Part X: Circe's Revenge
Chapter 10 of 12
averygoodunSnape forgets that fooling Voldemort was child's play compared to fooling Circe.
ReviewedDisclaimer: I imagine JK wouldn’t even dream of writing something like this, let alone show it to the world, but, still, the credit for the characters goes to her.
AN: Warning: This has some questionable language in it. As a Yank, none of the words bother me, but...
Part X: Circe’s Revenge
Circe thought back to her conversation with Hermione. She had felt the twinge of guilt Hermione experienced, but originally thought it was because of failing something. After seeing Snape making that potion, whilst humming “Brown Eyed Girl,” well, they obviously were better actors than she had anticipated.
Vengeful little buggers, she thought. They couldn’t just enjoy their newfound happiness in peace, could they? They had to get her back for making them happy, didn't they? Well, she’d show them it wasn’t wise to mess with love. It wasn’t wise to mess with Circe either, now that she thought about it.
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It didn’t take long before Circe had a fully formed plan waiting to be executed. She dropped her Disillusionment Charm and knocked on Professor Snape’s door.
“Enter,” his voice shot out.
When she came in, she noticed all traces of the potion were gone as was his humming demeanor. She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and then proceeded.
“Severus, how are your dates progressing with Hermione?”
“As well as can be expected I suppose,” he sneered, his tone implying the worst.
“Mm. That’s too bad,” Circe said, smiling seductively at him. “Maybe she’s the wrong one for you.”
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Snape stared at her, hoping he was misreading her signals. When he spoke, he was grateful his voice remained squeak-free.
“Perhaps.”
Circe smiled hungrily. “Well, it doesn’t happen often, but I can admit it when I’m wrong. I must say I am slightly shocked, but I’ll also concede that I’m rather pleased.”
She had advanced on him slowly throughout her speech and was now standing before him, running a finger lazily up and down his frock coat buttons.
“As I’ve gotten to know you a little better, it’s plain to see that you need a mature woman, not a girl.”
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“Madam!” Snape objected, pushing her hand aside and backing away from her quickly. “Are you trying to seduce me?” His voice did squeak that time.
“Trying? No.” Circe smiled at him. “I do not try to seduce. I succeed.” She then brought her lips to his and proceeded to kiss him boisterously.
Several things went through Snape’s mind in quick succession. First, though Circe was one talented witch, she couldn’t compare to Hermione. Second, Hermione would KILL him if she found him snogging her grandmother, and third, he would really deserve it.
He pushed Circe away forcefully. “Woman, desist now!”
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Circe wiped her mouth and smiled triumphantly. “I knew it! You love her! I don’t know why you two tried to fool me, but--”
Snape cut her off. “Why do you think I’m in love?”
“Because, silly boy, the only times anyone has actually refused me was when they were in love. Or preferred men.”
“Well, you are correct,” Snape unwillingly conceded. “I am in love.”
“Oh, that’s so wonderful, we must owl my son--”
“It’s not with Miss Granger,” Snape interrupted.
Circe stopped and stared. After a few moments, she gained her voice and asked, “Who, then?”
“Albus Dumbledore.”
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He was having a difficult time restraining his smirk, which threatened to cut loose its bindings and run rampant across his face. It was very difficult; Circe’s face was satisfyingly stunned.
“But... He’s never... You... Hermione... You kissed her!” she finally managed to vocalize.
“Madam, do you think I want to advertise my true relationship with Albus? It is not exactly an appropriate arrangement,” Snape pointed out.
Circe hummed thoughtfully, then looked up with a smile.
“Well, I must go congratulate Albus on such a fine catch.”
Snape sincerely hoped his scheme would amuse the headmaster enough to play along.
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AN: Next up: Snape talks with Dumbledore, and subterfuge ensues.
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Latest 25 Reviews for 25 Dates
185 Reviews | 6.54/10 Average
Wonderfully fluffy! Even fluffier than marshmallow fluff!
Missy/LovesRickman
Lol loved the perverse pun with pig latin. Excellent ending for Snake Face
Missy/LovesRickman
This story was wonderfully entertaining and fun. I truly enjoyed it. You gave me 3 wonderful nights of wine and reading a lovely, amusing story about my favorite couple before bed. Well done!!!!! 
Good night, dearest AG.
With Circe for her grandmother, does that still qualify Hermione as a "mudblood"? I know her parents are muggles but her blood is bluer than his! Can he still call her that? Isn't her dad more like a sqib? That would make her a half blood wouldn't it? 
I second my 2011 review. My cat doen't want me to type more.
What fun!!!! I've read it years ago and remember Hermione gets fixed up with Snape by Circe and that's it. Not because it isn't a memorable story, mind. It's because I have no short term memory. I do remember being 18 months old and my brother being brought home from the hospital. Seriously. I'm terrified I have early dementia. But it won't make it better to stress about it, so I'm off to the next chapter.
Thanks for that funny story!
Hahahahaha, loved how Hermione & Severus looked for the opportunity in their predicament! ;)
This was a fun sounding challenge, and you did a great job with it! Loved this story! :)
Bravo! Quite enjoayable piece of romantic fluffy wuffy. I love romantic fluffy wuffy! 
Not as smart as one would expect of Snapeypoo! Not to be a nag, but does he not realize whom he is trying to best?
I bet Albus will play along alright. If I know him he'll tell Severus he's been in love with him too and just didn't think Snapeypoo would ever return his feelings, that's what! 
I've no idea what she'll do to Hermione. She has shamelessly embarrassed the girl. If Hermione really is the smartest witch of her age she'll apologize and explaine that she was just embarrassed, then thank her for getting Snapeypoo to fall for her.
Apparently, they forgot who they are dealing with and have grossly underestimated their adversary. Cheeky! 
The powerful witch and wizard are just a little bit too impressed with themselves. I imagine they will find out one shouldn't toy with goddesses.
So much for Harry's Bilboish speach. I was thinking that Snape would be rather stinky and not very kissable after so much time in a dungeon but then I remembered cleansing charms. That was a close one. I was about to be icked out by a Snapeypoo- Hermione kiss. That was the whole point of the story! I hope Aragog and his spawn actually ate the swine. Do spiders poop? Could Volde come back to life from magical spider poop? Let's hope not.
Circe's Big Bra on a Centaur!! Pa-leez! Must you embarrass the girl so heartlessly? Give her a break and tell her about Snapypoo in private, could you? 
Admittedly, Snapypoo did deserve to be left at the Malfoy's. But I expect you to deliver him in good health to Hermione when he's learned his lesson.
Circe's pink knickers! 'Bout time she stepped in! 
I hope she addresses the problem with Ferretbutt, as well.
I don't see why Snape would be offended by Hermione taking Ferrethead down a notch, implying he wanted to be Snape's tart. She in no way insinuated that Snape would be open to the idea. I thought it was brilliant! Too bad about Malfoy. I hope he has a change of heart and chooses the light. You'd think he'd at least be afraid of insulting Circe's grand daughter. I hope Circe has been paying attention to the little ferrethole.
How do Circe and Dumbledore expect things to progress in a romantic way when the couple have promised not to cross the Student-Teacher line? It's time for Dumbledore to let Severus know that as long as he is descrete the Headmaster would turn a blind eye should feelings develope between Severus and Hermione. Otherwise, it's time Circe laid down some more laws and told Dumbledore to give Severus permission to court Hermione if he so desires. 
Circe's Ass!
What is the problem with those Slytherin twits? Worried Hermione out ranks them? Mwaaahaaahaaa!
Sweet Circe!
Bwahahaha! I LOVE this story! Transfiguring Dumbledore into a boar! Definitely a boar and not a bore! Snapey's undies must be in a bunch!!!
ROTFLMHO! That is one of the funniest Severus/Hermione fics I've ever read. After a "grumpy" day, this brought a smile to my face and had my family looking at me like I was crazy for laughing so much and so loud. I don't think the skimming in the last chapter was a problem at all... with the style of the fic, it worked perfectly!
Very enjoyable and pleasingly in character. Altogether believable.
very good!
Meddling old biddies LOL