Where Lives Are Saved
Chapter 8 of 13
neelix‘It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.’
~ Anonymous~
Hermione
I’ve imagined this moment so many times that it’s an anti-climax. The weight of the Vow lifted, I’m now left with the weight of worrying about Happy. I have no energy to contemplate what might happen next. Nothing has changed. Nothing has been said. The only difference is that we are silent through choice and not will.
They let us see Happy for a short while, but she doesn’t even open her eyes. Harry says it’s residual because she’s been in stasis for so long. I hold her cold hand in mine for as long as I can, staring at her pale face and trying to remember all of her before they take her from me. Her long, dark curls hang limply on her shoulders. I want to take a brush to it and sing to her, like I do before she goes to bed at night. Her lips are tinged with blue, and her dark eyelashes stand out starkly against her cheeks. She definitely has her father’s colouring.
Severus looks shell shocked. I know everything is happening too fast for him, but perhaps that’s for the best. If he’d thought about it for too long, he would never have done it, and now, the rest is up to him. I shouldn’t have been so cruel. I know he’s more sensitive than I gave him credit for and that he loves Happy deeply. I wonder if he has been scared all this time that I would take her from him.
I make two strong cups of black coffee and take one to him as a peace offering. He gives me a resigned look but takes it anyway. I slide into the seat beside him and take his free hand in mine, threading my fingers through his. I squeeze tightly in what I hope he knows is reassurance, and he squeezes back. The last time we did this, I was giving birth, I think. It seems fitting.
As I stare into the bitter, hot coffee, I can’t help but think back over everything. It’s not the first time, of course, but being with Harry and Severus in the same room brings everything back so clearly.
It took me a while to see what was going on, but I was a bit wrapped up in myself at the time, so that’s no surprise. I’d known for a few years that girls were my thing, but it took Rosmerta to make that real. I knew there was no future there, but that wasn’t what it was about. There is a fondness between us, but she’s already lost the love of her life. Anyone else is just a distraction.
It never occurred to me that Harry was gay, too. I mean, he’d been out with Cho and with Ginny, and I know for a fact they were shagging. So when he told me he was in love with Severus, I almost laughed, until I saw that he was deadly serious. Things changed after that. We still spent time together, all of us, but I noticed the way they were with each other more and more, and I felt a bit out of it to be honest. Not that they did anything in front of me. In fact, I thought there was more going on than there was, but Severus told me they’d only kissed once, and he had avoided being alone with Harry after that. But Harry would stare at Severus, who would make a big show of not noticing and pretending everything was normal. I’d laugh if wasn’t all so sad.
Severus should have known Harry wouldn’t let it drop. He was always so stubborn about following things through, even when we were kids. He roped me in to help, which I thought was the right thing at the time. Severus was furious with me for even thinking it was a good idea, and I was so upset that Harry went to confront Severus there and then. It was just awful. Harry left and didn’t answer any of my owls, and Severus didn’t speak to me for a month beyond the formalities of the lab. Then he turned up at my quarters one night with brownies and Firewhisky. After an hour we opened a second bottle, and of course the conversation turned to our respective love lives, or in Severus’s case, the lack of one. He wouldn’t admit to his feelings for Harry at first, but I managed to refill his glass enough for it all to come out. For someone so bloody proud and stubborn, he can be a stupid man. But he was so scared of being hurt. I told him Harry is the most loyal person he would ever meet, and how did he know that the next man in his life would be able to commit any more than Harry?
He told me there would never be another man. That’s what made it so pathetic, really. They both felt the same way.
***
Harry
Armitage is a good man, and I’m relieved I chose to trust him with this. The operation is over, and another child is safe again. I settle Harriet into her room myself. I feel the need to take personal charge of her care, and I don’t want to examine the reasons why just now. I feel weak, and I know I have to go and tell them both that their daughter is well and they can stop worrying, but being in their presence is confusing and exhausting. There is something going on that I’m not party to, and I want to expedite their daughter’s recovery so they can exit my life as quickly as possible. I didn’t choose to revisit this situation, and if I was hurt before, now my wounds are open and bleeding.
I take the well-worn path to the waiting room, too wiped out to feel buoyant and excited to be passing on such good news. I ignore the nagging part of me that wants to see him again and force myself to maintain my professional façade. I paste on a smile before I open the door, but all of my careful planning crumbles away when I see the relief on his face and am engulfed in Hermione’s arms, her curls buffeting my cheek as she crushes me to her.
‘Thank you, oh God, Harry, thank you!’ She’s squealing in my ear, and I wince at the shrillness of it. He laughs, a sound I haven’t heard in a very long time, and as I look over Hermione’s shaking shoulder, our eyes meet.
He rolls his eyes and smiles, but I can see the tracks of his tears down his cheeks. He mouths a silent ‘Thank you,’ and I nod and smile back. We hold the gaze for longer than is really necessary, until he sits and rubs his face wearily with his hands. Hermione loosens her grip and goes over to him.
‘It’s okay, Severus. What ever happens, Happy will always be your little girl,’ she whispers. She sits and put her arm around his hunched shoulders. He nods, but he’s looking at me and not her.
‘Can we see her?’
‘Of course. She’s sleeping, but she’ll probably wake soon and she’ll want you with her, I’m sure.’
I lead them in silence to Harriet’s room. She’s awake, and Severus pauses with me by the door, watching as the child smiles up at Hermione and they hug each other gently. I feel his energy pulsing from him and catch a hint of the aroma that is so typical of him, a mix of spice and soap and maleness that used to make me almost beg to climb under his skin. I hold my breath and try and step away, but the door frame stops me. Hidden from view, he takes my hand and captures my fingers between his, caressing them with a ghost of a touch. He doesn’t even look at me, but as he runs the tip of his index finger across my palm I feel myself shiver. He steps into the room to greet his daughter, and the whole incident lasts no more than a few seconds. I feel faint, wondering if I imagined it.
I go to leave, but he stops me.
‘Harry.’ His voice is deep and rich, but it's his use of my name that stuns me into speechlessness. ‘Thank you, for everything.’
Hermione looks between us with a knowing smile on her face, and as I Floo home, I’m feeling more confused than I was before.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Making Happy
80 Reviews | 6.75/10 Average
So good to read this again.
Seriously lovely.
Yay for happy endings! You have done a fantastic job with this, Neelix. Really, it was beautiful from start to finish. I think this ended perfectly where it did, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be thrilled to see little glimpses of the future here and there. I like the conversation between mother and daughter on the train. It would be totally unrealistic if Harriet didn't have some reservations about how her peers would accept this unconventional family. It isn't the norm, and kids are cruel. Still, you make the point that different is not equivalent to bad. She just has extra people to love her is all. Regardless of her nerves about what people will think, I have no doubt that she knows deep down how very special she is and how very much she is loved.I don't think she will get too much grief about her parentage. Having three of the most instrumental folks in wizarding history as your family has got to count for something, right?I really, really love Harry's confidence in their relationship. He could feel nervous due to lack of verbal confirmation on Severus' part, and yet he seems to just know that this is right and that it will work between them for always.I hope the writing of this tale lifted your spirits a bit. I know reading it did for me. Thanks so much for sharing such a great story!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
thank you so much for your positive response to this. I'm really pleased with the way it was recieved, and yes, I did really get a boost from wiritng it!There will be new one-shots intermittently I think, firstly from Severus' POV. I'm still off work but I hope to go back soon . I miss the craic, to be honest!
So glad to see them together at the end. I really liked your story telling from each person's point of view. As someone else said, Snape's point of view on the bonding would be lovely to see.Well done.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank yu so much for reading. I intend to do a few one-shots to go with this, i think.
This was fantastic. Although not my usual pairing preference, the characterizations were outstanding. I agree with the request for a sequel. Very interesting to see how they balance the alternative family and how the kids handle it. It is always fun to see the true potential of a kid with parents such as Hermione and Severus too! Thanks for writing!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you so much - I seem to have convinced a few people about the pairing!
Well now everything is sorted and in its proper space. Nicely done you!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thankyou! I had a lot of fun with this x
Well, my dear, this simply BEGS for a sequel !! Snarry is generally not my thing so much, but this tale was written with such sensitivity and plausability of character that I was ensnared. Fine work !!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Wow. Thank you for that! perhaps I will do some one-shots to go along with this. A sequel would need further plot, and not their bonded there's no where to go!
AWWWWWWWWWWW! This is perfect ending. Maybe one day you'll write about Severus' feelings for this evening. I would have loved to see his face when he discovered the box in his plate. And his emotions while Harry paased the ring on his fingers should be interesting to know. Please?
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I might do a special one-shot just for you from Severus POV :) Thanks for reading xx
Response from snitchette (Reviewer)
*squeeeee* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
Awww ... this was nice. One thing that I have really enjoyed about this story is that there is conflict at the proper times, but it is quickly resolved. Not that I don't enjoy long drawn out angst and such, but that is not what this story is ultimately about. I think the cat is out of the bag as far as any secrets between them, so all that is left to do is pursue this relationship. Something that I needed to convince me that this pairing can work is a mature Harry. I'm ok with SS/HG where she is young, but for some reason it is hard for me to stomach a young, inexperienced, immature Harry with Snape. No worries with this version of Harry; he is perfect.Hermione is going to be absolutely delighted by this latest development. Happy probably will be as well. I don't see that there is anywhere to go now, except towards a happy ending -- no pun intended :)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you honey - sorry I'm so late in replying, I've been off radar for a little while.Thanks for reading x
Well, from Harry's perspective, Hermione has given him a lot to think about. From my perspective, what the hell is he waiting for? Go to Severus now and tell him how you feel. Geez, men.I love the interaction between Severus and Happy. I can see why he was worried about Hermione taking her away as he clearly loves her dearly.Severus and Hermione have taken an awkward situation and made it even worse in the interest of protecting Harry and Happy. I hope they can make things right for all parties involved.I will be interested to know how Happy came about. I thought in the beginning that Harry and Severus were a couple and wanted a child and Hermione volunteered to help, but then somehow things went belly up and he and she ended up staying together. Then I thought that maybe Severus and Harry were a couple, but because of maybe lots of alcohol and some bad choices, they ended up sleeping together-just this one time- and Happy was the good and bad outcome. Guess I will wait and see.On a personal side note, Harry and Happy are two of the Hippos in the game Hungry, Hungry, Hippos which my son has just recently discovered. I've thought about you each and every one of the ten thousand times we have played over the last week :)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Ahh yes, Hungry Hungry Hippos - this is the bane of Severus' life in Hilltop Cottage, the devil's own entertainment! lol!!More comes clear in the next couple of chapters, and as you say, Harry is never backward about coming forward so...
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
I knew if anyone would understand my pain, it would be you and Severus!
At last! Harry knows the truth. Whew thats a releif. ((bounces)) Severus ought to duck if knows whats good for him. I expect he is going to get a good shouting at by med witch Potter. Hee
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
lol... I think there may be some strong words, you're right. Harry is like a dog with a bone really!
Hooray! You had me genuinely worried about Happy there. I have a very hard time picturing Hermione with Rosemerta, but then Ginny was taken and Lavender was REALLY not her type, so who knows? I guess the wizarding world figured out Artificial Insemination, though chances are they don't do it with a glorified turkey baster. ... well, maybe they do. Why use magic when simple Muggle methods work just as well? It's no use guessing- I'm pleasantly surprised every time.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Well. I'm glad I was able to make you feel something. Next chapter wont be long. Thanks for reading.
I can't wait to hear Severus' story about the conception of Happy. Because honestly I thougt it involved a lot of alcohool followed by a pityful performance and a great headache afterwards, maybe regrets too.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
That would have been a fun scenario to write, actually, but no, not like that. I won't keep you waiting for much longer.
... as I Floo home, I’m feeling more confused than I was before.*pats Harry on the back* "Me too buddy, me too."Where, may I ask, is my explanation of this vow? Hmmm? I'd sic Severus on you, but I'll be damned if he isn't soft and squishy around the edges in this tale. And if that sounds like a negative comment, it isn't. I love your Severus. He retains his hard exterior, biting words, inherent insecurities ... all of the things that make him who he is. But when he is with Hermione, or Happy, or now Harry, he softens a little and that makes a hard-to-love man loveable.You may very well be able to take credit after so many before you have failed, to turn me into a Snarry fan. I'll hold out until the end to decide, though. No pressure, really.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you for reading, even if Snarry isn't your thing. I warn you now there will be sex coming up. I'll do my best to make it believable so that you don't feel the need to avert your eyes!Severus is a bit softer in this story. He's a different man, I think, and having Happy changed him beyond his own imagination. I'm sure that he's looked back on his own childhood and decided to be a different sort of parent.I have to be honest, I have struggled with the last couple of chapters. Hopefully the next one will be easier.
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
I warn you now there will be sex coming up. I'll do my best to make it believable so that you don't feel the need to avert your eyes!You've found my issue with these two. There can be a ton of sex, or none at all ... I just always have a hard time with a relationship between these two feeling believable. I'm liking them so far, even though their interactions have been repressed. Fear not, I have absolute faith in you to make this work.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
No pressure then. That's good!lol... I'm on chapter 10, sex will be in 11 I'm thinking. Wish us luck (thats me, Severus and of course, Harry... bwahahahaha!!!!)
AAaarrgh! I thought we might find out about the Vow in this chapter!! Well, I am glad that Happy is alright, anyway. Both Hermione and Severus will be able to face anything that happens now. Severus seems to be a great father so why he should have worried about Hermione taking her away, I don't know. Still insecure that everyone he loves will die/run away I suppose and whatever he Vow is, I don't think it has helped him to grow emotionally. Though I think having a daughter has, so perhaps he's ready to jump into the deep end with Harry. *Crosses fingers!*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think you're right about Severus and his insecurities. He has been abandoned by everyone he's ever cared about.The Vow isn't that exciting, really! lol... I think everyone will be majorly disappointed.
I'm so relieved Happy's well. I don't believe Severus would have ever recovered from her death, even with Harry's love to support him.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think you're right,
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
. Onwards...
Thanks for not killing Happy off. Okay I really didnt think you would, but I was nervous for a bit. The vow is lifted, the child is recovering seems to me its time for the adults to have a discussion. Drum roll please for the next chapter!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
lol... Next chapter is on it's way. Thanks for reading x
Well it is about time. I've been wondering about all of this vow business; the what and the why of it all. I certainly hope that this means the next chapter gives more insight into it all. Knowing you and your wily ways, the next chapter will probably be from Happy's POV, and will take place while she is under for surgery so will just be a blank page, LOL. Ok. you're not that bad. Still, don't make us wait too long for more, pretty please.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Dont panic - Chapter 8 is with my beta ARo so you won't have to wait long - I really wish I had done a blank Happy POV, lol!!! I'm not that clever!I hope the reveal makes sense to everyone... *doubting self*
Oh, my gods..... what..... what...... ????!!!!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
you need to refer back to Chapter 1! lol...
I can't believe I just tore right through the first chapters. I need another fix immediately! * taps foot* Lol, actually this is REALLY excellent. I'm quite enjoying it. Dare I surmise that...well no I won't. I'll let myself be surprised.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you so much. next chapter is WIP but shouldn't be long x
Oh WOW he removed the vow ! I want the next chapter immediately!!! You are so evil to withhold it! This was just heartbreaking watching both Hermione and SEverus suffer so. Poor Happy.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
It's carnage, I agree. It has to be. You have to break a few eggs... :)
What??? Oh my. *aughhhh...I have fallen.* Off the cliff I go.*giggle* Let's just say I am enjoying this immensely, and am looking forward to your next thrilling post.Thank you again for sharing~
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I hope this means you enjoyed the chapter. lol! next update wont be as long, i promise.
YOU are a very bad author!!! What's this vow (un unbreakable one?) that he made. To what purpose? YOu better update quickly *stare menacingly at you*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
hehe... *cackles evilly* *makes you wait*
What a delicious diner they had. I'm jealous. *wink*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think I preferred the dessert! Thanks for reading x
I LOVE this chapter!! ANd considering thess two sentences "I’ve never seen him look so bloody edible in my life, and my mouth goes dry.""I feel an urge to lick the exposed flesh"I'm wondering what, precisely, thay are going to eat for diner...
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Haha... With Severus in the house there's only one thing on the menu ;)
Thanks for reading :)