Decisions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.

A big hug of thanks must go to Madbrilliant for the beta of this chapter!

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Chapter 3: Decisions

The halls of Hogwarts were quiet that night. On an ordinary night, there would be little miscreants running around all over the place, pulling pranks, planning misdeeds, or attempting to copulate in dark corners. Severus Snape hated nights like these where he was unable to take off house points. Taking out his personal frustrations on his students had always been very therapeutic for him, and by not having the chance to, he was likely going to wake up even fouler the next day.

He huffed silently to himself. Why couldn't they just come out of their common rooms for a few minutes? It would have made him feel so much better – especially after the letter he had received earlier that evening. He had just been sitting down in his private study to do some marking for the fifth-year essays that had come in that day when an owl had begun tapping furiously on the window, demanding entrance to his domain. He had reluctantly let it inside, and the fact that he recognized the owl and gave it a treat before sending it off meant nothing at all.

Neither did the fact that he knew the owl belonged to Hermione Granger, even before he had seen her tidy, round cursive on the letter it carried. He knew because he had given her that owl on her 18th birthday, two months before she had graduated. He kept telling himself that he really didn't care that she had written to him. But he knew very well that he was just lying to himself and that he did care. Try as he may, Severus had been unable to ignore Hermione since she had graduated from Hogwarts. Hell – he'd even had a tough time ignoring her as his student.

He sighed heavily, leaning against the windowsill of one of the windows on the fifth floor. It was a very cold night beyond the walls of the castle. Decidedly, he pulled the letter out of one of the pockets lining the inside of his robes and looked at the unbroken seal. He had yet to read it. Somehow, he was afraid that reading it would make him feel more pain than he was already feeling. He rubbed his thumb idly over the purple wax, smiling fondly for a moment at the all-too-familiar seal.

It had been her seal before her marriage to the Auror.

Shutting his eyes for a moment to block out the unwanted image of Hermione with that idiot ex-husband of hers, he flicked the seal with his thumbnail and unfolded the letter cautiously. Her familiar cursive made his chest constrict slightly, and he forced the emotions back down, determined not to allow his facial expressions betray him. Severus Snape could not be seen showing emotion in any way.

Severus,

Hermione J. Granger

He rubbed a hand over his eyes. This was a lot more complicated than he had anticipated coming up against. She needed his help. Everything in him was leaning towards walking out of the castle and Apparating over to her the second he passed through the front gates. But his carefully restrained sense of self-control reigned in that desire. He would have to give it some thought. Even looking at the words on the page was causing pain. The thought of working so closely with her once more was both a daunting and thrilling prospect to him.

'Severus?' asked a soft voice from behind him.

The dark-haired man looked over his shoulder at his employer and friend, Albus Dumbledore. He schooled his face to a decided neutral and pushed away from the windowsill, walking over to the older man. 'What can I do for you this evening, Albus?' he asked wearily.

'Come to my office, my boy,' he commanded in a soft tone that left little room for argument. 'We'll have a nice, hot cup of tea and some cake.'

Severus rolled his eyes in at the irony of it. Of course Albus would show up at the exact time that he was having an inner emotional crisis. He swore the old coot knew more about what went on in the castle than the founders had when they had first built it. He did, however, follow the man grudgingly down to the fourth floor and up the stairs past the gargoyle guarding the office. Albus flicked his hand and the fireplace lit up, and Severus saw that tea things were already set out on the coffee table in front of the fire and in between the two armchairs there.

'Have a seat by the fire, my boy,' Albus directed.

Doing as he was bid, Severus then proceeded to pour tea for the both of them while Albus was over at his desk, fluffing around, and eyed the cake. In the end, he decided he did not want to risk choking on ancient fruitcake. The Headmaster soon joined him and immediately took a piece of cake, biting into it with the vigor of a Weasley male that had gone a few hours without food. Needless to say, Severus expressed a look of clear distaste before taking a sip of his black tea.

'I know why you asked me here, old man,' Severus growled softly. 'Don't think I do not know your game. I've been working for you for over twenty-five years, and I know your methods. You are trying to force me to admit aloud something that you very well already know.'

'Whatever are you talking about, Severus?' Albus said with a smile on his face as he took a mouthful of his tea, having consumed his piece of cake.

Severus bit his lip. 'Damn you, Albus! You know I got a letter from Hermione, and I bloody well know that you know what it's all about!' he said angrily, his frustration becoming evident. 'You likely also know that I am extremely conflicted about this, and chose to purposely interrupt me while I was thinking about it to force me into this conversation with you.'

'Oh, you think you have it all figured out, my boy,' Albus said, shaking his head. 'You do, however, need to talk about this and get it out of your system. It's not good to bottle your feelings and emotions the way you have been.'

'Albus, what more do you want me to admit to you? That I was in love with Hermione Granger from the moment she returned to the castle for her seventh year? That we had a relationship for nearly two years after she graduated? Or is it possible that you would like to hear me admit that I am still very much in love with her?'

'That is your business,' Albus said softly. 'But I would like to know if you intend to help her out of the situation that she finds herself in.'

'You know I will,' Severus answered quietly. 'You know how I feel about her still – I could never turn her away, no matter how much seeing her would hurt me.'

'She loved you a great deal, Severus,' he older wizard said.

Severus frowned. 'She was the one who left me, Albus,' he said gruffly, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose to chase away a headache. 'I...'

'You still love her very much, and seeing her suffer because of another man is causing you to want to protect her like you did when you were together,' Albus said simply.

'She's not weak – not by any stretch of the imagination,' Severus commented blandly. 'She just needs help fining the people that are wronging her.'

'And you will find them and help her put them away,' Albus said seriously, setting down his empty teacup. 'Now, I think it is a reasonably late hour, and we ought to go to bed. I think that you have made Ms. Granger wait quite long enough for a reply from you, and I do believe your Lysander is eager for some exercise and a hunt tonight.'

Severus nodded and bid the Headmaster goodnight before Flooing directly from the office to the sitting room in his chambers. He went immediately to the study, wondering how Albus had managed to help him make up his mind in such a short time once again. It was always that way with him. Grabbing a sheet of parchment, he picked up his favourite quill, which just so happened to be the one Hermione had given him for Christmas the first year they had been together, and began to write.

After several attempts, he was finally happy with a letter, instantly crossed the study to his dark eagle owl, Lysander, and stroked his feathered head to wake him. 'Come now, I have a letter for you to take to Hermione,' he said as he coaxed the owl.

As soon as Hermione's name was mentioned, the owl hooted softly and stuck out a leg, opening his eyes fully. Severus knew he had been faking it. Tying the letter to his leg, he opened the window and let the owl launch off his arm and into the night. Lysander knew exactly where he was going. Shaking his head and smiling ruefully, Severus left his study and went to his bathroom, stripping off his robes, frockcoat, and shirt. He waved his hand to turn on the shower before dropping his trousers and kicking all of his clothing to the side along with his shoes and socks.

After showering and washing both his hair and body, he dried off and dressed in his long pajama bottoms, falling onto his bed. He closed his eyes and, not for the first time, fell asleep thinking about the woman he was in love with still. When he woke the next morning, he was in a slightly better mood than the night before, but he would still need at least two cups of coffee before he would be able to carry on a civil conversation with any of his colleagues.

He dressed in his customary black and went up to the Great Hall, sitting himself on Albus' side as usual, immediately reaching for the coffee pot. Albus was unsurprised by these actions and thankfully held off on talking until he had consumed half of the cup. It was a few sips into his second cup that Severus decided to pay attention to Albus' soft coughs to gain his attention.

'Are you coming down with something, Albus? Or are you just choking on your food?' he asked in a low, silky voice.

'Not at all,' Albus said with a jovial grin. 'Did Lysander enjoy his flight last night?'

Severus shrugged. 'I wouldn't know – he has yet to return from his little jaunt in the countryside last night,' he muttered, stabbing his fork into the scrambled eggs on his plate idly.

'So, when can we expect her to visit?' he asked, not bothering to be the least bit discreet about the entire conversation.

As a consequence, Minerva's eyes turned to him curiously from Albus' other side. 'Who is coming here?' she asked, staring between the two of them looking for an explanation. 'Well, come on and just tell me before all of my hair turns silver.'

'Why, Hermione Granger, of course,' Albus said with a twinkle.

Severus almost groaned out loud from the look on her face and the way her jaw gaped open unattractively. 'Minerva, do close your mouth. It is not dignified for a woman of your distinction,' he said curtly, forking some eggs into his mouth and concentrating on chewing to block her out.

'You had better explain when she comes, Severus Snape,' she said with a huff.

He sighed and nodded reluctantly.