XV: Father and Daughter

Thanks go to JKR, for creating the HP universe, to my lovely beta Apple Blossom and all you faithful readers out there.

Chapter XV: Father and Daughter

Severus was just about to leave the dinner table when a polite cough from Filius made him turn his head to look at the Head of Ravenclaw House.

'Eydis earned ten points for Slytherin today,' Filius declared, beaming. 'She was the first of the Slytherins to cast Wingardium Leviosa properly.'

The good news was rewarded with a raised eyebrow from Severus. 'And why, pray tell, Filius, do you feel the need to share this information with me?'

The little wizard almost choked at his pumpkin juice and coughed for quite some time before he could give Severus an answer. 'Eydis is your daughter,' he gasped. 'I assumed you would be proud of her.'

Severus drew himself up to his full height and glowered down at his colleague.

'While at Hogwarts, Miss Snape is not my daughter, Filius,' he explained in a tone that would have made every single first-year Hufflepuff faint. 'She is a student like every other, and I am nothing more than her teacher, her Head of House and her Deputy Headmaster.'

Filius looked flabbergasted, and Minerva butted in: 'Severus, I admire your professionalism, but I think you are overdoing it.'

Once more, Severus' eyebrow shot up. 'Overdoing it, Headmistress?'

'Yes. It is indeed prudent of you to treat Eydis like every other student while she is in your classroom. But when we are talking about her among colleagues, among friends, you are allowed to be proud of her, Severus. For goodness sake, you are supposed to be.'

Severus gave her a look just as sinister as he had given Filius before, but the older woman did not even flinch. Not even when he – somewhat vehemently – pushed back his chair.

'How I treat my students – or my daughter for that matter – is entirely up to me. In case you have any complaints, Headmistress, I suggest filing an official complaint to the School Governors.'

A curt nod was all his colleagues got from him before he left the staff table. And as he swept down the aisle between the Slytherin and the Ravenclaw table, his robes billowing behind him and a trade-mark scowl on his face, several students lowered their heads. No one dared meet the eye of the Potions master when he was in that kind of mood.

Eydis, however, did not even notice. She sat with her back against the aisle and was deeply immersed in a conversation with Scorpius Malfoy.

~ ~ ~

Slamming the door of his study shut behind him felt good, so incredibly good. And for a moment, Severus considered ripping it open again and slamming it once more, just for the sake of it. But he restrained himself. Slamming doors didn't really help, and he should not have let himself get wound up like this in the first place.

He had to hand it to his colleagues: they were right. Unfortunately enough, they were entirely right. He was most probably overdoing it. He had always been known for being biased and favouring Slytherin House. He had always been – by his standards – generous with awarding his House points. But when it came to Eydis, he had not awarded her one single point since she had started her education. Not that she hadn't deserved them.

During her first Potions class, Eydis had identified all fifteen potions ingredients correctly. Of course she had. Severus had expected nothing less of her. She had, after all, been brewing potions with him ever since she had been tall enough to reach the cauldron. But he had not given her any points for her knowledge.

During her second Potions class, Eydis had been the first student to hand in a perfectly brewed batch of a simple antiseptic. And again, Severus had not awarded any points and only acknowledged the potion with a brief nod.

He tried to convince himself that the little one didn't mind. She knew that she was doing a good job. And she also knew that he was not the type of father – or teacher – who handed out gold stars for a chore well done. And she also knew better than to expect any special treatment from the Potions master just because she was his daughter.

But his conviction had faltered when he had overheard two first-year Slytherins in the back of the classroom. They had been discussing whether he was being especially nasty to his daughter, or if he was just in an exceptionally foul mood.

And now, even his colleagues thought that he was overdoing it.

Then maybe he was. But what was he supposed to do? Hand out points left and right just to prove them wrong?

Maybe Eydis studying at Hogwarts had not been such a good idea after all. Severus had considered sending her to Durmstrang. Tishonov, the new Headmaster there, would certainly have been delighted. But Minerva had advised against it. And Severus had to admit that he did not want to send Eydis away.

To be completely honest, he found it hard enough to have her sleep in the Slytherin dormitories instead of their quarters. He missed her. He missed their bantering at the dinner table, missed her marching into his study around eleven o'clock at night, telling him that it was time to go to bed. But most of all he missed the sleepy smile on her face when he went to wake her up in the morning.

He gave an almost imperceptible snort. Who would have thought? He, Severus Snape, Terror of the Dungeons and the Reason Why So Many First-Year Hufflepuffs Wet Their Beds, missed his little daughter although she was never more than a few feet away. He could see her as much as he wanted to. He saw her at breakfast, lunch and dinner, and twice a week in his class. As her Head of House, he could summon her to his office at any time of the day, and nobody would dare ask any questions. If he wanted to, he could even come up with a reason to give her detention two or three nights a week. Merlin, he could set her an impossible task in class and then force her to take remedial Potions.

Or he could just stop being such a stubborn git and smile at her once in a while.

Severus frowned. Would anybody even notice if he awarded Eydis with some points now and then? Would anyone mind? And would anyone disapprove if he took off his teacher's robe on the weekend and took her to Hogsmeade for some ice cream, as her father?

He would consider his options. And the next day in Potions class – provided that she deserved it – he would award Eydis ten points. Fifteen, actually. Just because he could.

~ ~ ~

December was a busy month. Minerva had come down with the flu in late November, and Severus, in his role as Deputy Headmaster, was running the school, teaching his classes and brewing countless batches of Pepperup Potion. And when Poppy prescribed him three days of bed rest to cure his own head-cold, he almost hexed her. As if he had time for lying in bed.

It was a trying time, though, and when the last student closed the dungeon door behind her after the last lesson before Christmas, Severus let himself fall onto the nearest chair and closed his eyes for a moment. He could not recall the last time he had felt so exhausted. He had had a headache for the last five days, certainly due to his cold, his hands were icy cold, and he could feel every muscle in his body aching.

He rubbed his tired eyes and sighed. 'You are getting old, Severus Snape,' he said to himself.

Not that he was old by numbers. Fifty-eight was no age for a wizard. But both his body and his mind had been through enough hardships to fill three lifetimes, and right now, Severus felt endlessly tired and very, very old indeed.

He would, of course, attend the Christmas feast in the Great Hall that evening. It was his duty. But he would retire early, draw himself a relaxing hot bath, and then probably take a Sleeping Potion so he would be able to spend an undisturbed night. And tomorrow, on Christmas Day, he would just ...

Christmas Day, the loneliest and at the same time the most wonderful day of the year.

It was the day of the year when he missed Cassandra the most. And it did not take a lot of effort for him to remember how alone, how desperate he had felt that Christmas morning eight years ago, when he had woken up and realised that the love of his life was gone forever. Everything had seemed so meaningless to him that morning. And he had seriously considered following his beloved beyond the veil. But Eydis had held him back. She had needed him then, and he had needed her. And together, they had managed to go on.

It had been hard at times. He still missed Cassandra sorely. She had done so much for him. She had shown him the way home and given him the two greatest gifts of all: her love and their little daughter.

Severus smiled faintly as he thought of his little daughter. She wasn't that little anymore. She was eleven now, a good student and a popular girl. He had seen the looks she was getting from her male peers, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel angry or proud.

The next day, the students who remained at Hogwarts for Christmas would go for Christmas brunch at The Three Broomsticks. Eydis would go, too. Severus knew that. She had come to ask his permission a week ago, and he had of course given it to her. He wanted nothing more than see his little angel happy. And if she wanted to spend Christmas with her friends, he would not stand in her way.

But he had to admit that he would miss her.

~ ~ ~

'Thank you, Severus.'

'For what?' he asked, looking into Cassandra's blue eyes.

'For making Eydis happy, for making her smile.'

Then Cassandra started to fade away, and Severus extended his hand, tried to hold on to her.

'Can't you stay?' he asked, perfectly aware that she couldn't. But he had to ask. He always did.

Once more, Cassandra smiled at him, just for him. And when Severus woke up, he could have sworn that the pillow beside him smelled of musk and honey, and that the bed sheets were just a tad warmer than they used to be.

It had been a good night. He had allowed himself a glass of mulled wine during the Christmas feast and then a glass of Firewhisky in his quarters. And that small amount of alcohol had been enough to send his body and his tired mind into the land of slumber. The Sleeping Potion he had intended to take stood still on his nightstand, untouched.

He had dreamt of Cassandra. He still did so quite often, especially around Christmas. But this dream had been different. She had smiled at him, and they had talked. And whereas dreams of her normally made him wake up with a feeling of emptiness in his heart, that Christmas morning he had woken up feeling peaceful and at ease. And he could not help but wonder what it meant.

He showered and got dressed, made sure Eydis' Christmas present was still safely stowed away in his study, and then he ascended the stairs to go to breakfast in the Great Hall. It wasn't until he saw that only a few students were still there that he realised how late it was.

'Severus, are you alright?' Minerva inquired with a frown as he took his seat.

'Why ever would I not be, Headmistress?' He had had a look in the mirror. He wasn't paler than usual. And the dark shadows under his eyes were actually less prominent that morning. Why would she ask if he was alright?

'It is nine thirty, Severus.' Minerva sounded truly worried. 'You have never been that late for breakfast before. I assumed that you had been here earlier.'

'If you must know,' he explained, 'I slept late.'

'Slept late?' Minerva's eyebrows threatened to disappear in her hair, and she grabbed his hand. 'My dear boy, are you certain that you are feeling alright?'

To his own surprise, Severus did not withdraw his hand. Instead, he looked at Minerva, his colleague, his friend, and nodded.

'Yes, Minerva,' he replied. 'For the first time in a long time, I am actually feeling alright.'

~ ~ ~

'Where the hell have you been?' Eydis' outraged voice greeted Severus as he returned to his quarters.

'Language, Miss Snape.'

'Miss Snape?' She rolled her eyes at him. 'You might have failed to notice, but it is Christmas, Daddy.'

Daddy. She had not called him Daddy for quite some time but always Professor or Sir. Just as they had agreed.

'Yes, Eydis, I am very much aware of the fact that it is Christmas today,' Severus replied and smirked as he saw the little one cross her arms in front of her chest.

'And?' she demanded.

'And what?'

Once more Eydis rolled her eyes. 'Haven't you forgotten something?'

'You will get your present in the evening, Eydis. Just as you always do.'

'Not that!' The tone in her voice told Severus that his daughter was getting annoyed with him, but for the time being he honestly had no idea what she was talking about. 'Merlin's pants, it's Christmas, Daddy! Broom ride, Hogsmeade, visit Mummy.'

For a moment, Severus just stared blankly at his daughter. Certainly, she couldn't be planning on spending her Christmas Day with him. She was about to have brunch with her friends. She had told him so a week ago.

'Well, are you coming or not?'

'I thought you were going to have brunch at the Three Broomsticks,' he finally managed to get out.

'Yes, I am,' Eydis replied. 'Later. But right now, I want to go on a broom ride with my Daddy. Just like we do every year.'

~ ~ ~

Two hours later, Severus and Eydis sat behind two cups of hot cacao at the Three Broomsticks. The other students had already arrived and were flocking around the brunch buffet Rosmerta had laid out, but Eydis didn't seem to be in a hurry to join them. She had even threatened James Potter to hex him if he came over and asked her once more. And so the boy had trotted off, and Eydis had stayed seated, opposite her father.

'Did Mummy like red roses?' she suddenly asked.

Severus shook his head. 'Your mother hated flowers. The first time she invited me to tea, she especially told me not to bring any.'

Eydis frowned. 'Then why are there always roses blooming on her grave?'

Severus swallowed. To be honest, he did not know why he brought roses. Gryffindor red roses, for Merlin's sake. It had probably something to do with the silly notion of red roses representing love.

'I think Mummy would be glad about them anyway,' Eydis went on.

Then she laid her hand onto Severus'. And he stared at it. It looked ridiculously small.

'You still miss her, don't you, Daddy?'

Severus looked up, and his black eyes met Eydis' blue ones. They had the same shade of blue as Cassandra's, the same shape. And still they couldn't be more different. Eydis' eyes were always laughing. And while there had always been a smile in Cassandra's eyes, there had always been the hint of a shadow as well. Always. Even at the happiest of times.

Severus took a deep breath before he spoke, and the ghost of a smile flitted over his lips. 'Yes, little one,' he confessed. 'I still miss your mother.'

'That's okay, you know,' Eydis said and squeezed his hand. 'I miss her, too.'

~ ~ ~

Despite her protests, Severus left Eydis with her friends at the Three Broomsticks and then made his way through the bustling crowd of Hogsmeade toward the edge of the village. He had no Christmas shopping to do and hence no actual reason to linger, but he did not feel like returning to Hogwarts just yet.

Why he decided to return to the cemetery, he did not know, but suddenly, he was standing at Cassandra's grave once more. It had been snowing since he and Eydis had left, and the roses he had brought were covered with a thin layer of snow.

'I am sorry that I insist on bringing you flowers, Cassandra,' he whispered. 'I am aware that you do not like them. But I do not know what else to bring you.'

The first gift he had ever given her had been three scented candles. She had liked them. Maybe he should bring candles the next time he visited and bewitch them to burn even when it was windy or raining.

'Are you visiting your wife?'

Severus turned around and came to look at a tiny, very old and wrinkled woman who was leaning heavily on a walking stick. In her other hand, she held a bouquet of yellow tulips.

'I am visiting my husband,' she went on and pointed towards a grave three rows away. 'He is lying right over there, has done so for thirty-seven years.'

Severus nodded silently. Thirty-seven years and she was still bringing him flowers. Would he still visit Cassandra twenty-nine years from now?

The crone stepped closer and leant slightly forwards to read the inscription on Cassandra's headstone. 'Not even forty-seven,' she lamented. 'It's a shame when the young ones have to go. Such a waste.'

Again, Severus nodded. He did not know what to say.

'The little one you were here with earlier, she is your daughter, isn't she?' the woman inquired. 'She is the spitting image of her mother.'

How ever did she know?

As if she had read his mind, the crone answered. 'I can see them, you know. The ghosts. It's a rare gift. Some call it a curse.'

'Do you mean they are here?' Severus asked despite himself. Surely, the old woman must be suffering from dementia. 'Your husband and my wife? Are they here?' He desperately wanted her to say yes.

'Not just here,' she explained. 'They are always with us. They never leave the ones they love.'

He had hoped that much.

~ ~ ~

It was mid-afternoon when Eydis came to find her father. The crone had long since left the cemetery, and Severus's cloak was covered with snow.

'Are you alright?' the little one asked as she tugged at her father's cloak. He had not noticed her.

Slowly, Severus tore his eyes away from Cassandra's grave and faced his daughter. She looked just as worried as Minerva had done earlier that day.

He reached out his arm for her, and Eydis let herself be pulled into an embrace and laid her arm around her father's waist. They stood there for quite some time, both absorbed in their own thoughts.

'Do you think that your mother is still here with us?' Severus finally asked.

And Eydis nodded. 'Yes. Sometimes when I am reading in the album, or late at night when I cannot sleep, it feels like she is there, like she is watching over me. It is like I can sense her. Does that make any sense, Daddy?'

'Yes, it does, little one.'

Eydis looked up at her father, and for the second time that Christmas Day, blue eyes locked onto beetle black ones.

'Will she always be there, Daddy? Will Mummy always be there to watch over us?'

To that question, Severus had no answer. But he truly hoped that the crone had been right and that Cassandra would never truly leave them.