced a few people about the pairing!
Well now everything is sorted and in its proper space. Nicely done you!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thankyou! I had a lot of fun with this x
Well, my dear, this simply BEGS for a sequel !! Snarry is generally not my thing so much, but this tale was written with such sensitivity and plausability of character that I was ensnared. Fine work !!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Wow. Thank you for that! perhaps I will do some one-shots to go along with this. A sequel would need further plot, and not their bonded there's no where to go!
AWWWWWWWWWWW! This is perfect ending. Maybe one day you'll write about Severus' feelings for this evening. I would have loved to see his face when he discovered the box in his plate. And his emotions while Harry paased the ring on his fingers should be interesting to know. Please?
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I might do a special one-shot just for you from Severus POV :) Thanks for reading xx
Response from snitchette (Reviewer)
*squeeeee* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
Awww ... this was nice. One thing that I have really enjoyed about this story is that there is conflict at the proper times, but it is quickly resolved. Not that I don't enjoy long drawn out angst and such, but that is not what this story is ultimately about. I think the cat is out of the bag as far as any secrets between them, so all that is left to do is pursue this relationship. Something that I needed to convince me that this pairing can work is a mature Harry. I'm ok with SS/HG where she is young, but for some reason it is hard for me to stomach a young, inexperienced, immature Harry with Snape. No worries with this version of Harry; he is perfect.Hermione is going to be absolutely delighted by this latest development. Happy probably will be as well. I don't see that there is anywhere to go now, except towards a happy ending -- no pun intended :)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you honey - sorry I'm so late in replying, I've been off radar for a little while.Thanks for reading x
Well, from Harry's perspective, Hermione has given him a lot to think about. From my perspective, what the hell is he waiting for? Go to Severus now and tell him how you feel. Geez, men.I love the interaction between Severus and Happy. I can see why he was worried about Hermione taking her away as he clearly loves her dearly.Severus and Hermione have taken an awkward situation and made it even worse in the interest of protecting Harry and Happy. I hope they can make things right for all parties involved.I will be interested to know how Happy came about. I thought in the beginning that Harry and Severus were a couple and wanted a child and Hermione volunteered to help, but then somehow things went belly up and he and she ended up staying together. Then I thought that maybe Severus and Harry were a couple, but because of maybe lots of alcohol and some bad choices, they ended up sleeping together-just this one time- and Happy was the good and bad outcome. Guess I will wait and see.On a personal side note, Harry and Happy are two of the Hippos in the game Hungry, Hungry, Hippos which my son has just recently discovered. I've thought about you each and every one of the ten thousand times we have played over the last week :)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Ahh yes, Hungry Hungry Hippos - this is the bane of Severus' life in Hilltop Cottage, the devil's own entertainment! lol!!More comes clear in the next couple of chapters, and as you say, Harry is never backward about coming forward so...
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
I knew if anyone would understand my pain, it would be you and Severus!
At last! Harry knows the truth. Whew thats a releif. ((bounces)) Severus ought to duck if knows whats good for him. I expect he is going to get a good shouting at by med witch Potter. Hee
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
lol... I think there may be some strong words, you're right. Harry is like a dog with a bone really!
Hooray! You had me genuinely worried about Happy there. I have a very hard time picturing Hermione with Rosemerta, but then Ginny was taken and Lavender was REALLY not her type, so who knows? I guess the wizarding world figured out Artificial Insemination, though chances are they don't do it with a glorified turkey baster. ... well, maybe they do. Why use magic when simple Muggle methods work just as well? It's no use guessing- I'm pleasantly surprised every time.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Well. I'm glad I was able to make you feel something. Next chapter wont be long. Thanks for reading.
I can't wait to hear Severus' story about the conception of Happy. Because honestly I thougt it involved a lot of alcohool followed by a pityful performance and a great headache afterwards, maybe regrets too.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
That would have been a fun scenario to write, actually, but no, not like that. I won't keep you waiting for much longer.
... as I Floo home, I’m feeling more confused than I was before.*pats Harry on the back* "Me too buddy, me too."Where, may I ask, is my explanation of this vow? Hmmm? I'd sic Severus on you, but I'll be damned if he isn't soft and squishy around the edges in this tale. And if that sounds like a negative comment, it isn't. I love your Severus. He retains his hard exterior, biting words, inherent insecurities ... all of the things that make him who he is. But when he is with Hermione, or Happy, or now Harry, he softens a little and that makes a hard-to-love man loveable.You may very well be able to take credit after so many before you have failed, to turn me into a Snarry fan. I'll hold out until the end to decide, though. No pressure, really.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you for reading, even if Snarry isn't your thing. I warn you now there will be sex coming up. I'll do my best to make it believable so that you don't feel the need to avert your eyes!Severus is a bit softer in this story. He's a different man, I think, and having Happy changed him beyond his own imagination. I'm sure that he's looked back on his own childhood and decided to be a different sort of parent.I have to be honest, I have struggled with the last couple of chapters. Hopefully the next one will be easier.
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
I warn you now there will be sex coming up. I'll do my best to make it believable so that you don't feel the need to avert your eyes!You've found my issue with these two. There can be a ton of sex, or none at all ... I just always have a hard time with a relationship between these two feeling believable. I'm liking them so far, even though their interactions have been repressed. Fear not, I have absolute faith in you to make this work.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
No pressure then. That's good!lol... I'm on chapter 10, sex will be in 11 I'm thinking. Wish us luck (thats me, Severus and of course, Harry... bwahahahaha!!!!)
AAaarrgh! I thought we might find out about the Vow in this chapter!! Well, I am glad that Happy is alright, anyway. Both Hermione and Severus will be able to face anything that happens now. Severus seems to be a great father so why he should have worried about Hermione taking her away, I don't know. Still insecure that everyone he loves will die/run away I suppose and whatever he Vow is, I don't think it has helped him to grow emotionally. Though I think having a daughter has, so perhaps he's ready to jump into the deep end with Harry. *Crosses fingers!*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think you're right about Severus and his insecurities. He has been abandoned by everyone he's ever cared about.The Vow isn't that exciting, really! lol... I think everyone will be majorly disappointed.
I'm so relieved Happy's well. I don't believe Severus would have ever recovered from her death, even with Harry's love to support him.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think you're right,
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
. Onwards...
Thanks for not killing Happy off. Okay I really didnt think you would, but I was nervous for a bit. The vow is lifted, the child is recovering seems to me its time for the adults to have a discussion. Drum roll please for the next chapter!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
lol... Next chapter is on it's way. Thanks for reading x
Well it is about time. I've been wondering about all of this vow business; the what and the why of it all. I certainly hope that this means the next chapter gives more insight into it all. Knowing you and your wily ways, the next chapter will probably be from Happy's POV, and will take place while she is under for surgery so will just be a blank page, LOL. Ok. you're not that bad. Still, don't make us wait too long for more, pretty please.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Dont panic - Chapter 8 is with my beta ARo so you won't have to wait long - I really wish I had done a blank Happy POV, lol!!! I'm not that clever!I hope the reveal makes sense to everyone... *doubting self*
Oh, my gods..... what..... what...... ????!!!!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
you need to refer back to Chapter 1! lol...
I can't believe I just tore right through the first chapters. I need another fix immediately! * taps foot* Lol, actually this is REALLY excellent. I'm quite enjoying it. Dare I surmise that...well no I won't. I'll let myself be surprised.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you so much. next chapter is WIP but shouldn't be long x
Oh WOW he removed the vow ! I want the next chapter immediately!!! You are so evil to withhold it! This was just heartbreaking watching both Hermione and SEverus suffer so. Poor Happy.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
It's carnage, I agree. It has to be. You have to break a few eggs... :)
What??? Oh my. *aughhhh...I have fallen.* Off the cliff I go.*giggle* Let's just say I am enjoying this immensely, and am looking forward to your next thrilling post.Thank you again for sharing~
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I hope this means you enjoyed the chapter. lol! next update wont be as long, i promise.
YOU are a very bad author!!! What's this vow (un unbreakable one?) that he made. To what purpose? YOu better update quickly *stare menacingly at you*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
hehe... *cackles evilly* *makes you wait*
What a delicious diner they had. I'm jealous. *wink*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think I preferred the dessert! Thanks for reading x
I LOVE this chapter!! ANd considering thess two sentences "I’ve never seen him look so bloody edible in my life, and my mouth goes dry.""I feel an urge to lick the exposed flesh"I'm wondering what, precisely, thay are going to eat for diner...
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Haha... With Severus in the house there's only one thing on the menu ;)
Thanks for reading :)