Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to JKR.

A/N: *Looks left and right* "Hey, beta,Cough Southern_Witch_69 Cough, I wanted to thank you for your awesomeness, and..." *Turns to scowl* "Stop eavesdropping! Betas are anonymous until after voting!"

Hermione sat in the bedroom that she'd shared with Ron, weary to the bone. She'd been going through their...her...things the past few days, deciding what she did and did not want to keep. Rose and Hugo had left four days ago to spend a week with their father, and she'd been sorting out her belongings since they'd gone. She was going back to Italy in the morning.

Oddly enough, George and Angelina wanted to buy her home. She'd had mixed feelings about that, but decided in the long run that it was better to go ahead with it. She wanted this house sold as soon as possible and her past put behind her. Ron was certainly moving ahead.

And however odd it may feel to her, at least the home would still be in the family so that Rose and Hugo would be able to visit if they wanted to. She sighed, remembering how they'd argued with her when she'd first told them of her plans to sell, but in the end, they'd both agreed with her.

Hermione gently rubbed her temples, trying to alleviate some of the tension there. If she were to be honest with herself, it wasn't truly thoughts of Ron and her marriage that had her weary; it was thoughts of Severus Snape. What exactly would she be returning to tomorrow?

If it hadn't been for the interrupted visit, Hermione would think that she wouldn't be returning to much of anything, but she desperately wondered what he'd been about to say to her before Narcissa Malfoy burst into the room. Her heart began to pound just remembering the look in his eyes when he'd almost kissed her.

She shivered and stood up to go make herself some tea. She had to admit, up until that moment, he hadn't shown any kind of romantic feelings towards her. The fact that she kept going back to him amazed her really, but she knew that there were some serious feelings on her part, that she was coming to... care for him more than what was wise, and she couldn't seem to make herself stay away.

And the thing was, she convinced herself, even though he didn't really show much affection, there were those odd moments: a lingering look, a touch, a sense of wanting from him. Yes, she'd felt all of those things radiate from him, and it made her want to comfort, to sooth, to... love?

Did she love him? She shook her head in rapt denial. It would be very unwise to fall in love with a man such as Severus Snape. She took a long, appreciative sip of her tea and decided to look at the facts and reason things out.

Did she look forward to seeing him? Yes, she always looked forward to their visits, whether they were sexual or not. Did she miss him when they weren't together? That was a definite yes. As a matter of fact, she missed him so much right now that she could hardly think of anything else, especially now that the kids had gone to Ron's. Did she have trouble eating, sleeping? Sighing, she rinsed her cup and put it away. Yes, she did. And when she was able to sleep, she dreamt of him.

That proved a few things to her. First and foremost, love is blind. How could she have fallen for a man who treated her as he did? That question brought her to the other fact. Hermione Weasley was not cut out for a no strings, keep it light, unemotional affair. She'd always ruled with her heart, her emotions, so why would she think that things would be different now? Sitting down in her kitchen chair, she thought despairingly, You've done it now, you idiot! What am I going to do?

***

Severus was in his lab, as he had been since six o'clock that morning, brewing potions that he knew would be in high demand after New Year, Sober Up being one of the most purchased. Cissy would not stop badgering him, and he had to get away from her and her incessant questions...and Lucius, smiling smugly at him the entire time.

He missed Hermione, and that angered him. He should've been done with her the moment he'd realized who she was. If she were here, he thought, she'd be in the lab with him, chatting away, talking of useless things, helping him brew and bottle his potions. She may have brought him a plant he'd mentioned needing or a snack...which he could use right now...and then once the brewing was complete, they'd use the unoccupied work bench for more pleasurable activities.

He growled. Missing her only proved that he'd have to end it. Now, while it had been over a week since he'd touched her, smelt her, lost himself inside of her... NO! He would not allow those thoughts to linger. Damn it! He'd almost kissed her, for Christ's sake. Kissing was so much more intimate and something he never allowed before during his liaisons with women. Yes, oh yes, he'd developed feelings for that woman. Useless, unwanted feelings.

"Severus? Are you still brewing?" Narcissa wanted to know as she all but glided into his lab. "You've been at this all morning. It's time for a break. I need to go to the market for a few things, and I'd like for you to accompany me."

Severus sighed, agitated. "You've a husband to do those mundane things, Narcissa. I'm not married for a reason."

Pouting prettily, she told him, "I know, it's because you're too surly! Besides, Lucius is on a Floo Call that is of vital importance, or so he told me."

"Mmm. Right. That's what I'd tell you as well, were it me. I don't want to go out."

"Am I that horrid that no one wants to be around me?"

"No, it's not you; it's me. I'm not great company. Perhaps I should stay at a hotel tonight while you have your little shindig? I wouldn't want to embarrass you in my... surly state."

Narcissa placed her hands on her hips, scowling. "You will do nothing of the sort, Severus Snape! Now, I've had enough! You're going to the market with me, and then we're stopping at that robes shop I spotted while we were buying Christmas presents and getting yourself a new robe."

Severus snorted. "I don't need a new robe, woman! What I need is to be left in peace."

Softening her voice, Narcissa walked to Severus and rubbed his arm in a comforting gesture. "She'll be back today."

Severus jerked back as if she'd slapped him. "I'm sure I have no idea of whom you're referring to. Now, if you're ready, I'll go with you to the market, but I warn you, Cissy, no robes!"

Chuckling, Narcissa muttered under her breath, "We'll just see about that."

***

Hermione experienced a sense of déjà vu standing in front of Severus' door, afraid to knock. Had the Malfoys not been there, she would have poked her head in and called out to him.

She sighed, uncertain. Would he resent her for coming over while his friends were there? Was Narcissa decorating for the party they were going to have in a few hours? Jeez, what was she doing here? She started to turn and go when the door was suddenly opened. "Miss Granger," Lucius greeted. "Do come in."

Stuck, Hermione smiled and walked in past Malfoy. When she noticed nobody in the house, she asked, "Is Severus downstairs brewing? I've brought him this plant."

Holding back a chuckle at her obvious discomfort, Lucius told her, "He and my wife have gone to the market and to run a few errands. They should be back any moment now. Can I offer you something to drink?"

"Oh, no, thank you. I'll just leave this here for him and go."

"Nonsense. It'll only take a moment. Have a seat."

"No, really, Mr. Malfoy." She sighed. He was already pouring her a cup of tea.

"Did you have a nice trip?" he asked, and Hermione could tell that he was trying to keep her here until Severus returned. She felt awkward enough and simply wanted to leave the plant there and go. What was she thinking?

"Yes, I did, thank you. I really need to go though; I have some errands of my own that need taking care of. I'm sorry I missed Severus. Would you mind telling him that..."

"...Bought out the entire shop, woman! I told you that I didn't want any new robes!" Severus complained as they walked in the door, holding several bags. "Lucius, your wife is impossible!"

"Yes," he agreed, "but absolutely exquisite. Severus, you have a guest."

Severus turned and locked eyes with Hermione, standing there holding some sort of plant he'd never seen before. Before he could speak, Narcissa clapped her hands together once.

"Hermione, dear! How wonderful to see you! Severus and I were just out getting some last minute things for the party," she explained, trying to break up some of the tension that had suddenly thickened the room.

"Hello," Hermione said quietly. Holding out the plant towards Severus, she told him, "I brought this back for you. I ran into Neville at Flourish and Blotts, and he told me about this new breed of plant that he'd started, and I thought that maybe you could play with it and see if it has any uses." Realizing that she'd been babbling, she quickly stopped talking.

Severus said nothing, nor did he move to take the plant. After several uncomfortable moments, Lucius walked up to Hermione, took the plant from her and set it on the table. "That's very nice of you to think of Severus like that. Narcissa?"

"Oh, yes, very nice indeed. Say, if you don't have any plans tonight, why don't you come to my party? I daresay, you'll know most of the people here and likely have worked with a lot of them. What do you say?"

"She can't," Severus spoke for the first time after seeing her, "she has other plans."

Lifting her chin and refusing to be intimidated, she told everyone, "Actually, I don't have plans."

Looking at her pointedly, Severus said, "Then I have plans tonight that don't include you."

"Severus!" Narcissa said, horrified. "What's wrong with you?" Turning to Hermione, she said, "Of course your welcome to stop by tonight. Don't let this sourpuss spoil your evening! Lucius and I would love for you to come."

Defeated, Hermione told her, "It's all right. I thank you for the invitation, but I think I'll pass." Turning to go, she looked over her shoulder. "Severus, might I have just a moment of your time? At my condo?"

"I hardly think we need to have a private conversation."

"Oh? Fine, I'll just say what I have to say now then," she said as she turned back into the room. If he wanted to talk in front of Lucius and Narcissa, then so be it, but she would have her say.

"No, that's not necessary." Turning to his friends, he told them, "I'll only be a moment."

"Take your time," Narcissa said as he slammed out the door.

***

Once outside, he whirled on her. "How dare you? Just who in the hell do you think you are?"

She said nothing, simply kept walking to her condo with him following behind her, cussing as they walked. Once inside, she calmly turned to face him, but still said nothing, waiting.

Severus paced and watched her, waiting for her to speak. Finally, patience wearing thin, he said, "Well, you got what you wanted. I'm here, alone with you, so talk. Say your piece and be done with it."

Clearing her throat, she said, "I've been gone a week, Severus, and this is how you treat me the first time you see me?"

"What did you want me to do, rush into your arms? You act as if it's been a year."

"A simple hello would have sufficed. Perhaps, 'How was your trip? How are your children?' Or even, 'Did you have a nice Christmas?' Lucius Malfoy treated me better than you did! Did you even notice that I was gone?"

He sneered at her, hating the fact that he had wanted to rush into her arms and kiss her. Deciding to start the breaking things off process, he said, "Honestly, I've been too busy entertaining my friends to notice your absence, although certain aspects were indeed noticed."

"Don't be crude!" Shaking her head, Hermione said, "I just cannot do this any longer. I'm not cut out for the kind of affair you want. Actually, I'm not even sure you can call what's been going on between us an affair. I don't like it, Severus."

"You could have fooled me."

"Stop with your insults and talk to me, damn it! I don't understand why you don't want me to come to the party tonight. Can you at least explain that?"

It angered him that he wanted to soothe the hurt in her voice away, so he spoke harshly. "Why would I? There will be all sorts of people there, so we wouldn't have any time alone."

"So? Do you think I'd be hanging all over you? That your dirty little secret would come out? I can mingle, Severus, and I don't have to be right at your side every time we're together."

"You've no place there tonight. But more simply put, I just don't want you there. Perhaps afterwards..." he said, letting that hang, hating the look in her eyes.

"Excuse me? You're saying that you want me to come over after the party? And what? Get you off?"

He shrugged, glad that her hurt was turning towards anger. "As you said earlier, it has been a week."

Her eyes widened, and she fought off the tears. "I don't understand you!"

"What, did you think that we'd have a few shags and then I'd fall head over hills in love with you?" He snorted. "Don't be ridiculous."

"No, I didn't think that you'd fall in love with me, but I did think that perhaps you'd show some compassion, some feelings."

"Not bloody likely," he lied, telling himself that this was what he wanted. She'd end things, and that would be that. He could continue things as they were before she'd so rudely interrupted his life.

Putting her hand over her mouth, Hermione asked, "What are you, a robot? Have you no feelings? Why must you treat me no better than you would a prostitute?"

He looked her up and down. "Well, you'd barely been here a month when you started coming over." He conveniently forgot that he'd basically pushed her into it. "You say you hate the way I treat you, and yet you still come, begging for more, almost daily. What else would I equate you with?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Severus regretted them. But he could see by the look on her face that they were words that would not be easily taken back.

Rubbing her hand over her heart, Hermione simply said, "Oh, God. Ouch. Direct hit." His eyes were drawn to her hand as he watched her rubbing her chest as if trying to ease the pain away. He looked back into her eyes as she went on. "As I've said, I can't...don't want...to do this anymore. You've made your feelings perfectly clear, and now, let me make mine clear. I will not be a convenient fuck for you, Severus Snape. You know the way out."

"Hermione..." He had no idea what he wanted to say, but he didn't get the chance to say anything.

"GO! I don't want you here! Get out!" She had to get him out before the tears started. She pointed to the door. "I mean it Severus, go. It's over."

He turned to leave, realizing immediately the huge mistake he'd just made. He thought he'd feel relief, but instead, he felt panic. Shaking it off, he stopped at the door. "It's not over until I say it's over." Then he quietly shut the door behind him.

As soon as he closed the door, he heard her let out the sobs that she'd been so desperately holding in. He wanted to rush back inside, take her into his arms and tell her he hadn't meant it. Not any of it. But now was not the time.

For one thing, he knew that it was too soon, that he'd hurt her too badly. For another, he had this bloody party to get through. After that, he'd come back here and talk to her. He understood that he was going to have to open up to her and talk of his past for her to be able to understand and hopefully forgive him.

He roughly rubbed his hands over his face. All he had to do was get through the next few hours. He could do this.

***

As soon as he'd shut the door, Hermione fell to the floor, sobbing. It wasn't just that he didn't love her, although that hurt badly enough, it was what he thought of her. She'd completely opened herself up to him, and he'd equated her to a prostitute.

Ron had accused her of being cold, and with Severus she'd been the complete opposite. For some reason, it had been easy with him. Perhaps she'd read too much into what she'd thought those looks meant and had seen only want she'd wanted to see.

She stood shakily and walked upstairs into her bedroom. Lying on the bed, she tried to decide what she wanted to do now. It seemed useless to stay here. Sighing, she rolled to her side and stared out of the window, watching the waves roll. She was just so tired.

Her last thought as the waves lulled her to sleep was that she hadn't unpacked her trunk yet.

A/N: I wonder if Severus can fix the mess he's created.