Back to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: It's not my creation, but I do enjoy manipulating things. No money for me though. Enjoy.

A big thanks goes to my beta, Charmed_Nay, and to my friends over at Potter_Place.

I am sorry that I'm a little late, but my lovely beta was out of town. I am happy that she took the time to do it for me this evening. Thanks, all! I am aiming for my next update to be on Tuesday.

It was sometime during the night when Hermione felt the bed sag, signaling that her lover had finally come to bed. She tried to pretend to be asleep, but she stiffened when she realized that he reeked of liquor. Almost immediately, his lips were upon her, nuzzling her shoulder.

"Hermione," he whispered.

She debated on what to do. She could either continue to feign sleep, or she could face him. One of his hands slid around to cup and knead her uncovered breast through her nightgown, causing her to gasp and making her decision for her. Shrugging away from his hand and pulling the duvet about her more tightly, she groggily asked, "What is it?"

"I want to make love with you," he said lightly, trying to pull her on her back.

"No," she said firmly. "You're drunk." She shrugged away and remained lying on her side. In truth, she was quite shaken, though she tried not to show it. He'd been in his secret room for hours, and she'd been thinking about his words, his actions, his secrets, and his loyalties. She'd also been thinking about hers.

"I've only had a couple of drinks," he slurred. "We have to go back to the castle tomorrow, and I wanted to love you now whilst I still have the chance." He began mumbling to himself. "...Potter... damn wards..."

"Severus, go to sleep. We can talk about it in the morning," she said softly. She could understand his reasoning, but she couldn't shake the feeling that to give in would be dangerous for all involved. Harry's lopsided grin came to mind. He'd always held her loyalties, and unfortunately for her lover, in case he'd follow through with his threats, that was still her decision.

"Want you," he murmured, tugging at her once again.

She relented and turned towards him. "We can't," she whispered. "We've decided on this already. You can't let this change things."

He lunged for her, pulling her flush against his body. Hermione gasped when she realized that he was naked. He'd been sleeping partially dressed so as to keep things safe between them. "Severus, no," she said, pushing against his chest. She could feel his hard length pressing against her stomach.

His lips found her face and began delivering kisses to her cheeks and lips. "I need you," he said, pushing against her, wanting her to feel how aroused he was.

"N-no," she said, nearing panic. "I don't want our first time to be like this. You've been drinking. It's..." She swallowed thickly, as he moved her onto her back to pin her to the bed with his body, one hand lifting up her nightgown. "Please stop."

Severus sighed and rested his head against her shoulder. "I would not force you," he whispered after a minute. "I shall miss you in my bed."

"As will I," she agreed, trembling subsiding as she thanked God. "We'll still find ways to be together. Tonight...we just can't. We've decided already." She kissed the top of his head and moved her arms around his back to hold him. "I'm not ready for this. You were right."

She felt him nod against her skin and mumble something, but she was uncertain what his reply was. Moments later, light snores signaled that he'd fallen asleep. She held him for as long as her body would allow. The pressure of his weight seemed to be taking her breath away. Once she slid to the side, his body instinctively curled around her, but to her relief, he never woke. She could still feel his hardness pressed against her and fought the urge to reach around to touch it. It would be too much of a risk.

It was the first time that she'd been afraid to lie with him. The episode was obviously caused by the liquor, but all the same, she was glad that he'd finally seen reason and stopped his demands. What if he'd not wanted to stop? Would she have allowed him to have his way? Would she have fought him? It wasn't that she didn't want to love him in that way. She did, but for some reason, things had changed. She actually wanted to wait. If making love to her would make it too hard to deny his feelings for her, he'd be put in jeopardy.

Hermione never asked much about his relationship with Voldemort, but she had a feeling that she would become a pawn of sorts. Hell, she figured that she already was. The first time the man was disappointed in something that her wizard did, he'd likely threaten to harm her. She reached behind her and pulled his arm around her for extra comfort. What had she agreed to by going along with his game? She'd thought that she was helping to do what Voldemort wanted, but now, she honestly wondered.

Was this all Severus' doing? Had he sought her out purposely and pretended that the Dark Lord wanted him to? She hated doubting him, but her senses told her there was so much more to this. Yes, she could understand that by having her on Snape's side would benefit Voldemort, as she could lead them to Harry, give away plans, or cause him distress by finding out she was in love with a man he hated. Hermione knew that she had much to think about and that much would change for them.

One thing was for certain. She didn't doubt that he had deep feelings for her. She'd only thought that she loved him, and even after all her soul searching, she felt that she was falling in love with him. It was more than curiosity, lust, the need for possession, or the hope to be desired by such a man. She wanted to spend her life with him, share his home, and maybe have a child with him eventually. In her mind, she'd already planned their future. After school finished, they would live together, no pressure for marriage. She would find a job, and they would just live happily ever after. She snorted. Real life was no fairytale, was it? There would definitely be obstacles, and if his threat to go against Dumbledore would be followed through, her dreams would be shattered. She couldn't betray Harry or all she believed in. She wondered how she could safely project this to him. Surely he knew. Surely he didn't expect anything less.

Shrugging away the thoughts, she willed herself to go to sleep. She didn't want to show up at the castle with dark circles under her eyes. Part of her wished that she had allowed Severus to have his way with her, but she knew that would have been the wrong decision. Had he been thinking clearly, he'd not have tried to seduce her. She pulled on the arm about her waist and brought the hand up to her lips to kiss its palm. Placing it under her breast and over her heart, she finally dozed off.

When Hermione awoke, she was alone. A quick perusal of her room told her that her things were already packed. Severus must have done it for her. Slightly annoyed, she got up to rummage through her chest to find clothes for the day. She went to the bathroom and opened the door. The door was closed and locked before she realized that she was not alone.

"Severus," she exclaimed in surprise. "I am sorry. I didn't know." He was completely naked and about to step into the tub. The room was a bit steamy, as it appeared he'd been running the shower's hot water for awhile. She diverted her gaze, but not before she noticed his body. It was odd to see him so utterly exposed. She turned away and placed her hand on the doorknob. "I'll come back later."

"Hermione, stay," he said. "I'll be in here. You can comfortably go about your business."

She heard the rattling of the shower curtain behind her and peeked around. He'd disappeared from sight. Quickly moving to the sink, she brushed her teeth and splashed water over her face. In truth, she'd come in to have a bath, but she supposed she could wash off at the sink. She glanced back at the shower to be certain he was still within before pulling her nightgown over her head. She wet a cloth and lathered it with soap. Tears sprang to her eyes as she realized that this would be the last time she'd be here for a long while. Severus being in the shower while she began getting ready for her day seemed so right. She would miss the comfort of being near him. Hermione set the cloth on the sink and lowered her knickers.

Before she could lose her nerve, she moved to the tub, parted the shower curtain, and looked at her lover. He was standing with both arms against the wall, head hung low, water from the spray pouring down on his neck and shoulders. She stepped in behind him and quickly placed her arms around his waist and cheek against his back. He shifted and turned around so that he was facing her and the spray was hitting him upon his back. After smoothing back his wet locks, he peered down at her.

"What are you in here for?"

She put her hands on his waist. "I'm going to miss you," she said, voice choked. "I just... I don't know." Although she tried not to look at him, she didn't care that his eyes were raking over her body or that she'd just made things harder for the both of them.

"I know," he said quietly, pulling her to him. "Last night..."

"No," she said. "It's all right. Just hold me."

Severus placed his hands on her face and lowered his lips to hers for a small kiss. He pulled back to look into her eyes questioningly. Finding his answer, he kissed her again, this time parting her lips with his tongue and kissing her with intensity. Once ended, the kiss left them both breathing heavily. "Can I touch you?" he questioned, gazing at her oddly.

"Yes," she said immediately, wanting his touch.

He maneuvered them to where the spray could wet her body while he used a bar of soap to lather his hands, opting to use his bare hands instead of a cloth. Quick, gentle strokes saw her upper body and both legs cleaned. Never taking his eyes from hers, he soaped his hand one last time and lowered it to her waiting, heated center. His hand simply cupped her and rubbed for a moment. Then, he closed his eyes and slid one soapy finger inside of her and flicked his thumb over her clitoris, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from her.

Deciding instantly to return the favor, she reached down to grope his erection, causing his eyes to open. "There is no need," he said.

"Let me," she said calmly. In actuality, her pulse had quickened, and she was nervous. As his fingers moved to please her, she mimicked his pace with the strokes of her hand. At some point, he added another finger, increasing the feeling of fullness and pressure. She purposely clenched her inner muscles against his fingers and found that she enjoyed the odd feeling. The hint of a smile upon his lips showed that he was pleased. The pumping of his fingers increased, as did her strokes. He applied more pressure with his thumb and moved it in quick circles. Suddenly, she cried out as an orgasm hit her. She'd felt it building but had been unprepared. As her whimpers of satisfaction subsided, she realized that she was squeezing his penis tightly.

Although he didn't say a word, only kissed her brow, she could imagine that it was uncomfortable for him. She released the hold she had on him and lowered to her knees. "Hermione?" he asked questioningly. "What are you...?" His voice was lost as her lips closed over the head, tongue moving, sucking slightly. She widened her mouth and tried to take as much of him as she could, but she nearly choked. Instead, she simply licked, stroked, and suckled, keeping her eyes closed so as not to see him. She knew that was silly and that she should take her fill of looking at him. He'd likely not minded looking at her when she was exposed. There would be time later for explorations. She finally found a comfortable rhythm and soon felt his fingers weaving through her wet hair in an attempt to guide her.

"Enough," he whispered sharply, moving her away right before he reached climax. His hand replaced her mouth, stroking throughout his release. "Yesss," he hissed. She stood and opened her arms to him as he slumped against her, sated.

They stood in each other's arms, kissing languidly, until the water became too cool. Hermione got out first and found two towels. She handed him one, and each went about drying and dressing themselves. He finished before she did, and he simply stood and watched her comb through her wet, tangled hair. When she turned to face him, he held out his hand and led her to the kitchen where they ate in silence. All too soon, he said, "It's time to return to Hogwarts."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hermione!" Harry said excitedly. "I am glad you're here! Dumbledore told me yesterday that I had to move into a new set of rooms because he'd decided to allow you to stay with me." Harry looked at Snape and the headmaster to be certain they weren't listening. "He's been treating you all right? Is he being an arse? That's not why you're coming here, is it?"

"No, Harry," she said, hugging him. "Actually, he's quite nice away from school. Different."

Harry made a face. "Come on. I'll show you to your room." He pulled her forward and led her to a door on the right. He nodded to the door opposite them. "My room is just there. We each have our own loo." He opened her door and tried to walk in but was flung backwards. "What the hell?"

Hermione giggled and stepped past him. "I suppose it works the same as our regular dormitories."

"That's not fair," Harry said, rubbing the elbow that had hit the wall. "You can come into my room I'll bet." He shook his head. "I don't see why he put that there. It's not like he can't trust us."

"I put that there," Dumbledore said from behind them, "to make certain that our Miss Granger doesn't entertain too many suitors. I would like for you both to get some sleep."

Though he was joking, Hermione felt his penetrating gaze sweep over her. She tried to smile, and her eyes moved past him to where Severus stood with his arms crossed over his chest. He had a sour expression upon his face.

"Excuse me, Headmaster," he said in a quiet voice. "I've things to do. I am certain you don't need me to remain here."

"Yes, yes, of course, Severus. I'll see you after the noon meal."

"Very well." Severus nodded to them and quickly departed.

Hermione could tell that he wasn't happy, and she didn't blame him. If he felt anything like she did, it was as if they'd never see each other again. He'd told her that he would find a way to have private time with her and that he didn't want her leaving their rooms. While he assured her that Dumbledore was simply being cautious and there was no real cause to worry, not from the Dark Lord anyway, he'd feel better knowing that she was out of sight. She wondered how it would be possible for them to ever see each other. He didn't want to be around Harry for any reason, and Harry wouldn't understand why he was visiting. She'd have to think of something.

Dumbledore began explaining about their studies, meals, and things they were allowed to do, such as exchanging letters with Ron and their other friends. Harry asked if any visitors would be allowed, but Dumbledore was undecided. When he finally left them alone, Hermione sat before the fire to read a book. She did more staring into the fire than reading. She couldn't stop thinking of Severus and what he was doing. Was he thinking of her? Did he miss her as badly as she missed him? Did he realize that she was having doubts about his loyalties? Would Dumbledore try to find out more about what had happened while she'd been gone?

Harry eyed Hermione oddly. Something was wrong with her. She seemed sad. He held back a snort. She was probably upset because she couldn't go to regular classes and frequent the library. Well, no, we'll still have our work while here. It has to be something else. He began wondering if Snape had been cruel to her...calling her names, locking her in a room, or treating her roughly. Thinking about them when they entered, they both seemed in a daze. He'd bide his time and ask her if something had truly gone on. It was apparent that she didn't want to talk about it. She'd said that he'd been nice, but nice and Snape didn't seem to go well together in the same sentence.

Something disturbing passed through Harry's mind. What if Snape had made a sexual advance against her? What if they'd had a row over it? Or worse... what if he'd succeeded? No. Harry shook his head. Hermione would tell someone if that greasy git touched her or said anything like that. Harry vowed to keep his map at the ready to watch all of Snape's comings and goings while he was here. He had his Invisibility Cloak at the ready, should he need it. Hell, he was just glad that Hermione was with him. Now, he'd have something to do, aside from reading, schoolwork, and worrying about his friends.

Snape had nearly found Draco twice, but the arse always disappeared right before Snape could get to him. Harry wished that Ginny wouldn't have gone with him. Of course, he was still uncertain that she went along of her own accord. There were just so many unanswered questions. "Want to try a game? I've got loads of stuff here, but I've not had much company, aside from the headmaster." Hermione didn't even look at him. "Hermione? Did you hear me?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucius walked out into the clearing a few moments after Snape Apparated in. "Severus, so glad you could join me, old friend," he drawled, nodding at the man.

"I don't have much time," Snape bit out, looking around. "What is it you needed to see me about? Have you news on your son?"

Eyes narrowed, Lucius said, "I do not. I wondered if you had."

"No." The reply was clipped. "Are you alone?"

"Yes," Lucius assured him. "I'll be quick about this, Severus. Bane has been burning his mixture each night, and with each burning, he has accumulated more information. It's not like anything I have seen before." There was a long pause. "So far it does not bode well for our Lord... or us."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked impatiently. "What have you seen?"

"He cannot burn again until the next increase of the moon." At Severus' impatient look, he continued, "We were able to see it, too. There is murky smoke from the fire, but if you watch closely, you can see flashes of scenes from a particular happening in the future. Some business about knowing the amount of sticks and rocks to place within the circle." Lucius shook his head. "On the first night, we saw the Dark Lord and his followers. I nearly missed it until he pointed it out to us. It was but a flash."

"And?"

"The next night we saw Potter, Dumbledore, and Order members. They were casting hexes."

"You only see one scene per night?" Snape asked incredulously.

"It depends. That same night we saw some Death Eaters falling." Lucius began pacing. "Those that fell could have been any of us. Fucking Potter and his bratty little friends..."

"His friends? I thought you said Dumbledore and Order members?"

"Well, his little friends might as well be Order members if you ask me," Lucius spat angrily. "They don't all survive. We saw some of them fall."

Severus moved forward, grabbed his friend by the shoulders, and looked into Lucius' eyes, silently uttering a spell. He witnessed the scenes in quick succession. In the last one, he saw his young witch trying to help Potter up after having been hit with a curse. In the next instant, there is an array of lights, signaling the onslaught of hexes projected at them. Someone pushed Potter and his witch away only to be struck down in return. He pulled away, eyes wide. It wasn't likely that person would rise again.

"What is she doing there?" Severus growled, releasing the robes from his grasp. "I wouldn't allow her out to take part in it. I have plans to keep her away."

"I wondered that myself," Lucius drawled. "Perhaps she goes of her own volition? Can't stay away from Potter?"

"What else is there?"

"Fear not, Severus, she lives, although that wizard fell to protect her and Potter. I saw a glimpse of her crying over the body. We never could see exactly who it was. I certainly hope that it isn't you, old friend. Wouldn't our Lord be interested to know that you would die to protect her and Potter?" Lucius smirked at Severus' outraged expression. "Yes, Potter, Severus. He sees the dead person and the girl's tears, enabling him to make a triumphant comeback. The boy begins ushering a wide array of curses towards our ranks."

"Impossible," Severus said, shaking his head. Would he die for her? For Potter? Not for Potter, never for Potter. For Hermione? Yes. He shuddered slightly at the realization. "Can we change this?"

"I am certain," Lucius said. "There is more, Severus. Dumbledore falls."

Severus' mouth gaped open. "Does he?" he asked after he recovered from his shock. "Potter hasn't a chance."

Lucius looked at him. "The last vision that I witnessed was of Potter doing a victory dance." Lucius looked down guiltily. "My son and Ginevra Weasley were at his side."

Severus sat down on a nearby log. "The Dark Lord?"

"I will not know until we can look again. These all came in different orders. I've not seen our Lord fall, only some of us." Lucius shook his head. "I don't know what to think, Severus." He sat next to his friend. "The centaurs believe that the seventh child, a female, of an old line will be upon the victorious side and help things begin anew." Lucius kicked at a nearby twig. "She was cheering with Potter, with my son. Draco has betrayed me."

"Betrayed you or simply did what you are doing now? Making his own path, I'd say." Severus shrugged.

"He should have consulted with me first." A twig breaking in the distance caused them both to stand and look around.

"Who is with you?" Severus asked.

"Who is with you?" Lucius countered.

They pulled their wands and pointed them at each other. "No one," they answered in unison. Another breaking twig sounded in the silence. Both men looked over and saw a large, male, red deer, proudly displaying its branched antlers and thick mane. It noticed them suddenly and made to sprint away, but Severus hit it with a quick spell to be certain it truly was a creature. Nothing happened, and the animal hurried off.

"Not that I doubted you," Lucius said, smirking as he put his wand away.

"Same here," Snape replied. "Keep in touch with me." He walked a few feet away before turning around. "I nearly found Draco in Hogsmeade. Twice. He's still nearby, I would say. He took some items from Honeydukes and the Three Broomsticks. There is still time to find them."

"Is the Dark Lord planning to kill him, Severus? Me?"

"He is not happy with you, but if you would bring him news of what you've been about, perhaps he would be forgiving." Severus shrugged. "As far as Draco, he's not happy with him either, but then, we don't know what Draco has planned. I suppose he'd have to hear his story."

Lucius nodded. "Will you be telling the Dark Lord of this visit?"

"I feel that I must, Lucius. You understand?"

"I do. Would you leave out the part about me wondering which side wins so that I may choose that side?"

Severus looked into Lucius' eyes. He felt that the man was sincere and nodded. "You are only doing what any of the others would do, given the chance. I believe the Dark Lord will not be forgiving if he finds out that you withheld information purposely. I shall not make him aware of it, but I will let him know that you have others working with you. Will you not give me names?"

"I have taken an oath to not reveal them. You know that Goyle is dead, and he was with me. I can speak freely of him. You've also previously surmised that Crabbe is in on it, so I can speak of him. I cannot name the other, but I can say that you should be wary of Rabastan Lestrange. He has confided in my associate that vengeance would be his."

Severus nodded. "I anxiously await the increase of the moon."

"As do I," Lucius said. In the next instant, Snape was gone. It had been a long time since he could breathe freely. Severus wouldn't tell the Dark Lord of his true deception, for now anyway. He had honestly worried when he'd seen the dark robed person take a hex meant for Potter or Granger. He'd feared that his friend would meet his death in the near future. Surely Severus wouldn't end up caring that much for the girl? I know he truly loathes Potter. Perhaps it isn't Severus that falls. It could be one of the Order members.

Whatever the case, he'd be certain to pay close attention to whatever visions Bane would procure for them next. If he could give Severus vital information, then he would have him on his side. Severus would be able to talk to the Dark Lord, perhaps put in a word for him and smooth things over. That was, if they decided to remain loyal to him. If Potter could still defeat the Dark Lord without old Dumbledore's assistance, why should they continue to rally around him? If some child would be more powerful, why should he risk death, Azkaban, and the destruction of his family for a weak wizard? It was certainly something to think about. Things looked better all the while. Draco was still protected for the time being. Narcissa was well.

A small smile played upon Lucius' lips. His son would not die in the fight. If Potter were indeed victorious as it so appeared, his son would be there with him. Perhaps there was hope for the Malfoy name after all. He scoffed lightly. "It's most unfortunate that he seems to have taken up with a Weasley." He raised an eyebrow. "At least she's a pureblood." I believe he's more clever than I ever imagined or gave him credit for. I only hope I shall have the chance to tell him. He chuckled lightly and Disapparated.

Southern's Notes: I apologize for the short chapter. I felt I hadn't anything else that could go here that wouldn't take away from my plans with the next one. Hermione and Severus will try to find ways to see each other. That's a little hard to do with Harry and the headmaster always watching. I wonder if Harry will be suspicious. Draco, Ginny, and Lupin will make appearances in the next chapter. I'm debating on checking on Ron and Pansy, but he may not be written in just yet.