The Weasleys of Oz
Chapter 8 of 8
SlashisSillyAfter trying one of Fred and George's new sweets, Harry finds himself in the land of Oz. A cross-dressing Albus Dumbledore, brainless Hermione, cowardly Gryffindor, and snarky Tin Man help him find his way out of the musical and back to the Burrow.
Filch opened the palace doors, and Harry and his motley crew entered a grand foyer. The floor was checkered in light gray and forest green, and the entire room was perfectly symmetrical. On either side of the large mahogany front door was a green brocade sofa and mahogany coffee table with clawed feet. Across from where they stood in the entryway was one of the largest fireplaces Harry had ever seen. The mantelpiece and hearth were made of the same green marble as the stairs leading to the palace. On either side of the roaring fire were three golden doors, and the other two walls held silver doors, six on each side. The high, vaulted ceilings were made of glass and were enchanted just as the ceiling in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Although it was actually daylight outside, a dark, celestial nighttime sky twinkled down at the visitors. The fireplace and the glittering sky, filled with millions of stars and three moons, gave off plenty of light to see by.
They didn't have long to look at the dazzling ceiling as Filch quickly led them through the middle golden door to the right of the fireplace. They entered a long hallway that loomed ahead of them, and they awaited Filch's order to continue walking, but he remained in the entry hall and closed the door behind them. The walls were lined with torches that reflected off the matching marble walls and floor. It was a black marble with flecks of silver. The fire-lit reflections of themselves in the walls were eerie.
Harry took the first cautious step forward, and the group continued down the wandering passageway, remaining silent all the way. The only noises were the lion's and Padfoot's claws clicking on the floors, Tin Man Snape's clunking footsteps, and the random whimpers the lion would produce every few moments. Just as Harry began to wonder how big the palace actually was, for they had been walking for what seemed a long time, the hallway opened into a spacious chamber with a large set of double, mahogany doors straight ahead of them.
"Um..." Everyone stopped walking and turned to look at Cowardly Lion Ron who still stood in the doorway of the chamber. He gulped loudly. "You know... I've been thinking about it, and I've decided to just wait out here for you lot." He smiled nervously.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. What's the matter?"
"He's simply scared... again," Tin Man Snape answered.
"These are supposed to be good wizards. There is nothing to be afraid of," Scaregnome Hermione said.
Cowardly Lion Ron's tense shoulders began to relax, but as the rest of them began to turn back around to face the doors, he yelped loudly.
"What now?" Tin Man Snape barked.
"Someone pulled my tail!"
Harry plucked the end of the lion's tail out of his paws and showed it to him. "It was you."
He shrugged and looked away sheepishly. "Oh."
Once again, as they turned to open the wooden doors, Cowardly Lion Ron stopped them with a low whimper.
He was still clutching the end of his tail, holding it close to his face and shivering with fright. Tin Man Snape, brandishing his axe, stepped towards him.
"Mr. Lion, you can either come with us, or I will cut off your tail, you can stay out here alone in this dark chamber, and we will take it in there to offer it in exchange for courage."
The lion actually seemed to contemplate these options for a moment before nodding and walking toward the group. "Let's just make this fast, 'kay?"
They again moved towards the great double doors, and they slowly swung open. Two loud voices boomed out of the room, speaking in unison, "The great and powerful Weasleys of Oz!" The last syllable echoed down the long hallway. Cowardly Lion Ron trembled, and the scaregnome grabbed onto his arm. Harry was unsure if this was to stop him from running or to comfort herself as she was staring wide-eyed into the room ahead of them.
"Come forward!" the voices demanded.
The group did as they were told, and Harry could hear Cowardly Lion Ron begin to hyperventilate. When they had walked far enough into the room, the doors behind them slammed closed, and the noise echoed and bounced off of the walls and floor.
Inside, the room looked much like the outer chamber, with the same marble floor and walls, but the ceiling seemed to be so high up that Harry could not even see it...the walls simply appeared to run up and up into nothingness. The room was absent of any furniture, and the only door was the one they had come through. On the wall to their left was the largest fireplace Harry had ever seen. Harry would have guessed it was about twenty feet high and twice as wide. A large bonfire was lit within it, but no heat seemed to be emanating from the flames. The light was reflected darkly in every surface of the room and caused the silver specks in the marble to flicker and dance. The mantelpiece of the fireplace was unornamented and made with the same marble as the walls and floor. The fireplace was framed by a dark green, thick velvet curtain, which made Harry think of a theater.
Despite the voices they had heard beckoning them to enter, the room appeared to be empty of anyone except themselves.
Scaregnome Hermione was the first to voice this observation, "Wh...where are they?"
Padfoot barked, and the noise echoed loudly throughout the room. Harry faintly remembered something happening with Toto in the room where Dorothy had met the wizard, but he could not recall the scene fully. He soon pushed it from his mind when the large, licking flames in the fireplace burst brightly and turned an emerald green.
Harry shaded his eyes from the brilliant light. He heard the others beside him gasp and dropped his hand. Two heads had appeared within the fire, formed out of the green flames. He recognized them immediately, as he knew he would. But they looked different. They looked menacing.
Fred and George were not smiling as he usually saw them. Their expressions were stiff and serious. With the lack of color, their hair and irises appeared black. Although made of flames, their faces had strange shadows cast upon them, making their cheeks and the skin around their eyes appear sunken in. Admittedly, Harry thought they were quite a frightening sight.
The two looming heads glared down at Harry and his friends. They spoke in unison, "We are the great and powerful Weasleys of Oz." The voices were deafening, and Harry could feel the vibrations in his chest. "Who are you?"
On the last thundering syllable, Cowardly Lion Ron squeaked loudly. While remaining connected to the continuously moving flames, Fred's head came out of the fireplace towards them. It reminded Harry of a 3D movie he had been lucky enough to see on one of Dudley's birthdays. Fred didn't seem to have a neck that stretched, but rather flames the carried his floating head out to them.
He was twice as tall as anyone in their group, and he glided straight toward the lion. He stopped just before him and glared. "Boo," he whispered.
When the lion screamed and dropped to the floor, the twins began laughing uproariously, and Fred return to his place inside the fire beside George. "Who are you?" they asked again.
Scaregnome Hermione was kneeling beside the lion on the floor. Harry stepped forward. "I am Harry. We've come because..."
"Ha!" Fred interrupted him.
"The great and powerful Wizards know why you have come!" George said.
"Step forward," Fred demanded, "Tin Man."
Tin Man Snape stepped forward with an expression of boredom.
"You dare come to us for a heart, do you?" George asked.
"You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk!" Fred said.
Harry watched Tin Man Snape's grip tighten on his axe and his metal jaw tense. "Actually, no," he replied. "I am only here with this group of blundering fools becau..."
"Quiet!" George interrupted.
Tin Man Snape glared at him. He then spun on his heel and walked stiffly back to the rest of his group.
"And you, Scaregnome, you billowing bale of bovine fodder, have the effrontery to ask for a brain?" questioned Fred.
Scaregnome Hermione looked affronted, but remembered who she was facing before she spoke. She relaxed her expression and stood from where she had been kneeling beside the lion. "Well, yes. Yes, Your Honor. I mean, Your Excellency. I...I mean, Your Wizardry." She bowed her head and grimaced at her stumbling words.
Fred pursed his lips and blew a gust of wind towards them. The others could easily withstand it, but the hay-stuffed scaregnome was blown carelessly across the room. The Wizards laughed.
Harry quickly ran to help her up, and Cowardly Lion Ron stepped up. "Hey now, there's no need to get violent. We came to you for help!"
"Silence!" The twins said in unison.
As quickly as his courage had come, it diminished again, and the lion began to cower.
"The merciful Weasleys of Oz have every intention of granting your requests," George informed them.
They all looked at the Wizards in surprise.
"But first you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very simple task," Fred continued.
The group seemed to hold their collective breath as they waited for their task to be assigned. Enjoying the suspense, the twins continued their dramatic pause. The scaregnome leaned forward as if to urge them to continue. Harry swore he saw George's lips twitch, as if holding back a grin.
When Tin Man Snape huffed and rolled his eyes, George finally told them what they were to do. "You must bring us the broomstick of the Witch of the West."
Scaregnome Hermione gasped. "But... but... we'd have to kill her to get it!"
George looked at his twin, and Fred looked away, frowning. "Oh," he said. "Actually we were just thinking you could steal it or something. I mean... heh... I dunno about killing her. That's a little much, don't you think, Scaregnome?"
"You truly believe she would hesitate to kill us if she caught us trying to steal her broom?" Tin Man Snape asked.
George pursed his lips as if he were thinking about it. Then he looked at them and cleared his throat. "Give the great and powerful Weasleys of Oz a moment to consult one another on your questions... about the... task... we have... assigned," he demanded awkwardly, his voice trailing off towards the end as if he was unsure of what to say. The two flame-heads disappeared for a moment.
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. This was getting ridiculous. Tin Man Snape tapped his foot impatiently. They reappeared after a few minutes, their sober expressions back in place.
"Do what you must. Just bring us the broomstick, and we'll grant your requests," George stated.
"But... but..." Scaregnome Hermione continued to stutter.
"Go!" they yelled in unison.
Cowardly Lion Ron jumped at their command and rushed out the doors with Harry, Padfoot, Tin Man Snape, and Scaregnome Hermione following quickly.
TBC
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Weasleys of Oz
30 Reviews | 6.83/10 Average
many of us don't read wips.... so complete it.
i haven't laughed so much in so long! this is absoeffinglutely brilliant! you rock so much more than i can possibly express. thanks so much and i look forward to the rest!
George looked at his twin, and Fred looked away, frowning. “Oh,” he said. “Actually we were just thinking you could steal it or something. I mean... heh... I dunno about killing her. That’s a little much, don’t you think, Scaregnome?” *laughs again*Well now I am caught up. I really have enjoyed your writing and I am looking forward to the coming chapters - in which i will not eat, drink or have the cat on my lap when I read them *chuckles*. This has also brought back some pleasant memories of my school days when I was in the small orchestra that played for the school production of The wizard of Oz.Ha-Ha-Ha,Ho-Ho-Ho. and a couple of tra -la-las...Cheers.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you so, so much for all of your lovely comments! You have seriously (or is that Siriusly?) made my day. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that you're enjoying my fic. I was going to take a break before starting the next chapter, but I just don't think I can do that now. :D I'm off to begin working on it!
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
*Evil laugh* I'll get you yet my pretty!
He He! Seriously I am taken aback that you are continuing straight on... Thankyou so much because I have been really taken in with it. But if you or the muse need a break it will be OK too. Cheers.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you so, so much for all of your lovely comments! You have seriously (or is that Siriusly?) made my day. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that you're enjoying my fic. I was going to take a break before starting the next chapter, but I just don't think I can do that now. :D I'm off to begin working on it!
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
*Evil laugh* I'll get you yet my pretty!
He He! Seriously I am taken aback that you are continuing straight on... Thankyou so much because I have been really taken in with it. But if you or the muse need a break it will be OK too. Cheers.
A couple of smirk worthy moments supplied by Snape in what I assume was a difficult chapter to write due to the copious rhyming/clang associations needed. Really well done and impressive.cheers
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
Ohhh I nearly forgot to tell you love Filch and Mrs Norris - his dry humour/straight delivery made me smile. Especially his line about the sweets.
Response from reets67 (Reviewer)
Ohhh I nearly forgot to tell you love Filch and Mrs Norris - his dry humour/straight delivery made me smile. Especially his line about the sweets.
"But everyone abruptly stopped singing when Tin Man Snape stood up in the carriage to loudly inform everyone that he had an axe and was more than inclined to use it." and "The workers at the Emerald City parlor were planning on buffing and shining Tin Man Snape, but he complained to the manager about “inappropriate touching of clientele.” Instead, he had his axe sharpened. -OMG! So so good! *bursts into laughter and scares cat resulting in blood been drawn!* “S-E-R-E-N-D-E-R H-A-I-R-Y!” Hoo-hooo-Ha-Ha! *Bursts into laughter again, but thankfully cat has gone. Clutches sides and tears roll down face*and Scaregnome Hermione scoffed. “And the doorman thought we were the illiterate ones!” *continues laughing madly*Oh this chapter is brilliant! Plus I love your casting of Fudge - perfect! Didn't the horse change colours in the movie?- a horse of any colour or many colours I think....Cheers.
“Damnit! Why did I have to be born without thumbs?” he cried. - Great line in a great story. The bickering is pure Ron and Hermione. Nice incorporation of Canon into the story once again - The Devil's Snare part is where they are walking through the poppy fields I take it.Cheers.
ROFL! Oh my you do write so well...the song line about Aragog cracked me up and the lovely dovetaining in of canon Padfoot dragging him by the ankle - brilliant.Hmmm...Snape not afraid of the boggart....perhaps he likes wearing Emerald velvet (He He!)
Why did I try to eat a sandwich and read this? - sheer idiocy! Unless I am trying to kill myself by choking.Eyes widening, Scaregnome Hermione interrupted him, “You haven’t got a heart? But everybody has a heart!”“Oh, really? You mean like everybody has a brain?” he asked sardonically.Gods! that's pure Hermione and Snape.This is 24k Snape gold!I'd be tender; I'd be gentle and awful sentimental.It’s enough to make me barf.I could find myself a wife, who would be sure to cause me strife.If I had a heart.Picture me—a family. Think of all those brats.It wouldn’t take me long to kill the prats.This is so wonderful, thankyou. The only problem I am having with this now is that I am having crossover issues with this and Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The original British 1980s series. Marvin the Paranoid Android was tall and metallic like the tin-man. This crossover comes where the new Marvin in the recent movie (short white and squat) is voiced by Alan Rickman- AAARRGH! LOL! A classic Marvinism is "And you think you have problems." He he! No probs really after being jollied up by this great fic.Off to read the next one....
Nice casting...Great Characterisation...My head’d be filled with knowledge. I’d be able to go to college.My hair, I’d learn to tame.I’d instruct all of my friends, and my lectures would never end.Next chapter... He He!
Weeheeheee!Alba coming out of a lemondrop...suppose it's a variation on the closet (He He). Then quickly followed by - Are you serious/Sirius!! Love it ! Love it! I love all of this from the house elf munckins to Harry's checkered lederhosen hotpants...I am trying to think ahead to who would be who. Now that Lucius has snaffled the other wicked witch role...“Emerald City? Ah, crap, I hope they aren’t Slytherins.” I nearly choked on my drink!I once thought od writing a Wizard of Oz cross over fic, but it died a merciful death early. Your writing is as good as it can get in my book...I'mmmm off the read the next chapeter....wee Hee!
The Wizard of Oz is on TV randomly and I'm reading in tandem and it's amusing me to no end. Good job, I especially like the changing of the song bits. I would have said that Neville would have made a more apropos Cowardly Lion and Ron as the Scarecrow but Tin Man Snape is super funny.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! Before I started writing the story, I experimented with different HP characters playing the major WoO characters and Neville as the Lion and Ron as the Scarecrow were some of my top candidates. However, I didn't want to leave out the trio, and there was never any doubt in my mind who I would be cast as the Tin Man. I thought it was rather fitting since in both the musical and the original books, the Scarecrow was actually very intelligent and the Lion was never all that cowardly when it truly counted (of course, the same could be said of both Neville and Ron, but as I said before, I didn't want to leave out the trio). Reading while watching the movie is probably the best way to do it since I read the next scene of the script before I write the next chapter, and I try carefully to match them up. Thanks again! :)
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! Before I started writing the story, I experimented with different HP characters playing the major WoO characters and Neville as the Lion and Ron as the Scarecrow were some of my top candidates. However, I didn't want to leave out the trio, and there was never any doubt in my mind who I would be cast as the Tin Man. I thought it was rather fitting since in both the musical and the original books, the Scarecrow was actually very intelligent and the Lion was never all that cowardly when it truly counted (of course, the same could be said of both Neville and Ron, but as I said before, I didn't want to leave out the trio). Reading while watching the movie is probably the best way to do it since I read the next scene of the script before I write the next chapter, and I try carefully to match them up. Thanks again! :)
OMG OMG OMGI am ROLLING!!!!Is it sad I was singing along?
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Not at all! :D I was hoping people would just because I've had so much fun writing the songs. I think singing along makes the story that much more entertaining to read.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Not at all! :D I was hoping people would just because I've had so much fun writing the songs. I think singing along makes the story that much more entertaining to read.
Wonderfully ridiculous! This is a real treat to read.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! "Wonderfully ridiculous" is exactly what i've been going for. :D
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! "Wonderfully ridiculous" is exactly what i've been going for. :D
Heeee!!! This is just the kind of silly fun that I needed, everybody has been writing so much angst and straight romance lately.
this scares the mess out of me. i look forward to the next chapter
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Lol! I'm glad you're enjoying it, even if you do find it slightly disturbing.
you have hit the nail on the head i believe
omg that was perfect. i love this!
just read the story from chapter 1 - it's great!
you have soooo nailed the characters from both stories... you had me laughing all the way down the yellow brick road.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm definitely having fun writing it. :D
LOl this story is so inventive and funny. I think I'm going to need funny after I get done reading DH. Keep up the good work.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you!
I normally don't read humor, but this was hilarious! Great job, so far!
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
I'm glad my fic tempted you into reading something new. :) Thank you!
“Some peace and quiet once you leave me alone.”“Revenge!”“The nerve!”After finishing his final line, Cowardly Lion Ron turned to Harry. “Revenge?”“There is a certain pair of twins that I believe I need to take care of...” I cracked up when I read that, even my husband came in the room and had to read it, he started cracking up. I can't wait till they get to Oz.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! I'm glad you found it funny. :)
Lol Hermione as a scaregnome. I just watched the Wizard of Oz and couldn't stop laughing, because I kept picturing the characters of Harry Potter in the roles. I can't for more.
Response from lilbitbord (Reviewer)
Ok I have no idea why this review showed up twice, but since it did I would like to add that your versions of the songs are really funny and creative.
Response from SlashisSilly (Author of The Weasleys of Oz)
Thank you! There will be lots more coming soon. :)Some of the songs were really hard to re-write, so it's good to know that readers are enjoying them. Thank you, again.
Lol Hermione as a scaregnome. I just watched the Wizard of Oz and couldn't stop laughing, because I kept picturing the characters of Harry Potter in the roles. I can't for more.
this is just hillarious
oh god this is madness