The Attacking Foliage
Chapter 5 of 8
SlashisSillyAfter trying one of Fred and George's new sweets, Harry finds himself in the land of Oz. A cross-dressing Albus Dumbledore, brainless Hermione, cowardly Gryffindor, and snarky Tin Man help him find his way out of the musical and back to the Burrow.
Lucius Malfoy stood before his large crystal ball cackling in an utterly ridiculous manner. Lucius and the winged Kreacher stood by the glowing orb and watched as a picture of the motley crew of the Yellow Brick Road skipping played out before them. He snapped his fingers at Kreacher who then handed the Wicked Witch his wand.
“So! The lively little bunch won’t heed my warning, eh? When I get my ruby scar, my power will be the greatest in Oz! Nobody will think to throw apples at me then!” He scowled at the memory as he concentrated, waving his wand over the crystal orb before him.
*****
Now tired of their seemingly endless skipping, the group was now slowly trudging down the road. The forest had finally begun thinning and they could see daylight. Tin Man Snape scowled at the first sight of blue sky and mumbled something about how sunlight glares off of his chest and into his eyes.
“Honestly, Lion. I was only saying that it would make much more sense for you to live in a house,” commented Scaregnome Hermione.
“Why? You think I can’t protect myself? I’m a lion with sharp claws and teeth and things! I’m a dangerous beast!”
“Well, obviously you can protect yourself since you have been living in the wilderness all this time, and you’re still alive. I was merely remarking upon the fact that since living in the wilderness scares you, you should live inside a house.”
“I am perfectly happy living in the forest, Scaregnome! Thank you!”
Their bickering continued until the group heard Padfoot barking up ahead. Rounding the corner, they saw Padfoot only yards from the end of the forest. From there on out was only miles and miles of grassy knolls.
The sunlight was bright and warm. Harry squinted, looking down their path. He could just barely make out a building of some sort. All he could tell for sure was that it was emerald green.
“Is that the Emerald City?”
“Indeed, it is,” Tin Man Snape answered.
Padfoot barked and wagged his tail. Harry, Padfoot, Scaregnome Hermione, and Cowardly Lion Ron all had a sudden burst of energy and began happily running down the road. Tin Man Snape huffed and stayed where he was. He raised his arms then dropped them back at his sides with a loud clank. Hoping they would soon tire out, he jogged creakily behind them.
The group continued to run along until they all noticed the sudden movement of the clouds, crossing in front of the sun and blocking out the daylight. The group slowed, and a chilling wind swept across them. The air became moist, and the sudden smell of impending rain filled their nostrils.
With loud clanking footsteps, Tin Man Snape finally caught up with the group. “Odd change in the weather,” he remarked.
“You know,” Scaregnome Hermione began, “I’ve been hung up outside on that post for an awfully long time, and the weather never changes this drastically unless...”
“Unless what?” Harry urged her on.
“Unless the Wicked Witch is up to something,” Cowardly Lion Ron finished.
Just then, they heard the muffled sounds of slithering, which seemed to be coming from underground. Padfoot began barking. As the sounds grew louder and the ground began trembling underneath their feet and paws, dark tendrils and sprigs of ivy began pushing up from the soft soil and dewy grass on either side of the Yellow Brick Road.
Harry recognized it immediately as Devil’s Snare, but without his wand, he was helpless to stop it. The tendrils grew out further and longer, waving menacingly at them. With nowhere to go, the group began running down the road in a futile attempt to reach the Emerald City before the Devil’s Snare plucked them one by one off the ground.
Unfortunately, one stray tendril began squirming its way onto the road. Looking over his shoulder to make sure everyone was keeping up, Harry tripped over the plant, falling to his hands and knees. Before he could get up, another tendril darted out and curled around his ankle. It swiftly flung him into the air before curling around his body and squeezing.
Seeing this, the Cowardly Lion sped up to help Harry. Harry reached out for him, but Cowardly Lion Ron could do nothing but paw frantically at his arms.
“Damnit! Why did I have to be born without thumbs?” he cried.
Tin Man Snape began hacking at the base of the tendril with his axe. Scaregnome Hermione grabbed both of Harry’s hands, but her lightweight, straw body was easily pulled into the air with him. Cowardly Lion Ron threw both his arms around her legs in an attempt to hold her down. Unfortunately, even his added weight did little to deter the tremendous plant.
The tendril around Harry’s chest was tightening, and he was having trouble breathing. His grip on the Scaregnome’s hands was loosening, and he felt he would lose consciousness any moment. The last thing he remembered was Cowardly Lion Ron’s cries for help echoing in his mind.
*****
Harry opened his eyes to see his new group of friends huddled around, looking down at him worriedly. A warm breeze brushed his face.
“Oh, Harry! Are you all right?” Scaregnome Hermione asked.
“I... I think so.” Padfoot nuzzled his face with his wet nose, and Harry sat up slowly. Glancing around, it looked as if nothing had ever happened. It was warm, the sun was shining, and the grassy knolls were bare of any monstrous plants. “What happened?”
“It was horrible, Harry! There were these giant plants,” Cowardly Lion Ron began to explain while gesturing wildly with his paws, “and you got snatched up by one of them!”
“Yes, I remember that. I meant, what happened after I lost consciousness?”
“It seems the Lion’s feeble attempts at calling for help actually worked,” Tin Man Snape answered.
Ignoring the snide remark, Cowardly Lion Ron continued, “Alba Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere and began shooting these balls of fire out of a scepter. The plant thing just dropped you, and all of it got sucked back up into the ground. It was wicked!”
Harry’s ribs were extremely sore, but the dizziness had cleared, and he was able to stand.
“Are you okay to continue?” Scaregnome Hermione asked.
“Of course,” he answered, offering his arm. She took it, and Cowardly Lion Ron took the other. Smiling the three began skipping towards the Emerald City. Unfortunately, only after two skips, Harry tripped over his own feet, bringing down the other two with him. Tin Man Snape snorted behind them.
Harry stood up shakily, embarrassed and still in a bit of pain from the Devil’s Snare’s grip. “Maybe we should walk the rest of the way,” he suggested. The other two nodded in agreement.
*****
After watching the events transpire in his crystal orb, Lucius howled in anger. He quickly grabbed his broom and jumped onto the sill of his high castle tower window.
He mounted the broom. “To the Emerald City!” he yelled before flying off.
TBC
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Weasleys of Oz
30 Reviews | 6.83/10 Average
many of us don't read wips.... so complete it.
i haven't laughed so much in so long! this is absoeffinglutely brilliant! you rock so much more than i can possibly express. thanks so much and i look forward to the rest!
George looked at his twin, and Fred looked away, frowning. “Oh,” he said. “Actually we were just thinking you could steal it or something. I mean... heh... I dunno about killing her. That’s a little much, don’t you think, Scaregnome?” *laughs again*Well now I am caught up. I really have enjoyed your writing and I am looking forward to the coming chapters - in which i will not eat, drink or have the cat on my lap when I read them *chuckles*. This has also brought back some pleasant memories of my school days when I was in the small orchestra that played for the school production of The wizard of Oz.Ha-Ha-Ha,Ho-Ho-Ho. and a couple of tra -la-las...Cheers.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you so, so much for all of your lovely comments! You have seriously (or is that Siriusly?) made my day. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that you're enjoying my fic. I was going to take a break before starting the next chapter, but I just don't think I can do that now. :D I'm off to begin working on it!
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
*Evil laugh* I'll get you yet my pretty!
He He! Seriously I am taken aback that you are continuing straight on... Thankyou so much because I have been really taken in with it. But if you or the muse need a break it will be OK too. Cheers.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you so, so much for all of your lovely comments! You have seriously (or is that Siriusly?) made my day. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that you're enjoying my fic. I was going to take a break before starting the next chapter, but I just don't think I can do that now. :D I'm off to begin working on it!
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
*Evil laugh* I'll get you yet my pretty!
He He! Seriously I am taken aback that you are continuing straight on... Thankyou so much because I have been really taken in with it. But if you or the muse need a break it will be OK too. Cheers.
A couple of smirk worthy moments supplied by Snape in what I assume was a difficult chapter to write due to the copious rhyming/clang associations needed. Really well done and impressive.cheers
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
Ohhh I nearly forgot to tell you love Filch and Mrs Norris - his dry humour/straight delivery made me smile. Especially his line about the sweets.
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
Ohhh I nearly forgot to tell you love Filch and Mrs Norris - his dry humour/straight delivery made me smile. Especially his line about the sweets.
"But everyone abruptly stopped singing when Tin Man Snape stood up in the carriage to loudly inform everyone that he had an axe and was more than inclined to use it." and "The workers at the Emerald City parlor were planning on buffing and shining Tin Man Snape, but he complained to the manager about “inappropriate touching of clientele.” Instead, he had his axe sharpened. -OMG! So so good! *bursts into laughter and scares cat resulting in blood been drawn!* “S-E-R-E-N-D-E-R H-A-I-R-Y!” Hoo-hooo-Ha-Ha! *Bursts into laughter again, but thankfully cat has gone. Clutches sides and tears roll down face*and Scaregnome Hermione scoffed. “And the doorman thought we were the illiterate ones!” *continues laughing madly*Oh this chapter is brilliant! Plus I love your casting of Fudge - perfect! Didn't the horse change colours in the movie?- a horse of any colour or many colours I think....Cheers.
“Damnit! Why did I have to be born without thumbs?” he cried. - Great line in a great story. The bickering is pure Ron and Hermione. Nice incorporation of Canon into the story once again - The Devil's Snare part is where they are walking through the poppy fields I take it.Cheers.
ROFL! Oh my you do write so well...the song line about Aragog cracked me up and the lovely dovetaining in of canon Padfoot dragging him by the ankle - brilliant.Hmmm...Snape not afraid of the boggart....perhaps he likes wearing Emerald velvet (He He!)
Why did I try to eat a sandwich and read this? - sheer idiocy! Unless I am trying to kill myself by choking.Eyes widening, Scaregnome Hermione interrupted him, “You haven’t got a heart? But everybody has a heart!”“Oh, really? You mean like everybody has a brain?” he asked sardonically.Gods! that's pure Hermione and Snape.This is 24k Snape gold!I'd be tender; I'd be gentle and awful sentimental.It’s enough to make me barf.I could find myself a wife, who would be sure to cause me strife.If I had a heart.Picture me—a family. Think of all those brats.It wouldn’t take me long to kill the prats.This is so wonderful, thankyou. The only problem I am having with this now is that I am having crossover issues with this and Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The original British 1980s series. Marvin the Paranoid Android was tall and metallic like the tin-man. This crossover comes where the new Marvin in the recent movie (short white and squat) is voiced by Alan Rickman- AAARRGH! LOL! A classic Marvinism is "And you think you have problems." He he! No probs really after being jollied up by this great fic.Off to read the next one....
Nice casting...Great Characterisation...My head’d be filled with knowledge. I’d be able to go to college.My hair, I’d learn to tame.I’d instruct all of my friends, and my lectures would never end.Next chapter... He He!
Weeheeheee!Alba coming out of a lemondrop...suppose it's a variation on the closet (He He). Then quickly followed by - Are you serious/Sirius!! Love it ! Love it! I love all of this from the house elf munckins to Harry's checkered lederhosen hotpants...I am trying to think ahead to who would be who. Now that Lucius has snaffled the other wicked witch role...“Emerald City? Ah, crap, I hope they aren’t Slytherins.” I nearly choked on my drink!I once thought od writing a Wizard of Oz cross over fic, but it died a merciful death early. Your writing is as good as it can get in my book...I'mmmm off the read the next chapeter....wee Hee!
The Wizard of Oz is on TV randomly and I'm reading in tandem and it's amusing me to no end. Good job, I especially like the changing of the song bits. I would have said that Neville would have made a more apropos Cowardly Lion and Ron as the Scarecrow but Tin Man Snape is super funny.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! Before I started writing the story, I experimented with different HP characters playing the major WoO characters and Neville as the Lion and Ron as the Scarecrow were some of my top candidates. However, I didn't want to leave out the trio, and there was never any doubt in my mind who I would be cast as the Tin Man. I thought it was rather fitting since in both the musical and the original books, the Scarecrow was actually very intelligent and the Lion was never all that cowardly when it truly counted (of course, the same could be said of both Neville and Ron, but as I said before, I didn't want to leave out the trio). Reading while watching the movie is probably the best way to do it since I read the next scene of the script before I write the next chapter, and I try carefully to match them up. Thanks again! :)
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! Before I started writing the story, I experimented with different HP characters playing the major WoO characters and Neville as the Lion and Ron as the Scarecrow were some of my top candidates. However, I didn't want to leave out the trio, and there was never any doubt in my mind who I would be cast as the Tin Man. I thought it was rather fitting since in both the musical and the original books, the Scarecrow was actually very intelligent and the Lion was never all that cowardly when it truly counted (of course, the same could be said of both Neville and Ron, but as I said before, I didn't want to leave out the trio). Reading while watching the movie is probably the best way to do it since I read the next scene of the script before I write the next chapter, and I try carefully to match them up. Thanks again! :)
OMG OMG OMGI am ROLLING!!!!Is it sad I was singing along?
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Not at all! :D I was hoping people would just because I've had so much fun writing the songs. I think singing along makes the story that much more entertaining to read.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Not at all! :D I was hoping people would just because I've had so much fun writing the songs. I think singing along makes the story that much more entertaining to read.
Wonderfully ridiculous! This is a real treat to read.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! "Wonderfully ridiculous" is exactly what i've been going for. :D
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! "Wonderfully ridiculous" is exactly what i've been going for. :D
Heeee!!! This is just the kind of silly fun that I needed, everybody has been writing so much angst and straight romance lately.
this scares the mess out of me. i look forward to the next chapter
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Lol! I'm glad you're enjoying it, even if you do find it slightly disturbing.
you have hit the nail on the head i believe
omg that was perfect. i love this!
just read the story from chapter 1 - it's great!
you have soooo nailed the characters from both stories... you had me laughing all the way down the yellow brick road.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm definitely having fun writing it. :D
LOl this story is so inventive and funny. I think I'm going to need funny after I get done reading DH. Keep up the good work.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you!
I normally don't read humor, but this was hilarious! Great job, so far!
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
I'm glad my fic tempted you into reading something new. :) Thank you!
“Some peace and quiet once you leave me alone.”“Revenge!”“The nerve!”After finishing his final line, Cowardly Lion Ron turned to Harry. “Revenge?”“There is a certain pair of twins that I believe I need to take care of...” I cracked up when I read that, even my husband came in the room and had to read it, he started cracking up. I can't wait till they get to Oz.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! I'm glad you found it funny. :)
Lol Hermione as a scaregnome. I just watched the Wizard of Oz and couldn't stop laughing, because I kept picturing the characters of Harry Potter in the roles. I can't for more.
Response from lilbitbord (Reviewer)
Ok I have no idea why this review showed up twice, but since it did I would like to add that your versions of the songs are really funny and creative.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! There will be lots more coming soon. :)Some of the songs were really hard to re-write, so it's good to know that readers are enjoying them. Thank you, again.
Lol Hermione as a scaregnome. I just watched the Wizard of Oz and couldn't stop laughing, because I kept picturing the characters of Harry Potter in the roles. I can't for more.
this is just hillarious
oh god this is madness