Hagrid's Advice to The Next Generation

Hagrid’s Advice to The Next Generation

Keep pets.

If I could gi’ yeh only one tip fer the future, pets’d be it. The benefits o’ havin’ pets – t’ yer mind an’ body both - have been proved by both muggle scientists an’ wizard healers, while the rest o’ my advice has nothin’ backin’ it up but my own experience. Bit less chatter in the back there, I’ll be dispensin’ this advice now.

Enjoy th’ power an’ beauty o’ yer youth. Oh, never mind. Yeh won’t understan’ th’ power an’ beauty o’ yer youth till they’re long gone. But trus’ me, in 50 years, yeh'll look back at pictures o’ yerself and remember how much possibility lay ahead o’ you and how great yeh really looked. Yer not as overgrown or under-grown or fat or skinny or pimply or funny-lookin’ as yeh think.

Don't worry about th’ future. What’s comin’ will come. Worryin’ is abou’ as much use as tryin’ t’ stop a dark wizard by drinkin’ ale. Although an ale does soun’ pretty good about now… er…ahem. The real troubles in your life are like to be things that never crossed yer mind, the kind that blindside yeh at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday when someone tells yeh yer big mouth may’ve handed Dark Lord the clue he was lookin’ fer.

Do one thing every day that scares yeh. No, comin’ t’ my class doesn’t count.

Sing. A couple o’ ales helps.

Don't play aroun’ with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who play aroun’ with yers. Pets won’t do that t’ yeh.

Yer teeth are important, so floss ev’ry day. Groomin’s important too, so comb yer beard at least once a week.

Don't waste yer time on jealousy. Sometimes yer ahead, sometimes yer behind. And one day yeh come t’ realize yer not really in a race at all – ’cept maybe wi’ yerself.

Remember when someone says summat nice about yeh. Forget when they say summat nasty. It’s not easy and I don’t always manage it either, but do yer best, that’s all I’m sayin’.

Keep yer old love letters. An’ yeh know, it wouldn’t hurt t’ study French, too.

Stretch. Don’t worry, yeh won’t end up as tall as I am.

Don't feel guilty if yeh don't know what yeh want t’ do with yer life. Sometimes yeh can just fall inta a good job right when yeh thought yer life was over.

Get plenty of calcium. The bigger yer bones, the more yeh need. ("Big bones" my…)

Maybe yeh'll marry, maybe yeh won't. Maybe yeh'll have kids, maybe yeh won't. Maybe th’ love o’ yer life’ll leave yeh when yer kids are still little, maybe yeh'll go thuderin’ into th’ sunset, han’ in han’ and lie down t’gether like the legend my mother’s people ’ave ’bout th’ two old giants who became mighty mountains joined t’gether forever by a li’l range o’ hills where… well, anyway… Whatever happens, don't congratulate yerself too much, or berate yerself either. Lot o’ it’s chance an’ luck, and that’s true fer all o’ us.

Enjoy yer body. Use it every way yeh can. Don't be afraid t’ wrestle trolls now an’ then.

Dance, even if yeh have nowhere to do it but yer livin’ room. There’s advantages t’ that. Last time a certain young Slytherin chap came peekin’ in my window where ’e had no business t’ be, I happened t’ be dancin’. Haven’t seen ’im aroun’ since.

Read th’ directions, ’cause some creatures are really tricky t’ take care of.

Don’t read beauty magazines. There’s no interestin’ creatures in ’em, just a bunch o’ skinny girls wi’ too much makeup on.

Get t’ know yer parents. Yeh never know when they'll be gone fer good. Be nice t’ yer siblings, even if yeh didn’t know yeh had any. They might need yer help even if they don’t know it.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Better yet, hold on t’ all of ’em. Sooner or later yeh’ll need ’em fer summat. And they might need summat, come t’ that.

Live with Goblins once, but leave before yeh step on anybody. Live with Giants once, but leave before yeh get stepped on.

Accept certain facts o’ life: Flesh-eatin’ slugs will get into yer garden. Politicians will make yeh a scapegoat. Yeh’ll get old like th’ rest o’ us. And when yeh do, you'll start thinkin’ that when yeh were young, there weren’t near as many slugs, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect yer elders.

Don't expect anyone else t’ support yeh. But never forget who gave yeh a job so yeh could support yerself! Great man, Dumbledore, great man! Er… ahem. Anyway…

Don't mess too much wi’ your hair. My mother’s people believe it’s unhealthy t’ cut it.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient wi’ them that supply it. Givin’ advice is a way of fishin’ the past out o’ th’ midden, wipin’ it off, painting over the ugly parts and passin’ it on t’ somebody that can maybe get better use out o’ it.

But trus’ me on the pets.