Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own the players; I merely made up my own rules for this little game.

Disclaimer: I am borrowing the title as well. I make no money, only pray for reviews!

Severus found his new reality unnerving, yet he managed to find his way in it. He and Hermione had love, something he felt dwarfed by the feeling but also comforted. It was not a fairytale or a storybook. They fought over empty bog rolls, stolen covers, and the like. They debated fiercely their points of view on the newest discoveries in Potions, Charms, and Transfiguration.

He had always enjoyed living a life of snark and biting remarks, but he was amazed to find that he and his wife had formed an affectionate language from his own innate bitterness. She found the humour in most comments, and when she didn't, she called him on it.

Neither one was shy of telling their spouse when they were over the line. Severus hated it, hated that she would dare to tell him when she thought he was unfair or refusing to see points of view other than his own. However, he quickly came to realise that this was true love. Anyone could blow sunshine up your arse, smile, and walk away. What was unusual was to find the one who would tell you the brutal truth and then stay with you through the humiliation, rage, and indignation. Severus found that on the other side of this negative, wound-licking shame was true love.

The man who was kept alive by his ability to conceal the truth of himself finally found peace and happiness in the utter inability to hide anything from his wife.

Aside from his marriage, his life was the same. Well, other than the moments where he discovered the differences in the path this reality had taken. He graded papers, worked in Potions for both the hospital wing and private sales. He avoided the Potters and the Lupins. He nearly fell over when he received an owl from Dumbledore. The former Headmaster merely wanted to ensure that Severus would indeed come to Godric's Hollow for Harry's homecoming and also for the holiday.

Hermione found the letter and responded before he could decline. She and Dumbledore both seemed to assume that he would attend, albeit grudgingly, whilst verbally abusing James and Harry at every turn. He was pleased to note that though he appeared to have built a cooperative friendship with the two of them, everyone would still expect him to scowl in his accustomed manner.

Two days later, they were off. The elder Potters' house was large and impressive without the overdone sense of the Malfoy Manor. He and Hermione had their own suite, including a private bath. They were situated across the hall from the Lupins; Severus supposed it could have been worse. And they were next door to Draco Malfoy and Ronald Weasley, who were sharing a suite. That had come as a bit of a shock.

Hermione was putting her robes into the cupboard, her back to the door. He himself was looking out the large picture window that revealed the grounds. He was thinking over his strategy for surviving the weekend without killing any of the prats who annoyed him.

Suddenly, the door to the hallway burst open, and a tall, ginger blur streaked across the room and swept Hermione into an embrace. Severus took out his wand, ready to begin hexing, but he could not get a clear shot. His jaw was clenching in rage as Hermione was squealing with delight.

"Don't get your wand in a knot, Severus. It makes me a bit jealous from time to time as well." Draco Malfoy was just behind him, smirking broadly at the whirling pair.

Severus' mouth hung open for a moment before he could regain some semblance of composure. "Draco, yes, well. I'm sure it's... I was merely startled. How are you?"

Draco laughed and shook his head. "Just grand. My business is amazingly successful, though I'm afraid Ron is still the breadwinner. I can't say I oppose being a kept man, as long as he doesn't insist that I bring him breakfast in bed."

Weasley finally unhanded Hermione, and the pair of them stood grinning at the Slytherins in the doorway. "Don't worry, love. Breakfast is the last thing on my mind when we're in bed."

Hermione hit Weasley in the chest lightly and laughed. "Well, there's another one you've got over me, Draco." She grinned as she crossed the room to hug Malfoy.

Severus cold only stare. It wasn't that he objected to homosexuality. In his opinion, any fulfilling relationship was a good thing; it was just an extremely big surprise to see two men who had hated one another all their lives as a couple. It was comparable to himself and Black... That thought was too nauseating to finish.

He watched as the three of them talked excitedly. Weasley and Malfoy seemed comfortable with one another. Both must have changed a great deal, grown up. He watched the way she spoke with them; obviously, she loved the both of them very much.

Draco began to recount a rather amusing tale of his recent trip to New Zealand when Severus heard something that garnered his full attention.

"...Dark relics are so cliché, aren't they? I'll never understand the draw. Though I'm thankful my father evidently had it. I'd never have gotten into the antiquities game had it not been for all that old rubbish he'd hidden around the house. He must have been a real character. One of these days, you're going to have to tell me what he was like." Draco smiled at Severus.

He tried to recover, but he found it next to impossible. Draco had never known Lucius? How odd. Severus nodded at Draco, hoping that if the conversation were to continue, he would glean more useful information from it.

As it turned out, he didn't. But he made up his mind to use his old spying skills to learn about this new world. In spite of his decision not to question this odd reversal of fate, he would still like to better understand his situation. He was, after all, a naturally curious sort of person.

Dinner that evening gave him the opportunity to compile and refine his list of questions. Anytime someone questioned him, he gave brief answers, as vague as he could make them. They all seemed to expect his usual snark, though everyone took his biting nature in stride. They all seemed to think his nastiness was simply a mask for affection.

It came as no surprise to him that Longbottom was as yet unmarried. Apparently, he'd asked someone repeatedly, and the young lady consistently put him off, stating her work as the cause.

The younger Potters had been married shortly after leaving school, and as he'd learned from the staff meeting on his first day, they hadn't any children. Lily and James had no other children either.

The Lupins had a son who was not at Hogwarts yet. They loved teaching and loved each other. Remus had been teaching for nearly as long as Severus.

The most interesting thing he'd learned from Lupin was that there were no longer any Heads of House. Each first year student was randomly assigned a fifth year student as a mentor. Upon entering fourth year, the students chose a staff member as their mentor. The practice had been instituted by Dumbledore and was thought to foster inter-house unity.

Harry Potter was rather muscular and seemed more vulnerable and unsure of himself than Severus remembered. At dinner, Harry sat at Hermione's other side, and the two of them talked and whispered. He tried not to be jealous, but it wasn't easy for him.

Harry played Quidditch for England as the Seeker. Severus couldn't work out how a professional athlete could look so cowed and meek. He wondered if perhaps the national team was substandard, or if they had advanced in the Cup due more to luck than skill. He made a mental note to ask Hermione if Harry was alright.

Dumbledore and Minerva sat close together, looking better than Severus had ever seen them. Retirement obviously agreed with his old friend. Severus had to swallow over the lump in his throat when he thought of the other fate that the white-bearded genius had been dealt. So far, this reality was a significant improvement for almost all parties.

As the puddings were cleared away, and everyone rose to leave the table, Lily beckoned Severus to her. He crossed the room, glancing back at Hermione. She smiled tightly at him and exited the room.

Lily beamed at him. "Sev, I know this is your time off, but I wondered if you'd still be willing to help me with those potions? If we get a good start on them tonight, we could knock them out in only a few hours." She had grasped his forearm with both hands and was staring into his eyes pleadingly.

He looked around for Hermione. He assumed she'd caught up with the girls for a 'witches circle.' She didn't need him hanging around her; she was likely glad to be off with her friends. He smiled at Lily warmly. "I'd be glad to assist you."

As they left the dining room, Severus noticed that the lads seemed to have all gathered around the fireplace in the lounge. Another door off the hall was closed, but he could hear a feminine voice, laughing uncontrollably. Better to give her time with her friends.

As it turned out, he quite enjoyed himself with Lily. As they laughed and chatted over their caldrons, he thought of how richer his life must be if he'd had her friendship all along. They understood one another. They worked well together. Her own work was so precise that he could scarcely discern it from his own. She was magical. Literally magical.

He didn't want to alert her to his present situation, but he felt the need to bring up a point that had been niggling him all evening. Ever the spy, Severus cast a nonverbal Muffliato so that no one could overhear and misconstrue what he wished to say to her. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

"Lily, is James ever jealous of us?"

She put down her knife and came around the table to stand next to him. "No, Severus. He's trusted you without question since you saved us that night. You should know that."

I saved them? From what, I wonder? He filed that under urgent. He put down his knife and turned towards her. "But if we spend all this time together and get on so well, it really doesn't bother him? Are you sure?" He suddenly feared he'd given away his position, so he corrected himself. "Only I would never want him to think anything untoward, after all our years of friendship."

Lily stepped closer so that their bodies were just touching. She whispered, "Don't worry. He has no suspicions. Please don't let guilt come between us." She smiled sadly at him.

We've been friends all this time. I must mean a great deal to her. He smiled, nodding at her. He turned back to the table and continued to chop his hyacinth leaves. Lily stayed where she was and let out a shaky breath.

He glanced back at her. Her brow was furrowed, and her mouth had turned down at the corners. "Lily, is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"It's Harry. I've been so worried about him," she whispered. She ran her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes. "He's just not getting past this. He's not. I know my son. He's promised to work through this thing, and he'll try. He will try, but what if he can't?"

Severus felt panicked. He had no earthly idea what she might be on about, but he couldn't let her know that. She'd obviously already confided the pertinent fact to him. He knew he needed to be supportive, so he'd just have to lead her into giving away more than she realised.

"Lily, Harry is stronger than anyone I know. He has survived so much in his life, surely he'll find a way." Severus held his breath, hoping she'd fill in some gaps for him. When he reached out to pat her shoulder, she shocked him by leaning into him and resting her head on his chest.

"Oh, Sev, I know he is. But Ginny is the only woman he's ever loved. You remember what he was like. He was over the moon about her from the time he was thirteen years old." Lily was shaking slightly. She took a deep breath and continued quietly. "I can't believe that she'd betray him like that. They always seemed so devoted. The worst part is, I feel like a terrible hypocrite for judging her. How can I of all people look down on someone for feeling torn between two attractive men?" As she finished, Lily slid her fingers over his shoulder and into his hair. She was looking into his face with her lips slightly parted.

Severus stared at her for a moment, utterly gob smacked. She was coming onto him. Had they had trysts before? He was still reeling from the information that Ginny had been unfaithful to Harry when he learned that he was in almost the same situation.

The truth was, he had no desire to lean down and kiss her. He felt a pull toward her, but it seemed to come more from force of habit than anything else. He could only think of Hermione.

He tried to step away from her as gracefully as possible, given the circumstance. "Lily, what have we done to be ashamed of?"

In a small, quavering voice, she answered, "Nothing. But not for lack of desire. Only for lack of opportunity. I'm a monster, I know."

Severus realised that he was trembling with relief and could barely swallow. He'd done nothing in the past, and he was going to reject her now. Of all the ironies, he was about to reject Lily, who had been his greatest and only desire. "You mustn't say such things. What would that do to everyone? We would be lying to everyone we know. Think, not only of James, but of Hermione. The two of you are friends, are you not? Think of Harry. How would he feel?"

"You're right. My gods! You're his godfather. You're James' best friend in the world. Hermione and I have grown quite close since she lost her own parents. But the heart wants what it wants. I can't deny it, Severus. I still want you."

She stood calmly, looking perfectly composed, as though they were merely comparing brewing techniques. He looked at her closely. Her eyes were wide with desire and alight with pain. How in the bloody hell have we gotten to this? Must my life include drama and intrigue, no matter what the circumstance?

"Lily, I love you. I have loved you all my life. But so many stand to be hurt if we pursue this, can you not see that?" he asked softly. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You should look on me as a brother. That is how we must see one another, as strictly out of bounds."

Lily nodded, swiping at the tears that were pouring down her face. He took a deep breath to steady himself. "Now, as far as Ginny is concerned, if Harry wants to work on things with her, I don't see that any of us have a choice but to accept and support his decision. I can't imagine that she would have done such a thing with intentional malice. Perhaps her situation was rather like our own. She's not a cruel person by nature. I'm certain it must be hurting her as well."

Lily sighed. "I know. Harry is hurting so badly. His confidence has never been what it should be. You know that. He's felt all his life that he's been not only in James' shadow, but also yours. Son and godson to the two most powerful and famous wizards in the world. Practically the only people he's ever felt truly comfortable with are Hermione, Ginny, and me."

Severus made an effort to keep listening in spite of his shock at her words. He made yet another mental note to find out precisely why he and James would be so revered. Right now, his focus was on trying to sort out the situation with Harry. "Go on, Lily. You can tell me. You know that," he said, squeezing her shoulder again.

She looked torn, so he spoke again. "Tell me this. If the situation were reversed, how would you want Harry and Ginny to react?"

"I would hope that they would try to understand. They would try, but I know it would tear everyone apart. Gods, I want to kill her. I want to hex Wood's bollocks to the size of grapefruits! Harry should find someone and show her the meaning of the term 'vengeance fuck.'"

"And that would make things better, would it? If Harry compromises his honour and principles just to prove a point?" Severus raised an eyebrow and waited.

Lily searched his fathomless eyes like a drowning man gasps for breath. "No. I would have him like his father, incapable of duplicity or dishonour."

"There you have it. Harry should do what he can to put this behind him. And I will always be here for you, Lily. You are my oldest and dearest friend. In spite of the fact that you chose to marry beneath you." Severus arranged his face into a scowl that quickly melted into a warm smile.

Lily placed her hand on his cheek and sighed. "I love you. Is this really all that can ever be between us? I know it's dreadful, but my door will always be open to you." Tears spilled onto her cheeks and shone in the dim light.

Severus was again dumbstruck. He leaned forward to place his forehead on hers. He closed his eyes and savoured the last moment. He was more shaken by how little he was tempted by her than by her proposal. He put a hand in her hair, running his fingers through the silken, fire-coloured strands for another moment.

When at last he pulled away from her, it was with a sad, resigned smile. "Lily. I love you; I will love you all my life." He took a long, shuddering breath. "But that doesn't mean that I don't love my wife completely. I cannot and will not do this to any of us, James included. Can you understand?"

"Of course, Severus. I'm so sorry."

"You needn't apologise. Part of family and friendship is setting boundaries. We've all known each other too long to let something so simple as this get in the way of our relationships."

Severus and Lily embraced for a moment. Lily then dried her tears, and the two of them went back to brewing. They never noticed that a figure had appeared in the doorway a little ways into their conversation. Because of Severus' long-forgotten Muffliato, the curly-haired witch heard none of the words, she only saw two people exchange loving looks and embraces. From her position in the shadows, she saw the desire in Lily's eyes. Because of her keen eyes and sharp intellect, she lip-read bits and pieces of their statements.

...the heart wants what it wants.

...my door will always be open to you.

It's been said that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. That statement was never truer than it is in this case. These few words, few touches, and few glances, taken out of context, would bring about more than any of them could ever have known.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this bit. I promise, I do have an explanation for the AU. I can't share just yet, but I promise it will come!

Thanks to the lovely and talented kizzy7, beta extraordinaire. She is truly divine. Thanks also to the admins here, and to all of you who are kind enough to read (and review).