A Roll in the Hay
Chapter 4 of 8
DawnEBVery loosely based on Ladyofthemasque's 'Lost in a Book' challenge. Severus and Hermione have problems with a book in the Restricted Section. Will they ever get together and get home? Brief appearances by a number of HP characters, and a suggestion of slash. Rating for safety, nothing too graphic
ReviewedJust beyond where he and Miss Granger had originally woken up Snape passed a fence. The gate was open, and the cattle had wandered into the neighbouring wheat field. From behind a haystack he heard snoring.
Struggling once more with his clothing he had an idea. 'Hmm, I wonder if it would be possible that one of the inhabitants of this book would have better luck at divesting me of this monstrosity?' Severus thought. Coming round the stack he found a man asleep with a broad brimmed hat over his face. He wore jeans and a blue shirt and had an almost empty bottle of wine next to him.
"Excuse me." Snape raised his voice and kicked the booted foot closest him. "I said, excuse me, I need a little assistance here. I wonder if you could help me get this skirt loose, you see--"
"No problem, darling, I'm more than willing to help you with your little problem." The man pushed his hat back and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Snape stood back in surprise.
"Black!" The other man stood, flexing his muscular chest as he stretched.
"No, Blue, but I won't hold it against you--unless you ask me to, that is," he finished with a leer and a wink.
"Now, why don't I help you off with your dress, and then I'll show you I'm no 'Little Boy' while you blow my horn?" Blue/Black made a grab for Severus, who darted out of reach.
"Stop it, I'll have you know that under this dress I'm as much a man as you are."
Blue looked Snape up and down before reaching for the bottle and taking a swig. Wiping the rim in what he obviously thought was a gentlemanly gesture he offered it across.
"Doesn't bother me either way. Do you want me to blow your horn first?"
Dumbstruck by the turn of events, Snape reacted just a little too late as Blue grabbed him and pulled him into a bear hug. Wet slobbery lips pressed drunkenly to his own, but when he felt a tongue pushing at them Severus came to his senses and did what he'd been wanting to do for far too many years.
Severus strode out of the field, leaving the barely conscious Blue under the haystack. He smirked somewhat smugly, then winced at the throb in his leg. Next time he needed to knee someone hard in the groin, he would remember to lift these damned steel hoops out of the way first.
A/N Sorry it's so short, and I can't promise the rest are much longer. Next up: What's Hermione up to?
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Latest 25 Reviews for Rhyme and Reason
59 Reviews | 7.29/10 Average
Very cute story. Entertaining indeed.
Funny and unique way to get them together - very interesting.
Interesting - the are now half undressed - I cannot wait to see what happens next.
Good set-up of them both thinking that they want to set this to rights because they want more -cannot wait to see what happens.
What a sensual little scene between Hermione and Remus the wolf - later - oh man he does not know her very well.
The latest chapter was cute and funny - the whole Blue/Black episode was cute - good writing.
Oh crap - when Severus is angry like this - he is so scary - I thought he was going to strike her almost - I cannot wait to read the next chapter to find out what happened to them.
Interesting first chapter - I cannot wait to see what happens with this book and if they survived the fall.
I do not blame her from running - wand or no - Severus can be scary as all get out when angered.
Oh this was loads of fun! I am so glad you wrote it! 
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it - I enjoyed writing it 
Oi!! Don't blame me!!!I'm innocent, i tell ya!!!It's all tubbles' fault. And lotm. I'm completely innocent. (i wish)-=Liz=-
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Hahaha - methinks the lady doth protest to much!wormey's response: I'm notgoing to agree with you on the grounds that I like being in the Mob...
-Liz
This was hysterical! I laughed out loud at the image of Snape in a hoop skirt. It was very enjoyable. And that particular wolf Remus was rather quite interesting as well. Great response to the challenge!
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
I'm glad you liked it. Wolf has signed up for the sequel, along with a whole new cast list
. Release date: next December.
Muahahaha! Black deserved it! Oh, sorry... Blue deserved it.
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Hehe. I like fulfilling Severus's fantasies ;)
ROFLMAO!!!! That was soo cute! I can just imagine Snape in a get-up like that! My God, he has to be livid! I love it! I look forward to more!
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Yes, not a happy Snape. There is more of the dress to come :D
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Yes, not a happy Snape. There is more of the dress to come :D
Very entertaining. Snape really should be more careful about scaring random people -- B
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
He's eventually going to regret scaring Hermione, in more ways than one. Thanks for the review.
Little Bo Snape has lost his, um...darn it, there's nothign apropos to rhyme with 'Snape'! Or 'Snark'--Ooh, I have it!
Little Sev Peep has snarled at his sheep, and she's run off into the wood! He can't change the dress, and is stuck in this mess--but the next chapter is sure to be good!
...More, please! ~Lotm
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Hahahahacoughsplutter *reaches for cough remedy*
I'm uploading as fast as I can, and am already working (in collaberation) on the Seasonal sequel.
I'm, also working, on, my overenthusiastic; punctuation.':,.;!! :)
so where is the rest of the story?
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
I'm only allowed to upload 2 chapters at a time for validation, so as soon as one is posted I upload another. Then I have to wait until the wonderful and hardworking Admins finish tutting at my lousy punctuation. Don't worry, it's getting there :) *runs off to upload next chapter*
Hahaha... Love the comparison of the Weasleys with the woman that lived in a shoe! And Bo Peep? ahahahahha! Priceless
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Glad you're enjoying it :)
Fun. Love Snape in the dress
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
I had much more fun with Snape in that dress than I could have imagined before I started, although I think it was the frilly knickers that got me hooked :D
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Sevie in a dress! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nicely done! Poor Sevie with the emotional issues too. MORE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!
THE Tubbles
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
You do realise this is all your fault, don't you? I've even credited you as being to blame in the notes after the last chapter.
Response from tubbles14 (Reviewer)
Of course it's my fault! It's always my fault and I revel in that fact! I'm like the Goddess of mischief and chaos. Bask in my confusing and annoying presence!
*incert evil cackle here*
TUBBLES!
very interesting start
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Thank you. I hope I can keep people interested.
I can't wait to see what happens next! hehe great start!
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Thanks :)
Hmm. Needs More, Please! ~Lotm
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
As soon as I can get through validation :) It's complete, just 8 short chapters.
very good start! I am looking forward to reading more!
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
Thank you. More is on the way.
I can imagine snape so clearly. Hahaha! Too funny. I'm interested in seeing who lives in the home they are going to.
Response from DawnEB (Author of Rhyme and Reason)
It's a refuge for those extra commas you keep evicting for me :D Thank you