Chapter Six

Disclaimer: They belong to JKR, but she might just disown them with the disgraceful way they have been behaving lately!

Chapter 6

Hermione allowed a nervous giggle to escape after Snape had left her room. While she genuinely wanted to help track down the spy amongst their midst, the opportunity to not only see Severus naked again but to watch him perform was shamefully exciting.

Bloody hell, what must he think of me now? I must stop spending time with Ron and Harry. My vocabulary is no better than theirs. "Your cock seemed to be appreciative enough last night." "Get a grip, Snape, it's only a quick wank." I'm supposed to be a respectable professor, not a teenage boy!

I hope he doesn't find out I'm better at talking to men about sex than talking them into active participation. He doesn't strike me as the type who'd respond to, "Hey, Snape, how about a quick shag before dinner?"

At twenty to nine, Hermione slipped off her shoes in favour of soft slippers and changed into a jumper and jeans for ease of movement. Tapping her head with her wand, she felt the slow trickle pass down her body and checked the mirror to confirm her Disillusionment Charm had worked.

When she reached the Prefects' bathroom, Severus was already leaning on the wall outside of the room, waiting for her. Creeping up beside him, she blew into his left ear, then gave herself away with a giggle as he leapt up, brandishing his wand.

"Not amusing, Granger."

"Yes it was. You jumped like a schoolgirl finding a spider on her sandwich."

His scowl brought forth a further giggle as she followed him into the bathroom.

"Just stay in that corner so I know where you are," he hissed, pointing at the furthest corner of the room.

Not bloody likely. I need a better view of the bath and the door and his... Must stop thinking about it. It's not like I haven't seen one before. It's just... Severus's.

She settled on a much closer ledge with a good view of the entire bath area. Severus had retrieved a towel from the stack and placed it on the edge of the bath and was laboriously untying his bootlaces. One boot, then the other struck the floor as they were discarded. Next, he peeled off his socks, revealing narrow but nicely shaped feet.

Hermione could have sworn she saw Severus smirk as he slowly unbuttoned his robes and hung them precisely on the hook provided. His frock coat was next, button by button by teasing button. Turning the taps to full, Severus ignored the fragrant oils and pulled a bar of plain yellow soap from his pocket.

Once he had opened his shirt, Severus trailed his hands down his chest for a few seconds, eyes flicking to the corner where he thought Hermione lurked.

Bloody bastard thinks he's putting on a show for me, does he? Wonder what he'll say when he finds out I'm over here, right in front of him, instead of back there.

Severus shrugged the shirt off and tossed it to one side. Fingers deftly working the buttons from their holes, he opened the fly of his trousers and slid them down his hips, glancing back over his shoulder once more. Trousers discarded, he tested the water before dropping his final garment. He took a moment to stretch with his back to the corner. Hermione grinned as she enjoyed an uninterrupted view of his already erect penis, bobbing in front of him like an eager puppy.

He's damn well enjoying this, the old pervert. I'll bet he gets turned on by the thought of someone watching him. Not that he'd ever admit it.

After lowering himself into the water, Severus took several minutes to relax in the soothing heat. Hermione, having lost the distraction of his nudity, scanned the room for anything untoward and found nothing.

Reaching for the bar of soap, Severus managed a cursory scrub under his arms and beneath the water, although whether he was washing or getting in some practice, Hermione couldn't tell. All too soon, he moved as if to leave the bath.

Oh, no you don't, mister. One flick of her wand later, a bottle of shampoo flew from the supply shelf to the bath, clipping Severus on the back of the head as it passed. Yes, that's right. Shampoo. Give it a try, just this once.

With a put upon sigh, Severus poured a tiny amount of shampoo into his hand and massaged it into his scalp. When the shampoo bottle upended and tipped another generous dollop onto his head, he scowled in the direction of the far corner and lathered up.

Ten points to Slytherin for taking a hint. Now, where's the conditioner?

Washed, conditioned, and rinsed, Severus finally stood and allowed the water to run off his body. With no sign of any illicit activity other than what he had been doing underwater, he reached for his towel and began drying himself.

Hermione moved a little closer as Severus glanced around, ensuring he still had his back to her supposed corner. Holding the towel in one hand, he wrapped the other around his now straining cock and began to stroke slowly as she watched every enticing movement.

Gods, that's beautiful. He's so absorbed in the sensation I doubt he remembers why he's here.

Seeing Severus's cock glistening with moisture as his hand movements increased in pace and his eyes closed in pleasure almost distracted Hermione from her mission as her own hands strayed closer to her dampening knickers. She nearly missed Moaning Myrtle's appearance from the tap behind Severus as he began to utter soft groans in time with his stroking.

What's Myrtle doing here ogling Severus like that? Oh, shite, she has a bloody camera! She's the spy! Well, I'm not stopping him now.

Luckily, Hermione's extensive reading had taught her a handy spell just right for the occasion. "Immobiles Spiritum!" Her whispered incantation froze Myrtle in place, allowing Hermione to return her attention to the man who was rapidly approaching his climax before her eyes.

Moaning loudly, Severus cupped his balls in one hand as his pace quickened yet again. Suddenly, his face screwed up in a grimace, and he cried out, spurts of semen coating his hand and the towel as Hermione stood transfixed.

Oh, fuck! That was the most unattractive yet erotic thing I've ever seen. I really need a minute or two and some privacy.

Gathering her wits, Hermione did the first thing she thought of.

She clapped.

Looking up in the direction of the sound, Severus blushed and wiped the evidence of his activities from his hands. As he turned to throw the towel in the hamper, he noticed Myrtle, still frozen in place.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was far too busy enjoying the performance." Cancelling her Disillusionment Charm, Hermione stood, flushed and a little dishevelled before him.

Severus was too busy feeling embarrassed to notice just how flustered his companion had become. "I thought you promised not to watch."

"I don't believe there were any promises involved." Hermione took one last lingering look at Severus's groin, where his penis had all but disappeared. Oh, well, I suppose more than a handful's a waste.

"Damned women, can't be trusted," Severus muttered as he quickly dressed. Jerking his head towards the wide-eyed ghost, he asked, "What shall we do with her?"

Hermione pondered a moment, then an evil smile crept over her face. "I think it's time we called in the Bloody Baron."

If ghosts could faint, Myrtle would have been out cold.

"Well, what happened?" Hermione had been dismissed by the Bloody Baron as irrelevant, much to her dismay. "What did the Baron do with Myrtle?"

Severus's smile was a shade short of smug. "He barely needed to speak. The wretched ghost was a wreck, sobbing and wailing as if she'd been the victim. Between the Baron and myself we managed to determine Skeeter had offered Myrtle her own custom-made bathroom at some undisclosed location if she provided enough incriminating photographs of staff here. You were next on her list, by the way."

"Me? I don't do anything exciting enough to photograph." Except sunbathing topless. I suppose I'm lucky there's no plumbing up on the Astronomy Tower.

"I suppose they don't know how boring you are, Granger." Severus moved quickly enough to escape a swift kick on the shins.

"Still a wanker, I see. How did Rita plan to move Myrtle away from Hogwarts?"

"She didn't. Everyone knows ghosts can't leave the building in which they've become established. The Baron reminded Myrtle of that fact quite emphatically. She's damned lucky she's haunting Hogwarts. She could have been stuck in a poky tenement with only one toilet."

Hermione shuddered. "Even I wouldn't wish that upon her. Is he going to punish her?"

"She's banned from the Prefects' bathroom for ten years."

"So you can wank in peace now." Oops. I didn't mean to say that out loud. "Wait! Don't go off in a huff!" Oh, fuck, I've done it again. And he never told me how on earth a ghost could operate a camera. Dammit!

A/N: This was written for the 2012 SSHG Exchange on Livejournal. Karelia is my beta- extraordinaire!