Living With Decisions

Disclaimer: All characters have been created by J.K. Rowling. I'm just mucking around with them and not making any money for it. Bummer.

I'd like to say thanks to Charmed_Nay for finding time to look over my chapters for me.

Severus entered headquarters with Dobby following behind him. "This way," he said quietly, motioning for Dobby to follow him. The house was eerily silent. He supposed it was due to recent events. Upon entering the kitchen, however, he met a grim sight. Nearly the entire Weasley family, Draco, and Pansy were sitting at the table and in conjured chairs, not talking.

It took a moment for anyone to notice that he'd come into the room. Everyone had different reactions. Draco rose and simply gazed at him warily while Parkinson flashed a hopeful smile. Ginevra burst into tears and put her head on Charlie Weasley's shoulder. He nodded slightly to acknowledge Severus. Fleur Weasley never looked up, but Bill also nodded in his direction.

"Snape!" one of the twins shouted, pulling his wand. "Ruddy git!"

"What are you doing here?" the other questioned, also pulling his wand.

"Put those away, boys," he said smoothly, striding further into the room, looking to Molly and Arthur. "A private word if you don't mind."

One twin flicked his wand as if he intended to hex him, but Severus was a step ahead, as he flicked his own wand and disarmed both of the twins. "There will be no foolish wand waving here," he said, glaring at them menacingly. "Unless, of course, you are truly prepared to lose."

"Oi! Who said we..."

Arthur Weasley stood. "Boys, enough. You heard what the others said. He had nothing to do with... with what happened to Ronald."

Bill stood and ushered Fleur to the doorway. "Come on, you lot. Let's give them a moment." Bill's solemn expression never left his face as he exited the room.

The twins glowered at Severus and moved forward to pick up their wands from the floor near his feet. They reluctantly put their wands away and followed Bill out of the room. Charlie Weasley helped a teary-eyed Ginevra up. Draco and Pansy simply followed them, both looking stricken and anxious.

"Severus," came Molly Weasley's broken voice, "did you truly not know what she would do?" Her husband moved to steady her.

"I did not, Molly. No one thought he would be at Hogwarts. I wouldn't have allowed it to happen if I'd been able to stop it, and you know that I sent word the moment I found out we were even going to Hogwarts. Had I known sooner, I would have warned Dumbledore sooner."

The woman nodded. "I shouldn't have allowed him to go, but he was so bent on helping Harry and Hermione."

"He did help Hermione, Molly. I saw what happened from afar," he said grimly. "Bellatrix took Hermione's wand, and your son valiantly took her on, seemingly winning for a moment, but then..." He didn't want to get into this, but he knew the questions would always be there. He might as well put her at ease. "Neither of them were paying attention when Bella struck again, and after that, it was Bella that wasn't vigilant, as Longbottom came along and struck her down."

"I'd heard..." She choked back a sob. "I'd heard that he died while Hermione was holding him. I wonder if he... said anything, what he was thinking, or if he was in pain."

Severus didn't know what to say to that. He had never asked Hermione. He supposed that he could, but he'd felt that moment she'd shared with Weasley might have been private. It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he would try to find out for her, but he realized exactly what that would reveal. He remained silent until the woman spoke again.

"Could you not have saved him... if you saw all of that?"

"I was assisting Minerva," he said quietly. "If I could have broken away sooner, I would have. It all happened so fast, and I was on my way over just as Bellatrix hit him with a curse."

"Bloody bitch," she said hatefully. "She's lucky poor Neville got her. I would have made her suffer!"

"Calm down, Molly," her husband said quietly, rubbing her back as he spoke. "What brings you here, Severus? Do you have some news of Dumbledore?"

This caused Severus to look around uncertainly. "Is he not here yet?"

"Who?"

"Dumbledore." Both Weasleys looked at each other uncomfortably. "Now see here," Severus said sharply. "I don't expect you to completely trust me...no matter what anyone might have said to prove that I am trustworthy, but I do know that Fawkes was to bring Albus here." He stiffened his spine and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I want to see him immediately."

Arthur shook his head. "He's not here, Severus. We don't know where he is. The last we heard was that he and Harry disappeared. It's unknown if either are alive. There was speculation about your part in things, but then we did hear what Lupin and the others had to say. And Hermione..." The man's eyes narrowed. "It seems that a Death Eater spirited her away just after he hexed Neville."

"Indeed," Severus said, not admitting to anything. He knew that Arthur likely figured that he had been the one to snatch Hermione and hex Longbottom. They would discuss that later if need be, but he hadn't the time to do so now...especially not in Molly's presence.

"It's horrible that we've lost Ron, but to lose the other kids as well," Molly said, wailing suddenly. She clutched at her husbands robes and had the audacity to wipe her face with the fabric.

Impatiently, Severus said, "There is something that I must show you, but first, I need to know that you will not allow anyone else know, aside from the headmaster when he gets here." He hoped Molly would end her dramatic display. He understood that she'd lost a son, but there was so much more at hand that was important. There would be time for grieving later.

After a brief inner debate, Arthur said, "All right, Severus. What is it?"

"We'll need a room. Perhaps the attic?" he asked, remembering it used to be large enough to house that hippogriff.

"Why, it's filthy. I've not been up there in ages. Surely Kreacher hasn't been taking care of it," Molly said. "What of the cellar? I know it's clean."

Severus nodded behind him. "Dobby will be in charge of keeping this room closed and clean. Lead the way," he commanded.

For a moment, it appeared that the woman would protest, but she simply nodded and made her way to the stairs, Arthur on her heels.

"Come, Dobby," Severus said quietly, following the Weasleys up to the top floor.

They were all surprised when they opened the door. An unconscious Dumbledore, who was lying on a small bed near the far wall, inhabited the room. Fawkes was perched over him protectively. "Headmaster!" Severus breathed, striding forward and forgetting about Potter and the others. He sat on the edge of the bed and used his wand to check Dumbledore's health. He placed his hands upon a slowly healing wound on his chest and whispered several incantations. He looked over to the Weasleys. "Close the door and conjure a second bed."

He went back to casting healing spells on the headmaster while the Weasleys prepared a second bed. Severus reached into his pockets, pulled out the small trunk he'd shrunk, which held some potions he'd brought for Potter. He quickly righted it to normal size and pulled out a clear phial. He brought it to the headmaster's lips, parted them, and poured it in. The man sputtered slightly, Fawkes sang a slow tune, and the headmaster's eyes opened.

"Is he all right?" Arthur asked.

"It looks like Fawkes must have healed most of his hexes, but the largest was still open. I'd say it's mostly exhaustion that has him down... hopefully," Severus answered.

"Well, that's good," Molly agreed, shuffling forward.

"You're at headquarters," Snape said quietly. "Potter is with me." A faint smile played upon Dumbledore's lips, and his eyes closed again.

"What's this?" Molly asked from behind. "What do you mean?"

Severus looked to Dobby. "Do it."

Dobby blasted the air above him, and Potter's hovering body came into view as his cloak fell away. In the next instant, the house-elf had him lying on the other bed. "Harry Potter is safe. Professor Snape and Dobby is taking care of Harry Potter."

"You've brought Harry to us!" Arthur exclaimed.

Molly was already at the edge of the bed touching his forehead. "All is not lost," she said emotionally. "Ron would have wanted Harry to live and do what must be done. He didn't die in vain." She sniffled slightly and looked at Severus. "He's like my son, too, this one. I am glad he lives and will do what must be done to be certain he stays that way."

"He's had the doses he needs for now. I would suggest that you allow him to rest and give him the potions needed only when it's time for them." He nodded to Dumbledore. "He'll be needing care as well."

"I don't understand," Arthur said. "How did you get Harry?"

Severus was quiet for a moment and said, "Dumbledore left instructions for me. Harry cannot be seen. If the Dark Lord finds out that Potter lives, I am afraid it will be the end for us all." He thought for a moment. "You will need help. I would say that Parkinson could be trusted with this. Any of your children are too close to him, and it might interfere with his recovery in some way. Parkinson will remain quiet about this, and it will give her something to take her mind off of... her loss."

"All right," Molly said, wiping the remains of her tears away. "I only wish Hermione would be here with us."

"She is safe," Severus said impulsively.

"Is that so?" Arthur asked, suspicion showing in his eyes once again.

"It is, and that is all you shall know on the matter." He stood. "I must be going. Dobby has instructions and will give them to you. Potter needs to completely heal before anyone can know he's survived." He nodded in farewell and strode to the door. He looked back and asked, "I trust you will talk to Parkinson?"

"I will," Molly said. "And thank you for the news on Hermione."

"You should let Parkinson know that her father is no longer alive. She should learn the truth. I shall be in touch as soon as I can, but I cannot promise that I will be able to come by often." He looked back to the two sleeping forms. "And remember to keep silent about this."

"You can trust us, Severus," Arthur said.

Without another word, Severus quickly left and began thinking of what he would tell his Lord. I suppose I can wait to see how things are going before paying a visit to the Malfoys and the others. If I can spare Lucius and Narcissa, I would like to see it done. Steeling himself, he closed away the true events of the day from his mind, altering things to suit his purposes. He would tell the Dark Lord that Dumbledore was hidden away at headquarters, but he would likely not be recovering without help. He would state that Potter hadn't been with the headmaster, only Fawkes. It was the truth after all.

I hope that Hermione can appreciate this one day. It's only because of her... Well, it's mostly because of her that I'm helping Boy Fucking Wonder. With a loud Crack, Severus Disapparated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione heard the click of the door and sat up. It was dark already, and she could barely make out a form across the room as it walked towards her. "Se-Severus?"

"It is I," he said. "Are you not feeling well? It's quite early to be abed."

"There was nothing else to do," she admitted. "I was bored." She slid out from the bed and made her way to the loo. "You were gone a long time," she called, wondering if there was any news. After she finished, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Feeling refreshed, she went back to their bedchamber. "Sorry. Your reply was muffled."

"I did much today," he said. "Let me shower, and we can eat together after. I've some things to tell you."

"All right," she said, moving to sit in a chair near the fire he'd started. She didn't hear him approach, so she was surprised when he placed a book in her hands.

"I was able to get a few things," he said quietly, leaning down to kiss her upon the cheek.

She turned her face and pressed her lips against his, reaching up to put her arms around his neck. "I've missed you today."

He smirked and pulled her up; the book in her lap slipped to the floor as he did so. He turned them and moved so that he would be the one sitting and pulled her onto his lap. "I admit that I've had a long day."

Hermione snuggled closely as he pulled her against him and rested his chin on top of her head. He would squeeze her tightly and kiss her head now and again. After a long silence, she asked, "Is something wrong?"

"I went to the castle today. Minerva heard nothing that would be helpful to us," he said, rubbing his jaw against her hair. "I was able to get a few things whilst at the castle without being bothered by anyone." He pulled back to look at her. "I looked for Potter in different places. He's not at the castle or on the grounds."

Her eyes widened with surprise. "Thank you, Severus," she said, turning her head to face him. "That means a lot to me."

"Being discreet is hard right now. There are Aurors about who are claiming to be there for security." His eyes narrowed. "A few of them are quite insufferable!"

"I can imagine," she said. "Although, I am happy that you aren't getting any trouble from the Order members or the Ministry."

"Well, two members pulled their wands on me today. I had to disarm them," he said, smirking slightly.

"Good grief. What happened?" she asked, touching his chest as if to find a hex wound.

"The Weasley twins weren't too happy to see me when I went to headquarters. I suppose they are curious as to what part I truly played during the attack at Hogwarts." He pulled one of her hands up to his lips, kissing her palm. "Their eldest brothers and parents talked sense into them, and I conversed with the Weasleys after."

Hermione looked down guiltily. "Poor Mrs. Weasley. Is she coping well?"

Severus sighed. "She is still upset, even crying openly in front of me, but I am certain that she is hopeful that things will work out and that her son has not died in vain." He lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "She'd heard that you were with him when he died and wondered if he'd said anything or if he was in pain."

She frowned. What could she say? She didn't really want to tell Severus what Ron had truly said. It seemed that to do so would betray Ron somehow. She supposed there would be no harm in it, but she wasn't quite ready to divulge that. She tucked that away into the part of her that was sort of happy that Ron died without ever knowing it was Severus Snape that she'd fallen in love with. He would have been angry and disappointed. It wasn't that she was embarrassed about her lover, but she felt that it simply caused Ron less grief in his life, especially if he'd still been in love with her.

"Ron's last moments seemed to have been spent in shock. He said a few things. The last of which was Ron calling for his mum. I think that it all happened too quickly for him to have been feeling too much pain," she said, voice low. "Perhaps I should write to Molly, and tell her something, offer my condolences. It would only be right."

"You will not," he said. "Now isn't the time for it." He tilted his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. "She knows that you are safe. I don't want her any more curious about that."

"Fair enough," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder and pressing her lips against his exposed throat. "It's hard to believe that he's gone."

"Regardless of what one might think, I truly can understand the feeling of loss. I simply choose to deal with it in different ways."

"In the battle... were some of your friends killed?" she asking, having never thought of it that way.

"I haven't allowed myself to be close to anyone in a long time," he admitted. "However, there are a few that I am sorry to see lost. Had things been different, I am certain they might have made great friends at some point."

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "Is the Dark Lord angry with you... for not finding Harry?"

Severus shook his head. "Not at me... just in general." He surprised her by smiling. "I wanted to tell you that when I went to headquarters, I found Dumbledore there. He needed help with healing and is quite weak, but that is a start, isn't it?"

She smiled brightly. "Oh, yes, it is! Did he say anything about Harry?"

Shaking his head, he said, "No, Hermione, he did not speak of Potter...only Fawkes was with him. He is in no condition to speak at the present time. I am uncertain if he will be able to pull through. He's quite weak... and his age is working against him."

"What does the Dark Lord say about Dumbledore being alive?" she asked, fearing that he'd be ordered to end the headmaster's life somehow.

"I have been instructed to let things lie for now. He's hoping that the headmaster will speak of Potter's whereabouts before he passes."

"Ha! He's not got much faith on his survival, eh? Well, I'm counting on it," she said, firmly believing her words.

Severus frowned. "In the event that he begins to make a full recovery, I am meant to see that he has a relapse."

"Oh."

"Exactly."

"I am proud of you," she said, giggling at his incredulous expression. "For trying to look for Harry, I mean." She hugged him tightly. "I was so afraid that all was lost, but with Dumbledore still around, there has to be hope. Harry will turn up, too. I can just feel it."

"I promise that I will find him for you," Severus said softly.

"Thank you," she whispered, feeling elation over his promise. "I love you, you know."

"I know you do," he said.

Hearing the softer tone in his voice, she looked up. "I always will."

"So will I," he said, continuing to gaze at her. "Love you, I mean..." His words trailed away as his lips moved over hers for a soft, chaste kiss.

He's finally said it aloud! Things can only get better between us now, she thought happily. When he pulled back, she grabbed him and forced her lips back onto his, parting her own and using her tongue to seek entrance. He growled and tried to meld his body into hers, hands tangling in her hair. She rubbed herself against him wantonly, making certain that he knew what she needed.

Severus tore his lips away from hers. "You little wanton. Whatever will I do with you?"

"Make love to me," she whispered intensely. "I need you."

"I shall," he said before sucking on her throat, marking her as his and causing her to whimper and wriggle against him. "First, I will shower."

"No, that can wait," she said, reaching down to cup the slight bulge in the crotch of his trousers.

Smirking, he arched an eyebrow and asked, "Are you quite certain? I've been out all day, and I m..."

"I don't care about that," she interrupted, bringing her lips to nip his neck. She used her tongue and lips to lave and suck until she was certain that she'd marked him. She pulled away with a loud pop, causing her to giggle. "Whoops."

He chuckled. "Naughty wench." With that, he pulled her close to him, stood, and shakily made his way over to the bed where he dumped her down unceremoniously. "I suppose I shall endeavor to satisfy your needs, my dear." He began pulling away his clothing.

Hermione followed suit, ridding herself of her attire. "Perhaps it is I who shall satisfy you."

"I've no doubt about it," he allowed, pouncing on her, lips and hands immediately exploring her willing body.

She was pleased that they were getting on well and that he was receptive to her advances. Something had definitely changed since she'd attempted to have that initial talk with him. She would not question it but would simply welcome it openly. "Oh, yes," she said with a hiss as his tongue circled one of her hardened nipples, sending a slight jolt through her entire breast. She felt his hand cup her sex, sliding one finger within.

"You're quite wet."

"I want you..." She quivered with delight as his mouth nibbled on her stomach momentarily before kissing a path up to her mouth. Once there, he kissed her fiercely and slammed into her depths, causing a muffled cry to escape her lips. "Mmmph."

He said nothing and continued their fervent kissing as he moved within her. She moved with him, bracing her hands upon the headboard above her for leverage, and when she pulled her legs up around his waist, he stopped, wrenching his lips from hers. She had no time to question him, for he said, "Turn over."

Hoping he wasn't going to attempt to have her in another entrance, she did as commanded. She was relieved when he began caressing her back with his hands and following his movements with his mouth, eventually kneading her arse and thighs.

"Up on your knees."

Severus quickly helped her situate herself, using his hands to guide himself to her entrance, and slid in from behind, groaning as he did so. She moaned as well, enjoying the angle of his penetration. She also liked that she could easily move back against him. Several rapid, deep strokes later had both of them panting, and she could feel her orgasm coming for her, though it didn't seem enough. Hermione nearly moved a hand beneath her for extra stimulation, but she didn't want to lose their rhythm.

"Hermione... can't... wait..." her lover said through heavy exhales. She felt the erratic jerking of his body against hers and knew he'd climaxed, leaving her to feel slightly frustrated.

"Ouch!" she squealed as one of his hands stung her arse with a small slap.

"Turn over," he commanded.

She turned over and grinned as his mouth found her breasts, and his fingers began stimulating her clitoris, causing the wondrous feeling of excitement to come back to her. "That feels good," she whispered as his mouth nibbled the underside of her breast in time with his moving fingers. "Severus... it's... I'm... yesssss." She began bucking against his hands and entwining her fingers in his hair, keeping his mouth close to her body. She arched her head back and moaned loudly, screaming his name and not caring who heard. As she collapsed into the dreamlike world of afterglow, she felt him move to lie next to her, though he kept one of his legs hooked over one of hers.

Moments later, he said, "I shall be back shortly. I'm going to shower and then get some food for us. After that, we can have a bit of reading if you'd like."

"Mmmm hmmm," she murmured, completely sated, not wanting to move. She propped herself up on her elbows to look at him when she felt him hesitate. "All right, Severus?"

"I am," he said, looking down at her body for a moment, reaching out to touch one of her breasts. "About what I said earlier..."

"Right?"

"I meant it."

"I know you did," she said, sitting up to pull his face to hers for a quick kiss. "Go. I'll just loaf about some more." She smirked. "You'll end up with a lazy cow if I don't find something to do while we're stuck here."

"We shall see to that then," he said, shaking his head and biting back a chuckle as he left her side.

Hermione smiled as she watched his pale, naked arse move while he retreated to the loo. Dumbledore had been found! The Weasleys were coping. Surely Harry would turn up...especially since Dumbledore was still alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pansy wiped Harry's head with the cool, damp cloth once more. She tried to ignore the fact that a slumbering Dumbledore was only ten feet away. She simply concentrated on the sleeping boy before her. "It's been nearly a week since they've brought you here," she said quietly. "Won't you wake, Harry? So much has been happening."

She knew there would be no response. There hadn't been one since Professor Snape had brought him...unless the slightest opening of his eyes counted. Dumbledore mumbled now and then, but when he would wake, it would only be to eye Harry, as if to make certain he was still alive, and after that, he'd be back off to sleep again.

"The funeral was yesterday," she said calmly. "Everyone was saying how it didn't feel right without you or Granger there." She smiled ruefully. "I have to agree on that. I'm sure Ron understands though." She placed the cloth beside the bed and took his hand. "He loved you, Harry. You and Granger... Hermione... were his best mates. Don't you dare feel responsible for what happened. Nothing could have kept him here."

Pansy had been devastated when she'd found out that Ron had been killed. She'd just made the resolve to be good to him and to try to love him the way he deserved. It was as if he was taken right when she wanted him the most. With him went her security, her hope, and her will. The time she spent between hearing that and seeing Harry had been the worst she'd ever experienced. Mrs. Weasley had said it right. With Harry, there comes hope.

She'd been honored that Professor Snape trusted her enough to bestow such a task to her. It had also been hard to hear of her father's demise, but she'd long suspected it. Pansy would never forget his kindness and would do what was bidden. He'd only come back twice to check on their two sick guests, but he hadn't had any further instruction for her. She looked back down to Harry again and took his hand. She was quite glad to spend most of her spare time up with them, reading aloud, hoping they'd find comfort in her words.

Draco and Ginny had been arguing over telling the Weasleys about her pregnancy. Draco didn't want to say anything, wanting to allow everyone to grieve without another "burden" to worry about. Ginny felt that her child was not a burden, and that it was as Lupin had said...something about new life in a time of death that gave hope to others. Pansy made certain to keep out of their arguments, not wanting to be accused of taking sides.

"Harry, you might not want to hear this, and I know that I can't replace Ron... I'll try to help you. I swear it, but you need to pull through. All right?" She felt his hand squeeze hers. "Harry? Was that... you?" This time she was rewarded with the opening of his eyes. She smiled and hoped that he was able to focus on her, though he blinked several times. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," he rasped.

"Do you need something? Water?" At his slight nod, she poured some of her cooled water from a pitcher into his glass. She scooted closer, lifted his head, and helped him take a few drinks. When he'd had enough, she placed the glass aside. "All right?"

"Need the loo," he said slowly. "Feel so weak..."

"Oh," Pansy said, at a loss for words. She hadn't counted on that. The nearest bathroom was one floor down. There was no way that he could make it down there, and besides, someone else might spot him. She spotted an oddly shaped pan near the bed. "I'm afraid that it won't be possible for me to help you down without someone seeing you. We have you in hiding here, but I can... I can help you use this." She quickly retrieved the pan.

Pansy watched as his cheeks reddened slightly, but he didn't object. He shifted a little towards his side, trying to pull his duvet away, causing him to grunt.

"Stop, Harry. Let me," she said quietly. She lifted the duvet and placed her hands beneath his dressing gown without pulling it up. Hooking the tops of his briefs with her fingers, she pulled them down gently, just enough to free his... penis. She felt her face redden, and she made certain to not look at him. Awkwardly moving the pan beneath his dressing gown, she looked away as she groped for his penis in an attempt to direct it towards the pan.

Relief filled her when she felt his own hand close over hers, guiding himself. She slipped her hand away and simply held the pan. A few moments later, he said, "Done."

As steadily as possible, she pulled her wand from her sleeve with one of her hands, moved it beneath his dressing gown to point in the pan, "Evanesco." She felt the pan lighten immediately. She pulled it out, confident that his urine was gone. She cast a quick Cleansing Charm on it before placing it next to the bed. She then took the damp cloth from the nightstand and moved it beneath his dressing gown to wipe any remnants away. Once done, he shifted so that she could ease up his briefs again. "Well," she began shakily, finally able to eye him, "that wasn't so bad."

He smiled and nodded. She noticed that his eyes were glimmering. Had they always been so vividly green before? So mesmerizing? It must only be because his glasses are missing.

"Tired," he whispered.

"Sleep, Harry. You're on your way to recovery." She grinned and took his hand in hers. "Next time, maybe you'll be able to... do this on your own." She brought his hand to her lips and placed a small kiss on it. When she realized what she'd done, she quickly released his hand and stood. "Do you need anything else?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes. She smoothed back a few locks of hair from his face. "I'll go let Molly know that you've finally broke away from your sleeping. I won't leave you alone long. All right?" The nod of his head told her that he'd heard her. She quickly fled, thankful he'd not questioned her about what had happened or her friends.

Southern's Notes: I hope that nobody truly detests the last bit with Pansy and Harry, but I need them to get closer. Why not start there? Heehee. Anyway, Snape and Hermione are getting along well. He truly needs to keep the fact that he found Harry to himself. If she would know, the Dark Lord might detect it, and it would be game over. And while his declaring his love might be "sentimental," I'm happy that he was able to admit it to her. I suppose he cannot give her much else, so he decided to give her that.

I don't have the next chapter outlined or anything, but I'm certain where I'd like to go. I think Hermione should take another walk about the castle, and I think that maybe I should show a little Draco and Ginny. I'm going to have a little more time passing while Harry recuperates. I'll update by Friday or Saturday this week. Cheers! SW69