Darkness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.

A big hug of thanks to Sequana for beta-ing this chapter for me.

--

Chapter 5: Darkness

St. Mungo's had been rather put out when Hermione had applied for her long-service leave. They were going to have a hard time filling in her position for six months with someone anywhere near as competent as she was. However, despite their reluctance to let her go for that long, they agreed that she had been working there for a significant time without having taken any holidays prior to the one she was requesting, and therefore deserved a break. Hermione had used the stress that she had been suffering from as a result of the newspaper articles and non-direct attacks on her as another plausible excuse for taking leave.

She had been on leave for just over a week by this point and had Apparated to Hogwarts to do some research no less than five times during that period. Not only was she sick of going back and forth between the school and her home, she was also sick of the mail that the general public continued to bombard her with. She received the owls even at Hogwarts and had been sent as many letters that contained hexes as she had Howlers. Each and every single one was another embarrassment.

Madam Pince, for her part, had been very sympathetic to Hermione and, as she had always admired the former Head Girl, had readily agreed to grant her access to the Library whenever she needed it. Hermione, in return, took care of the Library when the librarian went on a break or had to go away for the day. That day, Madam Pince had to go on a trip overseas to visit a relative of hers, so Hermione was seated at the front desk doing her research while simultaneously maintaining order.

'Ms Granger?' asked a voice from before her at the desk.

Hermione looked up to see that a student was standing there waiting for her. It was a small, rather skinny and awkward-looking girl with wire-rimmed glasses and mousy hair tied in plaits. 'How can I help you?' she replied.

'Oh, my friends and I were wondering if you would sign these for us,' she murmured softly, pushing a stack of newspaper clippings towards her.

Hermione instantly went on guard, thinking that it had to be some sort of practical joke, but as soon as she took a better look, she saw that the articles were, in fact, from back after the end of the Final Battle. In the pictures, she was still eighteen years old and smiling cheerfully, standing between her two best friends in most of them. She couldn't help but to grin at the young girls then, and signed their articles quickly, until she came to the very last one. It was a photo of the entire Order. She was standing in the background slightly, and right behind her was Severus, who had a blank expression on his face.

Nobody knew it, but the only reason why Hermione had been smiling for that photo in particular was because he had been discreetly rubbing one of his hands over her back to encourage her. He had whispered for her to smile for him, and she had, brighter than she ever had before. Little did anyone know either, that in all of the photos where she could be found smiling, it was because she could always see Severus watching her and waiting for her to finish and go home with him.

She felt tears well up in her eyes at the thought, but quickly blinked them away and swallowed, signing the last article and sending the girls on their way. She closed the doors and locked them for lunchtime, not caring that she would be depriving the know-it-alls of the school of their lunch domain. They could all use a walk around the castle anyway. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, wondering why thinking about Severus was affecting her so. She had moved on from him years ago – surely it was supposed to have stopped hurting by now.

Sighing heavily, she stood from her seat and left the library, heading down to the Great Hall to get something to eat. Some food would likely make her feel better, and this way she had a chance to catch up with Minerva and Albus. She had been so busy confining herself to the Library that she hardly saw anyone save for Madam Pince, Severus, and the occasional student. On arriving, she walked to the staff table and went immediately to her former Head of House and the Headmaster.

'Hermione, I am so glad you decided to join us!' Minerva exclaimed cheerfully. 'I was worried that you wouldn't be coming down for lunch again today.'

Hermione smiled at the older woman. 'I wouldn't miss it for the world,' she said, causing the Deputy Headmistress to beam at her. 'Irma is away, so I was taking care of the library for her – I just thought I would take a short break while the students are all down here eating before heading back up.'

'Hermione, you are not obliged to stay in the library at all times while you are relieving Irma of her duties,' Albus said softly, reaching out and patting one of her hands. 'Now, take a seat and have something to eat. There is no need for rushing.'

She obeyed without question, knowing that arguing with Albus was as pointless as, or even more so than, arguing with Severus himself. Taking the empty chair beside Minerva where Irma Pince usually sat, she helped herself to some sandwiches and pumpkin juice and began to eat contentedly. Five minutes into lunch, the staff door opened, and Hermione saw Severus walk in. His voluminous robes brushed against her back slightly as he strode past, which caused her to sit up straighter in her seat. Being around him again was frightening and disconcerting.

'So, Hermione – I have not had a chance to ask you what has brought you to Hogwarts,' Minerva said, her voice lilting and just loud enough for Severus to hear.

Hermione resisted the urge to groan at Minerva's obvious question. The old cat just wanted to hear her say it. 'Well, as you know very well, there has been a lot of negative press about me all over the papers in recent times, and it has been causing rather a lot of grief for me and the people around me,' she said slowly. 'This has also resulted in the incapacitation of my ex-husband and has thus resulted in my coming here. I asked Professor Snape to assist me in the task of discovering my tormentors and in finding a cure for Michael.'

That being said, she returned to the task of eating her food, aware of the three pairs of eyes gazing at her. Severus' gaze was felt worse than the other two. She could feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of her head. He must despise her so. But really – the only one he could blame for the failure of their relationship was himself. It was his fault for letting her walk out the door. It was his fault for not following her and asking her to reconsider. But she knew that Severus would never see it that way. He had a way of twisting the story around in his mind and warping it to mean something different.

What Hermione did not know, however, was just how wrong she was.

Severus sat stiffly in his seat, staring down at his plate, occasionally casting glances in Hermione's direction, not feeling even so much as an ounce of hatred for her. His chest ached from their close proximity, and he felt the defensive ice creep into his eyes, trying to protect himself from being found out. How pathetic she would think he was if she ever found out just how much he was still in love with her? Clenching his fist around his goblet, he felt a slight give before the force of his grip shattered it. He stared down at the blood beginning to dribble down his wrist, soaking the white sleeve of his shirt that peaked from his black frockcoat, which was also wet, undoubtedly with his own blood.

He looked around him sharply and saw that more that the staff were looking at him and that the students nearest to the staff table had also heard and seen what he had done to the glass. Growling in the back of his throat, he stood up abruptly, releasing the remnants of the goblet that were not imbedded in his flesh. He pushed his chair back, sweeping out of the hall through the staff door. Severus felt himself grow warm with embarrassment at losing control of himself that way – especially with some of his own students witnessing it.

He went to the hospital wing where, luckily, Poppy Pomfrey had decided to dine that lunch hour. 'Poppy, I am in need of your assistance,' he said abruptly, bursting into her office.

She jumped out of her chair when she had heard his voice barking at her. 'Oh, Severus, what on earth have you done to yourself now?' Poppy fussed in a motherly way, tugging him to sit on her office chair and unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and coat to gain better access to his wound.

'I broke a goblet at lunch,' he explained meekly, not bothering to make any excuses. Poppy had known him since he was eleven years old and had healed him more times than he could count or remember. She had been like a mother to him – especially since his fourth year when his own mother had passed away from a Muggle disease called tetanus. 'I figured you would do a better job than I would.'

'Well, at least you had enough sense to come up here to see me,' she huffed, setting to work on carefully removing the glass with a spell. 'How on earth did you manage to break the goblet?'

'I lost control of myself,' he said quietly, the both of them silently acknowledging his restrained power. He was physically and magically more powerful than most, and often had to hold back in order for people or objects to remain whole. 'I just held the glass too tightly when I was distracted with other thoughts.'

Poppy clucked her tongue. 'You, my dear boy, have to learn how to multitask,' she told him seriously. 'We can't have you off with the faeries and in the meantime destroying more of the castle.'

He frowned at her reminder of all the walls he had blasted holes through and the doors he had blown off the hinges throughout the castle. Albus personally did not mind so long as he fixed the damage afterwards, but it still scared the hell out of people when it happened. Hermione, however, in their time together, had never once shown even so much as a hint of fear of his strength and powers. This, in part, was because Hermione Granger was powerful in her own right, and one of the most remarkable students to have ever passed through the halls of Hogwarts.

He watched as the last of the glass was spelled out of his hand and then allowed Poppy to wash and heal it seamlessly, leaving no trace of a scar to be seen. She was always a professional when it came to her field of work. He could not have done anywhere near as good a job. He sighed and stood from the chair, letting his healed hand rest on Poppy's shoulder, giving it somewhat of an affectionate squeeze.

'Thank you, Poppy,' he said, bestowing a small, uneasy smile on her.

She smiled back at him warmly, pleased to see that this dark, troubled young man still had enough in him to do so. 'Tell me, Severus, what it is that troubles you so?' she asked kindly, reaching out and embracing him in a motherly way.

'Don't let it worry you,' Severus told her quietly, locking his emotions away once more and standing up rigidly. 'I will deal with it on my own.'

The nurse shook her head. 'It is not good to bottle things up, Severus. You need to talk to people,' she informed him, sounding very much like Albus did.

He nodded and walked out of her office, moving towards the doors to leave the hospital wing. On reaching the doors, he ran into someone and was about to snarl at them, but felt the words catch in his throat when he stepped back and saw that it was Hermione. She had an expression on her face that he could not read. He found reading her now more difficult than it had been in the past. This Hermione was definitely a woman.

'Are you alright?' she asked, sounding a little breathless.

'I don't believe that is any of your business, Ms Granger,' he said coldly, stepping to the side and brushing past her, chest aching painfully as he did.

Hermione spun around and watched him leave, gaping and feeling the tears well up in her eyes. She felt a light pressure on her elbow and looked to see Poppy standing beside her.

'Don't let it concern you, dear. He's just being himself,' she said gently.

Hermione shook her head. 'I have to work with him and I don't know what to do,' she said softly, a single tear making the crooked journey down one of her cheeks.

--

A/N – Another chapter down, and more to come soon! Please don't forget to review!