Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Disclaimer: JKR owns it all. I'm just having fun.

Chapter Four

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

The small library at number twelve, Grimmauld Place had always been Hermione's favourite room at headquarters; with its large fireplace, comfortable leather furniture, and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, she felt truly at home. It was definitely one of the perks of living in the old house. Hermione often spent evenings curled up on the sofa, surrounded by books and parchment as she completed her homework for her university classes. This night was no exception – the only difference was that tonight she just couldn't seem to keep her mind on her work.

She stretched, her small cotton tee-shirt riding up briefly to expose her tummy, and then yawned as she twisted her back to the left and then to the right in an attempt to work out the kinks from sitting in one position for so long. Carefully, she picked up all of her parchments, organising them and then placing them in the rucksack that rested on the floor. She then stacked all of the books neatly, in alphabetical order by subject and title, so that she could put them away when she was ready to return to her room.

Her work finally complete for the evening, Hermione settled herself back onto the sofa, her back supported by the armrest. She wrapped her arms around her flannel-covered legs and rested her chin on her knees, her thoughts turning to Ron; she had neither seen nor heard from her fiancé since that fiasco of an Order meeting last week. She had tried contacting him by both Floo and owl, but he had not responded to any of her missives. She had even gone so far as to visit the barracks at Auror headquarters, only to be told that Ron had requested to go on personal leave for a few days; the person she had spoken with had not known when he would return. Even Harry had no idea where Ron had disappeared to.

Hermione was beside herself with worry; Ron had never been out of contact with her for more than a day. She was frustrated with him for hiding from her, but she was also keenly aware that the past seven days had not been without some benefit. She had spent the week mulling over the so-called prophecy, as well as her relationship with Ron, and had reached some unsettling conclusions.

She loved Ron, but she was not completely certain about their long-term compatibility as a couple.

Hermione had always believed that she and Ron were meant to be together, yet something had consistently niggled at the back of her mind. Along with Harry, he was her best friend, and she had assumed their friendship would be a solid foundation for their marriage. Hermione had often worried, however, over their utter lack of common interests. Her mother had once told her that being in love meant that you accepted a person exactly as they were without attempting to change them into who you wanted them to be. Yet, that was exactly what she had always done in her relationship with Ron – forcing him to study, begging (sometimes even bribing) him to read more, insisting they stay in for a quiet evening on a Friday night rather than hit the town as he enjoyed. Ron did the same with her – wanting her to take flying lessons to "get over" her fear of riding a broom, taking her to clubs when she would rather go to a museum, dragging her to Quidditch matches, certain that this time would be different, and she would come to love the sport.

Hermione sighed. The fact was, Ron had been right – they had nothing but magic, Harry, and the fight against Voldemort in common. It wasn't that she believed she had to have everything in common with him – it was good for a couple to have some interests of their own – but they shared no common interests and instead had spent the last four years attempting to mould each other into their ideal mate.

They weren't in love with each other – they were in love with the idea of being in love with each other.

Feeling a headache coming on, she massaged her temples with her fingertips and then removed the bobble and clips that were holding back her hair, allowing the curls to tumble down her back. Reaching into her rucksack, she rummaged around until she found a headache potion. Immediately after she swallowed the foul-tasting liquid, she felt its effects as the pain receded. She idly made a mental note to work on brewing a better tasting headache remedy after she completed her Potions mastery that summer.

Hermione returned to her position on the sofa, her mind instantly returning to its prior train of thought. Her conclusion that she and Ron should not marry had not been as surprising to her as she might have previously expected. It hurt her to think that their relationship was doomed to failure, but it hurt her even more to think that her decision to call off their wedding might break Ron's heart – and ruin the very friendship she so treasured.

She supposed she owed Luna's so-called prophecy a bit of thanks; although she didn't believe Charlie Weasley was the man for her, it had caused her to think about her relationship with Ron and avoid a potentially devastating mistake. Hermione was still shocked that so many who had heard the prophecy that night actually believed that she and Charlie were soul mates. She shook her head; regardless of what they thought, she knew that idea was preposterous. The more she thought about it, the less sense it made. She had no more in common with Charlie than she did Ron! At least she was friends with Ron – she hardly even knew Charlie!

No, Hermione definitely did not believe the prophecy was true. She had always had a problem with the idea of Divination – it all seemed so vague – but she did learn something from that prophecy: she wanted the kind of relationship it had described.

She wanted a relationship with someone who spoke with her "heart to heart" and "mind to mind." She wanted to know what it felt like to be totally enraptured by a man, to only feel truly at peace when in his presence. She wanted the fairy tale; she wanted someone to be the one.

Hermione sighed again. Fat chance there was of that.

She stretched her legs out in front of her and rested the back of her head on the armrest, staring at the ceiling and allowing her thoughts to drift back to the other events of the week. University classes had gone well, as always, although work had been strange. Several times Hermione had caught Severus watching her, only to have him glance away quickly when he noticed that she was looking at him. She giggled a little. Each time, the look on his face had reminded her of a naughty schoolboy. She wasn't quite sure what that was all about, but it had been entertaining.

"You sound happy," Hermione heard a familiar voice say from the direction of the doorway.

Scrambling into a sitting position, her eyes sought out the owner of the voice; she found him leaning against the door frame, his blue eyes tinged with regret.

"Hello, Ron."

***

Hermione and Ron stared at each other for a few moments before she rose from her seat to greet her fiancé with an awkward hug. They sat on the warm leather sofa, one at either end, each attempting to endure the uncomfortable silence.

Finally, Hermione turned her head to face him and spoke, keeping her tone neutral. "Where have you been? I tried to contact you several times."

Ron fidgeted a bit, the fingers of one hand pulling on a reddening ear. "Yeah, I know. I ... erm ... I went to see Charlie."

"Charlie!" Hermione exclaimed, her expression incredulous. "Why?"

"I had to see him! I had to know, Hermione!" he responded, his voice taut with emotion.

She shook her head and her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Don't tell me you honestly believe that rubbish about soul mates? Because that is exactly what it is, Ron – rubbish."

He rolled his eyes. "Come on! You were there; you heard it! Luna is a Seer – of course, I believe it!"

"Luna is not a Seer!" she screeched, her volatile emotions spilling over. She inhaled deeply, managing to rein in her temper. "I know Luna better than anyone, and I am telling you – she is not a Seer. Surely you can see that?" she implored.

Ron glanced at her before turning his gaze to the fireplace. "I'm not so sure about anything anymore."

Hermione's eyes widened in mild surprise. "Ron," she breathed. "I don't know what to say to that – except that I know how you feel."

It was his turn to inadvertently reveal the emotions lurking beneath the calm surface. "You do, do you?" he retorted angrily.

Hermione's heightened emotional state caused her temper to flare again. "Yes, I think I do! I'm ... I'm confused and upset! And you running off didn't help matters in the slightest! It was inconsiderate of you, leaving the way you did without telling anyone where you were going. I've been worried sick! You could have let me know you were leaving or at least responded to one of my messages, so that I would have known you were still alive!"

He looked as if he might return her angry words, but then he raked a hand through his ginger hair. Quietly, he said, "Mum knew where I was, if you had asked her. I had to know, Hermione. I had to ask Charlie about the prophecy. He told me it isn't him, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something he's not telling me."

Discussing Charlie was the last thing Hermione wanted to do. "I couldn't care less about your brother! And of course he said he it isn't him! That prophecy is total nonsense!"

Ron appeared unconvinced by her words. "Mum believes it. So do Remus and Professor McGonagall. Even Snape said it was possible! Why shouldn't I believe it? C'mon, Hermione – you know how prophecies work."

She sighed; this was going nowhere. "It's Mr Snape – and you know how I feel about Divination. Discussing this isn't going to change either of our minds; I don't believe it, and obviously you do."

There was another awkward silence for a few minutes until Ron apparently gathered up his Gryffindor courage and said, "I've done a lot of thinking this past week – and not just about the prophecy either. I'm guessing by the look on your face that you have, too. Yeah?"

She nodded, startled by his unusual insight. "Yes, I have – you, too?"

Ron suddenly stood, moving to stand in front of the fireplace, clearly offended by her question. "Of course I have! What did you think I was doing – playing Quidditch with the dragons?" he asked – loudly.

"Do not yell at me, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione demanded, her own voice having increased in volume.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he apologised sheepishly, "but this is affecting me, too, you know."

Hermione was suddenly overcome with the need to comfort him, and so she rose to embrace the man who had been her friend since childhood.

"I know this is affecting you – how could I not?" she said, her eyes filled with understanding.

Ron shrugged. "You seemed rather put off that I didn't come running to your side the minute you called."

She pulled away and stared at him incredulously. "I seem rather put off that that you just left without telling your fiancée where you were you going! I was worried – and I wanted to talk it through with you. You just left – and then you ignored me! Of course, I'm put off!"

The uncomfortable silence returned yet again. Finally, Hermione whispered, "This isn't getting us anywhere, Ron. You're back now. That's all that matters."

Ron nodded, although he still did not look at her. "Do you want to know what I thought about?"

"If you'd like to share that with me, yes."

He sighed. "If I'd like to? I think I need to."

Nodding her understanding, Hermione said, "I have some things I'd like to discuss with you, as well. Erm ... why don't we sit back down?"

He agreed, and they returned to their seats on the sofa, each turned slightly to face the other.

Ron cleared his throat. "You know I love you, Hermione. I have since fourth year."

She smiled at him. "Yes, and I love you, too. I – "

"Wait," he interrupted. "I need to get this out before I lose my nerve."

Hermione bit her lower lip as if the action would halt any words that might want to spill out, and then nodded, silently urging him to continue.

"When I was in Romania, Charlie and I had a long talk. He asked me what you and I do together that I enjoy the most ... you know, besides the obvious," he said, his ears turning red.

Hermione felt her own cheeks blush in response; that part of their relationship had never been an issue.

Clearing his throat again, he continued, "I couldn't name a single thing we do together that we both enjoy." His eyes were almost pleading with her to prove him wrong, to name something – anything.

She couldn't, and she looked away, staring into the fire.

"I see," he said, his voice unusually devoid of emotion.

He stood and walked to the window, where he looked out into the night.

Hermione finally responded, her words carefully measured and deliberate. "I don't know what you want me to say. We've always known we don't like the same things – this isn't exactly a new revelation."

He spun around to face her, throwing his arms toward her as if welcoming her words. "Right! So why are we together? Charlie asked me that, and I couldn't answer him. I just didn't have an answer."

Hermione's eyes drifted shut for a moment before she responded. "I've been asking myself that same question, and to be honest, Ron, I think it's because ... well, because we just think we should be together."

He quirked a familiar smile at her. "Just like my mum."

Laughing softly, she agreed, "Yes, like your mum. I think we've all just assumed that one day we'd get married, and so we sort of ignored anything that didn't fit with that assumption."

Ron nodded his agreement and then turned back toward the window. After a few moments, she heard him quietly say, "I feel a bit relieved, actually, that the prophecy didn't name me."

"You do?" she asked, shocked and a little hurt by that statement.

"I didn't right away, though, you know," he added quickly, spinning around to face her again. "I was angry at first, but after I thought about it for a while, I realised there's always been something that felt – I don't know – wrong, I guess, between us. Does that make sense?"

Hermione thought for a moment, and then nodded, deciding it was time to get to the crux of the matter. "Maybe it felt wrong because it is wrong. Maybe we aren't meant to be together in that way; maybe we're better off as just best friends."

Ron moved away from the window and crouched in front of her, his expression earnest. "You think so, too? You're not mad at me?"

"Oh, Ron. Of course, I'm not mad at you! I mean, I'm not happy with this at all – I love you! But, yes, I do think that we would be better off as friends." Hermione shook her head ruefully. "We shouldn't get married – we'd just end up resenting each other for not being who we want the other to be. And we'd lose a wonderful friendship – one I cherish more than anything – in the process. I couldn't stand for that to happen."

Relief flooded Ron's face, and he moved to sit on the sofa next to her, draping his arm across her shoulders. "I'm so glad to hear that, Hermione. Honest, I am – and I feel the exact same way." He sneaked a glance at her from the corner of his eye. "Besides, you'll still be family someday." He squeezed her shoulder and pulled her closer to his side. "When you marry Charlie, you'll be my sister!"

Hermione shoved him away from her, inadvertently knocking him off of the sofa to the floor. She laughed, completely exasperated, yet happy their friendship appeared to remain intact. "Honestly, Ron! Don't be ridiculous! I told you, Charlie is not the man for me. Besides, you shouldn't be so anxious to see me with another man!"

He grinned cheekily as he brushed off his trousers with his hands and moved back onto the sofa. "Well, I think he is the man for you! And it wouldn't be so bad seeing you with another man." Her disbelieving look made him laugh; his jealous rages were legendary. "All right, I would hate it, but Charlie is the best, and I know he'll treat you right."

Hermione wondered how she could convince him once and for all that she was not interested in his brother. "I have nothing against Charlie – he's a perfectly wonderful man – but Ron, I have nothing in common with him! You and I just ended our romantic relationship – less than two minutes ago, mind you – because we have nothing in common. Why would I turn around and begin a relationship with another man I have nothing in common with? It makes no sense! Can't you see that is precisely why this prophecy is rubbish?"

"I know you believe that, Hermione, but I think Charlie is willing to give it a go. You should, too. He told me that he could see himself in love one day."

Hermione was utterly and completely gobsmacked. She struggled to gather her wits about her, until she finally sputtered, "What?! Charlie said he could see himself in love ... with me?"

Ron chuckled at her sceptical expression and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "Well, no, not exactly." A raised hand stalled her interruption. "But he did say he could see himself in love. And the prophecy did talk about dragons and all that, so it has to be Charlie. He also told me that he's coming to see you soon. I think you should give him a chance."

She couldn't believe it – this was so aggravating! "He said he's coming here – to see me? All because of some stupid so-called prophecy." She stood, walking to the middle of the room before continuing, her voice emphatic. "I do not believe that your brother is my soul mate. I do not believe this prophecy is real, and I will not allow it to dictate how I should live my life!"

Ron simply smirked at her, and she realised he had been deliberately provoking her ire.

"I knew you'd say that," he said, laughing as he stood and attempted to hug her.

"Ha ha. Very funny, Ronald," she said, pretending to pout and allowing him to embrace her. He hated it when she called him Ronald.

His deep chuckle reverberated in her ear. He grasped her shoulders, moving her away a bit so he could see her face. "Seriously, though, I think he is curious, and he might show up sometime. I just wanted to warn you."

Hermione ignored his statement for a moment, choosing instead to move back into his embrace. She had been terrified that ending their engagement would irrevocably damage their friendship. The fact that he could hold her like this showed that obviously was not the case; it was comforting to her.

Finally, she said, "Fine. I will deal with Charlie when the time comes, but I am telling you for the last time – I am not interested in a relationship with him beyond friendship. He is not my soul mate."

Stepping away from her, Ron raised his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay," he said, laughing. "I can see I'm not going to convince you. Let's just agree to disagree, then. Yeah?"

She couldn't help but laugh, and she hugged him once again. "Well, that's nothing new for us, is it? Okay. We'll agree to disagree." Hermione tilted up her face to look at him, her gaze turning serious, before she whispered, "I'm glad we're still friends, Ron. I was so worried you'd hate me forever." Before she could blink it back, a lone tear escaped the corner of one eye to trail down her cheek.

Ron raised his hand to her face, his thumb wiping the tear away, his voice thick with emotion as he said, "Hermione. I'll always be here for you, you know that. Always." Tenderly, he placed a small kiss upon her lips, then rested his forehead on hers, rocking her gently in a comforting motion.

After a long while, he released her, grasping her hand as he explained, "I should go. I need to go to Hogwarts and see Harry." Grinning sheepishly, he said, "I didn't answer his messages, either."

Hermione could only nod, too afraid her emotions would overwhelm her if she attempted to speak.

"Will you be all right?" Ron asked, his blue eyes searching hers intently.

Somehow, she managed to steady herself and was able to answer, "Yes. It just ... well, it's going to hurt for a while, you know? Things will be different between us and – it will take some getting used to, that's all."

He squeezed her hand in understanding before letting it go and then walked slowly to the door, opening it as he prepared to leave. Suddenly, he turned around to face her. "I love you, Hermione."

This time, she couldn't keep the tears from flowing her down cheeks. "I love you, too."

And then, he was gone.

As Hermione turned away from the door, she sagged to the floor, her knees buckling beneath her, weeping as she mourned the familiar notion of a life with Ron that now would never come to be.

Only four people lived year round at Order headquarters: Hermione, Luna, Neville, and of all people, Draco Malfoy. For Hermione, it was convenient to the Magical University; the other three had jobs in London. Harry had insisted the four live at his house, claiming it was better that it be lived in than just left to sit empty for most of the year.

Ginny Potter had spent the previous night there because of an early morning meeting at St. Mungo's. Her alarm had awakened her bright and early; its shrill shrieking of, "Get up! Get up! Mustn't be late!" must have been Hermione's doing. Now freshly showered and dressed, Ginny left the bedroom to head to the kitchen for a spot of breakfast. She met up with Luna along the way, and the two friends chatted amicably as they made their way to the basement kitchen.

Ginny was laughing at some off-the-wall comment of Luna's as she swung open the door to enter the kitchen but immediately came to a stop at the sight before her. Sitting at the table, staring at the bottom of a cup of tea as if it held all the answers to the ills of the world, was Hermione. Rather than her typical purposeful posture, her shoulders were slumped, and her hair was a dishevelled mess, the wild curls sticking out in all directions.

"Hermione?" Luna asked, her concern audible in her voice. "Is everything all right?"

Hermione started at the sound of Luna's voice – she must not have heard them enter the room – and her head jerked up. Ginny was barely able to suppress a gasp at the look on Hermione's face. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, as if she had been crying for a long period of time, and her face was pale as fresh parchment. Most troubling of all was the look of utter defeat upon her face, the sort of expression Ginny might have expected Hermione to have if she would have failed an assignment when they were at school. Failed? Oh, no. Ginny's eyes closed as she realised what must have happened. Ginny glanced at Luna, only to find Luna staring at Hermione, their faces now equally pale.

She swung her gaze back to Hermione just in time to see the older witch's lower lip begin to tremble as two large tears began to track their way down her cheeks. Instantly, Ginny and Luna converged on Hermione, wrapping their arms around her as she silently cried.

"Ron was here," Ginny stated quietly. She felt Hermione's nod. "The two of you have ... broken it off?" Another nod. Ginny felt like she might cry, as well; her arms tightened around her friend. "Oh, Hermione. I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, and Luna murmured her agreement.

Ginny and Luna simply held their friend for a few minutes until Hermione pulled away slightly to wipe her face.

"I'm all right, honestly. We're still friends, and we always will be. It's just ... well, it's the end of something, you know?"

Ginny looked at Hermione sympathetically. "Of course. Do you – do you want to talk about it?"

Hermione sniffed and shook her head. "No. Really, I'm fine and I have to get ready to go to Renevatio."

"Oh, Hermione," Luna said, her eyes wide, "are you sure? Maybe you should take the day off. I'm sure Snape wouldn't mind."

"Mr Snape," Hermione automatically admonished, "and you're right; he wouldn't mind, but I'm not just going to sit around feeling sorry for myself. Ron and I realised we love each other as friends, but nothing more. This was the best decision for both myself and for Ron. It's just ..." She drifted off, clearly struggling to maintain her composure. "It's for the best. Honestly." She stood. "I'm going to go get ready for work." She pulled Ginny and then Luna into a hug and said, "Thank you, both of you." She gave each of their hands a quick squeeze and then left the kitchen.

Ginny stared at the door for a moment, her thoughts drifting between her friend and her brother before she turned to address Luna. She was stunned, however, to see Luna was now the one with tears streaming down her face.

"Luna! What's wrong?" Ginny asked as she pulled her into a warm embrace.

"Hermione – she's hurting, and it's all m-my fault!" Luna whispered; her quiet sobs were heart-wrenching.

Ginny's eyes filled with comprehension. "Oh, no, Luna, don't think that! It isn't your fault. You're a Seer – you didn't do anything wrong. You couldn't help it," she explained in an attempt to comfort yet another friend.

Luna didn't answer, but continued to cry softly as she clung to Ginny. After a few moments, she quieted, and Ginny said, "Sit down a moment. I need to tell you something."

Luna hiccoughed and looked at her curiously before sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. Ginny sat in the chair next to her, her body turned to face the blonde witch. She grasped Luna's hands in her own as she began to speak.

"You know Ron and Hermione have been friends for a very long time, since they were kids. They care for each other a great deal, and they always will. I love Hermione, and it would have been wonderful to have her as my sister-in-law – if it wasn't for one thing."

Luna's eyes widened in surprise as she asked, "What?"

Ginny smiled sadly as she answered, "Didn't you hear what Hermione said? They just don't love each other that way. You're close to Hermione – surely you saw it. They love each other, yes, but they aren't in love with each other. Hermione might be sad for a while – it is a break-up, after all – but trust me when I say that in the long run this is the best thing that could have happened, for both Ron and Hermione. It's much better that they ended it now than after a wedding, don't you think?"

Luna smiled a little and nodded her agreement. "I thought I was the only one who saw it, and you know me – sometimes I don't always see things the same way as everyone else."

Ginny couldn't help but giggle at that, and soon Luna joined her, their combined laughter filling the small room.

A/N: Up next ... the aftermath and transitions.

My continued thanks to my fabulous betas!