I See Everything You Hid

For seven years

"Seven Years" by Natalie Merchant

October, 1995

Lupin, Moody, Minerva, and Snape all sat in the Headmaster's Office. It was an impromptu meeting of the Order...only those privy to the most top secret of information were allowed. It was in the middle of the night. Albus wanted it to be that way. Unfortunately, there was also a rainstorm raging outside. Albus kept looking out the window, his concern about something or someone palpable. The room was illuminated by only the dimmest of lights. Snape huffed in his chair as the silence reigned on them all.

"Albus, is this necessary?" he hissed. "We've been here for fifteen minutes. What the devil is going on?"

"Severus," Albus said softly, raising a hand, "I understand your impatience. Please, our guest is coming from a far off place and under a great deal of pressure. Lives are being risked as we speak. I think we can spare a little inconvenience."

Another five minutes passed. Lupin started pacing. Minerva started tapping her foot. Snape sat fuming in his chair. This is ridiculous! I have better things to do than wait about here all night for God knows what!

Just then the door opened and a wet figure came in.

"Oh, thank the heavens!" exclaimed Minerva as she went to look after the wet stranger.

A whirling of cloaks revealed a very tired and weary witch. She wore dark blue robes that only accentuated the dark lines under her dark eyes. Her hair was sopping wet, and she looked ready to drop. Minerva ushered her to a chair by the fire and began to work a drying spell on her hair and clothes.

"Oh, please, Minerva, stop!" she said in a breathless voice. "I'm too far gone for that. Just let me sit by the fire...oh, Headmaster, hello!" She weakly tried to stand, and Dumbledore stood hurriedly while coaxing her to remain seated. She smiled feebly and then said, "Thank you."

Minerva brought over a cup of tea. "This has a wee dram in it," she whispered.

"Ta, Professor," she said, still a bit breathless.

She took a steady drink, her face started to come alive, and a little color crept into her pale cheeks. Her smile was brighter, and she cleared her throat.

"Okay, I think I'm all together now...body and soul intact. We'll see if my mind is still with me as well," she said with a small laugh, flashing her perfect smile.

Albus smiled and turned to the three men awaiting answers.

"Remus Lupin, Alastor Moody, Severus Snape, this is Miss Alissa Devon."

Bloody Fuck!

Moody and Lupin were most cordial while Snape hung back in the shadows. Minerva chided him.

"Severus, is that anyway to greet an old schoolmate?"

"No," he said defensively. "I did not wish to overwhelm Miss Devon while she is still acclimating herself to her surroundings."

Alissa looked at her old lover and said, "Hello, Severus."

"Miss Devon," he said stiffly.

"Please," Dumbledore interjected. "We are all professors, colleagues, contemporaries in at least two cases," he smiled to Lupin and Snape each. "Let us dispense with the formalities. We are here for a very important meeting. Alissa, if you would?"

She took a deep breath and began her tale.

"It was difficult to get away, and I apologize for making you wait, but, um, it could not be avoided. I've been under intense scrutiny since Igor went into hiding."

Severus wondered what "scrutiny" meant.

"Headmaster, is it safe?" she whispered uneasily.

"Yes, Alissa. You may say anything."

"Um, I don't mean to be difficult, but, uh, there seems to be no delicate way of going about this." Her eyes wandered towards Snape.

Moody growled.

"Alastor!" Albus warned.

"Obviously, this woman knows something about old Snape, eh? Maybe your trust, Albus, is a bit overrated in his case."

Snape bolted from his chair. "This is a pointless waste of my time and energy. I shall take my leave now, if you don't mind?" he sneered at Alissa.

"Severus, you are not going anywhere, so be still. Alissa, Severus has been working for the Order for many years now. You probably have been in each other's presence and may not have known it," confided Dumbledore.

Moody jumped up, his wand at the ready. "Great Merlin's ghost...she's a Death Eater? Albus, what have you done?"

Alissa sat calmly drinking her tea. Apparently, she had prepared herself for such a reaction. Snape was intrigued. She must be a Death Eater. How else would she have survived this long at Durmstrang?

"Moody, please, you must trust me. Alissa is on our side," insisted the older wizard.

"Do you carry the Dark Mark?" asked Remus

"No," said Alissa softly. "The Dark Lord since his rebirth has chosen discriminately amongst his followers those who shall bear the Dark Mark and those who shall not. I am simply required to be in his presence once a week. At each meeting, the day and time change, and I go from there. One can mingle freely when not so encumbered by being branded, especially a witch."

"Wisely put," added Severus.

Moody looked as if he were about to have kittens. He was not sure about anything and was very edgy about this whole situation. His radar was going insane, and his eye swiveled incessantly about the room.

Alissa stared at Severus for a moment and continued without comment to his input, but with anger in her voice.

"Igor's defection, or cowardliness, however you want to put it, placed me in a position of great peril. After all, he trained me, sponsored me, in the hopes of offering me up to the Death Eaters as a peace offering, in hopes of getting back into their good graces. Then, when he had realized the Dark Lord was returning, the moment that we had been working towards for more than a decade arrived, he takes off while here, leaving me...buggered. When Durmstrang was taken over by the Dark Lord's henchmen, I was unceremoniously stripped of my position as professor, taken from the castle, and forcibly returned to Great Britain. The trip was not one to remember. I was a prisoner of war." She stopped and took another sip. Her hands were shaking.

"Minerva, may I please have something stronger?"

The older witch jumped up immediately and went to the decanter.

"Make no mistake, gentlemen. We are at war, no matter what that blowhard, Fudge, says! The Dark Lord is on the move, via his Death Eaters. There will be more disappearances, more deaths, and this time, there will be no quarter shown to anyone, regardless of their blood status or station. He is completely psychotic, even more so than he was before. I don't know this from personal experience, but one hears things about 'the good 'ole days.' Furthermore, do not let anyone fool you. The bastard wants to rule the entire Wizarding World, and he wants to rule from Hogwarts, where all the Old Magic will be at his disposal," she said darkly.

"It was you."

Everyone's head snapped towards Snape. His sneer was gone and the real man behind the scowl came out. He looked at everyone and said softly, "Last week, there was a Death Eater...I presumed being punished for some foolhardy indiscretion...I arrived during the middle of it. I thought it was a young recruit, the scream was so high pitched," he said sourly. "It was you?" he said in disbelief.

"Yes, I've seen you on a number of occasions since my release," Alissa admitted softly.

"Release? What?" Snape was speechless.

"Have you not been listening?" she snapped. "I was punished severely and tortured after Igor left. What did you expect the Dark Lord to do? On only Igor's recommendation, I was a Death Eater in training...Igor's apprentice! You can see how much that was worth! It was only by sheer force of will and years of hard work that I was able to successfully thwart the imbeciles he sent to question and torture me via Occlumency. I am not a natural Occlumens. If under his torture, I may break, so I work very hard to stay on the Dark Lord's good side. Unfortunately, these days, who the bloody hell knows which side that is?" she admitted. "You possess a magical eye, sir. Would you please tell the others what you see?" she asked Moody.

She took the drink from Minerva and slammed it back in one gulp at the shock of Minerva and at the respect of every man in the room. She stood and turned her back to them.

"Merlin!" breathed Moody as he examined the back of Alissa's body.

"She has been soundly thrashed," he reported. "There's scarring...extensive all over her entire back. Cat-'o-nine tails?" he asked her.

"Among other things," she mumbled as she sat down.

Snape was angry. He wanted to know who did that to her. He wanted to see. All he could recall after so many years was what her body had felt like: creamy satin skin that was only marred by the blushes she could not hide from him by her cavalier demeanor of playing the wanton.

"Severus?" Albus asked.

"Who did this, Alissa?" Snape demanded.

"It's not important, Severus. Suffice it to say that my ability to endure without breaking earned me my seat amongst your fellow compatriots, or shall I say 'ex'-compatriots. My situation is still not secure, but as long as I remain useful, I shall make my way through. If I am to do this, I MUST have no backsliding. I must do whatever is required. That means if you hear of deaths, or disappearances, you can be sure I was involved, and you cannot contact me! I shall contact Albus, and he shall inform you. However, I cannot promise I'll be consistent. You shall get what I can provide when I am able. Just know I am humane in my killing. That is all I can promise. I will not prolong suffering if it can be helped. Moreover, there can be no contact between me and Severus. Do you understand?" she said tersely to Snape.

"Young woman, I was spying against the Dark Lord long before you even entertained..."

"Right, right!" she interrupted sarcastically. "You possibly have no idea how long I worked and struggled since I was eighteen when I started this whole bloody business! I will not have it ruined now because you want to pull out the yardstick! So I'll save you the bleeding energy. You've got four years ahead of me," she sounded off.

Moody laughed wickedly. He loved seeing Snape get knocked down a peg. It happened so rarely.

"It seems now you have a friend amongst enemies, Severus," replied Dumbledore quietly.

Snape gave a snort and narrowed his eyes, boring them into Alissa's.

Why?

Is that any different from what you've been doing? At least you are alive. She's dead.

Snape closed the connection between them, turned on his heel, wrenched open the door, and slammed it behind him in furious anger.

Alissa sighed and held her glass out for another re-fill.

A/N: Well, that could have ended better. Up ahead, more conversation after Snape's departure, and the war becomes a reality for the Order. Thanks again to my beta, MadBrilliant! Please review!