Chapter 5

Friday, June 7th

Hermione Granger's Flat

Hermione was in the middle of changing her clothes for bed when the sound of someone pounding on her door drifted to the back of her flat. Reaching for her robe, she strolled, barefoot, to the front room. Her eyes wandered to the clock on the mantle of her fireplace, noting that it was nearly midnight before she peeked through the eyehole to see who it was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked sharply, pulling the door open.

"Do I need a reason to be here, Granger?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"If I invite you over, no. If you just randomly pop in, then yes."

"Ah, so, I'm only allowed when it's convenient; how utterly cosmopolitan of you. After spending nearly every night here for the last few weeks, I thought I'd warrant a better reception than this."

"Contrary to what you might believe, I don't need to have you underfoot at every juncture to live a fulfilling life. This isn't a relationship; we fuck, and that is it."

He pulled her roughly to him and lowered his head to hers. His lips crushed hers in a bruising kiss. Her body had no more than melted against his before he released her in a quick gesture. She flushed slightly as she wobbled a bit, trying to regain her balance.

"I suppose that means I should go," he whispered hoarsely, watching her with hooded eyes.

"Fucker," she snarled, grabbing the front of his robe and jerking him to her. They stumbled backwards into her apartment as her mouth met his. He nudged the door with his foot as they tottered past it.

"Does this mean I'm invited?" he growled against her lips as they fell onto the floor. She arched up against him as his hand slipped under her shirt; his short, blunt fingers flicked against her right nipple.

"Will you shut up and fuck me already?" she grunted, pulling at his robes.

He chuckled against her lips. "Shall I take that as a yes?"

~~oOo~~oOo~~oOo~~

Saturday, June 8th

Rose Cottage

"You hardly look awake, dear," Molly fussed, handing Josie a cup of coffee.

"Probably because it's an indecent hour to be awake, Molly."

"Aren't you just bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning," Ron quipped, grabbing a muffin from the table.

Molly slapped at his hand. "You just ate, Ronald," she scolded him.

"I'm a growing boy, Mum," he replied, shoving it into his mouth.

"More like growing a hollow leg," snickered Josie.

"Finish your coffee." Molly handed Josie a plate piled with eggs, beans, a cooked tomato, and a few slices of bacon.

"Molly, you really didn't have to bring me breakfast," Josie protested, eyeing the mass of food.

"Nonsense, dear, you haven't anything here to eat, and you'll need something sustaining to get through today."

"Yeah," Ron smirked, snagging a piece of Josie's bacon.

"Uncle Ron," squealed Alice as she rushed into the kitchen. She launched herself at the seated wizard.

"Well, if it isn't the princess," he grunted, catching her as she pounced. "Shouldn't you be dressed in the finest gowns and a crown, my dear?"

"No, silly," Alice giggled. "You don't wear a crown to bed; it would hurt."

"Oh, do forgive my lack of fashion etiquette, your Highness," he replied, kissing her nose.

"Good morning, Alice," Molly said, placing a plate of food, much like Josie's, in front of the little girl.

"Morning, Nana Molly." Alice turned around in Ron's lap and tugged him down to her. "Do you wanna share?" she whispered in his ear. "My stomach isn't big enough to eat it all."

"What time will Fred and George get here?" Josie asked, reaching for her cup of coffee.

"Any time now, Arthur went off to their shop about an hour ago," Molly replied, pouring herself a cup of tea. She leaned her hip against the counter and took a cautious sip. "If I know my boys, they probably were still lazing about, so I'm sure Arthur had to kick them out of bed."

"Nana Molly, can we bake cookies at the new house later today?" Alice asked, feeding a piece of bacon to Ron.

"I don't see why not, dearie," Molly answered. "In fact, if you want, you can spend the day helping me in the kitchen, we'll let everyone else do the heavy work."

~~oOo~~oOo~~oOo~~

Saturday, June 8th

Craig Mhor

"The house comes with a what?" Josie squeaked, giving Hermione a hard glare. "What on earth will I do with one of those?"

"Well, it's actually two, and you let them help out."

"Help out?" Josie griped. "Look, I'm not even sure I want one house-elf, much less two, and I'm supposed to let them help out? What if they start breeding?"

"Josie," Hermione hissed out in an annoyed voice. "You are at a serious disadvantage here. There are things you just cannot deal with, and there isn't always going to be someone available to come and rescue you if you get swatted by a curse or bitten by a magical pest."

"Fine," Josie replied in a resigned voice. "What are they supposed to do?"

"Whatever you need them to, within reason. They have their own special brand of magic, and the first duty of a house-elf is the welfare and well being of its charges. That means they will take care of any magical menaces; they're attuned to the house itself, so they can get past almost any wards, and they are sickeningly eager to please."

"Wonderful," Josie grimaced. "You still haven't answered my question, though. What if they start breeding? I mean, are they like cats? Do they have litters of little baby house-elves? Will I have to potty train them, or worse, change diapers?"

Hermione shuddered. "Thank you, I so needed that vision of house-elf sex," she bit out with a grimace. "I really don't think you'll have that problem. One, they're only able to produce offspring once every six years, and two, both of the elves are older females, well past the age where they would have babies."

"When should I expect them?"

"They should already be here, though if they aren't, they should arrive at any moment. If it helps, just think of them as a shorter, older version of Molly."

"Great," groaned Josie, "just what I need, two more voices fussing over me, trying to fatten me up."

~~oOo~~oOo~~oOo~~

Saturday, June 8th

Craig Mhor

"Should I worry about where this leads to?" Josie asked, handing Hermione a box of dishes.

"No," grunted Hermione, taking the box. "I had the workmen try to open the cellar yesterday; I was hoping to get anything dangerous out of the way, in case Alice made her way down there, but the door just would not budge. I even had them take the hinges off, in an attempt to get it loose, and after that failed, we tried brute force, in an endeavor to break it down, but nothing happened. Whatever sort of spell or locking mechanism is on it, I have no idea how to remove," Hermione huffed as she hauled a box past the cellar door. "I would suggest you just ignore it, since I doubt you'll be able to get in, and make it sound as unpleasant as possible so Alice isn't tempted to try and explore."

"Lovely," grumbled Josie, "give me an impossible task why don't you. Try to persuade a child away from a mysterious challenge; I think I'd have better luck trying to get you to have hot, torrid sex with Ron."

"Ew," squealed Hermione, "are you trying to turn my stomach today? First, you plant an image of house-elf sex in my head, and now you're trying to make me poke my eyes out. Please, Ron and sex just do not go together."

"Oi, why are you two hauling the boxes like that?" came a voice from behind them.

"Wouldn't it make sense to either leave them shrunk or levitate them?" asked another voice as the box floated out of Hermione's hands.

"That's easy for you to say, George," Josie groused, pointing a finger at the ginger-haired wizard.

"Hey," responded Fred, stepping around his brother, "it's not like we haven't offered to make you a potion to help with that."

"As if she'd be stupid enough to take anything you two concocted," snorted Hermione.

"Why," started Fred.

"Not?" finished George.

"Oh, I don't know; perhaps the fact that you turned Alice into a pink canary on her last birthday?" responded Hermione.

"No, I think it was Ton-Tongue Toffees," Josie interjected. "I swear my tongue and lips still haven't recovered from the allergic reaction I had."

"How were we supposed to know that you were allergic..." George began in a defensive tone.

"To the main ingredient in the Deflation Potion and that you'd have a massive reaction to it?" asked Fred, finishing George's sentence.

"Will you two grow up? The whole finishing one another's sentences is annoying," snapped Hermione. "It's like you own one brain; do you two do anything on your own, or is it always together?"

"Now, Hermione, if you wanted to know if we do everything together," Fred replied with a cheeky grin, "all you had to do was ask."

"Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Are you sure?" George asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You two are incorrigible," laughed Josie, pushing past George.

"Yes, but you love us this way," he replied, pulling her into a hug.

"Gerroff," Josie squealed, pushing him away. "You're all wet, smelly, and gross."

~~oOo~~oOo~~oOo~~

Saturday, June 8th

Craig Mhor

"Mum," Alice called out. "Mummy, come here."

"Where is here?" Josie called up the stairs.

Alice raced to the top of the stairs and peered down at Josie. "Come on, Mummy, you have to see this." She darted away before Josie could respond.

Josie climbed the stairs, wondering what had Alice so excited. Just as she neared the top step, Alice rushed down the hall and grabbed her hand.

"You have to see this," Alice huffed out excitedly, pulling Josie down the hall.

"See what?" Josie asked as they neared a closed door.

"This," Alice said vaguely, throwing open the door.

Josie peered into the room, noting that all of Alice's bedroom furniture had been set up and her belongings put away.

"You've been busy, love. It looks like you've already got all your toys unpacked," Josie said, ruffling her daughter's hair.

"No, not that," Alice insisted moving into the room. "Oh, no," she wailed, "it's gone."

"What's gone? Do you mean one of the house-elves?"

"No," Alice sniffled. "Nana Molly and me already met Myrea and Tinker. They helped me do my room." She turned to Josie. "There was a kitty in here. I shut the door so it wouldn't get out, b –but, he's gone," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around Josie's waist.

"Honey, are you sure it was a kitten?"

Alice nodded her head. "It was black all over, except for a white spot on its nose," she whispered.

"Well," Josie said, brushing her hand through Alice's hair, "he's not here now. How about we keep an eye out for him; though, I don't know if we can keep him if we find him. How about we ask Aunt Hermione about the cat, okay?"

"Yes, Mummy," Alice sighed, wiping her face. "Do you think if Aunt Hermione says it's okay, that I could keep him? Please?"

"We'll see," Josie muttered.

~~oOo~~oOo~~oOo~~

A/N:

I'd like to thank Rachel W for catching all my grammar mistakes and Mark for trying to put a little Brit in me (that sounds suspiciously dirty). The whole little house-elf breeding sequence can be blamed, entirely, on Larilee (she knows why).

I have no idea if the eggs, beans, cooked tomato, and bacon are standard fare for an English breakfast, but I distinctly remember being served this on many occasions the few times I've been across the pond. However, sometimes there was a variation of kippers and mushrooms added to the mix along with a hot dog like sausage (which are nothing like American sausages). I'll go into the whole haggis fiasco another time (believe me, its an unusual experience).