Friends and Empathy: 1970 - 1972
Chapter 3 of 24
starmomSet in the time of Voldemort's first rise, this is a tale of choices and consequences, darkness and light, love and hatred, laughter and tears, and of trust and betrayal. Lily Evans, Severus Snape and Peter Pettigrew each provide a piece of the puzzle and, by telling their individual stories, the whole is revealed. By the time we reach that fateful night in Godric’s Hollow, we learn that truth is neither black nor white, and that we are all vulnerable to evil.
This novel-length fic was completed before the release of DH. Illustrations are by anemonesque.
~ 2008 Quill to Parchment Runner-up: Best Marauder Era Fic ~
ReviewedFriends and Empathy: 1970-1972
Peter Pettigrew: 1970 First Year
Peter stopped short as the corridor dead-ended at a rusty suit of armour that was missing an arm.
"Oh, no! Not again! I know I'll be late...I hate being late!" Peter wailed to the unresponsive yet imposing hunk of iron. He turned on his heels in frustration to find another route to his Transfiguration class.
After his first full week at Hogwarts, Peter was still getting lost on his way to classes. As hard as he tried, he couldn't seem to tell one stairway or corridor from the next. It didn't help that the stairs moved without warning. What made it worse was that Peter had a very hard time asking for help from the other students, all of whom seemed so assured and confident and so big! He still wondered how on earth he'd been sorted into Gryffindor; he had never been all that brave. He'd always depended on the safety and security of his home and the protection of his mother. And while he'd been excited to start school and finally become a full-fledged wizard, Peter was having a much harder time getting used to feeling so... alone. Alone and vulnerable.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Peter never felt alone or vulnerable at home. At home, he was the apple of his mother's adoring and never-wavering eye. Brandiwine Pettigrew had married Peter's father, Eustace, just out of school. Eustace earned a fair living as an importer of magical goods from other countries, providing a wide range of wares to shops in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Brandiwine's sole dream in life was to become a mother. Aside from caring for her husband, it was all she had ever wanted. Of course, having Eustace away travelling on business for significant periods of time made it a bit more challenging to realise that dream. And it was her dream; Eustace didn't seem to care much one way or another, although he thought it would be good for his wife to have something to look after when he was away. After many years spent trying to get pregnant, seeing fertility Healers at St Mungo's and trying every potion, draught and spell both sanctioned and suspect, Brandiwine finally and reluctantly began to accept that her life's dream would remain unfulfilled.
It wasn't until she was well into her forty-third year that Brandiwine, surprised and overjoyed, found out that she was, at long last, going to have her child!
Peter could hardly recall a time when his mother wasn't at his side. She even slept in his room when his father was away on business. Brandiwine made sure Peter had every comfort and took care of his every need. Since Peter was shy, she found friends for him and brought them over to play. She rushed him off to St Mungo's at the slightest cough or runny nose. She fed him all his favourite treats all the time, which, to Brandiwine's delight, put a nice, chubby body onto Peter's short frame. Brandiwine loved her son completely and Peter loved her in return.
Peter's father, however, was another story entirely. Peter adored his father and was always exceptionally well behaved on the occasions when Eustace was at home, hoping for some words of recognition or acknowledgement. However, the only words his father offered up were crumbs like, "Good morning," or, "Where's the paper?" or, "Have you seen my boots?" Eustace was not deliberately unkind to his son, it was just that he hardly gave the boy any thought at all. Peter was Brandi's to fuss over.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Peter was running down the third floor corridor to get to his class. Not being in particularly good shape, he was breathing hard, his head down, when he ran smack into a black robe and fell, sprawling on the floor. Peter looked up and, to his horror, saw a small clutch of seventh-year Slytherins looking down and laughing at him. Peter froze. He'd met them before. He began to breathe harder and sweat profusely.
"Who's the little, round runt?" one of them sneered.
"I remember him. We played with this one the other day? Don't you remember, Anton?"
Peter tried to scoot back along the floor and stand, but the one called Anton put his foot on his stomach, anchoring him to the ground.
"Oh, of course! We needed a new Quaffle, so we tried him on for size!" Anton sneered. "He didn't bounce very well, though. Most unsatisfactory!"
"Well, I'm bored," drawled another, advancing on Peter. "I have an idea! Maybe he'd like to see the view from atop the new willow tree!"
Peter tried to wriggle out from under the Slytherin's foot, but Anton only pressed down harder.
"You're hurting me!" Peter managed to squeak.
"It speaks!" the one with the white-blonde hair said in mock astonishment, then leaned in close to Peter's reddening face. "Well, round one, would you like to go flying without a broomstick?"
"Well, he can't use yours anyway, since it's already stuck well up your skinny arse!"
Peter found his stomach suddenly released and saw all three Slytherins whip around, wands out, to face a small, gangly boy with a shock of dark hair and glasses, whose own wand was well in hand. To his great surprise, Peter saw that the boy defending him was James Potter, a boy his own age, standing up against three boys...no, three Slytherins...who were much older and bigger! James was in his House, but Peter had never spoken to him.
Realising he could finally move, Peter scrambled to his feet and sprang to James' side, pulling out his own wand.
"Oh, it's two brave, little Gryffindors we have here, boys!" said the blond one.
"That's right," said James coolly. "And these two Gryffindors observe that you seem to have lost your way. I believe there's a nasty family of foul-smelling Bundimuns down in the dungeon looking for you. They say you're related!"
Peter's heart stopped. James was insane. Brave, but insane. Surely, they were going to be dead in another minute. But as he stood next to James, Peter felt himself, well, brave too!
"Oh! That explains the horrid smell coming from Anton's foot!" Peter quipped, his wand hand shaking harder than he wanted it to. He was pleased when James shot him a nod of approval.
"Boys! Boys! Let's move along now!" The rotund Professor Horace Slughorn had rounded the corner and was advancing on them. Peter allowed himself to breathe for the first time. Cautiously, everyone stowed their wands in their robes. The seventh-years turned on their heels and, with a leer and a huff, moved off down the corridor.
Professor Slughorn made sure they were gone and then turned on Peter and James. "And you two should be in class! What are you doing out here?"
James and Peter spoke at the same time: "I got lost..." "was excused from..." "looked the same..." "have a note..." "they ganged up..." "just returning...."
"Never mind, never mind," said Slughorn, dismissing them with a wave of his hand. "Just get to class...and, for heaven's sake boys, consider your odds next time!" They noted with delight that Slughorn winked at them as he walked off.
"A family of Bundimuns?" Peter asked James, confused.
"Don't ask." James shook his head with a wry smile and held out his hand. "James Potter."
Peter took it, smiling. "Peter Pettigrew. Thanks for...."
"Don't mention it," James interrupted with a shrug as they started to walk towards their class.
"But, weren't you scared?" Peter asked, eyes wide.
"Terrified," James replied. "But I couldn't let a fellow Gryffindor be treated like that!"
"You could have been hurt, though!"
"I didn't really think about it. I suppose it was a bit stupid." James smiled sheepishly.
"It's a good thing you are! Feel free to be stupid with me any time you like!" Peter laughed.
They reached their classroom and James held the door open. "After you, O Round One!"
Laughing together as only newfound friends can, Peter and James swept into their class.
Lily Evans: 1971 Second Year
Lily and Alice had a strong grip on the base of their Cactii Draconius, and protective eye shields and gloves firmly in place, they gave the spiky plant a good shake. They stepped back and waited.
"I wonder if we shook it hard enough," Alice muttered, looking at the odd plant quizzically. "Why didn't the needles fall off?"
"Maybe you should try it again?" suggested Sirius, sitting across the table from them. He turned to his Herbology partner. "Don't you think they should try it again, James?"
James pondered the question seriously. "Oh, yes... I think Sirius is right. Give it another go!"
As Alice reached for it, Lily yelled, "NO! Alice! Don't..."
But Alice did. Lily saw the boys dive under the table just as the plant exploded in flames, soil and dozens of very sharp needles flying through the air.
The greenhouse filled with thick smoke and the sounds of gagging second-year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. They heard Professor Sprout incant, "Combibo" and the smoke quickly drained out of the greenhouse.
Alice appeared out of the smoke with her fringe half singed off. Both she and Lily were covered in potting soil. Everyone in the classroom, still coughing, picked off the needles that protruded from their robes and hair.
James and Sirius had stuffed fists into their mouths to keep their hysteria at bay.
Lily glared at them both.
"Miss Evans! Miss McGuiness!" Professor Sprout was clearly not pleased at this disruption. "I suggest that next time you check your watches to see that the required three minutes has elapsed before taking the cacti in hand! You've wasted a perfectly good crop of needles, and now I'll have to explain to Madam Pomfrey that she'll have to wait another month for a full supply! Ten points from Gryffindor!"
Sirius and James stopped laughing.
"For homework: a foot long essay on the result of combining gillyweed and murtlap seeds. Class dismissed."
Lily flung off her goggles and gloves and, with a jerk of her hand, grabbed her bag and Alice. "Come on!"
"Lily! Ow!" Alice tripped as Lily practically dragged her out of the greenhouse.
Lily was breathing hard, and her eyes were narrow and focussed forward as she marched with Alice in hand towards the castle. James and Sirius ran to catch them up.
"Er, we're really sorry, Alice...Lil..." stammered Sirius.
Lily stopped abruptly and turned, causing the other three to crash into each other as she pulled up short.
"DON'T call me 'Lil'! It's Lily, if you please, Mr. Black! That was a terrible prank to pull! We could have been badly hurt! It was mean and childish! And to make it worse, you lost us points!"
"Lily," Alice said, putting a hand on her arm, "it's okay...."
"NO! IT'S NOT OKAY!" Lily yelled, pulling her arm away roughly. Alice stepped back, a bit alarmed.
Lily's anger seemed to be overwhelming her, which in turn caused her to feel both confused and scared. She had no idea where these intense feelings were coming from...or why. She turned from the three of them suddenly and ran into the castle, stopping only when she got to the main entrance hall. Breathing hard and not wanting to see or talk to anyone, she tucked into the nearest empty classroom.
But it wasn't empty.
"Lily? Whatever is the matter?"
Lily whipped around to see Remus Lupin coming towards her, his soft brown eyes filled with concern. They looked so sad. Lily burst into tears, fell upon his shoulder and sobbed.
Remus managed to manoeuver them both to nearby seats. Lily couldn't see the look of surprise on his face as he held her shyly, patting her on the back.
As she calmed, Lily sat up, and Remus gave her his handkerchief.
"Thanks, Remus." Lily took it from him and blew her nose. "I didn't know people still carried these."
He smiled. "My dad says that a man always needs to carry one. You never know when you'll meet a lady in distress!"
Lily laughed, relieved to be laughing. "Tell your dad he was right!"
"I don't want to interfere," Remus said a bit awkwardly, "but if you want to talk about it...."
Lily looked at him. Remus was a Gryffindor and known to be in thick with James, Sirius and Peter. But he was... different from the others. She didn't know how she knew this, but she did. He was thin with light brown hair that often fell over his eyes. Many of the boys in her year had started to grow tall, but Remus wasn't yet one of them.
Lily deflected his question. "You first, Remus! Why are you here all alone in this classroom?"
"Doing detention for McGonagall. I just finished organising her Transfiguration books." He indicated the bookshelves in front of the classroom.
"You? Detention?" Lily said skeptically. "It was Sirius' fault, wasn't it?" She looked him directly in the eye. He held her gaze and smiled.
"No one will ever know!" he demurred, his eyes twinkling, holding the secrets of his friends intact. "Okay, your turn!"
"That's just it, Remus...I DON'T KNOW!" Lily sprang to her feet and began to pace. "I'm fine one minute, and the next, these... FEELINGS take over! They come out of nowhere! And what's even stranger, it's like they're not even MY feelings! It happened last night, too! I woke up in the middle of the night, crying. I assumed it was just a dream. But then this morning, Cassie, who sleeps next to me, told me she'd had a terrible nightmare about her parents being attacked by Death Eaters. And when she told me...and I don't know how or why...it's as if I knew how she had felt."
"And what happened just now?" Remus asked.
Lily stopped pacing. She told him about Sirius and James' prank in the greenhouse, and Remus fought and failed to suppress a laugh. Lily slapped him on the arm.
"It wasn't funny! I was mad, of course, but then, when Professor Sprout laid into us for ruining her crop... it was like... well... I can't explain it properly. I completely hacked off!"
"So when she got angry, you did too?"
Lily nodded. "But, why would I do that? It doesn't make any sense!"
Remus thought for a moment. "Has something like this ever happened to you in the past?"
Lily sat down again, creasing her brow as she considered this. She thought about being at home this past summer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been a lovely summer with her family. Well, with most of her family. The Evanses had gone to their lake house, same as they had every summer since Lily could remember. She loved the small cabin where she and her older sister Petunia would tell ghost stories to each other at night. They had always been close, sharing everything until Lily's eleventh birthday when she discovered that she was, in fact, a witch...and that ghosts weren't only found in stories. After that, Petunia had gone all strange and would hardly speak to Lily when she returned home after her first year at Hogwarts.
Fortunately, Lily had her 'summer mates'; other Muggle children who had been going to the lake like them for years and years.
There was one early evening when she, the twins, Brian and Stuart, and Meggie and Josephine had made a campfire by the lake and were roasting marshmallows. Lily was so excited to share her amazing new experiences at Hogwarts with her friends. She had told her family, of course, but Petunia would run off every time the words 'magic,' 'Hogwarts,' 'wand' or 'wizard' were mentioned. In the end, Petunia spent a lot of time in her room.
The summer mates were all excited to hear Lily's tales of magic. Lily sensed that they thought she was making it all up, but enjoyed hearing her tell about it just the same.
"So ey lay on oomsticks?" Brian said through a mouth full of marshmallows.
Meggie hit him with her stick. "Have you no manners, Brian? Don't speak with your mouth full."
Stuart translated. "Brain here said, 'So they play on broomsticks?' Right, Brain?"
Brian finally swallowed. "Sounds like football in the air! So cool! Can you show me?"
Lily shook her head, "Sorry, Brian. Can't do it. I'm not allowed to do magic at home."
Josephine crossed her arms. "Of course you can't," she drawled, rolling her eyes.
Stuart stood up. "C'mon, Lily! Hop up and I can be your broom!" He was a tall, fourteen year-old boy that Petunia had once had a crush on. Lily laughed, and the others egged her on, so she climbed up on Stuart's shoulders. He began to race along the lakeshore, and Lily pretended she was batting Bludgers while the others cheered them on. On one of their turns, they stopped abruptly when Petunia suddenly appeared in front of them.
Lily's laughter died as Petunia stood there silently, red-faced and fuming.
"Hey, Tune!" yelled Brian. "Where ya been? Want a marshmallow?"
Petunia ignored Brian and continued to stare at Lily, who clambered down from Stuart's shoulders. Petunia's face was nearly purple. She looked like a cobra ready to strike.
"Petunia?" Stuart asked, clearly confused. "What's up? Why are you...?
"How can you?" Petunia hissed, glaring at Lily and ignoring Stuart. Lily stepped backwards in the face of her sister's advance.
"C...can I what?" Lily stuttered. Petunia was scaring her.
"Talk about...that...in front of...normal people!" Petunia screamed, and Lily tripped and fell on her backside. Petunia glared down at her for a moment, and Lily saw something vital in her sister's eyes retreat, as if behind a door.
Then, the door slammed shut.
Hard.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily was shaking as she recalled this memory to Remus. "In that moment, I was filled with a terrible sadness, like someone had died. It was a horrible feeling. I was so scared and confused, and then Petunia left, and the feeling went with her."
She looked at Remus. "What do you think it means? What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you, Miss Evans."
Lily and Remus leapt to their feet, alarmed and surprised to see their headmaster sitting at a desk behind them.
"Professor Dumbledore, sir! We didn't see you..." Remus started.
"Of course you didn't, dear boy. No matter." The headmaster stood up and walked over to the two very nervous students.
"No need to be frightened, children. Neither of you has done anything wrong. Please have a seat." They did, shifting uneasily. They had never been this close to, or had a private conversation with, their headmaster before.
Dumbledore looked at the two of them with a smile that relaxed them considerably. "Now, Miss Evans, from what I have I heard it seems that Hogwarts has an Empathic amongst its students!"
"A... a... what, Professor?" Lily asked.
"An Empathic. It's a rare and very special gift found in only a few witches or wizards in any century."
Remus looked at Lily with wide eyes and then asked, "What does an... Empathic do?"
"An Empathic is able to feel into the hearts and souls of others," Dumbledore explained as if he were describing something simple, like scrambling eggs.
Lily suddenly felt her pulse beating hard and rapid. "But...it's horrible, Professor! I don't WANT to feel into people's hearts and souls! Can't you make it go away?" Lily felt her panic grow and tears spring to her eyes. "Please, Professor! Make it stop!"
Dumbledore reached over and took Lily's hands. He pulled her eyes to his.
"It can't be stopped, I'm afraid. But I can help you," Dumbledore said softly. "This is a great gift, Lily. I know it doesn't seem that way to you now. But it is a gift that will, over time, enable you to see the truth within people. To know love more fully than most people will ever know. And yes, to know other feelings as well. But, I can reassure you that this knowledge can be controlled so that these feelings don't overwhelm you as they do now."
"You...you can help me?" Lily asked, calmer now as the headmaster held her hand and her eyes. "How?"
"Well, not to flaunt my many considerable abilities, but I myself am an Empathic." Lily and Remus were at once surprised...and not surprised...to hear this. "I shall arrange times for you to come to my office for...shall we call them 'lessons'?" Lily nodded.
"Good!" Dumbledore stood and smiled at her. "I'm very pleased! I think we shall have a very great adventure, don't you?" He started out of the classroom, but stopped. "One suggestion." Dumbledore looked back at them, putting his finger to his lips. "Let's keep this between ourselves for right now. We wouldn't want to create any unnecessary... problems. Agreed?"
Lily and Remus nodded in silent agreement. They looked at each other for just a moment, and when they turned back, Dumbledore was gone.
Severus Snape: 1972 Third Year
Severus was hunched over his homework in the Slytherin common room, carefully crafting his Defence Against the Dark Arts essay on 'The Most Effective Defensive Spells to be Used While On the Run or Trapped in Small Spaces'. He sat up to examine his work so far and sighed. This is ridiculously easy, he thought, reading it over. When will we get to the advanced material? Severus often thought that most of the assigned coursework so far was beneath his real abilities.
"Snape!"
Severus looked up to see the hulking form of Goyle, a sixth-year, whom he thought was a boor and an imbecilic troll. But he kept those thoughts to himself.
"Goyle. What is it?"
"You're the Potions genius. Help me with this assignment." This was a command, not a request.
Never one to act rashly, Severus stared at Goyle for a moment, assessing the situation. Goyle was large, mean and never hesitated to use his wand or his fists when it suited him. Besides, Severus had learned that there were benefits to accommodating those who had...or used...power and advantage.
"Of course." Severus held out his hand to take Goyle's parchment.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Severus Snape was no stranger to the abusive sort. His mother, Eileen, was a kind woman who did her best to provide her son with a modicum of love and affection. She also tried, when she could, to teach him some of what she knew about the wizarding world. His father, Tobias, however, was a bitter and angry man, a Muggle who, frustrated and indignant at his inability to advance in a financial firm, had quit his position. This proved to be a terrible mistake that left the Snape family in severely reduced financial circumstances. Those circumstances worsened as his father's relationship with alcohol increased along with his violent outbursts.
A small and scared five-year-old boy flung himself at the large hand reaching out to strike his mother, already bleeding and lying on the floor.
"Mum!" the boy screamed through his tears and grabbed hold of the outstretched hand to keep it off his mother. "No! Dad! Stop! Please! Stop!"
The large hand flung him away, like tossing off a used up, dirty rag. The boy landed in a heap, smashing his head into a closet door, gashing his forehead. "No..." he wept, tears mingling with his own blood, helplessly watching the hand continue to lash out, his mother cowering silently under repeated blows.
"Mum!"
Severus had worked long and hard to control and master the feelings of fury at his mother for being unable to stand up to his father and to protect her son. Over time, he watched as she became sickly, both in body and in mind. So the child was mostly left to his own devices, imagination and intelligence, all of which were considerable. He most often retreated into the store of his mother's books, soaking up everything he read. He even succeeded by sheer will to teach himself some rudimentary spells. Not much changed when his parents both died just before his leaving for school: his father was hit by a Muggle lorry, and his mother died from a sickness that ate her alive from the inside. Not that it mattered. He had been alone when they were alive, and he was alone now that they were gone.
Coming to Hogwarts, Severus allowed himself just a flicker of hope that his life would finally be his own, that here he would find respect and his own way in the world. But quickly, he learned that life was not much different among his own kind than it had been at home, and that small hope was quickly extinguished, for once again, Severus found himself the object of continued abuse. If he was lucky, his classmates ignored him. Or, if not, he became the object of their pranks and hurtful stunts. Severus had come to view their horrid behaviour as a test...a challenge...one that he willingly accepted, supported by an inner belief that he was, in the end, better, stronger and more capable than any of them. So he chose to stay by himself, mind his own affairs and focus on his studies.
While encouraged by his teachers, only Albus Dumbledore seemed to pay him some extra notice. It was the headmaster who would be the one to offer a kind word, praise his work or to intervene when someone was doing something particularly cruel to him. Severus was unable to fathom why anyone would care about his well-being. Surely, he thought, the headmaster wanted something from him. What that something was, Severus didn't know. Yet.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Before entering the Potions classroom, Severus handed Goyle back his completed homework, done in a reasonable facsimile of Goyle's own terrible scrawl.
"Better get good marks on this!" Goyle snarled, snatching the parchment.
"Don't worry," Severus sneered, affronted by the insinuation that he would do anything less than perfectly.
He found his usual seat at the one table where he could be by himself and, reaching into his bag to retrieve his book, was startled by a voice close behind him.
"Do you mind if I sit here? I just can't bear that lot anymore. They're insufferable!"
To say that Severus Snape was surprised to see Lily Evans, a Gryffindor whom he knew but had never spoken to, plop down on the seat next to his would be an understatement. However, he was careful not to let her see it.
"Sit where you like," he muttered. Keeping his head down, Severus peered through the curtain of his dark hair to the table where Lily was firing hateful glances. He noted Pettigrew, Potter and Black pointing their wands at a multitude of small spiders they had, he assumed with disdain, unleashed at their table. They were laughing as they tried to zap them all into oblivion.
"I see. Your friends won't miss you?" he inquired casually, masking his curiosity.
"I've put up with their nonsense for two years. It's enough!" Lily said with annoyance, picking out a few spiders from her hair. "I really LIKE Potions, and all their messing about gets ME into trouble! I just can't concentrate, and this year I'm not having any of it." Lily stopped to catch her breath and looked at Severus. "I'm sorry! How rude of me." Lily tossed back her long, red hair, flashed him a genuine smile and held out her hand. "Lily Evans. You're Severus Snape, aren't you?"
Severus was rarely at a loss for words, but found they had abandoned him completely for the first time in his life. The only looks he had ever received from a girl before were ones of sneering contempt and disdain. All he could manage was a curt nod as he gaped and shook her hand. He registered that her hand was small and smooth, unlike anything he'd ever touched before. Finally, he took hold of himself.
"You like Potions?" he asked, although he noted that his voice sounded a bit, well, like someone was strangling him.
"Oh, my, yes! Don't you? Well, of course you do. Everyone knows you're a whiz at Potions."
If Severus was surprised before, it was nothing compared to his reaction at seeing Lily avert her eyes from him...and blush!
Looking down, Lily continued. "Well, that's another reason why I thought it might be a good idea to team up...if you don't mind, that is!" She looked at him directly. "I thought I'd be able to really learn something if we... we could work together."
Severus tried to filter this information, to understand what she was saying. She wasn't here merely to get away from those horrid boys? He glanced over to their table with a feeling of disgust. She actually wanted to work with him? She was still looking at him. He realised that she seemed to want him to say something, even though she hadn't asked him a direct question. Severus was confused. He didn't like feeling confused.
"No... I... don't mind," he managed to say. He was transfixed by another one of Lily's beaming smiles. He really didn't like this feeling and decided it would be best to discourage her. "You may have noticed that your friends don't like me very much. Are you sure you want to be seen next to me? They can be nasty, you know. I don't think you want to be in my company."
She wrinkled her nose and tossed her hand in a dismissive wave towards the Gryffindor table. "They can sod off, as far as I'm concerned. I've seen them be terrible to you, Severus, and I don't like it. I'll never understand how people can deliberately be so mean to each other!" Lily lowered her voice a bit and leaned into him. "I mean, you are a bit aloof, but that's no reason to pour ink into your porridge, is it?" Lily grinned and her green eyes twinkled.
Severus felt so unbalanced by her words, her demeanor, her... sheer earnestness, that he nearly fell off his stool.
Lily looked at him intently as if reading his reaction. Her eyes widened with concern. "Oh, Severus! I'm so sorry! That was a completely insensitive thing to say. I've upset you. Oh, pixie dust! Severus, please forgive me!"
It took every ounce of his energy to rein in his feelings and regain composure. He sat up straight and looked at her directly.
"No need to apologise. I'm... I'm glad. You can share the table if you'd like. I saw your Shrinking Solution last week, and I agreed with Slughorn's assessment. It was quite... good."
At that moment, Slughorn himself appeared before his class and announced, "Good day, everyone! Books open to Chapter Five!"
Lily was visibly relieved, and as she took out her book, she whispered, "Thank you, Severus! You'll see!" She smiled that smile again. "We'll have tonnes of fun!"
Severus had no idea what she was talking about, but he was immediately filled with... something unfamiliar. A light sort of feeling. Someone else would have easily recognised it as happiness.
A/N: Thanks to Angel Mischa, who is wrangling this story on TPP, for saving me from my punctuation sins!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel
50 Reviews | 8.92/10 Average
Excellent, as usual! But, you made me cry . That cheery little scene at home with the Potter's with Harry taking his first steps that Halloween night, James and Lily so proud. That was just cruel to the reader! I'd always figured that with Harry being 16 mo. old that he had started talking and probably walking by the time J & L were killed. But, it was sad to read such a happy moment in their lives being the same night they died. --- I'll get over it in time for the next chapter though.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
I'm just an evil woman. Next and last chapter to be up soon!Thanks!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
I'm just an evil woman. Next and last chapter to be up soon!Thanks!
Oh my gosh! That was an evil cliffie! And I always wondered how Wormtail had Voldemort's wand? Clever! Does Severus realize Lily is dead? Because I remember in book 7 that Dumbledore told Severus that Lily was dead and he broke down in his office.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Livvy
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
The next and last chapter will be in the queue shortly! Remember, this was written before DH came out. You can see for yourself how close I came!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
The next and last chapter will be in the queue shortly! Remember, this was written before DH came out. You can see for yourself how close I came!
to lose your parents and not have a good relationship with your sister is ruff. when peter swore to loyalty he never said to what he was loyal. and Severus is dead on.
You wrote: '... Severus finally met the Headmaster’s gaze and ignored the pain that seemed to tear at his throat as he uttered the words, “It is as we feared, sir. Voldemort has decided it is the Potter boy.” ...'I'm just curious about you having Severus referring to the Dark Lord as Voldemort, even if it is in a private discussion with Albus. It's been a long time since I re-read the books and I may be confused with fanon, but I thought Severus was alwas adament about not using LV's name.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
I'm not certain, but I seem to recall that he refers to Voldy as the "Dark Lord" with Harry, but nothing when in conversation with Dumbledore. So it's a bit of poetic license at this point!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
I'm not certain, but I seem to recall that he refers to Voldy as the "Dark Lord" with Harry, but nothing when in conversation with Dumbledore. So it's a bit of poetic license at this point!
I don't know if I have reviewed before now or not, but anyway, I just wanted to let you know I think this story is brilliant! It had been wonderfully written and each time the end comes, I can't wait for the next chapter - even though I know it's going to end in tears!
I do hope that the eighth book that Rowling mentioned she might do would be a book on the Maurauders Era. There are still so many questions unanswered. But, whether or not she does, I'm glad you've written this!
Livvy
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thanks for your very kind comments, Livvy!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thanks for your very kind comments, Livvy!
Just lovely… all of it. I love exploring the Marauder's era so deeply. You are taking us on quite a journey. You are so insighful about Peter. And I love how you have set up the circumstances that lead to Lily and Severus' fall out.
I think babies are smarter than adults. This chapter was well put together. Your brilliant you know it . The way you tell a story is awesome.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thank you for your very kind words, Arabella!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thank you for your very kind words, Arabella!
Another amazing chapter! Not only do you write a believeable story, [well, believeable within the realm of fantasy] but [and I too thank your beta readers!] I do not have to trip, stumble and fall over bad grammar, mispellings and dreadful structure. It's heaven, believe me!
Your story has just given Severus even more humanity than I had accredited to him ... and that's saying a lot! That he decided he needed to stop before the 'big bang therory' that was Lily's death at the wand of Voldemort. Of course there is also the thought that he was never as bad as 'all that' and he joined the Death Eater's at the behest of Albus in his quest for a spy - though why he would feel obligated to do a favor for Dumbledore is beyond me.
With your creation of Lily being empathic, I can see that tying into the "Book Harry" always seeming to have an intuition about things. [Not that he was right about SS.] Which sort of brings me back around to poor Peter and the screaming Harry. Was the baby just startled, or did he, like a kneazle, just know there is something off about Pettigrew!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
If you've ever had to manage babies, this is pretty typical, startle-reflex behavior. Peter IS a stranger to baby Harry. But we can give the babe some extra-sensory credits if you like!!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
If you've ever had to manage babies, this is pretty typical, startle-reflex behavior. Peter IS a stranger to baby Harry. But we can give the babe some extra-sensory credits if you like!!
This story just gets better and better. THe tension is building and I cannot wait to read your description of the Potters' deaths and how everyone reacts to it.
Livvy
I liked how James and Peter became friends. Lily as an empath—interesting take. I think it totally fits her as we know her in canon.
"Coming to Hogwarts, Severus allowed himself just a flicker of hope that his life would finally be his own" Aww =(
Albus payng attention to Severus as a student. Yes. And of course he would have. He probably had a plan in mind for him even then, or was watching closely to see what would become of such a strong, young wizard. I liked that inclusion. You think of so many little details to put in!
Your description of Lily and Severus meeting (officially) for the first time was wonderful. Different than canon as we now know it, but still good nonetheless. I like how she purposely ditched the Gryffindor lot, not only because of their unruliness but to actually be able to work with Severus.
Great chapter! (I'll get caught up on reading eventually!)
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Hi! I'm so glad you stopped by for a read! This was completed before (by about one month!) the release of DH. I got some right, some close and some not at all. But I think it hangs together pretty well, nonetheless!Happy reading!
Have I said before how fascinating this story is. I loved the way you worked in the line, 'Potter’s need to seek attention...', that being such a point of contention of Sev's with the teen Harry. Makes me wonder if you've gone through the books with a fine-tooth comb or does it just gel together for you?
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Do you mean can I quote chapter and verse? hehehe...Sometimes...I did try to weave in echoes of the 'future' into this story, as a way to build up the characters to the point at which we meet them in JKR's tale.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Do you mean can I quote chapter and verse? hehehe...Sometimes...I did try to weave in echoes of the 'future' into this story, as a way to build up the characters to the point at which we meet them in JKR's tale.
So baby Draco had be born to this evil world his nasty family has helped to make. And Severus and Lucius know Lily is pregnant. Peter is a bastard trader. Finally a fic that has James as a dotting father, usually it's all Lily. Thank you. And Severus got to tell her well part of it anyway. Cool.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Yeah. I always imagine James as a great stay-at-home dad!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Yeah. I always imagine James as a great stay-at-home dad!
I love that Neville's parents are in this story. They rarely are in fanfic. Sirius seems to always found trouble. lol I am going to say this now I do not and will never like Peter the Rat. For those who do, I am truly sorry for you. lol. But I don't. Oh no Severus is the one who killed Regulus. No wonder Sirius can't stand him. Well one of the reason anyway.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Yes,, Peter is rather pathetic - in his own peculiarly cluess way.I don't think Sirius ever knew about Snape offing Reggie (in my version!), but then Sirius never needed real reasons to hate him.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Yes,, Peter is rather pathetic - in his own peculiarly cluess way.I don't think Sirius ever knew about Snape offing Reggie (in my version!), but then Sirius never needed real reasons to hate him.
This chapter was an emotional roller-coaster. You have definitely not turned me off from the story, and I am eager to read more.
I have to tell you that I very much appreciate the way you wrote this chapter. There is no honor, no glory but at the same time the reader is not left awash in confusing double-talk, vagueness or flowery cover-up. You spit it out and left no room for imagining that war can not be that bad.
Because HP is a 'children's book', the evilness of the Death Eaters is not developed to the fullest. But adults surely realize that once the 'soldier' has joined, freely or was coerced into participation, they do what they will because they are as fanatical about the Cause as the Dark Lord, or because they will be killed if they don't do as told. The Death Eaters need to learn the Unforgiveables somewhere... unless their mum is Bella Black, it's not usually something they learn at home. While Dumbledore's Army was learning Jellylegs Jinx and Rictusempra, the Death Eaters are using Sectumsempra and Avada Kedavra. No wonder it took so long to do in Voldemort.
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thanks! Yes, my vision of Voldemort and the Death Eaters (does that sound like a rock band?) is pretty different from most fanfic writers. I think they'd need to be a pretty organized group of trained terrorists to be as effective as they were - especially in the first war. The leaders are smart and deadly, but with a purpose, as opposed to just death and torture for its own sake. So you'll never see my Voldemort on a throne or throwing around 'Crucio's'. Even, Bella, as sadistic as she is, isn't nearly as wacko as she becomes after spending a few years with Dementors.
I just wanted you to know that I've been reading since the beginning and I don't think I've reviewed before, but I wanted you to know that I think it took a lot of guts to write what you wrote. I agree, war is evil and evil acts are committed in warfare.
What was interesting was the sexuality of Severus' examination. I find it interesting that he would make a woman do that under the Imperius Curse. Is Snape deep down a misogynist? Residual mom issues? Lily issues? That he would make a woman do something to a part of her anatomy that is sexual and also to mutilate, as you said, breast, a word he had never said outl oud before, that is very interesting.
Good work on what must have been a gut-wrencher to turn out.
Livvy
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thanks so much livvy! I really appreciate your response to this very difficult part of the chapter. Yes, it was horrible and excruciating to write this and the upcoming parts of this chapter. I honestly hadn't given much thought to the sexuality issues when I wrote this. The idea that a woman would be picked for Severus for his 'test' seemed perversely right to me. On reflection, though, I think that there is some hatred-of-mother and emulating-father thing going on behind it all. It's just horrible, no matter how you look at it.Thanks for sticking through this!
Response from livvy6 (Reviewer)
Absolutely, my fics are SS/OC and I think there is so much sexual dysfunction and stunted development there with women that it comes out in my writing, not to mention he is a very tense and respressed son of a gun!
I got a very interesting review on my latest story. She commented that my fics seem to deal alot with themes of abuse and rape. What can I say? I think he has an obsession with Lily that is out of control and basically he is a psychiatrist's delight! There's more than enough dysfunction to go around.
Livvy
I love this story, and am eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thanks so much! The chapters are going up as fast as the mods push them through the queue!
Your depiction of Severus' possessiveness of his finished potions speaks of the Dark Magic's possessiveness of him. I think of him as being very duty and honor bound, so doing the best he can in his work would be of utmost importance to him. So eager that he does not notice the darkness drawing him in?
Poor boy is so desperate for acknowledgement. It's so sad to think if just one or two things had ever gone the right way for him, he would never have accepted the Dark Lord and could have been one of the most acknowledged, brilliant of wizards to come out of Hogwarts. All but for Fate. [Yes,
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
knows Severus Snape is a fictional character. Really, she does.]
Wouldn't it be funny to listen to Voldemort lisp, 'possessiveness'! He'd get stuck and hiss on forever.
This chapter has a lot of details that help put things together and move the story along.
I liked how you gave a relationship to the Potters and the Longbottoms. You are telling pieces of the story of which I had never given any consideration! Like James' and Lily's wedding, how they got involved in the Order, what Snape did with his life other than at school or once he was a Death Eater . . . And if I didn't know better, didn't know the story or the character, I'd feel almost sorry for Pettigrew. I would be hoping that he would somehow break free or hide or get the Order's help or just flat out refuse in the end. I'd have been hopeful for him, but it makes the story all the more tragic and real, knowing what he will do as per canon as I watch you lead into that. Great stuff so far!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
I did try to fit in EVERYTHING that had been unexplained before DH. Fortunately for me, most of it is still unexplained! And the bits that were... well... I think my versions hold up as possible!Thanks again for reading!
This story looks like it will be a wonderful read. I really enjoy stories that elaborate on canon, especially on events that occurred before Harry was born. I look forward to reading this!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
I welcome you to my small, but hearty band of readers! Thanks for coming on the ride and for leaving a comment!
Finally nagged myself into leaving a review. I love this story! I've been with it since the 4th chapter and can not believe hardly anyone leaves you a review ... including me .
So I sing your praises for a wonderful, believable story. For being prompt with updates, for long chapters, for not whinning about lack of reviews and for just getting on with it because you want to.
I am in no way a fan of any of the Marauders, much less Pettigrew, but you have given Peter life, demension and reason for being the way he is. I've always wondered about how he ended up in Gryffindor, friends with Potter and Black, how he landed in the Death Eaters ... but didn't care enough about him to think about it .
On the other hand, I'm amazed the Snape fans have not found this story. [Yeah Severus!] Maybe he just isn't prominent enough in the story...
Enough blathering. I like the story!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Thanks for making my day!!! I'm so glad you pushed yourself to leave a comment, especially as there are only a handful of you actually reading it!! This is very much a Severus story, more so as time goes on!
Yay to you!
starmom
Oooo, his boss, eh? I loved how you worked the Prewett brothers in! Can't wait for the next chapter (I'm crossing my fingers that Snape's in it, lol)!!
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
Hey, there! Thanks for being one of my small band of readers,
Response from starmom (Author of Trust and Betrayal: A Prequel)
!! And for leaving a review! Yep, Severus is coming up... and he's not doing so well.
I feel like I could envision it all happening.
Seeing it from everyone's point of view makes it easier to get where they are coming from and to see what they went through.