Making Rational Decisions

Disclaimer: J.K.R. created these characters and the cool spells they use. I'm just playing with them and not making any money.

As always, thanks go to my lovely and brilliant beta, Charmed_Nay.

This reminds me of a scene at the end of the chapter. Hope you like, although certain resolutions might make some of the shadings off.

Getting into Hogwarts undetected wasn't as easy as Severus had thought it would be. It seemed that there were even more Aurors about, though no students were back at school. Perhaps someone had fed them some information about the Dark Lord's pending plans. But who? He'd have to tell his Lord that he'd attempted to get by unseen and had a challenge. Lately, the man had been speaking of storming the gates a final time to take residence. This would buy Potter a little extra time if the Dark Lord thought there might be extra resistance this time around...not that a castle protected by Dumbledore wasn't forbidding enough, but the headmaster had been unprepared for such a raid.

Severus and Draco slipped into the darkened hospital wing and made their way to the secret room where he'd found Potter. After warding that door behind them, he allowed Draco to take Potter's cloak off. He paused before opening the door to their rooms. "It will be hard to see them cooped up like this, but I fear it must be done."

To his surprise, Draco nodded. "I'll not beg for their release... not yet."

"Very well." Opening the door, he ushered Draco inside and paused to stare at the posh suite before him. "What the hell?" he muttered, flicking his wand to ward them in. Draco caught his eye, an incredulous expression on his face. Severus shrugged. There was a roaring fire in the corner with two chairs and a small table before it. There were many bookshelves aligning the walls near that corner. Thick carpeting lined the floors, and feminine tapestries adorned the walls. A large canopied bed was in the far corner while the opposite corner was made into a dining area, which had a tabletop filled with various dishes of food. The center of the room seemed to be a sitting area. Large flowery plants hung from the ceiling along the walls, and in the very center of the room, hanging from the ceiling, Severus recognized the familiar chandelier normally in the Malfoy dining room.

A door to their left was ajar, and steam was coming out. The spray of water and laughter could be heard. Draco smirked and strode forward, sitting on the overstuffed chair next to the couch. "And here I thought they were living in a small room and sharing a small bed while having meager meals at best."

Severus cleared his throat and called, "Lucius." More laughter was heard, and the spray of water was turned off. Severus took a seat across from Draco, not wanting to be too involved in their family discussion, but wanting to be close enough to intervene if it became too heated.

"Severus, Draco!" Lucius greeted a few minutes later, dressed in casual attire and sounding as if he were greeting guests into his home. "It's been so long, my son. I am happy that Severus has allowed you to come."

Draco rose and shook his father's hand. Lucius pulled him closer for a quick embrace. "You seem to be living the life," Draco commented.

"Ah, you know your mother," he said dismissively, sitting on the couch nearest Draco's chair. "Tell me. What occasion is this? Has the Dark Lord been defeated?" He looked to Severus as he asked this.

"No," the dark man answered. "He's still in hiding... for now."

"Oh, Draco!" Narcissa exclaimed as she entered. Her long, pale hair was down and flowing in her wake as she made her way to her son. She, too, was dressed casually. "What a surprise!"

"Mother," Draco said, rising to meet her. They embraced for a long moment, and Severus felt extremely uncomfortable.

"And, Severus, hello," she said when she released Draco.

He nodded. "Narcissa."

She sat down next to Lucius, bringing Draco to sit next to her and causing Lucius to rise and take Draco's chair. "What has happened?" she asked, eyeing them suspiciously. "Are we to be freed?"

"Draco requested a visit to speak with you on something of importance." Severus shrugged. "I am here mainly to see that all is well and that nobody is discovered."

Both Malfoys looked at their son expectantly. "Mother, Father," he began, "I'm here to speak to you about my future... about my pending marriage."

"I thought you wanted to do away with the alliance to the Parkinson family?" Lucius asked.

"This is not about Pansy, Father."

"Oh, that little Greengrass girl then. Daphne, is it?" Narcissa asked, blue eyes twinkling. "I must say that I am quite happy. She will give you lovely heirs and is much more..."

"IloveGinnyWeasley."

"What?" both parents asked.

Severus smirked, enjoying the boy's uneasiness. Not as easy as you thought, eh? He wondered idly what Hermione's parents would say about her relationship with one of her ex-professors, an older one at that! Would they threaten to disown her or welcome him? He pushed the thoughts aside. There would be time to deal with them later if Potter was victorious. If not, well, it didn't really matter what they thought of him. He looked back to the Malfoys. Only Lucius seemed to have deciphered what his son had said, even though he'd quickly repeated it once again. Narcissa still had a confused expression upon her face. Lucius' pale eyes met Severus' for a moment, and Severus nodded in the affirmative. The look of disgust left his friend's face immediately, an expression of calculation taking its place.

"I said," Draco continued again, a tone of defiance now making its way into his voice, "that I love Ginny Weasley, and I plan to marry her. We've told her parents, and I thought it only right to tell you."

Narcissa began laughing. "Oh, honestly, Draco! You jest. A Weasley? Why, they are blood traitors of the worst kind... and poor. You loathe them."

"Those poor, blood traitors have been keeping me safe, feeding me, and accepting me into their lives without question even though I've always been an arse to them," Draco said heatedly, jumping up to pace. "You'll not talk about them in such a way when they are the ones we owe for keeping us alive and not asking anything for it in return!"

"So you mean to repay them by honoring them to become part of our family! Ridiculous," Narcissa said. "You needn't go so far as to ruin your life just to find a way to thank them for what they are doing. I am certain we can compensate them for whatever they've given you." She looked to Lucius for his agreement. "Tell him."

Lucius eyed his son for a long moment before asking, "What else is there?"

"She's pregnant," Draco admitted.

Narcissa groaned. "So... trickery it is! She's done this purposely to force you into..."

"Don't you talk about her that way," Draco interrupted, anger reverberating through his body, causing his hands to shake. "You want to know why I started wanting her? Feeling something for her?" He nodded towards his father. "I felt an unexplained need to protect her from him after he and the Dark Lord requested that I get to know her better. How could I not feel something for her after truly speaking with her? She's the best... I could NEVER let anyone harm her."

Lucius' face flushed guiltily as he stood. "You must know, son, that harming her was never my intention."

"You wanted to use her like a bloody pawn! She was to be your leverage! Don't you know what would have happened to her?" Lucius opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it quickly. "You just didn't care... so long as you were all right."

"I was looking out for the three of us, Draco. It's not always just about me," he returned coolly.

"How can you defend someone like her when your father was only trying to do what was right for us all? She's nothing but scum...a Potter follower!" Narcissa interjected.

Severus' eyebrow arched. This is getting interesting. "Narcissa, it would do well to curb those words around others, as it happens to be a Potter supporter that is allowing you to live in his castle at the present time. I am uncertain he would appreciate your style of gratitude."

"Times are changing," Draco said, adding, "and if you ever call her something like that again, Mother, you'll lose me."

"You would chose an outsider over family?" his mother asked shrilly, losing her poise.

"She is family... so is my baby. I love her," he said firmly, voice lowering. "I thought you'd be happy for me."

"I... am surprised," Narcissa said. She looked to Severus. "How can I ever change the way I've been raised to feel about people like them? I don't mean anyone any true harm, but I still can't see myself being any..."

He shrugged. "Do as you've always done. Put on a different face in public. When you are at home or thinking privately, be yourself." What is so fucking hard about that?

Lucius put a hand on her shoulder. "Calm yourself, Narcissa." He guided her back to the couch. "Draco, you will have to understand that this will take some getting used to, especially for your mother. She's always envisioned your wedding and children a certain way. I suppose sharing holidays with Weasleys is a bit much...for now."

"I know what you did to her all those years ago," Draco said quietly.

"Pardon?" Lucius asked, straightening and turning to face him.

"The diary."

"And?"

"And she forgives you," Draco said grudgingly. "But if you ever do anything like that again..."

Lucius nodded. "I'll not oppose this union, Draco, and I hope you realize that being a prisoner and being on the run these past few months have humbled me somewhat. I wanted a change before Severus brought me here." He smirked. "I was simply going about it the wrong way."

"Y-you won't object? Why?" Draco asked, expression instantly twisted in surprise.

"Yes, explain," Narcissa demanded, having recovered from her initial shock. "I thought you detested Arthur Weasley and the others!"

"Now is not the time for this, Cissy," Lucius bit out. "It is to our advantage to accept this union and allow our former foes to be on friendlier terms with us."

Severus smirked. He knew where Lucius was coming from. Though the man would have preferred a wealthier, classier wife for his son, the answer to all of his problems could be easily solved with his pending relations with the Weasleys, who rank high at the Ministry and with Dumbledore and Potter, through Draco. "A most noble decision," Severus said dryly.

Lucius made a face at him as if to tell him to be silent, but there was no need. Draco blissfully began chattering on about how much they would simply adore Ginny and how she deserved a better lifestyle after all the hardships she'd endured. For all his good intentions, the boy still had much to learn about life and love. Finally, Narcissa came around.

"Well, how far along is she?" she asked with sudden interest, winking at her husband, who breathed a sigh of relief.

Severus moved off to the side, followed by Lucius, and spoke to him privately about things going on with their Lord and the progression of Potter's new training while mother and son discussed family matters.

"So you think that Potter can do it?" Lucius asked eagerly.

"He's nearly ready, yes, and with the element of surprise, it will be quite simple. Our Lord will never suspect a thing," Severus said confidently.

"How fares the old M... Dumbledore?"

"I believe that he was weakened considerably, but I'd still not suggest anyone go against him in a duel." Severus smirked. "Fawkes took him away from the battle and began healing him through Phoenix tears and brought him to the safety of headquarters. I found him the next night after I'd brought Potter there. I realized the extent of his injuries then when I began my own form of healing with magic and potions."

"While Narcissa has made our prison into something more enjoyable...an extended holiday if you will...I'd very much like to get back to my home." He shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I hope that luck is with the Potter boy."

"As do I," Severus agreed. "There is something that I must know."

"Yes?"

"How was all of this accomplished without magic?"

Lucius chuckled. "My wife always did have a way with Dobby. Where I was quite... rough with the creature, she only needed to whisper something sweetly to see it done. I never approved, of course, but now, I am quite relieved that she did so, as we've been living like royalty...waited on at any time of day or night."

"And what of the young Weasley girl? Are you truly going to allow that to continue?" Severus questioned.

"There comes a time in life, old friend, where we must learn to accept what cannot be changed. I grant my son permission to carry on."

"And her family's connections with the Ministry and the Order have nothing to do with your sudden change of heart?" Severus queried.

"Of course it does," Lucius hissed quietly, eyes glinting mischievously. "Narcissa will behave herself as well. I'll see to it." Suddenly, Lucius looked Severus up and down. "You are looking a bit haggard. What's happening to you? Has our Lord been unmerciful? What of your witch?"

Crossing his arms in front of him, closing his robes as he did so, Severus replied, tightlipped, "I don't see where my personal life is your concern, Lucius. Suffice it to say that my witch is right where she should be."

"Is she? I would have thought that the gilded cage wouldn't be so enjoyable," Lucius commented, arching a refined eyebrow.

"How dare you insinuate that she is only there because I've forced her to be!" Severus demanded forcefully, taking a step closer to Lucius, not caring that the other two Malfoys looked up at him with wide-eyed expressions.

Taking a single step back, he said, "I meant you, Severus." Lucius looked over to his family and nodded to reassure them that all was well before quietly adding to Severus, "Is there something you need to discuss?"

"Certainly not," Severus said, feeling foolish for his outburst. It seemed that Lucius had pointed out what Severus himself had been thinking earlier in the day, causing him to react in such a manner.

"Well, I've nothing better to do, should you care to stop by for a talk."

Nodding brusquely, Severus turned on his heel and strode towards the door. "Come, Draco."

"Oh? So soon?" Narcissa questioned.

"I've other things that I could be doing, yes."

Draco bid his family farewell and remained quiet as Severus warded their door. Once that was done, he said, "Father and Mother likely see my relationship with Ginevra as a ticket to a life free of Azkaban."

Irritated, Severus said, "Your father will already be skirting Azkaban thanks to the headmaster's false testimony that will say he's been a help to us all along."

"That doesn't mean that her family's good standing shouldn't be used to his advantage," Draco pointed out. "I know how my father works. I just wished they'd been more receptive."

Severus sighed. "Does it truly matter how they feel about her right now?"

"It does to me, though I admit that just having their blessing makes me feel better."

"She will grow on them eventually, Draco. She'll be round with child, and they'll forget all about the things that make them feel she's not right for their son, concentrating on their grandchild, who is of Malfoy blood." He strode forward, Disillusioning himself as he did so. "Put the cloak on."

"Her parents will be the same," Draco said, donning Potter's cloak.

"The Weasleys have already truly accepted you into their home. You needn't fret about that."

"No, I was talking about Granger's parents and how they might feel towards you at first."

"We'll not speak of my relationship with Hermione again." How dare this young boy bring up something so personal? I guess he figured it was all right since I was giving out advice. If Hermione's parents do not approve, I won't care, but for Hermione's sake, I hope they will take things in stride as the Malfoys had, having minimal objections.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I must be away for a while. There is someone that I need to see now that I am well enough," Dumbledore announced.

Pansy and Harry looked up from their game of chess. "Are you truly well enough?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Oh, I am indeed," came the kind reply. The wizard stood and stretched.

"But, sir, Snape said you should rest more."

"Any further resting, Harry, and I might as well be dead. I've had enough of lying about." He smiled. "I know that Severus means well, but I am old enough to make decisions for myself."

Smiling, Pansy said, "I think you're much better, but I wouldn't recommend overdoing it just yet. We... need you."

Dumbledore touched her face. "You have been a great help, and I thank you for your assistance." He nodded to Harry. "You should concentrate on him now. He's the one that will have to do a bit of fast-paced maneuvering soon."

"Won't you come with us?" Pansy asked, suddenly frightened. She'd known that Harry would be going for Voldemort and had even planned on going with him, but she'd always imagined Dumbledore at their side.

"Of course, dear girl, but it is Harry's hex that must count." Harry made to rise, but Dumbledore stopped him. "Carry on. I shall return in an hour."

"But, sir, I..."

Dumbledore grabbed Fawkes' tail feathers, and both disappeared with a small burst of flames.

Harry shrugged. "He's right. No other wizard is better than him...even if he is injured."

Biting her lip for a moment, Pansy said, "You will be one day, Harry."

Harry eyed her for a moment and smiled, seeing the adoration and longing in her eyes. Then, something happened. He felt suddenly different; his eyes drifted to view her plump lips and saw her tongue dart out to moisten them. Moving forward slowly, he glanced back at her eyes and found she was moving forward, too, eyes closed. She expected him to kiss her, wanted him to do so. And I want to kiss you, Pansy, he thought as his lips pressed against hers chastely. His eyes closed, and he moved closer, bringing his hands up to cup her head and face. Just as he parted his lips, intent on deepening the kiss, there was a loud crash.

He jumped back, startled. In his haste to get closer to her, he knocked the chessboard over and down to the floor. "Er... sorry?" he offered uncertainly. She looked horrified. He had been certain, however, that she'd wanted to kiss him as well.

"No. Really," she said, stooping to pick up the angry, shouting pieces. "I need to go down and see about dinner anyway."

Harry knelt down next to her and grabbed her hands. "Pansy, I don't want anything to change. I just thought that you wanted me to... to do it. I shouldn't have."

"I did," she said in a hushed tone. "I just don't want to be a replacement."

"A replacement? Oh." Harry realized she was thinking of Gabrielle and his feelings for her. His face heated. "I wasn't thinking of her just then. I suppose I should have been, but the way you looked at me with such..." His voice trailed away. "Were you thinking of Ron?"

"Not just then, no," she admitted. "I am now though. Is this wrong?"

"We've been so close lately," he suggested. "It's only natural that we would develop feelings for each other."

"Do you have feelings for me?" she asked hopefully, squeezing his hands.

That was a tough question. He hadn't thought too much of it before, but in that one moment, something had shifted. "I think so. You?"

"I think so, too."

"But you don't know if we should act on them," Harry finished for her, seeing the expression on her face.

"Before we go any further, I think we should make certain that is what we want so that if... if anything changes, neither of us will be hurt," she said, looking away from him.

What would change? he wondered. "Are you afraid that I'm going to die and leave you alone the way Ron did?"

"No," she said immediately. "I have faith in your ability."

"More than I," he muttered.

She pulled one of her hands free of his and cupped his cheek with it, forcing him to look at her. "You're a great wizard, Harry, and always have been. Though I was a different person in school and placed importance on the wrong things, I always grudgingly respected you and the way you'd best Draco time and again." She smiled. "I... I am afraid that Gabrielle will be found, and that would halt anything we'd start." She closed her eyes as if trying to summon courage. "I don't wish her to be dead, Harry. I swear it. I just don't want to stand in the way if she returns or have my... heart broken when you'd leave me for her again."

Harry didn't know what to say. Who would he pick if that did happen? He wished that Gabrielle would be alive, having simply been held someplace, but Snape said that there was no sign of her at all. He'd lost hope that she'd come back, and he still felt guilty for not forcing Fleur to leave her at headquarters somehow. No matter how he'd felt about Gabby or still felt, something was happening with Pansy, and he wanted to explore it. "I understand," he said.

Seeing the hurt look on her face made him feel guilty for not explaining himself better. "I mean to say that I understand what you mean, but I don't think there is cause to worry about me hurting you...for any reason." When she smiled, he moved closer and kissed her again. This time, their lips parted, tongues meeting and mingling. He could only describe the kiss as soft and pleasing. She pulled away after giving him one final closed-mouth kiss and giggled.

The moment was spoiled when a voice spoke behind them. "Where is Albus?"

Molly Weasley. Shite, Harry thought, feeling guilty. He turned to face her and felt Pansy pull away and rise. He stood and said, "He said he had someone to talk to."

She put her hands on her hips. "I just want to know how long this has been going on?"

"Sorry?" Harry asked in what he hoped was an innocent voice.

"Pansy?" she asked, looking past Harry. "Did you have these feelings for Harry when Ron was... alive?"

"It's not like that," Pansy said. "We've become close and have both lost people we loved."

Molly ignored this. "Harry? What about you?"

"It's as she said," he said adamantly.

"Well, let's hope Ron approves...wherever he may be," she said quietly. "I need a little help with dinner, Pansy. Ginny isn't feeling well all of a sudden, and Draco is out with Snape."

"Yes, ma'am," Pansy said, moving to follow Mrs. Weasley out the room.

"Wait," Harry called. Both women turned around. "I meant for Pansy to wait." Molly eyed them both, but she simply nodded and left without speaking again.

"Harry, maybe it isn't such a good idea," Pansy said in resignation. "I never thought about how others might think of it."

"Rubbish," he said. "We needn't rush anything, but I'll not have you staying away just to please her or anyone else. Whatever happens simply does. All right?"

"All right," she agreed. "Chess after dinner then since you purposely knocked over the board while I was winning?"

"Definitely."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a lengthy talk with the Dark Lord, Severus made his way into his bedchambers. He noticed Hermione right away. She was over on their bed, sleeping atop the duvet in a white, long-sleeved nightgown. She looked as though she were the epitome of pureness while lying there. How could he have ever thought that someone such as he had the right to taint her? Reaching down, he softly traced her face with his fingers. He hated seeing her in such a state. In the past couple of weeks since their argument out in the courtyard, he'd been quite cold to her, hoping to teach her a lesson, but perhaps he'd gone too far.

With each new day, she grew more resigned to her fate, the spark leaving her as hope fled. He hadn't cared about her feelings in the beginning. Not really. He'd wanted to possess her and simply figured she would meekly go along with whatever he'd decided, forgetting about her loyalty to Potter if need be. That had not happened. She'd remained loyal to the boy even after she'd begun to think he'd died. This bothered Severus more than he'd ever admit to her.

And he'd not counted on falling in love with her, nor worrying about how she felt and if she was happy. He'd not counted on hurting because she did, nor worrying about her feelings and the way she saw him as a man and a lover. Did she truly think him to simply be using her body? He thought he'd always made it clear when he was with her that it wasn't only taking that he desired, but he'd been giving as well. Giving her everything. I cannot allow you to whither away, he thought sadly. It would be better to let her go than to force her to live in unhappiness. He'd send her back to where she wanted to be.

When Lucius had made that remark about a gilded cage, he'd felt quite guilty and thought he'd been pointing out that Hermione was caged. He knew it to be true in his heart. He should do the right thing and release her. It would do well to see her happy again... or at least read of her happiness from afar. How often had he looked at his parchment lately only to have it tell him that she was sad, depressed, distraught, frustrated, or crying? This would not do. "Hermione," he said softly, touching her on the shoulder firmly. "Wake up."

"Hmmm?" she asked groggily, sitting up and stretching. "What time is it?"

"It's quite late," he replied, scowling slightly as he noticed her weary expression. "I would appreciate it if you weren't so apathetic. I've much to tell you."

"Severus, I'm sorry about those things that I said to you. I'm really going to try to control myself and be the woman that you want me to be, the woman that I know I am. I can't believe that I've allowed myself to wallow in such despair!" She smiled sadly. "I've just been so upset, and I don't know which way to turn sometimes. My life has taken a turn for the worst, and I have to learn to deal with it."

"Is being here with me so horrible?" he asked, hurt that she'd phrased her words in such a way.

"No, I could live anywhere with you, but being here is something I never imagined. I don't feel comfortable leaving our quarters often, and I hate being left alone so much. Why, I never wan..."

"Enough," he interrupted, scowling slightly. "I accept your apology." He looked away from her as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"I miss you," she whispered.

That got his attention. He turned to face her and arched a questioning eyebrow. "Miss me? I've been here the entire time."

"I hate that you don't touch me," she admitted.

He sighed and sat next to her. "You felt that I was using you, so I thought I'd give you reason to believe otherwise."

"I only said that to hurt you. I was angry."

"Does this mean that you'd like to be with me again...in that way?" he asked quietly, stroking her cheek. He knew it would be their last time together. He'd hoped that she might want to... before he let her go. It was unfair of him to allow it to happen without telling her it would never happen again, but if he told her the truth, there was a chance that the Dark Lord could see it in her mostly unprotected mind. He would not be able to tell her anything until they were out of the castle and away from the grounds.

"Very much." She nuzzled into his touch. "Kiss me, Severus."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, beginning the foreplay to the last coupling they would ever share. For in the morning, he would take her to London... to Potter... to where she'd be happier. He would tell the Dark Lord that she was distracting him from his work of finding out what happened to Potter and had decided to place a memory charm on her and dump her off in Diagon Alley where she'd be found, possibly flushing Potter out of hiding to get to her. He would claim that he'd collect her again after they had a stronger claim on the Wizarding world and after he had less important duties to attend, such as finding out who was giving the Ministry inside information. His Lord would allow it... hopefully and be, once again, hoodwinked.

In truth, he'd bring her to his home, explain things to her, and then bring her to Diagon Alley where someone could be waiting to "find" her, keeping up the pretense that he'd create for his Master. Ending things were for the best. If he couldn't force her to be happy or make her happy on his own, he'd see to it that she was in a better place and allow her to find it for herself...no matter the cost to him.

Southern's Notes: I'll give the details in the next chapter, have their final talk, and move on from there. Sad, isn't it? I'll bet she never expected him to break things off.

Sorry for the delay. I've just been uninspired. LOL... Actually, it's real life that's been mucking with me. Things seem to be clearing up though. I'll have the next chapter for you this weekend hopefully. Thanks to those who are still sticking with the story. I do appreciate it.