A Very Brief War
Chapter 8 of 12
averygoodunThe final battle in 200 words. And some other stuff.
ReviewedAN: Warning: This part includes scenes of war and therefore diverges from the romance in the storyline. As such, be prepared for much more silliness beyond the normal scope. Oh, and remember, the “t” is silent on Voldemort (JK says so).
Disclaimer: Not mine, nor for money. Had loads of fun, though.
Part VIII: A Very Brief War
Snape scowled for the billionth time. He inwardly cursed Circe for the umpteenth time. He shook his head in despair one last time, dimly aware that he was getting dizzy from doing so.
Suddenly the door opened revealing Lucius, interrupting Snape’s set pattern.
“Is it tea time already?” Snape asked bitterly.
“Unfortunately, no. The Dark Lord is curious about your absence from Hogwarts. I don’t really want to be in his bad graces again, so...” He opened the door for Severus.
“At least you have your priorities straight,” Snape spat.
Lucius closed the dungeon door, not noticing the missing crone.
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Snape and Lucius had reached the entrance when their marks started burning.
“Drat,” they said in unison before apparating to their master’s side.
“My loyal minions, bow before my greatness,” the Snake Man hissed. “Tonight we will defeat that brat, and Dumbledore will meet his doom. I have acquired the assistance of a most powerful ally, one who will help bring about my victory.”
A witch stepped out of the shadows dressed in an avocado green toga with gold flowers in her hair.
Snape didn’t get the chance to frown before Voldemort announced with a flair, “Meet my mistress, Circe.”
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The bad guys marched up to Hogwarts grounds, but the good guys stood at the ready. Phalanxes of the Order were headed by Dumbledore himself.
“Stand down, Tom, or you’ll face your greatest fear,” Dumbledore declared.
“Not on your life, Dumbledore. You’re not the boss of me!” Voldemort retorted, somewhat childishly.
“So be it, “ Dumbledore replied, and then the battle started. Hexes flew and curses hit. People fell left and right. There was no mercy on the field that night.
In the midst, a couple met, embracing at their reunion.
She said, “You’re still alive.”
He kissed her in reply.
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Circe watched as Hermione and Snape finally overcame their differences. She then turned to the humanoid beside her and smiled with wicked thoughts.
Voldemort looked at his lover, and smiled back, misreading her expression.
“Well, lover, it’s been fun, but you’re no Odysseus,” she said, then turned her wand on him. In an instant the man disappeared, leaving an angry pig squealing in his place.
“Harry, over here,” Circe cried, pointing to the swine.
Harry tromped over and aimed his wand. “Ookcayigpay!” Harry roared. Steam formed and cleared, revealing a roast pork.
“Clever,” Dumbledore cheered. “Wouldn’t have thought of that.”
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Not even Fang ate the roast that night, so Hagrid took it to Aragog. But the fate of the Snake-Turned-Man-Turned-Pig bothered no one, as long as he was dead. The celebrations that night were loud and cheery.
Dumbledore asked Harry to say a few words to mark the occasion, so Harry looked down at the spot charred by his spell.
“Here lay evil Voldemort;
Thank the gods that he’s no more!
He made life hell,
but it ended well,
so let’s not be too sore,” he rhymed.
Everyone cheered wildly, praising the brevity as much as the content of his verse.
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AN2: So, I might have cheated just a wee little bit, but according to my word processor, each part contains exactly 100 words, so I'm not going to feel guilty.
Next up: A little plotting, a little revenge and lots of snogging.
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Latest 25 Reviews for 25 Dates
185 Reviews | 6.54/10 Average
Wonderfully fluffy! Even fluffier than marshmallow fluff!
Missy/LovesRickman
Lol loved the perverse pun with pig latin. Excellent ending for Snake Face
Missy/LovesRickman
This story was wonderfully entertaining and fun. I truly enjoyed it. You gave me 3 wonderful nights of wine and reading a lovely, amusing story about my favorite couple before bed. Well done!!!!! 
Good night, dearest AG.
With Circe for her grandmother, does that still qualify Hermione as a "mudblood"? I know her parents are muggles but her blood is bluer than his! Can he still call her that? Isn't her dad more like a sqib? That would make her a half blood wouldn't it? 
I second my 2011 review. My cat doen't want me to type more.
What fun!!!! I've read it years ago and remember Hermione gets fixed up with Snape by Circe and that's it. Not because it isn't a memorable story, mind. It's because I have no short term memory. I do remember being 18 months old and my brother being brought home from the hospital. Seriously. I'm terrified I have early dementia. But it won't make it better to stress about it, so I'm off to the next chapter.
Thanks for that funny story!
Hahahahaha, loved how Hermione & Severus looked for the opportunity in their predicament! ;)
This was a fun sounding challenge, and you did a great job with it! Loved this story! :)
Bravo! Quite enjoayable piece of romantic fluffy wuffy. I love romantic fluffy wuffy! 
Not as smart as one would expect of Snapeypoo! Not to be a nag, but does he not realize whom he is trying to best?
I bet Albus will play along alright. If I know him he'll tell Severus he's been in love with him too and just didn't think Snapeypoo would ever return his feelings, that's what! 
I've no idea what she'll do to Hermione. She has shamelessly embarrassed the girl. If Hermione really is the smartest witch of her age she'll apologize and explaine that she was just embarrassed, then thank her for getting Snapeypoo to fall for her.
Apparently, they forgot who they are dealing with and have grossly underestimated their adversary. Cheeky! 
The powerful witch and wizard are just a little bit too impressed with themselves. I imagine they will find out one shouldn't toy with goddesses.
So much for Harry's Bilboish speach. I was thinking that Snape would be rather stinky and not very kissable after so much time in a dungeon but then I remembered cleansing charms. That was a close one. I was about to be icked out by a Snapeypoo- Hermione kiss. That was the whole point of the story! I hope Aragog and his spawn actually ate the swine. Do spiders poop? Could Volde come back to life from magical spider poop? Let's hope not.
Circe's Big Bra on a Centaur!! Pa-leez! Must you embarrass the girl so heartlessly? Give her a break and tell her about Snapypoo in private, could you? 
Admittedly, Snapypoo did deserve to be left at the Malfoy's. But I expect you to deliver him in good health to Hermione when he's learned his lesson.
Circe's pink knickers! 'Bout time she stepped in! 
I hope she addresses the problem with Ferretbutt, as well.
I don't see why Snape would be offended by Hermione taking Ferrethead down a notch, implying he wanted to be Snape's tart. She in no way insinuated that Snape would be open to the idea. I thought it was brilliant! Too bad about Malfoy. I hope he has a change of heart and chooses the light. You'd think he'd at least be afraid of insulting Circe's grand daughter. I hope Circe has been paying attention to the little ferrethole.
How do Circe and Dumbledore expect things to progress in a romantic way when the couple have promised not to cross the Student-Teacher line? It's time for Dumbledore to let Severus know that as long as he is descrete the Headmaster would turn a blind eye should feelings develope between Severus and Hermione. Otherwise, it's time Circe laid down some more laws and told Dumbledore to give Severus permission to court Hermione if he so desires. 
Circe's Ass!
What is the problem with those Slytherin twits? Worried Hermione out ranks them? Mwaaahaaahaaa!
Sweet Circe!
Bwahahaha! I LOVE this story! Transfiguring Dumbledore into a boar! Definitely a boar and not a bore! Snapey's undies must be in a bunch!!!
ROTFLMHO! That is one of the funniest Severus/Hermione fics I've ever read. After a "grumpy" day, this brought a smile to my face and had my family looking at me like I was crazy for laughing so much and so loud. I don't think the skimming in the last chapter was a problem at all... with the style of the fic, it worked perfectly!
Very enjoyable and pleasingly in character. Altogether believable.
very good!
Meddling old biddies LOL