The Maiden's Dilemma

As Perseus looked down from his aerial height he beheld the virgin chained to a rock, and waiting the approach of the serpent. She was so pale and motionless that if it had not been for her flowing tears and her hair that moved in the breeze, he would have taken her for a marble statue. Bulfinch's Mythology, Chapter XV.

Andromeda stepped out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron and continued into Diagon Alley. She passed Madame Malkin's and watched a young witch being fitted with dress robes for her wedding. The other witch looked beautiful as she chatted happily with the other women with her. It was a Ravenclaw who had been out of Hogwarts for a few years. Andromeda sighed. It seemed, from what she was seeing, that the Ravenclaw was at least not unhappy with her situation. What would it be like next week when she was the bride in the window?

As she made her way further down the street, she saw families milling around together. The couples held hands and exchanged stolen kisses. The children ran along and danced around their parents. Could life with Rabastan Lestrange ever be like that? If she couldn't have children, what would happen? Would she be expected to follow that man who had enthralled her older sister? She didn't like the sound of him and wasn't sure she ever could. She didn't want a life like the one that her sister had worked out. She wanted what the women she saw here had.

She eventually worked her way down to Florean Fortescue's and got a bowl of dark chocolate ice cream. She sat down in a dark corner and looked at the table. Somewhat mechanically, she scooped a little ice cream and brought it to her mouth. It was creamy and cool, which was a pleasant sensation on a summer day. The soothing sensation of the chocolate started to take effect after the third or fourth spoonful. She sat and quietly ate, confident that she was all but invisible. It surprised her, then, that someone came and stood by her table.

She saw the handkerchief he held out and asked herself why. That's when she realized that the tears she refused to allow in the presence of her parents or in her parents' house had finally started to flow. She had held them in all the way down the street, but for some reason, she felt comfortable enough in her corner of the ice cream parlor to cry. The second question was why he had to be the one to see her tears again. Why was this wizard the one to see her at her weak moments?

Ted hadn't been watching her, exactly. He had seen her wandering through the area and thought that there was something unhappy about her demeanor. He had kept an eye on her and followed at a distance. When he noticed the tears, he had to do something.

She mustered every ounce of sarcasm and contempt, although she took the square of cotton. "What do you want, Mudblood?"

"Who says I want anything?"

She let out a tired sigh. "Everyone wants something from me these days."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

She snorted. "Not unless you can get my sister pregnant."

"I can't imagine you mean that the way it sounds."

"What?" She looked at him and comprehended what she said. "Oh! No, I guess not." Her face flamed red and then faded. She sat quietly, the scoop of ice cream slowly disappearing.

"Is it something you can talk about?"

She dabbed at her eye again. "I was supposed to be allowed to look around, to pick someone I might actually want. I was going to get my choice among several young wizards. Trixie got the brother who was half-way nice, but she can't have a baby. She was cursed by my uncle, and I probably was, too."

"What does any of that mean?"

She sighed. "That was all a bit of a jumble, I suppose. It's all about my sister. Her husband's family thinks she's worthless because she can't have a child."

"Her worth is measured by her children?"

"I tell you that you don't understand, Mudblood. Every pure-blood witch is measured by her pure-blood children."

"And you?"

"The same thing."

He crossed his arms and looked at her assessingly. "I could never measure you. Certainly not by that standard. I would count the number of smiles we share... or perhaps the sighs in our bedroom at night."

She went pink. He could see that he had embarrassed her, so he went back to the subject that distressed her. "So you're worried about your sister."

"Not just my sister. Her husband's family thinks I need to fulfill the portion of the contract that she cannot."

He felt nauseated. "Since your sister has been proven unable, now you're supposed to provide the grandchild. How is that supposed to happen?" He couldn't stand any of the thoughts running through his mind but some were far worse than others.

She understood, having had the same misgivings. "Oh, I'm supposed to marry the brother, but yes, they expect me to provide a grandchild since my sister cannot."

"And you don't want to marry the brother?"

She gave a delicate shudder. "No, but I have to. If I don't agree, then they'll do what they did with Bellatrix and make me stay at their house for a weekend. I'll be ruined."

"What will they do?"

"Not they, he, and I'd rather not go into it."

He digested this bit of information, but it didn't settle his stomach. "Is it better to simply agree to the marriage, then?"

"I'm not sure it makes a difference. I don't know what happens when I'm unable to have a child, because of the curse."

"What is this curse?"

She waved her hand and shook her head. "There isn't one, actually. It turns out that Uncle Alphard was yanking Father and Aunt Walburga's chain when he claimed that. Trixie just can't have kids, and if she can't maybe I can't either. Maybe whatever it is runs in families."

"You have more value than that. You're a beautiful and talented witch."

"All of a sudden Trixie thinks she does, too."

"See? She's coming around."

Andromeda fixed him with a distressed look. "No, it's this other wizard she met. I don't think it's right. He's filled her head with stories about how she can still help pure-blood witches and wizards. Somehow he expects her to help him rid the world of the Mudbloods and half-bloods. She's convinced that she will help him rule in glory when that happens."

"I've heard of a wizard like that. His name is Voldemort."

The spoon clattered into the bowl. The invisible chains she had felt when her sister mentioned him suddenly seemed to tighten. Chatter at nearby tables stopped as people looked and then turned back to their own business. "You know him?" she whispered.

"I know of him. There are some who don't want him to gain power."

"Trixie thinks that I should be a follower of his and help realize his plans."

"I hope you don't do that."

She shook her head. "Not that your opinion matters, but I don't think I can."

He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. She played with her napkin.

"Why don't you marry someone else, then, if you don't want to marry the Lestrange brother?"

"There's no one else for me to marry."

It was one of those moments when a chance comes. Ted was an ordinary young man, but he knew when to take advantage of an opportunity. "I would marry you," he said quietly.

It hung between them for a moment as she opened and closed her mouth several times, searching for something to say. "That can't be a serious offer?"

"Why not?"

"You're a Mudblood."

"If I was not already aware of that fact, I would be made so by your use of that word at least three times so far in our conversation."

She squirmed at having it pointed out that she was rude. "Why should I have to get married, anyway?" she asked a bit peevishly. "Why can't I just stay single?"

He sat back in his chair and shrugged with a look of nonchalance that she suspected was feigned. "You're right; you shouldn't have to. Nevertheless, if it would get you out of this jam and if you would rather, we could marry in name only until you found the wizard you would rather be with, or until you found another solution to your problem." He made the mistake of looking up and she saw his face.

"Do you always have to smile at me like that?"

"Yes." He was quite emphatic on that point.

"Why on earth do you feel the need?"

"There's no need. It just does itself. You're the prettiest witch I've ever spoken with. I'm happy to be in your company."

"How can that be true? I didn't believe it when you said that a year ago. Surely you've met even prettier witches since then."

"Miss Black, I could speak to every witch in England, and I would still think you were the prettiest."

"I don't believe you." It was the first thing to come out of her mouth, but it didn't convey the shock she felt, nor the surprising warmth.

"I don't suppose there's any law or regulation that requires you to believe me."

She sighed and fidgeted. He watched her, wishing there was something he could do.

"It was an honest offer."

"What was?"

"Marriage, between you and me."

"You can't be serious."

"Why not?"

"Have you any idea what I would have to give up to marry someone like you? There's a tapestry in the house my Aunt and Uncle live in. It's the house she and my father grew up in. It lists everyone in the family and goes back not years, but centuries. There is no Muggle in the entire direct line. If I married a Mudblood, I would have to give up my parents, my sisters, and my place in this world. I would have to reconstruct my whole belief system and the way I was taught to think since I was born. I would cease to exist as I even know myself, and I would have to start everything completely over. You just don't know what it would be like."

He looked a little annoyed. "How can you be so sure? My family was perfectly normal, as far as we knew. Then Professor Morgan turned up. He told us that what we were trying to ignore was really happening. I was really a wizard, and there was a whole world that I belonged to, but my parents and family do not. I had to rearrange everything I knew in my mind, and then I had to leave my family at the age of eleven. Over the past eight years I've slowly been growing apart from my family. We still love each other, but I don't belong to their world anymore, and they don't belong to mine. My parents have my sister and brother and grandchildren, so maybe they don't miss me very much. I haven't seen them since my mother hugged me goodbye at King's Cross a year and a half ago."

"Oh. I didn't realize." She was embarrassed.

"If you wanted, I would marry you, and I would consider the loss of my family a small cost. I have a job that's not important, but it's enough. It's sufficient to get a cottage and support a witch and maybe some children if we had them. You could be that witch." His face went a little pink. "Actually, I want you to be that witch."

"Without love?"

"Who says it would be without love? I've been smitten by you since I first saw you over there in this shop, more than eight years ago. I've been interested ever since. I stole glances of you at school whenever I could. The day you spoke to me for those few minutes was my best day ever at Hogwarts. I'm more than a little in love with you now, and I'm sure I could fall utterly within hours." His face had been sweet but now it became intense as he leaned across the table. "I should apologize for this: I have dreamed of running my hands through your amazing hair, and of kissing you, and... It doesn't stop there. I long to do with you what any husband would do with his wife."

She went pink as her mouth opened and closed. Something in her tummy flipped completely over.

She considered his offer. Was it for real? She thought maybe it was. Could she trust him? Whatever her parents had always told her about Mudbloods, she sensed this Theodore Tonks was honorable and honest. He would do everything he said because he had some affection for her, but also because it appealed to his sense of what was right. He was absolutely a Hufflepuff. Could she be his wife? That thing in her tummy that was doing flip-flops said she could become his wife in every sense of the word. It would be better to leave that train of thought to the side for now. Was she willing to give up everything for the sake of escaping the horror of what would be otherwise?

Theodore watched the witch in front of him. It wasn't hard because he could look at her forever. He could tell she was thinking as she looked at him. He took off his glasses so she could get a good look. She frowned when she realized she had been caught staring and looked down. She continued to think and looked up again. He told himself that he saw the beginnings of a smile around the edges of her face when suddenly her eyes went wide. There was a look of panic followed by a look of dismay, and then she stood and slapped him... hard.

"How dare you, Mudblood! How dare you to sit down at my table and make such comments to me!"

Before Ted could do anything, he heard a high pitched shrieking laugh. "Good job, little sister. Put the filthy Muggle in his place." Bellatrix Lestrange dismissed Tonks with a turn of her head and a sniff. She took Andromeda's arm and started tugging. "Mother wants you to come home. There is much to discuss."

Ted stood as Andromeda passed him with a look of wistful sadness in her face. As he did, her free hand passed something wet to him, and she breathed out, "So sorry..." By the time he realized he was holding his handkerchief, the Black sisters were long gone.

He cleared the table and left the restaurant. Gideon Prewett was standing near the Quidditch shop, gazing at the brooms. He spoke without turning. "My sister has a little boy. Maybe he'll want one of these, soon." He looked at Ted. "Do you have any news?"

Tonks paused. Perhaps some of what he heard would be useful, but he didn't want to expose Andromeda and her troubles to the world at large. "I have heard that the Lestranges and part of the Black family have become friends with the wizard we're tracking."

"I'll pass that along. What are you doing this evening?"

"I'm working with Tanner."

"Keep it up, the ability to change one's appearance could be mighty useful sometime. Wish I could do it."

What he wanted to do was go to his flat and eat his dinner while thinking over everything that had been said between himself and Andromeda Black. He wanted to commit every word, every facial expression to his memory. Instead, he went to a secret meeting place to work on a skill he didn't realize he possessed until a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps there would be a way to use it for her. He took a deep breath as he walked down a side street. Those all-too-brief moments had been all that was needed to convert a strong fancy into a real passion. He would need to somehow push the feelings back into his heart and close them in until a time when they would be better used.

A/N: Did you find yourself talking to your computer monitor while reading this chapter? You're not alone if you did!

Thanks to Trickie Woo for beta reading!