Where We Revisit A Memory
Chapter 6 of 13
neelix‘Sometimes Goodbye is a painful way to say ‘I Love you.”
~ Kezia~
Harry
He thanked me. Out of the blue, he thanked me for telling him the worst possible news. Hermione cried, which I expected her to do. She’s not the most emotional person I know, but I’ve seen how much she loves her daughter. I’m tired now, and my shift has ended, but I can’t seem to move myself to the Floo just yet.
Hermione has decided to stay, even though I told her she can’t see Harriet for a few more hours and nothing is likely to change. I’ve allocated the parents’ room to her and left instructions with the house-elves to keep her fed and watered. The fact that Hermione didn’t even flinch when I did that says a lot for her state of mind right now.
I jump when the Floo flares green, and Snape steps out with quiet grace, holding a bag of things that Hermione needed from home. He pauses, and we look at each other for a brief moment. His eyes are soft, and perhaps a little sad. I can’t let him pass without hearing his voice. Selfish, but I don’t care. Not about that, anyway.
‘Are you holding up, Severus?’
He stops before reaching for the door and his head bows, letting his long, dark hair obscure his face as he turns his profile to me.
‘As well as can be expected, Potter.’ He doesn’t move, and I realise he is waiting for me to say something else.
‘You used to call me Harry.’
Even I flinch at the implication in that loaded statement, but for fuck's sake, I’m tired and sick to death of pretending that the past didn’t happen and that at one point, many years ago, I was in love with him.
I distract myself from my embarrassment with the pile of parchment on my desk and lift the quill purposefully, although what I intend to write is anyone’s guess. I hold my breath until I hear the distinctive click of the door, and when I look up, he’s gone. Again.
I Floo home, desperate to shake the remnants of the day from my head. A quick, hot shower and a bottle of beer from the ‘fridge should do it, but instead of heading up the stairs to the bathroom, I take my beer and sit on the sofa and stare into the fire. It’s not long before my thoughts drift back to Hogwarts. They were halcyon days, between the end of the war and, well… things changed very swiftly afterwards. I don’t think I even said goodbye to Hermione after packing the few items I wanted to keep.
I still find it hard to believe. Hermione was so determined to gain her apprenticeship; I think she just wore Severus down with her constant presence in his lab. I had nothing planned and no other home to go to apart from Grimmauld Place. Minerva was happy enough for me to stay in the guest wing for as long as I wanted.
I thought Hermione had a thing for him at first, but there was nothing to suggest it and she said it was purely professional. I started to watch them brew to pass the time, and it was soothing, in it’s way. I grew up and started to see the man beneath the robes, and there was nothing left to fight about after Voldermort died. Severus and I made our peace.
It didn’t take long before I became the errand boy, running between the lab and Poppy’s store, keeping the shelves stocked at first, and then helping out in the ward now and then. It was his suggestion, to become a medi-witch. He said I should have a purpose beyond the walls of Hogwarts, but I couldn’t face the public scrutiny at first. When Hermione started to work at Rosmerta’s, I found myself alone with him more often than not, and I realised I was more than happy with that. Sometimes he would arrange food for us and talk about his student days. I loved hearing him talking about my parents. He didn’t really hate my dad, not at first anyway. He wouldn’t say why things changed.
I lean back against the sofa cushions and close my eyes. I know where these memories are taking me, and I let it happen for once.
…I’m whistling as I walk down the dark, musty corridor. Funny how the darker it gets the more cheerful I feel, because I know that he is there at the end. I knock on the ancient wooden door and it opens immediately, as I knew it would. He changed his wards to allow me entry over a year ago, and it still gives me a thrill to know that he trusts me and welcomes me into his domain. He calls me the Boy-Who-Just-Is and tries to hide his smirk when he says it. I think he secretly enjoys teasing me, as much as I enjoy hearing the amusement in his voice and seeing the glint of warmth in his eyes.
I pass through the dimly lit office into the sitting room. It contains a mis-match of old furniture which seems to fit together perfectly as if by accident, much like the three of us. Severus enjoys holding court here when Hermione and I are in a heated debate. He watches us with a wry smile as we each try to best each other. Eventually one of us will give in and ask him to support our argument. He rarely sides with either of us, and we turn on him as a pair, challenging him to stop sitting on the fence and decide who is right. He laughs, tells us he has sat on the fence for all of his adult life, and gets the Firewhisky out, signalling the end of his part in proceedings. Hermione and I share an indulgent smile, because we both adore him for who he is, albeit in different ways.
I sit on the old, green sofa, ready to wait until he returns from his rounds or wherever he is. There is a journal on the seat, and I lift it and open it, curious to its contents. I see Severus’ handwriting and close it immediately. I don’t want to pry, so I put the book back where I found it, just in time to hear his familiar cough behind me.
‘I didn’t read it, Severus. I was just interested,’ I say immediately.
He walks around to the open fireplace and says nothing. He looks like he has just stepped out of the shower. His hair is damp, and he’s wearing only his black shirt and trousers. The firelight highlights his skin, and his face is all sharp angles and planes. I find myself holding my breath as I look up at him, and it takes me a moment to realise he is staring at me strangely.
The atmosphere changes imperceptibly. If I’m honest, things have been changing subtly between us for a while. The comfortable silences are no longer quite as comfortable, and a frisson of something hangs in the air.
‘Why are you here?’ he says quietly.
I’m thrown for a second and start to wonder at the question myself. He never uses words flippantly, and I know he really does want me to answer.
‘For you.’
He closes his eyes and lets out a soft groan before starting to walk away. Spontaneously, I jump up from my seat and grab his arm. He turns and stares at me, and I see the uncertainty in his eyes. For a brief moment I realise that I don’t even know if he’s gay, but I push that to the back of my mind as I pull him back to me. He lets me, and I smile briefly as I close the gap between my lips and his. Warm, soft and pliant, I explore his mouth with mine and slide my arms around his waist. He’s resisting, I can tell, so I press forward firmly and sweep the crease of his lips with the tip of my tongue. With a moan, he opens his mouth and his arms wrap themselves around my shoulders. He presses me closer to his body and his tongue battles firmly with my own…
Hidden passion, that’s what the kiss told me. I loved him from that moment.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Making Happy
80 Reviews | 6.75/10 Average
So good to read this again.
Seriously lovely.
Yay for happy endings! You have done a fantastic job with this, Neelix. Really, it was beautiful from start to finish. I think this ended perfectly where it did, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be thrilled to see little glimpses of the future here and there. I like the conversation between mother and daughter on the train. It would be totally unrealistic if Harriet didn't have some reservations about how her peers would accept this unconventional family. It isn't the norm, and kids are cruel. Still, you make the point that different is not equivalent to bad. She just has extra people to love her is all. Regardless of her nerves about what people will think, I have no doubt that she knows deep down how very special she is and how very much she is loved.I don't think she will get too much grief about her parentage. Having three of the most instrumental folks in wizarding history as your family has got to count for something, right?I really, really love Harry's confidence in their relationship. He could feel nervous due to lack of verbal confirmation on Severus' part, and yet he seems to just know that this is right and that it will work between them for always.I hope the writing of this tale lifted your spirits a bit. I know reading it did for me. Thanks so much for sharing such a great story!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
thank you so much for your positive response to this. I'm really pleased with the way it was recieved, and yes, I did really get a boost from wiritng it!There will be new one-shots intermittently I think, firstly from Severus' POV. I'm still off work but I hope to go back soon . I miss the craic, to be honest!
So glad to see them together at the end. I really liked your story telling from each person's point of view. As someone else said, Snape's point of view on the bonding would be lovely to see.Well done.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank yu so much for reading. I intend to do a few one-shots to go with this, i think.
This was fantastic. Although not my usual pairing preference, the characterizations were outstanding. I agree with the request for a sequel. Very interesting to see how they balance the alternative family and how the kids handle it. It is always fun to see the true potential of a kid with parents such as Hermione and Severus too! Thanks for writing!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you so much - I seem to have convinced a few people about the pairing!
Well now everything is sorted and in its proper space. Nicely done you!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thankyou! I had a lot of fun with this x
Well, my dear, this simply BEGS for a sequel !! Snarry is generally not my thing so much, but this tale was written with such sensitivity and plausability of character that I was ensnared. Fine work !!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Wow. Thank you for that! perhaps I will do some one-shots to go along with this. A sequel would need further plot, and not their bonded there's no where to go!
AWWWWWWWWWWW! This is perfect ending. Maybe one day you'll write about Severus' feelings for this evening. I would have loved to see his face when he discovered the box in his plate. And his emotions while Harry paased the ring on his fingers should be interesting to know. Please?
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I might do a special one-shot just for you from Severus POV :) Thanks for reading xx
Response from snitchette (Reviewer)
*squeeeee* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
Awww ... this was nice. One thing that I have really enjoyed about this story is that there is conflict at the proper times, but it is quickly resolved. Not that I don't enjoy long drawn out angst and such, but that is not what this story is ultimately about. I think the cat is out of the bag as far as any secrets between them, so all that is left to do is pursue this relationship. Something that I needed to convince me that this pairing can work is a mature Harry. I'm ok with SS/HG where she is young, but for some reason it is hard for me to stomach a young, inexperienced, immature Harry with Snape. No worries with this version of Harry; he is perfect.Hermione is going to be absolutely delighted by this latest development. Happy probably will be as well. I don't see that there is anywhere to go now, except towards a happy ending -- no pun intended :)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you honey - sorry I'm so late in replying, I've been off radar for a little while.Thanks for reading x
Well, from Harry's perspective, Hermione has given him a lot to think about. From my perspective, what the hell is he waiting for? Go to Severus now and tell him how you feel. Geez, men.I love the interaction between Severus and Happy. I can see why he was worried about Hermione taking her away as he clearly loves her dearly.Severus and Hermione have taken an awkward situation and made it even worse in the interest of protecting Harry and Happy. I hope they can make things right for all parties involved.I will be interested to know how Happy came about. I thought in the beginning that Harry and Severus were a couple and wanted a child and Hermione volunteered to help, but then somehow things went belly up and he and she ended up staying together. Then I thought that maybe Severus and Harry were a couple, but because of maybe lots of alcohol and some bad choices, they ended up sleeping together-just this one time- and Happy was the good and bad outcome. Guess I will wait and see.On a personal side note, Harry and Happy are two of the Hippos in the game Hungry, Hungry, Hippos which my son has just recently discovered. I've thought about you each and every one of the ten thousand times we have played over the last week :)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Ahh yes, Hungry Hungry Hippos - this is the bane of Severus' life in Hilltop Cottage, the devil's own entertainment! lol!!More comes clear in the next couple of chapters, and as you say, Harry is never backward about coming forward so...
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
I knew if anyone would understand my pain, it would be you and Severus!
At last! Harry knows the truth. Whew thats a releif. ((bounces)) Severus ought to duck if knows whats good for him. I expect he is going to get a good shouting at by med witch Potter. Hee
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
lol... I think there may be some strong words, you're right. Harry is like a dog with a bone really!
Hooray! You had me genuinely worried about Happy there. I have a very hard time picturing Hermione with Rosemerta, but then Ginny was taken and Lavender was REALLY not her type, so who knows? I guess the wizarding world figured out Artificial Insemination, though chances are they don't do it with a glorified turkey baster. ... well, maybe they do. Why use magic when simple Muggle methods work just as well? It's no use guessing- I'm pleasantly surprised every time.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Well. I'm glad I was able to make you feel something. Next chapter wont be long. Thanks for reading.
I can't wait to hear Severus' story about the conception of Happy. Because honestly I thougt it involved a lot of alcohool followed by a pityful performance and a great headache afterwards, maybe regrets too.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
That would have been a fun scenario to write, actually, but no, not like that. I won't keep you waiting for much longer.
... as I Floo home, I’m feeling more confused than I was before.*pats Harry on the back* "Me too buddy, me too."Where, may I ask, is my explanation of this vow? Hmmm? I'd sic Severus on you, but I'll be damned if he isn't soft and squishy around the edges in this tale. And if that sounds like a negative comment, it isn't. I love your Severus. He retains his hard exterior, biting words, inherent insecurities ... all of the things that make him who he is. But when he is with Hermione, or Happy, or now Harry, he softens a little and that makes a hard-to-love man loveable.You may very well be able to take credit after so many before you have failed, to turn me into a Snarry fan. I'll hold out until the end to decide, though. No pressure, really.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you for reading, even if Snarry isn't your thing. I warn you now there will be sex coming up. I'll do my best to make it believable so that you don't feel the need to avert your eyes!Severus is a bit softer in this story. He's a different man, I think, and having Happy changed him beyond his own imagination. I'm sure that he's looked back on his own childhood and decided to be a different sort of parent.I have to be honest, I have struggled with the last couple of chapters. Hopefully the next one will be easier.
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
I warn you now there will be sex coming up. I'll do my best to make it believable so that you don't feel the need to avert your eyes!You've found my issue with these two. There can be a ton of sex, or none at all ... I just always have a hard time with a relationship between these two feeling believable. I'm liking them so far, even though their interactions have been repressed. Fear not, I have absolute faith in you to make this work.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
No pressure then. That's good!lol... I'm on chapter 10, sex will be in 11 I'm thinking. Wish us luck (thats me, Severus and of course, Harry... bwahahahaha!!!!)
AAaarrgh! I thought we might find out about the Vow in this chapter!! Well, I am glad that Happy is alright, anyway. Both Hermione and Severus will be able to face anything that happens now. Severus seems to be a great father so why he should have worried about Hermione taking her away, I don't know. Still insecure that everyone he loves will die/run away I suppose and whatever he Vow is, I don't think it has helped him to grow emotionally. Though I think having a daughter has, so perhaps he's ready to jump into the deep end with Harry. *Crosses fingers!*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think you're right about Severus and his insecurities. He has been abandoned by everyone he's ever cared about.The Vow isn't that exciting, really! lol... I think everyone will be majorly disappointed.
I'm so relieved Happy's well. I don't believe Severus would have ever recovered from her death, even with Harry's love to support him.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think you're right,
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
. Onwards...
Thanks for not killing Happy off. Okay I really didnt think you would, but I was nervous for a bit. The vow is lifted, the child is recovering seems to me its time for the adults to have a discussion. Drum roll please for the next chapter!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
lol... Next chapter is on it's way. Thanks for reading x
Well it is about time. I've been wondering about all of this vow business; the what and the why of it all. I certainly hope that this means the next chapter gives more insight into it all. Knowing you and your wily ways, the next chapter will probably be from Happy's POV, and will take place while she is under for surgery so will just be a blank page, LOL. Ok. you're not that bad. Still, don't make us wait too long for more, pretty please.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Dont panic - Chapter 8 is with my beta ARo so you won't have to wait long - I really wish I had done a blank Happy POV, lol!!! I'm not that clever!I hope the reveal makes sense to everyone... *doubting self*
Oh, my gods..... what..... what...... ????!!!!
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
you need to refer back to Chapter 1! lol...
I can't believe I just tore right through the first chapters. I need another fix immediately! * taps foot* Lol, actually this is REALLY excellent. I'm quite enjoying it. Dare I surmise that...well no I won't. I'll let myself be surprised.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Thank you so much. next chapter is WIP but shouldn't be long x
Oh WOW he removed the vow ! I want the next chapter immediately!!! You are so evil to withhold it! This was just heartbreaking watching both Hermione and SEverus suffer so. Poor Happy.
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
It's carnage, I agree. It has to be. You have to break a few eggs... :)
What??? Oh my. *aughhhh...I have fallen.* Off the cliff I go.*giggle* Let's just say I am enjoying this immensely, and am looking forward to your next thrilling post.Thank you again for sharing~
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I hope this means you enjoyed the chapter. lol! next update wont be as long, i promise.
YOU are a very bad author!!! What's this vow (un unbreakable one?) that he made. To what purpose? YOu better update quickly *stare menacingly at you*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
hehe... *cackles evilly* *makes you wait*
What a delicious diner they had. I'm jealous. *wink*
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
I think I preferred the dessert! Thanks for reading x
I LOVE this chapter!! ANd considering thess two sentences "I’ve never seen him look so bloody edible in my life, and my mouth goes dry.""I feel an urge to lick the exposed flesh"I'm wondering what, precisely, thay are going to eat for diner...
Response from neelix (Author of Making Happy)
Haha... With Severus in the house there's only one thing on the menu ;)
Thanks for reading :)