Letter 26: Severus Snape to J. Alfred Prufrock, 5th May 1998

A/N: For simplicity's sake, titles of books, journals etc are underlined and emphases are italicised. In reviving the old tradition of epistolary novels, I understand the plot may be a little slow, laborious and difficult to follow. Some might consider it AU and a little OOC.

In order not to weary the reader's patience, a number of letters from the series of correspondences have been suppressed; those only have been given which appeared necessary to a complete understanding of the events in this group. For the same reason, some letters from the actors in the events of this drama have also been suppressed.

Proestigium or What the Seasons may Bring

Letter 26: Severus Snape to J. Alfred Prufrock, 5th May 1998

Severus X. A. Snape

Potions' Office,

The Dungeons,

Hogwarts,

Scotland,

UK.

5th May 1997

I hope you are better, Prufrock. Your injuries were not too severe; I do not see why you have to paint yourself as such an invalid. It is very unjust. Whatever happened to the Platonic principle of justice being best served by one man having only one job? Albus and Minerva are in health and send their regards.

I received your letter dated 28th April but have not ventured to reply as I have been busy. You will learn that Lupin is not dead from the trials! That fool actually volunteered to try the wolfsbane-mallowsweet potion. I do not whether the effects are permanent, but he has not transformed this time, it may be safe to assume that he is fine. Still, I advise caution. At the next full moon, get him to have some wolfsbane on standby in case he does transform. Send me a some sample of his blood and I will see whether the cure is truly effected.

Examinations are almost upon the students and I thank Merlin that I will soon get rid of them. Bah! Do not speak to me of Harry Potter and that idiot, Weasley. They are alive, if you must know. Weasley can now walk about and harass one of the particularly vacuous specimens from his house. His survival from that bloody snake bite has turned him into some sort of idol to most of the impressionable young girls. Potter, on the other hand, disappointed me by not dying. I sometimes think that he would have been better off if I had left him where he was. The Daily Prophet had no business buttering up my hopes with reports that the-dolt-who-lived-again was tittering on the brink of death every other night. Against all my prayers, he has recovered just in time to sit for the NEWTS. Entré nous, I hope he fails. If he becomes an auror, he will be a menace to our society. It may be too early to beat myself over that point. He may be expelled from auror training and he may be permanently incapacitated during one of the auror raids.

Since that dunderhead bears the Potter name, it seems that all my dreams of his demise will be dashed. I must resign myself to it. I am not Sybil Trelawney, but I can accurately predict that despite Potter's late recovery from his injuries, infrequent revision, less than perfect academic track record and his penchant for Quidditch and heroics over books, he will miraculously pass all his NEWT subjects. Curses! I know his NEWTS results will be deliberately tampered so as to accommodate and reward the boy-who-lived-to-vanquish-the-Dark-Lord-again. By this same yardstick, Potter will get through all his auror tests from the force of his reputation alone. Bah! The injustice of the world!

Why – Prufrock, why did you send me Miss Granger's letter all those months ago? You are my soul's consistory; it is only to you that I say these things, as I know you will keep them to yourself. Do you know how it haunts me to see my best pupil unaware of my contribution to her mind's improvement? She has exceeded my expectations. She haunts my dreams with her work. She torments my waking hours with her intelligent discussions! What have you done to me, Prufrock? Why did you send her letter to me? Why? Why? I blame you, you accursed damnable creature! I would that she had never written to Jigger! What was Penelope doing that she missed the inconsistency in Magical Drafts and Potions? I blame Penelope for this confounded cock-up! Damn you, Prufrock! Curse Penelope! Why? Why must the world and the Fates mock me?

Yes, yes, I know Nimue will graduate and that's the last I will see of her. She looks up to me; NO – not to me, but Arsenius Jigger. Jigger! I could laugh – I am jealous of my other self! I even think she has some inkling of unrequited love for Arsenius Jigger, that festering figment of my imagination who is supposed to be everything that I want to be but am not! She has not propositioned Jigger; she is too decent to do something so unethical. She let fly at him, or at me rather, for I wrote as I normally would. You could feel the passion for her subject in that letter where she lectured me on not underestimating her love for learning. You should read her replies to my journal articles. She has not only replied to my articles in Ars Chemica, but to the articles in Nomos and Recherches Alchemique as well. And I HELPED her; I helped shaped her thoughts. Why did I do so? So that I will know that at least one of my students turned out well. Merlin knows the sort of discrimination she will face when she enters our society to work; you know that her lineage would work against her. I sought to help her and ease that unwarranted bigotry so that she would not face what I did when I tried to do everything under my own name. I have a D.Mag.A from Cambridge and what good is it? I cannot get a decent position in Britain because I am perceived as a dangerous wizard. If it were not for Albus Dumbledore's recommendation, York would not have accepted Jigger as a shadow associate professor. I know that York, Cambridge, Oxford and a few other schools see me as 'rehabilitated' (what a vulgar phrase), but do they know that I am still a little disreputable?

Try telling that to Miss Granger? She wants to be Jigger's student at York. She wants to be MY student! Will I never escape her? She even wants me to be her academic supervisor at York. I cannot go on with the charade. I have too much at stake. Should I feign Jigger's death and leave her to forget him? But a woman like this, who plans for her education, is delicious. Vanity tells me to keep her by my side as my star pupil. Logic tells me to let go when she leaves Hogwarts. She is an insufferable know-it-all who dared to tell me that I was illogical and irrational! A woman such as this – and my head is turned. Laugh at me, Prufrock! Hex me! Crucio me! My head is turned by this chit and I damn my mind and these eyes that see her worth!

I know what I must do. I must tell her to go away. Or Jigger must go away, or Severus Snape can die and so end this agony. Gods! She is Nimue incarnate. She will take all my knowledge and leave me! Damn her! Curse the Fates! Damn you for forwarding that letter! Damn Penelope for missing that mistake in Magical DraftsDamn me!

Enough, Nimue has entered the classroom to submit her paper for the wolfsbane project.

S. Snape

Footnotes

Proestigium is Latin for illusion. Ironically, the English word Prestige derives from it.

For the confused, Severus refers to Hermione as Nimue in the context of this letter. Those familiar with the Merlin-Nimue story (not the one propounded in the film version starring Sam Neill and Isabelle Rossellini) will see why. In Sir Thomas Malory's Le morte d'Arthur, Merlin becomes infatuated with the enchantress Nimuë. She is young and he is considerably older. She wants him to teach her all that he knows of the magical arts. He promises to do so in return for a lover's fee (as to what that is – use your imagination). She agrees to the terms. He teaches her, but instead of the 'lover's fee', she buries him under a great rock, sealing it with a form of magic that she had learnt and adapted from him. And poor Merlin remains under the rock from which he could not escape.

Now apply this to the context that Severus presently sees her, what do you see? Think about it.