XXIII: Fractured Friendships

Chapter XXIII: Fractured Friendships

It was a disgrace. A seventh-year! Poppy had a good mind to tell the girl off for having been careless and thinking with her crotch, but she held her tongue. Morgana wasn't the first girl to get pregnant while still at school, and she would definitely not be the last one either. And like all the others, she seemed confused and scared. The last thing she needed now was a lecture.

'I will give you a potion for your morning sickness, dear,' Poppy explained instead. 'It is perfectly safe for the baby and will stop the nausea and enable you to eat. And this draught here should counteract any dizziness or headache.'

Morgana tried not to sneer. Safe for the baby. As if it mattered. In three months' time that baby would be gone. But she mustn't tell Poppy, of course. She had even wholeheartedly said yes when the mediwitch had asked her if she were planning on keeping the baby.

Oh, if Poppy knew. She would hex Dumbledore into the next century for coming up with such a cruel plan. And the more Morgana thought about it, the more she disliked the plan herself. This was her child, after all. Hers and Lucius'.

'It is important that you drink lots of fluids so you don't get dehydrated,' Poppy went on, and her words ripped Morgana out of her thoughts.

Get a grip on yourself, Morgana, she thought.

She must not think about this baby as her child. It would never be born. She was to carry it to give Dumbledore and his people time to strengthen their defences against the Dark Lord. Then she would drink a potion to rid herself of it. She must not get attached to this baby. As for Lucius, she knew that she must not get attached to him either.

But he said he loved me ...

'I would like to see you every second week, dear, to check your progress,' Poppy declared. 'But in the meantime, if there is anything you want to know or if you just want to talk, you come and find me, alright? And if there are any irregular symptoms, if you start to feel unwell or if you are hurting, you come to see me straight away. Day or night.'

Morgana nodded. It felt strange having someone fussing over her like this, and she almost flinched away as Poppy put her hand on her shoulder.

'I am obliged to inform your Head of House of your condition, Morgana,' the mediwitch declared with a firm yet kind tone, and once more Morgana nodded silently. Snape knew already, of course. But yet again, she mustn't tell Poppy about that.

Five minutes after Poppy had contacted him from the fireplace in her office, Snape came striding into the ward like a black tempest.

'There better be a good reason for asking me to come here before eight o'clock, Poppy,' he snarled, and Poppy instinctively placed herself between him and the curtain behind which Morgana was waiting.

'Severus,' she started. 'I have to inform you that a student of your House is with child.'

'Miss Belakane, I assume.'

Poppy's eyebrow shot up, and she looked at Snape as if someone had just hit her over the head with a Bludger. She was not often lost for words, but now she had to concentrate so her jaw would not drop all the way to the floor. The girl had told Snape already? Now that must have taken some guts!

'I am happy to inform you that the girl is doing fine,' Poppy said once she had found her voice again. 'She is suffering from morning sickness, but that is quite normal. Nothing some potion cannot take care of. But there are some things that need to be discussed. Come, Severus.'

Poppy pulled open the curtain, and Snape hesitated for the fraction of a second. He had been mentally preparing for this moment for three weeks now. He had never doubted that his potion would work and hence been convinced that the girl would fall pregnant on Valentine's. But being here in the hospital wing, and Poppy telling him that Morgana was indeed with child, made the whole thing official. And Snape hated himself for having had a hand in the girl's insemination. Just as much as he hated the fact that he would be the one to brew the potion that would terminate the pregnancy as well.

'Good morning, sir,' Morgana mumbled, and Snape nodded curtly in her direction. Was he imagining things or was the girl unusually pale?

'Have you taken your potion, dear?' Poppy inquired. 'Is it staying down?'

Morgana nodded.

'Now, you may get some other side effects, too, love,' Poppy went on. 'You will probably feel very tired. And you may start becoming hyper-tidy and wanting to clean things. That's the nesting instinct.'

'Did you make me come here to listen to this, Poppy?' Snape interrupted her. 'Because I can assure you that I have better things to do.'

'I do indeed think it prudent for you to listen to this, Severus,' Poppy declared, a slight hint of anger in her voice. 'Since you are Morgana's Head of House, I assume that you have her best interest at heart. Her schedule needs to be adjusted. No Potions, for example.'

'This had already been taken care of, Poppy,' Snape snapped. 'Now if you will excuse me, the Headmaster has to be informed of the girl's condition. Miss Belakane, you are coming with me.'

And before either Poppy or Morgana could protest, Snape was already billowing out of the ward.

* * *

She had thrown up the little breakfast she had been able to eat, and jogging along after Snape on an empty stomach demanded more strength than Morgana had at the moment. And half way up the spiral staircase that led to Dumbledore's office, she stopped dead in her tracks and grabbed on to the wall, breathing heavily. She could literally feel the blood leave her face and had to close her eyes to keep the world around her from spinning.

'Miss Belakane, the Headmaster is waiting. And I have classes to teach.'

Snape sounded angry, and the sound of his voice made Morgana flinch just as much his hand on her upper arm as he clutched it.

'I am not doing this on purpose,' she brought out between gritted teeth. How dare he make her feel as if all of this were her fault? It was not as if she had got herself knocked up due to being careless. She was not to blame here!

Snape inhaled sharply. 'I never said you were,' he growled and continued his way up the stairs, guiding the girl firmly but not roughly ahead of him, glad that she did not turn around to look at him.

He should have protected her. He should have told Dumbledore that he would not let a student of his become a pawn in this giant game of Wizard chess. He should have told the Dark Lord that he could not get the girl out of the castle. He should have refused to give the girl the potion and told Lucius that she was infertile or something. Should have. But had not. And now it was too late.

Dumbledore was sitting at his desk as they entered and was now looking up at them, his blue eyes twinkling behind his spectacles. 'Ah, Severus, Morgana!' he exclaimed. 'Poppy informed me that you might be on your way.'

He got up and made his way towards Morgana. 'Do not take this the wrong way, dear child, but you look terrible. And all out of breath.'

He guided her towards a fluffy armchair and made her sit down before fixing Snape with an accusing stare. 'Really, Severus, there was no need to run all the way up here.'

'I was not running, Headmaster,' Snape snapped.

'Of course you weren't, Severus.'

Dumbledore turned back to Morgana and offered her a glass of water. 'How are you feeling, child?'

'Headmaster, this child is three weeks pregnant, not an invalid,' Snape interrupted Dumbledore's cooing. The old man had no right to be playing the good uncle now. He was one of the perpetrators here!

'Have you ever been pregnant, Severus?' Dumbledore asked casually, his eyes still on Morgana.

'You do not seriously expect me to answer that question, do you, Headmaster?'

'Well, have you, Severus?'

Dumbledore was now looking straight at him, and Snape seriously considered throwing Avada Kedavra at the man just to close those ever-so-twinkling eyes for good.

'Women all over the world have managed to cope doing basic things whilst pregnant since the beginning of time,' he pointed out instead, clenching his fists behind his back. 'I will not have Miss Belakane's pregnancy as an excuse for sympathy.'

'This has nothing to do with sympathy, Severus,' Dumbledore replied in a calm tone. 'Now I would like you to stop scowling and have a seat instead.' Then he turned back to Morgana. 'Feeling better, Morgana?'

Morgana nodded quickly but kept her eyes cast down. She was certain that looking up and catching Snape's eyes would reduce her to a puddle of tears. She did not expect sympathy from him, as he had put it so nicely. But he could at least stop snapping at her. This was not her fault!

Dumbledore took a seat between his still scowling Potions master and the pale girl. 'Seeing as the first part of the plan is underway, we now have to discuss where we are going from here,' he started. 'Naturally, Mr Malfoy will have to be informed.'

Morgana raised her head to look at Dumbledore and could not avoid seeing Snape's face. He looked like thunder.

'Headmaster,' she began after having swallowed dryly a couple of times. 'How ... how am I supposed to act when I tell Lucius? Am I supposed to be happy?'

'You will be surprised, of course,' Dumbledore explained.' And you will go to him thinking that he will want you to terminate. After all, you are seventeen, and he is a married man. You will tell him that you do not want to bring shame on his family name.'

Lucius is doing a pretty good job bringing shame on his family name himself, isn't he? Snape thought bitterly, but knew better than to say it out loud.

'Lucius will tell you that he will take care of everything, Miss Belakane,' he pointed out instead. 'He will want you to keep the child, and he will shower you with gifts and pretend that you are the most important witch in the universe. And whatever you do, Miss Belakane, you must not believe him.'

Ignoring Snape's last comment, Morgana turned back to Dumbledore, who was nodding gravely. 'You will be overjoyed that you will be having a child together. Can you do this, Morgana?'

'I am convinced that Miss Belakane is more than capable of continuing this ruse,' Snape butted in. 'The hard part, surely, was the insemination. Anything else will be a piece of cake. After all, Miss Belakane is a student of my House.'

Morgana glanced furtively at her Head of House, unsure of whether this was a compliment or a thinly-veiled insult. Was there any good soul in Slytherin House, she suddenly wondered. Or did they all live up to their reputation?

There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin.

She knew what people in general though of Slytherins, that they all supported the Dark Lord, that they were all dark and evil themselves. Was she going there as well? After all, she had agreed to carry a child that would never be born.

Dumbledore meanwhile nodded once more and turned back to Morgana. 'When will you be meeting Mr Malfoy again?' he inquired.

'Soon, I suppose,' Morgana answered quietly. 'If Lucius is as calculating as Professor Snape says, then he will know that, by now, I have noticed that I am pregnant.'

'Do inform us when he contacts you, Morgana,' Dumbledore instructed. 'Both Professor Snape and I will want to know when you are leaving the castle. We will also want to be informed about the outcome of your meeting. Now, I think you have Transfiguration now, don't you? Professor McGonagall won't like it if you are late. If you do not have any further questions, you are dismissed.'

Morgana nodded and murmured her goodbyes. She had no desire to ask any questions, and Poppy's potion was slowly making its way up from her stomach again. With her eyes cast down, she made her way out of Dumbledore's office, never once looking at either of the men sitting there.

As soon as the door had fallen shut behind Morgana, Dumbledore turned to his Potions master.

'Severus, we need that girl! Do not alienate her!'

Snape shot off from his chair as if he had been stung by a Blast-Ended Skrewt. 'I am not alienating anyone, Headmaster,' he snapped. 'But I refuse to treat pregnancy as if it were some kind of terminal illness. And I will not fuss over the girl!'

'No one is asking you to fuss, Severus,' Dumbledore replied calmly. 'Poppy will do that more than happily. But do not snap at the girl. We need her to trust you. And she needs to feel that she can come to you with anything.'

'If Miss Belakane does not trust me by now, then I am loath to suggest how I can possibly change her estimation of me,' Snape pointed out.

But then again, could he blame the girl if she did not trust him? He had seen her at her worst, exposed both physically and mentally. He was part of an evil plan that might just come to break her, no matter how much anyone believed in her Slytherin abilities. And he seemed unable to protect her.

'What I am trying to say, Severus,' Dumbledore went on, 'is that the girl is vulnerable and emotionally unstable right now. She will suck up affection like a sponge, no matter where it comes from. And we do not want her to run to Lucius for it, do we?'

'I am her Head of House, Headmaster, her guardian,' Snape reminded the older wizard, his voice colder than an arctic storm. 'That job description does not include girl talk and cuddles.'

'I seriously doubt Morgana would come to you for cuddles,' Dumbledore chuckled. 'But she might turn to you for ... let's call it a pep talk.'

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore shushed him. 'She will feel down. She will feel worthless and confused. And all I am asking of you is to be there and listen when she comes to talk to you. Do not chide her. Do not turn her down.'

'I will treat Miss Belakane as I have always treated her, Headmaster,' Snape declared. 'I will not let her pregnancy be an excuse for sloppy behaviour and insubordination.'

'As far as I am informed, Morgana has never been sloppy.'

'But she has been insubordinate.'

'Now that, dear Severus, seems to be a Slytherin trait.' Once more, the Headmaster's eyes were twinkling, and once more Snape felt the urge to stab them out.

'I have classes to teach, Headmaster,' he said coolly. 'If there is nothing else ...'

He was already halfway out the door when Dumbledore's voice made him turn around once more.

'Severus, there is actually just one more thing. Be nice.'

'Nice?' Snape felt his blood pressure go through the roof. 'That word does not exist in my vocabulary. You know that, Headmaster.'

The Potions master slammed the door shut behind him, and he never saw Dumbledore smile knowingly and stroke his beard.

'We both know that it does, dear boy.'

* * *

The next morning, Charis was clutching a big cup of coffee in the Great Hall. She had to wake up! Snape had given them fifteen pages to read as homework, and she would not put it past him to give them a pop quiz at eight in the morning. Being sleepy would not do. Yet Charis was not a natural early bird, at least not when woken up by a shrill alarm.

She let her eyes wander across the Great Hall as she stifled a yawn and noticed that she was not the only one looking tired. Snape, for one, looked as if he would just love to kill someone. And he did not brighten up one bit when caught sight of a gang of Slytherins striding into the hall, Morgana amongst them.

Charis swallowed and resisted the urge to wave at her friend. Ever since that incident with Draco Malfoy on the stairs, Morgana had seemed edgy when other Slytherins were around. And Charis could not help but wonder what was going on.

'If you don't drink your coffee soon, it will evaporate.'

Charis blinked and turned her head towards her House mate. Jack was smiling at her and holding out a piece of buttered toast. He had been such a sweetheart ever since the DA meeting. He had told Charis that he admired her for her loyalties and had even offered to leave the DA himself. But Charis had told him not to, not on her account anyway.

'Have you spoken to Morgana lately?' Jack asked now, casting a furtive glance towards the Slytherin table. 'Is she alright? I've heard that there is trouble brewing in Slytherin House.'

Charis shrugged. She seriously did not know what was going on in Slytherin House. And she did not know how Morgana was doing. She dared not approach her, not after Morgana had told her not to come to the dungeons anymore. And although she tried to convince herself that Morgana had her best interests in mind, Charis could not help but wonder if her friend had changed her mind about Muggle-borns after all.

She was absentmindedly nibbling at her toast when she saw a sudden movement in the corner of her eye, and she turned her head towards the Slytherin table just in time to see Morgana run out of the Great Hall in a flutter of black robes. The students who had been sitting close to her looked confused, and no one seemed to know why Morgana was fleeing the breakfast table. But to Charis, it did not matter. Slytherin or not, there was something wrong with her best friend, and even if it meant having her head bitten off, Charis would go after Morgana and see if she was alright. She was up and running out of the Great Hall in a matter of seconds and did not even notice that she had spilled her cold coffee all over Jack's robes.

Out in the corridor, Charis feared for a moment that she had been too slow, that she had lost Morgana, but the she heard the door of the girls' bathroom slam shut. And without hesitating, she directed her steps towards that door.

At first, the bathroom seemed deserted, and Charis considered the possibility that she had heard another door slam shut and that Morgana had run to the dungeon. And she had already turned to leave when a retching noise made her turn around once more.

'Morgana?'

Any noise died away, and Charis rolled her eyes. It was just so typical of Morgana to hide and conceal her weakness. And it came therefore as a great surprise as the door to the fourth cubicle opened.

'Sweetie?'

Morgana sat with her back against the wall, her knees drawn up to her chest and her face ashen.

'Honey, are you alright?' Charis asked, sitting down beside her friend and softly nudging her shoulder.

Morgana closed her eyes and took some deep breaths, fighting yet another wave of nausea. Poppy's potion was not helping at all. If anything, the morning sickness seemed to have become worse.

She looked up at her friend as Charis carefully patted her cheek. 'You look terrible, Morgana. You should go to the hospital wing.'

'I've been there,' Morgana replied. Oh how much she wanted to share her burden with her friend. 'Poppy says this is perfectly normal.'

Charis frowned, and Morgana took a deep breath. 'I am pregnant.'

If it were physically possible, Charis' chin would have hit the floor. 'Preg... what? With whom? With MALFOY?'

Morgana just nodded. Of course, Charis would have come to that conclusion immediately. She was a Ravenclaw, after all.

'Did you forget your potion or something?'

Despite feeling miserable, Morgana couldn't help but smirk at that question. She had taken her potion alright, but not the one Charis was talking about.

'Does Malfoy know yet?'

Morgana shook her head. 'I just found out,' she lied. 'But I am quite confident that Lucius will be happy about this.'

'Happy?' Charis stared at her friend. Did Morgana really believe this? 'Fuck, Morgana! How could you be so stupid and get yourself knocked up?! Malfoy's married. He is over twenty years older than you. Hell, he has a son who is almost your age. How can you think he will be happy?!'

Morgana let her head fall back against the wall once more. 'Why would he not be happy?' she asked, wishing that she were allowed to tell Charis the whole truth. Instead, she decided to tell only half of it. She had no idea what mess it would create.

'Malfoy and Belakane, Charis. Two of the oldest Wizard families in Britain. This baby is practically royal. Of course, Lucius will be happy.'

'Since when have you become obsessed with bloodlines?' Charis exclaimed. There was a bad feeling growing in her stomach. Had she been right then? Had Morgana indeed crumbled under the pressure of her House? Or had she maybe always – furtively – believed in the superiority of purebloods? 'You cannot be serious, Morgana! Practically royal?'

Morgana nodded tiredly, and Charis got up, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

'So that is what you meant the other day when you told me that my kind was not welcome in the dungeons.'

Now Morgana got onto her feet, too, her resignation quickly turning into anger. What the hell was Charis accusing her of?

'The mood is dark in the dungeon, Charis,' she started, trying to keep her voice calm. 'I cannot protect you there anymore.'

'Is that a threat?' The word protect implied danger and harm to Charis. Maybe Morgana was saying that she would stand aside if any of her Housemates decided to pick on her. The thought made Charis feel sick. Had she been misled all those years? Was Morgana just like the rest of her House after all?

With her stomach turning and her head spinning, Morgana did not have the energy to think straight. 'I cannot help being in Slytherin, Charis. And I have been through quite a bit of trouble since our first day of school since my best friend was a Ravenclaw. I cannot stand it anymore. I don't have the energy for it.'

'So what is it you are saying, Morgana? That you cannot be friends with me anymore? Or that you do not want to?'

'As you take it up, I think you don't want to be friends with me anymore,' Morgana snapped despite herself. She was fed up now. This whole situation was not her fault. 'You've done a pretty good job avoiding me lately, Charis Byrne. Looks like only certain Slytherins are good enough for you nowadays. Those with a cock!'

Charis opened her mouth in disbelief. 'Is that what it is all about? You're jealous. You're jealous of me and Severus.'

'Severus?' Morgana laughed. 'Tell me, has Severus proposed yet? No? And you are calling me stupid? You're ridiculous, Charis.'

'How dare you?' Charis was backing away from Morgana now, a hurt expression on her face. Morgana had never been supportive of her choice in Slytherin males, but now she was being right-out cruel. As if she could comment on poor choice in men! 'And I thought you were different, Morgana. But no! You get knocked up by Malfoy, and suddenly you think you're better than everyone else. I bet you can't wait to give birth to a pureblood, can you? And here I was all these years, telling people that you were not like the other Slytherins.'

Morgana's jaws tightened. Charis' last sentence had hurt her more than anything else she could have said. But she would not let Charis know. She was a Slytherin, after all. And Slytherins never showed their weakness.

'Seems like we've been both lying to ourselves for almost seven years then,' she pointed out in a cold voice instead. 'Maybe, the gaps between our Houses cannot be bridged after all.'

It was just as well to make a clean cut. There was no point in procrastinating something that was unavoidable. With shaking hands, Morgana unclasped her necklace and held it towards Charis.

'Stay away from the dungeons, Charis.'

And without another word, Morgana brushed by her former best friend and left the bathroom, leaving Charis staring at the necklace in her hand with tear-filled eyes.

* * *

Morgana was shaking as she walked towards the stairs that led down to the dungeon. She was beyond angry. But she was not angry with Charis, only with herself. She was angry for having lost her temper, angry for being jealous and most of all for not being able to control either of them. She had not meant to push Charis away, and already she longed for her best friend. But she was too proud to turn around, too scared that Charis would push her away in return now.

Halfway down the stairs, Morgana's stomach turned once more. But it was empty, and her mouth filled with the bitter taste of bile. This was ridiculous. She had taken her potion according to Poppy's instructions, and still she had not kept down a single meal for two days. She had tried to be brave, but now she had had enough. She was not going to suffer through another day of classes. And gritting her teeth, she turned around and made her way up the stairs to the hospital wing.

It took her about double the amount of time to climb the stairs, and by the time she pushed open the door to the ward, she was too exhausted to even have a chance to dodge the Potions master, who was on his way out.

'Sorry, sir,' Morgana mumbled, her eyes cast down and hoping that he would not make any foul comment now. She wasn't sure if she could handle it.

To her surprise, Snape held her steadily by her left elbow. 'Are you alright, Miss Belakane?' he inquired.

'Morning sickness, sir,' Morgana replied, her gaze still cast down although she could feel Snape's eyes burning on the top of her head. 'I'm about to ask Poppy for more potion.'

'I suggest a thorough check-up, Ms Belakane,' Snape said. He was not blind. The girl looked like owl droppings and had done so for a couple of days. But he was not going to point that out. If she was too stubborn to take care of herself or ask for help, then so be it. 'In case you are unable to attend your Potions lesson tonight, I want to be informed before lunch,' he went on, trying to sound professional and detached. 'I have better things to do than wait for you all evening.'

Morgana nodded and turned as soon as Snape let go of her elbow. The last thing she needed was Snape scolding her and telling her that she was wasting his precious time. It was not like she was missing his lessons on purpose.

'Dear child, you look dreadful,' Poppy exclaimed as Morgana entered the ward. 'Is it morning sickness? Is the potion not working? When was the last time you ate?'

Morgana felt as if she were drowning in the sea of questions Poppy was bombarding her with, and she did not resist when she was guided towards a bed and dutifully drank the potion Poppy thrust into her hands. And when Poppy prescribed bed rest for two days, Morgana did not argue either. Being alone and not having to talk to anyone was probably the best thing. At least she would not be able to hurt anyone else during that time.