The Mechanics of Watching and Waiting
Chapter 49 of 101
Rose of the WestSeverus changes his dose of brandy and rediscovers some of his long-held opinions.
ReviewedDisclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.
Severus forced himself to get out of Septima's bed. Part of him wanted to stay with her and forget about everything else, but some vestige of that brandy potion reminded him that he had duties. She reached for him, and he gently set her hands away. “You know this doesn't change anything.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but then nodded. “I didn't actually expect this. I truly just wanted to work on the memory modification.” She looked at him entreatingly. “Please believe that.”
“I do believe it.” He sat on the bed and couldn't resist running his fingers through her hair.
“Did you find what we need?”
He shook his head. “We still don't know how your memories were modified.” And you still don't know about our daughter, he thought. “When Lupin is ill in June, perhaps we can try again.”
She looked out her window. “I may be pregnant by then. Dumbledore has someone working through equations for him to see when the best moment is. I'll have to swallow whatever it is that resists it and go through with it then. He says that if I have a child that's exposed to Remus's illness but healthy, he might be able to cure Remus.”
Severus thought through the premise. It sounded a little like the vaccination technique that Muggles used. Dumbledore must be planning to use the umbilical cord. Yet if the child was a werewolf, she could be torn apart by it. “Are you willing to do that, Septima? Do you want to tie yourself to him for your life? Are you willing to risk your own health?”
She shrugged. “Why not? I've come to realize that Remus isn't interested in me for any long term purpose. Dumbledore tried to match us up, but mostly he wants this child for as long as it takes to cure Remus. I think Remus is interested in someone else but fears trying to make a life with her as he is. He and I are are going to have our fling, then I'll have the baby, they'll get what they need, we'll part ways, and then I'll finally have someone to share my life with. I won't lose this baby. Dumbledore will take care of everything”
“Septima...” He felt overwhelming guilt and sadness. She was being treated as if she was disposable, and she was letting them do it. Had he, through his own selfishness and foolishness, taught her that?
She lifted her hand to the side of his face. “I've told you before that I love you. I'll always love you and nothing will change that. I know I can't hold you to me, so I'll let you go. This way I can have a small someone for me.”
“How can I leave you like this?” he asked. “I feel as though I owe you something.”
She turned away. “Dumbledore was right. He said you would feel obligated. Please don't. Circe knows you've done little enough to make me love you; it's not your responsibility to deal with it.”
That stung, even if it was true. “All right then. This was a beautiful moment, Septima. I'm sorry it has to end.”
She didn't answer him. She just nodded her head as she curled up on her bed. He gathered his clothes and potion vial and prepared to leave. Just as he walked into the hallway and shut the door behind himself he realized why she had been unable to say goodbye. He pressed his hand and ear to the door. He couldn't hear her, but he was sure he'd left her in tears.
* * * * *
He couldn't resist. That night he walked close enough to her window to see that she was there. Lupin was there, too, holding her and cradling her head against his chest. It was a tender scene, except that Septima's eyes were red and teary. Lupin was comforting her, then. Severus wondered if Lupin knew why she was upset.
He asked himself again how he could leave her to this terrible choice. The Muggles would call her a surrogate, but she was nothing to Dumbledore and Lupin but a vessel for a potions ingredient. Severus could only hope that the witch who was spared was worthy of Septima's sacrifice.
A few nights later, he happened to walk down that hallway and saw them again. A wireless was sitting on the window seat, but Septima and Lupin were in the middle of the hall. He was showing her the steps to some dance, and she was doing horribly. They were both laughing.
As Severus watched, Septima tripped, and Lupin pulled her into his arms to keep her from falling. Time stopped as they clung together and she regained her equilibrium. Lupin didn't let her go. He freed a hand and used it to tip her chin up.
It was all wrong. The look in Septima's eyes as she shut them in anticipation of the kiss was wrong. The arch in her back as she pressed up into the other man's body was wrong. The soft sigh that escaped her as that man clenched a fistful of her skirt was wrong. Septima kissing anyone but him was .wrong. A low growl escaped Severus's throat, and she opened her eyes and saw him.
As he stepped back into the shadow, he saw the look she almost always had for him, followed by dismay. It had been wrong for him to watch, very, very wrong. Yet he couldn't suppress his elation. When he had come upon Septima and Lupin, they had been headed for the bedroom. That single glance between Septima and himself ruined it.
* * * * *
“Erwin has finally come through,” gloated Dumbledore. “We now know the exact hour when Remus and Septima should conceive their child.”
“Oh?” Severus feigned boredom. He pretended to nurse his glass while using a silent spell to make the brandy disappear. After three weeks of this practice, his head was much clearer. He thought of at least a dozen potions Dumbledore might have used to dose him. No doubt Dumbledore and Flammel came up with some others while they were working together. It might be anything.
Dumbledore looked carefully at him and waved a hand. “Never mind. You don't care about that.”
Severus traced the rim of the glass. “Did you want me to make the potion for Lupin?”
There was quite a bit of peering over the half moon glasses. “I think not. There's a potion Nick and I worked on that will be suitable. Oh, and by the way, we shouldn't need the June Wolfsbane, either”
It was Severus's turn to wave a hand and then yawn. “Well then, I think I shall go. I was planning to look around Hogsmeade later.”
* * * * *
A week later, he was stirring the June Wolfsbane potion. Dumbledore's plans or not, Severus was determined to have the potion on hand as long as there was a werewolf in the castle. He was just about finished when he became aware of her in his laboratory. “Septima?”
“I need your help.” She sounded strangely flat.
A/N: This has been beta read by Owlbait and Kyria of Delphi. Thank you to both of them, and also to all the readers and reviewers!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Quantum Mechanics
328 Reviews | 7.55/10 Average
I found this story on random and unfortunately got into it before I realized it hadn't been finished. I've enjoyed the pairing and the artful way in which you weave in and out of canon. I'm so sorry you've abandoned this tale - I would have liked to have seen how you would have handled the remainder of the story.
Just digging through my WIPs and noticed that you haven't surfaced in awhile. I hope everything is okay, and that you are going to continue this. I miss you.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you so much for asking about this! It's a full year since I wrote the chapter last posted for this story. My beta reader got sick, and then I got distracted by other things. I'm sorry about that. I know exactly what's supposed to happen next; I just need to write it. Let me see what I can do.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you so much for asking about this! It's a full year since I wrote the chapter last posted for this story. My beta reader got sick, and then I got distracted by other things. I'm sorry about that. I know exactly what's supposed to happen next; I just need to write it. Let me see what I can do.
Don't know how I missed this update. I like the twists this story is taking with canon. Of course, things aren't going to be smooth for them for a long time, if ever.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you for the review! I hope I'm staying relatively consistent with the canon, even if there are a few AU leaps here and there.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you for the review! I hope I'm staying relatively consistent with the canon, even if there are a few AU leaps here and there.
Oooh, clever Severus...
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
He has some good ideas, sometimes. Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
He has some good ideas, sometimes. Thank you for the review!
Please write more!!! I actually have a Septima Vector (the only) Twitter account. Some of the ways you see her and Snape and the intellectual part of their relationship is so close to how I see it as well. Very fun to read!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you for the review! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I got caught up in a couple of things that have kept me busy since last summer. More is coming, though!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you for the review! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I got caught up in a couple of things that have kept me busy since last summer. More is coming, though!
Fortunately Hermione is smart and sensible, because it must be difficult to have to treat and be treated by your parents as if you are teacher and student. I am sure she can understand and play along, but still, it would be tough. If Severus was smart, he would teach occlumency to Hermione, who could in turn teach Harry :)
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Yes, I'm sure it's difficult, but she's been keeping things from the boys for a while, like when she had the time-turner. Severus will be teaching her some extra useful things, though. Thank you, again!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Yes, I'm sure it's difficult, but she's been keeping things from the boys for a while, like when she had the time-turner. Severus will be teaching her some extra useful things, though. Thank you, again!
My favorite part of the chapter was Hermione spying on her parents. What a Harry thing to do, LOL! But, it makes you wish that they could see themselves through her eyes. I think after while you start to miss the subtle nuances in your relationship, or maybe they've never noticed because there is so much baggage with their relationship. Perhaps the Snapes need a trip into the pensieve. Nice chapter.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
It was time to bring in Hermione's POV, but yes, that's exactly what I was hoping for, here. We've gotten so much of what they're thinking and feeling, but they can't see some of the things that are visible from the outside. Thank you so much for your review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
It was time to bring in Hermione's POV, but yes, that's exactly what I was hoping for, here. We've gotten so much of what they're thinking and feeling, but they can't see some of the things that are visible from the outside. Thank you so much for your review!
Well, as he said, he likes her better than anyone living. LOL
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Yep! I'm not sure he quite understands what that means, yet. Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Yep! I'm not sure he quite understands what that means, yet. Thank you for the review!
These two are so compatible in most all things, and yet, there is a sort of disconnect when it comes to their relationship. Lily is always hanging there betweem them, keeping Severus from knowing he loves Septima, and keeping her from feeling worthy of his love. But still, they remain together. I wonder what will finally bring them together completely?
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you, again! Yes, he's still got the idea that love has to hurt, and Septima is finally giving him a dose of uncertainty, but that's not necessarily good either. Yet now with the whole Lily thing understood, things are starting to even out. There are still a couple of canon secrets from Septima that have an effect on them as a couple. We'll discover them eventually.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you, again! Yes, he's still got the idea that love has to hurt, and Septima is finally giving him a dose of uncertainty, but that's not necessarily good either. Yet now with the whole Lily thing understood, things are starting to even out. There are still a couple of canon secrets from Septima that have an effect on them as a couple. We'll discover them eventually.
That didn't go well. It could have been much worse of course, but it wasn't pretty either. But, I am glad that Septima said the things that she did. She needs to get it out, and let him know how she feels. And, not succumb to his request to come to bed with him. Of course, it was surely good for him, too. If they can just stay the course and continue to communicate- good, bad, or otherwise- I think that things just might work out.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you for the review! I think they needed a chance to have the whole thing out. She's been so afraid of his temper and of losing him over the course of their relationship, and now she's finally shed that worry and can say what she thinks, even though it's in the back of her mind that maybe she's pushing him too far.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you for the review! I think they needed a chance to have the whole thing out. She's been so afraid of his temper and of losing him over the course of their relationship, and now she's finally shed that worry and can say what she thinks, even though it's in the back of her mind that maybe she's pushing him too far.
I'm a little surprised that he shared so willingly. And didn't sugar coat it. There is hope yet. Damn Lily and her carelessness with men's hearts (and other parts, apparently, LOL).
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Lily just wanted to make sure she and James were "compatable." Unfortunately, she wasn't worried about how the other people involved would be affected. But I think Severus realizes here that there's nothing to hold on to, and he's always felt safe to tell things to Septima. Not that she's going to just handle it and move on, of course. Thank you, again!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Lily just wanted to make sure she and James were "compatable." Unfortunately, she wasn't worried about how the other people involved would be affected. But I think Severus realizes here that there's nothing to hold on to, and he's always felt safe to tell things to Septima. Not that she's going to just handle it and move on, of course. Thank you, again!
Oh, dear. She heard a lot in a short conversation. Fortunately, Severus didn't hear it. I wonder if she will share any of it with him, or ask about Lily. That was possibly the worst part of the conversation. These two really need to have a heart to heart so they know where each other stands.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I'm not sure how much Severus overheard. I think he got enough of it to know the jist of what they were talking about and to prepare for what Septima must have been thinking. They do need to talk everything out, but he's been holding onto his memory of Lily like a miser. Now that it's out there, perhaps they can start to figure things out. Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I'm not sure how much Severus overheard. I think he got enough of it to know the jist of what they were talking about and to prepare for what Septima must have been thinking. They do need to talk everything out, but he's been holding onto his memory of Lily like a miser. Now that it's out there, perhaps they can start to figure things out. Thank you for the review!
Horses ... centaurs ... she'll figure it out eventually, LOL.I like how Hermione scolds Severus and then hugs him before running off all in a short span of time.Things are a little tense betweem Septima and Severus, huh? I do hope they can both figure themselves out, and therefore, be more available emotionally to one another. The physical side of things ... I think they've got that part worked out already. ;)
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
You've hit the nail on the head. They need to figure out what exactly is going on between them. It was one thing when they had a secret to keep from Dumbledore, but now with the Dark Lord and the Order of the Phoenix involved in their lives, they need to understand better what the situation is. As for the scolding and hugging, it's the sort of thing that happens to the Daddy at our house all the time, LOL.Thanks for great reviews!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
You've hit the nail on the head. They need to figure out what exactly is going on between them. It was one thing when they had a secret to keep from Dumbledore, but now with the Dark Lord and the Order of the Phoenix involved in their lives, they need to understand better what the situation is. As for the scolding and hugging, it's the sort of thing that happens to the Daddy at our house all the time, LOL.Thanks for great reviews!
What a sweet little chapter. Septima does have a right to a life outside of her family, and if she bows down to everyone else's needs all of the time, she will lose herself entirely. That is a good sign for her.I loved the nice family feel to the scene she witnessed between her children. It was sweet as can be, and though she felt a little jealous, it seems she can see the goodness in it, as well.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
It can be a bit complicated to sort out motherhood along with the other things the mother actually wants in her life. It's a bit of a mid-life crisis, to realize some things aren't feasible, others may need to be postponed, while other things are lovely here and now. She'll figure it out. ;) I love watching siblings interact, especially when they don't realize their mum is watching. They can form such a bond together, hopefully not against the parents!Thanks so much!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
It can be a bit complicated to sort out motherhood along with the other things the mother actually wants in her life. It's a bit of a mid-life crisis, to realize some things aren't feasible, others may need to be postponed, while other things are lovely here and now. She'll figure it out. ;) I love watching siblings interact, especially when they don't realize their mum is watching. They can form such a bond together, hopefully not against the parents!Thanks so much!
Severus' daughter is good with words; it must be in the genes. "Shamefully" is spot-on. I like how actively she builds up her relationship with him, even manhandling him. Excellent thinking, too, that Severus fed Hermione the idea for D.A. Yes, well, women surely are difficult ... next the old meddler will tell Severus that men are anyhow the better partners.However, why he seems to enjoy Umbrige's meddling is not clear to me. Does he try to aggravate Severus in yet another way?
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I have several models at my house for how teenaged daughters treat their daddy. Manhandling is definitely the right word, LOL. Dumbledore has certainly hinted that he didn't think Severus would pick up with a woman, so he's just "waiting it out" until Septima gets boring or something.Meanwhile, Dumbledore is enjoying anything that causes Severus trouble because he hopes it will drive a wedge between him and Septima. Unfortunately, I don't think it's working.Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I have several models at my house for how teenaged daughters treat their daddy. Manhandling is definitely the right word, LOL. Dumbledore has certainly hinted that he didn't think Severus would pick up with a woman, so he's just "waiting it out" until Septima gets boring or something.Meanwhile, Dumbledore is enjoying anything that causes Severus trouble because he hopes it will drive a wedge between him and Septima. Unfortunately, I don't think it's working.Thank you for the review!
I love how that Arithmantic problem is spot on.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Hee hee! Well, Septima's pretty good at her art, unfortunately for Dolores. Thank you, as aways!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Hee hee! Well, Septima's pretty good at her art, unfortunately for Dolores. Thank you, as aways!
I'm glad she's finally looking to her own interests. That is important in a relationship. However, she's been bottled up so long, I fear more of the same will be coming out of her mouth.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Oh, yes, she's going to be full of snippy remarks until this is finally hashed out. She feels just confident enough to know what's missing in her life. Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Oh, yes, she's going to be full of snippy remarks until this is finally hashed out. She feels just confident enough to know what's missing in her life. Thank you for the review!
Excellent! Septima sends them away, and they find--family life! And they manage hermione's problems without her, too! Yes, she has a right to this--as much as her family has. 
A win-win-win-win situation; let's hope Septima sees it that way too.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I think Septima is beginning to realize that even when they're not what she was looking for, good things are good things. Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I think Septima is beginning to realize that even when they're not what she was looking for, good things are good things. Thank you for the review!
Leaving Septima alone with Dumbledore is always dangerous, even if the harm isn't physical.Yay for the return of the chalkboard!I thought it was interesting that when Septime made the comment about him being on both the giving and receiving end of rejection and humiliation, he automatically thinks about Lily, but not about Septima. Does he have any clue how he sometimes makes her feel? I mean he is very, very good to her, and I don't think he has bad intentions, but he is still not 100% committed to her, and in the end, that is what she needs and deserves.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I think the clue brick is in mid-swing. He's going to understand. Right now, though, he's still thinking "Yay for the return of the chalkboard!" along with you. I think Septima handled herself all right, and she survived Dumbledore being the way he always is, Mad Eye making in-your-face comments, and Tonks casting hexes. Pretty successful meeting, actually. Thanks, so much!
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
That crazy chalkboard! I've never been quite so fond of an inanimate object before! ;)
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Mmm! Me, either. ;) thank you, again!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
I think the clue brick is in mid-swing. He's going to understand. Right now, though, he's still thinking "Yay for the return of the chalkboard!" along with you. I think Septima handled herself all right, and she survived Dumbledore being the way he always is, Mad Eye making in-your-face comments, and Tonks casting hexes. Pretty successful meeting, actually. Thanks, so much!
Response from HBAR (Reviewer)
That crazy chalkboard! I've never been quite so fond of an inanimate object before! ;)
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Mmm! Me, either. ;) thank you, again!
What a nice talk Septima and Remus had. I am glad that past events didn't sour their friendship.And Sirius putting the moves on her made me giggle. Then Snape burst in and snatched her away, and while he made an obnoxious comment about Sirius' house (which also made me giggle) there was no fighting between the two which was a relief. There is enough tension as it is with Dumbledore around.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you! I think Remus and Septima see each other as veterans from the same battle. I've always pictured Sirius as a perpetual young adult male on the make, so he would consider any presentable female to be fair game. Isn't it wonderful that Snape can make a neutral comment obnoxious just with a shrug and wave of his hand? I love that about him.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Thank you! I think Remus and Septima see each other as veterans from the same battle. I've always pictured Sirius as a perpetual young adult male on the make, so he would consider any presentable female to be fair game. Isn't it wonderful that Snape can make a neutral comment obnoxious just with a shrug and wave of his hand? I love that about him.
Oh, no, now Mad Eye as well. I'd reformulate: Why does Septima feel the need to harp on Lily? Then that's a just question, and only Severus knows the answer. A great chapter, as always.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Mad Eye's ok, just a bit in-your-face. It was Tonks who cast that hex. I'll look at that sentence again. It might flow better that way. Thanks!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Mad Eye's ok, just a bit in-your-face. It was Tonks who cast that hex. I'll look at that sentence again. It might flow better that way. Thanks!
trouble in paradise, evidently.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Well, now that Septima has just about everything she wants, she's going to get dissatisfied... that's unfortunately normal for some of us. Thank you, again!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Well, now that Septima has just about everything she wants, she's going to get dissatisfied... that's unfortunately normal for some of us. Thank you, again!
Interesting that she is being inducted. Black needs a good slap.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Aw! He's harmless... so far, but we may get to slap him, too. Thank you for the review!
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Aw! He's harmless... so far, but we may get to slap him, too. Thank you for the review!
I so hope Sirius fainted from seeing Severus smile! 
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
LOL! Sirius is mostly harmless. I don't think he knows a proper way to be in public after all that time in Azkaban and on the run. I think you're right, too. Severus seems to have everything Sirius doesn't have right now.
Severus is so cunning. I'm glad Dumbles is getting played for once.
Response from Rose of the West (Author of Quantum Mechanics)
Yeah, Dumbles is going to wait a couple of years for Severus to get bored, and then we'll be at the end of book 6, bwa ha ha... Thank you so much!