Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to JKR.

A/N: I'm on to you by now! No thanks to my awesome beta until after voting!

Cough Southern_Witch_69 Cough

Hermione leaned against her kitchen counter as she swallowed her last antibiotic. It had been three months since she and Severus had started their fling, and she'd gotten a bladder infection. She knew it was because it had been so long since she'd had sex. Even before she'd left Ron, they'd gone six months with no sex.

Severus would've given her a potion to correct her problem, she knew, but Hermione just didn't feel comfortable going to him for something so... private. Instead, she'd gone to the local Muggle Medical Clinic and had gotten five days worth of antibiotics. Same effects, even if the results were somewhat slower.

After that first time they'd had sex, Hermione had not gone back to his villa, deciding that she simply felt too awkward around him. It hadn't been long before he'd come looking for her, asking her where she'd been.

When she'd informed him that she felt like he'd gotten what he'd wanted, he'd looked at her with those cold black eyes and told her, "I thought things were mutual there. We discussed things before anything happened, and I remember asking you straight out if you wanted this. You informed me that you did and that you didn't want a relationship."

Then she'd told him how he'd made her feel, cheap and used, and not unlike a prostitute, and he'd told her that she could've stayed, that she was the one who'd decided to leave.

She could have told him that she'd felt uncomfortable being there while he slept, but what was the point? Looking back, she was beginning to see how easily he'd turned the tables on her, making her feel like she'd overreacted. Severus Snape was a master manipulator, she'd found out.

Coming back to the present, Hermione turned her head to look out of her window, feeling melancholy. She would be going back to London for the Christmas holidays soon. Rose and Hugo would be spending the first week with her up until Christmas day and then going to spend the rest of their holiday with their daddy.

She couldn't wait to see them; she missed her children terribly. It was thinking of Severus that had made her feel so... depressed she supposed. Well, not only thoughts of him, she admitted, but her life in general. It was time to start making some decisions; only she wasn't ready to go back home just yet.

She turned her head to the table and glanced at the letter she'd received from her ex-husband the week before. He and Lavender were going to get married while the kids were with him during Christmas. He'd wanted to let her know in advance to give her ample time to adjust to it. She snorted. Lavender hadn't even let the ink dry on the divorce parchments before she'd snagged him up! And it wasn't that she wanted Ron herself, she truly didn't, but that didn't stop the sharp pain right in the center of her heart. She briefly wondered what Ron's family thought of his upcoming marriage, but not enough to owl Molly and find out.

Then there was her job at the Ministry. Her boss had also sent her an owl the week before informing her that if she didn't come back by the New Year, they were going to have to find a replacement for her. The only thing was, Hermione didn't know if she wanted to go back to that job at all. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She knew that she didn't want to go back, but her dilemma was what else would she do? She hadn't even thought about it until now.

There was also the matter of her house. She knew that she did not want to keep it. Ron had signed the house and everything in it over to her when he'd left, and at the time, she'd had no problems with residing there. Also, there was the fact that it had been the only home her children had ever lived in.

But now... things were different. She was different now. Her children would be fine if she sold the house, she assured herself. They were only there three months out of the year at any rate, and it would be even less now that they'd be spending part of their holidays and summers with their father.

Financially, she was fine for the moment, but she knew that the money she had would not last forever. So, the logical thing to do would be for her to sell her home. She'd simply have to go through the furnishings and things while she was there over Christmas and keep what she wanted and get rid of what she didn't.

Hermione lowered herself to the floor and put her head in her hands. She needed someone she could talk to. There was always Ginny, but honestly, she was Ron's sister, and even if she did want to speak with her, she'd have to write and then wait for a response. And as far as Harry was concerned, all he talked about was beating Ron to a bloody pulp. She needed... she needed...

And that brought her to the matter most pressing on her mind. Severus Snape. She simply couldn't understand him. He still remained so aloof, so cold. No matter how hard she tried, he wouldn't let her in. She understood that he didn't want to be in a committed relationship, but surely having an affair didn't mean sex only with no conversation or tenderness whatsoever! He had asked her not to sleep with other men while they were... shagging, and he'd promised her the same courtesy, but when it came to personal things, Severus Snape was a closed book.

She generally went over to his place daily and chatted while he brewed his potions. She'd discovered purely by accident that he was HBP Potions, INC. He'd never once mentioned it to her. There was nothing about her life that he didn't know, except that she hadn't mentioned her bladder infection or the two letters she'd received the week before.

Hermione wanted to see how she felt about those things herself before discussing it, but after a week, she'd found that she was still as confused as she'd ever been. Her only problem was that she could tell him about Ron, her job, and even discuss whether or not she should sell her home, but she already knew he wouldn't offer any advice or even give an opinion.

He was utterly frustrating! He'd never mentioned anything personal to her. She still had no idea who the boy in the photograph was, but she highly suspected that he was Severus' son. She figured the woman in the photograph must be the boy's mother, and he likely lived with her, but whenever she brought them up, Severus simply ignored her or changed the subject.

The only thing he did share with her was how he'd survived the snakebite, explaining how he and Professor Dumbledore had planned for every occurrence that they could think of, and right before he'd gone into the Shrieking Shack, he'd taken a potion to counteract snakebites at Professor Dumbledore's portrait's insistence.

He'd almost bled to death, however, until Lucius Malfoy had found him when the battle had ended. Lucius had taken him to his home and had called a Healer to go and nurse Severus back to health. So, she knew that at least the Malfoys knew he was alive.

He'd also admitted that the Ministry...more specifically Kingsley Shacklebolt and some of the higher ups...also knew that he was alive. Other than that, he'd told her nothing else of his personal life while she'd prattled on and on about all of hers.

The sex between them had still remained rather detached, but he'd at least stopped wearing a condom. Also, most times they were in his bed with them both undressed...no matter what he'd said, she'd felt cheap that first time with him fully clothed and her completely nude. He'd even stopped using a charm once he'd found out that she was taking a Contraceptive Potion. She'd never spent the night with him, though, and he'd never asked her to.

She'd figured out that the condom, no kissing, and so far, no oral sex, had been the ways that he'd kept his distance from her while still enjoying his...their...little fling. And although he did make sure she was satisfied, her emotional needs were far from being met. Even Ginny thought he was behaving rather oddly, and she'd been all for Hermione having an unattached, no-strings affair.

Hermione sighed and stood to look out of the window once more, watching the sky. There'd be snow in London by now, but here it was 52 degrees. Did she miss the snow? she wondered. Yes, she thought that she did, but not enough to go back any earlier than she absolutely had to. Home had too many things she needed to face and deal with. Here, there was only one, and Hermione thought it was about time that she tried to make some sort of an effort there.

******

Severus stood before his cauldron, haphazardly throwing ingredients in. He stopped and took a deep breath. He knew that such methods could be extremely dangerous, so he stopped a moment and then calmly began again.

He was angry and brooding. He missed Liam terribly. This would be his first Christmas without the boy, and he promised himself that it was going to be his last. He should have never agreed to the extended stay, but he'd felt that he owed it to the O'Learys to have some extra time with the boy before he had to start school.

Then there was Granger, always on his mind, though he didn't want her there. He'd done what he swore he'd never do again. He'd become involved with her. Oh, he doubted very seriously that she'd see it that way, but that was how it was. He let the bloody chit come over here every day!

She'd come down to his lab as well, invading his workspace, helping him with potions, babbling on about her children, her life, and trying to get him to open up about his. He tried his best to ignore her requests, but it was becoming harder and harder to do, so in turn, he became more detached and distant. Or he'd tried to, he admitted.

He looked over at a workbench and shuddered as he remembered taking her there, wanting her even now. It had been rough and fast, and when she'd cried out his name, he thought he'd explode from the inside out.

There were also times when she'd brought him treats when she'd made things for her children, different types of plants and herbs, and, sometimes, flowers for certain potions. It was almost as if she were courting him, had that idea not been so absurd. He'd never once given her anything, not even a small token of any kind.

Oh, but he'd wanted to. When he'd been Christmas shopping for Liam, he'd seen a dozen things that brought her to his mind, but he'd ruthlessly shut down those thoughts.

The last time they were having sex, he'd made the mistake of looking down into her expressive eyes, so full of him, and had to fight the urge to demand that she tell him she was his. He wanted to possess her, own her... belong to her. He wanted them to belong to each other, and that was something he would not tolerate, not after the way things had ended with both Lily and Shannon. No, he was going to have to end their little affair and do it before she left for the holidays.

Though she'd not told him of her plans, he had no doubt that she'd be going home to visit with her children for Christmas. Perhaps if he ended things before she left, then she would stay home and not return back here to taunt him. Out of sight, out of mind; he had to believe that! There was nothing else for it; things had gone too far already. Severus didn't doubt that he'd hurt her, but he was sure the pain of ending things wouldn't last long for Granger. No, she'd be fine just as he would, Severus persuaded himself.

He was torn from his thoughts when he heard, "Severus? Are you home?"

"Down here," he answered.

He watched as she walked down his stairs into his workroom, looking lovely as she always did. He scowled at her. She was carrying a tray of something that smelt delectable. "What do you need?"

Hermione tilted her head to the side, looking at him, confused. "Need? Nothing. I've just come to see you, that's all. Here, I've brought you some leftover fudge that I made for the children."

Severus slammed down his stirring rod and glared at her. "I didn't ask you for any fudge!"

"No, you didn't. But then again, why would you? You had no idea I'd be making it. What's gotten into you?"

"Not a thing. I'm just working now, and I don't have time to entertain you. I never requested you to come here every day, Granger." He kept telling himself to end it now, but somehow, he couldn't form the words, so he decided he'd just be nasty to her and see if she would do it for him.

"Entertain me? When have you ever entertained me, Severus?" She threw the tray down on an empty workstation, and he had to turn away from the hurt expression on her face. "I just wanted to see you, that's all. I'm leaving in a couple of days for home to visit with the kids over Christmas break."

"Yes, I figured that you would." They stood a few moments in silence, and he knew that she was waiting for him to ask her when she'd return. He refused to.

She sighed. "I plan on returning Christmas night as the children will leave to be with Ron." He simply nodded. "He's, ah... Ron, that is, he's marrying Lavender over Christmas while the children will be there."

Severus did look at her then, wanting to see in her eyes how she felt about Weasley getting remarried. He shrugged defensively when he realized that she was hurt, fighting the tightening of his own chest. "That would be the practical thing for him to do, though I can't see why he'd willingly tie himself down again so fresh from his last marriage."

Hermione shook her head. "I also received a letter from the Ministry letting me know that if I'm not back at work after the New Year, they would have to replace me."

Again, he said nothing. If he gave her an opinion, then he would have to be involved in her life in a way that he couldn't allow himself, though he wanted to tell her not to go back permanently.

"Severus!" she said, exasperated. "Did you hear me?"

He sneered. "Of course I heard you! What do you want me to do about it, Granger?"

She gritted her teeth, and he prepared himself for her to end things. "My. Name. Is. Hermione! Stop calling me Granger to make this little fling less personal for you! It doesn't change the fact that you fuck me almost every day!"

"That'll do," he warned as he walked to her. "You're mad because I won't tell you what I think you should do with your life, Hermione, but that's just it. It's your life. You will decide what you decide. I should have no bearing on your decisions, as they've nothing to do with me."

Hermione pressed her hands to her stomach as if she were going to be sick. "You don't care, do you? I could leave right now and never return, and it wouldn't even matter to you, would it?" When the first tear fell, she brushed it angrily away.

"I would miss fucking you," he told her crudely, hoping she would go and end his wanting.

She raised her hand to slap him, and he grabbed her wrist, pulling her body close to his. He couldn't do it. He wasn't ready yet for her to end things, though he despised himself for needing her. He grabbed the back of her head, and with his lips merely inches from hers, he whispered, "What do you want me to say? That'd I'd miss you?" He inched closer to her mouth, and her eyes fluttered closed as she licked her lips right before parting them.

He wanted...damn it, needed...to see the expression in her eyes when he took her lips for the first time. "Open your eyes, and look at me, Hermione." When she obeyed him, he moved his lips even closer to hers, enjoying her breath on his face. "Damn you, I..."

"Severus! Surprise!" Severus practically flung Hermione from him as Narcissa Malfoy descended the stairs, prattling on.

"I know that I'm not supposed to be here until next week, but Lucius and I couldn't stand the thought of your being here alone for Christmas! Not with Liam away! Lucius will be here later tonight; he's got some Ministry business to finish up. You do remember telling me that we could have our annual New Year's Eve bash here this year, don't you? I'm so looking forward to..."

Severus folded his arms over his chest as Narcissa discovered that he was not alone. He'd forgotten about that blasted party! Merlin's hairy balls! He nodded once, a severe expression on his face. "Narcissa. You're welcome, as always."

Ignoring Severus, Narcissa turned to Hermione. "I know you, don't I?"

"Yes, Mrs. Malfoy. I'm Hermione Weasley, though you'd likely remember me as Hermione Granger."

Narcissa clapped once. "Right! Granger! How are you, dear?"

Hermione looked at Narcissa with wide, shocked eyes that almost caused Severus to grin. She likely didn't know that the amount of help that Potter, Weasley, and she had given Draco in the final battle would forever put her in the Malfoys' good graces, if not Draco's.

"Er... Fine, thank you. I hope that you and Mr. Malfoy are well."

"Oh, we're just fine! And your husband? Forgive me; I can't recall his name..."

"Ronald Weasley, though he's no longer my husband. We're lately divorced."

"Oh, I see. How dreadful for you," Narcissa said almost sincerely, but Severus noted the gleam in her eyes and decided to stop her before she got started.

"Not when you consider that she walked into her home and found him in her bed with another woman," Severus informed Narcissa.

"Severus!" Narcissa scolded. "What a thing to say! Don't embarrass her like that!"

"It's perfectly fine," Hermione said, though the quivering in her voice gave her true emotions away and caused Severus to turn to watch her.

"He's right. I did find Ron in our bed with another woman, but really, that was merely the last straw. We had our share of problems." Turning to Severus, she said, "You'll excuse me, won't you? I have some packing to do before I leave, and you'll want to visit with your friends, of course."

"Oh, don't go, Mrs. Weasley. Stay and dine with us! With Liam gone..."

"She can't stay, Cissy, she's packing to do," Severus interrupted in a tone that let the two women in the room know that he had no intentions of dining with Hermione nor discussing Liam.

Hermione smiled at Narcissa. "Please, call me Hermione. And Severus is right; I really do need to go. I thank you for the offer though. Another time, perhaps?"

"Count on it," Narcissa said and had Severus raising his eyebrow in her direction.

"Good night," Hermione said to them both and hurried out of the room.

Once Narcissa heard the front door close, she rounded on Severus. Before she could speak, Severus held up his hand to stop her. "No. I will not discuss her with you, so don't ask me."

"But, Severus! She's lovely! She would be perfect for..."

"I told you no, Cissy. Now, I need to finish my brewing for the night, and then I will take you out to dinner. Please feel free to go upstairs and freshen up."

Narcissa simply smiled and nodded. "All right, Severus. I do have a party to start planning for, after all. I will busy myself with that until you're ready to go."

Severus shook his head as she walked up the stairs. "No doubt planning something, that one. I won't have a moment's peace while she's here."

He walked to his cauldron and looked down into his ruined potion. Sighing, he vanished the contents and thought about Hermione and the fact that he'd almost kissed her before Cissy had walked in and stopped their little tête-à-tête. He could at least be glad for small favors. It would not do at all for him to kiss her.

He was convinced now more than ever that he was going to have to end things with her. Just as soon as she got back from seeing her kids and the Malfoys left. He would end things then.

A/N: Well, it looks like both Hermione and Severus have some decisions to make.